Breanna Grooms A Protege

Alexis Sampson walked down the familiar corridor of Dirks Financial, her long-time workplace in suburban St. Louis, with a late elementary aged brunette girl in a T-shirt and jeans walking next to her, shyly leering ahead awaiting the formal arrival of the cube farm where Alexis toiled all day.  A middle-aged man looked at Alexis and the young girl and smiled.

“Hey Keith!” Alexis greeted, then looked towards the girl.  “I’d like to introduce you to my daughter Hannah.”

Keith smiled at Hannah and introduced himself as she meekly shook his hand, and then looked back up to Alexis.   “Ah yes.  Take Your Daughter To Work Day,” he muttered aloud, remembering he had seen that late April occasion on his calendar and quickly connected the dots of why Alexis brought the girl there.

“Yeah I figured it would be a good day to have her here,” Alexis said, motioning her eyes towards the manager’s office but leaving Keith a little confused what specifically she was talking about.

Alexis made the rounds for the next few minutes, introducing Hannah to all the coworkers in her department, with the girl warming up very quickly to the adults she was being introduced to.  Finally, the two of them stepped into Alexis’s cubicle and she noticed Hannah sniffing curiously, wrinkling her nose a bit at the unusual and vaguely offensive odor that she had been smelling since walked into the cube farm area but which had grown even more intense as she worked her way closer to the manager’s office.

“What’s that smell?” Hannah finally asked her mom, curiosity having gotten the better of her.

“Don’t worry about it…musty office smell,” Alexis responded dismissively, carefully avoiding informing Hannah that the offensive odor was the stench of stale cigar smoke coming from the manager’s office right across the partition.  Alexis figured Hannah would quickly get used to the smell and nothing more would be said of it for the rest of the day, particularly since “the manager” was gonna be out for the day.

Alexis began to settle in and begin with her work projects on the computer when a familiar female voice on the horizon startled her to an alarmed state of attention.  It was Breanna’s voice!  She was talking to one of the other workers on her way into the office.

“What’s she doing here today??!?!” Alexis muttered in a loud whisper to coworker Stephanie in the adjacent cubicle.  “Doesn’t she do collections on Thursdays?”

“Not on the last Thursday of the month,” Stephanie answered as faintly as possible, which triggered Alexis’s memory.  She had figured it would be a safe day to bring Hannah into the office free of Breanna’s presence, but was now desperately dreading that choice and kicking herself for forgetting the “last Thursday of the month” scheduling anomaly.

The clicks of the high heels approaching the cubicle served as a requiem leading to the inevitable as Alexis slowly came to terms with the reality that Breanna would soon be rearing her head.  And sure enough, the heel shuffle came to an abrupt stop as the college-age brunette manager stepped into Alexis’ cubicle.  Breanna was decked out in her most common office wardrobe selection, a candy-apple red blouse with a black leather miniskirt and long, smooth legs showed off under the skirt’s hemline.  And as always, a massive half-smoked cigar protruded from Breanna’s clutched jaws.

“Alexis, I’m gonna need that Williams account information by noon,” Breanna stuttered as smoothly as possible through the cigar perched between her teeth before she even made eye contact with the suddenly wide-eyed young girl looking up at her with a stunned curiosity.

A blast of dirty cigar smoke spewed out of Breanna’s mouth, flowing around the sides of the huge tobacco stick in the center of her mouth and filling the airspace of the cubicle very quickly.  Hannah instantly identified the source of the foul smell she took note of when she walked in the office and she couldn’t take her eyes of this very unusual young woman standing in front of her exuding such authority and power.

“Well, hello there young lady,” Breanna said in a friendly but slightly condescending tone, quietly scolding herself for leaving an “old lady” first impression on this 11-year-old girl.  She changed her tone to seem more like the girl’s contemporary when she made eye contact with her and added, “You must be Hannah. I’ve heard your mom mention you.”

Alexis grudgingly made the formal introduction of her daughter to “Breanna the manager”, barely able to hide the contempt in her voice for Breanna generally and more specifically for the fact that she accidentally exposed her young daughter to this vile young woman who slithered her way into management of her department entirely due to nepotism.  But it took Alexis a moment to realize the instant connection that Breanna and Hannah made amidst this introduction…

Hannah’s eyes were as large as saucers as she looked over Breanna, admiring her feminine yet powerful presentation.  And Breanna was picking upon Hannah’s youthful fascination with her, which was more intense even than the lay person’s typical first impression of her.  The look on Hannah’s face as she surveyed Breanna from head to toe took Breanna back to her own childhood and her early fascination with seeing some of her father’s clients smoking big cigars.  The encounter only lasted about 30 seconds before Alexis effectively shooed Breanna away so she could “get going on that Williams account”, but as Breanna walked out of the cubicle, she made sure she sent a final huge blast of cigar smoke flowing from her lips and strutted her hips just a little more than usual, knowing that Hannah was watching every nanosecond of it.

Breanna felt good as she stepped into her manager’s office and took her chair behind the big oak desk that was now officially and permanently hers.  She propped her feet up on the desk and leaned back in her chair to enjoy the moment, pulling a huge draw from the cigar perched at an upward angle in her mouth.  It had been more than three months now since she was bequeathed this managerial position.  She had began her junior year of college the prior fall, but after the enriching and empowering summer job leading the collections department at her father’s company, the fall schedule full of business classes leading up to a degree she didn’t really feel she needed just wasn’t cutting it for her anymore….so she put her education on hold and talked her father into bringing her on full time at Dirks Financial.  With the success Breanna had in extracting the collections during her summer internship, Breanna’s father didn’t hesitate in taking the opportunity to bring her on as head of the department full-time all before she even turned 21, much as he wanted her to finish her education first. But Breanna continued to have the old man wrapped around her finger, getting what she wanted much to the passionate consternation of her coworkers who all despised her for seemingly infinite reasons…

And while most of the coworkers had come to accept that Breanna would be part of the department’s landscape for the foreseeable future, Alexis remained the most visibly hostile.  She and Breanna just didn’t see eye to eye and it led to a few public spats, all of which Breanna obviously had the upper hand with given her position.  Alexis resented it and Breanna got off on the power differential, yet ultimately respecting her more than anyone else in the office for occasionally standing up to her.  Breanna loved a worthy sparring partner….so long as the outcome of the sparring match was never in doubt.

About 45 minutes passed and Breanna became immersed in her work.  While the encounter with young Hannah earlier in the day had perked up Breanna’s morning, she had completely forgotten the girl was in the office.  She leaned back in her chair with just the stub of her cigar remaining, taking a couple of final puffs before removing it from her mouth and flinging it into the large glass ashtray on her desk, the smoldering and still-moist cigar resting a top a pyramid of cigar butts Breanna let pile up just to annoy her coworkers.  She quickly became overcome with sexual desire, her raging libido reaching one of its semiregular moments where she could contain it no longer.  She smiled and reached towards her desk for the bell that was all too familiar to everybody in the office, dinging it twice to alert the necessary party that his services would be required…

The dinging of the bell elicited another curious response from Hannah, whose ears perked up first at the bell itself and then at the immediate rustling of feet from the cubicle across the hall.  Curiosity finally got the best of Hannah, particularly after picking up on her mother’s terrified body language, and she asked “What’s the bell for?”

“Nothing!” Alexis muttered dismissively, not wanting to explain any of what the bell could potentially represent to Hannah.  She tried to remain calm and told herself even Breanna wouldn’t misbehave too badly knowing a child was so closeby, and crossed her fingers that all Breanna wanted from her “secretary” was a light.

A nicely dressed, dark-complected young man stepped into Breanna’s office and could tell by Breanna’s body language that this service call would likely involve more than just firing up a butane lighter.

“Antonio, could you lock the door and shut the blinds,” Breanna requested in a mildly seductive tone, admiring the buff body of the early 20s Latino man in his suit as he attended to Breanna’s request, locking the office door and turning the dial to shut the blinds.  Neither of them even realized that the blinds were not fully closed when Antonio turned around to face a smiling Breanna as she used a guillotine to clip the end of her next cigar.  With a wry smirk on his face, Antonio picked up the butane lighter and began applying the flame to the end of Breanna’s cigar.

Breanna maintained an immensely flirty eye contact with Antonio, quietly congratulating herself again for hiring him.  Her personal assistant from the prior summer, Chad, had quickly moved onto another department within Dirks Financial soon after Breanna returned to school.  But she jumped at the opportunity to hire another personal assistant in January when she came back to work, this time going with “tall, dark, and handsome” over Captain America.  Like Chad, the arrangement required frequent gratification of Breanna’s basest sexual urges.  Unlike Chad, Breanna could tell Antonio had no hesitation whatsoever with his role as Breanna’s erstwhile sextoy.  After a few moments of toasting her cigar with the lighter, Breanna inserted the giant tobacco stick in her mouth and ingested her first snootful of smoke.  She then aggressively grabbed Antonio by his silky tie and pulled him towards her, exhaling a blast of cigar smoke into his face from inches away while maintaining her tight grip on his tie.

“Whatcha got to say for yourself?” Breanna playfully inquired.

“Just taking care of whatever you want me to take care of ma’am”, Antonio responded, laying on thick his Latin accent that drove Breanna wild.

Breanna pulled him even closer to mutter, “Why don’t you take care of removing my panties!” a haze of cigar smoke lurking in front of Antonio’s face that briefly took him aback.

Breanna began to lay Antonio flat on his back on top of her desk, removing his belt and then his pants as Antonio reached up Breanna’s leather skirt and hooked the underside of her panties with his index finger, slowly pulling them down until they slid down her legs and fell to the floor.  Breanna pulled off Antonio’s boxers and now they were fully exposed to each other, Antonio allowing himself to rest on his back atop the desk as Breanna climbed on top of his body with a primal animal lust.  She hiked up her skirt and lowered her moist vagina to his erect cock and moaned with pleasure with the first penetration.  Breanna initiated additional penetrations from there, riding him on the desk and moaning loudly with pleasure through the freshly lit cigar that remained clutched in her jaws, bursts of smoke blasting from her mouth with every breath.

As usual, the entire office was able to hear what was going on in the manager’s office despite the locked door, and it was particularly audible in the adjacent cubicle where Alexis sat with her 11-year-old daughter.  Hannah’s ears perked up at the passionate sexual moans coming from next door and looked at her mom with a vaguely confused look.

“What’s that?” Hannah formally asked, being aware of the sounds of sex from watching R-rated movies but not really putting together that that was going on in a formal office setting like this.  Seeing the distressed look on her mom’s face, Hannah began to realize she likely was hearing what she thought she was hearing.

“It’s nothing, Hannah.  Why don’t you go to the bathroom?”  Alexis responded.

“But I don’t have to go,” Hannah fired back, just to keep the exchange going longer to maximize mom’s discomfort.

“Please just go!” Alexis exclaimed with urgency.  “Take two right turns in the hall and you should find it.”

Hannah shrugged, pretending to have no idea why her mom wanted her to vacate the office but ultimately obeying the command, turning right as advised outside the cubicle.  She slow-walked her way down the hallway but could still hear the sex noises coming from the manager’s office.  She looked over her shoulder, realizing she was out of her mother’s line of vision, and decided to backpedal and see if she could get a look inside the manager’s office.

Hannah doubled back down the hallway, tiptoeing past her mom’s cubicle until she was in front of the manager’s office window and relatively isolated from anybody’s observation.  Since Antonio hadn’t fully closed the blinds, there were multiple small cracks for Hannah to leer into and she leaned forward to do just that, getting a full visual of sexual intercourse on the desk inside the office.  It was a new and exhilarating experience as Hannah was able to put faces and bodies to the passionate moans she’d been hearing.  As powerful as Breanna had looked during their introduction an hour earlier, she looked orders of magnitude more powerful now, thrusting her body atop this beefcake young man lying on her desk, clutching her cigar between her teeth for the duration of the intercourse.  Hannah couldn’t take her eyes off of the performance and found herself wishing she could be 10 years older so she could live Breanna’s life.

Ultimately, it was Hannah’s leering saucer-shaped eyes that told on her though.  Perhaps sensing she was being watched, Breanna’s attention was diverted to the silhouette hovering beyond the blinds.  She was briefly distracted from her passionate intercourse as she focused her vision on that silhouette and eventually noticed an innocent young eyeball staring at her through the glass.

“Shit!” Breanna exclaimed between moans when she quickly put two and two together that it was Alexis’s young daughter who was watching her.  Breanna had completely forgotten the girl was there and was uncharacteristically embarrassed and ashamed for a hot second, but as she could feel herself about to climax, her own needs once again came first as she ground in harder to Antonio’s throbbing cock knowing that a steaming load of his seed was about to defy gravity and erupt into her oval orifice as she dominated him from above.

Hannah was so mesmerized watching this performance and listening to the escalation as Breanna climaxed that she lost her balance and fell forward, using her hand to catch herself on the glass and making just enough of a noise to draw the attention of her mother.  By the time Hannah regained her footing, Alexis had stepped out of her cubicle and spotted Hannah leering into the manager’s office window.

“I told you to go to the bathroom, damn it!” Alexis exclaimed with an exasperated fury, walking over to grab Hannah by the arm and pull her away.  Hannah quietly submitted as her mom continued to bark at her and physically nudge her in the direction of the bathroom.  This time, Hannah went along with the directive and walked away, but nonetheless feeling pretty electric about the first sexual encounter she ever witnessed.

Alexis returned to her cubicle, aware that everyone in the office had heard what had happened.  She broke down for a moment, allowing some tears to flow and feeling responsible for exposing her daughter to this office circus simply because she didn’t realize her “boss from hell” would be there today.

Alexis cried for about a minute before regaining her composure, just in time to hear the manager’s office door open.  First to step out was Antonio, once again fully clothed and quietly slinking back to his cubicle.  Stepping out next was Breanna, still tussling her disheveled post-copulation hair and adjusting her blouse and the hemline of her leather skirt.  It was gonna be painful to serve up a mea culpa to her office nemesis, but Breanna realized one was forthcoming in this instance, stepping into Alexis’s cubicle.  Breanna could tell Alexis had been sobbing as she looked up with even more contempt than usual at the attractive but entitled brunette hovering above her with yet another giant cigar in her mouth.

“I had forgotten your daughter was here.  I’m sorry,” Breanna said concisely before a quick but silent moment of eye contact before turning around and heading back in the direction of her office.  Alexis sat there stewing, feeling almost more insulted by Breanna’s curt apology than if nothing had been said at all.  Alexis had gotten used to suffering Breanna’s near-daily abuse in silence in the last few months, recognizing that position of power in the company ensured that she would almost always lose if she took on the boss.  But Alexis always figured if she chose her battles well, there may one day come a time where it would be effective.  The sorrow on Alexis’s face morphed into a vengeful sneer as she came to the conclusion that a lame apology wasn’t gonna cut it for Breanna this time.  Alexis was choosing this as the battle where she formally took her stand, and if it worked out, she anticipated that there would soon be fireworks.


The following morning, Alexis got to the office early, having set in motion the evening before the long-coming encounter that she wanted to be completely sure she didn’t miss.  She figured Breanna would come rolling in anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour late as she usually did, but that would only be more time to build suspense for the moment that had been coming for nearly a year.  She kept her ears peeled for the usual clicking of high heels strutting down the hallway accompanied by the odor of fresh cigar smoke, and at nearly 9 a.m., the desired moment of arrival finally came.  It was the first time Alexis had ever looked forward to the arrival of Breanna Dirks.

As she did almost every morning, Breanna turned into Alexis’s cubicle to convey a few quick work-related comments, a routine that Alexis knew Breanna got off on since she was able to start the day throwing around her considerable weight.  But as Breanna spouted off her morning orders today, she immediately gleaned a different energy from Alexis.  The usual defeated vibe was replaced with a smugness that threw Breanna off her game.  Alexis nodded agreeably to the work terms Breanna requested and all but nudged Breanna to go into her office.

Breanna turned around with a vaguely freaked-out feeling and seconds later as she stepped into her office, that feeling was validated as she saw her father–company CEO John Dirks–seated in her chair.

“Daddy!  What are you doing here?” a startled Breanna inquired.

“Close the door, Breanna.  We gotta talk,” John responded with an ominous tone, and before he even began talking, Breanna knew this was Alexis’s backlash against the incident from yesterday.

As Breanna closed the door behind her and approached the chair at the less powerful end of the desk, her father attempted to maintain his stern look of disappointment, but seeing Breanna’s exaggerated look of concern coupled with the all-white ensemble she was wearing that could not have contrasted more starkly with her corruption of innocence, John couldn’t help but crack a pitied smile.

“Honey, I received a very troubling complaint last night from one of your employees.  It was reported that you had sexual relations here in your office with Antonio Acosta, your personal assistant.  That would be bad enough on its own but it was also reported that this is a pattern of behavior with you…and that yesterday there was a young child in the department who heard and witnessed it.”

John paused and Breanna sat quietly, her silence and the look on her face giving away her guilt.

“Do you understand that this is fireable offense in just about any workplace?” John continued.

Breanna maintained her silence but nodded affirmatively, bellowing out plumes of cigar smoke that rapidly began to fill the room.

“So I’ll ask you straight up if the accusations are true.”

Breanna took a rare moment to compose herself, scrambling for the best approach to this moment of reckoning before finally saying, “It’s true that Antonio and I hooked up….but I didn’t know the kid was around.  I’m sorry, daddy!”

John’s look of disappointment deepened as he had held out hope as he always did that the rumors about his daughter’s inappropriate workplace activities weren’t true.  “Well I fired Antonio right away this morning.  As for you, I think this is the perfect opportunity for you to return to school and do some growing up.  Maybe when you’re done with school, there will be a place for you here.”

“No!” Breanna pleaded.  “It was a mistake, daddy.  You fired Antonio so you know it won’t happen again!  Take a look at the accounts from last summer and so far this year.  Nobody is as good at this job as I am.”

As usual, the least little bit of charm and manipulation on Breanna’s part was clearly working on John, odd as it continued to be for John to watch “daddy’s little girl” plead for her job with a big cigar in her mouth.  “How can I expect to be respected by my other employees if I let you get away with this?  They know that they wouldn’t be able to get away with it so how can I let you?”

The situation was getting precarious.  Breanna still suspected she could charm her father into keeping her on the payroll, but knew she’d have to lay it on thick.  A hangdog look emerged on her face and she began sobbing.

“I know it was wrong…I guess I just got caught up in a mindset of ‘work hard and play harder’,” Breanna enunciated as well as possible knowing that between the waterworks and the cigar in her mouth, her words might not be overly audible.  “My top priority was making the family company proud with my hard work and I feel like I’ve held up my end of the bargain with that. My receipts speak for themselves!  And while I acknowledge that I messed up, I feel like I bring more to this position than the average applicant and that it would be an even bigger mistake to fire me because of my mistake.”

Breanna ended her plea, although she was working together some further arguments if needed as she had no intention of letting her father leave that office having fired her.  It didn’t appear as though she’d have to resort to additional pleas though as she could see the gears grinding on her sympathetic father’s face.  She stepped up her waterworks one last time knowing it would most likely seal the deal, and sure enough, John got up out of his chair and sat on the chair next to Breanna, consoling his weeping daughter.  She had him right where she wanted him as she buried her head in his shoulder.

“One more chance,” John whispered.  “You’ve proven your worth here and I should be able to dismiss one lapse in judgment.”

Breanna’s eyes lit up and she looked up at her father.  “Thank you so much, daddy.  I promise that I’ll make you proud again!” she added before hugging him again, continuing to puff away on her cigar every step of the exchange.  Held tight in Breanna’s extended embrace, John found himself desperate for refuge from the unbearable assault of his daughter’s cigar smoke the completely engulfed him.  Being years removed from the presence of tobacco smoke pretty much everywhere except in the presence of Breanna, John found it increasingly intolerable to be around it and came close to speaking up that he won’t fire Breanna so long as she makes the additional concession of no longer smoking in the office, but as she pulled away from the hug to reveal her puppy dog eyes again, he decided not to rock the boat.

After a few more hugs and few more tears, John walked out of Breanna’s office as quietly as possible so as not to kick the beehive with Alexis and some other disgruntled employees who wouldn’t appreciate the special treatment he was giving his daughter.  And only moments after John left the office, Breanna’s face flipped like a switch from daddy’s little girl to vengeful vixen.  She sat back in her chair, puffing on her cigar with her mind very obviously deep in thought.    In all honesty, she could have taken or left this particular job and knew that with minimal effort she could have restored the situation with her father even if he had elected to fire her.  But Breanna fought so hard to keep this job for one simple reason….to keep Alexis from thinking she got the better of this grudge match.  The  early stages of a long plan were rolling through Breanna’s mind, but she knew what the first step would have to be….

She got up out of her chair and walked over to Alexis’s cubicle.  A victorious smirk flared across Alexis’s face as Breanna walked in, with Breanna stopping in her tracks and staring for a couple of moments hoping she could intimidate.  Alexis had hoped John would fire Breanna but figured that was a long shot.  Now it was just a matter of enjoying this moment before the painful payback that would inevitably follow.  She didn’t know what to expect but was surprised when all Breanna said was “I’m putting out a new schedule for the next month or so.  Some people’s hours will change, including yours.  Expect to be working some nights.”

Breanna turned around and walked back to her office.  Alexis knew that wouldn’t be the last of the payback and it would definitely suck to make arrangements with her ex-husband to look after Hannah on school nights with Alexis now poised to be working late most nights, but she figured it still a small price to pay for landing a punch on Breanna.  For her part, Breanna figured Alexis was breathing a sigh of relief about the limited magnitude of the retaliation, but just like Breanna’s father when she made her emotional appeal, Breanna had Alexis right where she wanted her.


