2016 Missouri State Fair

I had an appetizer of sorts in the hour before I got to the Missouri State Fairgrounds on Saturday.  In the pantheon of “girls who got away”, near the top of my list is a girl named Shelby who I met online four years ago when she still lived in Iowa, but only a couple of weeks after we met she felt compelled to transfer out of the school she was attending and move back to Missouri to be closer to family.  I felt a strong connection to Shelby and kept the line of communication open after she left.  We’ve remained good friends since but she married and had a little girl two years ago.  I’d never met her in person but she lives not too far from the Missouri State Fairgrounds so I inquired if she’d like to get together for lunch when I came down.  She brought the husband and daughter which I was fine with since I didn’t want to make her feel like I was making a play to break up her marriage, but we had a good lunch and she wrapped it up with a Marlboro Smooth in the parking lot and a stinky hug before we parted.  It was a little sad to realize that with better timing her and I could be together but it was a very satisfying meeting and put me in good spirits heading to Sedalia for my second Missouri State Fair a half hour away.

It was going up to 1:00 before I pulled into the state fairgrounds, leaving me with 11 hours for fetishing.  The dark skies were clearing out and it was gonna be great weather with a nice breeze and temps right around 80 degrees.  Everything was in place for a great day at the fair, and it didn’t seem too far-fetched given the fairly localized nature of this fair and the fact that I was going on the same Saturday as last year that I’d get an encore from last year’s “12-hour sighting trio”, the chainsmoking early 20s babes who gave me the best sighting of all of 2015 by leaps and bounds and one of the most comprehensive sightings of my entire life.  Well they didn’t show up.  And since those three represented just about everything worth seeing at last year’s Missouri State Fair, my day was a disappointment.  The crowds at Missouri’s fair never approach those of Minnesota or Iowa so despite more smokers generally in Missouri, the sightings count never gets as high.  Luckily, it was a Saturday with nice weather and there was a Lady Antebellum concert in the evening that drew a good-sized crowd by Missouri State Fair standards so I ended up with a higher sightings number count than last year–93 compared to last year’s 77–but bear in mind that I was distracted for hours by last year’s “trio” so it’s not an even comparison.  Objectively, I had my share of extra-base hits, but as has been the case all fair season, I’m struggling with those home runs.  And this Missouri State Fair will be more than anything else defined by two potential top-tier superstars who were confirmed smokers that I got a “barely sighting” and a “no sighting at all” from, so be prepared for a heartbreaking read.

Almost right inside the gate I scored my first sighting, a slightly chubby mid-20s dark blond who was a very modest reward but good enough to count.  I ran into this a lot last year in Missouri and did again this year.  While there were plenty of babes, there was also a disproportionate number of redneck smoker girls who looked good from behind but had a horse face or meth mouth when you got up close.  I’d rate Minnesota and Iowa girls as more attractive on balance.  The first few sightings I had were reminders of that, and there were plenty of instances where I was on the fence as to whether the girl in question was attractive enough to count or not.

Continuing the redneck theme was Sighting #4 who came on the midway, a modestly attractive light brunette navigating the grounds with her mother and who looked about eight months pregnant as she unashamedly smoked a cigarette.  I still get occasional pregnant smoker sightings, but it’s been about three years now since I’ve seen one so blatant and unapologetic as the two of them got in line for midway tickets moments later with the mommy-to-be still smoking as she stood in line.

Missouri’s state fair midway was a giant disappointment last year despite my wishes to see lots of teen smokers there, but right away on Saturday it was coming through with some decent sightings.  But there was one girl I saw on my first two passes who was not smoking but really locked in my interest.  It was this incredibly wholesome dark brunette who looked about 22 and was wearing a black tanktop and a skin-tight pair of white shorts that demanded to be leered at.  There’s nothing sexier than a summer girl who wears a pair of white shorts that perfectly, but I looked at that face on both midway encounters with her and thought to myself, “Yeah right…a girl like her is really gonna smoke this day and age!” before moving on.  I would instead settle for Sighting #6, this mid-20s redhead in a flower-print summer dress walking out of the midway with a pack of Marlboro 27s in her hand.  I already counted her as a smoker based on the pack but was hopeful her female friend, there with her boyfriend, with a hotter body and wearing white shorts would light up.  They’d migrate into this open-air bar and grill and the redhead immediately lit up a Marlboro.  The blond and her boyfriend did not.  Every time I walked past this place for hours I’d check in.  The blond and her boyfriend had left quickly after without smoking, but were replaced by other family and friends.  I saw the redhead smoking three times over several afternoon hours but I can’t say the girl did much for me despite the heavy smoking and feminine presentation.

My first extra-base hit of the day came with Sighting #8, a sighting I caught based purely on fetisher’s instinct as I spotted this duo of mid-teen girls walking my direction from the side and noticed one of them had her right hand slightly cupped with her thumb and forefinger pinched together.   I held back for a moment to get a closer look as she approached, and sure enough, it was a 16-ish girl with a cigarette!  This is the sort of thing I figured would be most likely to see in Missouri compared to Iowa or Minnesota.  Now neither girl in this duo was exactly homecoming queen material but it was definitely the better of the two who was smoking.  She had that weird combination of blond hair mixed in with a light blue that I’ve seen quite a bit of lately among teen girls, wearing a revealing purple tanktop and jean shorts.  She didn’t have a great body but there was nothing wrong with it, and the face was modestly attractive.  Twenty years ago this wouldn’t have been an extraordinary moment at all, but following this mid-teen girl as she openly smoked a cigarette in a venue this public in the middle of the afternoon gave me some hope for the future.  She wasn’t a bad smoker either, taking very nicely paced drags and producing worthy exhales.  I was going nuts with the camera and captured several decent photos, including in mid-drag.  The carnival worker Newport teen at the Iowa State Fair late Wednesday night was a prettier girl but this one nonetheless got me excited.  She dropped out a curiously small cigarette butt after about three minutes of performing and I approached the butt to find out she had broken the filter off.  Seems like a pretty hard-core move for a 16-year-old girl and I was even more impressed.  The butt was a Pall Mall.  I saw her and the friend one more time a couple of hours later but no more smoking.

And right when I was about to get some fairly impressive momentum, I had a scare as my phone started producing this prompt that the keyboard has stopped working.  I typically text a friend of mine serial numbers for sightings poised to get a writeup so I will remember them when I get to my computer later, but I couldn’t do that now…nor could I text anyone.  I didn’t know if I had a serious phone problem or if I had just pocket-dialed a settings change that really screwed me up (in the end it appears that’s what happened because I took it to Best Buy and they were able to salvage it).  It was nonetheless not good for morale, and I wondered if all the photos I was taking at the fair and on the rest of my vacation would be stuck on a broken phone.  Logistically it was also a big problem because I continually got prompts the keyboard doesn’t work even while I was trying to snap photos on the sly.  Just one more impediment on a day that would be a struggle overall.

Despite that setback, I was enjoying my spurt of momentum as the immediately ensuing Sighting #9 was excellent too.  If you’re lucky there are a few times a day when you spot a very special girl with a cigarette that perks you up instantly.  My first girl of the day who fit that description was this late 20s redhead with a mane of lustrous red hair going all the way down her back and a sexy face with the weathering of a long-time heavy smoker.  Making the presentation even more jaw-dropping was the stylish black leather jacket she wore along with a pair of skin-tight jeans and boots.  She looked like she came out of the late 80s in many ways and was seated on a bench with a group of family and/or friends, only one other of whom was smoking.   The bench was isolated enough that I couldn’t get close enough to take good pics so I had to attempt a few pics from afar, none close enough to get anything worthwhile.  She was a nice smoker though, with some solid drags and very cloudy exhales that her mostly nonsmoking group was forced to choke on sitting in such close proximity to her.  I got to see about seven drags before she unfortunately stood up and dropped the cigarette into one of those God forsaken “smoker’s outposts” and denied me the butt ID.  The good news was she and her group were heading my direction to go into the DNR building, the entrance of which I was sitting next to.  This was my chance to get a photo….but that “keyboard stopped working” prompt screwed me over repeatedly and kept me from getting a photo before she got inside.  The best I could do was walk in behind and get a couple of blurry pics in the dark building.  One of the blurry pics does capture her form in that incredible leather jacket, tight jeans, and boots combination though.  After dark, I’d see this girl again and while she wasn’t smoking, I managed to get a close look at her face and body again, and she was an absolute standout sexpot.  Even with the challenging logistics and fairly limited sighting, this year’s fair sightings haul have been mediocre enough that I could easily see this girl making this year’s top-25.  She was certainly worthy of a top-tier position had I seen more.

The momentum continued with Sighting #10 as I was approaching the Chuck and Dee’s bar where the majority of last year’s “12-hour sighting” played out and came upon an outdoor bench where a visible hottie with a cigarette sat with several others.  It was a long-haired light brunette wearing a ball cap, black tanktop and jean shorts who looked about 30 and also had the weathered look of a long-time smoker.  I sat down on an adjacent bench which was good for viewing and picture-taking and I snapped a handful.  Sitting next to the light brunette smoker was this more fresh-faced darker brunette who didn’t have the body of the smoker but nonetheless intrigued me a little more.  She was fidgeting around on her phone but I could see an all-white cylinder in her left hand and figured it was an unlit cigarette she was gonna fire up as soon as there was a break in her texting.  Unfortunately, it was an e-cigarette….the older kind that are actually shaped like cigarettes that I hardly ever see anymore.  Once she started vaping, I immediately lost interest and focused entirely on the actual smoker next to her for the rest of the cigarette.  No real bells and whistles or storyline but it was a solid sighting that kept my spirits relatively high that I was gonna have a good day.

Another run through the midway yielded another winner in Sighting #13, a family of smokers sighting where presumably mom, dad, and a mid-20s daughter were all standing by the benches smoking.  There were apparently other family/members of their group who weren’t smoking hovering nearby away from the ciggie stench but there was ample room on a nearby bench for me to observe and snap a few pics, although none captured this gal the way I had hoped.  She was a dark blond in sunglasses whose hair was held up by both headband and ponytail, wearing a neon yellow tanktop and dark jeans.  She was relatively plain jane looks-wise but attractive enough for me to sit down and watch upclose given the dynamic, and hot damn what a great smoker she was with multiple no-purpose dangles and dangling drags, all done while chatting with her parents over shared consumption of tobacco.  I would have scored some fantastic dangling photos if not for that damn keyboard prompt on my phone which repeatedly sabotaged the photos that required precision timing like the dangling and dragging ones…and when I did get the timing right she turned her head and botched the shot.  Either way it was one of the better sightings of the day in terms of style and I got to see most of the cigarette smoked before she crushed it out.  I didn’t get a formal ID butt but seeing it dangle in her mouth for so long the color scheme looked very much like a Camel Blue.

I was really ticking the sightings off in those early afternoon hours and got another extra-base hit with Sighting #16, this light brunette whose ponytailed hair came out of a ball cap and whose nice body was draped in a black tanktop and jeans.  There was an unfortunate tattoo on her forearm but she had a pretty face that made up for her ho-hum presentation, and was standing outside one of the commercial buildings smoking all by herself.  She wasn’t dressed as though she was a fair employee but I got the impression right away that’s what she was as I watched her smoke standing in isolation and took a bench right next to her where I snapped photos and watched the show.  It was very solid as she dragged copiously and released some nice, cloudy exhales.  My positioning with her standing behind me could have been better but I saw enough to get some enjoyment before she crushed the cigarette out and walked back into the building, reinforcing my impression she was likely a worker at one of the commercial stands.  Her cigarette butt was an L & M menthol, and L & M seems to be very, very popular in Missouri.  I was fortunate enough to get another sighting of this girl a couple of hours later and watched her emerge from this same building, only this time walking around and then hovering in the area near this line for an indoor circus.  It was a great location for me to stand nearby and watch her smoke, and she put on another great performance of nicely timed drags with hugely cloudy exhales that really satisfied.

Now the day hadn’t been going quite as well as those first two hours at last year’s Missouri State Fair when I was neck deep in the “trio’s” all-day performance, but I was pleased with my haul so far.  Unfortunately, things were about to take a troubling turn in the immediate aftermath of my most exciting revelation thus far during fair season.  I was walking by this seating area next to a bunch of food vendors when my eyes locked on Sighting #20.  But she of Sighting #20 wasn’t just an ordinary smoker girl…..this was the wholesome brunette in the tight white shorts I saw twice on the midway in the prior hours and dismissed outright as a possible smoker, yet there she was with a cigarette smoldering between her fingers as she sat across the table from some bubba of a boyfriend who wasn’t smoking.  Jackpot, I thought to myself as I migrated towards a bench in direct view of her and watched her raise the cigarette to her lips and take a honey of a drag, releasing a three-pronged exhale out of her mouth and nostrils.  As I took my seat and readied my phone, I thought to myself that this was gonna be the logistical perfection I’ve awaited all summer…..a split second before she tossed the cigarette to the grass.  Nooooo!  It looked like there was plenty of it left too so I was especially distraught.  I nonetheless snapped a couple of pics which aren’t bad given how upclose they were but she was sitting there leaning her chin into her hand so you don’t fully get to appreciate her beautifully wholesome face.  The couple was no longer eating yet stuck around there, acting as though they were waiting for someone.  Maybe she’ll light up another I thought to myself, watching out of the corner of my eye every time her hand moved towards her purse, but always to pick up her phone and fire off another text.  I sat there a good 15 minutes determined to wait her out for as long as she was willing to sit there, and listened to her banter about her job with the boyfriend, not seeming to be too thrilled with the CNA job I suspected she was talking about but avoiding a complaining tone that may have lessened her charm.  I hope this Missouri redneck guy with her has a clue how lucky he is to be in the company of this sexy hottie…..

Unfortunately, they blinked before I did and got up to leave in about 15 minutes.  I walked behind and snapped a pic of her incredible ass in those tight white shorts, albeit a little further back than I’d have preferred to keep from getting busted.  I was disappointed by the minimal payoff but simply knowing that this quintessential Midwestern cutie was indeed addicted to nicotine gave me some satisfaction. But c’mon, these Missouri State Fairgrounds aren’t that big and surely I’d run into her smoking again, right?  Well I didn’t….and it stuck in my craw for hours afterwards as the sightings became less frequent and more forgettable moving forward.  I went back to ID her discarded butt and it was another L & M, consistent with the bright red box shape I spotted just the corner of poking out of her purse.  I’m better off knowing she smokes but it almost hurts more to know that she does but I didn’t get a significant sighting from her.  This one left a bruise….and she wouldn’t be the only one from Saturday who would either.

As I said, the brakes came on almost immediately after that sighting and the next few hours were as dull as dull could be, interestingly following the same odd pattern as last year where, after a glowing first few hours with my “trio”, the late afternoon and early evening hours were downright abysmal.  One of the few bright spots was a cluster of younger women in their late 20s and 30s standing in a circle chatting about motherhood, a couple of them smoking.  Only one of them was attractive enough to count though and that was Sighting #23, a long-haired dark blond in a white blouse and blue jeans with a nice slender body.  I only saw a couple of drags before she was finished though.

I got a more comprehensive sighting for Sighting #26, a mother-daughter sighting on the midway featuring a 50-something gray-haired mom and an attractive blond daughter in sunglasses, a pink blouse and jeans whose age alluded me.  She was quite attractive and could have passed for 28 but she carried herself slightly older and I figured she might have been as old as 35.  They were hovering around the center of the midway as if waiting for somebody and attended to their all-white cigarettes, putting on a very nice show.  The daughter was an adept smoker taking very timely drags and putting some real thrust into inhaling before exhaling following some solid hold times.  I got a couple of good pics in but fumbled a couple others that I figured would have been better.  I found a bench with a nice vantage point and watched the daughter finish her cigarette, ultimately dropping it to the pavement.  I marked where she dropped the cigarette and looped around the midway to ID the butt a few minutes later.  It was a Salem 100!  I haven’t seen a woman smoking a Salem in ages.  Nice break to the late afternoon monotony for me.

The hours trudged along in the 6:00 time frame and my morale was sinking, buoyed only by memories of the huddle of young people that forms on the beer garden block that paid off handsomely for me in the evening hours last year.  Plus that Lady Antebellum concert appeared to be drawing a decent-sized crowd, even though little was materializing from it on the smoking front thus far.  Sighting #33 was a gal standing outside a bar who looked at least half-Asian who I caught towards the end of her cigarette and was putting on a pretty impressive stylistic show before finishing it off.  It was probably the best I had seen in two hours at that point though.

The midway, a complete letdown for me in 2015, was producing nearly all of my good sightings during that dead period on Saturday and was once again the case with Sighting #37, a blond mid-20s mommy smoking a cigarette standing outside the slide waiting for her daughter to get off.  She was quite attractive wearing sunglasses, a black-and-white striped T-shirt and jean shorts.  I stopped to admire her show and take some pics, but quickly heard her say to the daughter, “Leah I’m gonna stand over here”, and my suspicion is she was moving because she was onto me watching her.  I hovered from the awkward vantage point and watched a little more of her show after she moved.  It was a good show but not close enough up to get as excited about as I would have been had she continued smoking where she originally stood.

It was going up to 8:00 and I was officially in despair as the lines for the Lady Antebellum concert were getting longer and the grounds were as busy as they’ve ever been, but nobody was smoking.  I finally got a sight for sore eyes with Sighting #42, this strawberry blond in a black tanktop and white shorts who was hanging outside a bar and grill smoking a cigarette in the presence of a nonsmoking boyfriend who looked considerably older than her.  I tend to date younger girls myself so it’s possible there was the 15-year age difference there appeared as this cutie looked 30 at the most.  I got a couple of pretty solid pics of her but didn’t get to see a ton of smoking and what I did see didn’t stand out stylistically.  It would have helped to observe from a seated vantage point but that was out of the question here.  The boyfriend/husband walked towards some free entertainment stage under a tent and the girl lost her cigarette before going in there.  She was smoking a Newport.  Wished I’d have been able to see more from her.

Another sighting that started out promisingly came quickly after as I watched a very hot early 20s blond and brunette duo walking out of the beer gardens walking outside, the blond holding a pack of Marlboro Lights.  I followed them anticipating greatness and couldn’t have been more excited seeing the blond open up her pack and light one up to become Sighting #43.  The brunette, who was even hotter than the blond, sadly did not follow suit.  Making matters worse, the girls were walking westward down this corridor by the farm equipment with the setting sun directly in my eyes.  My photos obviously weren’t turning out….and I couldn’t even really see much of the smoking with the sun so directly in my eyes.  Thankfully, after this very long stretch of walking into the sun, the girls turned southward to an increasingly remote part of the grounds.  I was at least able to snap a couple of rear photos but the blond was a very slow smoker and it eventually became clear the girls were heading to the parking lot to leave.  I could have tried to follow but with as slow as the blond’s smoking was it increasingly seemed not worth the risk, so I turned around disappointed once again.  It occurred to me after this sighting that part of my problem on Saturday was that I was never seeing more than one girl smoking at once, even in groups.  Back in the day, my numbers used to add up when there’d be groups of two or three girls smoking together but I just wasn’t seeing that Saturday….and less in general for that matter.

The sun had set and the evening concert began with country newcomer Kelsea Ballerini opening for Lady Antebellum.  Sightings were nowhere to be seen and I was beyond frustrated.  After Kelsea finished singing, there was an intermission before Lady Antebellum got up there and thus a built-in smoke break for nicotine-addicted females in the crowd.  Unfortunately, behind the grandstand at the Missouri State Fair is an open air bathroom air with a fence on the outer end, meaning I had to hover at this fence and awkwardly look in to see smoking activity.  It was worth it though as there was a group of early 20s gals hanging out in the general line for the bathroom and two of them were smoking, one blond and one brunette and both hot.  That’s right folks…..two girls smoking!!!  At the same time!!!  At the Missouri State Fair!!!!  Sightings #49 and #50 to be exact.  The brunette intrigued me more of the two but they were both hot, but once again I got screwed because they BOTH had their backs to me for 90% of the sighting.  I only saw a couple brief snippets where they turned their heads to exhale and revealed one side of their faces.  I stood there for about three minutes waiting for what I hoped would be an inevitable reward, but the reward I’d get would actually come when I turned my head to my right to scope out the scene outside the grandstand…..

As I turned to my right, I spotted a fresh-faced teenage blond in a white bare-midriffed top and daisy dukes I had seen earlier on the grounds and gotten a smoker vibe from.  She and a boyfriend illuminated their isolated walking spot when they both lit cigarettes.  Suddenly I was vacating the grandstand fence in a hurry to get a look at this show, and I finally got the timing and logistics right for Sighting #51.  I had figured she was 18 but she may have been younger given how sneaky she was being about smoking, lurking in the sparse southeast side of the grounds and walking between buildings with the boyfriend as she smoked.  It was now dark, especially in the poorly lit area these two were walking, so photo-taking was out of the question, but as I followed at a comfortable distance and was impressed with the pacing and how the darkness illuminated the cherry every time she dragged.  She and the boyfriend migrated to a better lit area as they got towards the end of their cigarettes and I was able to see her face.  She wasn’t a classic beauty but she was a girl-next-door type with an innocent face and it was so wonderful to know she smokes, and appeared to be a pretty adept smoker at that.  She dropped the butt to the pavement and crushed it out, finishing her cigarette quite a bit sooner than the boyfriend finished his.  The butt was a Marlboro Red Special Blend.  This was the burst of adrenaline I needed for the evening hours where things did get better.

The pace of sightings FINALLY began to pick up and I got an interesting one in Sighting #54 when I saw a couple in their early-to-mid 30s where the gal was smoking a fairly large cigar.  She was only modestly attractive and not young enough for it to really get me off the way I would if she was 10 or 15 years younger, but her comfort level smoking this cigar as she walked was at least a little gratifying and I kept pace with them for a good 100 yards watching her take a few drags.  Just when I was about to drift away, she held up the cigar to the mouth of the boyfriend/husband and offered him a drag, sticking the wet, stinky cigar butt moistened by her mouth right up in his face as he took a drag and then she reclaimed it as her own.  If this gal was gorgeous and/or quite a few years younger, this would have been quite the exceptional moment for me.

The next older-than-my-usual sighting was more my speed in terms of the gal though, as I walked down the line with bars and spotted Sighting #55, this 30ish long-haired dark blond with a pretty face and an incredible body smoking an all-white in the presence of two guys who were also smoking.  She wore a green top and very tight jeans around her perfect figure.  I hovered to watch bits and pieces of a great smoking show, but there’s a logistical downside even on this block full of bars that seems to draw so many smokers in the evening, and that’s the awkward crowd presence with nearly nowhere to observe unless you’re right up in their faces.  I did this for a bit and saw some nice smoking from a long-time pro close enough that I could tell her brand was Marlboro Light Menthol 100s but she was a fairly slow smoker and it was very hard to linger.  Luckily, this gal came through a couple more times as I saw her smoking three cigarettes over the course of the evening, although none of her smoking shows took place anywhere where I could stick around for more than a few drags.

There’s a set of bathrooms a short distance from the block of bars that tend to draw a lot of smokers.  The best of this group I’d see last Saturday was Sighting #57, an attractive 20-something blond puffing on an all-white while chatting with a group of mixed-gender nonsmoking friends.  She was dressed conservatively in a white top and jeans but she had a face that stood out, holding a pack of Camel Light Menthols in her hand.  There was (wait for it!) no good place to stand and watch but I found as good of a spot as I could about 15 yards away.  She was another agonizingly slow smoker and appeared by her mediocre technique to likely be a social smoker, but I still got some gratification over the fact that she was the only person in this group willing to smoke a cigarette at this time, so if she is a social smoker, she certainly wasn’t doing it here to be “sociable”.

The Lady Antebellum concert was nearing its end and I hadn’t yet given up hope yet on finding something great.  I was heading towards the grandstand awaiting a mass of humanity departing the show but was sidetracked by Sighting #65, this tall light brunette hottie who was the only smoker in a group of four early 20s gals.  They were getting a jump on the post-concert bathroom traffic and headed towards the bathroom nearest the grandstand.  This tall brunette in her black top and jean shorts was the standout beauty in the group and I was originally very excited to see her smoking, but her cigarette was pretty freshly lit so I was distraught that she was getting in line for the bathroom, knowing the show would end way sooner than it had to.  She took a couple of nice back to back drags standing in line, oblivious to others in line who may not have appreciated the stinky fumes she was exhaling, but as she approached the bathroom entrance she dropped the less-than-half smoked cigarette to the pavement immediately in front of the entrance.  That was kind of sexy in itself, but not as sexy as a full cigarette sighting would have been.

Before the bulk of the Lady Antebellum concert departure, I took one more jaunt down the block of bars and stumbled into another rare multiple-girl sightings that began with Sightings #67 and #68, two 19-20ish girls in a group standing amidst a group of four girls.  One was a decently attractive dark brunette but the girl who captured my fancy was this wholesome blond in a turquoise top and jean shorts who looked just a little out of place with cigarette in hand.   She took her first drag and it wasn’t bad at all, but better yet she turned to the brunette smoker and exhaled directly into her face as she began to talk.  I watched two more very nice drags and exhales from her and was really getting into this sighting until I saw the blond offering up the cigarette to one of the nonsmokers in the cluster who turned her down.  But another modestly attractive late teen blond showed up and immersed herself in the group, and the next thing I knew she had a half-smoked cigarette in her mouth and the other blond no longer had hers.  The good news is that this sighting turned into a three-for-one with the addition of the newcomer, but the bad news is Sighting #69 didn’t do as much for me as the blond who preceded her.  The new girl had a nice body and wouldn’t be bad looks-wise but had the unfortunate inverted chin look that undermined her a lot.  She finished off the cigarette and dropped it in the grass on her walk to the bathroom.  I’d see the newcomer blond smoking again not long afterwards but she was now immersed in another group.

There was a modest amount of smoking to see as the crowds departed from the grandstand after the Lady Antebellum concert, a process that thankfully lasted quite a while, but far and away the best sighting that emerged from this departing crowd was Sighting #74, this early 20s blond with a mane of very long hair coming out of the back of her ball cap and hanging all the way down her back.  She had a lot of junk in the trunk inside her short jean shorts, and in some cases that’s not attractive, but she was one of those girls who makes a big caboose look fantastic.  But the best part about this blond hottie was her smoking show, which was outstanding.  Her drags were fierce and done in rapid succession, indicating she was clearly in the middle of a huge nicotine craving after sitting in that long concert so long.  But the most adorable part of her routine was the exhales.  Here she was, very clearly waiting and looking for somebody after this show amidst this mass of humanity leaving the concert, and exhaling her smoke as carelessly and recklessly as humanly possible as she wandered about.  The entire way she handled herself with the cigarette was pretty reckless and I’m pretty amazed that a dozen people didn’t end up with flesh wounds because of it, but those exhales were simply amazing as several people bathed in the exhales of this bull in a china shop smoker cutie.  I watched her smoke the entire cigarette and it didn’t take long for her to do so at the fast pace she smoked, and when she was done, she just tossed the butt to the pavement still smoldering.  I checked out the discarded butt and it was, surprise, another L & M, although this one with blue lettering.  Not sure what the blue lettering represents on L & Ms.  I know the green are menthol and the brown are reds.  Whatever the case, great sighting…and it was about to be followed by the evening version of the early afternoon’s heartbreaker.

I was walking towards the most heavily populated bar on the block and as I weaved my way through the crowds, I found myself looking into a canyon of teenage cleavage propped up in the most perfect possible way a couple of feet in front of my face in this candy apple red tanktop.  Those who read my writeups know that I’m instinctively more of an ass and leg man than a boob man, so if a girl has boobs impressive enough to draw my attention to this degree, you know it’s a big deal.  Going further south, the presentation was even more astounding with this pair of acid-washed medium blue daisy dukes that caressed an insanely well-sculpted ass and were cut at exactly the right place to show off a perfect pair of legs.  A more perfect late teen body could not be designed even in a human cloning lab!  The face wasn’t quite as perfect.  She was certainly attractive, a solid 8 on the 1-10 spectrum, but not in a stand-out-in-the-crowd sort of way in comparison to everything below the neck. As this incredible female specimen turned around and began to walk away, I noticed a pack of L & M Reds stuffed into the left back pocket of her daisy dukes.   I was beside myself with joy knowing this girl smoked, and seeing the cigarettes in her back pocket was enough to count her as Sighting #75.   She and another friend who looked about 18 held onto each other’s shirts so as not to lose themselves as they navigated through this dense crowd en route to a different spot.  I was able to keep tabs on them as they migrated to a less packed area and began to hover at that spot.  There was a railing parallel to it where I could observe largely inconspicuously while still checking out people walking by who might be smokers.  It looked like I had this situation whipped and was gonna get a sighting from this girl one way or another…..

I waited and waited and waited for a good 20 minutes, and the crowd got big enough and unpredictable enough to get in the way at times while my smoker girl and her group seemed to slowly migrate in the wrong direction towards the crowd.  Still, I was able to keep track of this beauty and my eyes always found a way to land upon that incredible ass with the square cigarette pack bulging out the back pocket of the daisy dukes.  Unfortunately, they then began migrating towards this dance club place that seems to be the most popular hangout among kids under 21 since they don’t serve alcohol and are teen-friendly.  Just last year, I lost my best evening teen sighting when she got swallowed up in the glut of humanity right at the entrance of the club….and my girl was moving that direction now.  I headed over to the spot hoping to avoid calamity….but I ultimately noticed that I lost her as she must have found her way inside that club as others were exiting….or else she just hovered in the middle of the entrance in a way I had no chance of seeing.  I kept coming back to that spot for the final hour of the night, praying I’d get a chance to see her smoking, but I’d never see her again.  Not sure which hurt worse between this girl and my wholesome brunette in white shorts (#20) from early afternoon.  I might actually say this girl hurt more because I at least got to see one drag and cigarette in hand from the brunette in the afternoon.  Still, it’s pretty rare to have two painful near-misses of this caliber in one day at the fair, where my two top smoker girls of the day never come together for a sighting worthy of them.

Most of the last hour of the night was a blur as I was so obsessed with seeing this brunette Barbie body smoking and most of the rest of the new sightings I was scoring were all pretty modest in scope compared to the primary target, but I did get a nice consolation prize from another teen smoker girl.  The 17-18ish dark blond cutie (Sighting #51) who I had seen smoking with her boyfriend an hour or so earlier was now out on the better-lit street full of blocks amidst a huddle of teen friends and this time she wasn’t bashful about smoking publicly rather than hiding in the shadows like before.  And the lack of lighting earlier limited my vantage point of her smoking style, but as I was able to get really close to her now, that was no longer a problem and her exhales were sublime, with dense blasts of smoke rocketing out of her mouth and nose after each drag.  This girl was the real deal, and I had noticed earlier that she had this belt on her daisy dukes with some writing on it but couldn’t read the message until now.  It said “Come Get Me, Bros” that couldn’t have possibly been more suggestive.  Couple that with the impressive smoking show and the contrast between this good-girl-gone-wild presentation and her girl-next-door look made for the day’s most striking storyline.  The second sighting of this one really made it something special and thus elevated her to my favorite girl of the day.  It certainly didn’t make up for the loss of sightings #20 and #75 though.

Even though I was only scoring singles, the last half hour saw a pretty decent surge in sightings numbers.  My feet were starting to blister and it was time to go before I caused more serious pain as I did that first night in Iowa.  My last sighting of the night was, fittingly, another teen, this petite 16-17ish dark blond smoking a Black ‘N’ Mild cigar.  Unfortunately, Sighting #93 had a “skater girl” look about her and it wasn’t doing much for me despite the cigar.  She was being introduced by a friend to a pair of much cuter and more feminine-looking teen girls which I found intriguing but it was pretty clear no additional smoking would ensue.  I left the grounds a little disappointed but pleased that the evening sightings at least managed to pick up from those disastrous late afternoon and early evening numbers.

The Missouri State Fair is not going to be an annual mainstay on my fair routine.  I went there last year and did so well that I decided to come back this year.  When I walked in the gate Saturday morning, I wondered if I’d be able to drift away after this year and go to other fairs in subsequent years, such as next year’s plan to go to the Indiana State Fair for the first time.  But as I walked out Saturday night, it struck me that my opening visit and the “12-hour sighting” that came from it was likely a fluke, given that the rest of that day’s haul was mediocre and this year’s was rather mediocre too, and I now feel less guilty about walking away from Missouri next year and going to Indiana.  Perhaps one year I’ll go to Wisconsin’s as well, but that one isn’t really grabbing me as a venue that’s likely to be rich with sightings.  I’ll get to Missouri’s fair again, either in 2018 or more likely 2019, but after two years there I now feel pretty comfortable in saying it doesn’t come close to measuring up to Iowa or Minnesota’s fair despite being a more smoker-friendly state.

I took a very ambitious road trip tour of “smoking belt” states Missouri, Arkansas, Tennessee, Kentucky, and the southern portion of Illinois in the days after this Missouri State Fair trip.  I didn’t get much in the way of sightings, but ironically, after 1,500 miles of driving I stopped at the Best Buy in Des Moines two miles from my place on Tuesday afternoon to get my phone’s keyboard fixed and got my best sighting of the entire trip, a sighting that will come up in my top-10 random sightings list at the end of the year.  Aside from random sightings though, I had an incredible visit with my favorite lady friend in northeast Missouri who chain-smoked the entire time I stayed with her, even posing for some hot smoking pictures for me.

This has been a very weak fair season so far but thankfully I have two weekends at the Minnesota State Fair yet to come.  I know I seem to say this every week in the days before my latest fair visits, but this Saturday looks to be another rainy 60-degree nightmare in Minnesota.  Would it kill Mother Nature to give me a single stress-free forecast leading up to a major fair sightings day and allow just one thing to go unequivocally right this fair season?!?!?