Breanna dedicated her entire weekend to searching through Alexis’s employee file for personal information and contacts, as well as online stalking of Hannah’s social media sites.  The stars seemed to be aligning early on.  She had heard Alexis mention before that her ex-husband took Hannah on nights when she worked late or had other plans, and it turned out after her records search that Alexis’s ex-husband lived only a mile from Breanna’s house, far closer than Alexis lived from her.  Breanna familiarized herself with the music and TV shows that Hannah talked about favorably on social media, and after learning that Hannah was a collector of dolphin collectibles, Breanna proceeded to express-order dozens of her own dolphin-related items from online.  As they began arriving at her doorstep, Breanna dedicated hours redecorating her home with dolphin bedsheets, dolphin table mats, and dolphin curtains, effectively turning everything she owned into a dolphin shrine.

Come Monday afternoon, she cut out of work early to do some in-person stalking of Hannah.  Even the shameless Breanna felt more than a tad sketchy while doing surveillance on this 11-year-old child, but she kept reminding herself to keep the eye on the prize and not let a conscience get in the way of her epic endgame.  Breanna lurked in her car across the street from Hannah’s elementary school waiting for afternoon dismissal, positioning her car in a spot where she figured Hannah would likely emerge en route to her father’s place.  As the students began pouring outside, Breanna kept a laser focus to be sure she didn’t miss Hannah and within a few minutes, she spotted the cute dark brunette girl who reminded her so much of herself when she was in fifth grade.  Hannah rode her bike off the school campus and headed in the direction that Breanna expected her to, pedaling down the residential streets while Breanna creepily followed block by block.  On the ride back to her dad’s place, Hannah stopped at a 7-11 and came out with a soft drink and a snack.

Breanna returned to Hannah’s school the following afternoon and was pleased to see that Hannah was a creature of habit, taking the same route home on her bike and going to the same 7-11 for a snack and a beverage.  The stars continued to align for Breanna’s plan, and she since she was working with a fairly compressed timeline, she decided the following day would be the time to put her leg work to the test and make her first introduction.


On Wednesday afternoon, Breanna again excused herself from work a few hours early, parking in the 7-11 lot near the time of school dismissal and looking over her shoulder for an approaching bicycle with a cute 11-year-old brunette riding.  When she saw the bike on the horizon about a block away, Breanna jumped out of her car and headed inside the store, picking up an iced coffee drink and getting in line to pay for it.  As she handed over her cash for the iced coffee to the clerk, she could see Hannah’s bike approaching the front of the store.  Everything was working out perfectly as Breanna reached into her purse to extract another cigar, a guillotine to cut it, and a butane lighter.  She opened the gas station door and stepped outside, pretending not to notice Hannah as she clipped off the end of her cigar and approached the flame of her lighter to the other end.  She toasted the cigar for about 30 seconds while Hannah parked her bike and she timed it perfectly to approach the cigar to her lips to take the first puff just as Hannah walked towards the store entrance and saw her.

Hannah’s familiar innocent eyes swelled to saucer shape as she made eye contact with Breanna, wearing the same red blouse and black leather skirt ensemble she wore the previous week.  Hannah remained silent while Breanna played it as cool as possible, saying “Hey I know you,” in a casual yet friendly tone.  “Hannah right?”

“Yeah.  And you’re…..Breanna?” Hannah responded, pretending to not remember the name of the young woman who left such a huge impression on her six short days earlier.

“Good memory,” Breanna said with a smile, filling the spring air with a blast of cigar smoke, the smell of which Hannah still don’t know whether she liked or hated.  “Are you on your way home from school?”

Hannah nodded in the affirmative, “My dad lives close to here.  I’m staying with him till my mom picks me up.  She’s working late this week,” Hannah added, apparently not connecting the dots that Breanna’s scheduling was the reason Alexis was working late for the foreseeable future.

“Well that should be fun staying with your dad for awhile,” Breanna added, continuing to display some serious performance art with her cigar, correctly suspecting that Hannah was intrigued by it.

Hannah shrugged.  “Sort of.  My stepmom is a witch.”

Breanna gave a sympathetic look and then decided that her introduction went well and her plan would be best served if she didn’t push her luck in their first encounter, bidding Hannah a good afternoon and walking towards her car.  Breanna had it arranged to where the second she turned the key, her MP3 player would start blasting a Shawn Mendes song.  Just as Hannah was about to enter the store, the music from her favorite singer diverted her attention.  Breanna saw Hannah looking her way as she pulled out, waving goodbye to Hannah with the freshly lit cigar protruding from her face. Breanna was thrilled at how well this encounter went…and looked forward to an encore the following afternoon.


Thursday afternoon, same time, same place, Breanna was once again waiting for her preteen prey.  Once she saw Hannah’s bike on the horizon, Breanna raced into the 7-11 for another iced coffee, hoping Hannah would hold to her routine and, as she paid her money for the iced coffee at the counter, being thrilled to see she was.  Breanna was firing up another cigar as she stepped outside, once again making eye contact with Hannah and getting the same intrigued but slightly confused response.

Breanna laughed upon seeing Hannah again, puffing on her cigar to formally bring it to life after the light-up, really pushing her luck asking Hannah with a laugh, “Geez girl, are you stalking me or something?”

“Nooo” Hannah responded playfully.  “I just stop here for some chips and pop after school.”

Breanna nodded, while exhaling a plume of cigar smoke to maximum visual effect, this time decked out in a casual T-shirt and cutoffs instead of her work outfit, today going for a slightly more girl-next-door image for Hannah’s benefit.  “I come here every day for iced coffee on my way home from work.  I’m getting off earlier in the afternoon for awhile so we might be seeing a lot of each other around here.”

“That’s cool,” Hannah responded, genuinely intrigued with Breanna and getting some gratification from these repeated “chance encounters”.

Breanna then finally commented on the dolphin decal she noticed hanging from the handle bars of Hannah’s bike.  “I like that dolphin on your bike?  Are you into dolphin stuff?”

Hannah’s eyes perked up.  “Oh yeah!” she exclaimed.  “A couple of summers ago, I went to SeaWorld with my mom and I’ve been collecting dolphin stuff ever since.”

“You’re kidding!” Breanna exclaimed, feigning surprise.  “Check my car over there.  First on the rearview mirror,” Breanna used her cigar to point in the direction of the car.

Hannah squinted while looking in the direction of Breanna’s car, a smile developing on her face as she noticed a very similar dolphin as the one on her bike.

“Now check out the back,” Breanna said, leading Hannah to encircle her car and notice the bumper stickers and tire flaps that also featured dolphins which that Breanna just put on a few days ago.  “I got interested the same way you did.  I went to SeaWorld with my parents as a young girl”, she added, telling at least a half truth as she did have vague memories of a SeaWorld vacation with her parents when she was about seven years old.

“That’s so cool that we’re both into dolphins.” Hannah responded.

“I know,” Breanna said, pausing to work up the nerve to reel in the fish.  “I actually have an entire house full of this stuff.  If you’d ever want to come by and see it, I’d be happy to show it to you.”

Hannah froze in a panic, wanting to take Breanna up on the offer while watching the pretty 20-year-old ingest and then release another messy puff from her large cigar.  “I don’t know.”

Breanna sensed the combination of interest and reluctance and opted to use some of the same tactics she had successfully employed to manipulate her father the previous week.  “Oh I’m sorry…didn’t mean to put you on the spot.  Just figured maybe hanging out with me would keep you away from that bitch stepmom of yours a while longer.”

Hannah laughed and agreed.  “But what about my bike?”

“I can just put it in the back of my car…if you want to visit my place.  Again, no pressure.”

Hannah contorted her mouth, weighing the pros and cons of the offer, but clearly moving closer and closer in the direction of taking Breanna up on the offer.  “Yeah why don’t I come with you.  It’ll be fun!”

Breanna smiled.  “Great!  You go in and get your snack and pop and I’ll be waiting for you in my car.”

Hannah smiled back and went inside, still looking nervous about getting in the car of this relative stranger, but ultimately excited about this new friendship with this very mature girl who had flattered her by taking an interest in her.  Breanna wheeled her bike to the backseat of her car and then tossed it inside, then sat behind the wheel eagerly puffing on her cigar awaiting Hannah’s return and in moments, the girl was exiting the store with a bag of chips and a bottle of Dr. Pepper.  Hannah somewhat apprehensively climbed into the passenger seat and Breanna continued attempting to be as disarming as possible, asking “Geez, girl, aren’t you gonna spoil your dinner?” as Hannah tore open her chip bag.

“Yeah right,” Hannah responded.  “My stepmom doesn’t really cook.”

“Wow,” Breanna said as she drew smoke in from the cigar, drawing Hannah’s attention as she watched the giant smoldering cherry turn bright, then watched the smoke lazily spill out of Breanna’s face as she continued speaking, “I hope your dad treats you better than your stepmom.”

Hannah quietly shrugged as she chewed on her chips, not yet ready to divulge the details of her relationship with her dad.  Breanna nonetheless recognized trust was being built and in only a matter of time, she’d be sharing everything with her.  Breanna pulled the car out of the lot and asked Hannah, “Do you like Shawn Mendes?” before cranking up the MP3 player to the Mendes-heavy playlist she had just programmed into it.

Hannah’s eyes lit up, remembering that she heard Mendes’s music playing in Breanna’s car the day before.  She nodded excitedly in the affirmative and responded “He’s my favorite!!!”

“Yeah??!?” Breanna acted surprised.  “You and me are gonna get along well I think!”

Hannah smiled as she surveyed Breanna, who smiled at her as she puffed from her cigar, exhaling a blast inside the car that quickly reduced visibility.  Hannah had a vague intuition that Breanna seemed too good to be true but was too fascinated by everything about her to not let this ride out a while.  They talked about music and pop culture on the drive to Breanna’s place, and Breanna had to fake her way through at times when Hannah mentioned stuff that went beyond her recent crash course in the teen beat which despite being young herself had generally isolated herself from.  Every time she needed to distract Hannah, she just put on more fireworks with her cigar-smoking show which Hannah was clearly captivated by.

They got to Breanna’s place in about 10 minutes and Hannah was impressed by the size of the home and that Breanna lived there alone, having bought it the prior summer with some of her own money but mostly money from the family fortune.  Hannah was excited to see all of her dolphin stuff but continued to be most mystified by Breanna’s cigar smoking, walking into her home with the cigar clutched in her mouth just as it had been almost the whole drive there.  The odor of cigar smoke filled the home just as it had Breanna’s car and her mom’s office the week earlier.  It was an environment unlike Hannah had ever encountered or even deemed possible up until this point.  She occasionally wrinkled her nose at the stench and the sight of dirty cigar-filled ashtrays in every room, but still, Breanna just made it look so glamorous…..

Breanna tried to be as passionate as possible showing off hundreds of very recently purchased dolphin collectibles to Hannah and pretending as though the collection was years in the making.  Hannah enjoyed looking at everything and expressed some interest in items she didn’t have but would like, to which Breanna dangled a couple of carrots and said “maybe that’s something I can get for you some time,” increasing the prospect of keeping Hannah on the hook for future visits.

Breanna had stepped up her usual pace in smoking this cigar, both for visual effect for Hannah’s benefit but also to make sure she’d get the opportunity to fire up another before Hannah left.  Hannah had been there a little over an hour when Breanna finished off her current cigar.  Sitting on the couch in her living room talking to Hannah sitting a few feet away on the same couch, Breanna flung her smoldering cigar into the ashtray on the coffee table in plain sight of Hannah, leaving the wet butt to steam out atop a half dozen other butts.  In mid-conversation and with as little pomp as possible, Breanna then reached into her purse next to her and pulled out another Churchill-sized cigar, this one a darker maduro, which she began toasting.  The conversation had a natural break as Hannah studied Breanna firing the cigar up.  She could tell Hannah wasn’t gonna broach this subject by herself so she figured she’d have to go for it.

“My smoking isn’t too annoying to you is it?”, Breanna asked in a way that Hannah would be unlikely to attempt a veto option just in case she was bothered by it.

“No….it’s fine”, Hannah responded, appearing to feel a little guilty about Breanna even mentioning it.  Seeing Breanna’s warm smile in response, Hannah decided to run with the open topic, much to Breanna’s delight.  “You sure do smoke a lot though,” Hannah commented with a disarming tone as Breanna put the latest cigar in her mouth and officially brought it to life.

Breanna maintained a dialogue with Hannah about her cigar smoking for several exchanges, thrilling Breanna that Hannah was as interested in it as she’d hope the girl would be.  About a couple of minutes of discussing it, Breanna gave Hannah a mischievous grin and said “why don’t you give it a try”, extending her hand with the freshly lit cigar to Hannah.

Hannah briefly looked like the proverbial child from a 1980s afterschool special on the receiving end of peer pressure, wrinkling her nose a bit and then saying “I don’t know.”

“C’mon…just one puff.  You can see what it was like for me when I started.  Have you ever tried a cigarette or a vaporizer before?”

Hannah shook her head no.

“Good…then you won’t be tempted to inhale the smoke.  Just puff on it and blow it.”

Hannah nervously smiled and took the cigar from Breanna, the hulking stick of dark tobacco looking even larger in the hand of an 11-year-old child, with Hannah a bit grossed out by the saliva-covered butt Breanna had just slobbered all over.  Apprehension and curiosity filled Hannah’s face as she squinted her saucer-sized eyes and approached the big, smelly cigar to her lips, following Breanna’s instructions as she took a puff.  Breanna laughed as Hannah made displeased faces while blowing out the smoke.

“Haha, just one more quick puff,” Breanna instructed, knowing the second puff might be a little less nasty for her.  Hannah took one more puff and while still not appearing to love it, did seem to move incrementally towards the direction Breanna had hoped.  Breanna laughed and held out her hand to reclaim the cigar, not wanting to push her luck on it this afternoon, and adding “That was my reaction when I tried my first one too.  It’s definitely an acquired taste.  Took me weeks to get used to.”

The banter continued for a while longer but Breanna was now eager to cut short this first visit to Breanna’s place, again in the interest of not pushing her luck too early.  “Listen, I didn’t realize it was almost 5:00.  I better let you get home before your dad and stepmom get worried.”

Hannah wrinkled her nose again, as if not looking forward to going home.  Breanna, feeding off of this sentiment, added, “but I’ll tell you what, you’re right here in the neighborhood and I get off work at 3 every day.  If you’d rather come and visit me after school than hang out with your dad and stepmom, I’d love to have you over.”

Hannah smiled, really enjoying this visit to Breanna’s but still having a sense there was more going on than met the eye.  Breanna added that she’d probably be seeing her at the 7-11 if nothing else, fully prepared to engineer more “chance encounters” to keep the momentum rolling, but sensing that she now had Hannah interested enough that she might keep visiting without additional provocation.  She asked Hannah if she knew how to get to her dad’s place from there, sending the girl on her way confident she’d be seeing a lot more of her.


Breanna’s instinct was right as Hannah texted her after school that day asking if she could come over.  Breanna felt just like a schoolgirl who realized the boy she had a crush on also liked her.  Everything was going according to plan, and when Hannah wheeled into her driveway and hung out again that Friday after school, Breanna felt it was time to gradually step things up.  After about a half hour of banter, with Breanna puffing away on one of her cigars as always and Hannah continuing to eyeball her when she did so, Breanna made her move.

“You looked like such a gangster yesterday when you took the puff from my cigar,” Breanna said with a laugh.

Hannah laughed back.  “Really?”

“Totally!”  Breanna took a puff from the cigar and pretended to have just had a revelation.  “You know what would be fun?  To take some pics of you puffing on my cigar and then you can see yourself!”

Hannah laughed again, agreeing that would be kind of fun but not knowing if she really wanted to give that disgusting, intimidating cigar another try.   Breanna was aggressive but playful in taking out her phone and handing Hannah the cigar before Hannah had a chance to reject the proposition.  Before she even knew what was really going on, Hannah had Breanna’s cigar in her hand and a camera phone pointed at her.  Hannah giggled nervously as she placed the cigar to her mouth and took another puff while listening to the shutter close on the camera phone.  Breanna reclaimed her cigar and showed Hannah the pic she just took, which they both got a giggle from.

Breanna smoked briefly on the cigar and then suggested Hannah pose for a pic with her dangling the cigar from her mouth the way Breanna always does.  Despite feeling mildly bullied, Hannah followed the instruction and opened her small mouth fairly wide to fit the 50+ mm bandwidth cigar in it, removing her hand and clutching the cigar lightly with her teeth much like Breanna did as Breanna laughed and snapped a couple of pics.  Hannah struggled to avoid laughing keeping the big cigar perched in her mouth for a few moments.  Breanna eventually took hold of the cigar and began showing the pics to Hannah.  They continued to laugh as Hannah looked at the new pics taken, and Breanna could tell Hannah liked the look.

For the next half hour, Breanna handed Hannah her cigar a few times unsolicited, and every time Hannah took it and took a quick puff.  It was Friday afternoon and Breanna was concerned about loss of momentum heading into the weekend where she’d be with her mom, but she had established a rapport with young Hannah and they genuinely enjoyed each other’s company.  Breanna was pretty confident they’d be able to pick things up where they left off the following week.


Breanna and Hannah texted some over the weekend, with Breanna expressing excitement for hanging out again.  And come Monday afternoon, it happened, with Breanna again pushing the envelope and handing the cigar to Hannah with greater frequency, and Hannah accepting every time to the point where it almost became a reflex that Hannah didn’t even think about immersed in conversation.  Breanna observed Hannah coming to terms with the taste of the cigar smoke, and hopefully growing her tolerance for the nicotine.

With each passing day that first full week of May, Hannah consumed more and more from Breanna’s cigars being passed on to her repeatedly.  Towards the end of the week, they watched a movie together, passing the stogie back and forth nearly to the point of Hannah matching Breanna puff for puff.

Moving into the following week, Breanna was generally satisfied with the pace things were going but knew the timeline she was working with was still compressed, so she pushed the envelope yet again.  After passing another cigar back and forth with Hannah to its completion on that Monday afternoon, Breanna said, “You know, I think it’s time I let you have a cigar of your own!”

Hannah seemed a little hesitant to formalize this introduction.  Having merely sneaked puffs from Breanna’s cigars up until now, Hannah never really felt as though her experimentation was that serious.  But she also didn’t want Breanna to feel like she had to keep passing the stogie around if it was annoying to her, so she accepted.  Breanna showed her how to cut the end with the guillotine and how to toast the end of the cigar with the butane lighter before putting it in her mouth to take the first draw, all of which Hannah had picked up on just from watching Breanna.  Watching Hannah smoke her own cigar, Breanna knew she was at what may be the last genuinely critical phase of Hannah’s transformation.  Hannah had become comfortable with smoking cigars much more quickly than Breanna had nearly three years earlier when she started smoking them, but she also knew that if Hannah got sick from too much nicotine when smoking her first full cigar, she might still decide it’s not for her.  But Breanna watched her closely and knew Hannah had built up a decent tolerance with the gradual progression she’d been exposed to in the last 10 days.

Hannah smoked her first full cigar at a much slower clip than Breanna sucked hers down, as was expected, and Breanna decided upon seeing Hannah’s cigar was about 60% done that that would be enough for today.  When Hannah left on Monday with no signs of being sick, Breanna figured she’d built a tolerance for a continued slow-motion escalation.  The next day, Breanna explained to Hannah how the cigars have subtle flavor nuances that a connoisseur can identify, and tried to point out as the two of them smoked their respective cigars what flavor changes she could identify as it smoked down.  Hannah was barely able to identify the changes but sometimes pretended to notice since she was increasingly concerned with maintaining Breanna’s approval.

Throughout the week, Hannah smoked her own cigar every day when she went to meet Breanna after school, and Hannah was concerned the smell was gonna give her away.  Her father was typically gone when she got to his place and her stepmom and her kids were relatively indifferent when Hannah finally rolled in from Breanna’s place, but it was a different story when her mom picked her up at 8:30 when she finally got off work.  Even though Hannah had made a point to change her clothes and wash her hair, Alexis still couldn’t help but shake that there was a faint smoky odor when Hannah climbed into her car.  That didn’t make much sense to Alexis though and she kept convincing herself that she’d become nose blind from all the smoke at work and the smell she detected was just the lingering aroma of Breanna’s cigar smoke from the office.

By Friday of that week, when Hannah came over and Breanna handed her a cigar moments after arrival, Hannah finally vocalized what the last two weeks had made clear, giggling as Breanna lit her up that “you’re turning me into a smoker!”

The way Hannah said it did not indicate much of a resistance, but Breanna knew she had to tread carefully, responding through the cigar hanging from her mouth “what can I say, kid, you’re a natural!  You’ve mastered it much better than I did when I started.  And admit it, you kind of like it, don’t you?” Breanna added with a wink.

Hannah shrugged and giggled, taking a puff of the cigar and then exhaling it before admitting, “A little.”

“The taste is growing on you?” Breanna pressed on.

Hannah nodded affirmatively.

“And you like that rush that goes to your head after you’ve been smoking it for awhile?”

Hannah nodded with a smile again.

“And you like how badass you look while smoking it?”

Hannah nodded and giggled again, this time placing the giant cigar in her mouth and holding there like Breanna always did.

Breanna laughed out loud and then joked, “I wouldn’t mess with you!”

Hannah tried to articulate a comeback through the giant cigar in her mouth as Breanna always did but mumbled incoherently before laughing at her fail and then grabbed the cigar from her mouth to avoid losing it.  The smoke sputtered out of Hannah’s mouth when she asked Breanna “how do you talk with the cigar in your mouth?”

Breanna continued the roll of giggles in what had increasingly become a slumber party environment, looking Hannah in the eyes and saying through the cigar perched in her mouth, “Don’t worry.  We’ll work on it with you.”

Hannah nodded affirmatively while taking another puff from her cigar.  Breanna knew she had Hannah completely on the hook at this point.


The following week, with the weather getting increasingly nice by the third week in May, Breanna took Hannah’s cigar habit to the great outdoors.  The two of them strutted down walking trails with cigars in hand, conversing casually and looking like older sister and younger sister, almost always eliciting the shocked looks of passersby.  Hannah was understandably bashful about being seen with the cigar at first, but Breanna’s gambit was almost normalizing it for her, and she could tell it was working.  A trip to the mall the next day served as a way for Breanna to start buying a new wardrobe for Hannah and to further normalize her cigar smoking in the most public of venues, with both girls stepping out of the mall with bags full of clothes lighting their cigars and taking the long way through the parking lot back to Breanna’s car to get the maximum attention from onlookers.  Hannah did her best to avoid eye contact and stay aloof as instructed, strutting on by those gawking at her while quietly thrilled with the attention.

Breanna had also been practicing Hannah’s dangles as promised, as well as talking with the cigar in her mouth.  She was surprised at how quickly Hannah had progressed in just a few days, and by Thursday, it was time to put Hannah’s developing skills to the test in a venue that Breanna also hoped would help enhance the rebellious thrill aspect of cigar smoking for Hannah.  The rebelliousness and political incorrectness of cigar smoking was its primary draw for Breanna when she picked up the habit, and she could sense Hannah was getting off on some of that as well.  And on Thursday afternoon, Breanna trained Hannah on leaving an unforgettable mark on the local farmer’s market.

Breanna had been planning the scenario for a good week and guided Hannah step by step what she figured would be a fun exercise.  Breanna slinked up one of the two dozen vendors and quietly propped up her camera phone on the base of a street light, aiming the lens on the most isolated of the vendors, pushing the button for it to record and then gave Hannah, who was waiting in Breanna’s car, the hand motion to come on over.  Hannah emerged from the car, cigar in hand, clearly nervous but working up the adrenaline for her performance art debut.  Breanna winked at Hannah as they crossed paths with Breanna walking back to the car to watch the show from the lot.  Hannah placed her relatively new blond-ish Churchill cigar in her mouth and kept walking right on up to the farmers’ market vendor.

The middle-aged couple working the stand slowly took notice of the approaching child and couldn’t believe what they were seeing as she walked right on up to them with the huge cigar in her mouth.  They first presumed it was some odd joke that would be revealed shortly after they played along long enough to ask the girl “Can we help you?”

The heat was on but Hannah was up to the challenge, successfully answering through the cigar in her mouth, “yes, I actually have a list here of things I’d like.  Can I get three green peppers, a half dozen radishes, a dozen cherry tomatoes, and a half pound of strawberries?”

The older couple looked at Hannah with inexplicable shock realizing this was an actual customer encounter and after a couple of moments of awkward silence, agreed to the terms and started gathering the requested items to sell to her.  They both kept one eye on Hannah as she stood there, trying to hide her trembling nerves while puffing copiously on the cigar and stinking up the entire area near the vendor.  A few moments later, they punched up the total on a calculator and announced, “That’ll be $17.75,” still waiting for some cameraman to come out of the woods and announce this was all for a TV show.

Instead, Hannah quietly dug in her jeans pocket, pulling out a crumbled up $10 bill, a $5, and three singles.  She looked sincerely at the couple, asking again through a cloudburst of cigar smoke spilling out of her mouth, “Can you make change for this?”

The man nodded in continued disbelief, taking the money from Hannah and giving her a quarter back.  Hannah picked up the produce in the two bags they provided and offered them a sweet “thank you” before turning around leaving one final trail of smelly cigar smoke for the older couple to remember her by as she walked away.  Hannah finally broke her poker face as she looked back to Breanna in the car, bursting with excitement for having pulled off the encounter without a hitch.  Walking past the lamp post, she swiped the phone recording the encounter and proceeded back to Breanna’s car, knowing the older couple was watching her every step of the way.

“So I bet that was pretty fun, huh?” Breanna asked, smoking her own cigar, as Hannah put the produce on the floor and excitedly began looking at the phone.

“Oh my God.  It was great!” Hannah exclaimed as she and Breanna leaned in to watch the video.  Hannah giggled seeing herself in action and was impressed with herself for keeping her cool.

“You were soooo good!” Breanna exclaimed as both of them giggled away at the playback.

“I can’t believe they didn’t say anything.  I thought they were gonna call the police on me or something!”  Hannah responded.

“I told you.  They’re vendors looking to make a sale.  The customer is always right for them.”  Breanna said halfheartedly, but in reality was a little surprised herself that there was no pushback.  “But you did give them a story to tell their friends and neighbors about for months to come.”

The giggles kept rolling as they watched the entire encounter and then watched it again.  Breanna stuck her cigar in her mouth and looked Hannah in the eye to tell her, “You did good, kid,”  really starting to revel in her Miyagi-like mentor role to this generation’s Daniel-san. Hannah smiled back and then inserted her giant cigar in her mouth just as Breanna did.  Breanna pulled the car out of the lot and they were heading back to Breanna’s place, with cigars dangling from both of their mouths.


As mid-May morphed into late May, Breanna knew that with as great as her plan was going, she still needed to step things up to meet her timeline.  Breanna and Hannah were hanging out that fourth Monday in May at Breanna’s place as usual, smoking cigars and giggling like the best friends they had quietly become, when Hannah finished her cigar in a little over an hour.  Usually, after she finished her cigar, it was her cue to get ready to take off.  But today, Breanna reached into the humidor on her table and pulled out another cigar, this one a dark maduro in the same Churchill size, handing it to Hannah and saying “Give this one a try.  Tell me if you like it more or less than the ones I’ve given you so far.”  Breanna was thrilled when Hannah didn’t hesitate to accept, asking her questions about what to expect from the maduro as she clipped the end and began toasting it.  She could tell Hannah was enjoying the flavor right away as she placed it in her mouth and took her first draw.  Every step of the way, Hannah was exceeding Breanna’s expectations and she couldn’t have been more thrilled with it.

A few days later, Hannah had quickly grown into a two-cigar habit every day, and Breanna thought she was ready for another social test, this time with boys.  Breanna had been prepping her for the moment for a couple of days, explaining in detail her own associations with the power of cigar smoking to dominate any situation and to be intimidating and imposing on others.   Having seen Hannah’s response with the farmers’ market vendor, Breanna knew this next step would be an even stronger confidence-booster for Hannah…not to mention a whole lot of fun.

The two of them had gotten some ice cream at a nearby suburban sundae shop, not yet smoking, sitting on the outdoor patio and surveying the booths for boys Hannah’s age. With each spoonful of ice cream, the girls evaluated the crowd until they zeroed in on a duo of 12-13-year-old boys, one in particular who Hannah was most interested in.  Breanna advised her to establish and maintain a flirty eye contact with him for the duration of the ice cream snack.  She could tell Hannah’s experience with boys was very limited but she also knew that her confidence had soared in these last few weeks, and with Breanna backing her up, she knew Hannah could pull this off.

After a few minutes of making eyes with these boys and capturing their interest, Breanna knew the boys wouldn’t fail to notice when the transition from ice cream sundae to the “real dessert” was made.  With both girls grinning ear to ear, Breanna and Hannah began toasting their giant dark maduro cigars, diverting their attention from lighting them just enough to notice that the boys who had been engaging in casually flirty eye contact up until now were now staring with wide-eyed disbelief.  Hannah and Breanna played it cool, flashing tootsie smiles their way as they brought their cigars to their lips and started smoking.  They both knew that the boys were far from the only ones in the seating area looking at them aghast, but in their minds, those two boys were the only ones in the crowd worth paying attention to.  Breanna and Hannah gave them about a minute to get familiar with the idea of the two of them smoking big cigars in such a public venue, but on Breanna’s motion, quickly made their move to strike while the iron was hot.

The boys were briefly bummed seeing Breanna and Hannah climbing out of their chairs, expecting that they were leaving, but the boys’ disappointment quickly turned to terror upon noticing that the girls were walking towards them, maintaining an aggressive come-hither eye contact and body language.  Breanna and Hannah were decked out in matching low-cut white blouses and pale blue daisy duke jean shorts, cigars firmly clutched in their mouths as they swaggered on over to the boys with their long brown hair hanging onto bare shoulders.  Hannah didn’t have the curves to fully pull the outfit off, but Breanna made sure she did as good as possible for Hannah with that shopping trip they took the week before.  The boys certainly liked what they saw, nervously admiring both girls and wondering to themselves if this was all a dream up until the point that Breanna and Hannah stopped right in front of their table.

Hannah in particular made a point of invading the space of the boy she picked out, walking as close to him as possible without feeling weird and making sure her cigar was close enough that he could feel the heat from the cherry.  “Mind if we sit here with you,” Hannah asked, coolly talking through her cigar dangle as though she’d been doing it for years.

“Sure,” the boy responded, bewildered and more than a bit terrified about this unusual and aggressive girl and her older friend.

Hannah smiled and sat down while Breanna did the same at the seat across the table, next to the boy’s friend.  “I’m Hannah,” she introduced herself through a continued talking dangle, stretching out her hand to shake and making sure the cigar smoke spilled through her mouth and into the boy’s face.  “This is my older sister Breanna,” Hannah added, subtly winking at Breanna.

“I’m Caleb,” the petrified blond-haired boy said, betraying a subdued confidence which Hannah immediately picked up on and guessed that this boy was used to being quite the ladies’ man in whatever junior high school he attended.  “This is my friend Nick,” Caleb said, pointing to his brunette friend sitting next to Breanna who, if anything, looked even more paralyzed with social anxiety than Caleb.   Breanna sweetly introduced herself to both boys, maintaining her oral grip on the giant dark cigar and belching out clouds of smoke for the boys to choke on.

Breanna broke the ice, hoping to hand the baton to Hannah, “We just saw you boys looking at us and figured you might like some company.”  Breanna said before removing the cigar from between her fingers and looking at Hannah, motioning the girl to follow her lead as discussed and placing her right elbow on the table, cigar in hand tilted at a 45-degree angle only inches from Nick’s face.  Breanna then continued, looking at Caleb and saying “My sister here thought you were pretty cute, Caleb.”

Hannah was removing the cigar from her mouth, placing her left elbow on the table and positioning her cigar just as Breanna had, fully invading Caleb’s space.  Hannah let a burst of smoke explode from her mouth as she playfully said “Breanna!!!!” in a scolding tone for what she had just said to Caleb, but then looking at Caleb and confirming that “But she’s right.  I do think you’re kind of cute.”

The girls kept their eyes trained on their young male prey, with Caleb and Nick trying to look at the girls, but having a hard time taking their eyes off of the giant dark brown cigars the girls were holding in front of their faces.  Nick in particular was studying the hulking sticks of tobacco in their hands….the dark and oily wrapper….the smoldering burn line and its contrast with the pale gray ash….the dominating smoke pouring off the burning end and trickling out the unlit end, especially in the seconds after either of the girls took a puff…..and the moist end where the girls’ lips kept on sucking.  It was unlike anything the boys had ever experienced before.  Under normal circumstances, they would find the odor disgusting and the entire performance offensive, but watching these comely young females so obnoxiously impose their filthy habits upon them at such close range with such chutzpah, they instead found themselves turned on like they never had been before, hoping the girls wouldn’t look down and notice their bulging crotches.

Hannah led the way through the small talk, soldiering through her bashful instincts and carrying herself with as much confidence as possible while also being as aggressive and imposing as possible, never conceding an inch just as Breanna advised, knowing that the boys wouldn’t ask them to concede an inch as they got off on this power dynamic.  Breanna and Hannah were both thrilled when a pause in the small talk led Caleb to inquire about the cigar smoking.  Perhaps because he was even more intimidated by Hannah, he looked to Breanna first and asked, “So do you guys, like, smoke cigars a lot?”

“All the time,” Breanna responded curtly and playfully.

“So like every day?” Caleb progressed, her answer not quelling his curiosity.

“All day, every day.  Morning till bedtime,” Breanna answered with the same feminine confidence, taking a huge puff and exhaling it into the air for maximum visual effect.

After Caleb heard this from Breanna, he turned to Hannah, who he was even more fascinated by.  “How about you?”

“Oh I’m the same,” Hannah said, dragging from her cigar.  “I smoke them constantly,” exaggerating her level of consumption compared to Breanna’s but could tell from Caleb’s body language that he was thrilled by the answer as she made her most aggressive move yet, exhaling her cigar smoke directly into his face through pursed lips, then transitioning those pursed lips into a flirty smile.  Breanna was so proud of Hannah and figured Caleb may have creamed his shorts at that moment.

And so the conversation went from there, with more interrogation about the girls’ cigar smoking and more small talk, with the girls continuing to puff copiously on their cigars, continuing to hold their cigars only inches from the boys’ faces with their elbows on the table, and both girls mixing it up occasionally by playfully blowing their smoke into the faces of the boy sitting nearest to them.  They could tell the boys were growing repulsed by the invasive assault of smoke, but also knew they wouldn’t even dream of objecting, enduring the olfactory abuse simply because it was coming from these hot girls.  It went on for nearly an hour before Breanna suggested to Hannah they “better get home.”  This was Hannah’s cue to make one final request, a request that would have been beyond her wildest imagination an hour earlier but now seemed almost quaint after what she’d delivered at this table.

“I really liked chatting with you Caleb.  Give me your phone and I’ll put my number in it.”

Caleb, still thinking this might all be a dream, quietly handed Hannah the phone as she punched in her digits with her three-quarters smoked cigar hanging out of her mouth as she typed.  She didn’t know if she’d take any of Caleb’s calls or not but felt powerful giving him the option.  She handed him back the phone and removed the cigar from her mouth, moving in nervously for her first “real” kiss.  Caleb had been quietly hoping the encounter would end this way and now his fantasy was becoming a reality as Hannah planted her nicotine-stained lips on his.  As intense as the stench was from Hannah’s secondhand smoke for the past hour, the sensation was even stronger as he tasted her breath directly for a few short seconds before she pulled away.  For her part, Hannah was thrilled with herself for making a move she never would have considered even a week earlier, knowing that Caleb would secretly wish he could taste fresh cigar smoke on the breath of every other girl he kissed in the foreseeable future.

Nick, the friend who had remained relatively quiet for much of the conversation decided to swing for the fences as Breanna was getting up to leave in the chair next to him.  “Do I get a kiss too?” he asked Breanna, only half joking.

Breanna smiled and said, “Sorry Nick but you’re a little young for me,” shooting him down with a flirty flourish and exhaling one final blast of cigar smoke into his face as a consolation prize before standing up to leave with Hannah.  They both waved and said “bye guys” before walking away, shaking their booties in those daisy dukes knowing Nick and Caleb, and probably several others, were watching every hip flourish as the girls walked away, a trail of their dirty cigar smoke following them like the chimneys from coal-fired stoves.  Breanna and Hannah tried to contain their elation until they were out of sight, but both looked at the other with the most electric giddiness yet, waiting to release some of the excitement they’d let build inside themselves for more than an hour.  Hannah was at this point loving this reinvention of herself as much as Breanna was loving grooming her protege, and for the first time Breanna had little doubt she would be able to accomplish her long-range plan.


There were only two more weeks of school, one of them shortened because of Memorial Day weekend.  Breanna and Hannah continued to hang out together almost every day after Hannah got off from school, doing a variety of activities until an hour or so before Hannah’s mom got off work, with Hannah smoking back-to-back cigars every day.  While not being upfront about her motives, Breanna spilled the beans to Hannah what she thought she should do with her summer once school got out, and to Breanna’s relief, Hannah was thrilled with the idea even though it would mean coming out to her mother about her new smoking habit.  Breanna promised she’d “make her mom understand” and was able to calm Hannah’s fears.

In the meantime, they had plenty of shopping to do to prepare Hannah for her summer duties.  As her friendship with Breanna grew tighter, Hannah’s initial instinct of feeling a bit used by Breanna dissipated.  And now that Breanna was rolling out big bucks for designer clothes for her, Hannah felt indebted to Breanna, wanting to deliver for her and make her proud as she had already with the oddball stunts that Breanna had engineered.

It was the last day of May when Hannah’s school year ended.  Breanna took a vacation week at work for the first week of June for one final round of grooming of her pint-sized protege.  Meanwhile, Breanna scheduled Alexis for double shifts to “fill in for some of her work while she was away”.  She was hoping Alexis hadn’t yet connected all these dots and couldn’t believe when Hannah told her that her mom had not seemed to notice that her daughter reeked of cigar smoke.  After all the planning and risks taken, there was just one more week to go.


Right away on Monday morning, Breanna picked up Hannah up for their planned “long drive”.  The four-hour drive each way from suburban St. Louis to northwestern Missouri would give Breanna and Hannah their longest-yet opportunity to bond.  Right away when Hannah climbed inside Breanna’s car, she laid her hands on one of Breanna’s cigars as though the routine was becoming just that for her…a routine.  Breanna just loved that Hannah was embracing the opportunity for a cigar at 8 a.m., with Hannah even commenting how she was now starting to notice the flavor changes as she smoked the way Breanna had described.

Breanna’s BMW made good time heading west on I-70, both girls puffing away on their stogies and connecting even better than usual.  Breanna went into this grooming process blind, knowing virtually nothing about young Hannah and being fearful early on that the girl would be too immature or too bratty to handle.  She knew she would have been at Hannah’s age!  Instead, Breanna found herself a new best friend.  Hannah had become like the baby sister she never had, and Hannah made an unsolicited confession on this drive that she felt the same way about Breanna.  It was then that Breanna was hit with an uncharacteristic wave of guilt.  She’d felt some guilt about what she was doing to Hannah already, but the “sisterly bond” confessions really raised it to a new level.  An hour and a half into the drive, when Hannah discarded her first cigar and then immediately reached into the humidor in Breanna’s purse for a second one, Breanna reached her breaking point….

A tear formed in Breanna’s eye as she took her eyes off the road and watched Hannah toasting her latest Churchill cigar, putting it in her mouth, and taking the first draw.  Hannah looked at Breanna with those innocent saucer-sized eyes, a blast of cigar smoke flowing from her mouth and creating a haze inside the car, and Hannah quickly sensed the sadness in Breanna’s eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Hannah asked, still in a peppy mood but sensing an emotional pivot.

Breanna just looked at her for a second and gave her a pitied smile, not knowing quite what to say upon reaching this epiphany of the innocence she had corrupted in only a month, reducing herself to the tactics of a creepy child predator primarily in the interest of settling a petty score with a coworker.  Finally, Breanna settled upon the closest talking point she could come up with to defuse the situation she created.

“Hannah, I know you saw what I did at the office with that guy.  I don’t want you to think that’s normal.  And I don’t want you to think you should be doing that anytime soon,” Breanna said in a sensitive tone.

A confused Hannah had a look of befuddlement as she clutched the large blond cigar in her mouth but quickly grew embarrassed when she realized the subject had turned to sex, her face briefly turning as red as the cherry on her cigar.  Hannah buried her face in her hands, giggling as she exclaimed, “I’m not planning on doing anything like THAT with Caleb!”

Breanna’s somber tone broke as she giggled back upon hearing Hannah’s response but then continued to reinforce her point.  “I didn’t mean Caleb or any guy generally.  I guess I’m saying hanging out with me has forced you to grow up a lot and will continue to this summer.  That might not be a bad thing overall but please proceed on your own timetable with boys from this point forward.  You will be stronger in the end if you make them wait for it….and make yourself wait for it.”

Hannah focused closely on Breanna’s words, taken aback by the rare moment of serious candor.  And for her part, Breanna was taken aback by the fact that she was growing into this big sister role to the point of giving Hannah life advice.  It all seemed a little empty given that she was otherwise so thoroughly corrupting the child, but it helped clear her conscience just enough to keep the rest of her plan on autopilot, changing the subject back to fun stuff and cranking up the Shawn Mendes for a smoky sing-along as the girls kept driving west.

A couple of hours later, they arrived at their destination….the Northwest Steak House near St. Joseph where Breanna’s defiant indoor cigar-smoking episode from two years earlier led to an outdoor assault.  Breanna had pushed her luck and returned to this steak house a few more times in the years since, whenever she had business in northwestern Missouri.  When Breanna told Hannah there was a restaurant where they could smoke cigars after their meals, Hannah thought she was putting her on.  But now Breanna was about to prove she was right, taking Hannah to the only nice restaurant she was aware of where smoking was still allowed.

Breanna and Hannah walked inside, turning heads even without their cigars in their matching tanktops and white shorts, a mirage of youthful female innocence that was about to drop a massive stink bomb on the preconceived notions of the restaurant patrons.  It was a weekday and they got there in the late afternoon, so the crowd wasn’t large, but Breanna was met at the door by a familiar early 30s waitress with the nametag “Agnes” pinned to her blouse.  Agnes recognized Breanna from past visits and took Breanna to the “smoking section”, insofar as there was one, without a reminder.  As Agnes seated them and inquired about “the young lady”, Breanna once again introduced Hannah as her “younger sister” going on a road trip on her first day of summer vacation.  Breanna got off on this introduction setting the waitress up for Hannah’s much more corrupting display after her meal.

The girls enjoyed their steak dinner, but Hannah in particular racing to the finish line eager for her after-dinner cigar.  As Breanna and Hannah broke out their respective maduros from their purses and began to toast them, Breanna was thrilled with how poised Hannah seemed, not quite as nervous as she expected knowing that the previous few weeks of preparation had already worked to normalize public cigar smoking as part of her new lifestyle.  Moments after they were lit, Agnes returned to ask them how they were doing.  She smelled the cigar smoke and was prepared to see Breanna smoking one, but froze with surprise when she noticed Hannah also held a big dark brown cigar in her little fingers.