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2016 Iowa State Fair, Day 2

It’s never entirely predictable what days you’re gonna have a demographic of fairgoer helpful to sightings, but there are some days I look at the entertainment lineup and know I could be in for a weak night.  For this year’s midweek encore trip to the Iowa State Fair, my choices were between Wednesday night and Thursday night, both featuring entertainers in the grandstand and free stages that did not seem likely to draw in younger people.  But I figured former Poison lead singer Bret Michaels’ free stage show would be a better option on Wednesday night than anything Thursday had to offer, so I went with Wednesday.  I got off my shuttle bus just before 5:00 on Wednesday and as I walked in the gate with my half-priced late-weekday admission, I didn’t have a good feeling at all about the night and pondered that it might be my worst night ever.  And I ended up not being too far off.  My second day at the 2013 Iowa State Fair (also a Wednesday night) was a calamity as well but that was more of a situation where I had only a handful of extra-base hits all night yet salvaged it with two homeruns that both made my top-15 for the year.  This year I had no homeruns at all but a better haul of extra-base hits.  The real bummer for this trip though was the overall sightings number.  In seven hours of fetishing, I managed only 51 sightings, only one above my all-time low for a night at the Iowa State Fair, and that was back in 2007 when I was probably there an hour and a half less than last night.

But there were some high points to this trip and one girl in particular that should generate some excitement among readers.  I ventured around the grounds past all the tractors participating in the tractor pull and then migrated to the south side where I’d see an attractive 30-ish blond in a white top and jean shorts standing outside a livestock building finishing off a cigarette.  I got to see the last two drags that she hastily attended to before crushing out the butt and heading back into the livestock building.  Sighting #1 was under my belt, and her discarded butt was a Marlboro Light, which seems to be rising in popularity again, although certainly not back to 90s levels.  This gal must have been a farm gal in some capacity because she was around that cattle barn a lot that night.  I’d see her two more times last night, both in the company of a nonsmoking guy, and one other time she was smoking again.

It was a slow slog from there and a good hour passed before the next noteworthy girl.  Sighting #4 could be seen from a good 75 yards away standing in line for a beverage on the concourse decked out in a ball cap, a black tanktop, and white shorts with cowgirl boots on her feet….and a freshly lit cigarette in her left hand as she stood in line.  It was a helluva presentation and I hustled on up to get a better look.  The ponytailed brunette was attractive but appeared older than I originally hoped.  It was hard to tell exactly how old she was because her face appeared early 30s in some glances but younger in others.  I got a rear and a frontal pic and she definitely looks older in the frontal pic.  Whatever the case, her presentation sold me as she then walked across the street to the front of one of the commercial buildings and smoked her cigarette.  I hovered for a bit and observed some drags, which were all fairly average. In a couple of minutes, an unattractive friend who looked much younger (mid 20s) came outside and she then lit up too.  There was no good vantage point so I walked away, hoping for more from this one but also pleased to be getting anything at all with as dead as the night had been thus far.

Moments later as I drifted to the edge of the midway I’d come upon Sighting #5, a sexy brunette seated on a bench smoking alone who I figured was early 20s but later ended up questioning that theory for reasons I’ll get into later.  Again the presentation was spectacular, looking badass with her shoulder-length medium-brown hair with sunglasses and a black tanktop, and an absolutely heartbreaking pair of short acid-washed jean shorts with her smooth, tanned legs crossed.  I got several pics of her but unfortunately never caught her in mid-drag.  The show didn’t feature any major bells and whistles but it was still a treat to watch her smoke the cigarette, dragging at a pretty steady clip as she tended to her phone and releasing smoke in tight exhales in front of her.  A sighting that seemed as cut and dry as they come got a bit more complicated moments later when approaching this brunette was a very hot blond in a bare midriff top and bright blue jean shorts, reaching her hand out to take a drag from the brunette’s cigarette.  Didn’t see that coming as the blond became Sighting #6, taking a single modest drag and then handing it back to the brunette.  I’d have figured the brunette was 22 but this blond looked more like about 19, and I feverishly tried to add the blond in a pic of her own, but only managed one from the rear that didn’t do justice to her.  The brunette soon finished the cigarette, leaning forward to crush it out on the pavement.  I hung by not expecting much more but at least wanted a butt ID.  Instead, two more blonds joined the group, one of them who looked about 16 and the other who looked early 20s.  It was an odd group and confused me whether they were friends all around the same age who just looked like they were a few years apart or if they actually were a few years apart.  They soon took off and unfortunately there were two butts almost right on top of each other so I didn’t know which one my leggy brunette had smoked.  I nonetheless followed for a bit, hoping to see additional tobacco use transpire.  When nothing did after about five minutes, I moved on, really hoping to see more of them later in the night.  I would see them again a couple of hours later but unfortunately without any smoking.  I think a second act from this sighting, particularly if it involved that smoldering hot bare-midriffed blond getting a full smoking performance of her own, would have elevated this one to the caliber of a year-end best list.

It continued to be a slow go.  The south side seating area produced only one sighting last night, another one with great potential that ended up disappointing.  Sighting #9 was this late 20s blond with a great presentation in a pink top and jean shorts smoking next to a nonsmoking husband, but the closer I got I noticed she had really managed to mess up the skin tone on her face, presumably by tanning.  I’m sure as a teenager she was incredibly hot, but she did not hold up well at all here.  It’s too bad too because she was a great smoker, exhaling a monstrous blob of smoke in the direction opposite her nonsmoking man.

Working out a little better way down on the southern end of the fairgrounds was Sighting #13, a young mommy with a toddler who had just lit up.  She was a brunette in a green T-shirt and black shorts who looked mid-20s.  She wasn’t a top-tier beauty by any means but there was something about her utilitarian presentation that was intriguing.  I managed a pretty good photo of her holding but from there the baby daddy showed up and he was smoking too.  They proceeded down the grounds with cigarettes in hand but the brunette soon crushed hers out to save the rest for later.  It was the latest sign that a good clean sighting from beginning to end would keep being elusive for me this year.

This pattern continued as a classic good news/bad news scenario unfolded in the center of the grounds when I came upon this mixed-gender cluster of teens where I saw one of the boys smoking.  I encircled the group and found a chubby and freckly redheaded girl, the least attractive of the four females, with a pack of Marlboro Blacks that she proceeded to stuff into her back pocket.  When I see a girl in possession of cigarettes that I am almost certain are hers, I count it as a sighting, so this girl was officially Sighting #15, but I never actually saw her smoking all night and suspect I narrowly missed her on a couple of occasions.  This teen cluster would continue to tease me and break my heart for the rest of the night unfortunately.

I wouldn’t have long to feel sorry for myself though as I was migrating south and only a couple of minutes later saw this extremely hot dark brunette in a white blouse and incredibly tight navy blue cutoffs extracting an all-white cigarette from her purse and installing it in her lips.  Oh how I’d have loved to get a pic of her light-up but Sighting #17 was too quick.  I’m guessing she was about 24 and had an overflowing quotient of IT factor smoking her cigarette in the presence of a boyfriend I at first presumed was a nonsmoker.  Pretty much immediately, the sighting got active as the smoker girl came across a young girl who looked about six in the presence of an older woman.  I’m very skeptical the girl was her daughter but it’s possible.  The ashtray-mouthed sexpot excitedly greeted the young girl and almost immediately approached one of the fairgrounds police with freshly lit cigarette in hand, almost as if asking if it’s okay if she smokes in the fairgrounds.  She went on to engage in about a minute of friendly banter with this police officer as if they were good friends before chatting it up again with the older woman, the young girl, and her boyfriend/husband, with her being the only smoker of the four.  She held her cigarette up in a bent-elbow pose about even with her shoulder, presumably to avoid torching the little girl with it.  I was feverishly taking photos and thinking I was landing some great ones, even though her drags came fairly slowly.  More later on why my photos didn’t quite like up to expectations…..

The group hovered for a couple of minutes before they started drifting into the midway.  I followed, continuing to snap photos and enjoying this girl’s presentation which practically dripped with sex appeal, and never more than when she took a drag from her cigarette.  Slowly paced as they were, she nailed the drags and especially the delayed exhales, where smoke hung out inside her black lungs for a good 7-8 seconds on a couple of occasions before I watched her tilt her head up to exhale a nice stream into the early evening sky.  I was taking plenty of risks here and especially when the group started a stop-and-go routine in the midway, always forcing me to stay on my toes to not get busted and moving away out of sight on occasion.  At one point I did this and she no longer had the cigarette when my eyes caught back up with her, but then I noticed a two-thirds smoked cigarette in the hand of the boyfriend/husband and it took the wind out of my sail a little bit as I hoped she was the only smoker of the group.  I nonetheless walked away figuring this would likely be my best sighting of the night, but thankfully for me this girl was far from done.  As for all those photos I had gotten, it was approaching sunset and for whatever reason there was a dark shadow hovering in this location for all of my pics.  Most of them turned out enough to see her, but none of them are vibrant enough to fully appreciate her.  If there’s a way to brighten these photos after they’re taken on either my phone or my computer I’m not aware of it, so I’m afraid I’m stuck with darker photos of her.

It was almost 8:00 by now and I was finally getting some momentum that would continue as I approached the seating area outside the grandstand and came upon Sighting #20, a ponytailed 20-something blond who appeared to work in the grandstand and was out on a smoke break.  She wore this “#girlboss” ball cap with her long blond hair coming out the back in a ponytail, with a black tanktop and white shorts completing the ensemble.  She was standing there talking to a group of older people she clearly knew, two of the three of whom were also smoking.  The bench next to them was open and I got two great photos, one of her in mid-drag.  She was a great smoker with nice long drags of the eye-squinting variety and cloudy exhales that were sent out of her respiratory system in my general direction.  She was decently attractive but didn’t have the glowing beauty of the previous brunette, although impressed just as much presentation wise between the white shorts and the front-row seat to her smoking show.  The older people were talking about their vacation plans and the girl was congratulating them on their travels and expressing some jealousy that she didn’t get to go with.  I watched her smoke most of the cigarette before she dropped it to the pavement and crushed it out.  I returned moments later after the group had left and IDed her butt as a Marlboro Light Special Blend.

Minutes later, I’d score again as I was heading to the northwest side of the grounds and saw out of the corner of my eye from behind that Sighting #21, another blond cutie in her early 20s in a black tanktop and red shorts, was lighting up a cigarette amidst a nonsmoking family group that included a couple of children.  I was feverishly snapping pics and thinking I was really nailing some, knowing that because of the approaching sunset that some wouldn’t turn out.  Unfortunately, the family was on their way out of the fair and approaching the exit, but I figured I had another 30 seconds before they were out and watched the blond smoker in the presence of a 10ish boy in the family group and exposing him to her cancerous secondhand fumes.  Then she hung back for a bit to smoke and was really putting on a nice show.  I sat on an open bench near the exit and was snapping stealth pics, believing I was really nailing a couple of them as she proceeded towards the exit and left the grounds.  Imagine my horror as I checked my phone and noticed that only two of the seven or so pics I attempted actually took, and only one that was even passable.  It was one more frustration to a night (and fair season in general) that was full of them.  With that said, I had a solid string of extra-base hits going and even though I was significantly behind schedule, figured a halfway decent night may yet be salvageable.

From there, it was off to the east side of the grounds where I wanted to catch some of the concert by 90s country singer Marty Stuart.  On my way there, I got the briefest of sightings from Sighting #23, a well-tanned blond with braided pigtails, a hot pink, bare-midriffed blouse and acid-washed light blue jean shorts.  It was an incredible presentation and I saw a cigarette in her hand as I approached.  Despite two guys hovering in the general area, I managed to time a pic perfectly and this one actually turned out….but what didn’t is that the cigarette that was in her hand as I first noticed her no longer was.  She stood up and approached the thuggish-looking early 20s guys and I looked down to where she sat to find an only one-third smoked Camel Light Menthol butt lying on the pavement smoldering.  Grrrr!  I’d see this girl a couple more times that night in the presence of the same thuggish guys.  The guys always seemed to be smoking but she never was.

From there it was off to the Susan Knapp Amphitheater for Marty Stuart.  I’ve always been a fan of his even though I knew he probably wouldn’t be a big draw for younger people.  Still, imagine my disappointment when I get to the show and pretty much see nothing but Rascals and Hoverrounds and senior citizens as far as the eye can see.  Am I that damn old that I like the same guy that these people do?!?!?  Much as I’d have liked to listen to Marty, there was no way I’d sacrifice an hour and a half of sightings time in a place like this where I’d almost assuredly get no sightings.  I walked away and would only briefly return at the very end of the show.  In the meantime, it was time to check out the other washed-up old-timer performing on the free stages tonight..Bret Michaels of Poison who was clear over at the out-in-the-boondocks Bud Light Stage in the southwest corner of the grounds.  I hate this stage because it’s so far from anything else on the fairgrounds but ventured down there to find a good-sized crowd for Michaels as I figured there would be.  I knew the crowd would likely skew older but also figured there might be a younger crowd who nonetheless dug that 80s-era rock or got into it because their parents were.  There didn’t seem to be much evidence of that as the crowd was decidedly middle-aged.  It was a younger crowd than Marty Stuart was drawing to be sure but in the 15 minutes or so I spent encircling the crowd, I didn’t see much hope for sightings of young hotties and managed only one modest sighting while there.  If this stage wasn’t a three-blocks-each-way walk from any other part of the fairgrounds that had a pulse, I’d have spent more time here, but I had to abort.

When I got back to the concourse, I’d have another weird heartbreaker as I came upon the same mixed-gender group of 17-year-olds where I saw the redhead with the pack of Marlboro Blacks earlier.  I approached from behind and laid my eyes on this 17ish long-haired brunette in a red top and tight pale blue jeans.  I saw a burst of smoke erupt from her face and then saw her drop a butt to the pavement and stomp it out.  Noooo!  Obviously that was enough to count her as Sighting #30, but I wanted so much more out of the first and perhaps only teen cutie I’d see smoking at the entire Iowa State Fair.  I hovered in the general area for a couple of minutes and then made out that she had another cork-filter cigarette in her hand, albeit unlit, with only about three remaining drags worth of tobacco left to smoke.  The thought crossed my mind that she may have had pot in there but that didn’t make sense in a filtered cigarette, so I figured it had to be one of the friend’s Marlboro Blacks that she was preparing to smoke more of.  I excitedly followed as their group drifted, but it was clear that this girl and another cutiepie teen friend were wandering separately on their own, at one point breaking apart for good.  I followed and watched this girl hold the cigarette between her fingers as she walked as if the thing was lit and she was smoking it, but she just kept walking.  I figured maybe she was looking for someone with a lighter to help her ignite the thing, and thus got excited when she came across the redhead with the pack of Marlboro Blacks in her back pocket, thinking she’d be the source of the light needed to get this show moving.  But they just kept walking together, eventually chatting with a couple of older people they seemed to know.  I probably wasted 15 minutes on them before I lost them and finally decided to just give up.  It was so frustrating, and about a half hour later I’d see this same group, saw one puff of smoke from the middle of the crowd as I approached, and got there to find my two favorite teens walking away again.  That’s all I’d get from them, aside from a blurry after-dark rear pic that at least shows off how nice her ass looks in those tight jeans.  Fetishing has rarely been as big of a logistical struggle for me as it’s been this fair season.

I would get some relief from this frustration though with an encore performance from the evening’s star player as a cluster of two young guys and gals were walking west down the concourse, two of whom were wielding cigarettes.  It was that dark brunette (Sighting #17) in the tight navy blue cutoffs previously seen exposing cops and small children to her carcinogenic trail of death.  She was such a sight for sore eyes and I had an open path to follow her this time.  As we walked, the reasonably attractive mid-20s blond in their group produced a cigarette of her own and became Sighting #32.  The brunette had to give the blond her cigarette which the blond used to bring her own cigarette to life before passing it back to the brunette.  Once again, the brunette was a slow smoker, which is always frustrating but her drags were so natural and her exhales so rewarding after her considerable hold times that it more than made the wait worthwhile.  The blond was a mediocre smoker which made it easier to keep my eyes glued on this brunette and savor the aura of hotness and tobacco stench she was radiating.  I made sure I kept close enough tabs on her to see when she dropped her cigarette to the pavement so I could ID the butt of the evening’s lone star.  It was a Marlboro Light.

Another brief but satisfying sighting came as I progressed in the direction of the midway and saw this young couple where a white guy and a very dark-complected brunette girlfriend who had to have been at least partially Hispanic given her features emerged from the darkness.  He wasn’t smoking but she was.  I did a 18o-degree pivot and followed my Sighting #34 girl, a very unlikely mid-20s smoker girl in her utilitarian T-shirt and jeans who had an IT factor to her.  She took two drags as she and the boyfriend progressed to the gate of the grandstand where the tractor pull was going on.  Before walking in, she regrettably dropped the not-even-half-smoked all white to the pavement (Camel Light Menthol), but she and the boyfriend were only in there about 10 seconds before meeting whoever they were waiting for and then came back out.  I got a pretty good look at her and she had a really exotic beauty to her, with features more indicative of South American heritage than Mexican.  She had no ethnic accent at all though and said “I’m gonna get a corn dog and head right over there” to the friends.  Definitely wished I’d have seen more smoking from her but very cool that a girl of this pedigree smokes at all.

And despite the general mediocrity of the night, I managed just enough extra base hits to keep my morale from ever sinking too low.  The next came as I was heading to the south side and ran into a young couple with unlit cigarettes dangling from their mouths right at the manned gates that allow livestock trucks in and out.  I immediately took notice of Sighting #36, the 22ish auburn-haired chick in a blue top and jean shorts dangling her unlit cork filter and then noticed they were stopped by the middle-aged guy who was manning the gate and asked for a light.  After they lit him up, they proceeded northward and finally got around to lighting their own cigarettes.  The guy was a wimpy-looking metrosexual who seemed a very unlikely fit for this rough-around-the-edges girl, who seemed very much like a long-time heavy smoker and quickly began acting even more like one after being lit up, engaging in multiple no-purpose dangles that lasted 15-20 seconds at a time while walking forward.  Her exhales weren’t necessarily exceptional but those dangles were exactly the stylistic flair the evening needed.  There’s always background music of some sort playing at the state fair and this girl proceeded to dance along as she walked, often in mid-dangle, and definitely had a lot of youthful energy to burn.  The couple progressed to the midway and I followed, at one point getting into a conversation with the 21ish girl who was working the face painting booth at the fair, someone who oddly came up for the backdrop of another sighting about an hour later.  The cigarette was starting to get short but even with just a pinch of tobacco left the girl still managed one final no-purpose dangle of the stub before walking onward into the midway with the boyfriend.  She quickly dropped the cork filter butt to the ground, and far as I can tell by the markings on the butt I suspect it’s a Marlboro No. 27.

And lest you might have forgotten, there was a dark brunette hottie lurking on these grounds who seemed to have a cigarette every time I laid eyes on here.  Thankfully that streak would continue as I headed to the east side of the grounds and saw the two sets of young couples emerging from the east side beer gardens, with the brunette lighting up her third cigarette that I had witnessed on the night.  It was, again, a struggle to keep tabs on her given that she was immersed in this cluster of four and smoked so slowly, but I guess I can’t hold her slow smoking against her too badly when you factor in that she seems to have a lit cigarette in her hand or mouth basically nonstop.  Thankfully, they settled at an empty table between two bars at the main beer gardens and the two guys and the brunette puffed away there.  As usual, there was no good place for me to observe this and I was forced to walk in a semicircle on the concourse to catch a couple of her drags, the latter of which produced a honey of a cloudy, skyward-direct exhale.  Having seen three cigarettes from this girl last night, I was making mental comparisons of the star sighting of last year’s Iowa State Fair, the white-dressed dangling drag queen from the double mother-daughter sighting who attended the Alabama concert.  This year’s girl absolutely had the star power to rival her, but lacked the stylistic excesses of the dangling dragger, plus I just couldn’t get close enough to her for an extended front-row-seat sighting.

The midway is not normally a hotbed for sightings but it saved me the last two hours Wednesday night as a half hour later I’d score again with Sighting #41, featuring another young couple in their early to mid 20s both entering the midway wielding cigarettes.  The girl really gave off a wholesome aura and, unlike the previous hard-core hottie, didn’t seem like a smoker at all with her long dark blond hair in a ponytail wearing a white top and black shorts.  There were no lengthy no-purpose dangles from this girl but she attended to her cigarette regularly and released some of the most impressively cloudy exhales of the night.  I thought with the bright lights of the midway, I could score a couple of decent photos but they were a blurry mess.  As quickly as she smoked it didn’t take her long to finish off the cigarette, dropping it to the pavement and progressing on with her boyfriend.  The discarded butt was a Marlboro Light.

The concerts were long ago over and in some previous weeknights at the fair, this meant a crowd dying down to next to nothing around 10:30. There was some of that last night, but nothing like 2013 and 2014 where 11:00 came and you could shoot a cannon through the fairgrounds and not hit anybody, and I was grateful for every bit of humanity I could clutch onto in hopes of propping up my lackluster numbers even just a little.  I was slowly plugging my way towards a number that wasn’t too embarrassing and, as I said before, the midway was my saving grace and really delivered at around 11:15 when I saw a teen girl about 17 or 18 who clearly worked somewhere in the midway was finished with work for the evening and digging through her bag.  Amazingly, a pack of Newports was produced, and the pitch darkness in the location was soon illuminated as she fired up a cigarette.  Sighting #46 was without question the youngest girl I’d seen smoking at the Iowa State Fair in 2016 and as she stepped into a better lit area I was able to get a closer look at her.  She was a total cutie, a light brunette with a ponytail and just a touch of baby fat chub hidden underneath a white top and a black pair of those dreadful athletic shorts that have unfortunately caught on in recent years.  Since she was working though, I didn’t hold it against her….and being the only bona fide teen smoker I’d seen at the fair this year didn’t hurt either.  She suddenly sprinted up to a couple of guys running some trinket stand at the edge of the concourse…

As was the case far too frequently, I couldn’t get a good vantage point, particularly when she sat down at the curb to tend to her cigarette.  There was a wide open bench not far away that seemed promising but when I sat there, I discovered a garbage can was directly obstructing my view.  Grrr!  I now had to stand on the curb conspicuously in this emptying fairgrounds and dart my eyes her way to see her smoking.  I only got to see a couple of drags, and both the drags and exhales were modest as you might expect.  Still, the youthful innocence on this face consuming this cigarette was something I’ve been hoping to see all fair season.  I’m guessing she was probably onto me, but there was no terribly awkward eye contact even though she walked across the street to finish the cigarette.  Suddenly the cigarette was just gone and she was coming back over to her friends at the trinket stand reeking of fresh tobacco.  I bided my time and then went over to see if I could find that butt and confirm it was a Newport.  It was too dark and I could not.  In the moments ahead, I made distant passes just to get a final image of that adorably wholesome teen smoker face, a face that was worthy of end-of-year acclaim even though I probably didn’t see enough actual smoking to qualify.  Last year, at the very end of the Iowa State Fair, I scored another great teen smoking sighting, although I got to see much more of that one and it had a much better storyline.  As gratifying as this was to see, it pales in comparison to last year’s teen babe smoking with “cousin Lisa”.

Within the next 10 minutes, the midway delivered some more in the final moments before it shut down for the evening.  I was following a modestly attractive blond smoking as she walked into the midway when I came upon that same nonsmoking 21-ish blond from the face painting stand recently talking to another young smoker as she passed by.  Well now she was immersed in conversation with another duo of 21ish smokers, a blond and brunette who I had seen earlier on the grounds and was elated to see they were smoking.  The Sighting #48 blond had the most immediate visual draw in her pink top and dark blue jeans, but on closer inspection the Sighting #49 brunette was the prettier of the two.  Her tender features made her look about 19 with her long dark brown hair flowing onto the shoulders of her black top with her perfect lower body outlined in a pair of tightly hugging black leggings.  For once, I managed to find a bench nearby that provided me a great vantage point of this image and was able to see both girls attending to their cigarettes while chatting to the face-painting blond as their boyfriends lurked in the background chatting with others.  The blond finished her cigarette first but my eyes were trained on this brunette who was just adorable, taking longer and more indulgent drags and releasing quality exhales.  Her cigarette lasted her a good two minutes longer before she dropped it near where the blond had dropped hers.  When they didn’t leave I did a final jaunt through the closing-down midway and then returned to discover both of their cigarettes were cork filter L & Ms.

It was 11:30 now and this fair was very close to calling it a night, the crowd hollowing out to the same degree I remembered from past Wednesday nights.  My feet were really starting hurt, but not for the same reasons as Saturday night when new shoes were giving me blisters.  I went back to my old shoes with the worn-down heels for this trip and the pain was now in my ankles because of the crooked steps brought on by the uneven heels, so I’m really in a pickle on how to proceed for my next three all-day excursions to state fairs since both sets of shoes are proving painful in their own way for me.  Anyway, I was making a final pass down the concourse and past The Depot in hopes of buffeting my numbers up a couple.  I didn’t get a new sighting as I walked past The Depot but I did see an old favorite…..my dark brunette sexpot in the tight navy blue cutoffs….and she was smoking AGAIN!  This was her fourth cigarette of the night that I saw, which basically amounted to every time I saw her.  It made me wonder if she was smoking nonstop through the night or if I was just catching her every time she was smoking.  I found the nearest bench and took a quick gander but, as usual, there always seemed to be someone hovering in front of her and preventing me from getting a good view and I was standing out like a sore thumb on these empty grounds, which wasn’t good since this group had undoubtedly noticed my presence a number of times earlier in the night.  I was excited that I got to see so much smoking from her and was able to walk away from this decidedly below-average night at the fair with one superstar.

On the final two-block walk to the bus stop, I did manage a final sighting as a guy opened up a pack of Marlboro Reds and passed one to a mid-20s blond walking next to him.  Again, the positioning made it impossible to hover so I just kept walking to my shuttle bus, where I was one of three passengers on this dead weeknight at the fair.  I’ve frequently mentioned the 2013 Iowa State Fair in this writeup as the trajectory of both days, especially the midweek evening second visits, was similar, and it turns out the comparison was prescient right to the end as I wrapped up the 2016 State Fair with 175 sightings, the same number as 2013.  By comparison, last year’s impressive Thursday night haul combined with Saturday’s yielded me 211 sightings, meaning I’m down a substantial 17% this year.  And there were four sightings last year that I would rate as better than anything that came this year, reinforcing my impression that the 2016 Iowa State Fair was an overall disappointment.  And when I remember the three extraordinary days at the 2014 Iowa State Fair it really seems like a lifetime ago.

I have a lot of catching up to do in my final three days of the 2016 fair circuit.  What’s the prognosis for this year’s Missouri State Fair?  The forecast is increasingly indicating a rainy, 60-degree nightmare, but the possible upside is an evening Lady Antebellum concert which should draw a decent crowd with potentially favorable demographics.  Of course if the smoker hotties are decked out in hoodies and baggie sweatpants to contend with the October weather in August, it’ll lose some effect but it’s about all I have to cling to right now.  Last year’s Missouri State Fair forecast called for a cold rain as well but ended up being sunny and 90 so there’s precedent for salvaging a decent day and hopefully the entire mediocre-thus-far fair season.

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2016 Iowa State Fair, Day 1

There are some days fetishing at the fairs that don’t come together, and this was one of them.  My fear is that with smoking in decline, diminishing returns of quality sightings will become the new normal but I’m not blaming yesterday specifically on that.  I’ve come to expect days at the fair that produce sightings with great storylines or from girls who simply radiate IT factor, but some days you just don’t get those or else you’re late to the party and only catch the tail end of a sighting from a girl with star power.  I can’t really complain about the numerical bounty on August 13, 2016, as I scored 124 sightings during the 12 1/2 hours I was there, two more than last year’s first day at the ISF and that was an above-average haul in itself.  But there were some physical obstacles undermining especially the evening hours for me and the complete dearth of sightings of girls under 21 smoking is very troubling, making me worry that smoking among women under 30 is poised to really go off a waterfall in a few short years unless there are an unlikely number of late starters.  It all made for a day that was mostly a downer.  But there were high points worth reading so let’s get started….

I got to the shuttle bus loading zone around 10:45.  Each year there seems to be exponential growth in the crowds here.  There wasn’t a place to park within two blocks of where the buses load and the standing line for tickets went around the corner halfway down the next block, at least twice as large as the previous record-sized line I experienced last year.  Luckily, I came prepared and had purchased a bus ticket the day before, allowing me to leapfrog at least 300 people and get on the next shuttle bus, probably saving me more than an hour in line.  I got to the fairgrounds about 11:15 and morale was  high as I stepped off my bus with completely sunny skies and temps in the mid-80s.  Full sun is great for morale at the beginning of the day but it’s a different story at the end of the day when you’re a lobster radiating body heat and covered in sweat.  But it was before noon and my spirits were high as I made my first pass of the grounds for 2016.

My first sighting of the day was a fairly trashy early 30s gal at the nexus of the midway and the beer gardens, an area that’s always the source of sightings and this year would be no exception.  I saw a fair amount of smoking early on in the morning but distressingly little among young females in that first 45 minutes or so.  Sighting #2 broke the stalemate a few yards to the west of the first sighting and was a late 20s looking brunette in a black dress who was decently attractive.  The dynamic was odd as she was in the presence of a cute teenage blond and a younger boy who was hanging on to her as if she was his mother, but she definitely didn’t look old enough to be the mother of the blond girl.  I suppose it’s possible that she was. I stopped for a moment to watch her smoking before moving on.

The same area at the edge of the beer gardens and the midway produced Sighting #3 and Sighting #4 moments apart.  Sighting #3 was a mother-daughter sighting with a middle-aged mom and a brunette daughter who appeared late 20s who had a nice body draped in a T-shirt and form-fitting black leggings.  When I stood back to watch this sighting play out, I was instead distracted by Sighting #4, a cute and slender early 20s brunette with her hair propped up in a headband, wearing a bare-midriff white top revealing her well-toned belly just above a pair of skimpy jean shorts.  She wasn’t a classic beauty but she was cute…and apparently a mother and her group included two guys and a stroller with a small child.  The girl and one of the guys were smoking and I got two pics, one fairly decent of her even though she wasn’t smoking in it.  The other pic didn’t turn out.  I stepped back to admire the show and caught a little bit of her and the mother-daughter combo in tandem.  Nothing about any of the women’s smoking stood out but it was definitely nice to see two hotties smoking at once.

Sighting #6 was an odd one.  This 30ish blond in a tanktop and jean shorts was walking away from the main beer gardens with a freshly lit cigarette in hand, possessing a fair degree of IT factor even though she defiled her upper back with a tattoo that was very clear in the tanktop.  Not sure what it was about her but she intrigued me, and even more so when she started walking around with her camera phone and taking random photos, perhaps of the crowd.  It felt weirder than ever following her around and trying to take pics of her as she took pics of others.  I never really did get a great pic of her but at one point she went between the buildings and tended to her cigarette.  A decent performance but she was still only a single-base hit and not quite worthy of the early buzz.

The same area at the nexus of the beer gardens and the midway produced another sighting soon thereafter with Sighting #11, a petite blond girl with braided pigtails, nerdy glasses, and short pale blue jean shorts with lace lining who sat atop a bench smoking a cigarette with her boyfriend.  Approaching from afar, this girl’s presentation made her look about 14 but I could tell by her face she was more like early to mid 20s.  She wasn’t a classic beauty by any means but there was a cuteness about her even aside from the girly girl presentation.  I took a daring close-up photo and then hovered back to enjoy the rest of the show.   Again, no major stylistic flourishes but it was a cute dynamic with the girl seated atop this perch smoking while the boyfriend stood in front of her.  They finished their cigarettes and then got up to leave as I did soon thereafter.

The next extra-base hit was a first-time phenomenon for me in 11 years of attending the Iowa State Fair…..a repeater from last year.  Now it may well be true that I’ve come across girls who I’ve seen from previous years without realizing it, but the second I laid eyes on Sighting #13 standing behind some food stands, I knew exactly who she was.  Last year, on my second day at the Iowa State Fair, I saw a brunette in leggings with a “cute nerd” presentation in a mixed-gender group and got to watch and take a few pics of her smoking a cigarette.  This time she was in the presence of only one female friend but was once again killing it in the presentation department, wearing a white tanktop with silver sparkles and a pair of sexy hot pink shorts on her bottom.  I’d guess she’s about 23 and give the girl credit for such a consistently sexy presentation and killer body as she’s not a conventional beauty and her glasses really add to her “nerd” factor.  I got the sense right away that she was probably about to smoke and she didn’t disappoint, opening her bag and removing an all-white cigarette from a pack I didn’t see.  She lit up and began smoking, her overweight and unattractive friend not partaking in doing long-term damage to her respiratory system.  I got a handful of fairly close-up pics, including one of her in mid-drag, making her one of a very select few girls I have sets of photos from different days wearing different outfits.  She made quick work of the cigarette and it was a speedy show as she took well-timed drags with nice, steady exhales mostly from her mouth, a style exactly as I remembered it from last August.  I was close enough to see her cigarette was an all-white but unfortunately that’s the closest I’d come to a butt ID as she crushed it out on the pavement and then approached a garbage can to toss it.  I walked over to the trash can to see if I could find an all-white butt but didn’t see any as I peered in.  Last year, she smoked Camel Crushes.  It was the best show so far of the day and I felt a touch of momentum as I walked away.

The early afternoon hours rarely produce a steady litany of sightings and yesterday was no exception, with lengthy spans between some sightings.  One of the more intriguing dynamics I came across yesterday was Sighting #16, a family seated in the grass towards the center of the grounds that included a middle-aged mother and father, a daughter and presumably her boyfriend, and then a baby in the stroller.  Only mother and daughter had cigarettes in hand which was pretty hot on a day with an undeniable male smoking gap.  Unfortunately, the mid-20s brunette daughter in a bluish blouse and tan shorts was not attending to her cigarette because she had another priority, gulping water from some sort of backpack water tank I had never seen before.  I’d have preferred to see her smoking, but watching her stick that spout in her mouth and gulp away at the water as if siphoning gas was a unique sight in its own right.  I got a couple of modest pics and hovered for a couple of minutes hoping to see her smoke, but she never got around to taking a puff from the freshly lit cigarette so I finally gave up and walked away.  She definitely would have needed to relight that thing after such a lengthy pause.