Agnes was clearly not thrilled at the sight of this child smoking in her restaurant, but valued Breanna as a customer and made small talk anyway. “Having a cigar with big sis, huh?” Agnes asked Hannah as she cleared the finished plates and silverware off of their table, hoping the response would at least give away that this was a rare “treat”.

Instead, Hannah completely ad-libbed a response she knew Breanna would be proud of, confidently firing back with “Yup, a cigar always tastes best after a big meal!”, echoing a sentiment she’d heard Breanna say before.   Agnes didn’t respond but was clearly unapproving as she carried away the dishes from the stinky table rapidly clouding up with exhaled cigar smoke.

The restaurant continued to suffer from a mellow late afternoon weekday crowd, which didn’t provide Breanna and Hannah the audience they would have preferred for their massively stinky show, but the upside was that there was no pressure from Agnes for them to leave as the girls bantered about without a care in the world, smoking down their cigars and stinking up the restaurant for the few diners in there.  A couple of older visitors in for the “early bird special” laid eyes on the girls with their cigars and Breanna and Hannah had all they could do to keep from bursting out laughing at the stunned responses, imagining some of these little old ladies pissing their own Depends from the unlikely imagery.  One more cigar culturalization experience down for Hannah….and now a long drive home.

Breanna only gave Hannah until they got to the freeway before pushing another cigar on her, doing her best to turn the girl’s habit into a lifestyle in as short of time as possible.  Hannah put up no resistance and took another blond Churchill, beginning to fire it up.  They were at a stoplight near the freeway entrance and a middle-aged male commuter was in the right lane, looking over towards Breanna’s car at the very moment as Hannah placed the recently toasted cigar into her mouth for the first draw.  The stunned guy kept staring in her direction as the fresh smoke began to burst from her innocent young face.  Hannah maintained eye contact with the guy, who couldn’t look away at this spectacle.  Hannah kept the cigar parked in her mouth and puffed from it, and then decided to flash the 40-something man a cutesy wave much like she and Breanna bid Caleb and Nick adieu with 10 days earlier.  The traffic light turned green and Breanna proceeded forward, having no idea this encounter was playing out in the passenger seat as Hannah maintained eye contact on this guy until their cars separated out of sight.  Hannah was really beginning to understand the power her cigar smoking had and would continue to have if she kept it up.  A light had gone off in Hannah’s soul in these last few weeks and it was not going back off anytime soon.

It was a long drive back to suburban St. Louis, with Hannah and Breanna continuing to enjoy each other’s company like long-time best friends.  Hannah finished her fourth cigar of the day with two more hours of drive time, and while part of her felt like she had nicotine overload, she couldn’t shake the image of that middle-aged male driver looking at her like she was a gangster.  It was a total power trip for her…and she loved that image for herself.  Without any provocation from Breanna, Hannah reached into her humidor for a fifth cigar of the day only a few minutes after finishing her last one.  Breanna quietly glowed with the pride of a parent watching her child’s first step.


The rest of that week was the final week of “training”, with Hannah ditching her dad and stepmom’s place early in the morning after her mom dropped her off, giving the excuse of “playing with her friends” to gratify what little interest her stepmom had when Hannah announced she was leaving.  A short bike ride to Breanna’s place later and the cigar smoke started flowing and stayed that way all day long.  Over the course of several hours, Hannah would match Breanna cigar for cigar, smoking four or even five of them over the time period and never appearing to grow tired of them.  Breanna made a point of laundering Hannah’s clothes to kill the cigar stench as much as possible, attempting to hide it for a few more days.  Hannah was nervous about the promised “coming out” moment pending the following Monday but Breanna assured her it would be completely under control and she would be able to proceed with her “new life” with mom’s grudging acceptance.

Breanna rarely wished away her weekend based on pending excitement for Monday morning, but she sure did this weekend, spending her Sunday night crafting the perfect department-wide e-mail that would be waiting in the inbox of everybody in the collections department first thing Monday morning, announcing the introduction of the new office intern.  She hoped she would be able to sleep that night as the excitement built for the final phase of her epic revenge plot become realized.


The following morning, the collections department was hard at their Monday morning work for an hour, having read but quickly forgotten the e-mail about the new intern’s arrival.  Breanna was fashionably late as always, but nobody including Alexis realized there was a reason for it today.  The clicking of heels from down the hallway was the telltale reminder of Breanna’s tardy arrival around 9:00.  Breanna stopped at the common area near the printers several yards before arriving at her office, announcing aloud that she’d like everyone to come meet the new intern.

Alexis was in her cubicle finishing some final data entry but was eager to meet this new intern, figuring as everybody else did that Breanna had found a way to hire some buff new sextoy for herself despite her father firing Antonio.  But before she even got out in the hallway, Alexis could feel something was off based on the silence of coworkers.  Still, nothing could have prepared her for what she saw when stepped out into the hallway to find two young females, dressed alike in candy apple red blouses and black leather miniskirts with freshly lit hulking cigars hanging from their mouths.  A satisfied smirk on Breanna’s face was met with unmitigated horror by Alexis looking at her 11-year-old daughter as the miniature sidekick to Breanna, dressed alike and smoking a cigar.

Alexis worked through her despair for the next several moments, putting together the pieces of all the subtle clues of the past several weeks, never imagining that even Breanna would be evil enough to corrupt her sweet daughter.  She looked in her daughter’s eyes and even though Hannah appeared very nervous, Alexis could see just by looking at her that she was a different person…..that the light had flipped and turned Hannah into a pint-sized version of her abhorrent boss, and that there would be no way to unring this bell.  And that only became more clear as she observed her daughter’s well-practiced smoking, casually belching out smoke on both sides of the obnoxiously large cigar in her mouth.

Alexis couldn’t even muster a response as Breanna began speaking through the cigar in her own mouth, “As you all may know, my father eliminated the personal assistant position for this department in April.  Once that happened, I had to think outside the box on how to get new young talent a head start at Dirks Financial, and then a light went off.  We’ll go with an unpaid internship for an aspiring young student.”  Breanna continued making direct eye contact with Alexis adding, “Some of you may already be familiar with this young lady, but her name is Hannah Sampson.  She’ll be 12 years old this summer and has a very bright future in front of her, hopefully with this company.”

Breanna continued with introductions, and the unamused staff went through the motions of shaking hands as Hannah introduced them all individually.  She saved Alexis for last, twisting the knife as she said, “And Alexis, I think you may already know this young lady, but this is Hannah.  She likes dolphins, Shawn Mendes, and smoking the fattest and smelliest cigars money can buy…..all day long!” she added with a flourish.

The rest of the employees stood there waiting to see if Alexis would fight back against this unthinkable move from Breanna, hovering in that hallway to find out.  Finally, Alexis responded meekly with “You can’t hire an 11-year-old girl at this company without parental permission and you don’t have parental permission!”

Breanna’s mouth formed into a teeth-gritting smile as she fired back with, “Actually, I do”, breaking out a form letter from her purse.  Alexis took it from Breanna and perused the permission slip, her eyes rolling to the bottom of the page to see the signature of Stewart Sampson, her ex-husband.  Breanna could tell the bottom had just fallen out of Alexis’s chest, realizing that this was now a done deal.

Hannah then spoke up, the stogie remaining perched perfectly in her mouth as she articulated herself.  “I just want to spend the summer here and get some work experience, mom.  And to hang out more with my new best friend Breanna.  That’s okay, isn’t it?”

Alexis was once again at a loss for words, directing her defeated eyes at Breanna one last time and recognizing that Breanna was always going to win.  Had Alexis not brought Hannah in for Bring Your Daughter To Work day, none of this would be happening right now and the worst she’d have to worry about is listening to Breanna’s obnoxious bell multiple times a day along with her inappropriate sex sessions in her office with Antonio.  But now she lost her daughter to this monster.

And as the summer rolled on, Alexis had to learn to live with the changes unfolding right in front of her, the situation worsened by the fact that Breanna and Hannah enjoyed an obvious friendship.  Their giggling that filled the halls at multiple points each day would under ordinary circumstances have brought a welcome humanity to her bitch boss, but knowing that it came at the expense of her daughter’s innocence made it cut like a dagger.  Hannah now came and went as she pleased, accompanied Breanna to collections encounters where she knew Breanna behaved irresponsibly based on what she’d heard from multiple account holders, and dressed in the age-inappropriate leather-heavy business outfits that Breanna had bought for her.

And worst of all for Alexis, she hardly ever saw Hannah without a cigar for the rest of the summer.  She was smoking them all day and every day just like Breanna, firing one up at home first thing every morning, smoking in the car on the way to and home from work when commuting together, and lurking around every corner in the office with a smelly cigar sticking out of her face every single day at work.  At home and at work, Alexis recoiled at the sight of overflowing ashtrays full of nasty cigar butts left behind by her daughter just as Breanna always left to stink up in her office.

For her part, Hannah loved her new life.   Deep down, she knew Breanna intended to use her as a prop for reasons she didn’t fully understand, but she never questioned the sincerity of their friendship and that they each filled the role of the “sister” that neither had ever had.  And although Breanna was undeniably a bad influence, she always made sure Hannah never drifted off the razor’s edge, and was helpful whenever Hannah confided secrets to her.  At summer’s end, Breanna promised her new intern a trip to SeaWorld, coming and going on the company’s cigar-soaked corporate jet, giving Hannah one additional perk to look forward to.

But most of all, Hannah just loved being a cigar smoker, and found new reasons to remain excited about it every day.  Even at her young age, she totally got why Breanna got off on it.  Every morning in the office, Hannah was sent on her rounds to gather the days collections folders from every employee in the department.  The highlight of the morning run was her daily visit to the desk of Keith, the middle-aged guy who was the first she was introduced to on Take Your Daughter To Work Day.  Hannah vividly recalled being the bashful child talked down to by the 50-something Keith only two short months ago.  Fast forward to today and Hannah confidently strutted into his cubicle each morning, cigar clutched between her jaws, politely but assertively requesting he hand over the collections files and making sure to spray out as much cigar smoke as possible into his cubicle.   Just like that day in northwest Missouri where the similar appearing middle-aged guy saw Hannah lighting up a cigar, Keith now felt like Hannah’s inferior, vaguely intimidated by this aggressive child and her very adult habit.  In only two months, he went from treating her like a cute child to treating her like a mob boss.   And that was the greatest feeling in the world to Hannah.




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Minnesota State Fair Overview

The Minnesota State Fair is my favorite sightings venue of the year.  It has been delivering for me consistently since I was a boy and has been the source of a long list of my best sightings of all-time.  Going back to 1993, I have scored 3,979 sightings at the Minnesota State Fair.  The list has become so long that I’ve written my own shorthand version of a top-350 sightings of all-time from the MNSF.  And even that list only represents less than 10% of total sightings over the last 20 years.  From there I’ve narrowed it down to a top-100 list…

Below I will make a list documenting the total number of sightings I scored each year at the Minnesota State Fair since I started keeping count. …

Chart 1

1993–2 sightings
2009, Trip 1–206
2009, Trip 2—95
2010, Trip 1—117
2010, Trip 2—212

2011, Trip 1–194

2011, Trip 2–203

2012, Trip 1–186

2012, Trip 2–199

2013, Trip 1–180

2013, Trip 2–196

2014, Trip 1–178

2014, Trip 2–182

2015, Trip 1–183

2015, Trip 2–164

2016, Trip 1–170

2016, Trip 2–220

2017, Trip 1–156

2017, Trip 2–183

Now I’ll do a brief year-to-year synopsis to accompany the charts….

1993–The year I finally broke through with my first memorable sighting after eight years of attending the Minnesota State Fair with a bourgeoning but still undefined smoking fetish.  I had just turned 16 a couple days before my first consequential MNSF sighting transpired, and I couldn’t have asked for a better “sweet 16” gift.  Grade:  B+

1994–Sightings of smokers were not on my mind and I spent much of my day at free country music concerts in the bandshell.  This was the only year of the last 18 where I didn’t score a single memorable sighting. Grade: Incomplete

1995– Pretty much a carbon copy of the year before except for one significant development…..a vintage sighting of a hot blonde near the sandcastles.  I had just turned 18 and on my continued slow road to having a defined smoking fetish.  This sighting was one more stepping stone on that road.  Grade:  B

1996–Two days before I left for college, I had no idea that I was about to have an even more consequential day in the trajectory of my life, but on August 28, 1996, exactly that happened.  I was attending a bandshell concert with my mom and stumbled into the epic foursome that would become immortalized as “The State Fair Girls”.  There are few days in the history of my fetish as momentous as this one.  Grade:  A

1997– All those years in the 90s I wasted with trucking through commercial exhibit buildings with my parents, attending bandshell concerts during the day, and leaving in the mid-to-late afternoon after only 7-8 hours at the fair….all during the era where teen smoking rates were at their highest since the late 70s.  What a waste.  This was the final year in which I didn’t have smoker sightings in mind as I journeyed through the fairgrounds, but even without paying attention I managed to score one passing sighting of a babe smoking in a cluster of hotties.  Grade:  D+

1998–I had worked at the post office this summer and although I hadn’t fully come to terms with my smoking fetish by the time the MNSF came around at summer’s end, it was the first state fair where I was consciously looking for pretty girls with cigarettes.  So I had that part down…but I still hadn’t changed my ways, following in the folks’ shadows through the buildings and sitting at outdoor concerts during the day.  I did pull off a handful of mediocre sightings, but chalk this up to another wasted year at the exact time when teen girl smoking rates hit their peak.  Grade:  C-

1999–On May 11, 1999, I discovered the smoking fetish websites online and spent the rest of the summer intensely searching for sightings in a way I never had before.  This would be my first Minnesota State Fair with a confirmed smoking fetish.  Yet once again, for a final year, I was in my parents’ shadow for most of the day.  By mid-afternoon without any good sightings, I was feeling very disappointed…and straitjacketed.  There had to be a ton of smoking going on the grounds but I just wasn’t in a position to see it, I kept telling myself.  But I finally came up with the solution I should have came up with years earlier.  At age 22, I finally told the folks I was gonna wander the grounds for the final hour by myself.  In doing so, I saw a number of quality sightings, including a girl who remains in my top-75
MNSF sightings of all-time today. Needless to say, a monster was born…and the Minnesota State Fair would never be the same again.   Grade:  B-

2000–This was a year of transition for me in quite a few ways.  It was a gloomy and cool day and I had to leave the fair early to go to a job interview.  Not necessarily a recipe for a great day at the fair, but I nonetheless scored two of my top-15 MNSF sightings of all-time, including my #2 sighting ever, the best young girl sighting of my life.  It was transitional because I still spent about 40% of my day with the parents either in the buildings or at outdoor bandshell concerts.  No complaints this year as being with my parents facilitated both of my epic sightings of the day in their own way.  Still, it was the end of an era for both the daytime bandshell concerts and me spending any time at all with my parents.  The new millennium was gonna have an entirely new set of rules for the Minnesota State Fair.  Grade: A-

2001–The transition put into place two years prior reached its completion in 2001, the first MNSF that would resemble my current state fair safaris.  I separated from the folks early in the morning and navigated the grounds on my own terms.  I also counted sightings that I accrued on the grounds for the first time and was actually surprised when the number exceeded 100.  I had to wait until the dinner hour, but I managed to score two epic sightings that year.  Also new to 2001 was the shift of the bandshell concerts from the daytime to the evening. Starting at 8:30 p.m. Ronnie Milsap took the stage.  This was important because prior to 2001, my family had left the fairgrounds before dark every year.  Being able to stick around after dark would bring about a new MNSF experience and a boatload of new sightings.  And after all this, I would get home around midnight, log onto the computer, and find my one-month-old love interest Dana waiting for me online to hear all about my day at the fair and lamenting how she wished could have tagged along.  Needless to say, another great day.  Grade: A-

2002–I backslid a little this year from the previous year in a couple of ways.  My mom had to work a few hours early in the morning so we took off late and didn’t even get to the fairgrounds until after 11, a good two hours later than normal.  And there were no evening concerts and thus no grounds to stick around after dark, meaning we left at 7 p.m. once again.  Nonetheless, I navigated the grounds on my own again the entire day and dedicated the eight hours I did have that day exclusively to sightings.  How did they hold up?  Mixed bag.  I only had a couple Hall of Fame sightings that year and nothing in epic terrain.  Numberswise, however, I still pulled off more than 100 sightings in those eight hours, which is a pretty good timeframe for that number of sightings, even though plenty of them were third-tier sightings of moderately attractive single mothers and the like.  Not a bad day at the fair, but disappointing by MNSF standards.  Grade:  B-

2003–It was another year of an evening bandshell concert which of course facilitated a longer day at the fair that lasted until well after 10 p.m. Again, I flew solo all day and dedicated the entire day to sightings. The numbers were strikingly consistent with the previous two years with just over 100 sightings, but this year I scored three sightings in the near-epic category that remain in my top-40 today and bested anything scored at the 2002 MNSF.  I also scored my first blockbuster MNSF sighting during the evening hours, which set the stage for much more aggressive evening fetishing in the years to come.  My best years were still ahead of me, but this was indeed a good one.  Grade:  B+

2004–A year very similar to the previous year in that I flew solo all day and stuck around late for another evening concert.  Numberswise, I broke a previous record with 109 total sightings, but that was just a few more than I had scored the three previous years. There was only one big difference between 2004 and previous years.  The quality was astounding.  Right away in the morning, I was scoring epic and blockbuster sightings, the best of which was my Swisher Sweet girl still in my top-10 today.  The quality of the sightings held up over the course of the day and I managed five sightings that remain in my top-75 MNSF sightings. It was my most consistently satisfying sightings day at the MNSF thus far.  Grade:  A

2005–This was my 20th consecutive year at the Minnesota State Fair.   I was unemployed and had nothing to do.  And I had just had an epic local county fair with three of my best sightings of all-time.  All this meant I was rarin’ to go and was more excited about the emerging Minnesota State Fair than I had ever been before, so much so that I made the first incarnation of my top-25 MNSF sightings list of all time in the days before the fair.  So did it live up to the hype that year?  Not really.  It was my weakest Minnesota State Fair of the decade.  I barely crossed the 100-sighting threshold and there were no truly blockbuster sightings, as evidenced by how few entries 2005 has in my Hall of Fame.  It was still a more productive day than any of my 1990s safaris where I hung out with my parents all day and left by 5 p.m., but definitely the weakest from the 2000s, especially considering I was out on my own all day and stayed until 10:30 p.m.  Grade:  C+

2006–This was the year where things blew wide open.  With one change to my formula, my number of total daily sightings nearly doubled.  In recent years, there were evening bandshell concerts which sidelined me from about 8 p.m. to 10:30.  For whatever reason, the quality of the concerts diminished badly starting this year, which meant my sightings numbers went off the hook.  But even within the traditional timeframe of years prior, my past records were shattered and my old record of 109 sightings for the day was exceeded before 7 p.m.  But the sightings just kept coming into the evening hours and I ultimately scored 165 sightings, which at the time seemed insurmountable.  And beyond the quantity there was incredible quality to go along with it, with two sightings that remain in my top-15 of all-time and four additional entries in my Hall of Fame.  I thought this stroke of good fortune was a fluke at the time, but in reality it was more a combination of staying longer hours and becoming more efficient in my navigation.  The result was the first of a stretch of three sightings days at the Minnesota State Fair that were my all-time best.  Grade:  A+

2007–I was a little distracted heading into this MNSF safari on my 30th birthday.  Any red-blooded male would be the day after a smoky date with my biggest high school crush Krissy.  Nonetheless, I found my groove after a slow start and settled into a pattern almost identical to the previous year’s with blistering numbers of sightings and some top-shelf quality to boot.  By my 7 p.m. meeting time with the folks, I had scored THREE epic sightings (all still among my top-20 MNSF sightings of all-time) and was already at 124 sightings on the day.  Even though the evening hours didn’t deliver the way they had the previous year, I still bested the seemingly impassable 165 sightings I scored in 2006 by pulling in 184 in 2007.  I might give a narrow edge to 2006 as the better of the two years because it was so unprecedented up to that point to be scoring the volume of quality sightings I was that day in 2006 while 2007 was an extension of that.  Nonetheless, I raked in eight of my Hall of Fame MNSF sightings in 2007.  Not a bad way to celebrate my 30th birthday. Grade: A+

2008–Without a shadow of doubt, my best day ever of fetishing not only at the Minnesota State Fair, but of all-time.  I have described in the past the trajectory of this day as a snowball that built momentum as it rolled downhill until it became a full-on avalanche.  The first hour of the day was infuriatingly slow but things got rolling pretty well with a spattering of great sightings in the late morning and early afternoon.  Things got better and better into the late afternoon and early evening, both in terms of quality and quantity.  And by evening things were off the hook, so off the hook that the only reason I didn’t cross the 200-sighting threshold is because I was seeing so many sightings of incredible quality in those last two hours that I stuck around to inspect them in detail.  Even at 10 p.m., after 13 hours of walking, I was operating on pure adrenaline and didn’t even really notice my intense foot pain as I usually do.  I scored 192 total sightings including two epics that rank among my top-10 of all-time, along with a total of nine entries in my Hall of Fame.  It’s hard to imagine a scenario where I could have a better day of fetishing than this, but the Minnesota State Fair has delivered for me so strongly in the past that I’m not ruling anything out.  Grade:  A+

2009, Trip 1–I got a surprise second trip to the Minnesota State Fair in 2009.  It was a good thing too because my first all-day trip was disappointing.  It was a cool day to begin with, but by mid-afternoon the clouds rolled in and the wind picked up and things became downright unpleasant for a late August day.  Beyond that, there were lengthy stretches in the morning and afternoon where sightings were simply nonexistent and where my mood was at times melancholy and bored in a way that’s very rare for MNSF trips.  As the temps cooled in the late afternoon and the evening, sightings numbers did pick up.  I was able to top the previous year’s record for sightings numbers and crossed the double-century threshold for the first time with 206 sightings, but had to sit for a good portion of the last two hours because of foot pain that came with arriving on the grounds an hour earlier than usual and stopping less frequently to admire epic sightings, which were fewer than years previous.  I left with four sightings in my Hall of Fame and expected my 2009 MNSF experience to be a bit of dud, until I scored a very unexpected half-day encore visit the following week.  Grade:  B-

2009, Trip 2–It was like being Superman, flying around the Earth to reverse time and recreate a day that had passed when my parents asked if I’d be interested in going to the Minnesota State Fair again on Labor Day weekend last year, if only for a half-day (my mom had to work the next morning so staying till after 10 wasn’t an option).  It was a warm and sunny day and right off the bat I could tell that it was gonna be a much better day than the week before.  Sightings came at a regular clip throughout the day and at no point was I bored or distracted the way I was the previous week.  Several blockbusters occurred in this time frame, and the day ended with my only MNSF epic sighting of 2009.  All in all, I scored 95 sightings during the half day, including an impressive six that made their way to my Hall of Fame.  Grade:  A

2010, Trip 1—Despite being sick with a lingering head cold and getting by on less than two hours sleep the night before, I was ready to go at my first excursion to the Minnesota State Fair on a sticky 90-degree day that would be cut short at 7 p.m. since I would be attending my first evening bandshell concert in five years.  The day was generally mediocre with a spattering of worthwhile sightings in the day’s early stages, but the final hour or so of fetishing made the trip worthwhile as I scored a bounty of blockbusters, and one monster epic that ended things on a high point leading into the concert.  I was especially pleased knowing that only five days later I would be returning, this time for a full day of sightings bliss.  Grade:  B+

2010, Trip 2—My full day at the Minnesota State Fair started slowly in a number of ways.  I was still a little bit sick.  I was smarting from a would-be love interest telling me the night before she just wanted to be friends.  The morning temperatures had dipped into the 40s and female fairgoers were decked out in jackets and jeans rather than tanktops and shorts.  But the day would warm up to a comfortable mid-60s high that brought about a crowd of historic proportion to the fair that day, an all-time one-day record attendance that was almost too much in the afternoon hours.  Sightings were hard to spot in these crowds and the ones I was seeing were generally marginal.  The day was considerably below average.  But then something crazy happened when nightfall came and the final three hours of the day would churn out one blockbuster/epic sighting after another, producing one of the best sightings nights of my life.  The daytime crowds that proved too stifling would eventually produce the evening crowds that were just right in churning out the right demographics of smokers, and I was in the right place at the right time to see many of them.  I ended up salvaging an otherwise modest day of fetishing about as impressively as possible.  Grade: A-

2011, Trip 1–It isn’t often that a day at the Minnesota State Fair starts producing an endless litany of outstanding sightings before 2 p.m., but that’s exactly what I was experienced that day, particularly during the noon hour when I enjoyed one after another rock star sighting and was convinced I was on the cusp of one of my best days ever at the Minnesota State Fair.  Unfortunately, the clouds rolled in at mid-afternoon and while it stayed dry, the clouds were a perfect metaphor for the wet blanket that was thrown on the day, as sightings became a lot more irregular and a lot less memorable in the second half of the afternoon.  This dragged on into the evening, but in the final hour or so, I did go on a mini-roll and racked up a handful of quality sightings.  Any time you get even a period of a day that delivers the way the early hours this day is a gift, but the slowdown in the second half of the day did keep the day from ranking up there with my best ever days of fetishing.  Grade:  B+

2011, Trip 2–The inverse of my first visit to the Minnesota State Fair in 2011, I sat in the passenger seat in horror on the drive up to the fairgrounds with rain coming down in buckets and no assurances that it was going to clear up for the rest of the day.  After a late morning clearing when we got there, the rain came again around noon and I was starting to get very nervous.  But by mid-afternoon the clouds broke and the sightings came fast and furious.  While there were no genuine epics for the day, there was a steady stream of above-average material that lasted from about 3 p.m. through the evening hours till the time I left around 10:30, and you can’t ask for much more than that during a day of fetishing.  Grade: A-

2012, Trip 1–My first trip to the Minnesota State Fair in 2012 happened to be on my 35th birthday, but it was hard to get too thrilled as the forecast was predicting rain by early afternoon and I was actually anticipating it would be an abbreviated day, and that I would return the next day for a complete day of fetishing.  The rain did come around the noon hour, but it wasn’t as bad as expected and was actually a catalyst for a couple great sightings while taking shelter from the downpour.  The downside of the rest of the day is that while the worst of the rain ended after about an hour, I was still planning on leaving early because the fairgrounds were a sloppy mess but by mid-afternoon decided to stick around.  The uncertainty was a buzzkill on the day, and it didn’t help that the evening hours I wanted to stick around for ended up being below-average.  With all that said, I had an above-average sightings haul with an ebb and flow pattern but which peaked in the late afternoon.  It wasn’t one of my best sightings days by any stretch, but all things considered I stitched together a pretty good day of memorable encounters.  Grade:  B+

2012, Trip 2–My second day at the state fair this year was about perfectly on par with the first day in terms of substance, with a healthy haul of impressive sightings but no single sighting that burned up my world.  But I’ll rate the second day a tick higher for a couple of reasons.  First, the weather was perfect, and when you arrive at the fairgrounds on a sunny day when you know you won’t run into any weather issues, your morale is always higher and that’s very important.  Secondly, I had a better evening haul on my second trip, and good evening sightings help wrap up a great day at the fair with a ribbon.  Always nice to exit the grounds for the evening with a beaming smile on your face.  Grade:  B+

2013, Trip 1–I was understandably nervous going into the 2013 Minnesota State Fair because of the unsettling news that smoking would be restricted to “designated smoking areas”, threatening to blow up the best venue for smoker girl sightings the world has ever known.  But I was relieved to see that there would be a generous 18 designated smoking areas on the grounds rather than the three or four I suspected, and most of them were located in areas that had been frequented by smokers on smoke breaks in the past.  Couple that with a fair amount of noncompliant smokers puffing away wherever they chose and August 24, 2013, wasn’t noticeably different from sightings days past at the MNSF.  The biggest annoyance ended up being the heat and humidity.  It was a steady day for sightings with decent quality at every stage of the day, and the designated smoking areas occasionally working as nifty holding pens that helped me rather than hurt me in scoring sightings.  The evening hours really sparkled, however, with more civil disobedience of the smoking areas and a “sensory overload” spurt where I was scoring quality sightings so steadily I could barely process it.  For as dark as I let my thoughts drift in the months preceding on what this day was likely to be, it was a huge sigh of relief that for all my worries it ended up being an above-average sightings day.  Grade:  A-

2013, Day 2–My second trip to the 2013 MNSF on Labor Day weekend was far less hot and humid than the week before and seemed poised to be a fantastic day.  It got off to a much slower start than the week before, and even though the daytime hours produced my best MNSF sighting in three years, things didn’t get consistently good until after dark.  And ironically, things got really good only after the weather went to hell, with storm clouds moving in and a steady rain coming down around 8:30 and lasting a good hour.  The rain was the source of a good half dozen outstanding sightings, in large part because it delayed the concert by pop sensation Macklemore who was performing in the grandstand that night and brought my favorite demographic of fairgoers in impressive numbers.  So basically the day featured beautiful weather and a ho-hum array of sightings, while the evening featured miserable rain that emptied out half the crowd at the fairgrounds, but some of the hottest smokers in the state were the ones who stuck around.  Gotta love the Minnesota State Fair!  Grade: A-

2014, Day 1–It’s regrettably getting increasingly rare to head up for a day at the Minnesota State Fair with an all-clear weather forecast.  It makes such a difference for morale to head up there knowing you’re gonna have a nice day with no chance of rain, but no such luck on my first Saturday there this year with a decent chance of rain in the forecast, and even though it never materialized outside of a few sprinkles, it dampened my enthusiasm.  The relatively modest haul of sightings was also pretty dampening, with a particularly glum start to the day, and an overall Day 1 that was generally pretty average. There were enough extra base hits and blockbusters thrown in the mix to keep the day from becoming a bust though, and I salvaged a mediocre evening with the best sighting of the day.  I was pretty consistent numbers-wise with Day 1 from the previous year which I considered a success giving the shrinking rate of smoking in Minnesota.  Grade:  B

2014, Day 2–An improvement over Day 1 but still not a Hall of Fame day by any stretch.  Nice weather and gigantic crowds (an all-time one-day record) were both a blessing and a curse as I most likely lost some great sightings in the suffocating crowds.  On balance though, I had a steadier drumbeat of extra base hit sightings and a bit of a crescendo as the day proceeded, particularly in the evening where I really had some great finds, and one in particular who ran away with the 2014 Minnesota State Fair.  The biggest disappointment was in the overall sightings numbers, which on prior Labor Day weekends hovered just above or below the 200 threshold.  I fell far short of that with only 182 this year, a worrisome sign of potentially diminishing returns in the years ahead.  Grade:  B+

2015, Day 1–I got lucky with the weather on both days of the 2015 Minnesota State Fair but Day 1 was the more perfect of the two, and making it even more perfect was the string of sightings I scored between the mid-afternoon and the early evening, one of the best stretches of extra base hits I’ve scored in recent years.  The evening hours actually seemed like a disappointment at the time, but looking back, those evening hours weren’t bad at all either….they just didn’t live up to those outstanding afternoon hours that produced six Hall of Fame sightings.  Carrie Underwood was the grandstand act and seemed to draw the right demographic, resulting in 183 sightings over the course the day, slightly better than my first day at the MNSF in the previous two years.  Considering how rotten the smoking climate has gotten in Minnesota since the massive tax hike, that’s not a bad result.  Grade:  A

2015, Day 2–The temperature digits went up and the sightings went down on the second day of this year’s MNSF.  It was still a pretty good day with a steady drumbeat of extra base hits, and the hot 90-degree temperatures produced a lot of bare midriffs that complemented some of the day’s best sightings.  Still, with the very impressive crowd for the day, it was disappointing to find myself behind my sightings baseline at every stage of the day.  The evening in particular offered only modest rewards and I ended up with only 164 sightings, my weakest performance for a full day at the Minnesota State Fair ever since I started staying at the MNSF the entire day and evening, indicating that the point of diminishing returns for sightings even at my best venue may have arrived.  Even so, there was enough great sightings over the course of 15 hours to walk away mostly satisfied with the day.  Grade:  B

2016, Day 1–For the first time in years, I didn’t go to the Minnesota State Fair on Saturday this year because of a cool, rainy forecast, choosing to go on Sunday instead.  The move paid off as I had a much nicer day and managed the only genuinely impressive day of fairgrounds fetishing I would get in 2016, scoring 170 sightings with a particularly nice penchant for second acts, where the best girls of the day resurfaced later in the day with another cigarette and additional context to sex up the sighting.  Most of my great finds occurred in the late afternoon and early evening hours, while the hours before and after were hit or miss, but I still did well for myself on a year where I generally struggled at the fairgrounds.  Grade: A-

2016, Day 2–A very strange day with two conflicting storylines.  The very heavily populated fairgrounds on the Saturday of Labor Day weekend produced my biggest one-day sightings haul of all-time at the Minnesota State Fair, with 220 sightings.  I was well ahead of my baseline all day and the sightings kept coming at a pace that would have seemed blistering even 10 years earlier when far more attractive young females were smoking.  Unfortunately, of those 220 sightings, not very many were particularly great.  Never have I encountered so much smoking with so few unforgettable moments.  I had one electric moment in the final couple of hours but by and large the rewards were modest and it was a wet blanket on a day that should have had my adrenaline at all-time highs based on the numbers alone.  Grade:  B-

2017, Day 1–In what is becoming an undesirable pattern, my planned Saturday visit for Day 1 of the MNSF was washed out.  Imagine it being your 40th birthday and having to spend the day at your folks’ place looking out the window at heavy rain rather at the Minnesota State Fairgrounds scoring sightings of smoker girls.  Not a pretty picture.  The good news was the delayed visit worked to my favor as Sunday was an excellent day of sightings, with numerous mother-daughter pairings and other excellent sightings with multiple acts that kept firing as the day proceeded.  There was a cloudburst that killed some of my momentum at a key hour of the late afternoon but even with that the day was a major victory and took some of the edge off of turning 40. Another pattern developing is that the late afternoon and early evening at the Minnesota State Fair is shaping up to be far and away the primetime hours while the later evening hours aren’t quite the gold mines they used to be.  Grade:  A

2017, Day 2–My Labor Day weekend at the MNSF featured wonderful weather and another shockingly great day of sightings for the times we live in.  The drumbeat of extra-base hit sightings perhaps wasn’t quite as steady as the week before but it wasn’t far off and the evening hours were better, producing a few of the biggest gems of my 2017 fair season.  If I ever again have two days at the Minnesota State Fair as good as either of the two I had in 2017, I’ll consider myself a lucky man given the national trendline.  Grade:  A-


The consistency and history of the Minnesota State Fair as a sightings venue clearly rates it as my favorite place to fetish.   I feel like I dodged a major bullet when the designated smoking areas didn’t ruin that for me.  The fair board seems to be trying to remain as welcoming to smokers as possible, unlike most venues, but their hand was forced when a little girl got burned in the eye by a cigarette.  I have no illusions that the designated smoking areas will hold the antismoking crybabies at bay forever, but I think I at least bought myself an additional few years of a Minnesota State Fair that is as close to a wide-open fetishing paradise as exists in America today.

Posted in Top-100 Minnesota State Fair Sightings | 4 Comments

MNSF #1. The 1996 State Fair Girls Who Escalated My Fetish

My smoking fetish was officially born on the sunny mid-afternoon hours on August 28, 1996, only three days after my 19th birthday, and three days before I left for my freshman year of college. And given the intensity my fetish has taken on in the years since, it was one of the single most defining moments of my life as it made me finally come to terms with just how sexy I find it to be when girls smoke. It’s the “granddaddy of all sightings” that I dramatized in my 90% reality-based  “State Fair Girls” story on Smoke Signals a few years later, and I honestly don’t think it’s possible for this sighting to ever be dethroned from its berth at the top given its long-term impact…..

There I sat, with my mom, at a concert for has-been country singer  Billy Jo Royale who I didn’t even really want to see, but agreed to since my mom liked him and since we had a couple of hours to kill back in the time when I had grown pretty bored with the Minnesota State Fair.  After sitting in the bleachers awaiting the free concert to begin, up came these adorable beauties, all around 18, dressed in as sexy and classy of summer attire as any guy could ever dream of (tanktops, very upscale looking jean shorts with flashy and glamorous belts), and sat in the bench directly in front of us. The thought briefly crossed my mind, as I admired their perfect figures and beautiful faces of this assortment of three blonds and one brunette, that these girls would make some amazingly hot smokers, even though that thought generally didn’t consume my every encounter with attractive females as it does today.

In no more than 30 seconds, my wish would become a reality as these beauties, one by one, opened their purses and retrieved their respective packs of Marlboro Lights, sparking up their all-whites within less than a minute of each other and proceeding to smoke cigarette after cigarette after cigarette for the entire two hours we sat there, completely oblivious to the dismay of others sitting next to them, several of whom left in disgust as the girls snickered.  Even my mom gave me a “What in the world could those girls be thinking smoking like that?” look, but thankfully we didn’t move. I just shrugged while trying to hide the fact that my jeans were elevating before my eyes.

It’s hard to single out which girl was my favorite, and I found myself declaring a new favorite every time I studied a different girl.  One dark blond who sat on the right was attractive but not in the league of the other three, but immediately to her left was a bodacious platinum blond in a pink top, white shorts, and a glamorous belt.  To the left of her was a long-haired brunette in badass sunglasses, a blue top, and jean shorts who looked the most comfortable and natural smoking a cigarette.  And on the far left was another incredible blond in white shorts who was mind-blowingly hot.  Again, every time I laid eyes on one of these three girls, she became my new favorite.  They were all just that amazing.

The concert was as big of a blur to me as the air quality a few feet in front of me as these extraordinarily sexy 18-ish superbabes ingested unending volumes of tobacco into their perfectly proportioned young bodies. At one point, as explained in my “State Fair Girls” story, they even turned around and teased me with their smoking show, smiling at me while exhaling plumes of smoke very near me, which really drove me over the edge.  This was the first time I ever got an erection from watching chicks smoke, but it definitely wasn’t the last.  The girls just kept on smoking like lifetime professionals–as if they were getting paid to do so–and left a mountain of butts in their aftermath.  These images were burned into my mind for months (and in fact years) to come and I would never view the Minnesota State Fair the same way again.

In so many ways, this sighting set the stage for who I am today. Would I have the fetish as bad as I do today had it not been for this erotic experience? I can’t really say for sure. All I know is that from that day forward (and as I said I started college only three days after this sighting) I never missed the chance to watch a girl smoke again.

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MNSF #2. The Best Early Teen Smoker Girl of All-Time Puffing Away With Grandpa

As stated previously, I couldn’t stay very long at the fair on the dreary Friday in 2000 due to a commitment that evening and really didn’t want to stay very long given the weather, but in the final half hour of a day that had already proven quite productive, I scored the most epic young smoker sighting of my life.

To give a little background, I had been sitting at an early afternoon concert by now country music superstar Keith Urban back when he had only two hits under his belt, looking around for smokers as always, and repeatedly saw plumes of smoke going airborne from the direction of this young blond girl, sitting with what appeared to be her grandparents.  I never saw the girl with a cigarette and didn’t expect to as she was way too young and way too Barbie-doll cute.  The smoke, I told myself, had to be coming from one of her  grandparents. But that smoke just kept coming from where she was seated, beckoning my attention repeatedly from the awkward spot where I was seated. I never did see anything, but got plenty of chances to admire the cuteness of this little blond sweetheart even from my considerable distance away.

About three hours later, I was navigating the fairgrounds near the bungee jumping stations and saw a freshly lit all-white protruding from VERY young female fingers.  Instantly, I recognized these hands as belonging to the same girl I saw at the Keith Urban concert, again in the presence of the older couple who I assumed to be her grandparents.  I studied her closely, stunned as I determined there was no way she was older than 13, and may possibly have been even younger. I positioned myself a few yards away from them and watched in absolute awe as this most adorable girl casually smoked in the presence of her grandparents. Decked out in a cute red T-shirt and utilitarian white shorts, with long platinum blond hair flowing all the way down her back, the last thing one would have expected to see was a Marlboro Light approach her young lips, yet that was exactly what I was seeing.

As hot as mother-daughter smoker sightings are, I was witnessing a grandfather-granddaughter sighting (granny didn’t appear to smoke), and in the most public place in the state of Minnesota.  As she watched the bungee jumpers overhead, she jubilantly talked it over with her grandparents the way you would expect a 13-year-old girl would do, with the cigarette becoming animated in her hand amidst her excited responses at the brave bungee jumpers.  And she was no amateur.  Her inhales were deep and her exhales were tight plumes of straight-ahead smoke that sailed many inches in front of her face.  I could feel the blood rush to my crotch watching this, having to sit down to avoid the bulge in my jeans from showing. When she took her final drag, she crushed the cigarette out under her shoe, and for whatever reason it was at that moment it hit me how special what I had just seen really was.

Many of us with the smoking fetish can trace the origins of our fetish back to when we were little boys. The best way I can sell the magnitude of this sighting’s epicness is to call upon readers to recall your jubilation in those late elementary years when you discovered or heard rumors that one or two of your sixth-grade female classmates had started smoking….and then imagine the cutest blonde princess in your grade being the smoker, and smoking publicly in the company of her family!  It was like a perfect middle school fantasy come to life for a smoking fetisher and I experienced it, albeit 10 years later.

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MNSF #3. Brunette Babe With An Insatiable Cigar Addiction

I had just taken my early evening rest at the 2008 Minnesota State Fair, my greatest day of MNSF fetishing of all time, and after about 20 minutes of resting my aching body, decided it was time to begin my nightcap….with some of the best timing in world history. Only a couple minutes later while walking through the grounds, I spotted a cluster of four early 20’s hotties on the edge of the sidewalk after about a block of walking. An attractive long-haired dark blond extracted a cigarette from her purse and fired up, leading me to walk their direction for some further observation. As soon as I was standing in close proximity, I noticed an equally attractive long-haired brunette muttering something indecipherable to the blonde as she looked at the freshly lit cigarette, and then started fishing into her own purse as if to get one of her own. I knew the next sighting was at my doorstep, but imagine my delight when the item removed from her purse was not a cigarette, but a small tipped cigar.

It wasn’t the size of your typical Black and Mild. It was much shorter, only the length of a cigarette, but considerably bigger around. The contrast was striking as the brunette fired up her cigar. She was very feminine with her flowing mane of dark brown hair running all the way down her back, wearing a modest pink T-shirt for a top and skin-tight painted-on light blue jeans to advertise her unbelievable ass.

There were four girls in the cluster, each above-average on the attractiveness scale but somewhat hard to discern age-wise. I would guess they were 22, with somewhat of a weathered party girl look on their faces that could indicate they may have been as old as 25, but definitely no older than that. At the time, it was just the two smokers, but all my attention was on the cigar girl as my subfetish for novelty cigar sightings is even more intense than my cigarette fetish.