I took my first pass of the day through the midway in a bit and when I came across this mid-20s hipster-esque dude complete with a handle-bar mustache holding an unlit cigarette in the presence of his hot blond girlfriend, I decided to follow.  I was especially excited when they exited the midway through a side exit and wandered to an open space behind a truck.  Sure enough, the ponytailed blond hottie in a white top with black shorts opened her purse and took out a pack of Marlboro Menthols.  I stood by and watched the two of them light up.  I took a couple of pics but nothing too upclose, and unfortunately sensed that I was noticed, forcing me to back off and watch from a more discreet location where I couldn’t see as much.  This took a fair amount away from the sighting since her back was to me.  I stuck around until she finished and then approached the cigarette to confirm it was a Marlboro Menthol.  The sighting could have been more but she was still one of the prettier faces of the early afternoon with a cigarette hanging out of it.

Back to the edge of the midway again, I sadly wouldn’t get much from Sighting #21 but in the three seconds her sighting lasted she made a helluva impression.  I had just laid eyes on this mid-20s ponytailed light brunette in sunglasses wearing a black top and pink shorts when she was taking the final drag from an all-white cigarette, then releasing a gigantic exhale before flinging the butt in front of her.  She was apparently a young mommy in the presence of her nonsmoking husband and a boy who looked about six.  She asked them to wait for her when she went to the bathroom and they did.  I daringly waited right next to them and stood there with my camera ready to get a pic of mom as she walked back, and pulled it off.  She wasn’t a classic beauty or anything but she was a sexy young smoker mom and the gal responsible for that extreme final drag was worthy of a pic.  Her discarded butt by the way was a Camel Light Menthol.

The east side beer gardens area has in recent years become very productive and so it was again this Saturday.  Standing on a grassy area near a commercial exhibits building were three guys and two girls, all in their mid-20s.  The two females appeared to be the only smokers.  Sightings #24 and #25 were both blond but one significantly outshone the other, decked out in a black tanktop and leggings with her blond hair in a bushy ponytail.  The other blond wore a light green tanktop and jean shorts.  Unfortunately, I could really only watch standing behind the more attractive blond and was not having a great deal of success visualizing the smoking.  I’d see a few drags from a side angle but nothing overly memorable.  I wish I had seen her later in the day because she was worthy of a more substantive writeup.

Moments later, I was approaching the seating area on the south side of the grounds and from behind saw a 20-something blond who I immediately sensed something special about and was eager to encircle the berm to get a frontal look at her on the off chance she was smoking….and I’ll be damned…she was.  Better yet she was in the presence of a nonsmoking boyfriend with a bushy hairdo who didn’t seem quite worthy of her.  Sighting #26 was a classic beauty, about 22 with her dark blond hair flowing onto her short summer dress and she sat Indian style with a half-smoked cork filter cigarette between her fingers.  There was an open bench across from her and I readied my camera for pics, never getting her in mid-drag but getting her as she approached the cigarette to her mouth one time.  It was just wondrous seeing such a wholesome face consuming the carcinogens from a cigarette in such close proximity to a nonsmoking boyfriend putting up with her filthy habit and stench.  This sighting had the makings of my favorite sighting of the day….until after only the third drag I was witness to she leaned down to crush out the cigarette behind the berm and she and the boyfriend got up to walk away.  Nooooo!  I would follow them a bit and snap a few pics from behind just to capture her image in her wholesome blue minidress radiating sunshine as she progressed through the fair with the fresh stench of cigarette clinging to her.  I prayed I’d see these two again before day’s end but I never did, and the show was so brief that I’m afraid she’s unlikely to make any year-end list.  She was the only girl I saw smoking yesterday who had the makings of a top-tier Hall of Famer and I was glad for even an abbreviated show, but given how mediocre things were most of the day yesterday a moment of greatness from her would have really catapulted the stock of the entire day if her sighting had been more comprehensive.

I’d “sort of” hit pay dirt for the second time a bit later with Sighting #29, this sexy mid-20s light brunette in a white tanktop and jean shorts and badass sunglasses sitting on a bench in front of the beer gardens with her boyfriend.  The second I laid eyes on her she was smoking a cigarette and taking a pretty solid drag with a heavy exhale….right before handing the cigarette to the boyfriend.  Noooo!  Seconds later, another young couple saw them and greeted them.  The boyfriend finished off the cigarette and I wouldn’t get anything more.  The girl had some serious IT factor and oozed sex appeal, but that one drag was all I would get…besides a couple of decent pics I snapped.  The boyfriend finished the cigarette and the four of them walked off.  I identified the butt as a Newport before moving on myself.  Missed opportunities were the theme of the day yesterday, with bad timing reducing would-be extra-base hits to singles and reducing homeruns to mere doubles.

My timing would be a little better on the west side of the grounds a bit later when I came across a large mixed-gender huddle and could see a few cigarettes amongst them, two of them in the hands of the early to mid 20s females who would be Sightings #32 and #33.  One of the girls got all of my attention though, a hot long-haired brunette in a black tanktop and jean shorts that were a vibrant hue of blue who cut a very sexy profile.  Unfortunately, her cigarette was already mostly just a stub so there wouldn’t be a ton of smoking to enjoy here either.  I managed three pretty good pics, one of her in mid-drag and she actually got a few more drags that I expected she would of the mostly smoked cigarette.  No bells and whistles at all to her style but what a sexy face to be a smoker, especially while immersed in conversation with two other nonsmoking girls.  She dropped the cigarette to the ground and before long the whole group of about eight walked off.  I walked up to ID her butt as a Marlboro 27.  Even if my timing wasn’t great with these sightings, I was at least taking solace that the caliber of smoker girls seemed to be improving.

The sightings were coming at a faster clip and near a bathroom on the horse building I spotted an attractive young black couple with a baby in a stroller both smoking.  The mother (Sighting #41) wore a nice tanktop and jean shorts and made for an unusual and welcome presence at the generally lily white Iowa State Fair….an attractive young black couple with a child partaking in a cigarette.  They were standing all by themselves so I was unable to linger without standing out like a sore thumb.

Far on the south end of the grounds came Sighting #43.  This family had just entered the gate and one of the two early 20s daughters already had an unlit cigarette ready to go.  She was a tad chubby but still had a decent cowgirl presentation in her black tanktop and jean shorts with cowgirl boots.  The daughter had to nudge mom for her lighter and then sparked up.  It was refreshing to see this daughter naturally and unapologetically banter with the family with cigarette in hand as they entered the Iowa State Fair.  I sure wish there were more families of this caliber.  Later in the day, I’d see this family again, and this time dad was smoking and the same daughter was smoking again.

For all of my bad timing yesterday, I caught a break as I was heading up the hill on the east side of the grounds when I spotted two young hotties in jean shorts pushing a stroller down a remote pathway, also in the presence of a young boy who looked about seven, one of the young women with cigarette in hand.  I hustled on up and caught up to them.  Only one of them was smoking and, regrettably, both had defiled themselves with tattoos on the arms and legs.  Sighting #46 even had a couple less than flattering facial piercings, managing to undermine her own impressive facial beauty and her spectacular body, but there was something about this girl that I still found sexy despite her best efforts to ruin it.  She had a pretty face with her light brown hair up in an adorable little ponytail, her body advertised perfectly with a black strap shirt and a nice-fitting pair of tight jean shorts with great legs coming out underneath.  She was a good smoker too, taking well-paced drags and exhaling some nice toxic clouds that I was able to walk through as I snapped a few modest pics.  I’m quite certain the young boy was not hers and he seemed to old to be the friend’s kid either.  Anyway, the group was heading to a commercial building on the east side of the grounds and the smoker finished her cigarette, crushing out whatever cork filter brand it was in a spot close enough to the beer gardens where there were a lot of cigarette butts, meaning I couldn’t identify which was hers.  I just might be seeing this girl again with some additional context later in the writeup.

For all of my timing issues and lack of storylines yesterday, I managed to be in the right place at the right time on a couple of occasions, including for Sighting #53, an all-female family of smokers sighting at the edge of the midway where one of the daughters was probably my youngest sighting of the day, although even she was probably 19 or 20 rather than underage.  The younger girl was also the first to light up, approaching the wall to take a smoke break ahead of the mother, the overweight and unattractive presumed sister, and what I assume was the sister’s daughter who looked about eight years old.  The younger smoker was a dark brunette showing a lot of flesh in her gray tanktop and black cutoff shorts, lighting up her cigarette which I could tell by its distinctive blond filter was a Camel Turkish Royal.  She wasn’t drop dead gorgeous but stood out as the girl-next-door-esque beauty of this group. I sat across from them in a fairly awkward location and was probably noticed and suspected as I stealthly snapped a handful of pics but there were no obvious signs I was about to be busted as I watched the girl smoke naturally and nicely with steady drags and thin exhales mostly from the mouth.  The girl was decently attractive compared to the gene pool but what I liked best of this sighting was the family dynamic, with the young child hovering closeby as three females smoked in her presence, setting the kind of example that fewer and fewer children get this day and age.  Plus the younger smoker daughter had one more great trick up her sleeve as halfway through the show she lifted her knees up and positioned her bare legs in an upside-down V position, basically allowing me a peep show of her ass dimples up her shorts.  Adorably, there was some dirt on the under side of her calves after she lifted them from the pavement.  I watched the daughter crush out the Camel Turkish Royal onto the cement, the first of the three ladies to finish her cigarette, and then I took the opportunity to get a closer look at another sighting taking place a few yards away that I had spotted.  I returned when the family got up to leave and confirmed the daughter’s discarded brand was indeed a Camel Turkish Royal.  There was enough going on in this sighting to make it my second favorite of the day, and it had a nice little addendum less than an hour later when I saw the same three ladies sitting on the curb again, my 20ish brunette taking the last drag from another Camel Turkish Royal before crushing it out.

From there it was back to the south side seating area, a place that robbed me out of greatness more than once yesterday with the tail end of would-be classic sightings.  The latest example was Sighting #57, a duo of late 20s females standing next to the water fountains.  The brunette was overweight and unattractive but the dark blond friend was a bona fide hottie, in sunglasses like so many other gals yesterday with a pale pink blouse and a pair of sexy and tight medium blue jeans.  I even have an odd celebrity comparison with this one…..”Good Morning America” co-host Amy Roebuck.  Unfortunately, I’d get there in time to snap one blurry pic and see one final drag before she crushed out the cigarette and the women moved on.  The discarded cigarette was an L & M Menthol.  Unfortunately that was the entire daily haul yesterday from the south side seating area….two hot blonds (#26 and #57) capable of greatness whose cigarettes I only caught the tail end of.

My timing was better as I headed to the east side beer gardens from there and caught my sighting of the day.  There were few memorably wholesome smoker girl faces yesterday but as I encircled the bar’s entryway I laid eyes on this early to mid 20s beaming blond  with the face of an angel wearing a baseball cap with her hair coming out the back in a ponytail, decked out below the neck in a gray top and black shorts with the shiniest, most perfect pair of long tanned legs coming out the bottom.  She was with two guys and I noticed both were smoking.  Blondie was sans a cigarette thus far but just as I was beginning my prayer that she would be a smoker too, the heavens answered as she opened a pack of Marlboro Lights and extracted one.  I frantically readied my camera phone to get a pic of the lightup and luckily she was slower to the draw than I was as I clicked my phone as the exact moment she clicked her lighter, bringing her cigarette to life and officially becoming Sighting #60.  I took a couple more pics of her dragging and got what were easily my best pics of the day before deciding to just hang back and watch the show.  On a day with so few genuine rewards, it was a tremendous pleasure to watch that cigarette inserted in her mouth followed by a nice deep drag, her eyes squinting with pleasure as she filled her insides with poisons.  Her exhales originally seemed to be more of the casual blowing variety, leading me to believe she was more than likely a social smoker, but I kept watching and it seemed the exhales were getting cloudier as she progressed.  Somewhere during this show two more guys came out and lit cigarettes, meaning she was now outnumbered four to one by males.   It was a fun show but she dropped her cigarette to the ground and crushed it out, resuming her conversation with the guys…..

I began to walk away but something compelled me to go back, believing this sighting just might not be done yet.  And sure enough, blondie had another cigarette in her hand.  But it wasn’t long enough to be a fresh cigarette so I wondered what was going on, until after two consecutive drags she handed the cigarette to one of the two guys that had joined them, having mooched some of his.  I stood there longer just in case she’d go for another drag, but when I saw the guy she mooched the drags from was crushing his out beneath his feet, I figured this time the show really was over.  But hold on….now she was extending her hand to the other male newcomer of the guy to pilfer a drag from his cigarette too!  As I watched her squintingly dragging from her third cigarette in the last couple of minutes, I was beginning to doubt my original assessment that she was a mere social smoker, as her craving for nicotine was pretty insatiable here.  She gave the cigarette back to the second guy who finished it off and the show was over as the group began to migrate back into the beer gardens.  I confirmed her discarded butt, which I had marked, was a Marlboro Light.  Because of the girl-next-door beauty caliber of the girl and the unexpected escalation towards the end, it was the only sighting of the day I would identify as an undisputed homerun.

Heading to the south side from there, I got further evidence the day was starting to come together a little during the early evening hours as I came upon Sighting #61, another ball-capped, ponytailed girl-next-door cutie with a cigarette in the presence of a smoking guy and (seemed to be a common theme yesterday) an overweight and unattractive nonsmoking female friend.  The smoker was about 22 and had auburn hair and wore a red T-shirt and a pair of utilitarian denim cutoffs showing off her nice legs, accentuated perfectly with a freshly lit cork filter between her fingers.  She didn’t have the IT factor of the prior girl but her brashness in progressing through this busy stretch of the fairgrounds while casually smoking her cigarette was sexy.  I got a couple of modest photos but was mostly content to walk behind, watching and listening.  The listening part allowed me to hear the best bit of dialogue I encountered yesterday by a country mile.  The nonsmoking female friend was saying “….everybody on the campaign smokes” to which my smoker girl responded, “Yeah….everybody here smokes”.   If only this was true!!!  I had been here for eight hours now and her statement was a gross exaggeration.  And whatever “campaign” the nonsmoker works on, I want to join it no matter what the ideology of the politician!  It was fun to follow in her smoky entrails, watching her drag from her cigarette and exhale casually into the crowd completely inconsiderate about who she hit.  Her male friend finished his cigarette first and was careful about crushing it out and tossing it into a garbage can.  I was hopeful the girl wouldn’t be as well behaved….and she wasn’t, dropping the cigarette to the curb and stepping on it before progressing northward.  Her discarded cigarette was a Camel Blue.

I kept exploring the south side when it hit me that the grandstand concert featuring modern country singer Brett Eldredge would be beginning in a half hour, and I’d be well-advised to get my butt up there to see some cowgirls getting their last hits of nicotine before going in for the long concert.  I headed that direction and quickly got my reward.  There were a number of smokers lurking outside the grandstand but the best were Sightings #67 and #68, the pair of early 20s hotties I’d been looking for all day.  On the left was a hot blond wearing sunglasses and a brown minidress.  But it was the brunette on the right who won me over even more, a total country cutiepie in an orange tanktop with pale blue cutoffs and cowgirl boots.  A sexier image you’d be hard-pressed to find.  I was a bit daring as I readied my camera phone for her first drag, and nailed the moment as her cheeks hollowed to ingest the cancerous chemicals her sexy young body demanded a steady diet of.  Much as I nailed this pic, there was a downside.  She spotted me.  Any future picture-taking was out of the question and it became challenging enough to even continue lurking there.  It got worse as two guys, presumably boyfriends, came over and fired up cigarettes of their own.  I hovered from an awkward spot to watch the show but the brunette continued to make eyes with me whenever I tried to study her technique and I could almost feel her nudging the guys that she was being watched.  Ugh….I’m not as good at this as I used to be!  Whatever the case, I still got a few good glances.  The blond, not to be outdone, was the quicker smoker of the two and got some great drags of her own in, looking wonderful holding her cigarette in a bent-elbow pose in her minidress and cowgirl boots.  She was good enough that the brunette didn’t completely steal the show but the brunette was definitely my favorite, her drags indulgent and her exhales cloudier.  The blond finished hers about a minute before the brunette.  I marked the location where both girls discarded their cigarettes before scurrying to the grandstand to get into the concert, ideally upsetting whoever sat next to them with their fresh ciggy stench.  The guys went elsewhere, apparently not attending the concert.  I approached their cigarette butts and discovered both girls had smoked Marlboro Lights, still my favorite.  If I had a better vantage point and hadn’t gotten busted so totally and immediately, I’d probably rate this one as my second favorite of the day but when you’re nervous throughout a sighting that you’re about to be confronted, it takes something away so I’ll go with this as my third favorite and likely positioning it for my top-25 this year.  There’s a brief encore ahead from this one.

I was picking off a number of sightings of girls smoking before the concert, and the next to impress was Sighting #71, an attractive mid-to-late 20s blond smoking with a (wait for it) unattractive overweight friend.  She reminded me of my friend Alissa and definitely had the look of a smoker, but did not have the presentation of a smoker, her long dark blond hair going down her back onto a conservative black top with an even more conservative long black and white skirt running inches above the pavement.  It was adorable watching her hold the skirt off the ground with one hand and drag from her cigarette with the other hand.  She was a pretty good smoker too, with nicely timed drags and cloudy exhales.  I was hovering in too wide open of a spot to continue lingering but I got to see about four drags and got a couple pics in, although one of them was blurry as it was now approaching 8:00 when the darker skies make quality photos a more and more challenging commodity.

Unfortunately, I had much bigger problems than blurry pics to contend with as the 8:00 hour arrived….my shoes.  Every year I seem to run into a buzzsaw right around fair time with my shoes as I do so much walking during the summer and it grinds away at the heels.  The pair I successfully commandeered through fair season last summer was failing me badly by late July, forcing me to take a gamble just this past week on a new pair that I was forced to break in on the days before the fair.  I had my concerns in the days leading up to the fair, but was fairly impressed through most of the day yesterday that they seemed to be doing fine.  But it was clear right around 8:00 that the front of my feet were starting to blister.  And if they were this bad at 8:00, another four hours of walking would likely be very, very bad….and it was.  It had been a few years since a day at the fair had left me in this much pain but as the hours went by, as each step began cutting like a knife.  I soldiered through it but tried to hover in the same general areas and took advantage to sit down to watch a sighting whenever I got the chance, but the evening sightings were not particularly cooperative on that front.

In the early throes of my foot pain, I headed to the east side beer gardens area which typically delivers in those early evening hours and I padded my numbers fairly nicely.  But it was when I drifted away from the beer gardens that I got my best sighting from that stretch with Sighting #81, another of the few sightings I got yesterday from a girl who was probably under 21.   I spotted a cluster of 19-20ish girls and only one of them had a cigarette, a long-haired brunette in a tie-dye style blouse and jean shorts.  She wasn’t the hottest girl in the group but she was reasonably attractive and it was refreshing to see a girl that age publicly smoking in defiance of three nonsmoking friends walking through the fair with her.  I went for a pic and got one but it’s too blurry to be of much use.  Her drags and exhales were fairly standard but I made a point of walking next to her and watching three or four drags before she tossed the cigarette to the curb without bothering to crush it out.  It was another Camel Turkish Royal, a cigarette I seem to only see around fair season every year and don’t know if I’d even recognize the pack if I saw it in the store.

There’s an alleyway behind the east side beer gardens where I’d get my next memorable sighting.  Between the beer gardens and the set of port-a-potties, you occasionally get sightings of particularly stealth smoker girls back here and Sighting #84 was the latest find.  There were two attractive 20-somethings standing in the grass and only one was smoking, but it was the right girl of the two who was, another ball-cap-wearing brunette in a black top and jean shorts.  They were chatting up a whirlwind and I stopped for the show, taking three pics but none of them turning out worth a damn since it was now close to 8:30 and the pics were mostly blurry.  Unfortunately it wasn’t as productive as it should have been as she took an eternity between drags and always turned her head away from me (and away from her friend) to drag and exhale, rendering the rewards for my patience limited.  I was there a good eight minutes before she finished the cigarette, threw it into the grass and walked back towards the beer gardens with her blond friend.  She was a beauty though and it was still nice to know that she was a smoker.  It was also nice to give my feet a little downtime given the escalating pain the next three hours would bring.  I walked over to check out the discarded butt before I pressed on.  It was a Camel Blue.

For the general mediocrity of the day, I will say the numbers were holding up very nicely.  It wasn’t even 9:00 and I already had 90 sightings, which wasn’t too far off from my all-time best.  I hadn’t really scored anything yet this year from The Depot, the open-air bar and grill on the west side of the grounds, but that was about to change as I encircled the perimeter and saw a promising sighting of a worker finishing off her cigarette before walking away out of sight (story of the day) but I ascended the stairs in front of the patio seating and came upon a redeeming cluster of four young hotties.  They must have been varied in ages because a couple of these girls didn’t even look 18 let alone 21.  One of the older looking girls, who I still figured couldn’t have been a day older than 21, was standing up directly in front of me on the other side of the railing with her blond hair up in a ponytail and wearing a blue top and sexy jean shorts.  I didn’t hold out much hope that any of these girls were smokers given their youth and general wholesome look so I still wasn’t processing it when the blond standing in front of me opened up her tiny little purse, which didn’t look big enough to hold a pack of cigarettes anyway.  So imagine my stunned elation when she extracted a cork-filter cigarette from an unidentifiable pack and placed it between her lips.  Sweet Jesus!  And then she lit up and blew my mind when she took an epic dangling drag off the light-up, and while still dragging two giant dragon blasts of smoke rocketed out of her nose.  I was fully prepared for my sighting of the day with Sighting #91 and got my camera phone out for a pic, thinking with as close as she was that I’d still be able to get something salvageable.  I got the pic in but it was it immediately clear, despite my all my perceived stealthness, that she knew I snapped the pic.  It was a costly mistake….

I was able to see one more drag just like the last, an intense humdinger where the blast of smoke emerging from her nostrils coincided with her dragging, something I don’t see often, particularly producing that much smoke.  I was dying to see if the younger-looking girls sitting in front of her who she was talking to would follow her lead and light up, but instead she walked away from them and to a group of guys immediately to the girls’ right.  I could see her talking to one of the guys while looking my way, as if telling on me.  This was really getting dangerous for me but apparently not dangerous enough for me to walk away as I lingered there, darting my eyes to my right hoping to see more even though there were now people standing in her way.  I did get to see one more solid drag, and this time she waited a moment before delivering the exhale, and from a distance it was arguably even cooler seeiing two smoke missiles rocketing out of her nostrils with a straight down trajectory.  She was without a shadow of a doubt the best smoker of the day style-wise and even though I was putting my safety on the line lingering here I just couldn’t walk away.  But I thought I saw her dropping the cigarette and kept hovering in the general area to see if I was right….and unfortunately I had.   Now she smoked that thing hard but there’s no way she finished it off in three or four drags.  A sighting poised to be my best of the day had fallen apart.  Between getting busted and managing only three drags, I didn’t feel fulfilled walking away from this one.  Making matters worse, the momentum that had kept my numbers up thus far last night slowed to a crawl for the coming hour, and with the escalating pain in my feet the time seemed like it went even slower without any good sightings to enjoy.

It was after 10:00 before my next memorable sighting at the east side beer gardens.  Sitting in the middle of a bench was an attractive young brunette mother who looked about 30 sitting with her husband and two young boys under 10.  Mom was holding an unlit cigarette in her hand and a pack of Pall Mall Menthols on her lap….and she was the only smoker.  There was a bench next to the family and I took a seat in time to watch mom light up, becoming Sighting #99.  It was a very cool family dynamic watching all these nonsmoking males surrounding the attractive matriarch while she’s consuming her cigarette, spewing carcinogens for every one of them to choke on.  The downside about mom’s position on the middle of this bench is that my view was obstructed so I didn’t get to see as much of her performance as I’d have preferred.  I ended up leaving halfway through the cigarette, disappointed that I hadn’t been able to see the extent of which the husband and sons were cannon fodder for mom’s cancerous habit.

I went back to the grandstand area and discovered an old favorite in what appeared to be a family cluster including older adults and young children.  It was the Sighting #46 girl in the tanktop and jean shorts who managed to be sexy even with some tattoos and facial piercings.  Standing in her presence was another young lady in her early 20s, although not the gal she was with in the afternoon pushing the stroller.  This girl was much hotter, a smoldering blond in a black minidress.  Unfortunately, she too undermined her presentation with tattoos.  It’s a compete epidemic….one of the prettiest girls of the day who elected to scar herself.  She redeemed herself nicely in a moment or two though when she broke out a pack of cigarettes, although I couldn’t see the brand because of the darkness.  The light brunette I saw this afternoon was elated at seeing the pack and said “I am so happy to see those I’ve been stuck smoking (indeterminant brand name)”.  It was pretty exciting knowing I was about to get a two-for-one sighting as the Sighting #103 blond produced a cigarette for herself and another for the Sighting #46 girl from before.  It was game on….but would it kill these girls to light up in a place where there’s a decent and inconspicuous vantage point for the guys stalking them?!?!?!  There were no benches in sight and they were in a huddle making it hard to see the faces and techniques of both at the same time so I found myself wandering conspicuously in a circle to get a better vantage point.  Neither had any stylistic bells and whistles but both were solid smokers, the blond being gorgeous with some long-distance exhales and the brunette smoking a little more quickly.  I ultimately sat down against the wall of the grandstand, taking the pressure off my feet for a few minutes and seeing what I could of the show, albeit with both girls’ backs to me for most of it.  The brunette finished her cigarette first and the brunette followed.  I could tell they were both cork filters but was never able to get close enough to identify the butts since they hovered there for several moments later.  This sighting was a solid double but the logistics were challenging and I can’t help but dock a few points for the unseemly tattoos.

The moments after this produced some adorable but short-lived encores.  The Brett Eldredge concert was still ongoing but a few nicotine-starved temptresses had to answer the call of their addicted bodies for some carcinogenic relief.  Two of them were the dark blond in the long dress with her overweight friend, but even more thrillingly, the blond and brunette cowgirls were back out there, the girls who went to the concerts without their guy friends but congregated once again for another round of cigarettes.  Now the blond was not in possession of a cigarette when I spotted her but the brunette who I preferred was.  The blond smoked faster than the brunette on the prior round so that may have been the issue here again.  I didn’t get to see much here as I couldn’t get too close anyway having been busted before, but I saw one rear drag from the brunette.  I was most excited about the fact that these two cuties paid good money for this concert but were still willing to squander it because their dependency on a regular diet of nicotine overruled the enjoyment of the concert.

It was now approaching 11:00 and my feet were in agonizing pain even as my sightings numbers were slowing down significantly at the time they’re usually soaring.  I struggled my way to the east side beer gardens area one last time and got a few winners.  Two of them were in the same cluster.  Sighting #108 was an early 20s blond who looked a little like Allison Krauss while Sighting #109 was a brunette in a little white dress and cowgirl boots.  They were both attractive but the brunette had a little more IT factor, which is a good thing because the blond lost her cigarette one way or another the second time I laid eyes on her.  This allowed me the opportunity to check out this brunette more thoroughly as she galavanted around amongst friends with cigarette in hand, giving two of them stinky hugs.  I hovered closeby and watched her smoke, enjoying the show early on until her drags got slower and it became clear that she was also aware of me.  I drifted off a few feet to the east, still looking over my shoulder in hopes of catching the brunette’s impressively cloudy exhales when possible.  But in my new location I was treated to another newcomer as a young couple in their mid-20s stepped out of the bar in a way that I knew was gonna result in tobacco use despite them both looking quite wholesome, especially the blond gal with a girl-next-door face dressed in a conservative T-shirt and jeans.  Sure enough a pack of Marlboro Lights came out of her purse and a cigarette was produced by both her and the boyfriend.  Sighting #110 was not only a smoker but an extremely skilled one, lighting herself up and then doing an extended dangling drag off the lightup, dangling that thing for a good 20 seconds before removing it from her mouth.  Unfortunately, I looked over towards the brunette one too many times and made direct eye contact with her, at which point she nudged the boyfriend and began pointing my direction.  Time for me to go, hard as it was to abandon all of these smokers at the same spot.  I’m not sure what my issue was yesterday but I got busted a good half dozen times.  I don’t think I was any more aggressive or obvious this year compared to my past adventures, but it was kind of a wake-up call that one of these times I’m gonna get busted and it won’t end well, and particularly given the condition of my feet last night I was in no position to hold my own or even run away.  I walked away and would not return to the east side beer gardens again, not that my feet would have allowed it anyway.

There’s an after-dark teen hangout area in the middle of the grounds across the street from the midway that I continued to explore last night, but not as much as usual.  There simply isn’t any smoking there anymore, and it’s just heartbreaking to think back even five years ago when I saw considerable smoking in the location.  As I was encircling that area, the fireworks started, which meant the grandstand show had just ended.  I plodded along to the grandstand area in hopes of catching the crowd leaving the show, although most of the smoker girls I was most excited about left the show prematurely anyway.  I scored a spattering of sightings as the crowd spilled out but nothing too exceptional.  It was well after 11 now and every step I took was horrifically painful.  I was trying to walk differently to avoid the blisters on the front of my feet but doing so just accentuated the pain on other pressure points.  I found myself sitting down quite a bit and probably missing out on a few sightings.  I slowly worked my way to The Depot and outside sitting at a bench was a cute and wholesome blond in leggings sitting there with her boyfriend for a smoke.  Sighting #117 reminded me a lot of a slightly younger version of the Sighting #110 blond at the east side beer gardens a bit earlier, although her smoking style wasn’t nearly as memorable.  I joined the sighting in progress though and only got to see a couple of drags before she crushed the cork filter Camel out beneath her feet.  This gal was also a milestone sighting in that she was my 2,000th Iowa State Fair sighting going back to 2006.

It was now after 11:30 and I was gonna putz around a bit longer in hopes of padding my numbers a little and ideally beating last year’s count of 122 sightings, and I did so by encircling The Depot one final time, where I’d find two early 20s brunette hotties lingering near the guy at the till with cigarettes in hand.  Sightings #121 and #122 were both about equally attractive but the darker-haired girl lingered in the background smoking in peace while the more wholesome-looking lighter brunette in a floral print minidress was directly engaging with the guy behind the register, at one point taking a drag and exhaling straight ahead of her.  She didn’t nail the guy directly in the face with her exhale but she certainly invaded his airspace and it was adorable.  The two of them soon walked away and I followed them, managing to get splashed in the face by a couple of their exhales as they proceeded towards the back of The Depot where I’d spot another wholesome brunette in a different group smoking.

The pain was keeping me from getting the kind of enjoyment out of this that I would have just a few hours earlier so I decided I better take off and get on my shuttle bus.  I’d pass one more smoker girl on the way though, a wholesome brunette in a cutesy little dress dancing with friends, the only girl of the three wielding a cigarette.  It was a nice sendoff image but I had a long painful walk to my bus ahead of me.  From there it was the drive back to the bus stop and a very painful three-block walk back to my car after midnight, my body radiating heat having baked in the sun all day.  I think part of my problem getting spotted so much is that I was lobster-red and covered in sweat, probably looking like I was drunk or high or both and immediately drawing attention to myself.

I’ve had worse days of fetishing but there were a combined number of factors about this day that leave me feeling cold 24 hours later.  There weren’t any bona fide rock star sightings as I consider a must for any given day of fairgrounds fetishing, the dearth of underage smokers has reached epidemic levels, the fact that I was constantly getting busted when doing the same routine I’ve generally gotten away with in years past, and the lingering issue with foot blisters all contributed to this disappointment.  Considering that nearly 24 hours later, my feet are still in pain and blistered in the worst spot, I’m worried about the days to come as I have three sets of shoes, none of them sufficient for a day at the fair.  Two of these days are coming up in the next six.  We’ll see if I’m even recovered by Wednesday or Thursday when I go back for my second half-day in Iowa, but even if I am sure I’m sure I’ll flare the blisters right back up again.  It’s a bit of crisis right now for me.  All in all though, I got a number of extra-base hits and got pics of most of them so I’m trying to look at the bright side.



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2016 Local County Fair

Tuesday Night

I used to go in to every fair season brimming with unbridled jubilation at the endless potential for sightings bliss.  In the last few years I’ve learned to temper that jubilation some as smoking rates among my preferred demographic are noticeably plummeting.  But no matter how bleak things have gotten, one thing I was able to depend upon until recently is that my local county fair would produce a great sighting every single night.  And I don’t mean just a “good” sighting, I mean a great sighting…..something worthy of my blog’s greatest hits section.  I first started my current routine of very heavy navigation of my local fairgrounds for five consecutive evenings back in 2009 and had a streak of 23 evenings through 2014 where I got at least one great sighting.  Most nights it was more than one.  Unfortunately I really hit a wall on the Friday evening of 2014 and haven’t really regained my footing yet.  I had a bad feeling that streak would continue in the opening night of 2016, and for the most part I was right, scoring a tepid 21 sightings for the evening with none among them being “blog-worthy” in the greatest hits realm.

It was right around 6 p.m. when I pulled into my 90-year-old grandma’s apartment complex across the street from the fairgrounds and claimed her garage for free parking.  It was a touch steamy but generally shaping up to be a good night at the fair.  The evening’s musical entertainment was the modern country duo LoCash, which I was less than thrilled about and fairgoers seemed to concur as the crowd was below average for opening night.  I followed my traditional routines when I entered the grounds and didn’t get any early sightings, quickly getting in line for a gyro for supper.  Even with no early smoker sightings, it sure is wonderful seeing so many scantily clad young girls in their sexy summer attire.  The further I get from an acceptable age to date them, the more irresistible their bodies look.  Curiously I have a potential date with a 19-year-old smoker babe Thursday night at the fair, but she’s been hesitant about meeting me thus far and I have a feeling she could chicken out this time too.  It would really spice up this year’s writeup if I was had a sexpot blond Newport teen on my arm but knowing her I’d give that scenario less than even odds right now.