Watching her smoke the cigar completely lived up to expectations, as she would tilt her head into the sky after taking a drag, giving me a perfect vantage point as the ball of thick smoke disappeared down into her throat, followed by cloudy and dirty exhalations only a few seconds later. There was no ideal location to watch this incredible hotness unfold, and I found myself awkwardly watching from the side, attempting to act like I was waiting to meet someone yet still be close enough to breathe in some secondhand cigar fumes. Things would not get easier as the girls had a strange habit of stopping at a certain destination,  staying a few minutes, then meandering a half block or so and then stalling out again, meaning my presence would not escape notice. Nonetheless, when the cluster first took off, I delightfully followed right behind cigar girl, and was lucky enough to get splashed in the face with a couple lungfuls of filthy cigar smoke that lingered in the air several seconds after she released them from her black lungs.  The girls, only two of whom were smoking, stopped dead in their tracks again closer to the grandstand area, making my job extra difficult. But the best part of the sighting was soon to come…..

The girls were standing right in front of an anti-meth booth, complete with a display of photos of meth users. The two smokers approached the booth and dragged from their tobacco cylinders of choice, seconds before a teenage girl working the booth approached them with some literature. I noticed that the girl’s eyes lowered as she spoke to the young ladies, clearly taking note of the cigarette in the blond’s hand and the smelly cigar in the brunette’s hand. It’s rare that I see something so hot at the fair that my boy parts get uncontainably excited, but as I watched that brunette exhaling a cloud of cigar smoke right in front of the anti-meth booth, my “excitement” could be contained no longer. Soon after, the bizarre stop-and-go routine continued until they stopped at a corner near the DNR building. By this point, I really had to linger at a distance to avoid being spotted. A couple of the girls seemed to look my direction now and then, but never made direct eye contact, so I’m not certain whether I was spotted or not. I had spent a good 15 minutes observing this crew before the brunette finally finished her cigar, tossing it onto the curb with nothing but the plastic tip remaining.  I had seen all I needed to see, but just in case you think this sighting is completed, I should warn you I wasn’t through with these girls yet. Or is it that they weren’t through with me?!?!?!.

About an hour later near the grandstand, now after dark, I found myself staring down the barrel of a repeat sighting that I had never even imagined would resurface. It was the cluster of party girls from an hour earlier….including an encore performance from cigar girl!!! Amazingly enough, she was in the middle of another cigar. Two of her three female friends were smoking cigarettes, including the cute redhead who wasn’t smoking before and the sexy blonde who was. It was a perfect opportunity to briefly follow them again and ingest some more stinky secondhand cigar smoke, but I didn’t want to risk being spotted given how much time I had already spent watching these girls.   Still, the location was better for spying this time as I sat on a bench near the grandstand about 20 yards away and watched the show. Again I was struck by the contrast between this brunette cutie’s pink shirt, tight blue jeans, and stinky plastic-tipped cigar, which she continued to inhale every puff from. I couldn’t imagine anything sexier, and was overjoyed as the cluster walked away and the brunette deposited her second plastic-tipped cigar butt on the fairgrounds pavement, and I was intrigued watching the large cherry splatter dramatically as it hit the street.

Another hour after that, it was almost 9:30 and I was continually amazed at what I was stumbling into, and nothing more amazing that what I would see next. Walking past the haunted mansion on the busiest street on the grounds, there they were AGAIN! The party girls including the pink-shirted brunette stogie girl. None appeared to be smoking this time so I kept walking around the perimeter of the nearby horticulture building. Ten minutes or so had passed before I made another pass by the haunted mansion to see if my favorite girls of the day were still there. And boy were they. I could see freshly lit cigarettes in the hands of the blond and redhead and seconds after making that observation, what did I see but my brunette sweetheart firing up her THIRD cigar in the last two hours. I made one final pass closely behind her and timed it perfectly to ingest one more exhalation of cigar smoke.

There were so many high points to that 2008 MNSF sightings day, but this was tops, and it was also my greatest cigar sighting of all-time. I’d give my first-born child to see something even remotely like it again.

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MNSF #4. Teen Smoking Krista Clone Corrupts Unattractive Friend And Smokes While She Eats

My 2006 visit to the Minnesota State Fair reached an uncharted level of hotness compared to prior years, both in terms of quality and quantity. I had hit the “sightings century mark” at an astounding 6:30 p.m., at least three hours ahead of schedule from previous years, but the cute 20-something blonde that represented my 100th sighting near the food building commons area was a memory in the mere seconds it took to raise my head and find Sighting #101, a beautiful 16-ish chickie with a mane of long and curly light brown hair running all the way down her back, and an unlit cigarette dangling from her lips.

Immediately sensing something special about this girl, I began to follow her and a redheaded friend who was considerably less attractive. The brunette wore a lovely bare-midriff blouse that exposed her well-toned belly to the tens of thousands of lucky male fairgoers, as well as a tight pair of denim Capris that fashionably showed off her glowing teenage booty and lovely lower legs.

It took about 30 seconds for her to fish her lighter out of her purse, but when she did, she sparked up that cigarette. She took a couple of drags before handing the cigarette to her friend and then wasted no time firing up another cigarette of her own. I got particular guilty pleasure about the fact that this adorable teen beauty was the bad influence on her less attractive friend. From there, the girls decided they wanted something to eat, and stood in line at this stand that appeared to sell little cups of frozen custard or something of the like.

Luckily, the stand was two-sided, so I was able to go to the other side and see through the glass, finally getting a good look at her. She was more beautiful than I previously suspected. Not only because of her astounding mane of light brown hair, but also her flawlessly beautiful face, she reminded me of Krista, the daughter of a woman my mom works with who is now college age. Krista is a nonsmoker, and homecoming queen hot…and this nicotine girl at the Minnesota State Fair possessed facial features cut from identical cloth. It was like a fantasy come to life as I recalled all the times I thought about how hot Krista would look as a smoker.

It only got better as the girl stood up to place her order, unapologetically holding her cigarette above the counter and proudly displaying her youthful nicotine addiction to the world. After receiving their orders, the girls carried their desserts and their cigarettes to the sidewalk, where they quietly sat and consumed a toxic brew of transfat from the custard and deadly carcinogens from their cigarettes. And consume they did!  I sat on the sidewalk across the street and got to see a surprising amount considering the foot traffic between us. The pretty girl went back and forth from eating a spoonful of her frozen dessert to taking a drag from her cigarette, dragging furiously and frequently, sucking the tobacco out of that cigarette faster than I would have expected and producing a cesspool of air pollution surrounding her beautiful face.  She would soon crush the cigarette out in front of her on the sidewalk at the exact moment that her friend did.

No more than 60 seconds had passed before the pretty girl turned around and started fishing through her purse. Could this 15-16 year-old stunner possibly be so addicted to cigarettes that she needed an exciting encore less than a minute after polishing off her last? DING! DING! DING! Every part of my fatigued anatomy stopped for a second as the pack of Camels in her purse was extracted for the third time in less than 10 minutes, and the girl lit herself up again. It was very clear that her frozen custard had quickly become an afterthought, taking a backseat to her obviously insatiable nicotine dependency. She only got a few drags off of the second cigarette before the two of them got up to leave. I couldn’t help but following a little further, even though I’m pretty sure they spotted me by this point and soon realized that I needed to abort or risk being called out for stalking her. As I studied this beauty’s amazing face one last time before parting ways, I would’ve given anything to turn back the clock and be 16 again if only for that evening.

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MNSF #5. Lindsey Tortures Her Teen Friend With Cigarette

In the evening hours that wrapped up my second evening at the 2010 Minnesota State Fair, I scored more than a half dozen blockbuster sightings, several of which are on this list, and the quality of the blockbusters just kept escalating.  I was already on an adrenaline burst before I even stumbled into the most epic sighting of the year and one of my all-time MNSF classics.  Without further adieu, I present you….the legendary Lindsey.

I had spent so long in the same parts of the fairgrounds tracking sightings that I was now long overdue for another journey to the east side of the grounds.  In this case, I found myself at the far eastern gate where I was at the early stages of what would be my best sighting of the day.  This is another one where I need to warn you….hold onto your hat….because you’re going on the ride of your life….

By now, KISS was performing and could be heard virtually any place within a half mile of the grandstand, but I just happened to be in a sparsely populated area near the east gate outside the range of the KISS concert, and was thus able to hear voices in close range, which saved me from missing out on the upcoming sighting.  I was busting pretty good through this east side since there weren’t many people there, but took a quick mental note of a trio of cute 17ish girls who had apparently just entered the fairgrounds at the 9:00 hour.  I took a quick look at them, didn’t think they looked like obvious smokers, and decided I should press forward.  Thankfully they weren’t out of hearing range as I heard one of the girls behind me saying “Lindsey, now we ARE gonna stop sometime because I really need a cigarette!”  I quickly jerked back my head to see an adorable brunette looking at the curly-haired blonde who she just made the request to.  The blonde didn’t bat an eyelash or say a word, giving her the silent treatment, which provoked the brunette to continue pleading.  “Now c’mon Lindsey.  I’m ALWAYS giving you cigarettes!”  Holy shit!  Needless to say, I followed.  I already counted these two as sightings just from that banter, but I wouldn’t be satisfied until I actually saw them smoking.

As I followed I got to make a number of observations.  Remember I said that there were three friends.  The third wheel was a modest brunette who did little to capture my interest.  The other two had me absolutely fascinated.  The brunette doing all the begging was the best looking of the three, with a beautiful wholesome face, long brown hair, a slender body, but a less than sexy red sweatshirt and utilitarian jeans below the neck.  But it was Lindsey the blond who fascinated me most.  She was also pretty, and had those alluring curly blond locks as well as a white and gold top.  But below the waistline was where she really sparkled, literally. Lindsey was wearing a short pair of medium-blue jean shorts that was made glam outlined in gold glittery trim.  Watching that ass wiggle in those shorts I would have killed to have gotten my hands on it.  The girls were pressing forward quickly, with Lindsey sipping a drink she must have purchased just after entering the gate.  The begging brunette seemed to be doing most of the talking, but unfortunately as we moved closer to the grandstand their conversation was becoming inaudible due to the noise from the KISS concert, but judging from the body language it looked as though the brunette was continuing to plead with Lindsey to stop for a cigarette.

It was shortly after this point that I would come across my most difficult decision in the history of Minnesota State Fair fetishing.  As I followed Lindsey and her girls, I crossed paths with a duo that took my breath away.  I looked to my left to see an amazing blonde 21ish beauty in a red top and white shorts holding a white cylinder with a glowing red cherry on the end.  Standing next to her was a long-haired brunette in jean shorts, also smoking.  They were the most beautiful girls I had seen all day.  We’re talking perfect 10s here.  These girls belong in Hollywood.  They were standing in a cluster of three guys, one of whom was smoking a giant cigar.  If only the girls were smoking cigars, Lindsey and her crew would have been a distant memory.  Now…what to do?  These girls were so gorgeous it was crazy….yet the storyline behind the Lindsey sighting was so epic that I wanted to see that play out too.  But was it gonna?  Just because the brunette wanted to “stop for a cigarette” didn’t mean they were going to anytime soon.  And meanwhile, I had these two epic beauties right in front of me who were smoking in the present tense.  Watching Lindsey and her friends walk forward into the crowd, I decided I was gonna try to have it both ways…and figured there was a decent chance I would since the 21ish babes were wrapping up their cigarettes.  I stuck around and observed their last two succulent drags.  Almost in tandem, the girls dropped their cork filters to the ground.  I took one last look at these beauties, especially that blonde in the white shorts.  How is it even possible for girls this hot to exist, I thought to myself.  I relished in this observation for a moment but then had to see if, just maybe, I could catch up to Lindsey.

I raced through the area behind the grandstand in the direction they were headed.  The crowd had thinned down some now so it was not completely out of the question for me to find them, but it still seemed like a longshot.  I was starting to lose hope as I continued my fast pace by the west end of the grandstand….until I laid eyes on that shiny beacon that was Lindsey’s jean-shorted gold-trimmed ass.  I was back in business, baby!  I continued following until they came to a stop at the edge of the midway near the radio station.  It seemed to be a hangout for a lot of teens and young adults not quite old enough to party at the nearby beer gardens.  The three girls quickly struck up conversation with what I assumed were friends they planned to meet there, although I suppose it’s possible they just decided to yuck it up with other kids their age that happened to be hanging there.  I was starting to get nervous as I stood on the curb across the street thinking that this might not play out, but the begging brunette just wasn’t gonna let that happen.  There was a flurry of people that made it easy to lose people in the crowd, but I had an opening to watch the brunette, reading her lips as she said to Lindsey, “PLEEASE!  I need a cigarette!”  She then held up one finger and said “Just one!”  I have to admire Lindsey for being such a torturer, making her best friend beg her for a single cigarette.  You gotta figure Lindsey’s current or future boyfriends are gonna have to work just as hard or harder to get a blowjob out of her.

And then, at least 10 minutes after this sighting began, Lindsey dug into her purse and extracted a bronze pack of Marlboro 27s.  The would-be epic sighting of the night was finally gonna become an official sighting.  Lindsey handed the brunette a cigarette and then placed one in her own mouth.  The brunette looked adorable dangling that unlit cigarette for a good minute as Lindsey got out her lighter, lit herself up first, and then sparked up her nicotine-deprived friend.  As suspected, the third girl didn’t smoke.  Now it was time to watch the show…and the girls didn’t disappoint.

Actually, the brunette may have disappointed a little, at least compared to Lindsey who was a total pro, taking frequent and lengthy drags and spewing generous snoots full of smoke in her exhales.  Sometimes she was thoughtful and turned to exhale.  Other times, she exhaled straight ahead and at least twice she caught the nonsmoking girl in the face.  Other friends were in and out of the conversation, but Lindsey and the brunette were the only smokers.  The brunette wasn’t a bad smoker, but her exhales were less dense and her drags less frequent than Lindsey’s, although I must confess that from that angle I was watching I couldn’t see nearly as much of the brunette.  Lindsey, on the other hand, hacked up a lugie about halfway through her cigarette and instead of the girlish flick of spittle most little girls spit, hers had volume and distance.  It wasn’t a big lugie, but she sent it flying an impressive distance.  And after that, things got even weirder.  She had a strange habit of extending her arm, bending her wrist, and ashing the cigarette, but one time while doing this, she accidentally tapped the cigarette right out of her hand.  At first, I thought she was just finishing up the cigarette, but it was a genuine accident and she quickly picked up the cigarette off the dirty pavement and stuck it back in her mouth.  She wasn’t quite done with this cigarette yet!

The girls became mobile which had its upsides and downsides.  It was hard to lose Lindsey with that ass of hers gleaming, but the crowd was such that it was still a real possibility.  And she kept puffing on that cigarette long after I expected it was at its end.  The brunette had apparently already lost hers, which was curious since she smoked much slower than Lindsey.  But as Lindsey dropped her butt, I found out why.  Lindsey had smoked it right down to the filter.  There was a speck of paper left, but every morsel of tobacco had been smoked out of it into Lindsey’s black lungs.  I took one final look at that adorable ass of hers swaggering its way onto the horizon, aware that I had almost assuredly scored my best sighting of the day.

My mood at this point was all-out euphoria, something I haven’t felt since fireworks at Summerfest 2009 where the smokers were absolutely everywhere.  I literally started running as soon as I reached a point on the grounds that was empty, so much so that some drunk from the beer gardens jokingly shouted out, “No running!”  If you would have told me at 7:00 that my sore feet would have been capable of sprinting across the fairgrounds, I would have told you that you were crazy.

The blockbuster-within-an-epic sighting in which I took an incredible risk paid off completely and I was able to identify three out of the four butts and got to watch all four girls smoke.  It’s a damn tall order for any sighting in 2011 to top this one.

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MNSF #6. The Original Minnesota State Fair Cigarette Molester

There were no shortage of unforgettable moments at the 2008 Minnesota State Fair, but this monster epic from the late afternoon was one of the high points, not only of this year but of my entire Minnesota State Fair experience.  It was also somewhat groundbreaking in that it was the first sighting where I really took note of the smoking technique of a particularly addicted girl and have found myself studying the techniques of smoker girls more thoroughly as a consequence of the show this girl put on….

It was around 5 p.m. as I approached the grandstand area, encircling the east side of the seating area and quickly scoring two impressive sightings.  But after completing the loop, I was faced with two sightings prospects occurring simultaneously, and am pretty sure I made the right choice…..spotting this angellic-looking 19-20ish dark brunette with long and curly hair exiting the grandstand and producing a pack of Marlboro Mediums. I noticed a badge clipped onto her black slacks and recognized she was a grandstand worker, most likely one of the vendors for the commercial exhibits underneath the grandstand. I hadn’t had a blockbuster grandstand worker sighting since that epic supersmoking cutie in 2000 who was #12 on my list, but I definitely sensed correctly that I was about to have another one now.

She was dialing numbers on her cell phone as she leaned up against a tree right in front of the seating area. She was incredibly beautiful, but did not have a particularly flashy or glamorous look.  Her red blouse and dress slacks made her look a little more professional, but her girl-next-door face gave her a distinctive and heartwarming allure. In itself, that made her a great sighting. But it was her technique that elevated her to another level. Amidst her distracting cell phone call, she dragged intermittently from her cigarette as though it was an afterthought, but the robust drags were nonetheless intense and extreme with an unquestionable aura of pleasure evident on her face. But it was what happened after the drags that intrigued most.

Literally, 7-10 seconds passed where the smoke lingered inside her coal black lungs before the smoke came pouring out of her mouth and nose. Even more amazing was that the smoke kept coming after the initial exhale. After every exhale, residual smoke continued to escape all three of her facial orifices with every breath. Smoke was literally oozing out of this girl like incense from a metal container waved around the church by a Catholic priest during Lent. And it was the same routine with every drag. Deep and intense drags, a period of extended holding where you could almost take a nap and still wake up before the first sign of smoke escaped the inside of her body, and then more smoke spilling out of her gorgeous face for as long as 30 seconds after the original exhale. This struck me as the smoking style of a 20-year veteran smoker coming from a girl who was most likely only 20 years old.

Unfortunately, the performance ended entirely too quickly. She would end the phone chat and quickly retire the two-thirds smoked cigarette, stubbing it out and placing the remainder in her Marlboro Mediums pack to finish off later. Nonetheless, what a huge sighting.  For months afterwards, I would lay head to sleep and see smoke pouring of this girl’s face with every breath. In the years since I’ve witnessed a lot of vaguely similar smoking performances, but none quite as overpowering as this one, particularly since she made it seem so effortless.  When I see a girl this ferociously addicted to cigarettes that she practically molests the cigarette in her mouth and molests the smoke inside her lungs, I reeeeallly wanna have sex with her….and I desperately wanted to have sex with this one.

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MNSF #7. Flirting And Smoking With the DJ On Live Radio

Here’s another epic sighting from the early evening of the 2001 Minnesota State Fair, only about 15 minutes after I scored my #18 sighting from this list.  I was walking past this radio station broadcasting live and interacting with people on the sidewalk hovering in front of their booth. This radio station booth has produced a number of great sightings in the years since, but nothing even in the same ballpark as this one….

The deejay on the stage broadcasting live was talking to two extremely attractive 16-17 girls with long dark brown hair who were both smoking cigarettes like seasoned pros. These girls were kind of in the “in-between” territory as whether they looked like smokers or not. I wasn’t necessarily surprised to see them smoking, but I was surprised that they were copiously dragging from their cigarettes while talking to an adult male deejay ON LIVE RADIO….with a cluster of people behind them listening to their banter with the deejay!

And like I said, these girls were no amateurs. Their inhales were deep and intense. Their exhales were thick, extremely cloudy, and came in tight synchronized streams. I watched in awe for several minutes, not necessarily hearing what they were talking about with the deejay but being too mesmerized by their smoking show to care.

After the girls finished their cigarettes, I decided to take off, naturally expecting the show was over, but still making a mental note that this best sighting of the day just might not be finished yet. I walked a quick loop around the block and returned to the radio station booth no more than 10 minutes later….and girls (maybe sisters, maybe just friends, I’m not sure…but they looked quite a bit alike) were still there….smoking ANOTHER round of cigarettes with the same amount of gusto they put into their first round of cigs, and still flirting with the deejay on the air.

I kind of wish I could have heard the discussion to catch if the deejay was flirtatiously scolding the clearly underage cuties for their heavy smoking. You gotta wonder if that deejay had the fetish himself. Why else would he indulge these smoker girls into such a long discussion as they spewed their carcinogens in his direct path? And I also wondered what some of the people in the crowd were thinking watching this illegal display of tobacco consumption by beautiful underage dark brunettes with zero inhibition.  I would soon meet up with my parents en route to an evening concert, but my evening had more than been made after this epic.

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MNSF #8. Only 14 And Blowing Smoke at the Cops

Another epic from the 2007 Minnesota State Fair, and in this case the most memorable 30th birthday gift the fair would provide me that day.  I was journeying towards the midway in the late afternoon hours of that fine day where I would be on the receiving end of my most epic sighting of the day. Throughout the day, I would always see clusters of impossibly cute early teenage girls on the fairgrounds, the kinds of hotties that every junior high boy lusted for back in the day, and every time I crossed such a cluster, I wished that at some point in the day, the opportunity would arise to see just one of them with a cigarette in hand in the year 2007. Well, my time was now…..

A group of four dollish 13 or 14-year-old girls were working their way from the midway to the Heritage Square area of the fairgrounds. Sometimes when there is only one girl, it’s hard to discern if she is really as young as she originally looks, but there were four girls in this bunch, and they were very clearly in that 8th grade age range. One of them, an adorable blond in a red and white striped tanktop and white shorts, had herself a cigarette extending from her fingers as she walked by. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, and proceeded to follow the group of girls en route to Heritage Square.