Back to Tuesday, I encircled the relatively small grounds for at least an hour before I scored a very modest sighting of a young mom outside the bathroom.  Another weak sauce sighting followed but when I finally got something worthy of mention, I missed essentially all of it.  A young couple emerged from a remote area with fresh clouds of cigarette smoke in front of their faces.  The late 20s female was a sexy blond in a white tanktop and jean shorts with fairly short blond hair  not quite reaching her bare shoulders, one of which was unfortunately defiled with a tattoo….but at least it wasn’t on her arm or chest.  Anyway, I saw that final exhale coasting in front of her face but then saw her snuff out the cherry on the cigarette and approach the nearest dumpster to toss it in.  After a good hour I finally had a worthwhile sighting and missed 99% of it.  Thankfully, when I was seated for the concert, the couple came out again for another round of smokes and I got an extended sighting of her.  There was nothing overly memorable about her style but she took frequent drags and produced solid exhales for a good five minutes before proceeding back into the grandstand with the boyfriend.

I scored a handful of other sightings sitting overlooking the traditional smoking area outside the grandstand as well as the beer gardens on the other end of the fence.  It’s alarming that even the beer gardens seems to be producing diminishing returns of sightings lately.  Most memorable of the beer gardens sightings were two familiar faces who have now apparently turned 21.  The epic brunette Newport girl from 2012 and 2013 who I said looked a bit like Selena Gomez was standing in the beer gardens in the company of a guy and girl friend.  She still has a nice body draped in tight-fitting jean shorts, but has adopted a bit of an alternative look that isn’t working for me, the sides of her head shaved and even the back of her prior mane of luxurious light brown hair has now been cut to above her shoulders.  And worse yet, one of those long smooth legs of hers has an ugly circular tattoo on it.  She still looked great smoking when she lit up, still releasing those impressive smoke missiles into the sky with her exhales, but her IT factor disappeared when she had to go and grow up.  It happens.

Remaining more consistent with her prior body of work was another girl from local county fair past….”Sarah”.  I was first introduced to “Sarah” two summers ago when I saw this wholesome late teen blond in sexy white shorts smoking a couple of Marlboro Lights and heard some guy friends refer to her by name.  She returned last year for a couple of minor sightings moments, but I’ve never been able to pin Sarah down and get a solid vantage point of her feeding her addiction, and part of the deal there is that she’s on to me.  I’ll get into that more later but my stalemate with Sarah sightings was broken last night because she’s now 21 and inside the beer gardens, where I was able to watch her from a relatively decent distance without her being aware she was being spied on.  She was standing in a huddle in a poorly lit spot when I first caught her with a cigarette and I didn’t even realize it was her, but she came through much better about five minutes later….

Stepping outside of the building with a fresh beer and a blond guy friend at her side, the natural blond hair and the now illuminated facial features confirmed to me that the girl I had just seen smoking and who was about to do so again was indeed Sarah, decked out in a white top and jean shorts.  She’s not a knockout but is a solid 8.  Her youth and those white shorts, coupled with her great style, was what qualified her for my top-25 sightings of the year in 2014, but due to the logistical challenges I cited earlier she’ll struggle to make this year’s list.  With that said, this was as close as I’ve ever come and may ever get to a close-up Sarah sighting as she was fishing two cigarettes out of her purse from an indeterminant pack, one for the guy and one for herself.  She lit them both up with the same flame and passed the guy one of them while keeping the other for herself.  I’d be interested in learning Sarah’s smoking history as the events of last night confirmed she’s one heavily addicted smoker now at age 21.  Her style didn’t seem to have quite the dramatics that it did two years earlier but she still took nice, deep drags and produced impressive straight-ahead exhales with solid respiratory force as she danced and bopped to the music from the mediocre-at-best LoCash concert.  I’d still love to have an even closer-up sighting of Sarah but I’m unfortunately pretty certain that’s as good as it’ll get.

I left the concert about 10 minutes early and boy am I glad I did.  I made a partial voyage into the midway and came across the most impressive girl of the night.  I had made a mental note earlier in the evening of this ponytailed auburn-haired cutie with the most wholesome face and a body to match.  Looking at her face and body type I’d have figured she was no older than 16, but unfortunately she had a couple of small battle scars that told the tale that she was likely 18.  Those battle scars came in form of tattoos, albeit small ones, on her upper arm and thigh, exposed by her bare midriff top and her jean shorts.  The tattoos were an unfortunate eyesore but not enough to be disqualifying as I entered the midway and saw from afar this cutie with a smoldering cigarette in hand.  I rushed on over hoping to get a decent show and actually did pretty well for myself.  The smoker and a chubbier nonsmoking friend who also looked in the 17-18 range were exiting the midway and walking towards the food vendors.  I stayed parallel to the smoker and was able to take in three pretty decent drags with skillful, cloudy exhales.  If anyone took note of her public smoking display without the context of the tattoos, they’d have probably figured she was an underage smoker.  I can’t get over how sweet that face was for a high school-aged girl who still smokes in 2016!  She stopped in her tracks to finish the last couple of drags of her cigarette before entering the crowded block of food vendors, tossing the all-white butt to the pavement with the last entrails of smoke spilling from her adorable face.  When she and the friend set in motion again I walked over to ID the butt, impressed to see it was a Parliament, which are extremely expensive in Minnesota and increasingly rare to see.  I tried to take a couple of snapshots of her in passing but my camera phone doesn’t not handle the dark very well and they didn’t turn out.  Unfortunately, I got a couple of more buzzkills later in the evening from this girl as I saw her two more times and she was vaping from an e-cigarette.  While it’s obviously nice that she still smokes her Parliaments, my sense was that I got lucky catching her with a real cigarette and she probably vapes more than she actually smokes.  There are still four nights left of the fair though and I’d love to prove myself wrong on that one.

Another extra-base hit arose about a half hour later in the smoking area outside the grandstand, timed strangely as the concert was now long ago over.  I saw a family dynamic where an unattractive middle-aged woman was smoking.  Sitting and standing behind her was a cluster of two guys and a girl.  From afar the very petite brunette looked about 14 so when I saw a cigarette in her hand I really got excited.  Up close it became clear she was probably more in the 21 range though and simply looked younger because of her small size.  She had a “cute nerd” thing going with retro-style glasses and a general throwback look, although decked out in a fairly conventional ensemble of white tanktop and black shorts.  After a minute or so sitting at this bench, the four of them got up to leave, and the little brunette was strutting through the fairgrounds with cigarette in one hand and, adorably, holding the hand of the nonsmoking boyfriend with the other.  I didn’t know if the brunette was the daughter of the matriarch or if her boyfriend was, but odds are that it was a mother-daughter sighting.  I was able to walk parallel to her and watch her nice drags and exhales as she proceeded hand in hand with the boyfriend through the midway.  About halfway through the walk, she dropped her cork filter butt to the ground and they kept walking.  The butt was from a Marlboro Red, meaning her tiny body was really getting filled up with some awful carcinogens.  There’s a back entrance to the parking lot through the midway and the foursome ventured that direction less than a minute after the daughter finished the cigarette.  I’m grateful I scored a few of these extra base hits that kept the night from being a calamity.  And who knows, if she or a couple of the other girls resurface later in the week with encore acts, she might make this year’s top-25.

A short while after that sighting, while still in the midway, I spotted another mid-20s brunette who also had a bit of a cute nerd thing going with her glasses, and she was packing a fresh pack of cigarettes against her wrist.  The girl didn’t have any kind of IT factor but it was a nice image to see her packing this black pack (I’m sure it was some variation of Marlboro Blacks) so casually while walking through the midway.  She was with a heavyset and unattractive friend and extracted a cigarette for each of them from the fresh pack.  They lit up and the cute one put on a modestly strong performance.

There was one trio of wholesome mid-teens with impossibly hot bodies in tight white shorts that kept beckoning my attention.  I knew the odds of them being smokers was a longshot but I made a point of keeping my eye on them all night just in case.  It never happened but this fair, because of the comparatively small size of its grounds, is the kind of setting where it’s easier to keep tabs on certain girls throughout the night than are any of my state fairs with much larger grounds.

But the downside of the smaller grounds is that the same familiarity I’m afforded with my intended sightings targets cuts both ways.  There are two girls at the FCF who are unambiguously on to me based on incidents of the last couple of years, and they both happened to be the most prolific girls of the night.  One was the aforementioned “Sarah”.  I pushed my luck too far with her a couple of years ago and she clearly remembers me every time I’m in the general area watching her smoking now.  I got lucky being able to watch her show in the beer gardens, but last year she was preparing a cigarette each for herself and a guy friend, spotted me sitting at a booth, and then started whispering in the guy’s ear and I’m positive it was about me.  The other girl is this very pretty and tanned long-haired light brunette about Sarah’s age (20-21) who I’ve seen smoking twice at the last two county fairs, and two years ago she also got up and stormed off once when she saw me lurking on her second cigarette of the evening.  This girl’s physical downside is an unfortunately plump backside.  I can handle a little junk in the trunk, but this girl’s ass is a tick more bulbous than I’d be likely to tolerate, which is too bad because she’s gorgeous.

Anyway, I would see Sarah smoking three more cigarettes over the course of the rest of the evening after the concert ended, putting her at an impressive five cigarettes on the night counting her two inside the beer gardens.  The large-bootied brunette was smoking three times as well, and two of these sightings were done when in the company of Sarah.  For their final respective cigarettes of the night, Sarah and the brunette did the classic pose where one girl with a lit cigarette pressed herself up to the other in a kissing pose to light the second girl’s cigarette.  Unfortunately everything I saw had to be done at a very comfortable distance because I don’t want an awkward encounter, particularly if I’m gonna be bringing a teen smoker girl of my own there two nights from now.  More unfortunate, there were several other hot girls that came in and out of this cluster, and I didn’t see any additional smoking.  The smoker girl base in my home county does not appear to expanding, and that poses a big problem if it continues.

I caught the tail end of one more outstanding moment right around 11:00 when I walked past the Tom Thumb mini-donut stand, a location that provided me two sightings of smoker girl workers last year and has already delivered this year.  This cutiepie 17-18ish dark blond with two braids flowing over her shoulders was standing behind the booth at nearly closing time and each were smoking.  I only got to see two drags before the cigarette expired but what a face!  A more sustained sighting of this girl on a future night could easily get a golden ticket into my top-25.  She was a touch chubbier than I’d prefer but certainly not disqualifyingly so.  I found a berm to sit on and admire her from afar after she finished the cigarette, but perhaps exposed myself a little here because directly in front of me on the sidewalk this sober boyfriend/husband was walking with his falling-down drunk wife/girlfriend who was stumbling all over the place and unable to get up from the ground.  My mini-donuts smoker girl was staring directly my way pointing and laughing about the drunk gal’s misfortune and probably taking a mental note of my presence in the process.  Hopefully this doesn’t complicate my ability to get more sightings of her later in the week because she was as cute as they come.

I despise the new outfit running the midway at my county fair that came in two years ago.  The old midway operation was open till midnight every night.  With the new place, it’s lights out at 11.  It’s already a struggle with as small as these grounds are to loop around repeatedly and not look suspicious, but when the midway loop is removed from the equation, the grounds tend to empty out rather immediately and there is even less terrain to explore and fewer people around to check out.  This basically means that by 11:20 or so, the night’s over.  I’d get one last sighting of a guy and girl leaving the beer gardens where the decently attractive mid-20s brunette girlfriend in a black dress had a cigarette in hand in the final minutes of the night, but that was it.

I had a weak first night in 2015 getting only 24 sightings but did even worse this year with 21.  Worse yet is that much of the low-hanging fruit–the regulars I see every year–are already accounted for meaning I can’t count them again and subsequent nights could be even weaker.  I’m not liking the trendline and am pretty shocked by how abruptly the local county fair crashed as a venue.  I’m not at all a fan of 70s rocker Ted Nugent and won’t even attend his concert when he’s here on Friday, but I’m anticipating a hard-core white trash crowd there that night.  Granted it’ll probably skew older, but I could imagine some nicotine-addicted daughters of Nugent fans traveling from afar to see this concert.  Nugent night is probably my best hope for a big smoker girl haul this year.  Other than that, 2016 could be the first year I dip below 100 for FCF sightings.  I got 101 last year, with a steady downward trajectory since my peak year of 2010 when I got 144.


Wednesday Night

Well that was better.  My Wednesday night at the county fair is not destined for the Hall of Fame or anything but I did better than the previous night, scoring 23 sightings, the majority of them being extra-base hits.  There’s only one that has even a chance of year-end acclaim but there were a few strong opening acts that could develop into stardom in the next three nights.  I got to the fair about 6:45, and it seems like more often than not when I arrive on Wednesday evenings I get sightings fairly quickly.  I thought I had really hit that jackpot and I perused past the people in line for the concert and saw three teenage girls with cigarettes hanging out of their mouths….fake cigarettes.  There’s a vendor somewhere on this fairgrounds that sells fake rubber/plastic cigarettes and I’ve had moments where my heart has stopped before seeing wholesome young girls wielding these things only to have my heart break a couple of seconds later when I see they’re not real.  These girls were posing for selfies with the fake cigarettes dangling from their mouths, making it all the more soul-crushing that they weren’t real.  Maybe before long, curiosity will get the better of them and they’ll try the real thing, enabling me to see them with real cigarettes while waiting in line next year.

But even after that false alarm, I still had a strong opening to the night. I had been there only about five minutes when I spotted a couple with two kids emerging from a seating area near food trucks and the tall early 30s blond gal in a white tanktop and black shorts had an unlit cigarette between her fingers.  I had to be careful here because I recognized the guy she was with.  Two years ago, I saw him at a family reunion.  He was then the boyfriend of my cousin.  I doubted he’d remember me but there was a chance, so I carefully hovered to the side as they walked towards the midway until she lit her cigarette.  The guy eventually lit one too as the small kids, which I’m assuming were hers, tagged along.  She got some good drags in and it was clear she was a long-time pro at this smoking thing.  I didn’t follow for the whole show but watched a few nice drags.  Less than an hour later, I’d cross paths with the couple again, and the blond was smoking another cigarette.  Good start to the evening.

That opening teaser to the night would be quickly surpassed as I headed to the south side of the grounds to get a drink from the fountain and noticed a young blond sitting alone on a bench with cigarette in hand.  There were a series of empty benches in the general area so I took a seat and watched the show.  She was mid-to-late 20s and had long strawberry blond hair.  She wasn’t unattractive but didn’t have a face that stood out in the crowd.  But if her face was only a 6, her body was very close to a perfect 10, and best of all it was draped in a pink tanktop and extremely tight white shorts.  There’s nothing sexier for summer attire draping the female posterior than white shorts and this girl was rocking the sexiest pair I had seen worn by a smoker girl yet this summer.  Her smoking technique was impressive too, with very nicely timed drags and exhales a few moments apart.  She helpfully attended to her phone while she smoked, allowing me a very nice little show sitting in near isolation with her about 15 feet away.  I got to see about eight drags before she stomped out the cigarette under her feet and got up off the bench.  I only had a moment to admire that smoking hot body in those painted-on white shorts while she was in a standing position, but I lucked out watching her approach the water fountain and got to see her bend over for a drink in those tight shorts, her fantastic ass stretching the fabric of the shorts to the breaking point. I took all of this deliciousness in as she progressed northward from the drinking fountain.  I quickly got up to ID her butt and found that it was a Marlboro Nxt, and out of the corner of my eye noticed she had walked into a commercial exhibits building.  I slowly meandered to the building and went inside to discover my smoker girl was sitting behind a Verizon Wireless booth in the company of a middle-aged guy forced to choke on the cigarette stench she brought with her into the booth.  Unfortunately behind the booth I was unable to see her lower body in those tight white shorts, but I made a point of walking past a couple more times that night just to keep an eye on her as she sat at that lonely booth with a look of major-league boredom on her face.  I’m holding out hope that I haven’t seen the last of this gal and hope I get the timing right to spot her on another smoke break during subsequent visits this week, providing she’ll still be working the Verizon booth any additional days.  Even if this is all I get to see of her though, Wednesday was off to a much better start than Tuesday.

I’d get one more mediocre sighting in that first hour before picking up my food and drink and heading to the grandstand to my usual spot overlooking the smoking area and beer gardens.  The musical performer tonight was one-hit wonder country act Chris Janson, who was okay but didn’t leave too much of an impression, yet drew a slightly larger crowd than the night before.  While I certainly didn’t get any homeruns at the beer gardens, I stitched together a decent string of sightings during the hour and a half or so I sat there.  The most prolific were a duo of attractive 20-somethings amidst a group of five or so gals who were unfortunately deep inside the beer gardens to the point that I only had a distant vantage point of their faces, but I sure liked what I was able to see.  The best smoker of the two was the long-haired blond in a white T-shirt and short jean shorts.  She was somewhat short and easy to temporarily lose in the crowd, but there was always the cherry from a smoldering cigarette between her fingers and an airborne exhale into the sky that helped me ultimately discover my nicotine Where’s Waldo?  Her technique was impressive and the image that stuck with me most was when she lit her second cigarette and proceeded to dangle it for about 30 seconds.  Over the course of about 45 minutes I saw her smoking three cigarettes.  And actually beating the blond in the presentation department was the other primary smoker in her group, an attractive light brunette in a green plaid country girl blouse and jean shorts.  She was a little taller and had a distinctive cowgirl hat that made her easier to keep tabs on.  She was still too far away and too deep into the crowd to fully appreciate, but she smoked two cigarettes and my heart began to race every time I watched the cigarette approach her lips and the cherry began to glow as she took her drags.  There was another dark brunette in the group who smoked once but it was pretty clear she was a social smoker unworthy of the show the other two were putting on.

And as those gals were smoking their final cigarettes during my observation period, another gal cooperated much closer to the fence inside the beer gardens with a smoke show of her own.  A wholesome young couple who looked about 30 ventured into the beer gardens area closest to my vantage point and hovered there listening to the music.  I didn’t hold out a ton of hope for smoking as the gal looked very wholesome, but I’ll be damned if she wasn’t foraging around in her purse after about five minutes there with her likely husband.  Out came a cigarette, and the husband got instantly scarce when the cigarette came out, noticing a friend of some sort and walking over to chat with, leaving the wholesome blond to smoke her cigarette all by herself.  It was a solid show with well-paced drags and well-directed exhales that sailed entirely from her mouth in a straight line in front of her.  For a couple of minutes I was able to turn my head back and forth from the aforementioned blond and brunette deeper inside the beer gardens and this cutie closer to me.  It was around 9:30 and time for me to leave the concert anyway, so I took off and timed my pass near the beer gardens fence just in time to see the blond take the final drag from her cigarette and then drop it to the grass.  She was indeed as wholesome upclose as she appeared from afar and definitely didn’t fit the profile of a smoker in the year 2016.

The concert was still ongoing but I had fetishing to do on the grounds, wandering the general area near the grandstand for a bit and then heading to the midway, which turned out to be a very good move.  Towards the back of the midway, a dark brunette was standing in the darkness behind one of the rides and it was clear she was smoking a fairly freshly lit cigarette.  I proceeded towards her to get a better look and she was definitely an extra-base hit, a petite dark brunette who looked at least partially Hispanic decked out in a medium blue tanktop and white shorts.  The shorts weren’t as tight as my Verizon Wireless girl earlier but you can’t go wrong with white shorts on a shapely female form.  As petite as she was it was hard to discern her age in the darkness but I could tell she wasn’t a teenager.  I settled in for what I figured would be a decent show but she took only a couple more drags before dropping the less than half smoked cigarette to the grass and racing back into the midway, apparently concerned her group would leave her behind.  I was able to check out the discarded cigarette and discover it was Marlboro Light Special Blend before following her back into the midway and seeing she was part of a group/family dynamic with some Hispanics and some whites, putting her own mysterious ethnic composition into more question although I’m quite sure she was at least half Hispanic.  I’m guessing she was about 21 or 22.  I’d see her in her group a couple more times that night but never again smoking.

From there I was en route to leave the midway and try to catch the final moments of the concert along with the departing crowd in the grandstand, but instead found myself checking out this beautiful female face in between two midway rides talking to a guy.  I quickly noticed a freshly lit cigarette in her hand.  She had weirdly alternative pinkish-purplish hair that went down to her shoulders, which didn’t fit her gorgeous face at all but was not disqualifying for me the way tattoos or facial piercings are.  It would have been challenging to watch this sighting play out in between the rides but thankfully the two of them started walking elsewhere on the midway, with the guy lighting up a cigarette of his own as they proceeded.  What a smokin’ body the purple-haired nicotine girl had, with a lower body draped in skin-tight leggings that had a multi-color flowery pattern on them and accentuated with a pair of very high-heeled stilettos that could not have been comfortable.  Damn what a presentation, and her smoking was impressive too with well-timed drags and voluminous exhales, some of which I was able to take in the face as I alternated between walking behind her and walking to her side, all without detection.  I wouldn’t have been able to make a photo work with the difficult lighting mix in the nighttime carnival setting, not to mention the risk of incurring the guy’s wrath if he saw me.  The couple came to another stop towards the back of the midway to finish their cigarettes a little away from the crowd.  I couldn’t help but notice that the guy looked at least 10 years older than the girl, with him looking mid-30s and her looking early 20s.  Considering I hope to be going to the fair tonight with a smoker girl 19 years younger than me, the age difference didn’t seem too far-fetched.  I watched the final few moments of her cigarette and couldn’t get enough admiring that crazy hot body, her entire presentation only mildly diminished by the goofy hair color.  Since she began smoking before him, she also finished her cigarette a couple of minutes before him, but they both littered their butt on the edge of the grass and then walked back into the midway.  I had marked the location of her discarded butt and was able to ID it as another Marlboro Light Special Blend.  Unfortunately I wouldn’t see this girl again Wednesday night, smoking or not, but hope to see more of her later this week.  With that hair color, she should be easy to single out!

From there I hustled back to the Chris Janson concert as he was by now closing his show with his only big hit.  I ventured to the smoking areas on both the north and south sides of the grandstand and hit pay dirt on the south side as I saw two young girls standing there smoking.  The girl that beckoned all the attention was a tall and chubby blond who reminded me of my teen smoking ex-girlfriend Brittany.  She wasn’t gorgeous but had an IT factor about her that made her a memorable smoker, but best of all was the T-shirt she was wearing that gave away her age.  On the back it said “Seniors ’16” for a high school from a neighboring town.  Hot damn….this was a genuine, confirmed 18-year-old smoker girl in the year 2016.  The prettier girl of the two, a brunette in a black sweatshirt and jeans, was also smoking and was about six inches shorter than the blond but far less illuminated in this dark location.  I was able to sit down on a berm about 10 feet away and watch what would unfortunately be the final couple of drags of both of their cigarettes.  I didn’t get to see enough of the performance to say much about their smoking style, which was frustrating, but was heartened that two 17-18ish girls are so addicted to cigarettes in 2016 that they had to leave the concert a bit early to get their nicotine fix.  I would see these girls several more times in the next hour, but unfortunately never again smoking.  Since they’re from a town 25 miles away it’s a long shot that I’ll see them again this week either.   It was mildly disappointing that I didn’t get more from them but I know was stringing together a multitude of extra-base hits in a pretty short time period.

Sarah was back tonight and I had to continue keeping my distance from her because she has me figured out, and she wore a helpfully distinctive outfit Wednesday night with a pair of white overall shorts (!!) that made her easy to spot and only admire from afar.  I didn’t have as many run-ins with her as the night before but still saw her smoking two more cigarettes.  It seems pretty clear this girl has quite a problem with nicotine dependency.

It would be another 15 minutes or so before my next sighting, but it would be another impressive extra base hit as I watched a mixed-gender cluster emerging from the fairground’s south side heading to the main blocks of the grounds.  I somehow missed cigarettes on the first pass but quickly took note of a mess of smoke spilling from the face of the petite long-haired blond in the white tanktop and jean shorts who was at the front of the cluster.  The blond hair and nice body made for a great presentation but upclose she was only a 5 or 6 beauty-wise with some fairly rough features for a girl who I figured was probably not yet 21.  Fortunately, seconds after seeing what would be one of only two drags I’d see from blondie before she surrendered the rest of her cigarette to a chubby guy in her company, I spotted another smoker girl in the group.  When I first laid eyes on this group, the face and body that stood out most to me was this very petite dark-haired brunette with an oddly old-fashioned hair style decked out in a black tanktop and a skin-tight pair of tie-dye print leggings on her bottom.  Her ass seemed a tick plump, but it was only because the rest of her body was so little, and it was the kind of booty plumpness that worked for her rather than took away from her.  From afar, you’d have swore this girl was no older than 13 given her body type and height of less than five feet tall, but given the early 20s nature of her friends group and the one brief glimpse I’d taken of her face, I knew she was older.  As for her smoking….phenomenal.   It was the best performance of the night as she took rapid succession drags with intense exhales that came in the form of three thick streams of smoke spilling from her mouth and both nostrils.  I saw four or five of these drags in less than a minute before she discarded the cork filter cigarette to the pavement and proceeded onward with the friends group.  Unfortunately, the crowd in the area was such that I didn’t get a butt ID, but I still had more business at hand of getting a really close look at her face which I had not yet done.  She was attractive but the face did not match the body at all.  It was basically the face of a 25-year-old on the body of a 13-year-old.  Her outfit seemed like something a 13-year-old would wear too.  I’d see the girl a few more times that night but unfortunately not smoking again.  This is another one I’d like to see more of this week as she definitely has the potential of year-end greatest hits acclaim if I get a long enough performance in the right setting.

The extra-base hits kept coming as moments later I got another reward from the Tom Thumb Mini-Donuts stand I’d been keeping an eye on all night because of a certain teen cutie I saw the night before.  There she was again, this time in the company of an older gal who worked in the booth (older as in maybe 30, not “old”) and both were smoking.  Now I should clarify that this girl is filled out just a little too much to be top-tier.  She’s not obese but given that she’s probably only 17 or 18, she likely will be as she ages.  But that face!  Such an angelic looking doll, with the imagery made perfect with those two braids rolling over her shoulders.  The smoking performance was damn impressive too as she took nice, deep drags and then released monstrously cloudy exhales that filled several square feet of airspace in front of her.  I was able to sit at a bench that was further away than I preferred but it did allow me to watch the entirety of her performance.  It was quite a show and she filled a lot of space with her toxic exhaust.  Not sure if this girl is capable of anything that will put her in my top-tier of the year but if I see a smoking performance all five nights like I’ve seen in the first two nights, I won’t rule her out.

Stinky fair workers continued to be the ongoing theme for the next 20 minutes or so as I saw a total of three attractive 20-somethings who worked at the fair in some capacity seated in the lawn between the edge of the midway and the bathroom area.  The most attractive was the first one, a dark brunette with a nice tan wearing a navy blue top advertising whatever vendor she was working and a nice-fitting pair of tan shorts.  She was sitting there with two guys smoking a cigarette and looking beautiful doing so, but there were two problems.  She was a very slow smoker and I was not well-positioned to stick around for an extended show, forced to lurk awkwardly in an isolated area and constantly turn my head towards her to watch, which was tough since she was so slow to take drags and because there was a constant presence of guys who occasionally made eyes with me when my eyes darted that direction.  She was beautiful though and worth some risk, so when a bench opened up overlooking her, albeit from a more challenging distance, I took it.  Unfortunately by that time she was down to her last two drags.  She finished off the cigarette and left it there in the grass, walking my direction en route to her food vendor truck and letting me get a look at her pretty face except with better lighting. Definitely one of the more attractive gals of the night.  Not long after, two decently attractive blonds were sitting smoking with two other guys in the same spot.  They were both nice to see with cigarettes, but didn’t have the IT factor of the brunette and I definitely could not lurk in that same spot any longer to watch much of their show, so I had to simply take a couple half laps and walk past them every couple of minutes to see what they had to offer.  Logistics and timing have been a struggle at this year’s county fair, even when the sightings have been impressive.

And while logistics were still far from perfect, I saved my best for last on Wednesday evening.  I was heading towards the sparse north side of the grounds near the livestock barns and farm equipment to make a final lap of the grounds for the night around 11:00 with the midway already going dark and the crowd rapidly dispersing.  I turned my head in between two livestock buildings, observing complete darkness save for the silhouettes of three approaching females, at least two of whom were quite young.  I had a good feeling about this trio and then turned to my left to approach and almost immediately noticing the hand of one of the younger gals approaching her mouth, followed by the scant illumination of a cigarette cherry as she dragged.  Jackpot!  I kept walking and as I crossed paths I looked the trio over pretty good.  There was an only mildly attractive middle-aged smoking mother closest to me and two very hot daughters to her right.  The girl in the middle looked about 21 and had the best presentation from a distance, a decently attractive face with long platinum blond hair, a blue tanktop, and very nice fitting white shorts.  Unfortunately she wasn’t smoking.  But standing to her right was the girl who was smoking, and absolutely gorgeous long-haired 21ish blond in a light green top and very tight blue jeans.  Unfortunately, I now had a problem as we made eyes with each other, but now I had to turn around if I wanted to follow them and see more.  I waited a brief moment and then did, watching the three women navigate in between the farm equipment en route to the beer gardens where I figured they’d disappear to.  If that was the case, my window here was narrow to see anything else as I followed in between the farm equipment, frequently losing my vantage point due to the obstructions.  Fortunately, when I got through the obstacles and approached the entrance of the beer gardens, my prediction was wrong as only one of the females went inside, and it was the nonsmoking blond in the white shorts.  The smoking mother and daughter would stick around hanging outside and finishing the show.  I took a bench and enjoyed the festivities….

I finally got a really good look at the face of the beautiful blond smoker.  She was a perfect 10, radiating supermodel-quality beauty with a Midwestern flair, and she also happened to be a girl I think I saw before and got a photo of while smoking in 2014.  You don’t see a face this pretty every day and I always hoped after the brief sighting I got of her two years ago that I’d see more of her, but didn’t until tonight.  Unfortunately a couple of guys who knew the mother and daughter approached and began talking to them, occasionally wandering in and out my view of the smoking blond.  I still got to see a few really nice drags though.  There was nothing distinctive about her style, but seeing a haze of exhaled cancerous smoke that was produced by a girl this beautiful in the presence of two nonsmoking guys was such a thrill.  All too quickly, she surrendered the butt to the pavement and crushed it out, continuing to stand there chatting with the guys and her mom.  The sister was now coming out of the beer gardens searching for the two smokers, ultimately sending a text as she wasn’t seeing them.  The smoker quickly received the text and wrote her back, and they reunited within a minute or so.  The females separated from the guys and headed southward, allowing me to approach her butt and discover it was a Camel Crush.  Two years ago she was smoking a Camel Menthol, reinforcing my suspicion that it was probably the same girl.  The nonsmoking sister ventured to get a slice of pizza and I was able to get a couple of closer looks in passing at the smoker girl as she waited.  To call her the prettiest face at the fair last night that had a cigarette hanging out of it would be a massive understatement.  A night that had already produced its fair share of memorable sightings had really closed with a winner here, although I’m crossing my fingers I’ll see more of this one in the next three nights because she’s worthy of top-10 caliber status.

I left the dead fairgrounds at around 11:20, losing out on a good 40 minutes of fetishing that I had in the years prior to the early lights out at the midway.  With 23 new sightings on top of the 21 from Tuesday, I now have 44 sightings, positioning me modestly well to get to 100, especially if Jerrod Niemann draws a younger crowd on Thursday and Ted Nugent brings the desired demographic on Friday.  I don’t have much hope for The Charlie Daniels Band on Saturday though, so I better hope I run up the score in the next two nights.  There also remains lingering ambiguity as I write this mid-afternoon on Thursday whether my 19-year-old blond smoker will show up tonight.  She’s still being coy, which given her history leads me to believe she won’t.  It won’t break my heart if she doesn’t though as it’ll make it easier to score sightings.


Thursday Night

With only 15 new sightings, I had a pretty weak night numbers-wise which was disappointing because tonight’s grandstand act was contemporary “country” singer Jerrod Niemann who I figured would draw the youngest crowd this week.  If anything, the crowd was slightly smaller than Wednesday night, perhaps scared off by the forecasted rain even though that passed through by mid-afternoon with sunshine and pleasant temperatures in its aftermath.  Thankfully, I scored some extra-base hits among the new material with two sets of girls pretty much dominating the night and saving it from being a complete trainwreck.  I walked around for about 20 minutes after my arrival before my first sighting, observing the short lines at the gate for the concert and being unimpressed by the crowd generally, but thankfully the first sighting of the night perked up my mood in a major way…..

Last evening, I talked about a dark brunette beauty who appeared to be working for one of the food vendors who was slowly smoking a cigarette in the company of a male vendor, but between her slow smoking and the challenging logistics the sighting wasn’t all it could have been.  There’s nothing better than getting a second chance and my county fair often provides those second chances.  The dark brunette was sitting in the same spot with a freshly lit all-white tonight, only all by herself this time which helped me a little as I didn’t have to look past a dude in my line of vision to catch her smoking.  The previous night she had her hair in a bun and was wearing tight tan shorts, but her presentation this evening exceeded the previous evening as she now had her hair in a long, flowing ponytail that gave it more vibrancy, and had a pair of tight black leggings below her work T-shirt that showed off her curves just as nicely as the shorts the previous night.  She also had a pair of badass sunglasses at the beginning of the sighting but she removed them in a couple of moments as she was distracted attending to her phone.  As for the smoking, the slowness of her performance from the previous night was also a thing of the past as she was working the cigarette like the pro that she was….