But the sighting was about to take on an entirely new dimension as the group would wander directly past a parked squad car with two police officers sitting inside. I took notice of the cop spotting the young girl smoking the cigarette, and so did one of the other three girls in the group (a light brunette cutie in a denim miniskirt), who nudged her friend in the shoulder and muttered something to her that was inaudible from my distance, but that I figured was a warning that the cop spotted her smoking. With God as my witness, this blond babe….who didn’t look ANYTHING like a rebel….turned herself completely around a released one of the cloudiest exhales I’ve seen in recent memory directly pointed to the squad car she had just walked by!!!!! The gesture was a thousand times more fierce than a middle finger would have been….and it was coming from this 14-ish girl that looked like she should be a “B squad” cheerleader.  I had all I could do to restrain myself from bursting out into cartwheels.

The group of girls would press forward, and the blond smoker handed off the cigarette to the miniskirted light brunette (every bit as cute as the blond) who warned blondie about the cop watching. The brunette took a few puffs of her own. By this point, I was standing directly behind them and ingesting the headwind of every exhale their young lips spewed, all the while admiring their adorable early teen butts in the respective shorts and denim skirt. As the girls ascended the steps into Heritage Square, the blond (who got the cigarette back after her friend took a couple of drags) dropped it right on the steps. It was a Marlboro Red! These junior high princesses were smoking full-tar Marlboro Reds! Any wonder why this masterpiece is an entry in my all-time top ten??!?!?!?!?  I wouldn’t get another sighting that great for the rest of the day, but it was the sighting that really set the pace for the wildly productive ensuing late afternoon hours.

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MNSF #9. Storing Up on Nicotine Before The Hinder Concert

My first day at the 2010 Minnesota State Fair was fairly unsubstantial for most of the day, but around 6 p.m. in my final hour of sightings before meeting up with the family I scored a monster blockbuster that changed the trajectory of the day and ushered in a very impressive final hour, with nothing even coming close to measuring up to the quality of this dramatic gem that took place in the seating area to the east of the grandstand. ….

Sitting next to a boyfriend was a super-cute 22ish dark blond wearing a white tanktop and a perfect-fitting denim miniskirt that looked adorable on her.  Right away as I approached, I saw a cigarette in the hand of both the guy and girl.  I made a second pass to get a better look at the girl.  She wasn’t a knockout beauty, but very cute and wholesome-looking, a solid 8.5 on a scale of 1-10 who added to her allure significantly with that hot little skirt.  There was no place to sit next to the girl, so I had to sit next to the guy and as a result flew pretty close to the sun having to peer over him to get an occasional look at his girlfriend.  It was worth whatever risk though as I saw that first drag as cutie took a good four-second inhale before I watched the thick ball of creamy smoke disappear into her throat for a few moments, resurfacing again in about three seconds with one of the strangest exhales I’ve ever seen.  The smoke spewed out of her mouth first and the jet of smoke fired skyward while the spillover from her nose came later and fired downward. Usually these “jet stream” exhales tend to combine coming out of the mouth and nose to form one stream of smoke, but with this girl, a skybound stream of smoke lasted a couple of seconds before the second act emerged, a nasal stream of smoke plunging downward.  I would see a couple more drags from her, but none that upclose, so I’m not sure if I just caught her in a special drag or if this is the way she regularly smoke.  Either way, you can’t imagine how much I wanted to leap over this boyfriend, hike up this girl’s cute little skirt, and fuck her brains out right there on the cement slab.

Whatever the case, that was only the second hottest part of the sighting.  The boyfriend finished his cigarette first but within about 30 seconds, girly wrapped up hers as well, stubbing it out and dropping it to the pavement below her feet.  I expected they would soon get up to leave, but my adorable and feminine blonde friend had different ideas as she proceeded to extract her pack of Marlboro Lights from her purse only about 20 seconds later and was determined to keep the stink alive.  She fired up another one, and as I said, I didn’t get a very good view of her drags, but I was amazed at how quickly she made the cigarette disappear, apparently taking pretty deep drags into those black lungs of hers.  The boyfriend did not initially light up another cigarette and was a fairly quiet guy.  The girl wasn’t a motor mouth by any stretch, but she still did 90% of the talking as she pulled out her tickets from her purse and commented on how they bought the tickets in June, yadda, yadda, yadda.  But then the conversation got epic…

The girl told the guy he better have another cigarette because it would be a long time in the concert before they’d get their next chance.  The guy acted like it didn’t matter to him one way or another, but did heed her advice and fired up a second cigarette.  The girl was approaching the end of her second cigarette and continued speculating on the length of the concert.  And that’s when it happened.  The girl looked at her fast-diminishing cigarette and said to the boyfriend “I’m thinking of having another one!”  Are you kidding me, I thought to myself.  Three cigarettes in a row back-to-back!  How much nicotine does one girl need??!?!  Unfortunately, the boyfriend shook his head no, indicating he didn’t want to sit through yet another of his foul-smelling girlfriend’s cigarettes.  What’s the matter with you, man!  ANY TIME a hot girl tells you she wants another cigarette, the answer should be an emphatic “YES!!!”.  This time, the girl took a final drag from her cigarette and dropped it to the pavement still smoldering….

In just a few short moments, the two of them got up en route to the grandstand show.  This finally gave me the opportunity to see what she looked like up-close.  Suffice it to say she lived up to expectations completely, with a petite little body about 5’3”, very nice boobs poking out of that white tanktop, and a lower body framed beautifully in that little denim skirt of hers.  Naturally, I thought her walking off would finally be the sunset to this incredible sighting, but she just wouldn’t go quietly.

The boyfriend was still smoking his second cigarette, but the girl blew me away when she held out her hand and grabbed hold of the boyfriend’s cigarette.  He may have denied her the third cigarette she wanted, but he was gonna pay for that by sacrificing some of his own.  I watched as she finished off his cigarette, not even giving him the option of having a final drag himself.  Where do I find these girls?!?!  She was the nicotine girl equivalent of a camel storing up on fat before making an epic journey across the Sahara Desert. Suddenly, the mediocrity of the hours leading up to this point had become a distant memory.

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MNSF #10. Mother And Early Teen Daughter Sighting Is Throwback To A Better Era

While the daytime hours during my second day at the 2013 Minnesota State Fair produced a pretty good clip of sightings, there weren’t many that really blew my mind….with one incredible exception in the mid-afternoon.  The moment that still seems surreal to me months later.  It’s when I saw Sighting #40 of the day, the kind of sighting I thought existed only in the past….the kind of sighting I never expected to see again….

Wandering on the block on the north side of the beer gardens block and looking up toward one of the more remote smoking areas, I would be stopped dead in my tracks one bench before I got there.  A family of three occupied a bench.  Dad wasn’t smoking, but mother and daughter were.  I was taken aback on first glance and kept approaching, and with each footstep it became clear that this daughter was young….and I mean very young.  She had a sweet face, filled with bubbly youthful energy and long straight blond hair flowing past her shoulders.  Maybe in 1990 it wouldn’t have blown my mind to see a girl of this pedigree with a cigarette, even smoking in front of her parents….but in 2013 it was downright unthinkable.  I snapped an early photo that was pretty mediocre as it was from a little too far away, right before she took her first drag.  The drag itself was not one of an amateur.  There were no stylistic flourishes per se but this was not this little girl’s first cigarette.  She and the parents watched the extreme ride in front of them as mother and daughter smoked and all appeared amused as they observed.  It was amidst this backdrop that a third party entered the scene and changed the trajectory of the sighting…..

A father approached the bench with two young kids to take a seat, asking them if they minded sharing the bench.  The family was all smiles, particularly the bubbly young blond smoker who, for whatever reason, was absolutely beaming.  At first I thought they knew each other because the dynamic didn’t otherwise make sense, as this clearly WAY underage smoker girl would never be so casual and uninhibited while smoking in the presence of complete strangers.  But as this father got his first good look at the family he was now sharing a bench with, it became quickly obvious that they didn’t know each other.  He took a second look, and then a third look, clearly blown away as I was at this at the sight of this young girl publicly smoking with parental acceptance.

The smoking part of this sighting had one more dynamite moment for me.  My girl took her fourth (and sadly final) drag that I witnessed of the mostly smoked cigarette, and then tilted her head upward.  Keep in mind that this bench was very tightly packed now with so many people on it, so her exhale was bound to invade somebody’s airspace…and in this case it was that of her overweight, working-class nonsmoking father.  A gorgeous mushroom cloud of smoke erupted from this girl’s still-developing respiratory system and while there wasn’t a direct blast into dad’s face, his nostrils were no more than an inch away from his early teen daughter’s air pollution.  I had all I could do to keep my knees from buckling at that moment.  Unfortunately, the smoking part of the sighting was gonna come to a close at least a drag sooner than it should have…..

I couldn’t hear exactly what the young father with the two kids who sat next to this family said to them, but he was pointing to the bathroom area near the beer gardens and I suspect he said “you know, the smoking area is over there”.  Just that quickly, the smiles and good times of mother and daughter smokers vanished….and the daughter crushed her cigarette out onto the bench and dropped the butt to the ground.  Not a word was said otherwise, and apparently the father who made the comment didn’t know they were one bench away from another smoking area.

But even though the smoking portion of the sighting was done as the daughter was concerned, there were still all kinds of additional revelations yet to come.  The daughter stood up from the crowded bench and continued to look at the extreme ride spinning around in front of her.  For the umptieth time in this sighting, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.  Up to that point, I was being very conservative in guessing that this girl was 15, but seeing her presexualized body in a vertical position, it became clear she was at most 14 and probably even younger than that.  She had no hips at all and just a couple nubs for boobs in her green tanktop.  Her ass had the beginnings of a curvature in a skimpy pair of brown and white jean shorts. I snapped a full frontal photo and studied it again today, and am convinced that this little cutie is only about to start seventh grade!

The father with the kids got up and left, perhaps annoyed that the mother was still smoking.  The final part of the sighting smoking-wise included the mom stubbing out her cigarette and handing it to the daughter to throw into the trash, which she did, adorably leaving her own cigarette sitting on the ground even as she was tossing mom’s.  I was gonna ID this butt if it was the last thing I ever did so I had to wait out the family continuing to sit there.  While waiting, I looked to the right to the aforementioned smoking area only one bench over from this family, and standing there was ANOTHER mother and daughter smoker duo, where the daughter was a beautiful early 20s light brunette in a very feminine light blue dress.  I caught her in mid-drag at one point looking my direction.  At any other time of the day this girl would have been a huge fetish target, but right now this incredible family had me completely captivated.

I made the connection right away as this sighting was unfolding, but sitting here watching them observe the extreme ride, it struck me just how similar this was to MNSF #2, the most popular sighting on my blog and my second-best sighting of all-time.  Now this girl was an absolute doll, but she lacked that “hottest girl in the middle school” IT factor that my 13ish blond from 2000 smoking with grandpa did.  Still, the fundamentals were the same….an unashamed public display of cigarette smoking from a bubbly, long-haired blond early teen who was giddy watching the extreme rides from a half block away in the company of her accepting elders.  I never thought I’d see any sighting of its kind again after 2000, but I should have learned to never underestimate the Minnesota State Fair.

After another couple of minutes, the family got up to leave, never to be seen again yesterday.  Breathless with excitement, I sat down and checked out the girl’s discarded cigarette butt.  A sighting that was a flashback to 2000 up to that point suddenly became a flashback to 1978.  The cigarette she was smoking was a Merit!  I have NEVER seen a Merit smoked by a girl I’ve fetished and can’t recall anybody smoking the brand since some point in the 80s.  Who was this family?!?!?  Whoever they were, they single-handedly made my second visit to the 2013 Minnesota State Fair unforgettable.

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MNSF #11. Towering, Heavy-Smoking Blond In Daisy Dukes Emasculates Male Companions

It was mid-afternoon on Day 1 at the 2017 Minnesota State Fair and I was on the southwest side of the beer gardens block having a sensory overload moment, nailing one great sighting after another after another, as in walking away from one great sighting on two occasions in a couple of minutes because something else delicious popped up only a few feet away. And I’m really grateful I walked away from each of them as doing so led me to my best sighting of 2017….

I saw this jean-shorted ass from behind and a cigarette next to it that looked spectacular and I just had to check it out. I approached the girl hoping she lived up to the expectation that her first-rate rear view had given me….and if anything she exceeded those expectations with the kind of gorgeous face you’re lucky to see a couple of times a day on a smoker girl, tanned with glowingly wholesome features radiating IT factor. I would guess she’s about 22 or 23, with dark blond hair flowing onto a white country girl blouse and pale blue daisy dukes with long smooth legs flowing out of them, standing with three guy friends with a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. And while it was clear the second I laid eyes on her from behind that she was vertically endowed, it was only after seeing her in the context of these guy friends she was standing next to that I realized just what a tall drink of water this chick was, towering a good three inches above the heads of any of the males in her group. Now I might be a little too insecure with my manhood to date a girl well over six feet tall (oh who am I kidding…I’d date this piece of ass in a second if given the chance!), but I still find them sexy as hell if they have good bodies, and this girl more than qualified. She was so tall that it was hilariously hard to frame her in my pics, but I managed to nail her mid-drag twice and was standing close enough that I was able to tell by the lines on the cigarette that it was a Camel Crush.

As for her smoking style, she gets all A’s there too!!! Apparently it takes longer for nicotine to travel through her giant body because she was beating the hell out that cigarette to compensate, taking very frequent and very intense drags, putting the filter on that cigarette to work to deliver nicotine to the furthest reaches of her expansive female form. Most beautiful, however, were her exhales. They were all so thick and dense that if you saw her from afar without cigarette in hand that you’d figure she was exhaling from a vaporizer rather than an analog cigarette. Sometimes she should would tilt her head up and release those blasts skyward, and it was a pretty short trip to the stars from where she stood! I took a bench right around the corner from the trash can next to where she stood, and while the trash can obstructed my further attempts at photos, I did get a good look at the rest of her smoking show and it never stopped being sublime matching that face and that body to intense cigarette smoking in a way that’s delightfully rare in the year 2017. As quickly and intensely as she was smoking, the show ended in a few short minutes, and she knelt down to the pavement (long trip!) to crush out the cigarette and throw the butt in the trash. I was a little annoyed she didn’t just pollute the butt but I was thrilled with everything I saw.

More than an hour passed and I was venturing to the beer gardens block again. At no point in the day did my mind stray too far from that tall blond in the jean shorts smoking with her male friends, and I allowed my mind to entertain the hope that I just might see her again. Well luck was on my side as there she was, seated on a bench in the same general area just outside the beer gardens, once again with a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Unfortunately, she was near the end of this cigarette and I only got to see a couple of drags, but unlike her careful disposal of the previous butt, this one got dropped to the curb directly in front of where she sat. I attempted a few more pics but this batch ended up blurry. She was only sitting there a couple more minutes before the group ventured back towards the beer gardens, but I was able to positively ID her discarded butt as a Camel Crush as I had previously expected. Disappointing encore, you say? Don’t worry….she’s just getting started!

Right around 6:00, a most unfortunate cloudburst disrupted the day at a lousy time with torrential rain falling for about 10 minutes, eating away my great momentum from the late afternoon. But when the storm clouds passed around 6:00, I ventured back in the direction of the beer gardens block. Having seen my tall country cutie with the Camel Crushes twice already on the west side of the beer gardens, every time I approached the area from that point forward, the thought crossed my mind that she might be back. And lo and behold, she was. No telling how long she and her guy friends had suffered without their nicotine during the rain, but they were making up for lost time now with freshly lit cigarettes in tow. Every time my eyes landed on this girl I was temporarily breathless by her beauty and the perfect feminine presentation she was delivering. My camera phone had quit working for a while but I fixed the problem during the rain, and was damn glad I did because I went nuts with the camera and scored a good dozen pics of varying quality (some were amazing!) capturing this girl holding her cigarette near her face, dragging, and simply laughing in the company of her beer-swilling male companions with her shapely body on full display. The only shot I wish I’d have gotten but didn’t was from the aftermath of those deep drags she took where the smoke poured out of her gorgeous face as if an air-tight seal had been broken and delivered a blast of oxygen to a raging indoor inferno. As dark and ominous as those storm clouds were earlier, the cancerous clouds emerging from her mouth at nearly the same altitude as the storm clouds were just as spooky. I waited her out until she finished the cigarette, and like the last one, she littered this one on the wet ground, the smoldering butt giving off an odd-looking haze as it combusted on the drenched pavement. If there was any doubt at all that this girl was my best sighting of the day an hour earlier, this third sighting sealed the deal.

I didn’t want to stray too far from the grandstand during the 6:00 hour because smokers tend to stock up on nicotine outside the grandstand before heading into the concert which starts around 8:00. That evening’s grandstand act was country singer Toby Keith, who seemed like a good bet to draw a decently favorable, if slightly older-skewing, demographic. I approached the east side of the grandstand and got yet another surprise from “her”….her being my tall country cutie in the jean shorts with her three male friends. And even though it had been less than 15 minutes since I last saw her smoking outside the beer gardens, you’ll never guess what she was doing again!!! While this girl was definitely rocking a country outfit, I guess it never occurred to me that she would be attending that Toby Keith concert, even though every indication now was that she was about to do just that. This time, only she and one other guy in the foursome were smoking. I found a close bench and watched the show, not planning to take any more pics since I had already gotten so many. The deep and frequently paced drags continued, along with those sublimely cloudy exhales that made me hope this cutie has her respiratory therapist on speed dial!

This girl never struck me as a smoker when I first saw her in the mid-afternoon, even to the point that I wondered if she was merely a social smoker having a cigarette with the guys while drinking a beer. Now on her fourth cigarette in less than four hours (and God knows how many more I missed) I was definitely not entertaining any further thoughts of her only smoking socially. About three-quarters way through the cigarette, one of the guy friends very briefly broke my heart when he asked her for the cigarette. Little did I know this would facilitate the sexiest moment of the entire day from her. She handed him the cigarette alright, but while doing so she inadvertently let loose one of her giant exhales at a downward trajectory, and given his height compared to hers, he took a blast of smoke in the face big enough to drop some men to their knees. Apparently used to this behavior from this girl, the guy didn’t even respond, simply taking the cigarette from her and not even seeming to appreciate how badly he had just been emasculated…

So that was it right? She couldn’t possibly have any more arrows in her quiver could she? I had about 30 seconds to speculate that this girl had finally run out of ways to blow my mind before she began opening her purse. Sweet Jesus…the pack of Camel Crushes was coming out again! If the shrimpy guy was gonna take the last quarter of her cigarette away, then fuck it, she was just gonna have another one! I had taken a pic of just about every imaginable smoking pose from this girl, but I had yet to get a light-up shot. I readied my phone and she cooperatively dangled the unlit cigarette for about 10 seconds while I prepared the camera. It was a little dark and I was a bit too far away for the image to be perfect, but I nonetheless scored on camera the exact moment when her lighter came to life and ignited the fifth cigarette I’d seen her smoke in a few hours. From there, I just sat back and watched the show as she massacred yet another cigarette with all the usual trappings, and from this distance I noticed more examples of her exhales into the males’ faces, all appearing accidental and none quite as bombastic as when she plastered the guy who requested her cigarette. She put away the cigarette in about four minutes and the group confirmed my suspicion by heading into the grandstand after they finished smoking. I kept close tabs on this grandstand area before the show started and during the intermission following the opening act, just in case they came out to smoke again. If they did, I missed them. Even so, the hottest girl of the day gave me a five-cigarette sighting at the Minnesota State Fair….with the very real possibility that she could have put down twice that many cigarettes and I missed several of them by not being around her consistently all day. Every year I seem to get at least one sighting on my summer fairgrounds’ tour that stands out for its otherworldly intensity. This year it was the tall Camel Crush country girl in the daisy dukes who filled that role.

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MNSF #12. Mom Openly Smoking With Early Teen Daughter And Friend Bring “Trevor’s” Fictional Family To Life

It was 6:40 p.m. on Day 2 of the 2017 Minnesota State Fair and the evening’s grandstand lineup was weak so I wasn’t overly confident about getting a ton of great sightings from concertgoers, but I still knew that the area near the grandstand was my best bet. I wandered over to the east side smoking area and was only getting modest rewards there but moving to the cement base encircling the grandstand stairwell I would stumble upon my sighting of the day and the most shocking image of the 2017 fair season. A trio of female smokers included two of the youngest smoker girl faces I’d seen all day in the presence of a chubby mid-30s woman. The mid-30s woman on the right bore a striking resemblance to the young girl on the left so I figured she was her mother, while the girl in the middle didn’t resemble the other two and I suspect was just a friend. My first instinct upon seeing their faces and body types was….these girls are no older than 15!

I approached the berm from a different angle to get side pics of the blond on the left, who was absolutely adorable and had the sweetest face of any smoker of the fair season. And when I say her face was sweet, I’m talking about the purest cane of sugar from the C & H fields in Hawaii! I saw many teenage faces over the course of the 2017 fair season, almost none of them smokers, but somehow the girl with the face that seemed least likely of anybody to actually smoke was holding an all-white cigarette in her hand and dragging from it. Even in 1997, this would have been an unthinkable sighting, but in 2017 it just seemed too good to be true! Even her clothing was far more conservative than the average mid-teen fairgoer, her blond hair flowing over her shoulders onto a green tanktop with black jeans below the waist framing a petite body. And the teenage friend was nothing to sneeze at either, a brunette with her hair up in a ponytail wearing a white tanktop and medium-blue jeans with holes in the knees. She looked at least a little more like a smoker than the blond, but it defied belief to be standing in observance of either one of them with cigarette in hand. And it was also thrilling to see all three of them had different brands of cigarettes! Mom had some kind of cork filter while daughter had an all-white and the friend in the middle was smoking a Camel Turkish Royal. These very young smokers already had some independence in choosing their own brands rather than being forced to smoke whatever the adults gave them!