I couldn’t sit too close without being obvious but wish now I had because even though I got photos, they’re not as close-up as I’d prefer.  I prepared my phone and snapped a couple of pics as she sat alone in the grass with cigarette in hand, her legs crossed Indian-style.  But when I looked her way a split second after snapping a photo, I caught her with the fairly fresh cigarette dangling casually from her lips.  Oh how I wish I could have gotten this on camera, but once I spotted it I couldn’t take my eyes off of it as she let that cigarette dangle there for a good 20 seconds before puckering up her lips and taking a fierce dangling drag, letting a huge stream of smoke flow from her nose with the cigarette still in her mouth.  Now this would be the highlight of the sighting but the rest of her performance was outstanding too with fierce drags, very long hold times, and sick exhales.  I wish my pics were closer-up but I got one fantastic one that nailed her exhale, a geyser of smoke spilling from her gorgeous face.  I hope I can enlarge the image and post it on my Tumblr gallery.  The location that was so challenging the previous night served me pretty well tonight and I watched her smoke the whole cigarette, crushing it out into the grass before standing up and revealing her hot body in full in those tight leggings.  She was holding the pack in her hands and it looked like either Marlboro Lights or the ML Special Blends.  I walked over to where she sat but since the fair workers seem to all sit here to smoke there were butts everywhere and I couldn’t make out which was hers.  It’s actually a good bet that several of them were hers!  I followed her this time and was able to see she works at a freshly squeezed lemonade stand which was very accessible in passing and allowed me to get a glance at her every time I walked past and keep tabs of her comings and goings.  Very beautiful face…..I’d guess she was mid-20s and her dark hair and features reminded me of a heavy-smoking beauty named Ashley I went out with two years ago, although this girl was about 50 pounds lighter than Ashley.  I had already seen the lemonade girl the previous evening so I couldn’t count her as a new sighting, but she had dramatically raised the stakes from the previous night and I was confident I’d be seeing more smoking from her.  I was right.

And lemonade girl wasn’t the only carnival worker who was smoking in that same grassy spot outside of the bathroom.  Three other 20-something blonds were smoking there as well in the half hour following the brunette’s great show.  Two of the three were repeaters from the previous night, but there was another blond wearing bright lipstick who worked at an onion rings stand who was wrapping her bright red lips around the filter of an all-white on a break too.  I got to watch most of her performance and while it didn’t hold a candle to the lemonade stand hottie, I still enjoyed it as she chatted with a nonsmoking friend before crushing the cigarette out and heading back to work.  Due to the lipstick stain, I had no problem IDing this butt as a Marlboro Light Special Blend.  I’d see this girl smoking again later in the night as well.

I went to the grandstand to take my seat for the concert around 7:50, disappointed by the paltry crowd both in the grandstand and in the beer gardens.  My unreliable 19-year-old temptress kept up her unreliable streak, having hedged earlier in the day when I asked if she was still coming.  It was pretty clear she wasn’t so I was annoyed sitting there waiting for the concert to start that I would not be making my own contribution to the smoky air quality at the county fair.  I sat and sat and sat before the concert and after it began waiting for sightings.  Finally a familiar face in the smoking area appeared with cigarette in hand.  Even though she now had mostly brown hair and a more nontraditional cut, there was no way the face of “Old Reliable” wouldn’t register with me.  Ironically, one of the first sightings I got of her was five years earlier at a concert by….Jerrod Niemann, the same guy performing tonight.  I have seen her every year since except 2015, sometimes multiple times, and she was back tonight with her polished style of nice drags and heavy downward projected exhales that produce a giant glob of smoke hovering in front of her chest and stomach.  She was wearing a brown top and a nice pair of leggings.  She was slender and sexy as hell in 2013 and 2014 but had put a little of her weight back since then.  She still looked great though, and one of the best things about Old Reliable is that she always seems to be the only smoker in her group, and whenever she’s with a guy, as she was tonight, he’s a nonsmoker.  He stood there waiting for his hottie girlfriend to finish her cigarette, before she crushed it out and they walked together into the concert.  She can usually be counted on for two or three smoke breaks before and during the concert, but that was the only time I saw her tonight.

I had a couple of cruel moments tonight and the first came when I looked over my shoulder to the fairgrounds right as the concert began and spotted a wave of smoke rolling out of the face of this gorgeous and wholesome blond in tight jeans who looked like Taylor Swift when she was 21.  I had no choice but to abandon my seat in the grandstand and race on out to get a better look.  Unfortunately when I did I saw she was in a cluster with two older women, one of them clearly her mother.  The middle-aged mother was just tossing a cigarette to the ground….while the daughter was holding a damned e-cigarette.  What I had seen in the grandstand wasn’t cigarette exhaust….it was a ridiculous haze of water vapor.  The presence of these things, particularly the “vape tanks”, remains far more relevant in high-tax Minnesota than I’m used to in Iowa.  And in fact I would see the 18-ish cutie who I saw both vaping and smoking a Parliament on Tuesday night again tonight, looking adorable again, but carrying around a vape tank rather than a cigarette.  The world is becoming a scary place for us fetishers.

Anyway, I would return to the concert moments after the wild goose chase with the vaper girl and after about 15 minutes, the beer gardens finally delivered.  There was a cluster of girls inside the fence who didn’t look even close to 21 from a distance but must have been since they got inside the beer gardens.  There were about five of them, and a fairly tall blond in a red plaid country girl top and jean shorts was smoking a cigarette.  She was too far away to fully appreciate but she looked incredible from afar.  Standing in front of her was another blond with almost identical attire.  She was shorter and a touch chubbier but from a distance she looked even hotter.  I was getting excited as she began digging around in her purse and, sure enough, out came a pack of cigarettes.  She inserted one in her mouth and carried on an impressive unlit talking dangle for a few seconds before lighting it.  Again, it was too far away to fully appreciate but she took long well-timed drags with solid hold times and careless exhales that probably nailed some of her friends in the face.  There was an even shorter brunette in the group with really tight jean shorts that looked like the most sexy girl of all in the friends’ group, but she never smoked.  Shortly after the shorter blond smoker finished her cigarette, she and the short nonsmoking brunette separated from the group and left the beer gardens.  They walked into the concert and it allowed me a better look at the smoker.  She was still attractive but didn’t have the IT factor up-close that she had while smoking from afar and considering she was probably only 21, she could definitely stand to lose about 15 pounds.  Within just a few minutes, the girl had poached two guys from the concert and walked back into the fairgrounds.  But what about that other blond smoker in the group who was still in the beer gardens??

I spotted her going inside the building structure at the beer gardens and re-emerge near the fence towards the end of the concert and I figured tobacco would likely be smoked again soon.  I left the concert to take advantage of the open bench in the smoking area and get a better look at her.  She didn’t disappoint on either front.  I had misjudged from afar expecting that the second, shorter blond smoker was more attractive….but this girl was by far hotter!  She was a bodacious blond beauty with a perky, infectious smile radiating from a beautiful face, and long smooth legs flowing from her perfect jean shorts and a perfectly toned bubble butt stretching the fabric on the back.  I took my bench at the exact moment she removed a cigarette from the pack (still couldn’t get the brand) and lit up.  Now my vantage point still wasn’t perfect because the two guys and girl (particularly the girl) she was chattering with always seemed to be standing in the way.  There would be occasional parting though, and on a few occasions the parting occurred as she placed the cigarette to her mouth and took dependably long drags, usually turning her head just a little to the left to release a tight plume of smoke entirely from her mouth.  I snapped a couple of pics but they were too far away with too many obstructions to be able to offer much.  Plus I had to be careful because I was supposed to be watching the screen showing the concert slightly to my right but was instead turning my head to the left rather conspicuously spying on this smoker beauty.  I got to watch her smoke the whole cigarette before she dropped it to the grass and I was very glad I left the grandstand to get an up-close sighting of this beauty.

The concert was almost over so I headed to the south side grandstand gate where I saw the recent high school grads having a smoke break towards the end of Wednesday night’s concert.  I wouldn’t get anything that good tonight but there were no fewer than three young mommies with strollers (two together, another separate) smoking.  These was all only “singles” in terms of quality but they were useful in bumping my numbers up when I needed all the help I could get.

The rest of the night was full of frustration, salvaged mildly by some of the evening’s previous stars.  Right after leaving the concert, I saw the brunette was not inside the stand for the lemonade and I correctly figured there was only one other place she could be.  Sure enough, she was off near the bathroom smoking again, only this time in the company of the guy from last night.  This posed another logistical challenge for me as I had to stand next to the dumpster to watch her smoke without getting detected, with him in the way for much of the sighting.  I noticed she was really getting touchy-feely with the guy and wondered if they were a couple.  I dismissed it as a hot girl getting off on stringing a guy along by handling him and making him think she was into him.  Either way, she was back to her frustratingly slow smoking pace in his presence.  I did get to see about four more of her trademark drags and cloudy exhales, including a shorter version of her epic dangling drag from the early evening.  It was such a pretty face to see such cigarette gymnastics emerge from.  But alas, the awkwardness of the setting forced me to walk away before I’d prefer to…

And only like a half hour later, I’d spot the same couple again on yet another smoke break.  This girl really has herself a problem…albeit of the most adorable variety.  And this time there was no ambiguity whether they were into one another as they were sitting there making out with freshly lit cigarettes in hand, tasting each other’s ashtray mouths.  I stood and watched the show for about a minute but since so little smoking was going on and my positioning was still bad, I aborted yet again, seeing the last of her tonight but being reasonably confident the next two nights will produce more sightings from her.  Thus far, she’s easily the most prolific smoker girl of this year’s FCF and has the potential to blow the doors off the place with an up-close, prolonged, or storyline sighting.

Beyond lemonade stand girl, it was a pretty bleak picture for the two hours after the grandstand show.  At one point, at the back of the midway, I saw a huddle of five teens, three girls and two guys, who were definitely underage and I saw exhales from what definitely looked like cigarette smoke rather than a vaporizer….but when I settled in to enjoy the show there was nothing left to see.  And I couldn’t see any evidence that a cigarette had been smoked when they left and I foraged for butts either.  Maybe there were just passing a vaporizer around.  I’ll never know.  And on a set of tables near the food vendors, there was a late teen smoking couple where the girl was only modestly attractive, but they were constantly in the presence of other genuine babes coming and going to socialize.  But none of the ever babes ever lit up.  It was a tough night.

Thankfully I’d get one brief final act from some old favorites.  On another series of benches closer to the grandstand I saw a mixed-gender cluster that included the two identically dressed country girls in red plaid tops and jean shorts from inside the beer gardens during the concert.  There were eight people in the cluster and only two of them were smokers….the two country girls.  Unfortunately, the prettier blond was on her last drag when I spotted her and way too quickly leaned down to stub out the butt and then walked over to the garbage can to toss it, managing to deny me even a butt ID.  Thankfully the shorter, chubbier girl was still smoking and I found an adjacent bench to watch the show and eavesdrop on their conversation.  The shorter girl was quietly tending to her cigarette but the taller girl who had just finished hers mentioned something about “my daughter” which blew my mind.  I’m guessing she was 21 or 22 so obviously it was biologically possible but the last thing I figured checking out this girl’s hot body and innocent face was that she was a mother.  Despite the darkness I was sitting close enough that I was able to take a frontal pic of her.  It’s still not great but I did okay given the challenging lighting.  The shorter girl crushed out her cigarette and, unlike the taller girl, just left the all-white butt lie there.  The group was talking about hitting the bars and quickly took off.  The shorter girl left a Camel Light Menthol butt behind as I watched the hot asses of the girl drift to the southern horizon on the nearly empty fairgrounds.

It was after 11 and, as is typical in the era of the midway going dark at 11, the place was emptying out quickly.  I’d get one last sighting as I approached the exit and saw another mixed-gender cluster of young adults with cigarettes being lit by nearly all.  I quickly noticed that Tuesday night’s pretty but jumbo-assed brunette was one of the girls.  The other was a new face though, a slender long-haired blond in her early 20s wearing a white tanktop and tight jeans.  I had to be careful lurking from afar to avoid the heavier girl who has busted me before from noticing me again, but I found a good spot standing around a corner where I was able to exclusively watch the blond.  Nothing particularly memorable about her performance but she had nicely paced drags with solid exhales.

I left the grounds moments later with three out of five nights accounted for and 59 total sightings, putting me officially behind schedule for getting to 100.  I’m holding out some hope for a decent demographic turnout for Ted Nugent Friday night, but fear most of the smoker gals could be in their 50s so Friday could theoretically be a disappointment too.  Given that the even more demographically disastrous Charlie Daniels Band is scheduled for Saturday, Friday is my last hope for a really good night.  Thus far, the 2016 local county fair is my weakest in years in terms of memorable standout sightings.


Friday Night

If the 2016 local county fair was gonna find some salvation after a decidedly below-average first three days, Friday was gonna be the day with vulgar 70s rocker Ted Nugent coming to the grandstand and promising to draw a large and redneck crowd.  The only question for me was whether the crowd would be mostly people over 40.  Unfortunately, that was generally the case as the crowd skewed older.  I saw my share of smoking, but definitely no more than normal from attractive young females. I busted my butt to stitch together 20 sightings over the course of the night, which was very disappointing.  But it could have been much worse as the night was sidetracked moments after it began when the phone call I feared was coming came…..buddy Corey!

Corey has been an on-again, off-again mainstay at my county fairs for more than 15 years now and deserves some credit for inadvertently leading me straight to some incredible sightings over the years, but having him as my shadow tonight was gonna serious hurt my game, especially since I wasn’t going to the Nugent concert and neither was he.  He picked up some food and we sat together and caught up, my eyes darting around the crowd in hopes of finding nonexistent smokers.  Then his cell phone rang and another bit of double-edged sword news came from the call.  Corey’s brother Jason was in town and at the fair.  I hadn’t seen him in four years and I was better friends with Jason than Corey in high school.  We were gonna walk over and talk to him.  Nice as it would be to catch up, my night of fetishing was in serious jeopardy now.

I bantered with Jason about 20 minutes before he had to meet someone else and then it was just Corey and I, and he was very clearly gonna shadow me for some time yet to come.  I stitched together a few mediocre sightings as we walked, thankfully nothing epic that Corey’s presence sidelined me from observing, but it was killing me that there so many people on the grounds and I was not in a position to dedicate my night to sightings.  Worse yet, Corey is a former 4-Her and knows a ton of people who he sees at the fair, many of whom want to stop to chat for extended periods.  When we weren’t stuck chatting with people, we were trudging through buildings or just wandering aimlessly around the grounds, the latter of which at least gave me opportunity to look.  Fortunately, he’s easy to manipulate and I got him to check out the gates near the grandstand where Nugent was performing and where smokers would theoretically be lingering.  Unfortunately there was little to no smoking to observe.

But at one point as we walked past the entrance to the beer gardens I caught a glimpse of a trio of early 20s gals in the presence of a guy and two of the young ladies were lighting up cigarettes.  It was clear upon closer inspection these would be two of the biggest hotties of the night.  The first one I noticed was a light brunette in a pale blue top and jeans, but the second girl who was lighting up was this leggy, long-haired blond who had to have been six feet tall, her shapely ass advertised in an insanely sexy pair of fire engine red short shorts.  I looked over my shoulder as I passed her, ambivalent to whether Corey knew I was staring at her or not, and watched her dangle the long freshly lit cigarette in her mouth and take a dangling drag.  Oh my dear God!  Was Corey really gonna deny me a full viewing of this incredible sighting?  It sure looked like he was….but then he threw me a lifeline, telling me he was gonna head to the dairy truck to get a milkshake.  I thought quickly on my feet and told him I was gonna get a $1 7UP from a vendor right near where I was.  I wasn’t ordinarily planning to get a 7UP but I invented that excuse on the fly as an excuse to have Corey come back and meet me there, giving me a few minutes to see this sighting play out….

I quickly hustled on back to the sighting location just in time to see the tall blond in the red shorts handing a much shorter early 20s gal her cigarette, turning this into a much-needed three-for-the-price-of-one sighting.  The tall blond got her hands on the cigarette again and placed the cigarette between her lips for another sexy dangling drag.  I just had to get a photo of this and despite the darkness managed a not-too-bad one, albeit not in mid-drag.  Unfortunately, the shorter girl wanted some junk food and beckoned the tall blond to finish the cigarette before it was even half gone in order to approach the food vendor.  I was disappointed that this would-be classic ended so quickly, but thankfully the original light brunette on saw lighting up on the first pass was still smoking, so I lingered for a couple more minutes and watched her performance.  Neither her performance nor her presentation were as awesome as the tall blond’s but she was solid and a good consolation prize.  After witnessing a few drags, I got my 7UP before Corey returned with his milkshake.  While I was still stuck with Corey joined at the hip, I at least managed to salvage a better sighting out of the best girls I’d seen thus far tonight.  My task now was to bore him to tears wandering around aimlessly until he decided it was time to go home….and thankfully it worked.  Within the next 15 minutes, Corey was claiming he’d better get going.  Needless to say I didn’t protest!  It was 9:37 and the Ted Nugent concert was still going.  I could still salvage two more hours of this night and was excited about what I hoped would still be a cavalcade of additional sightings.

Unfortunately it didn’t really work out that way.  I figured Corey had probably cost me some sightings up until that point, and it’s possible he did, but honestly it probably wasn’t many as the next half hour would prove that at least among the demographics I was seeking, there just wasn’t much smoking to be found.  And I had a quandary as right as the huge crowd from the Nugent concert was departing, my lemonade stand girl was making her first appearance of night, and she was alone!  My findings thus far persisted as solo sightings of lemonade stand girl were fantastic while group sightings of her were frustrating as hell because she smoked at a tortoise’s speed.  No such problem here as I got a full cigarette sighting with nicely paced drags, including a couple of brief dangling drags, solid hold times, and stunningly gorgeous exhales.  The initial blast of smoke escaped her beautiful face and was followed up by a great residual exhale from both mouth and nose.  On occasion, even the third breath would produce some final smoke spillage.  There was no inconspicuous location to observe this greatness but hovering next to a dumpster and watching her from slightly behind at a side angle served me well.  She was wearing tan leggings tonight and pulling them off just as well as the black leggings the night before.  It was a great seven-minute show and every drag was a party for the eyes, featuring some variation of that residual spillage on nearly every drag. She got up and returned to the lemonade stand when she was done, and an hour or so later I’d see her out smoking again, although this time with her favorite boy of the carnival, resting her pretty head on his shoulder and smoking at a glacial pace again.  For those keeping score, that puts her up to six cigarettes over three nights so far at the county fair, making her one of the most prolific addicts of recent years and raising her stock significantly for my year-end countdown.  I also officially got the brand as I was able to ID the butt she discarded after that first sighting.  It was a Marlboro Light 100.

As for the rest of the night….not much.  I stitched together a few sightings here and there but walking past huddles of teenagers and almost never seeing smoking was depressing and made nostalgic for even five years ago when nearly every evening produced memorable underage smoker girl sightings.  I didn’t get rolled completely on the teen front on Friday night though as I noticed a cluster of three 18ish girls hovering beside this ride and two of them had cigarettes. One was barely attractive enough to count, but the other was more interesting, with long red hair flowing over her shoulders and down her back, decked out in a ball cap, blue T-shirt and jeans covering her slender lower body.  Don’t get me wrong…she was only about a 6 beauty wise but was still a solid find for a girl her age these days.  Their positioning made it nearly impossible to watch but the smoker girl cooperated by walking up to the carnie operating the ride, cigarette in hand, to ask him a question of some sort.  I wasn’t in a position to continue watching so I kept walking, but about a half hour or so later  I’d see the same redhead sitting on a berm near the grandstand with the third girl of the group, a light-complected African-American girl, and the redhead was smoking a second cigarette.  Nicer yet, the black girl held out her hand to request a drag and received one, turning this into an ebony and ivory two-for-one.  I’d only rate this as a two-base hit overall as the girls weren’t attractive enough to fully whet my whistle, but the presence of cigarette in teen girls hands this day and age in the state of Minnesota is a benchmark worth taking note of.

The Tom Thumb mini-donuts stand delivered again with the two gals working there, including my favorite cutie, were out smoking behind the stand again after 11:00.  My 18ish dark blond who had been wearing her hair in braids hanging over her shoulders had her hair down tonight and it was at least as nice of a look for her as the braids.  Better yet, whatever she was wearing tonight didn’t make her look as husky as what she’d been wearing the previous night, and her form looked perfectly fine while sitting there on a lawn chair, cigarette in hand, her legs folded in her jeans in a way that really turned me on.  Turning me on even more, however, was her smoking as her technique was only a tick or two less spectacular than the lemonade stand girl, her face melting into her intense drags followed by consistently cloudy exhales that filled a few square feet of space in front of her with a toxic haze.  The only downside is that she seemed to turn her head my way every time she took a drag to the point of doubtlessly noticing me watching from the bench I sat on.  I made it through her whole cigarette but had to be extra cautious towards the end to avoid being busted without a shadow of a doubt and missed a couple of her stellar exhales.  Her cigarette count on the week thus far is now three.

My last sighting of the night came on the other side–the front side–of the Tom Thumb mini-donut truck as a cluster of early 20-somethings hovered, including a familiar face from previous years that was quite attractive but unfortunately corrupted by a noticeable and unflattering nose piercing.  It was still better than a tattoo, however, and she made up for it by wearing a black leather jacket on the cool early August Minnesota evening.  Her reddish-brown hair crashed onto the shoulders of that leather jacket and she was rocking it so nicely it almost made me nostalgic for fall…almost!  She was in a mixed-gender cluster of about seven people and she was the only smoker.  The positioning was horrible but I was able to catch about three drags.  Nothing extraordinary compared to either the lemonade girl or the Tom Thumb donuts girl, but a good sendoff for me on a night that was by all accounts a little disappointing.

There was little evidence that Ted Nugent’s show boosted my numbers much tonight and with only 20 sightings this evening, that puts me at 79 for the fair.  Unless there’s an unexpected flourish on Saturday night when the older-skewing Charlie Daniels Band takes the stage, I’m not well-positioned to hit the century mark, a metric I’ve reached every year since 2009 which represents the modern era of my aggressive sightings safaris at the local county fair.  And considering buddy Corey and his wife will be tagging along Saturday night, that’s a second strike against me. Hope springs eternal though and I definitely will give it my all to bring home a sightings gold medal on this opening weekend of the Olympics.


Saturday Night

I went into Saturday evening at the local county fair with low expectations, lacking confidence that several hours of accompaniment of my friend and his wife combined with the demographically unfriendly grandstand act of The Charlie Daniels Band would produce one of my worst sightings nights the county fair in years.  And while it wasn’t a record-breaking night by any means, I will say that Charlie Daniels somehow, some way managed to produce the smoker-friendly crowd that Ted Nugent didn’t the night before, and that included at least some younger females.  To be clear, I only got 19 new sightings and fell short of 100 sightings for the first time since 2008 when I probably logged in only half as much time fetishing as I have in most of the years since.  But I will say I ended the 2016 local county fair with more of a flourish than anticipated.

I arrived at the fairgrounds at about 6:15 and hoped to scavenge the grounds for smoker hotties as long as possible before Corey and his wife beckoned me.  No such luck.  I hadn’t been there five minutes before I ran into them and figured I had effectively forfeited the next four hours of the night.  Indeed, for well over an hour we spent more time in sightings-free buildings and livestock barns than we did outside.  In passing, I stumbled upon a couple of early 30s gals smoking but that was all I’d get before heading up to the grandstand.  Thankfully, I’m able to con my way into taking my favorite seat in the grandstand overlooking the smoking area, even though I didn’t figure it would be particularly worthwhile tonight.  From there, Corey’s wife wanted to hear the latest batch of crazy dating stories I’ve accrued in the past year as she does every year, so I was distracted for the next 20 minutes or so with storytelling.  But when story time ended, the strangest thing happened….I started scoring sightings in the smoking area and across the fence in the beer gardens before the concert started!

The first happened in the beer gardens as I saw a 20-something blond of relatively average attractiveness pulling out a pack of Marlboro Lights from her purse.  She was in the company of another blond and a middle-aged guy I assumed was her father.  The other blond I originally figured was her mother.  The daughter passed around cigarettes to the father and the other blond before taking one out for herself and lighting up.  I thought it was a cute family dynamic from the get-go but as the other blond turned around, I was even more impressed–and surprised–as I discovered she was also in her late 20s or early 30s.  Hot damn!  She was probably the other blond’s sister, not her mother.  Watching this trio of smokers, it struck me that I was probably looking at a 60-ish father out for a night of drinking and smoking with his two blond daughters.  Both women were only moderately attractive and deep enough inside the beer gardens crowd that I couldn’t fully appreciate the performance, but the dynamic here was certainly a fun one.

I figured that might be the best I could expect for the entirety of the concert, but only about a minute later I’d be proven wrong in the most delicious way.  I often take note of attractive young females emerging from the front section grandstand seating area, and in the past have always hoped with breathless anticipation that they’ll come out to smoke a cigarette.  I’ve become more cynical over the years, hardened by the realization that 99% of these gals are simply heading out to pick up food or a beverage or go to the bathroom.  For some reason though, I couldn’t take my eyes off of this girl-next-door mid-20s light brunette decked out in a red plaid blouse and torn blue jeans as she emerged from the front seats towards the gate all by herself.  I hung onto a vague intuition that she was a smoker as she walked closer to the gate, and before she even got to the gate, she confirmed my suspicion by removing a pack of Marlboro Reds from her purse and extracting one.  It had been a few years since I witnessed this series of events play out and it was a thrilling throwback to a scenario that used to happen every night not so long ago.  And there was just something about this girl that embodies Everygirl USA.  She was very pretty but oozed a low maintenance accessibility about her from her thrift store wardrobe to the way she carried herself.  This was the kind of girl you could bring home to mom and dad….provided they could handle her smoky stench!

Best of all, she sat down at the table in the smoking area to put on the show, a show that seemed poised to be a five-star classic early on as she placed the cigarette in her lips and fired up, dangling the lit cigarette from her mouth for about 15 seconds while looking at her phone and then dangling drag her first serious drag.  Now that’s how it’s done, son!  I was settling in for an incredible show but got a most unfortunate distraction as some haggard old lady walked right in front of her and requested a light.  My brunette lit the old lady up and I wondered for a minute if they mother and daughter, although it seemed impossible this pair would be from the same gene pool.  The girl was on her phone but the old lady still seemed to be engaging with her, but worst of all for me, she was standing right out in front of me, denying me a full sighting of perhaps the most intriguing girl of the fair thus far.  All I could see was the frequently timed exhales gushing from where the brunette’s face was, hidden behind this old lady standing in the damn way.  Finally the two broke apart but the damage was done as the brunette was down to her last couple of drags.  She powered through the cigarette in short order and I was surprised the show ended that quickly, but there she was crushing it order with a haze of smoke hovering in front of this most unlikely wholesome face and then walking back into the concert.  I was grateful for that opening dangle and dangling drag but wanted so much more out of this.  You never know though…perhaps I haven’t seen the last of this girl.

The concert started and I was surprised by how many smokers were lingering out in the smoking area, more tonight than the other four nights combined at this year’s fair.  Even Corey mentioned how he can’t believe how many people still smoke given how expensive it is (the cheapest pack in Minnesota will set you back something like $7.50).  A few of the smokers were of the key demographic, but the girl who ran circles around the others came only about five minutes after the show started.  This young couple wearing matching camouflage sweatshirts (only in Minnesota does it get cold enough on an early August night to be sweatshirt weather) and camouflage hats, with the girl in a pair of tight-fitting dark blue jeans that caressed her form nicely, pushing a stroller with a child who looked one year old, give or take a couple of months.  I found it suspicious that they wheeled the stroller into the smoking area.  The thought crossed my mind that one or both were smokers, but the girl was at most 21 and had a presentation that made her seem far younger, with a baby face and her dark brown hair hanging over her shoulders in braids.  Ten years ago, I’d never have hesitated in suspecting she was a smoker but today I was a little more hesitant in letting myself believe she was.  But lo and behold, the boyfriend removed a pack of Newports stored somewhere in the stroller and got two out, one for himself and one for the brunette Pippi Longstocking clone.  It was such a thrill to see this cutie light up.

Her smoking style was about as average as it gets, but she spiced things up by dancing to the music and engaging with the infant in the stroller, making googly eyes and faces at the child with cigarette in hand, often while in the middle of an exhale.  She made the cigarette last quite a while as her drags were modest and drug out, but considering I had a front row seat and nowhere to go I was fine with that, still surprised this day and age to see such an unapologetic smoking show from a sweet-looking young mommy that lasted several minutes.  It reminded me of the crazy hot Marlboro Light Menthol blond dancing to George Jones while smoking and spitting in front of her young son back in 2010 (FCF #49).  Over the course of that first cigarette, three other people spilled out into the immediate area that were obviously connected to the young parents.  It seemed likely that I was looking at a family of smokers, something very rarely seen in such a public setting this day and age, at least where one attractive young female is involved.  And the best part is, this couple with the stroller stayed out there the entirety of the 90-minute Charlie Daniels concert, and more cigarettes were in their near future…

About 10 minutes after finishing her first cigarette, the brunette with the braids lit another one.  That camouflage cap would occasionally come off, presumably just to help her make a hair adjustment, and she was the second girl just tonight in the smoking area that gave off an adorably low maintenance girl next door image, particularly as she sang and danced with the baby to the music, dragging from her cigarette, and blowing the cigarette out of the right side of her mouth to avoid filling the child’s airspace directly up with her exhaled carcinogens, not that it mattered much given that there were smokers surrounding the stroller filling the whole area up with cancerous smoke.  She smoked the majority of the cigarette and then unfortunately handed it to the boyfriend to finish it off.  About two-thirds into the concert, the boyfriend lit up another cigarette and after smoking about half of it, passed the third cigarette to the girl to finish off.  That would be the end of her saga but it was still amazing that this young couple basically forfeited their seats at this concert right away to spend the entire 90 minutes standing in the smoking area for the sole purpose of tobacco freedom.  I couldn’t tell if the child in the stroller was a little boy or a little girl but either way it’s a good bet the child will either end up a smoker him or herself…or a smoking fetisher with a mommy this unashamedly into smoky performance art.

Now for that third cigarette, I was a little too distracted to pay much attention to the braided-hair brunette as she was being outshone by a competitor.  About two-thirds into the concert, a familiar face emerged from the grandstand….the girl-next-door brunette in the red plaid blouse and torn-up jeans.  I was so excited that she was probably gonna be smoking another cigarette but then I saw her keep walking past the smoking area and my heart sank as she walked up to a food vendor instead.  But the eternal flame of hope remained as a minute later she was seated on the same bench she sat earlier and smoked her first cigarette, now eating a barbecue pork sandwich she had just purchased from the food vendor.  I felt pretty confident a cigarette would be smoked as soon as she was done eating.  Unfortunately, I’d have another moment of panic as she approached the fence as if going back into the concert, but instead went into the port-a-potty, allowing me a glance at her nice ass in those torn-up jeans before she closed the port-a-potty door.  I waited patiently for about a minute before she came out, and this time she was for real, opening up her purse and revealing that beautiful red and white pack of Marlboro Reds once again, firing one up and putting on the most breathtaking smoking performance I’ve seen thus far in 2016, only this time there was no grumpy old lady standing in front of her denying me the needed visuals!

She actually walked over towards the young mommy in the stroller, herself consuming her third cigarette during the concert, but getting absolutely obliterating on style points by the older country girl.  It was literally a girl versus a woman in this unsanctioned contest with the brunette taking absolutely manic six-second drags, the cherry of her cigarette lighting up to the size and hue of a police siren in your rearview mirror.  When she finally got done dragging, almost every time, she removed the cigarette from her mouth and tapped the ash, leading to a shower of bright sparks dropping to the ground reminiscent of 4th of July sparklers.  It was a mesmerizing routine and it was happening in fast forward as her drags came one after another after another, each more ferocious than the last, and always managing to produce an ash shower at the same time as she released tight plumes of exhaled smoke several inches in front of her face in perfectly straight lines.  The only downside to this show was that is was going so fast, as she was consuming this cigarette in near-record speed, either because she was so desperate for her nicotine fix or because she really wanted to get back in to see Charlie Daniels.  Either way, within three minutes she was finishing up the cigarette with an honest-to-God rapid succession triple-hit drag that probably gave her third-degree burns on her poor lips.  She crushed out the cigarette and I watched her cute denim-clad backside hustle on back into the show, unfortunately never to see her again.  It was without question my single best individual sighting of the county fair this year, and a great vindication from the mostly lost sighting from her an hour earlier, but I’m still undecided whether she’ll win the round overall this year because of a certain prolific lemonade stand worker competitor we haven’t seen the last of!

The Charlie Daniels concert was very uneven.  I was pleased that he didn’t preach politics from the stage as I feared he would and the man still plays a wicked fiddle and has a great stage presence with some humorous storytelling, but he’s nearly 80 years old now and required no fewer than four breaks during the 90-minute show when other members of his band took over and held court as Charlie rested.  Corey, his wife, and I all thought it might be time for him to hang it up.  And speaking of hanging it up, as the concert ended, I kept my fingers crossed that Corey and Sarah would immediately take off, and thankfully they did.  It was just after 10:00 and I had 12 sightings on the night and about an hour to go.  With the size of the crowd, it seemed somewhat promising, but those late night sightings hauls just ain’t what they used to be….

Thankfully within minutes of the concert’s departure, I’d see a trio of two young gals and a guy who I had seen earlier at the show, only this time eating fair food and smoking cigarettes.  One gal was a light brunette and only modestly attractive, and her cigarette was almost finished.  But the other gal, a hot long-haired mid-20s blond in a white top and tight jeans, had been eating a corn dog and she was just lighting hers up.  They walked onto the crowded streets as blondie was holding her cigarette in one hand and her half-eaten corn dog that she must have tired of quickly in the other hand.  It seemed she was tending to one of the two items far more than the other as she progressed, and it wasn’t the corn dog getting all the attention.  I watched four nice drags as she walked with careless exhales filling the air and forcing dozens of fairgoers to choke on them.  I had planned to follow this till its end until one of the other two said “I think we parked back there”, pointing to a dark walkway leading to a parking lot behind the vendors where I wouldn’t be able to follow easily and even if I did I wouldn’t get to see anything else given the darkness back there.  I felt good about seeing what I did as they walked off out of sight though and hoping it foreshadowed a smoky hour after the concert.

It didn’t, but that’s not to say a known nicotine entity wouldn’t deliver for me one last time though.  I was walking near the main bathroom structure on the grounds and found two people approaching…..the lemonade stand brunette beauty and her loverboy.  And I happened to catch her in mid-dangle as she walked, puckering up her lips on her long freshly lit Marlboro Light 100 for another of her incredible dangling drags.  I’ve always been fascinated when smoking comes this naturally to girls…when it’s clear that it is so ingrained in their lifestyle that it effectively becomes another part of their anatomy.  I knew that since this girl was in the company of the guy it would ultimately be another slow smoking show and it eventually became one, but not without one more display of epic bells and whistles once the two of them sat down in their favorite spot on the grass.  She was leaning back and forth, using her black leggings-draped ass as the fulcrum for her anatomical see-saw, her cigarette dangling from her mouth for a good 30 seconds that offered up the entire anthology of yumminess that comes with dangles, including a dangling drag, a dangling exhale with blasts of smoke gushing from her nose while the cigarette still hung in her mouth, and then a talking dangle as she briefly conversed with the boyfriend with the smoke still wisping from her beautiful face.  Unfortunately, as soon as the cigarette was removed from her mouth, everything memorable about this sighting was past tense as she reverted to a conventional smoking style and did it agonizingly slowly while chatting with the guy.  I found a bench a fair distance away and watched what I could, but nothing else even remotely lived up to her opening histrionics.  About a half hour later, the same two were out smoking another round of cigarettes.  This was her seventh cigarette that I was witness to during the duration of the local county fair, and bear in mind that it was late Wednesday before I even saw her the first time!  Seven cigarettes is right up there with the highest cigarette count I’ve ever seen from an FCF girl over the course of five days, and it’s just incredible that it came from such a gorgeous girl who, again, I got a few photos of, but I’m hoping I can blow them up so that they can be more appreciated.

My Tom Thumb mini-donuts girl was nowhere to be seen Saturday night but a new girl was hovering behind there where smoke breaks so typically occur.  She was a 21ish light brunette in short pale blue cutoffs in the presence of a guy who was smoking but I didn’t see a cigarette on her….but then she leaned over and crushed out a cigarette hidden in her right hand on some outlet vent.  I missed her entire show….which was especially heartbreaking when I saw her gorgeous face, one of the prettiest of the night or really the entire fair.  At one level I was pleased to see she was a smoker and that I got to count her as such, but still felt robbed for not getting a real sighting from her.

But I was about to have the cruelest and most depressing finding of the night as I made a loop through the shrinking huddle of teenagers in the middle of the fairgrounds as 11:30 approached and the night was quickly approaching its inevitable end.  All week I had seen late teen and early 20s guys “vaping” from their ridiculous vape tanks in the middle of these huddles.  The upside was that I wasn’t seeing many girls doing it, but the downside was the girls weren’t smoking real cigarettes either.  That dynamic changed Saturday night when I saw a mixed-gender cluster with huge water vapor clouds rising above their heads and figured it must just be the guys again, but as I got closer I saw that two of the girls had vape tanks of their own they were dragging from.  But these weren’t just normal girls…these were gorgeous homecoming queen beauty caliber 17-18-year-olds, one a tall dark blond with short light blue cutoffs and very long legs, the other an even more gorgeous platinum blond in a black blouse and tight white shorts that fit her ass just perfectly.  I hung my head in sorrow thinking how wonderful it would have been to send the local county fair off with a sighting of these girls smoking, but instead they were hitting on those vile e-cigarettes.  I hadn’t seen enough girls “vaping” to go into complete panic mode, but it remains more relevant than I anticipated about a year ago when I started seeing signs of their attrition.

It was not a pleasant 10 minutes or so as I knew my county fair experience for the year was about to end, but I convinced myself to make one final pass through that teen huddle on my way back to my car.  I eyeballed the same group of guys and girls, only this time, the tall dark blond had a real cigarette between her fingers!  Hallelujah!  I was bracing myself for the sighting of the fair as she was the first teen girl of the gorgeous pedigree I had seen with an actual cigarette so far this year, and girls like that represent the top of the sightings pyramid for me.  I was checking out her tall, slender body and hovering awkwardly in the background waiting to see a drag…and waiting…and waiting.  She was damn slow but when she finally got around to placing that long cork-filter cigarette between her lips, sweet Jesus was it worth it as she took a very nice drag and then proceeded to exhale directly ahead of her face into a huddle of five people.  Not one person in that huddle was spared a direct frontal assault from her exhale, but one guy really took the brunt of it and may have lost partial vision because of it!  She was bubbly and lively and floating around in a way that made my job even harder, but I’d only see one more drag.  It came with another nice exhale although this one didn’t directly torture as many people.  Still, this just had to be my sighting of the year, I kept thinking, waiting to see it play out.  But then it went awry and she handed the cigarette off to one of the guys who proceeded to finish it off in about 60 seconds with pacing about 10 times faster than hers.  Obviously this sighting was a mixed bag and didn’t last long enough to reach my top-tier for the fair.  And the blond friend in the white shorts intrigued me most never did partake in anything more than her e-cigarette.  Still it was exactly the kind of pick-me-up I needed to see that this girl may have taken the edge off with her e-cigarette but needed a hit on the hard stuff to fully satisfy her bodily urges.  I turned around after this ninth-inning save and called it a fair.

The downside is I finished the fair with 98 sightings, below 100 for the first time in the modern era even in a year where the crowds were decent and the weather provided no obstacles.  Smoking is clearly down and continuing to decline among preferred demographics.  My local county fair had been registering well above its weight in terms of the quality and quantity of sightings it was producing for several glorious years, but in the middle of 2014 it started coming back down to Earth and hasn’t had much in the way of truly glorious moments since.  But I must confess that this year’s body of work, despite the slow start, was pretty solid, probably a tick above the disappointing 2015 at the county fair.  There were two bona fide superstars and a few others who will likely have a home in my year-end top-25.  I don’t like the long-term downward trajectory but it’s unsurprising and perhaps less devastating than one would expect giving collapsing smoking rates reported in multiple surveys.  I still have a brief jaunt into the grounds on the afternoon on Sunday before I’m officially done, but history suggests if I get even one sighting during that half hour final denouement I’ll consider myself lucky.



Partly as a function of my grandma living across the street from the fairgrounds and my mom and I visiting her on the Sunday afternoon that marks the official final day of the county fair, I typically get a final half hour at the fair on Sunday when I walk across the street to see what’s shaking.  I knew the odds were long that I’d score the two additional sightings needed to get to 100 this year and I didn’t.  But I wasn’t shut out of sightings completely as some old favorites were there smoking another round.  The lemonade stand brunette and her loverboy were smoking again, making this the eighth cigarette I saw her smoke at this year’s fair which I suspect is a record at my local fair.  I didn’t really mention how the three blond fair workers who also smoked seemed to be in that spot having a cigarette fairly regularly too, simply because the brunette had exponentially more IT factor than the blonds.  Whatever the case, two of the blonds were there smoking with the brunette and the guy, and there were passing around a half a watermelon they were picking at while smoking.  As usual when my brunette is smoking in the company of others, it was slow going but I sat at the tables and watched from afar for a few minutes.  That was all I got on Sunday, but it was a nice addendum.  It’s now official though that I missed the 100-sighting threshold, finishing the 2016 FCF with 98.  I’m still rating it as a modestly successful fair but there are without question troubling trendlines that seem to get just a little more troubling every year.




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All Other Fairgrounds Overview

I’m adding this new category to account for additional fairgrounds sightings venues beyond my original three.  It started in 2013 when I stumbled into the Brown County Fair in Aberdeen, South Dakota, when I happened to be staying overnight there on a night the fair was on and scored some memorable sightings.  As of 2015, I made my maiden voyage to the Missouri State Fair and scored one of the best sightings of my life.  It was clear a new category had to be added to account for these new venues and to make room for future sightings I score from fairgrounds outside my Big Three.  For instance, I plan to return to Sedalia, Missouri in August 2016 for another day at the Missouri State Fair.  And in 2017, the plan is to visit the Indiana State Fair for the first time, having heard reports that that is a pretty big state fair in a generally smoker friendly state.  At some point, I’ll return to Aberdeen, South Dakota, as well.  I’m having a helluva time adding a new category heading onto Word Press homepage where “Top-4 All Other Fairgrounds Sightings” appears with all the other categories though and am hoping someone familiar with Word Press can help me out.  Thanks in advance….and enjoy the new material….

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AOF #1. The Show Me State Welcomes Me With Daylong Chainsmoking Show By Distinctive Sexpot Trio

I had been to the 2015 Missouri State Fair for an about an hour and noon came and went as I got the lay of the land of their fairgrounds without a single sighting under my belt thus far when I was ultimately taken aback by how dramatic of an entrance this fairgrounds was about to make.  Walking by the livestock barns and frustrated by the not-exactly-predicted intense heat and the lack of sightings, my day and indeed my entire summer took an abrupt turn for the better when my eyes focused on the approaching image.  If you’re a fetisher, you are lucky to get one image per summer as fantastic as this.  Twenty yards in front of me was a trio of 21-22ish summer hotties in tanktops and shorts–a visually perfect cluster of feminine youth in the summertime without a single defiling tattoo amongst the three of them–all wielding freshly lit cigarettes between their fingers.  I quickly readied my camera to capture this moment.  Aligning a perfect photo while not looking at the camera and thus telling on yourself is never easy so none of the dozen or so photos I would get of them was perfect, but I still feel that I successfully immortalized their images…..

Instantly, this sighting took me back to my best Minnesota State Fair sighting of 2014, with three sexy smoker girls that each had a distinct visual identity to differentiate them.  In my Missouri trio, there was a long-haired blond with sunglasses in a red blouse with white shorts.  She was hot as hell, but in this group passed for the plain jane.  There was a perfectly coiffed sexpot dark brunette with long, curly hair, a revealing white tanktop and denim cutoffs showing off tremendous flesh and a beautiful chiseled body that flowed into a pair of cowgirl boots.  And then there was the third girl who immediately captured my imagination best, a slender light brunette with shoulder length hair wearing a pink blouse and short jean shorts with cowgirl boots, who had the most wholesome and heartwarming face I’ve seen all season, albeit with a faint hint of hardening suggesting she’s been a heavy smoker for a while.  Nearly five hours worth of driving to Sedalia, Missouri, was already worthwhile and I hadn’t even seen them smoke yet!

After they walked past me, I turned around, watching them from behind while taking rear snapshots of their asses and the cigarettes between their fingers.  Doing so I was able to see their smoking technique, all of which were vaguely similar at least in this context of walking with their backs to a decent south breeze which scattered their cloudy exhales northward.  This vantage point behind them was also perfect for allowing me to see the reactions of others walking past them.  Virtually everybody took note of this sexy young trio, and judging from the direction their eyes went, they also took note of the cigarettes in their hands.  One woman seemed visibly annoyed and shook her head upon observing all three girls were smoking.  I also took note that my wholesome light brunette had a pack of Camel Light Menthols stuffed into her jean shorts, ready to do business for the entire day!  These girls were nothing if not cooperative on Saturday and came to a stop at a perfect vantage point where I could lean against a fence and snap more pics as they stood there smoking.  It was only when the girls stopped that I realized this steam roller had a fourth wheel….a clean-cut college age guy….but you’ll forgive me for not putting his presence together with this trio of girls for a variety of reasons, the most substantial being he was not smoking himself!  This man, folks, is the luckiest nonsmoking guy on the planet and I hope he realizes that!  I got the sense that the group, especially the guy, was wise to me but if ever there was a time for taking risks, this was it as I snapped several more pics from this sedentary location and watched these beauties continue smoking.  Just fantastic!

The blond finished her cigarette first and appeared heading for the dairy cattle barn of all places, dropping her cigarette to the pavement without crushing it out and then vanishing inside that dairy building.  The rest of the group had other destinations to visit though and pressed forward, giving me the chance to identify blondie’s smoldering cigarette as a Camel Blue.  I pressed forward to see my wholesome light brunette had just finished her cigarette as well, also dropping it to the pavement without bothering to crush it out.  I could tell by the pack in the back of her jean shorts that her brand was Camel Light Menthols, but confirmed it looking at the smoldering remains of her cancer stick.  Now it was just a matter of that sexy dark brunette, the slowest smoker of the trio.  I got to watch a few more drags from her over the next 50 yards or so before she also retired her smoldering butt to the ground.  Hers was a Marlboro Light Special Blend.  Three different distinct beauties with three distinct brands all smoking together.  The imagery and quality of the girls being what they were, this sighting would have been my best so far of the 2015 fair season if it had ended right there, but suffice it to say it was nowhere near over.

An hour or so went by after that as I stitched together a few more modest sightings on the grounds, but right around 1:00 the day’s trajectory dramatically reversed, and it was all courtesy of a girl who by herself was a pretty impressive find.  A trio of two girls and a guy in their mid-to-late 20s were walking towards a small fairgrounds bar called Chuckie Dee’s and one of the girls was a brunette with sunglasses, a white shoulderless tanktop and dark jeans who looked ready for the party, particularly with a freshly lit cigarette in hand.  She waltzed right into the bar with her cigarette and asked somebody something, which I would quickly discover to be a request for an ashtray as she was handed one before retreating to a table near a wall with her two friends.  The female friend was a light brunette in a purple tanktop and pale blue jean shorts who I found hotter than the smoker, and I was taking a bench outside ready, willing, and able to wait as I needed for her to produce cigarettes of her own, but my plans got changed when I looked one table to their right and saw who was sitting there…..

Three of the four participants in my great original Missouri State Fair sighting occupied that table, including the guy, the sexpot brunette, and the wholesome light brunette cutie.  The blond who went into the cattle barn earlier was not there.  The only problem was there was a partition obstructing my view of them from the bench where I sat.  I scrambled and searched the perimeter of this open-air bar for another more accommodating bench….and I found one!  At the front entryway of the bar was a wide open bench where I could observe the bench where this trio sat, close enough to appreciate the imagery but far enough away that I didn’t stand out like a sore thumb to them.  The second I sat down I could have sworn I saw a plume of smoke exhaled from the mouth of the dark brunette.  I figure my eyes probably didn’t deceive me and that she did in fact take the final exhale from a cigarette she crushed out outside of my sight range.  Either way, I just had a feeling that if I waited here for a while, I’d see more smoking from one or more of these girls.   An otherwise tempting sighting walked by right in front of me, a family where a 19ish skinny brunette daughter had a pack of Newports stuffed into her back jeans pocket, but especially considering that girl wasn’t smoking, I wasn’t about to vacate this bench overlooking my best find so far in the 2015 fair season.

I had to wait no more than five minutes before the wholesome light brunette inserted an all-white between her lips and fired up.  I don’t often get the visceral flourish of excitement where my heart skips a beat seeing a girl smoking a cigarette but it sure happened at that moment.  This time, I was gonna get to watch her smoke the whole cigarette!  Even though this bar was open-air, the context was exactly like an old-fashioned bar setting, complete with the ashtray, and the imagery of her smoking evoked that.  I never got much of a chance to admire her style when I saw her smoking by the livestock barns earlier but that deficiency was being amended now.  Her drags were rock-solid, lasting a good five seconds and exposing a pleasured sensation on her face followed by generous exhales that she usually tilted slightly skyward to release, which the aforementioned south wind scattered into the bar.  It would have been hard to imagine this girl could upstage the imagery of her first cigarette with her friends outdoors but my front-row seat to her bar setting cigarette pulled it off, and I savored every moment until she extinguished the cigarette’s remains in the ashtray in front of her.  Was this the time to walk away?  Perhaps for an ordinary duo of fair girls, but these two were not ordinary, and I just knew that there would be more rewards for staying where I was at.  And it wouldn’t take long for those rewards to be realized….

No more than three minutes passed before the sexy dark brunette took out another cigarette and lit up, and this motivated her wholesome light brunette friend to light up another one too.  Oh sweet….both girls smoking at once again!  But of course there was one member of this trio not smoking….and that was the guy who never did light up even while in the presence of all these heavy-smoking females.  If ever there was a case study on whether secondhand smoke kills or not, it would be this guy.  If secondhand smoke is as dangerous as they claim it is, this guy should be dead in the next few years!  And his would-be killers couldn’t have been happier about their method of execution as the two girls smoked copiously, each producing beautiful clouds of smoke that were carried further into the bar by the wind.  The wholesome light brunette was the better–and faster–smoker of the two with cloudier exhales and better pacing, but the dark brunette looked so damn badass in her sunglasses dragging from her cigarette and typically exhaling straight ahead, making no effort at all to spare the guy sitting across from her the exhaust from her dark lungs.  The wholesome girl crushed out her cigarette a couple of minutes before the slower-smoking dark brunette friend.  And in the biggest irony of the day, the piped-in music coming from the bar’s speaker was now playing Alan Jackson’s late 90s hit “Everything I Love” of which the song’s hook is “everything I love is killing me….cigarettes, Jack Daniels, and caffeine”.  Clearly these girls don’t listen too closely to the lyrics of the country bars they frequent as they were a few years from the emphysema ward at the rate they were going! Right after the dark brunette finished hers, she got up and I figured the whole group was leaving…..but it was only the dark brunette.  I don’t know where she went but now it was just the guy and the wholesome light brunette at the table by themselves.  I began to suspect they were boyfriend and girlfriend but was later dissuaded of that impression.  More on that later, but in the meantime since my favorite girl of the group was sticking around, I was gonna do the same and see how high the cigarette count would go!

This was actually a perfect situation for me because my feet were still sore from 8 1/2 hours of walking at the Iowa State Fair that ended Thursday night at midnight.  My feet would be hard-pressed to handle a full 12 hours of walking on cement again all day and night Saturday, so my extended sit on this bench overlooking my favorite girls in the bar allowed me the best of both worlds….fantastic sightings from the comfort of my easy chair.  I was a little concerned that I was missing great stuff elsewhere on the fairgrounds but I definitely made the right choice to stick around and I would formalize my stay by approaching the bar and ordering a pulled pork sandwich, giving me something to eat while being entertained by the smoker girl and a live band that was now performing and was quite good.  Again, my timing couldn’t have been better….because as I was standing there waiting on my sandwich, the wholesome light brunette smoker was standing at the bar right next to me ordering another beer.  This was the closest I was all day physically to this perfect female specimen….and frankly she kind of reeked of smoke!  I retreated to my bench while she was still in line waiting for another beer, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her perfect ass and those great legs with the cowgirl boots at the bottom, the breeze whipping around the bottom of her loose fitting pink top and showing off some midriff.  Her sex appeal was off the charts.  She walked back to her seat with the fresh beer, and I knew that with the new beer another cigarette was about to be smoked.

She made me wait about five more minutes but didn’t disappoint when her fourth cigarette of the last two hours (at least, I probably missed at least one!) was ignited.  While I had sort of appreciated the old-fashioned bar setting of this sighting up to this point, something I hadn’t experienced to this degree since Cousin Jamie’s wedding in 2002, it was after she lit this latest cigarette that it really hit home for me, and for a very specific reason.  For the first half of the cigarette, she rested her elbow on the table and held her cigarette close to her face as it smoldered.  With indoor smoking sightings having all but disappeared in my part of the country, an already visually appealing pose for a sexy smoker gal became that much more stunning because of its scarcity.  I honestly can’t even remember the last time I saw a girl smoking in this pose, and it was tearing me up inside with excitement.  The visceral thrill I mentioned that this girl gave me when she lit up before was occurring every couple of minutes at this point and I couldn’t get enough of it.  She took a good 6-8 drags with her elbow on the table before retreating to her previous position of holding her cigarette hand to her side next to her chair but I appreciated the hell out of those throwback stylings for as long as they lasted.  And sometimes this girl would flash a smile or have a certain look in her eye that just melted my heart witnessing it, reinforcing my notion that she was one of the most perfect smoker girls who ever lived, a perfect combination of heavy and unashamed smoker with a fun and charming personality.

She finished that fourth cigarette and I was determined to ride this show out as long as I could.  I know I had been spotted again by the girl and the guy with her but the presence of this live band performing behind them gave me a reason to be looking their way.  It was one of those perfect fetish days where absolutely everything was going my way. Nonetheless, the band’s arrival posed a logistical challenge when more people came to listen to them, including some who sat in my line of vision of the chainsmoking babe, at least partially obstructing me from seeing more of her.  I found myself fidgeting on my bench trying to find holes in the crowd where I could see the girl.  Thankfully, this crowd’s formation occurred in between cigarettes but I knew with this girl that period wouldn’t last long so I was hoping for some kind of break or that she would actually hold off before firing up her next one.  About 10 minutes passed when I saw an opening just large enough that I saw her nose and mouth in between two other customers…..and she was placing an unlit cigarette in her mouth, her fifth so far today that I observed.  It sure was a weird yet oddly satisfying experience watching this cigarette being inserted into a female mouth yet not being able to see the rest of her face.  And it played out this way for her first couple of drags too before a brief parting in the crowd allowed me a better vantage point where I could observe the rest of her face smoking too, never disappointing even for a second.  Was this girl an anomaly even in small-town Missouri or was she not necessarily the exception to the rule of being such a heavy smoker?  I also observed that she was very gingerly sipping her beer, which was in an ordinary plastic cup.  She was only on her second beer since I arrived here more than an hour ago.  Some more casual smoking girls say they smoke when they drink, but with this girl I think she would be more inclined to say she drinks while she smokes!

There was some unsettled activity during this fifth cigarette as the guy got up and walked off, perhaps to go to the bathroom….or else he finally reached his breaking point tolerating the girl’s incessant smoking.  Either way, I briefly abandoned my bench and retreated to a rear position behind where the girl sat.  The half-smoked cigarette was in her left hand as she continued to watch the band while sitting alone, and from this rear position I got to admire something else.  I mentioned earlier how when she was standing at the counter waiting for a beer the breeze was whipping around her blouse.  It was still doing that now as she sat with her back to the wind, but since she was sitting an inch or more of her black panties were exposed above the belt line of her shorts.  This girl just never quit finding ways to turn me on!  She took three back-to-back-to-back drags from her cigarette before crushing it out and continuing to sit there.  It was now 3:00 and I wanted to at least see what else the fair had to offer, thinking I would check in on a very regular basis to see what my wholesome light brunette was up to.

I did just that and was back in no more than 10 minutes.  Surprisingly the table was vacant, but I hustled on up to see if I could get a closer look at that ashtray provided it wasn’t cleaned out yet.  I got there and saw an ashtray with nearly a dozen butts in it, the majority being my favorite girl’s Camel Light Menthols.  But I also saw her pack of cigarettes and a half-empty beer still sitting there, signaling to me that she was planning to return.  I left the scene and returned in a few minutes.  Sure enough, all three of the original party were now back….the nonsmoking guy, my wholesome light brunette, and that impossibly sexy dark brunette, who was smoking another cigarette, her third or probably fourth cigarette of the afternoon.  My bench was still mostly open so I seized it, wanting to see more of the dark brunette’s style.  She didn’t smoke as quickly as I’d prefer but she was a great smoker with long indulgent drags and cloudy exhales.  And I love the dark brunette’s presence because every time she lights a cigarette, she inspires her heavier-smoking friend to light another.  Two-thirds way into the dark brunette’s cigarette, the light brunette fired up another of her own, her sixth so far this afternoon that I witnessed.  I stayed once again until both girls finished their cigarettes before making another attempt to take off, planning again to return and see when they smoke again.

I felt a little guilty for neglecting the rest of the grounds in favor of one girl (or group of girls), as incredible as they were, but when I returned to the grounds I realized I hadn’t been missing much.  There still wasn’t much going on out there, in particular in the midway when I finally made another trip through there.  I was heading back to Chuckie Dee’s to keep tabs on those smelly sexpot chainsmokers, but when I got halfway there, I discovered they were coming to me!  They finally left the bar and were now heading in the direction of the midway without any cigarettes.  And this time, the original blond was back.  The band was back together, with all three girls and the nonsmoking guy.  I had assumed with all the alone time that the guy spent with the wholesome light brunette that she was his girlfriend, but he was putting his arms all over the sexy dark brunette as they walked.  What gives here?  Maybe he’s fucking both of them!  Whatever the arrangement, I’d pay my life savings to spend one damn day in this guy’s shoes!  I was torn between following them into the midway and risking being called out with as familiar as my presence was at this point or returning to their table at the bar to do an official cigarette butt count in the ashtray.  Considering it might be a while before the girls lit up again, especially if they were about to ride midway rides, I decided to check out the ashtray.  I probably made a mistake as I got there to find the table still empty but the ashtray already gone.  And when I returned to the midway, I didn’t find them again.  I certainly wasn’t in a position to complain about what these girls, and the wholesome light brunette in particular, had already delivered for me.  And you never know, it’s possible we haven’t heard the last of them….

Fast forward about five hours.  It was around 8:30 p.m. and since the smoker girl trio last departed the day offered mostly only modest rewards to put it generously. I was hoping to finally find something worthwhile on the midway, which had thus far been a disappointment despite my high early hopes of evening sightings of mid-teen girls.  I got three-quarters way through the midway when a voice inside me told me to turn right at the midway exit leading to a series of fair buildings that I hadn’t explored much that day.  Occasionally my instincts lead me to something worthwhile, but never could I have imagined the reward I was less than a minute from stumbling into.  As I approached a foursome that included three girls and one guy, an air of familiarity struck me instantly but it took a couple of seconds to realize that the trio of sexpot chainsmokers who started my day at the Missouri State Fair and occupied the majority of the afternoon were back….and had changed clothes!  This led me to believe they must live right here in Sedalia as they appeared to have left the fair to change their outfits, but I suppose it’s possible they simply brought a change of clothes in their car.  Either way, imagine my luck to have been in the right place at the right time to catch up with these girls AGAIN after five hours between encounters, extending the best sighting of the 2015 fair season into an evening encore…..

The guy in the group was talking to another guy and motioning the girls to go do whatever they wanted to do, apparently under the terms that he’d catch up with them later.  What the girls wanted to do was apparently get some food as the three of them drifted towards a corn dog stand and I followed.  So what outfits did they change into?  The blond was now wearing a white top with a fringed midsection that largely covered the jean shorts she wore below the waist.  She was still sexy, but continued to come in third place in this high-end threesome.  My favorite wholesome light brunette in the Midwest who smoked the most during the day appeared to be wearing the same pink blouse along with a pair of tight jeans.  I guess I preferred her short jean shorts from earlier but she was rocking these tight blue jeans as well and seeing her in another outfit made this already wildly comprehensive sighting encounter all the more comprehensive.  But winning the outfit wars in the evening was that sexpot dark brunette, somehow managing to outdo her country girl ensemble from the daytime now decked out in a maroon tanktop with painted-on short black shorts that fit her muscular lower body like heaven.  I just may have been following the sexiest trio of early 20s gals in all of America!

The girls walked up to the corn dog stand and I had to be discreet not to get busted stalking them again, but found a bench across the street from their stand to observe and even snapped a couple of distant photos of them in their new outfits.  The pics didn’t really turn out but it was still kind of worth it for me.  They walked away with a single corn dog in the possession of my wholesome light brunette.  I had to keep my distance and ended up losing them in the crowd for less than a minute.  I’m assuming the girls collectively devoured the corn dog because it was gone by the time I caught up with them again, and they were progressing past the farm equipment on a now-vacant side street when it happened.  The cigarettes were coming out yet again.  A lighter ignited a cigarette to life in the blond’s mouth first and the fires kept popping up to ignite the tobacco cylinders in the other two girls’ mouths as well.  For the first time since noon, I was seeing all three of them smoking again.  It was only the second cigarette I had seen the blond smoke but this was the fourth cigarette of the sexy dark brunette, and the seventh cigarette of my favorite girl, the wholesome light brunette.  I had to follow from about 15 yards behind so as not to get busted but was able to see clouds of smoke exhaled from their mouths one after another during that joyous walk.  Where were they heading?  The very crowded beer gardens block of course.  I was hoping they’d hover outside the bar so I could watch them smoke the rest of their cigarettes, but what happened instead was almost as good.  The three sexpots with fresh cigarettes in their fingers weaved right through the crowd and strutted right into the bar with cigarettes in hand, where I can guarantee you that they turned most heads inside the bar because of both their beauty and their boldness.  I approached the entryway of the open-air bar and looked inside.  It was so crowded that I couldn’t see where they went…..but this story STILL hasn’t ended!

I stayed pretty close to that beer gardens block most of the rest of the night because I knew that was where most of the smoking action was gonna be, and plus I wanted to keep tabs on “the trio”.  I always weaved my way towards the entryway of that country bar the girls walked into and about 15 minutes after they arrived, there “she” was….that same wholesome light brunette, now in her pink blouse and tight jeans, standing there talking to a guy who also looked pretty wholesome sitting there on a chair across from where she was standing.  Once again, she was smoking a cigarette and he was not.  Apparently wholesome nonsmoking guys are the only kind of guys this girl fraternizes with, and as I watched her smoke her eighth cigarette of the day while sipping on a beer, it hit me that it could have been me sitting there flirting with this heavy-smoking cutie.  The price one has to pay at these fairs for obsessively tracking sightings is that you become too familiar to the smoker girls and look like hell from racing around the grounds in the hot sun becoming a pile of sweat to the point of having no chance of engaging socially.  Obviously I might not have been her type anyway, but I was really jealous of this guy who was in a position to watch her smoke from an even closer vantage point than me.  Her smoking style stayed consistent, taking nicely paced five-second drags with a pleasured look on her face followed a slightly skyward exhale right inside the bar, flashing that beautiful smile and infectious giggle regularly while socializing with this lucky guy who apparently had no problem dealing with her stench.

I even hit a sensory overload point in the middle of cutie’s eighth cigarette because, all at once, a bunch of other hotties were spilling out of the bar with cigarettes and lingering in my immediate area.   Where were all these girls around 6 p.m. when I would have been able to appreciate them more!?!??!  I was positioned nicely to look to my left and watch these girls smoking outside, and then look to my right inside the bar to see the wholesome light brunette girl of the day releasing another blast of smoke to contaminate the air in the bar.  It was a few minutes of pure bliss until the outside smokers finished their cigarettes one after another and the wholesome light brunette disappeared further inside the bar….

This beer gardens block was just off the midway which was convenient for me as it allowed me to explore the midway in a fruitless pursuit for young teen smokers yet still never be far away from that beer gardens block.  As for my favorite country bar with my favorite trio of girls inside, it had a back entrance that was also open-air and when I looked inside next I would see my wholesome light brunette line dancing to “Copperhead Road” with the guy she had just been talking to towards the front of the bar a few minutes earlier.  No cigarette in her hand while she danced but it was still a beautiful image and made me wonder how exhausted her black lungs must be at the end of that line dancing workout….

About a half hour later around 11:30, I made my final pass down the midway with one more journey on that beer gardens block which was single-handedly making my evening.  And the evening would not be complete without one more fantastic sighting of the two star players of the “trio”, who were now outside the front entryway of the country bar smoking in the company of two nonsmoking guys, one of whom being the same guy that the wholesome light brunette was talking to and line dancing with earlier.  You gotta figure the girls stepped outside to smoke to enjoy a cool breeze and escape the heat from inside with all the sweaty dancers as it seems very unlikely that it was out of any inhibition about smoking inside given their body of work for the day so far!  Either way, there they were smoking their ninth and fifth cigarettes of the day that I witnessed, standing there puffing in front of these wholesome, nonsmoking guys who were enduring their ashtray aroma with smiles on their faces.  I hovered from a respectable distance admiring what I knew would be the last cigarette I’d see smoked from that beautiful light brunette who continued to drag fiercely on her beloved Camel Light Menthol while directing her cloudy exhales skyward.  I’m guessing this girl is a very heavy smoker even on a regular day but within the context of this beer-soaked day at the fair I bet she smoked at least two full packs on August 22, 2015….

And I also felt blessed to get one more upclose look at that scorching hot dark brunette friend in that smoldering maroon tanktop and tight black shorts, the hottest outfit of the entire Missouri State Fair, as she smoked away on her own cigarette with a typically slower pace than the more wholesome friend with blobbier and straight ahead exhales from her Marlboro Light Special Blends.  The final cigarette count from this trio would be nine cigarettes from the wholesome light brunette, five cigarettes from the sexpot dark brunette, and two cigarettes from the blond who only made cameos over the course of the day.  The nine cigarettes from the light brunette rivaled last year’s Iowa State Fair teen chainsmoker, albeit over the course of an entire day rather than just a couple of hours like last year’s girl.  A sighting that started out resembling last year’s #2 fairgrounds sighting ended up being a hybrid of 2014’s #2 and #1, which is not at all a bad place to be.  Without a doubt, this “trio” who represented my Missouri State Fair baptism served me up the most comprehensive and longest-lasting sighting encounter of my life and will be immortalized forever on my blog as a result.

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AOF #2. Mid-Teen Smoker Cutie Tries To Ask Out 20-Something Guy With Cigarette In Hand

Not five minutes after I arrived at the Brown County Fairgrounds in Aberdeen, South Dakota, on that accidental visit in August 2013, I was heading up to the grandstand area as country singer Brantley Gilbert was putting on a concert and I wanted to see what kind of crowd was near the grandstand, but before I even made it there, I spotted a huddle of mid-teen girls that included a total cutiepie of a long-haired light brunette in a pink tanktop and dark jeans with an all-white cigarette between her fingers.  After a combined 19 hours at the Iowa State Fair in the previous seven days, I had not once seen a girl this young with a cigarette.  And not only was she young, she was cute as a button.  And this girl was as beginner as they came as evidenced by the way she held her cigarette and her very shallow and infrequent drags.  A style queen she was not, but what a face to attach to a cigarette in the year 2013, particularly since she was the cutest girl in the group yet the only one smoking. And the sighting was about to get a honey of a storyline over the course of the 5-7 minutes that it played out….

A couple of wholesome nonsmoking South Dakota boys gathered amidst this group of four girls, including the smoker, not too long after I spotted them.  The smoker girl was conversing with one of the guys and it was hard to tell whether this was a serious “request and rejection” or if the girl was just teasing, but I heard her say “Give me a reason why!” to which the guy responded lightheartedly “Me 20, you 16!”  Holy shit!  This adorable teen smoker was lusting for this older apparently nonsmoking guy and asking him out with cigarette in hand and fresh tobacco breath.  Nothing audible was said after that but the girl didn’t appear particularly devastated.  Wish I could have smacked some sense into that 20-year-old guy.  If you get a chance to hit a smoker girl like this, it’s worth going to prison!!!  Anyway, the smoker girl and one of her friends drifted to the midway.  I got to enjoy a couple more of her shallow drags before she dropped the butt to the ground and pressed on.  The cigarette butt was a Marlboro Light Menthol, one of my favorite brands aesthetically with that green and white color scheme.  If this was the only sighting I got that evening, it had have been worth it, but it definitely wasn’t, even though it was the best one.

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AOF #3. Blond Teen Outsmokes Friends And Later Hangs Out With Mom’s Friends

It was dumb luck that led me to the Brown County Fair in Aberdeen, South Dakota, in August 2013.  I was taking a three-day road trip through the area and stopped in the small isolated city to stay overnight when I tuned in the local radio station and discovered the county fair was going on and that musical entertainment that Friday evening was Nashville recording artist Brantley Gilbert.  Only two days earlier I had attended the Iowa State Fair but couldn’t let the opportunity pass to head to the fair, which thankfully had free parking and attendance.  Within about 40 minutes after my arrival, I had already scored a trio of fantastic sightings, and this was the third in succession.

I came upon a group of 17-18ish girls in the midway seated on a bench smoking cigarettes.  There was a blond and a brunette sitting there smoking, and two friends standing in front of them, one of them a hot dark brunette sharing the cigarette with the seated light brunette.  They were both sexy and attractive smokers, but the star of this show was the blond in tight blue jeans sitting down, who had a sexy combination of petite cutie and weathered badass smoker girl.  And whenever I saw her tending to the cigarette, it was clear just how hard-core she was compared to the other two girls smoking.  Her drags were merciless extended pulls of toxic smoke into her black lungs, pulls so hard you could watch the paper burn away over the course of her lengthy drags.  It was humorous that blondie managed to suck down her entire cigarette more rapidly than the two brunettes combined were able to finish theirs.  I spotted where she dropped the butt and hung back for awhile until they got up from the bench to identify her butt, which was a cork filter but smoked too close to the filter to be identifiable.

I didn’t see any of those three girls smoking again, but about two hours later at a picnic table was a middle-aged woman smoking a cigarette….and across the table from her was the blond and light brunette, the two from the bench smoking earlier.  They were both eating slices of pizza so I hung as close to the area as possible thinking there was a very good chance the teen smokers would light up after eating.  While that didn’t happen, my return to the area around the tables brought a cute moment where another middle-aged woman came to talk to the three of them, and proceeded to ask some inaudible questions directed at the blond.  She was clearly family or a friend to the mother and after their exchange ended, she hugged the blond in an affectionate way, and the only thing that crossed my mind during the hug was whether this woman had any idea that the blond she was doting on routinely rapes cigarettes with pulverizing drags.  Mom had to know because even if the daughter wasn’t smoking in front of her at that moment, it’s unthinkable the daughter could have developed a smoking habit that serious under mom’s nose.  I hung by them for a good 15 minutes hoping against hope for a mother-daughter sighting but it didn’t materialize, but still felt I got my money’s worth after seeing that daughter smoking on the midway earlier.

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AOF #4. Teen Cutie At Missouri Fair Shares Older Gal’s Cigarette And Later Has One Of Her Own

My maiden voyage to the Missouri State Fair was a mixed bag.  One incredible sighting dominated the day but when that sighting was dormant, there was little else going on, especially before dark.  But right after sunset early in the 8:00 hour I scored my only other electric moment from the day.  It was the only “hunch” I followed that day that ended up bearing fruit for me.  The sighting started on the block full of bars when I saw this 19ish redhead who was too chubby to even count as a sighting smoking a cigarette in the company of this sweetheart of a 17-18ish wholesome and slender long-haired blond in a black T-shirt and dark jeans.  The duo drifted behind a barrier to a hidden area where I figured just maybe the young girl would smoke too.  Instead, the two girls met this late 30s brunette gal who was smoking and seemed to know them….possibly a relative.  The setting was so conspicuous and the blond teen was so adorable that I hovered in a very awkward spot to keep tabs on them.  A couple of minutes passed and there was no smoking to be seen by the young blond.  I drifted away figuring I wasn’t gonna get anything out of this but couldn’t resist looking over my shoulder towards the same group a minute or so later, just in case.  And my instinct finally served me well for the first time that day as I finally saw the impossibly adorable teen blond placing the half-smoked cigarette into her mouth….

I caught her at exactly the right time because seconds later the group was back on the block heading eastward, only now with the young girl holding the cigarette in her hand.  Where did this half-smoked cigarette come from?  The only place it could have come from was the late 30s brunette (possible mother) who apparently let the young blond finish her cigarette!  I followed closeby and was able to witness some very impressive smoking, with long drags and hugely cloudy exhales, one of which whacked an innocent fairgoer in the face as she walked.  This girl was no rookie and whatever inhibitions I originally suspected she may have had about smoking in public were dispelled.  I got to see four drags before she did what apparently all Missouri smoker girls do….she dropped the smoldering butt to the pavement without crushing it out and kept on walking, allowing me to easily ID the butt as a cork filter L & M.  I continued to follow and even though I knew my camera phone wouldn’t work well after sunset, I snapped a rear and side photo of this nicotine angel that, while blurry, turned out better than I expected.  The trio proceeded to the fairgrounds exit and went past the gate, leading me to believe I caught them in their final minutes at the fair that day….

And that certainly was my suspicion until I was back on the beer gardens block around 10:30 that night and suddenly spotted a group of 18-19 year olds hovering outside the “dance club” playing hip-hop music.  The chubby friend was there, along with my high school-aged blond beauty queen, and two other decently attractive girls both under 21.  There was only one problem.  It appears likely that I just missed the hot girl smoking.  The chubby friend was finishing her cigarette while the two other friends were just lighting up, both of them impressive enough to count as sightings but neither holding a candle to my blond.  As for the blond, she proudly held a pack of Marlboro Nxts in her hand…..but as I said I must have just missed her smoking.  The upside was that it was now official that this girl was a regular smoker who carried around her own cigarettes and that her generic L & M from earlier was simply one that she bummed.  The other upside was that I was standing so close to her in a very well-lit location that I was able to score a couple of photos of her that, while not entirely perfect, turned out better than any other photos I’ve ever taken outdoors at 10:30 p.m.  What a sweetheart she was…..but unfortunately she and the friends wandered into this dance club never to be seen again that night and I wouldn’t get the chance to see her smoke another cigarette.  If I had, this cutie would be much higher on my list.

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Minnesota State Fair Overview

The Minnesota State Fair is my favorite sightings venue of the year.  It has been delivering for me consistently since I was a boy and has been the source of a long list of my best sightings of all-time.  Going back to 1993, I have scored 3,589 sightings at the Minnesota State Fair.  The list has become so long that I’ve written my own shorthand version of a top-350 sightings of all-time from the MNSF.  And even that list only represents about 12% of total sightings over the last 20 years.  From there I’ve narrowed it down to a top-100 list…

Below I will make two separate lists.  The first is the total number of sightings I scored each year at the Minnesota State Fair since I started keeping count.  The second is a numerical breakdown of my top-100 sightings year by year.  It’s not easy to explain but hopefully it’ll make since when you see the chart….

Chart 1

1993–2 sightings
2009, Trip 1–206
2009, Trip 2—95
2010, Trip 1—117
2010, Trip 2—212

2011, Trip 1–194

2011, Trip 2–203

2012, Trip 1–186

2012, Trip 2–199

2013, Trip 1–180

2013, Trip 2–196

2014, Trip 1–178

2014, Trip 2–182

2015, Trip 1–183

2015, Trip 2–164

Some more specifics about the figures in Chart 1 below.  But first Chart 2, the distribution of my top-110 sightings year-to-year….

Chart 2

2000–2, 12, 90
2001–8, 16
2002–54, 89
2003–24, 30, 34
2004–7, 19, 51, 53, 82
2005–46, 106
2006–4, 13, 22, 45, 105, 121
2007–9, 17, 18, 35, 83, 107, 112, 116
2008–3, 6, 25, 31, 36, 59, 100, 111, 114
2009, Trip 1–32, 55, 113, 122
2009, Trip 2–14, 41, 72, 86, 92, 110
2010, Trip 1—10, 37, 78, 85, 101
2010, Trip 2—5, 43, 60, 63, 96, 123

2011 , Trip 1–15, 47, 62, 66, 87, 117, 124

2011, Trip 2–21, 27, 57, 64, 80, 95, 97

2012, Trip 1–28, 38, 42, 102, 108

2012, Trip 2–26, 39, 56, 67, 74, 94, 104

2013, Trip 1–28, 40, 61, 65, 79, 93

2013, Trip 2–11, 44, 73, 79, 118

2014, Trip 1–48, 69, 76, 109, 115

2014, Trip 2–20, 50, 81, 98, 120

2015, Trip 1–23, 52, 68, 75, 77, 84, 99

2015, Trip 2–49, 58, 71, 93, 119


Now I’ll do a brief year-to-year synopsis to accompany the charts….

1993–The year I finally broke through with my first memorable sighting after eight years of attending the Minnesota State Fair with a bourgeoning but still undefined smoking fetish.  I had just turned 16 a couple days before my first consequential MNSF sighting transpired, and I couldn’t have asked for a better “sweet 16” gift.  Grade:  B+

1994–It was just my mom and I this year as my dad had to work.  Sightings of smokers were not on my mind and I spent much of my day at free country music concerts in the bandshell.  This was the only year of the last 18 where I didn’t score a single memorable sighting. Grade: Incomplete

1995–Another year of just my mom and I.  Pretty much a carbon copy of the year before except for one significant development…..a vintage sighting of a hot blonde near the sandcastles that remains in my top-100 of all-time 16 years later.  I had just turned 18 and on my continued slow road to having a defined smoking fetish.  This sighting was one more stepping stone on that road.  Grade:  B

1996–Two days before I left for college, I had no idea that I was about to have an even more consequential day in the trajectory of my life, but on August 28, 1996, exactly that happened.  Once again it was just me and my mom, attending one of our bandshell concerts and stumbling into the epic foursome that would become known as “The State Fair Girls”.  There are few days in the history of my fetish as momentous as this one.  Grade:  A

1997–For the first year since 1993, my dad was back this year.  All those years in the 90s I wasted with trucking through commercial exhibit buildings with my parents, attending bandshell concerts during the day, and leaving in the mid-to-late afternoon after only 7-8 hours at the fair….all during the era where teen smoking rates were at their highest since the late 70s.  What a waste.  This was the final year in which I didn’t have smoker sightings in mind as I journeyed through the fairgrounds, but even without paying attention I managed to score one passing sighting of a babe smoking in a cluster of hotties.  Grade:  D+

1998–I had worked at the post office this summer and although I hadn’t fully come to terms with my smoking fetish by the time the MNSF came around at summer’s end, it was the first state fair where I was consciously looking for pretty girls with cigarettes.  So I had that part down…but I still hadn’t changed my ways, following in the folks’ shadows through the buildings and sitting at outdoor concerts during the day.  I did pull off a handful of mediocre sightings, but chalk this up to another wasted year at the exact time when teen girl smoking rates hit their peak.  Grade:  C-

1999–On May 11, 1999, I discovered the smoking fetish websites online and spent the rest of the summer intensely searching for sightings in a way I never had before.  This would be my first Minnesota State Fair with a confirmed smoking fetish.  Yet once again, for a final year, I was in my parents’ shadow for most of the day.  By mid-afternoon without any good sightings, I was feeling very disappointed…and straitjacketed.  There had to be a ton of smoking going on the grounds but I just wasn’t in a position to see it, I kept telling myself.  But I finally came up with the solution I should have came up with years earlier.  At age 22, I finally told the folks I was gonna wander the grounds for the final hour by myself.  In doing so, I saw a number of quality sightings, including a girl who remains in my top-60
MNSF sightings of all-time today. Needless to say, a monster was born…and the Minnesota State Fair would never be the same again.   Grade:  B-

2000–This was a year of transition for me in quite a few ways.  It was a gloomy and cool day and I had to leave the fair early to go to a job interview.  Not necessarily a recipe for a great day at the fair, but I nonetheless scored two of my top-15 MNSF sightings of all-time, including my #2 sighting ever, the best young girl sighting of my life.  It was transitional because I still spent about 40% of my day with the parents either in the buildings or at outdoor bandshell concerts.  No complaints this year as being with my parents facilitated both of my epic sightings of the day in their own way.  Still, it was the end of an era for both the daytime bandshell concerts and me spending any time at all with my parents.  The new millennium was gonna have an entirely new set of rules for the Minnesota State Fair.  Grade: A-

2001–The transition put into place two years prior reached its completion in 2001, the first MNSF that would resemble my current state fair safaris.  I separated from the folks early in the morning and navigated the grounds on my own terms.  I also counted sightings that I accrued on the grounds for the first time and was actually surprised when the number exceeded 100.  I had to wait until the dinner hour, but I managed to score two epic sightings that year.  Also new to 2001 was the shift of the bandshell concerts from the daytime to the evening. Starting at 8:30 p.m. Ronnie Milsap took the stage.  This was important because prior to 2001, my family had left the fairgrounds before dark every year.  Being able to stick around after dark would bring about a new MNSF experience and a boatload of new sightings.  And after all this, I would get home around midnight, log onto the computer, and find my one-month-old love interest Dana waiting for me online to hear all about my day at the fair and lamenting how she wished could have tagged along.  Needless to say, another great day.  Grade: A-

2002–I backslid a little this year from the previous year in a couple of ways.  My mom had to work a few hours early in the morning so we took off late and didn’t even get to the fairgrounds until after 11, a good two hours later than normal.  And there were no evening concerts and thus no grounds to stick around after dark, meaning we left at 7 p.m. once again.  Nonetheless, I navigated the grounds on my own again the entire day and dedicated the eight hours I did have that day exclusively to sightings.  How did they hold up?  Mixed bag.  If you check out my Chart 2, you’ll see that I only had a couple top-100 sightings that year and nothing in epic terrain.  Numberswise, however, I still pulled off more than 100 sightings in those eight hours, which is a pretty good timeframe for that number of sightings, even though plenty of them were third-tier sightings of moderately attractive single mothers and the like.  Not a bad day at the fair, but disappointing by MNSF standards.  Grade:  B-

2003–Another year of just my mom and I as my dad had to work.  It was also another year of an evening bandshell concert which of course faciliated a longer day at the fair that lasted until well after 10 p.m. Again, I flew solo all day and dedicated the entire day to sightings. The numbers were strikingly consistent with the previous two years with just over 100 sightings, but this year I scored three sightings in the near-epic category that remain in my top-40 today and bested anything scored at the 2002 MNSF.  I also scored my first blockbuster MNSF sighting during the evening hours, which set the stage for much more aggressive evening fetishing in the years to come.  My best years were still ahead of me, but this was indeed a good one.  Grade:  B+

2004–A year very similar to the previous year in that it was again just my mom and I and we stuck around late for another evening concert.  Numberswise, I broke a previous record with 109 total sightings, but that was just a few more than I had scored the three previous years. There was only one big difference between 2004 and previous years.  The quality was astounding.  Right away in the morning, I was scoring epic and blockbuster sightings, the best of which was my Swisher Sweet girl still in my top-10 today.  The quality of the sightings held up over the course of the day and I managed five sightings that remain in my top-60 MNSF sightings. It was my most consistently satisfying sightings day at the MNSF thus far.  Grade:  A

2005–This was my 20th consecutive year at the Minnesota State Fair.   I was unemployed and had nothing to do.  And I had just had an epic local county fair with three of my best sightings of all-time.  All this meant I was rarin’ to go and was more excited about the emerging Minnesota State Fair than I had ever been before, so much so that I made the first incarnation of my top-25 MNSF sightings list of all time in the days before the fair.  So did it live up to the hype that year?  Not really.  It was my weakest Minnesota State Fair of the decade.  I barely crossed the 100-sighting threshold and there were no truly blockbuster sightings, as evidenced by how few entries 2005 has in my top-100.  It was still a more productive day than any of my 1990s safaris where I hung out with my parents all day and left by 5 p.m., but definitely the weakest from the 2000s, especially considering I was out on my own all day and stayed until 10:30 p.m.  Grade:  C+

2006–This was the year where things blew wide open.  With one change to my formula, my number of total daily sightings nearly doubled.  In recent years, there were evening bandshell concerts which sidelined me from about 8 p.m. to 10:30.  For whatever reason, the quality of the concerts diminished badly starting this year, which meant my sightings numbers went off the hook.  But even within the traditional timeframe of years prior, my past records were shattered and my old record of 109 sightings for the day was exceeded before 7 p.m.  But the sightings just kept coming into the evening hours and I ultimately scored 165 sightings, which at the time seemed insurmountable.  And beyond the quantity there was incredible quality to go along with it, with two sightings that remain in my top-15 of all-time and four additional entries in my top-100.  I thought this stroke of good fortune was a fluke at the time, but in reality it was more a combination of staying longer hours and becoming more efficient in my navigation.  The result was the first of a stretch of three sightings days at the Minnesota State Fair that were my all-time best.  Grade:  A+

2007–I was a little distracted heading into this MNSF safari on my 30th birthday.  Any red-blooded male would be the day after a smoky date with my biggest high school crush Krissy.  Nonetheless, I found my groove after a slow start and settled into a pattern almost identical to the previous year’s with blistering numbers of sightings and some top-shelf quality to boot.  By my 7 p.m. meeting time with the folks, I had scored THREE epic sightings (all still among my top-20 MNSF sightings of all-time) and was already at 124 sightings on the day.  Even though the evening hours didn’t deliver the way they had the previous year, I still bested the seemingly impassable 165 sightings I scored in 2006 by pulling in 184 in 2007.  I might give a narrow edge to 2006 as the better of the two years because it was so unprecedented up to that point to be scoring the volume of quality sightings I was that day in 2006 while 2007 was an extension of that.  Nonetheless, I raked in eight of my top-100 MNSF sightings in 2007.  Not a bad way to celebrate my 30th birthday. Grade: A+

2008–Without a shadow of doubt, my best day ever of fetishing not only at the Minnesota State Fair, but of all-time.  I have described in the past the trajectory of this day as a snowball that built momentum as it rolled downhill until it became a full-on avalanche.  The first hour of the day was infuriatingly slow but things got rolling pretty well with a spattering of great sightings in the late morning and early afternoon.  Things got better and better into the late afternoon and early evening, both in terms of quality and quantity.  And by evening things were off the hook, so off the hook that the only reason I didn’t cross the 200-sighting threshold is because I was seeing so many sightings of incredible quality in those last two hours that I stuck around to inspect them in detail.  Even at 10 p.m., after 13 hours of walking, I was operating on pure adrenaline and didn’t even really notice my intense foot pain as I usually do.  I scored 192 total sightings including two epics that rank among my top-10 of all-time, along with a total of nine entries in my top-100.  It’s hard to imagine a scenario where I could have a better day of fetishing than this, but the Minnesota State Fair has delivered for me so strongly in the past that I’m not ruling anything out.  Grade:  A+

2009, Trip 1–I got a surprise second trip to the Minnesota State Fair in 2009.  It was a good thing too because my first all-day trip was disappointing.  It was a cool day to begin with, but by mid-afternoon the clouds rolled in and the wind picked up and things became downright unpleasant for a late August day.  Beyond that, there were lengthy stretches in the morning and afternoon where sightings were simply nonexistent and where my mood was at times melancholy and bored in a way that’s very rare for MNSF trips.  As the temps cooled in the late afternoon and the evening, sightings numbers did pick up.  I was able to top the previous year’s record for sightings numbers and crossed the double-century threshold for the first time with 206 sightings, but had to sit for a good portion of the last two hours because of foot pain that came with arriving on the grounds an hour earlier than usual and stopping less frequently to admire epic sightings, which were fewer than years previous.  I left with four sightings in my top-100 and expected my 2009 MNSF experience to be a bit of dud, until I scored a very unexpected half-day encore visit the following week.  Grade:  B-

2009, Trip 2–It was like being Superman, flying around the Earth to reverse time and recreate a day that had passed when my parents asked if I’d be interested in going to the Minnesota State Fair again on Labor Day weekend last year, if only for a half-day (my mom had to work the next morning so staying till after 10 wasn’t an option).  It was a warm and sunny day and right off the bat I could tell that it was gonna be a much better day than the week before.  Sightings came at a regular clip throughout the day and at no point was I bored or distracted the way I was the previous week.  Several blockbusters occurred in this time frame, and the day ended with my only MNSF epic sighting of 2009.  All in all, I scored 95 sightings during the half day, including an impressive six that made their way to my all-time top-100.  Grade:  A

2010, Trip 1—Despite being sick with a lingering head cold and getting by on less than two hours sleep the night before, I was ready to go at my first excursion to the Minnesota State Fair on a sticky 90-degree day that would be cut short at 7 p.m. since I would be attending my first evening bandshell concert in five years.  The day was generally mediocre with a spattering of worthwhile sightings in the day’s early stages, but the final hour or so of fetishing made the trip worthwhile as I scored a bounty of blockbusters, and one monster epic that ended things on a high point leading into the concert.  I was especially pleased knowing that only five days later I would be returning, this time for a full day of sightings bliss.  Grade:  B+

2010, Trip 2—My full day at the Minnesota State Fair started slowly in a number of ways.  I was still a little bit sick.  I was smarting from a would-be love interest telling me the night before she just wanted to be friends.  The morning temperatures had dipped into the 40s and female fairgoers were decked out in jackets and jeans rather than tanktops and shorts.  But the day would warm up to a comfortable mid-60s high that brought about a crowd of historic proportion to the fair that day, an all-time one-day record attendance that was almost too much in the afternoon hours.  Sightings were hard to spot in these crowds and the ones I was seeing were generally marginal.  The day was considerably below average.  But then something crazy happened when nightfall came and the final three hours of the day would churn out one blockbuster/epic sighting after another, producing one of the best sightings nights of my life.  The daytime crowds that proved too stifling would eventually produce the evening crowds that were just right in churning out the right demographics of smokers, and I was in the right place at the right time to see many of them.  I ended up salvaging a modest day of fetishing about as impressively as possible.  Grade: A-

2011, Trip 1–It isn’t often that a day at the Minnesota State Fair starts producing an endless litany of outstanding sightings before 2 p.m., but that’s exactly what I was experienced that day, particularly during the noon hour when I enjoyed one after another rock star sighting and was convinced I was on the cusp of one of my best days ever at the Minnesota State Fair.  Unfortunately, the clouds rolled in at mid-afternoon and while it stayed dry, the clouds were a perfect metaphor for the wet blanket that was thrown on the day, as sightings became a lot more irregular and a lot less memorable in the second half of the afternoon.  This dragged on into the evening, but in the final hour or so, I did go on a mini-roll and racked up a handful of quality sightings.  Any time you get even a period of a day that delivers the way the early hours this day is a gift, but the slowdown in the second half of the day did keep the day from ranking up there with my best ever days of fetishing.  Grade:  B+

2011, Trip 2–The inverse of my first visit to the Minnesota State Fair in 2011, I sat in the passenger seat in horror on the drive up to the fairgrounds with rain coming down in buckets and no assurances that it was going to clear up for the rest of the day.  After a late morning clearing when we got there, the rain came again around noon and I was starting to get very nervous.  But by mid-afternoon the clouds broke and the sightings came fast and furious.  While there were no genuine epics for the day, there was a steady stream of above-average material that lasted from about 3 p.m. through the evening hours till the time I left around 10:30, and you can’t ask for much more than that during a day of fetishing.  Grade: A-

2012, Trip 1–My first trip to the Minnesota State Fair in 2012 happened to be on my 35th birthday, but it was hard to get too thrilled as the forecast was predicting rain my early afternoon and I was actually anticipating it would be an abbreviated day, and that I would return the next day for a complete day of fetishing.  The rain did come around the noon hour, but it wasn’t as bad as expected and was actually a catalyst for a couple great sightings while taking shelter from the downpour.  The downside of the rest of the day is that while the worst of the rain ended after about an hour, I was still planning on leaving early because the fairgrounds were a sloppy mess but by mid-afternoon decided to stick around.  The uncertainty was a buzzkill on the day, and it didn’t help that the evening hours I wanted to stick around for ended up being below-average.  With all that said, I had an above-average sightings haul with an ebb and flow pattern but which peaked in the late afternoon.  It wasn’t one of my best sightings days by any stretch, but all things considered I stitched together a pretty good day of memorable encounters.  Grade:  B+

2012, Trip 2–My second day at the state fair this year was about perfectly on par with the first day in terms of substance, with a healthy haul of impressive sightings but no single sighting that burned up my world.  But I’ll rate the second day a tick higher for a couple of reasons.  First, the weather was perfect, and when you arrive at the fairgrounds on a sunny day when you know you won’t run into any weather issues, your morale is always higher and that’s very important.  Secondly, I had a better evening haul on my second trip, and good evening sightings help wrap up a great day at the fair with a ribbon.  Always nice to exit the grounds for the evening with a beaming smile on your face.  Grade:  B+

2013, Trip 1–I was understandably nervous going into the 2013 Minnesota State Fair because of the unsettling news that smoking would be restricted to “designated smoking areas”, threatening to blow up the best venue for smoker girl sightings the world has ever known.  But I was relieved to see that there would be a generous 18 designated smoking areas on the grounds rather than the three or four I suspected, and most of them were located in areas that had been frequented by smokers on smoke breaks in the past.  Couple that with a fair amount of noncompliant smokers puffing away wherever they chose and August 24, 2013, wasn’t noticeably different from sightings days past at the MNSF.  The biggest annoyance ended up being the heat and humidity.  It was a steady day for sightings with decent quality at every stage of the day, and the designated smoking areas occasionally working as nifty holding pens that helped me rather than hurt me in scoring sightings.  The evening hours really sparkled, however, with more civil disobedience of the smoking areas and a “sensory overload” spurt where I was scoring quality sightings so steadily I could barely process it.  For as dark as I let my thoughts drift in the months preceding on what this day was likely to be, it was a huge sigh of relief that for all my worries it ended up being an above-average sightings day.  Grade:  A-

2013, Day 2–My second trip to the 2013 MNSF on Labor Day weekend was far less hot and humid than the week before and seemed poised to be a fantastic day.  It got off to a much slower start than the week before, and even though the daytime hours produced my best MNSF sighting in three years, things didn’t get consistently good until after dark.  And ironically, things got really good only after the weather went to hell, with storm clouds moving in and a steady rain coming down around 8:30 and lasting a good hour.  The rain was the source of a good half dozen outstanding sightings, in large part because it delayed the concert by pop sensation Macklemore who was performing in the grandstand that night and brought my favorite demographic of fairgoers in impressive numbers.  So basically the day featured beautiful weather and a ho-hum array of sightings, while the evening featured miserable rain that emptied out half the crowd at the fairgrounds, but some of the hottest smokers in the state were the ones who stuck around.  Gotta love the Minnesota State Fair!  Grade: A-

2014, Day 1–It’s regrettably getting increasingly rare to head up for a day at the Minnesota State Fair with an all-clear weather forecast.  It makes such a difference for morale to head up there knowing you’re gonna have a nice day with no chance of rain, but no such luck on my first Saturday there this year with a decent chance of rain in the forecast, and even though it never materialized outside of a few sprinkles, it dampened my enthusiasm.  The relatively modest haul of sightings was also pretty dampening, with a particularly glum start to the day, and an overall Day 1 that generally pretty average. There were enough extra base hits and blockbusters thrown in the mix to keep the day from becoming a bust though, and I salvaged a mediocre evening with the best sighting of the day.  I was pretty consistent numbers-wise with Day 1 from the previous year which I considered a success giving the shrinking rate of smoking in Minnesota.  Grade:  B

2014, Day 2–An improvement over Day 1 but still not a Hall of Fame day by any stretch.  Nice weather and gigantic crowds (an all-time one-day record) were both a blessing and a curse as I most likely lost some great sightings in the suffocating crowds.  On balance though, I had a steadier drumbeat of extra base hit sightings and a bit of a crescendo as the day proceeded, particularly in the evening where I really had some great finds, and one in particular who ran away with the 2014 Minnesota State Fair.  The biggest disappointment was in the overall sightings numbers, which on prior Labor Day weekends hovered just above or below the 200 threshold.  I fell far short of that with only 182 this year, a worrisome sign of potentially diminishing returns in the years ahead.  Grade:  B+

2015, Day 1–I got lucky with the weather on both days of the 2015 Minnesota State Fair but Day 1 was the more perfect of the two, and making it even more perfect was the string of sightings I scored between the mid-afternoon and the early evening, one of the best stretches of extra base hits I’ve scored in recent years.  The evening hours actually seemed like a disappointment at the time, but looking back, those evening hours weren’t bad at all either….they just didn’t live up to those outstanding afternoon hours that produced six Hall of Fame sightings.  Carrie Underwood was the grandstand act and seemed to draw the right demographic, resulting in 183 sightings over the course the day, slightly better than my first day at the MNSF in the previous two years.  Considering how rotten the smoking climate has gotten in Minnesota since the massive tax hike, that’s not a bad result.  Grade:  A

2015, Day 2–The temperature digits went up and the sightings went down on the second day of this year’s MNSF.  It was still a pretty good day with a steady drumbeat of extra base hits, and the hot 90-degree temperatures produced a lot of bare midriffs that complemented some of the day’s best sightings.  Still, with the very impressive crowd for the day, it was disappointing to find myself behind my sightings baseline at every stage of the day.  The evening in particular offered only modest rewards and I ended up with only 164 sightings, my weakest performance for a full day at the Minnesota State Fair ever since I started staying at the MNSF the entire day and evening, indicating that the point of diminishing returns for sightings even at my best venue may have arrived.  Even so, there was enough great sightings over the course of 15 hours to walk away mostly satisfied with the day.  Grade:  B

The consistency and history of the Minnesota State Fair as a sightings venue clearly rates it as my favorite place to fetish.   I feel like I dodged a major bullet when the designated smoking areas didn’t ruin that for me.  The fair board seems to be trying to remain as welcoming to smokers as possible, unlike most venues, but their hand was forced when a little girl got burned in the eye by a cigarette.  I have no illusions that the designated smoking areas will hold the antismoking crybabies at bay forever, but I think I at least bought myself an additional few years of a Minnesota State Fair that is as close to a wide-open fetishing paradise as exists in America today.

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MNSF #1. The 1996 State Fair Girls Who Escalated My Fetish

My smoking fetish was officially born on the sunny mid-afternoon hours on August 28, 1996, only three days after my 19th birthday, and three days before I left for my freshman year of college. And given the intensity my fetish has taken on in the years since, it was one of the single most defining moments of my life as it made me finally come to terms with just how sexy I find it to be when girls smoke. It’s the “granddaddy of all sightings” that I dramatized in my 90% reality-based  “State Fair Girls” story on Smoke Signals a few years later, and I honestly don’t think it’s possible for this sighting to ever be dethroned from its berth at the top given its long-term impact…..

There I sat, with my mom, at a concert for has-been country singer  Billy Jo Royale who I didn’t even really want to see, but agreed to since my mom liked him and since we had a couple of hours to kill back in the time when I had grown pretty bored with the Minnesota State Fair.  After sitting in the bleachers awaiting the free concert to begin, up came these adorable beauties, all around 18, dressed in as sexy and classy of summer attire as any guy could ever dream of (tanktops, very upscale looking jean shorts with flashy and glamorous belts), and sat in the bench directly in front of us. The thought briefly crossed my mind, as I admired their perfect figures and beautiful faces of this assortment of three blonds and one brunette, that these girls would make some amazingly hot smokers, even though that thought generally didn’t consume my every encounter with attractive females as it does today.

In no more than 30 seconds, my wish would become a reality as these beauties, one by one, opened their purses and retrieved their respective packs of Marlboro Lights, sparking up their all-whites within less than a minute of each other and proceeding to smoke cigarette after cigarette after cigarette for the entire two hours we sat there, completely oblivious to the dismay of others sitting next to them, several of whom left in disgust as the girls snickered.  Even my mom gave me a “What in the world could those girls be thinking smoking like that?” look, but thankfully we didn’t move. I just shrugged while trying to hide the fact that my jeans were elevating before my eyes.

It’s hard to single out which girl was my favorite, and I found myself declaring a new favorite every time I studied a different girl.  One dark blond who sat on the right was attractive but not in the league of the other three, but immediately to her left was a bodacious platinum blond in a pink top, white shorts, and a glamorous belt.  To the left of her was a long-haired brunette in badass sunglasses, a blue top, and jean shorts who looked the most comfortable and natural smoking a cigarette.  And on the far left was another incredible blond in white shorts who was mind-blowingly hot.  Again, every time I laid eyes on one of these three girls, she became my new favorite.  They were all just that amazing.

The concert was as big of a blur to me as the air quality a few feet in front of me as these extraordinarily sexy 18-ish superbabes ingested unending volumes of tobacco into their perfectly proportioned young bodies. At one point, as explained in my “State Fair Girls” story, they even turned around and teased me with their smoking show, smiling at me while exhaling plumes of smoke very near me, which really drove me over the edge.  This was the first time I ever got an erection from watching chicks smoke, but it definitely wasn’t the last.  The girls just kept on smoking like lifetime professionals–as if they were getting paid to do so–and left a mountain of butts in their aftermath.  These images were burned into my mind for months (and in fact years) to come and I would never view the Minnesota State Fair the same way again.

In so many ways, this sighting set the stage for who I am today. Would I have the fetish as bad as I do today had it not been for this erotic experience? I can’t really say for sure. All I know is that from that day forward (and as I said I started college only three days after this sighting) I never missed the chance to watch a girl smoke again.

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MNSF #2. The Best Early Teen Smoker Girl of All-Time Puffing Away With Grandpa

As stated previously, I couldn’t stay very long at the fair on the dreary Friday in 2000 due to a commitment that evening and really didn’t want to stay very long given the weather, but in the final half hour of a day that had already proven quite productive, I scored the most epic young smoker sighting of my life.

To give a little background, I had been sitting at an early afternoon concert by now country music superstar Keith Urban back when he had only two hits under his belt, looking around for smokers as always, and repeatedly saw plumes of smoke going airborne from the direction of this young blond girl, sitting with what appeared to be her grandparents.  I never saw the girl with a cigarette and didn’t expect to as she was way too young and way too Barbie-doll cute.  The smoke, I told myself, had to be coming from one of her  grandparents. But that smoke just kept coming from where she was seated, beckoning my attention repeatedly from the awkward spot where I was seated. I never did see anything, but got plenty of chances to admire the cuteness of this little blond sweetheart even from my considerable distance away.

About three hours later, I was navigating the fairgrounds near the bungee jumping stations and saw a freshly lit all-white protruding from VERY young female fingers.  Instantly, I recognized these hands as belonging to the same girl I saw at the Keith Urban concert, again in the presence of the older couple who I assumed to be her grandparents.  I studied her closely, stunned as I determined there was no way she was older than 13, and may possibly have been even younger. I positioned myself a few yards away from them and watched in absolute awe as this most adorable girl casually smoked in the presence of her grandparents. Decked out in a cute red T-shirt and utilitarian white shorts, with long platinum blond hair flowing all the way down her back, the last thing one would have expected to see was a Marlboro Light approach her young lips, yet that was exactly what I was seeing.

As hot as mother-daughter smoker sightings are, I was witnessing a grandfather-granddaughter sighting (granny didn’t appear to smoke), and in the most public place in the state of Minnesota.  As she watched the bungee jumpers overhead, she jubilantly talked it over with her grandparents the way you would expect a 13-year-old girl would do, with the cigarette becoming animated in her hand amidst her excited responses at the brave bungee jumpers.  And she was no amateur.  Her inhales were deep and her exhales were tight plumes of straight-ahead smoke that sailed many inches in front of her face.  I could feel the blood rush to my crotch watching this, having to sit down to avoid the bulge in my jeans from showing. When she took her final drag, she crushed the cigarette out under her shoe, and for whatever reason it was at that moment it hit me how special what I had just seen really was.

Many of us with the smoking fetish can trace the origins of our fetish back to when we were little boys. The best way I can sell the magnitude of this sighting’s epicness is to call upon readers to recall your jubilation in those late elementary years when you discovered or heard rumors that one or two of your sixth-grade female classmates had started smoking….and then imagine the cutest blonde princess in your grade being the smoker, and smoking publicly in the company of her family!  It was like a perfect middle school fantasy come to life for a smoking fetisher and I experienced it, albeit 10 years later.

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MNSF #3. Brunette Babe With An Insatiable Cigar Addiction

I had just taken my early evening rest at the 2008 Minnesota State Fair, my greatest day of MNSF fetishing of all time, and after about 20 minutes of resting my aching body, decided it was time to begin my nightcap….with some of the best timing in world history. Only a couple minutes later while walking through the grounds, I spotted a cluster of four early 20’s hotties on the edge of the sidewalk after about a block of walking. An attractive long-haired dark blond extracted a cigarette from her purse and fired up, leading me to walk their direction for some further observation. As soon as I was standing in close proximity, I noticed an equally attractive long-haired brunette muttering something indecipherable to the blonde as she looked at the freshly lit cigarette, and then started fishing into her own purse as if to get one of her own. I knew the next sighting was at my doorstep, but imagine my delight when the item removed from her purse was not a cigarette, but a small tipped cigar.

It wasn’t the size of your typical Black and Mild. It was much shorter, only the length of a cigarette, but considerably bigger around. The contrast was striking as the brunette fired up her cigar. She was very feminine with her flowing mane of dark brown hair running all the way down her back, wearing a modest pink T-shirt for a top and skin-tight painted-on light blue jeans to advertise her unbelievable ass.

There were four girls in the cluster, each above-average on the attractiveness scale but somewhat hard to discern age-wise. I would guess they were 22, with somewhat of a weathered party girl look on their faces that could indicate they may have been as old as 25, but definitely no older than that. At the time, it was just the two smokers, but all my attention was on the cigar girl as my subfetish for novelty cigar sightings is even more intense than my cigarette fetish.

Watching her smoke the cigar completely lived up to expectations, as she would tilt her head into the sky after taking a drag, giving me a perfect vantage point as the ball of thick smoke disappeared down into her throat, followed by cloudy and dirty exhalations only a few seconds later. There was no ideal location to watch this incredible hotness unfold, and I found myself awkwardly watching from the side, attempting to act like I was waiting to meet someone yet still be close enough to breathe in some secondhand cigar fumes. Things would not get easier as the girls had a strange habit of stopping at a certain destination,  staying a few minutes, then meandering a half block or so and then stalling out again, meaning my presence would not escape notice. Nonetheless, when the cluster first took off, I delightfully followed right behind cigar girl, and was lucky enough to get splashed in the face with a couple lungfuls of filthy cigar smoke that lingered in the air several seconds after she released them from her black lungs.  The girls, only two of whom were smoking, stopped dead in their tracks again closer to the grandstand area, making my job extra difficult. But the best part of the sighting was soon to come…..

The girls were standing right in front of an anti-meth booth, complete with a display of photos of meth users. The two smokers approached the booth and dragged from their tobacco cylinders of choice, seconds before a teenage girl working the booth approached them with some literature. I noticed that the girl’s eyes lowered as she spoke to the young ladies, clearly taking note of the cigarette in the blond’s hand and the smelly cigar in the brunette’s hand. It’s rare that I see something so hot at the fair that my boy parts get uncontainably excited, but as I watched that brunette exhaling a cloud of cigar smoke right in front of the anti-meth booth, my “excitement” could be contained no longer. Soon after, the bizarre stop-and-go routine continued until they stopped at a corner near the DNR building. By this point, I really had to linger at a distance to avoid being spotted. A couple of the girls seemed to look my direction now and then, but never made direct eye contact, so I’m not certain whether I was spotted or not. I had spent a good 15 minutes observing this crew before the brunette finally finished her cigar, tossing it onto the curb with nothing but the plastic tip remaining.  I had seen all I needed to see, but just in case you think this sighting is completed, I should warn you I wasn’t through with these girls yet. Or is it that they weren’t through with me?!?!?!.

About an hour later near the grandstand, now after dark, I found myself staring down the barrel of a repeat sighting that I had never even imagined would resurface. It was the cluster of party girls from an hour earlier….including an encore performance from cigar girl!!! Amazingly enough, she was in the middle of another cigar. Two of her three female friends were smoking cigarettes, including the cute redhead who wasn’t smoking before and the sexy blonde who was. It was a perfect opportunity to briefly follow them again and ingest some more stinky secondhand cigar smoke, but I didn’t want to risk being spotted given how much time I had already spent watching these girls.   Still, the location was better for spying this time as I sat on a bench near the grandstand about 20 yards away and watched the show. Again I was struck by the contrast between this brunette cutie’s pink shirt, tight blue jeans, and stinky plastic-tipped cigar, which she continued to inhale every puff from. I couldn’t imagine anything sexier, and was overjoyed as the cluster walked away and the brunette deposited her second plastic-tipped cigar butt on the fairgrounds pavement, and I was intrigued watching the large cherry splatter dramatically as it hit the street.

Another hour after that, it was almost 9:30 and I was continually amazed at what I was stumbling into, and nothing more amazing that what I would see next. Walking past the haunted mansion on the busiest street on the grounds, there they were AGAIN! The party girls including the pink-shirted brunette stogie girl. None appeared to be smoking this time so I kept walking around the perimeter of the nearby horticulture building. Ten minutes or so had passed before I made another pass by the haunted mansion to see if my favorite girls of the day were still there. And boy were they. I could see freshly lit cigarettes in the hands of the blond and redhead and seconds after making that observation, what did I see but my brunette sweetheart firing up her THIRD cigar in the last two hours. I made one final pass closely behind her and timed it perfectly to ingest one more exhalation of cigar smoke.

There were so many high points to that 2008 MNSF sightings day, but this was tops, and it was also my greatest cigar sighting of all-time. I’d give my first-born child to see something even remotely like it again.

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MNSF #4. Teen Smoking Krista Clone Corrupts Unattractive Friend And Smokes While She Eats

My 2006 visit to the Minnesota State Fair reached an uncharted level of hotness compared to prior years, both in terms of quality and quantity. I had hit the “sightings century mark” at an astounding 6:30 p.m., at least three hours ahead of schedule from previous years, but the cute 20-something blonde that represented my 100th sighting near the food building commons area was a memory in the mere seconds it took to raise my head and find Sighting #101, a beautiful 16-ish chickie with a mane of long and curly light brown hair running all the way down her back, and an unlit cigarette dangling from her lips.

Immediately sensing something special about this girl, I began to follow her and a redheaded friend who was considerably less attractive. The brunette wore a lovely bare-midriff blouse that exposed her well-toned belly to the tens of thousands of lucky male fairgoers, as well as a tight pair of denim Capris that fashionably showed off her glowing teenage booty and lovely lower legs.

It took about 30 seconds for her to fish her lighter out of her purse, but when she did, she sparked up that cigarette. She took a couple of drags before handing the cigarette to her friend and then wasted no time firing up another cigarette of her own. I got particular guilty pleasure about the fact that this adorable teen beauty was the bad influence on her less attractive friend. From there, the girls decided they wanted something to eat, and stood in line at this stand that appeared to sell little cups of frozen custard or something of the like.

Luckily, the stand was two-sided, so I was able to go to the other side and see through the glass, finally getting a good look at her. She was more beautiful than I previously suspected. Not only because of her astounding mane of light brown hair, but also her flawlessly beautiful face, she reminded me of Krista, the daughter of a woman my mom works with who is now college age. Krista is a nonsmoker, and homecoming queen hot…and this nicotine girl at the Minnesota State Fair possessed facial features cut from identical cloth. It was like a fantasy come to life as I recalled all the times I thought about how hot Krista would look as a smoker.

It only got better as the girl stood up to place her order, unapologetically holding her cigarette above the counter and proudly displaying her youthful nicotine addiction to the world. After receiving their orders, the girls carried their desserts and their cigarettes to the sidewalk, where they quietly sat and consumed a toxic brew of transfat from the custard and deadly carcinogens from their cigarettes. And consume they did!  I sat on the sidewalk across the street and got to see a surprising amount considering the foot traffic between us. The pretty girl went back and forth from eating a spoonful of her frozen dessert to taking a drag from her cigarette, dragging furiously and frequently, sucking the tobacco out of that cigarette faster than I would have expected and producing a cesspool of air pollution surrounding her beautiful face.  She would soon crush the cigarette out in front of her on the sidewalk at the exact moment that her friend did.

No more than 60 seconds had passed before the pretty girl turned around and started fishing through her purse. Could this 15-16 year-old stunner possibly be so addicted to cigarettes that she needed an exciting encore less than a minute after polishing off her last? DING! DING! DING! Every part of my fatigued anatomy stopped for a second as the pack of Camels in her purse was extracted for the third time in less than 10 minutes, and the girl lit herself up again. It was very clear that her frozen custard had quickly become an afterthought, taking a backseat to her obviously insatiable nicotine dependency. She only got a few drags off of the second cigarette before the two of them got up to leave. I couldn’t help but following a little further, even though I’m pretty sure they spotted me by this point and soon realized that I needed to abort or risk being called out for stalking her. As I studied this beauty’s amazing face one last time before parting ways, I would’ve given anything to turn back the clock and be 16 again if only for that evening.

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MNSF #5. Lindsey Tortures Her Teen Friend With Cigarette

In the evening hours that wrapped up my second evening at the 2010 Minnesota State Fair, I scored more than a half dozen blockbuster sightings, several of which are on this list, and the quality of the blockbusters just kept escalating.  I was already on an adrenaline burst before I even stumbled into the most epic sighting of the year and one of my all-time MNSF classics.  Without further adieu, I present you….the legendary Lindsey.

I had spent so long in the same parts of the fairgrounds tracking sightings that I was now long overdue for another journey to the east side of the grounds.  In this case, I found myself at the far eastern gate where I was at the early stages of what would be my best sighting of the day.  This is another one where I need to warn you….hold onto your hat….because you’re going on the ride of your life….

By now, KISS was performing and could be heard virtually any place within a half mile of the grandstand, but I just happened to be in a sparsely populated area near the east gate outside the range of the KISS concert, and was thus able to hear voices in close range, which saved me from missing out on the upcoming sighting.  I was busting pretty good through this east side since there weren’t many people there, but took a quick mental note of a trio of cute 17ish girls who had apparently just entered the fairgrounds at the 9:00 hour.  I took a quick look at them, didn’t think they looked like obvious smokers, and decided I should press forward.  Thankfully they weren’t out of hearing range as I heard one of the girls behind me saying “Lindsey, now we ARE gonna stop sometime because I really need a cigarette!”  I quickly jerked back my head to see an adorable brunette looking at the curly-haired blonde who she just made the request to.  The blonde didn’t bat an eyelash or say a word, giving her the silent treatment, which provoked the brunette to continue pleading.  “Now c’mon Lindsey.  I’m ALWAYS giving you cigarettes!”  Holy shit!  Needless to say, I followed.  I already counted these two as sightings just from that banter, but I wouldn’t be satisfied until I actually saw them smoking.

As I followed I got to make a number of observations.  Remember I said that there were three friends.  The third wheel was a modest brunette who did little to capture my interest.  The other two had me absolutely fascinated.  The brunette doing all the begging was the best looking of the three, with a beautiful wholesome face, long brown hair, a slender body, but a less than sexy red sweatshirt and utilitarian jeans below the neck.  But it was Lindsey the blond who fascinated me most.  She was also pretty, and had those alluring curly blond locks as well as a white and gold top.  But below the waistline was where she really sparkled, literally. Lindsey was wearing a short pair of medium-blue jean shorts that was made glam outlined in gold glittery trim.  Watching that ass wiggle in those shorts I would have killed to have gotten my hands on it.  The girls were pressing forward quickly, with Lindsey sipping a drink she must have purchased just after entering the gate.  The begging brunette seemed to be doing most of the talking, but unfortunately as we moved closer to the grandstand their conversation was becoming inaudible due to the noise from the KISS concert, but judging from the body language it looked as though the brunette was continuing to plead with Lindsey to stop for a cigarette.

It was shortly after this point that I would come across my most difficult decision in the history of Minnesota State Fair fetishing.  As I followed Lindsey and her girls, I crossed paths with a duo that took my breath away.  I looked to my left to see an amazing blonde 21ish beauty in a red top and white shorts holding a white cylinder with a glowing red cherry on the end.  Standing next to her was a long-haired brunette in jean shorts, also smoking.  They were the most beautiful girls I had seen all day.  We’re talking perfect 10s here.  These girls belong in Hollywood.  They were standing in a cluster of three guys, one of whom was smoking a giant cigar.  If only the girls were smoking cigars, Lindsey and her crew would have been a distant memory.  Now…what to do?  These girls were so gorgeous it was crazy….yet the storyline behind the Lindsey sighting was so epic that I wanted to see that play out too.  But was it gonna?  Just because the brunette wanted to “stop for a cigarette” didn’t mean they were going to anytime soon.  And meanwhile, I had these two epic beauties right in front of me who were smoking in the present tense.  Watching Lindsey and her friends walk forward into the crowd, I decided I was gonna try to have it both ways…and figured there was a decent chance I would since the 21ish babes were wrapping up their cigarettes.  I stuck around and observed their last two succulent drags.  Almost in tandem, the girls dropped their cork filters to the ground.  I took one last look at these beauties, especially that blonde in the white shorts.  How is it even possible for girls this hot to exist, I thought to myself.  I relished in this observation for a moment but then had to see if, just maybe, I could catch up to Lindsey.

I raced through the area behind the grandstand in the direction they were headed.  The crowd had thinned down some now so it was not completely out of the question for me to find them, but it still seemed like a longshot.  I was starting to lose hope as I continued my fast pace by the west end of the grandstand….until I laid eyes on that shiny beacon that was Lindsey’s jean-shorted gold-trimmed ass.  I was back in business, baby!  I continued following until they came to a stop at the edge of the midway near the radio station.  It seemed to be a hangout for a lot of teens and young adults not quite old enough to party at the nearby beer gardens.  The three girls quickly struck up conversation with what I assumed were friends they planned to meet there, although I suppose it’s possible they just decided to yuck it up with other kids their age that happened to be hanging there.  I was starting to get nervous as I stood on the curb across the street thinking that this might not play out, but the begging brunette just wasn’t gonna let that happen.  There was a flurry of people that made it easy to lose people in the crowd, but I had an opening to watch the brunette, reading her lips as she said to Lindsey, “PLEEASE!  I need a cigarette!”  She then held up one finger and said “Just one!”  I have to admire Lindsey for being such a torturer, making her best friend beg her for a single cigarette.  You gotta figure Lindsey’s current or future boyfriends are gonna have to work just as hard or harder to get a blowjob out of her.

And then, at least 10 minutes after this sighting began, Lindsey dug into her purse and extracted a bronze pack of Marlboro 27s.  The would-be epic sighting of the night was finally gonna become an official sighting.  Lindsey handed the brunette a cigarette and then placed one in her own mouth.  The brunette looked adorable dangling that unlit cigarette for a good minute as Lindsey got out her lighter, lit herself up first, and then sparked up her nicotine-deprived friend.  As suspected, the third girl didn’t smoke.  Now it was time to watch the show…and the girls didn’t disappoint.

Actually, the brunette may have disappointed a little, at least compared to Lindsey who was a total pro, taking frequent and lengthy drags and spewing generous snoots full of smoke in her exhales.  Sometimes she was thoughtful and turned to exhale.  Other times, she exhaled straight ahead and at least twice she caught the nonsmoking girl in the face.  Other friends were in and out of the conversation, but Lindsey and the brunette were the only smokers.  The brunette wasn’t a bad smoker, but her exhales were less dense and her drags less frequent than Lindsey’s, although I must confess that from that angle I was watching I couldn’t see nearly as much of the brunette.  Lindsey, on the other hand, hacked up a lugie about halfway through her cigarette and instead of the girlish flick of spittle most little girls spit, hers had volume and distance.  It wasn’t a big lugie, but she sent it flying an impressive distance.  And after that, things got even weirder.  She had a strange habit of extending her arm, bending her wrist, and ashing the cigarette, but one time while doing this, she accidentally tapped the cigarette right out of her hand.  At first, I thought she was just finishing up the cigarette, but it was a genuine accident and she quickly picked up the cigarette off the dirty pavement and stuck it back in her mouth.  She wasn’t quite done with this cigarette yet!

The girls became mobile which had its upsides and downsides.  It was hard to lose Lindsey with that ass of hers gleaming, but the crowd was such that it was still a real possibility.  And she kept puffing on that cigarette long after I expected it was at its end.  The brunette had apparently already lost hers, which was curious since she smoked much slower than Lindsey.  But as Lindsey dropped her butt, I found out why.  Lindsey had smoked it right down to the filter.  There was a speck of paper left, but every morsel of tobacco had been smoked out of it into Lindsey’s black lungs.  I took one final look at that adorable ass of hers swaggering its way onto the horizon, aware that I had almost assuredly scored my best sighting of the day.

My mood at this point was all-out euphoria, something I haven’t felt since fireworks at Summerfest 2009 where the smokers were absolutely everywhere.  I literally started running as soon as I reached a point on the grounds that was empty, so much so that some drunk from the beer gardens jokingly shouted out, “No running!”  If you would have told me at 7:00 that my sore feet would have been capable of sprinting across the fairgrounds, I would have told you that you were crazy.

The blockbuster-within-an-epic sighting in which I took an incredible risk paid off completely and I was able to identify three out of the four butts and got to watch all four girls smoke.  It’s a damn tall order for any sighting in 2011 to top this one.

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MNSF #6. The Original Minnesota State Fair Cigarette Molestor

There were no shortage of unforgettable moments at the 2008 Minnesota State Fair, but this monster epic from the late afternoon was one of the high points, not only of this year but of my entire Minnesota State Fair experience.  It was also somewhat groundbreaking in that it was the first sighting where I really took note of the smoking technique of a particularly addicted girl and have found myself studying the techniques of smoker girls more thoroughly as a consequence of the show this girl put on….

It was around 5 p.m. as I approached the grandstand area, encircling the east side of the seating area and quickly scoring two impressive sightings.  But after completing the loop, I was faced with two sightings prospects occurring simultaneously, and am pretty sure I made the right choice…..spotting this angellic-looking 19-20ish dark brunette with long and curly hair exiting the grandstand and producing a pack of Marlboro Mediums. I noticed a badge clipped onto her black slacks and recognized she was a grandstand worker, most likely one of the vendors for the commercial exhibits underneath the grandstand. I hadn’t had a blockbuster grandstand worker sighting since that epic supersmoking cutie in 2000 who was #12 on my list, but I definitely sensed correctly that I was about to have another one now.

She was dialing numbers on her cell phone as she leaned up against a tree right in front of the seating area. She was incredibly beautiful, but did not have a particularly flashy or glamorous look.  Her red blouse and dress slacks made her look a little more professional, but her girl-next-door face gave her a distinctive and heartwarming allure. In itself, that made her a great sighting. But it was her technique that elevated her to another level. Amidst her distracting cell phone call, she dragged intermittently from her cigarette as though it was an afterthought, but the robust drags were nonetheless intense and extreme with an unquestionable aura of pleasure evident on her face. But it was what happened after the drags that intrigued most.

Literally, 7-10 seconds passed where the smoke lingered inside her coal black lungs before the smoke came pouring out of her mouth and nose. Even more amazing was that the smoke kept coming after the initial exhale. After every exhale, residual smoke continued to escape all three of her facial orifices with every breath. Smoke was literally oozing out of this girl like incense from a metal container waved around the church by a Catholic priest during Lent. And it was the same routine with every drag. Deep and intense drags, a period of extended holding where you could almost take a nap and still wake up before the first sign of smoke escaped the inside of her body, and then more smoke spilling out of her gorgeous face for as long as 30 seconds after the original exhale. This struck me as the smoking style of a 20-year veteran smoker coming from a girl who was most likely only 20 years old.

Unfortunately, the performance ended entirely too quickly. She would end the phone chat and quickly retire the two-thirds smoked cigarette, stubbing it out and placing the remainder in her Marlboro Mediums pack to finish off later. Nonetheless, what a huge sighting.  For months afterwards, I would lay head to sleep and see smoke pouring of this girl’s face with every breath. In the years since I’ve witnessed a lot of vaguely similar smoking performances, but none quite as overpowering as this one, particularly since she made it seem so effortless.  When I see a girl this ferociously addicted to cigarettes that she practically molests the cigarette in her mouth and molests the smoke inside her lungs, I reeeeallly wanna have sex with her….and I desperately wanted to have sex with this one.

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MNSF #7. My First Little Cigar Sighting From A Worthy Brunette

I stated previously that 2004 was my first great day at the Minnesota State Fair.  Even in the early morning hours I was scoring impressive sightings, but it was the later hours of the morning that produced a groundbreaking first-of-its-kind sighting for me that I will never forget.

I was breezily navigating an unpopulated east side corner of the fairgrounds when I spotted this adorable 22-ish dark brunette with shoulder-length hair and the most perfect girl-next-door face leaving one of the buildings all by herself. She was dangling something brown from her young lips which immediately froze me in my tracks. At first, I thought it was a More cigarette as she stopped quickly to light up, but the undeniable aroma of cigar smoke that quickly followed the light-up made it abundantly clear that this wholesome cutie just lit up a small Swisher Sweet cigar at the Minnesota State Fair…..

There seems to be a growing “little cigar” trend nowadays, particularly in inner cities, but it was still largely nonexistent in the Upper Midwest in 2004, and this adorable girl in no way fit the stereotypical demographic of a little cigar smoker, yet there she was, holding her stinky little brown treasure at her side as she proceeded through the grounds with an enticing mix of awkwardness and confidence. My crotch expanded instantly inside my jeans and I managed to follow her at a distance where I wasn’t exactly conspicuous, but was still able to smell the awful but alluring stench of cheap cigar smoke lingering in the air after she exhaled. My guess is she probably knew she was being followed, but there was no way I gonna miss out on this, watching her cute little butt wiggle in her painted-on jeans with each step. Here was this girl, exuding femininity with every flourish of her hips, yet smoking a smelly little cigar at the Minnesota State Fair.  I dared not even fantasize about something like this up to this point….

This was one of the only times in my years of fetishing where I was briefly overcome with an animal lust sensation…wishing I could have my way with this girl right then and there with her willing and instinctive acceptance, tasting the fresh cigar smoke on her breath the whole time. After watching her drop her little cigar to the pavement and stomp it out before walking away, I had way too much built up “tension” to carry on without a quick trip to the john to relieve myself. It was the only time a sighting got to me that much that I had to make a detour to relieve the tension.  There were many other moments that day would impress, but this was unquestionably the high point of the day, or of the entire year of 2004 for that matter.

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MNSF #8. Flirting And Smoking With the DJ On Live Radio

Here’s another epic sighting from the early evening of the 2001 Minnesota State Fair, only about 15 minutes after I scored my #16 sighting from this list.  I was walking past this radio station broadcasting live and interacting with people on the sidewalk hovering in front of their booth. This radio station booth has produced a number of great sightings in the years since, but nothing even in the same ballpark as this one….

The deejay on the stage broadcasting live was talking to two extremely attractive 16-17 girls with long dark brown hair who were both smoking cigarettes like seasoned pros. These girls were kind of in the “in-between” territory as whether they looked like smokers or not. I wasn’t necessarily surprised to see them smoking, but I was surprised that they were copiously dragging from their cigarettes while talking to an adult male deejay ON LIVE RADIO….with a cluster of people behind them listening to their banter with the deejay!

And like I said, these girls were no amateurs. Their inhales were deep and intense. Their exhales were thick, extremely cloudy, and came in tight synchronized streams. I watched in awe for several minutes, not necessarily hearing what they were talking about with the deejay but being too mesmerized by their smoking show to care.

After the girls finished their cigarettes, I decided to take off, naturally expecting the show was over, but still making a mental note that this best sighting of the day just might not be finished yet. I walked a quick loop around the block and returned to the radio station booth no more than 10 minutes later….and girls (maybe sisters, maybe just friends, I’m not sure…but they looked quite a bit alike) were still there….smoking ANOTHER round of cigarettes with the same amount of gusto they put into their first round of cigs, and still flirting with the deejay on the air.

I kind of wish I could have heard the discussion to catch if the deejay was flirtatiously scolding the clearly underage cuties for their heavy smoking. You gotta wonder if that deejay had the fetish himself. Why else would he indulge these smoker girls into such a long discussion as they spewed their carcinogens in his direct path? And I also wondered what some of the people in the crowd were thinking watching this illegal display of tobacco consumption by beautiful underage dark brunettes with zero inhibition.  I would soon meet up with my parents en route to an evening concert, but my evening had more than been made after this epic.

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MNSF #9. Only 14 And Blowing Smoke at the Cops

Another epic from the 2007 Minnesota State Fair, and in this case the most memorable 30th birthday gift the fair would provide me that day.  I was journeying towards the midway in the late afternoon hours of that fine day where I would be on the receiving end of my most epic sighting of the day. Throughout the day, I would always see clusters of impossibly cute early teenage girls on the fairgrounds, the kinds of hotties that every junior high boy lusted for back in the day, and every time I crossed such a cluster, I wished that at some point in the day, the opportunity would arise to see just one of them with a cigarette in hand in the year 2007. Well, my time was now…..

A group of four dollish 13 or 14-year-old girls were working their way from the midway to the Heritage Square area of the fairgrounds. Sometimes when there is only one girl, it’s hard to discern if she is really as young as she originally looks, but there were four girls in this bunch, and they were very clearly in that 8th grade age range. One of them, an adorable blond in a red and white striped tanktop and white shorts, had herself a cigarette extending from her fingers as she walked by. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, and proceeded to follow the group of girls en route to Heritage Square.

But the sighting was about to take on an entirely new dimension as the group would wander directly past a parked squad car with two police officers sitting inside. I took notice of the cop spotting the young girl smoking the cigarette, and so did one of the other three girls in the group (a light brunette cutie in a denim miniskirt), who nudged her friend in the shoulder and muttered something to her that was inaudible from my distance, but that I figured was a warning that the cop spotted her smoking. With God as my witness, this blond babe….who didn’t look ANYTHING like a rebel….turned herself completely around a released one of the cloudiest exhales I’ve seen in recent memory directly pointed to the squad car she had just walked by!!!!! The gesture was a thousand times more fierce than a middle finger would have been….and it was coming from this 14-ish girl that looked like she should be a “B squad” cheerleader.  I had all I could do to restrain myself from bursting out into cartwheels.

The group of girls would press forward, and the blond smoker handed off the cigarette to the miniskirted light brunette (every bit as cute as the blond) who warned blondie about the cop watching. The brunette took a few puffs of her own. By this point, I was standing directly behind them and ingesting the headwind of every exhale their young lips spewed, all the while admiring their adorable early teen butts in the respective shorts and denim skirt. As the girls ascended the steps into Heritage Square, the blond (who got the cigarette back after her friend took a couple of drags) dropped it right on the steps. It was a Marlboro Red! These junior high princesses were smoking full-tar Marlboro Reds! Any wonder why this masterpiece is an entry in my all-time top ten??!?!?!?!?  I wouldn’t get another sighting that great for the rest of the day, but it was the sighting that really set the pace for the wildly productive ensuing late afternoon hours.

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MNSF #10. Storing Up on Nicotine Before The Hinder Concert

My first day at the 2010 Minnesota State Fair was fairly unsubstantial for most of the day, but around 6 p.m. in my final hour of sightings before meeting up with the family I scored a monster blockbuster that changed the trajectory of the day and ushered in a very impressive final hour, with nothing even coming close to measuring up to the quality of this dramatic gem that took place in the seating area to the east of the grandstand. ….

Sitting next to a boyfriend was a super-cute 22ish dark blond wearing a white tanktop and a perfect-fitting denim miniskirt that looked adorable on her.  Right away as I approached, I saw a cigarette in the hand of both the guy and girl.  I made a second pass to get a better look at the girl.  She wasn’t a knockout beauty, but very cute and wholesome-looking, a solid 8.5 on a scale of 1-10 who added to her allure significantly with that hot little skirt.  There was no place to sit next to the girl, so I had to sit next to the guy and as a result flew pretty close to the sun having to peer over him to get an occasional look at his girlfriend.  It was worth whatever risk though as I saw that first drag as cutie took a good four-second inhale before I watched the thick ball of creamy smoke disappear into her throat for a few moments, resurfacing again in about three seconds with one of the strangest exhales I’ve ever seen.  The smoke spewed out of her mouth first and the jet of smoke fired skyward while the spillover from her nose came later and fired downward. Usually these “jet stream” exhales tend to combine coming out of the mouth and nose to form one stream of smoke, but with this girl, a skybound stream of smoke lasted a couple of seconds before the second act emerged, a nasal stream of smoke plunging downward.  I would see a couple more drags from her, but none that upclose, so I’m not sure if I just caught her in a special drag or if this is the way she regularly smoke.  Either way, you can’t imagine how much I wanted to leap over this boyfriend, hike up this girl’s cute little skirt, and fuck her brains out right there on the cement slab.

Whatever the case, that was only the second hottest part of the sighting.  The boyfriend finished his cigarette first but within about 30 seconds, girly wrapped up hers as well, stubbing it out and dropping it to the pavement below her feet.  I expected they would soon get up to leave, but my adorable and feminine blonde friend had different ideas as she proceeded to extract her pack of Marlboro Lights from her purse only about 20 seconds later and was determined to keep the stink alive.  She fired up another one, and as I said, I didn’t get a very good view of her drags, but I was amazed at how quickly she made the cigarette disappear, apparently taking pretty deep drags into those black lungs of hers.  The boyfriend did not initially light up another cigarette and was a fairly quiet guy.  The girl wasn’t a motor mouth by any stretch, but she still did 90% of the talking as she pulled out her tickets from her purse and commented on how they bought the tickets in June, yadda, yadda, yadda.  But then the conversation got epic…

The girl told the guy he better have another cigarette because it would be a long time in the concert before they’d get their next chance.  The guy acted like it didn’t matter to him one way or another, but did heed her advice and fired up a second cigarette.  The girl was approaching the end of her second cigarette and continued speculating on the length of the concert.  And that’s when it happened.  The girl looked at her fast-diminishing cigarette and said to the boyfriend “I’m thinking of having another one!”  Are you kidding me, I thought to myself.  Three cigarettes in a row back-to-back!  How much nicotine does one girl need??!?!  Unfortunately, the boyfriend shook his head no, indicating he didn’t want to sit through yet another of his foul-smelling girlfriend’s cigarettes.  What’s the matter with you, man!  ANY TIME a hot girl tells you she wants another cigarette, the answer should be an emphatic “YES!!!”.  This time, the girl took a final drag from her cigarette and dropped it to the pavement still smoldering….

In just a few short moments, the two of them got up en route to the grandstand show.  This finally gave me the opportunity to see what she looked like up-close.  Suffice it to say she lived up to expectations completely, with a petite little body about 5’3”, very nice boobs poking out of that white tanktop, and a lower body framed beautifully in that little denim skirt of hers.  Naturally, I thought her walking off would finally be the sunset to this incredible sighting, but she just wouldn’t go quietly.

The boyfriend was still smoking his second cigarette, but the girl blew me away when she held out her hand and grabbed hold of the boyfriend’s cigarette.  He may have denied her the third cigarette she wanted, but he was gonna pay for that by sacrificing some of his own.  I watched as she finished off his cigarette, not even giving him the option of having a final drag himself.  Where do I find these girls?!?!  She was the nicotine girl equivalent of a camel storing up on fat before making an epic journey across the Sahara Desert. Suddenly, the mediocrity of the hours leading up to this point had become a distant memory.

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