My vantage point from there was not perfect, but nobody seemed to notice as I hovered a few yards in from of them, frantically snapping as many pics as I could knowing a good percentage of them at this hour would be blurry. The smoking show was just adorable and every time the cigarette approached that mid-teen blond’s face I marveled. Both girls were very clearly adept smokers, but the blond seemed even more natural at it, and even though the image is blurry, I got a pic of a cloud of carcinogenic filth spewing out of her heartbreakingly cute face. The brunette friend was a little more distracted by her phone but she got some nice drags in too, albeit producing less dense exhales to follow the drags up. And while more of the pics that I scored were blurry than not, I managed three or four that were just perfect, including one of the blond in mid-drag, documenting this insanity close-up. Almost every year, I still manage to get at least one surreal sighting of this caliber, and I studied the girls’ faces as closely as I could as they neared the end of their cigarettes, wondering if it was just the latest example of the modern trend of girls looking younger than they are, but still being unable to imagine it here based on those faces. The blond finished her cigarette first, crushed the all-white out on the cement and dropped it to the pavement below. The brunette had a couple more drags left on hers and just dropped it to the ground without crushing it out. Now I had a problem as it was 10 minutes to 7:00 and I had to meet my parents soon…and these gals weren’t leaving just yet to allow me the butt IDs. But thankfully, a guardian angel helped me out, a middle-aged woman who was sitting on the corner of the cement just behind the blond got up to leave, and I was able to sit behind the teen smokers at very close range to wait them out. Doing so, I inadvertently got visual confirmation of their youth from only a foot or so away….

The brunette was looking at her own phone with her face reflecting in it as if taking selfies. Between the youthful image of her face in that phone and the way her legs filled out those holy jeans, I concluded there was no way she was more than 15. But then the blond turned to the friend and mom and I was able to see her face in profile upclose. My breath was temporarily taken away as I saw the features of a middle-school girl. Even 15 years old seemed like a stretch for this one, yet amazingly, she still had the telltale cheekbones of a girl who you could tell has been smoking a while. And she was rummaging around in her purse briefly which allowed me to spot the pack of Marlboro Nxts in there. This was a very special moment, and even though this girl’s mother was overweight and unattractive, I cannot possibly thank her enough for being a likely catalyst facilitating this cute young girl’s addiction to cigarettes. And I’ll just bet blondie was responsible for getting the brunette friend hooked as well. While I now had my brand confirmation, I was still gonna drag this out as late as I could and still meet my parents, and at 6:55 the mother shot off the cement with gusto and said “Let’s go, ladies!” to which the young girls rose to follow, heading south on the grounds.

With as big as the crowds were, I was skeptical I’d see them again on the grounds that evening, and I wouldn’t, but as I quickly turned the corner to make official the butt IDs of the blond’s Marlboro Nxt, the brunette’s Camel Turkish Royal, and the mom’s Marlboro Red, all littered below the pavement, it struck me that I had found something of a real-life version of the McPherson family from my “Trevor” stories, the smoking mom (from Minnesota no less) who corrupted her daughters into a smoking habit. It’s amazing to think there’s a family out there in my home state that in any way mirrors the fictional family from my stories, but I may have just had the opportunity to sit within a foot or so of the family that comes closest. My energy was now absolutely electric and I walked away at 6:57 to meet my parents.

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MNSF #13. My First Little Cigar Sighting From A Worthy Brunette

I stated previously that 2004 was my first great day at the Minnesota State Fair.  Even in the early morning hours I was scoring impressive sightings, but it was the later hours of the morning that produced a groundbreaking first-of-its-kind sighting for me that I will never forget.

I was breezily navigating an unpopulated east side corner of the fairgrounds when I spotted this adorable 22-ish dark brunette with shoulder-length hair and the most perfect girl-next-door face leaving one of the buildings all by herself. She was dangling something brown from her young lips which immediately froze me in my tracks. At first, I thought it was a More cigarette as she stopped quickly to light up, but the undeniable aroma of cigar smoke that quickly followed the light-up made it abundantly clear that this wholesome cutie just lit up a small Swisher Sweet cigar at the Minnesota State Fair…..

There seems to be a growing “little cigar” trend nowadays, particularly in inner cities, but it was still largely nonexistent in the Upper Midwest in 2004, and this adorable girl in no way fit the stereotypical demographic of a little cigar smoker, yet there she was, holding her stinky little brown treasure at her side as she proceeded through the grounds with an enticing mix of awkwardness and confidence. My crotch expanded instantly inside my jeans and I managed to follow her at a distance where I wasn’t exactly conspicuous, but was still able to smell the awful but alluring stench of cheap cigar smoke lingering in the air after she exhaled. My guess is she probably knew she was being followed, but there was no way I gonna miss out on this, watching her cute little butt wiggle in her painted-on jeans with each step. Here was this girl, exuding femininity with every flourish of her hips, yet smoking a smelly little cigar at the Minnesota State Fair.  I dared not even fantasize about something like this up to this point….

This was one of the only times in my years of fetishing where I was briefly overcome with an animal lust sensation…wishing I could have my way with this girl right then and there with her willing and instinctive acceptance, tasting the fresh cigar smoke on her breath the whole time. After watching her drop her little cigar to the pavement and stomp it out before walking away, I had way too much built up “tension” to carry on without a quick trip to the john to relieve myself. It was the only time a sighting got to me that much that I had to make a detour to relieve the tension.  There were many other moments that day would impress, but this was unquestionably the high point of the day, or of the entire year of 2004 for that matter.

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MNSF #14. Grandstand Worker Cutie Supersmokes On A Quick Break

I already cited how despite being the gloomiest day that I ever visited the Minnesota State Fair, the year 2000 produced a few of the best sightings I would ever score and transform it into one of the metaphorically brightest and sunniest days in the history of my fetish.

This was the last year I spent any time at all with the parents going through the commercial exhibit buildings, even though for about two-thirds of my day I went off on my own.  But it was my parents’ presence that gave some yummy context to this sighting. We went underneath the grandstand during the low-traffic morning hours and I saw this one commercial exhibit station peddling some sort of velcro harnesses. I didn’t really pay much attention to the harnesses, but assumed they were for emergencies of some kind. Anyway, one of the three workers there was this very attractive early 20s brunette in a skimpy blue tanktop and well-fitting khaki shorts that perfectly accentuated her curvy bottom. She was showing a customer how the harnesses worked as I walked by and I thought to myself, “She’s cute” and kept walking.

About an hour later, I was walking outside the grandstand by myself, feeling liberated and enthusiastic in one of my maiden solo voyages in search for smokers when I suddenly found one….her! She flew out of that grandstand like a woman on a mission and I immediately recognized her as the girl selling the velcro harnesses.  She quickly fired up a Marlboro Light that seemed to come out of nowhere, and was soon to become the first girl I had ever seen “supersmoking” a cigarette in a public setting. This girl was FEROCIOUSLY pulling nicotine from that cigarette into her black, tar-stained young lungs.

I walked past in a state of bliss, and after scoring that astounding appetizer, I went inside the grandstand building then looped around to the next door so I could go back outside and make the same incredible journey again. I did this three times, watching this girl continue to take intense and lengthy drags from that cigarette every time, always in rapid fire succession. I kept thinking to myself that the filter was gonna burn her fingers she was dragging so hard. After the third time walking past her, I noticed she went back into the grandstand, much as I wanted to see her fire up another smoke.

I almost wanted to go visit that grandstand exhibit so I could have her help me “try out those harnesses”. If the same thing had happened today, I probably would try it. The thought of this girl fastening something on my body ripe with the stench of fresh cigarette smoke still gets me excited all these years later.  And amazingly enough I still had one sighting that day that would be even better.

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MNSF #15. A Family of Smokers Watches a Parade

This was my first epic sighting from the epic Minnesota State Fair year of 2006, a sighting that I occurred in the early afternoon and which loved at the time but has continued to grow on me in my fantasies since.

This sighting transpired near the haunted house on the heavily traveled Judson Avenue on the south side of the fairgrounds. It started simply enough with a modestly attractive 19-20ish dark blond dragging on a freshly lit all-white. As I began to visually track her, I noticed she was in the company of a much more attractive college-age brunette wearing a pair of white sunglasses and denim capris and dangling her own freshly lit all-white from the corner of her mouth, looking as badass as is possible for a girl to look. The two girls progressed across the street and my eyes were glued on that long-haired dark brunette carrying on with one of the longest-lasting dangles I’ve seen from a young girl as she walked, almost as if showing off to the world just how beautiful it is for a gorgeous young girl to smoke a cigarette. It must have been a good 45 seconds before she removed that dangling cigarette from her mouth in time to meet up with what I assumed to be her parents and younger sister. Both parents were smoking, and it was clear I had come across a family of smokers.  Already breathless, this sighting was only getting started.

The dirty blonde didn’t look like the other two girls, so I’m not sure if she was part of the family or just a friend, but the sighting would soon add a third player thanks to her as the brunette kid sister, who looked about 18, opened the backpack of the dirty blonde and extracted her pack of Marlboro Lights, wasting no time lighting herself up.  So here we had two long-haired dark brunettes, one likely 20 and the other 18, who were almost certainly sisters and looked exactly alike publicly smoking with their family and friends. Then, a virtual storybook metaphor for this excitement ensued when the Minnesota State Fair’s daily afternoon parade was approaching the scene.

The family of smokers, all still in possession of burning cigarettes, got up to leave, apparently to follow the parade. The younger brunette was in the front of the crowd, so I couldn’t see her very well but I was more interested in the older sister who performed that incredible long-distance dangle only minutes earlier. The girl was right in front of me, dragging copiously from her cigarette and coming to a stop facing the parade float.  I could tell from the inverted filter that she was smoking a Parliament, occasionally using her cell phone to snap pictures from the parade, deftly balancing both the phone and her cigarette in one hand.   She took a couple of final drags before squashing out the cigarette beneath her shoe finally bringing to a close this eventful sighting.  It would have been great to see a little more out of the younger sister but even so it was a bona fide epic that stuck with me for months of future fantasies (particularly that dangle)  and I’m eternally grateful to the Minnesota State Fair for making it happen.


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MNSF #16. Closing Out The Day With An Amazing Trio of Teen Blonds in Shorts

I had pulled off a second abbreviated day at the 2009 Minnesota State Fair on a sunny Sunday during Labor Day weekend, and the day was going very well.  Nonetheless, I was approaching the final 20 minutes of the day before the agreed-upon departure time at 6 p.m. and I still hadn’t had an epic sighting that day or on any of my trips to the Minnesota State Fair in 2009 for that matter.  But the girls of the MNSF would come through in the clutch.

I was heading southbound from the grandstand area to the beer gardens. Approaching me was a trio of teenage girls, all very wholesome-looking and not particularly raising my radar as potential smokers as our footsteps continued to draw us closer to one another. The girl on the left dominated my attention because she was so beautiful, about 16 with the face of an angel and curly blond hair with pinkish streaks flowing past her shoulders, wearing an ultrafeminine pink tanktop and an equally feminine pair of white shorts. She began to rummage around in her purse, but I’d been seeing girls like her rummage around in their purses for cell phones all day and it was gonna be the same story with this girl, I told myself….But just in case, I looked over my shoulder as she passed me to see if maybe, just maybe, she was gonna be the one wholesome-looking teen beauty queen I would see all day who retrieved something from her purse that wasn’t a cell phone. I remember saying to myself in a state of near shock, “Oh my God!” as her left hand extracted a pack of Marlboro Smooths and I quickly turned around……

I made a point of walking in front of them briefly to get a closer look. There was a definite pecking order to their beauty. The blond was by far the prettiest looking like an absolute angel, while the tall girl in the middle was modestly attractive, and the girl on the opposite end was a plain jane, with obvious acne issues covered up by a thick layer of makeup. After sufficiently viewing their faces, I held back to follow them once again. They may have had varying quality to their 16-year-old faces, but all had equally impressive bodies to observe from the rear, all decked out in shorts. After about 10-15 seconds of these general observations, the beautiful teen blond finally got around to inserting the cigarette into her mouth. She let that thing dangle unlit from the corner of her mouth for a good 20 seconds while digging through her purse, apparently unable to find her lighter. She then had to recruit the least attractive friend to find a different lighter in her own purse, which she soon did. At last, this beauty had everything she needed to spark up her cigarette….

She brought that thing to life and started dragging. The look of pleasure on that pretty face as she filled her bloodstream with desperately needed nicotine made my heart melt, but as I was taking in this amazing display, she managed to catch me off guard again by removing the cigarette from her mouth and then hacking up a lugie so large and juicy that it literally splashed when it hit the pavement.  As I walked past it, I had to admire that generous pool of saliva deposited from her gorgeous smoky mouth.

She took a couple more drags, both with impressive frequency and better-than-expected volume to her exhales coming from a girl so young. At this point, she handed the cigarette to the tall girl in the middle who got her first drag. She then stood there with the cigarette in hand for nearly a minute before finally taking her next drag. The hot chick, having none of this lengthy spans between drags by her friend, all but swiped the cigarette from the other girl’s hand after that second drag and then took three rapid-fire drags of her own. It was a thing of absolute beauty to behold.

Naturally, a sighting would normally have been best if all three had been smoking, but the dynamic of this specific shared-cigarette sighting added to its allure. The primary reason is that the hottest of the two girls smoked about 80% of the cigarette and completely upstaged the taller girl. The third girl who provided the lighter, strangely enough, never got her hands on the cigarette. It was just the two prettier girls. I was in a position to walk directly behind the cluster of girls at points, taking in a few of their exhales directly into my face and admiring from closeup their trio of perfect teenage asses bouncing and wiggling in their skimpy shorts with each step, with flawless legs extending from those shorts without even a trace of cellulite on them. At other points, I would move more to their right side and observe their drags and exhales. Again, the beautiful blonde upstaged the tall light brunette friend on both fronts.  Damn she was sexy.

After dominating the cigarette for most of the walk, the blond handed over the cigarette to the tall friend for the last two drags. She would take those two drags and then crush out the cigarette under her flip-flop. I was a little surprised to see it was a cork filter as I walked past as I always thought Marlboro Smooths were all-whites. I have not been able to get the image of those three teenage butts wiggling in front of me, especially the white-shorted ass that belonged to my favorite sighting of the 2009 Minnesota State Fair.

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MNSF #17. Wholesome College Babe Performs Best Talking Exhale Of All-Time

I was on an incredible roll during the noon hour on my first Saturday at the 2011 Minnesota State Fair, and that roll would hit its apex with my favorite sighting of the two days at the MNSF.  I was navigating the seating area on the east side behind the grandstand, always a great source of sightings.  At the furthest end of a burm area that people always sit on while taking a break was an 18ish blond girl of the highest magnitude of wholesomeness placing a cigarette in her mouth and lighting up, immediately resulting in my heart skipping a beat.  There was a middle-aged couple seated to her right and she started talking to the woman, leading me to assume it was her mother, but I would later discover that was not the case.  I boogied on over there and as luck would have it, there was wide-open seating to her right and I sat about three feet from her, positioning myself for a front-row seat to greatness.

At first she looked my way, as if letting me know “I’m smoking a cigarette here, shooter.  If you don’t want to be around it, you’d best find another place to sit”.  But she never said anything, and watching her made my heart melt as she was incredibly wholesome.  She had such a gentle face, a look that was accentuated by a girlish plastic headband holding down the front of her hair and a tight, adorable little blond ponytail on the back of her head.  She wore a tan tanktop and olive green shorts that were very small and perfectly framed her awesomely slender figure. She was just too cute for words…and that was before I saw upclose the first drag at which point I fell completely in love…..

The cigarette went into her mouth and she took a mesmerizing six-second drag.  I was taken aback by how long that cigarette stayed in her mouth as she pulled from it, moments before she released a blast of smoke from her lungs that the wind caught just right to drift straight into my face.  I was toying around with my camera phone hoping to get a photo, but in this case I was simply too close.  There would be no way she wouldn’t know exactly what I had just done and she may even hear the shutter on the camera snap, so I held back and simply enjoyed the show….and what a show it was!

From afar this girl had a complete baby face without a hint of imperfections, but as close as I was, whenever she took one of her deep drags, I could see very well-defined draw lines already formed on her lips as she took her rapist drags.  It was clear that this girl had been sucking intensely on the filters of cigarettes for a very long time as it was taking its toll on her beautiful face in the most adorable way.  She only took that first six-second drag, but subsequent drags were still impressive, always revealing those draw lines around her mouth and always followed up with a look of orgasmic pleasure on her face for as good as that cigarette smoke felt inside her black lungs.  She would then tilt her head slightly upward and exhaled a tight plume of smoke that mostly came from her mouth with just a little bit of nasal residue.  But the sighting would rise to a new dimension when she would then pick up her cell phone to place a call, revealing a cute little girlish lighter that was sitting next to her by the cell phone…..

“Hey what up!” she answered with a definite smoker’s husk to her voice that didn’t match her girly girl look in the least.  From there I would eavesdrop on her conversation in which the person had apparently “stayed over at my mom’s last night”.   The more I listened, the more it became clear the middle-aged couple to her right was not her parents but perfect strangers….and the reason she probably spoke to them when she lit her cigarette was to warn them she was gonna stink the entire area up with her cigarette smoke.  Anyway, the conversation went on about “taking care of her birds” and then she talked about how “it’s hard for her to even go home now because home doesn’t feel like home anymore”….and that she “really loves Alexandria”.  Alexandria is a community college town about an hour and a half northwest of the Minneapolis-St. Paul area and I’m assuming by her comments this girl was going into her second year of classes there and had been living there for the summer, but was home in the Twin Cities for the fair as it also became clear that she was working in some capacity at the fair, probably as a vendor for whatever her summer job was.  With all that context out there, fascinating as it was to listen to, let’s get back to the smoking show which was about to take an epic turn….

She had taken a couple of nice drags early into this conversation that fit into her established style.  But one of her final drags from the cigarette was the prime catalyst for what made this the best sighting of the day.  After another extended rapist drag, she began talking to the friend on the phone and proceeded with far and away the most amazing talking exhale I’ve ever seen.  I knew I was in the presence of greatness immediately as I saw the first wisp of smoke escape her face.   Her pleasured body was very slowly releasing the contents of her lungs as she talked, and I mean very slowly, with swirls of smoke spilling from both her mouth and nose one small burst at a time for 10 seconds.  The smoke spurts were literally doing pinwheels and curlycues as they escaped her face for a seemingly endless parade, and even after all that slow-motion smoke release, a huge remaining blast of smoke fired out of her nose when she finished talking.  I would have paid $1,000 to exchange bodily fluids with this girl at this point.

Unfortunately, the show was almost over as she took one more drag and then crushed out the cigarette on the burm next to her and let it fall to the ground.  She wrapped up the phone call and then put her girlish lighter and her phone in a bag and then she put on her shoulders and got up to walk away, likely back to whatever fair vendor she was working for.  She had to have been stinky as hell when she returned to work.  I watched as that slender body of hers pressed forward, her adorable ass wiggling in those skimpy green shorts and that tight little ponytail bouncing a little on the top of her head as she walked.   Now when she dropped her cigarette butt, it fell into a crack but I was nonetheless able to identify it as a cork filter Camel Blue.  As I’m reminded at least once every few hours and sometimes even more often, my opinion was reinforced after watching this girl what a blessed place the Minnesota State Fair really is.

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MNSF #18. Blondie Holds Up Her Little Friends On The Midway

The 2001 Minnesota State Fair was the first day where I spent almost the entire day exploring the grounds solo, unleashed from the shackles of my parents’ presence, with the singular objective of spotting and cataloging the sightings of attractive young smokers.  While the day was going reasonably well as I approached the 6:00 hour, I had to yet to score a sighting that really grabbed me where I lived until I made my final midway run of the day.

Sometimes a walk through the midway yields results at the Minnesota State Fair, other times not. But this was the first time in my new role as an active fairgrounds fetisher that it definitely did. A group of three 15-ish girl-next-door types sat down on an open bench in front of me. I had a good feeling about them for whatever reason, so I was pleased to see a bench about 10 yards away was open and allowed me a glimpse directly at the girls. It still felt like a longshot though as I awaited a light-up, because they looked so darned wholesome.

Imagine my unbridled delight when the cutest of the three, this adorable 15-ish blond in a tanktop and jean shorts with the face of an angel, opened her purse and proceeded to extract a pack of Marlboro Lights. She lit up and enjoyed her cigarette, putting on a perfect display of precocious smoking from what I suspect was a fairly new smoker. None of the other girls lit up, which actually added to this sighting. Here was this angellic-looking young blond smoker who, despite the fact that her friends didn’t share her love of cigarettes, had decided that no human companionship could rival the friendship nicotine offered her.

She was so adorable sitting there inhaling smoke from the cigarette and exhaling it with the gusto of an eager “smoker-in-training.” The other girls seemed to grow progressively more restless as their stinky little friend sat there enjoying her cigarette. They weren’t specifically beckoning her to leave, but you could tell they wanted her smoke break to end far sooner than she was willing to to wrap it up. As cutie finally finished her cigarette and got up to leave, following her friends back into the midway, it really struck me how special this sighting was with this most unlikely smoker holding up her friends’ fun out of a selfish need to fill her own adorable little body with stinky carcinogens.  Not to say I couldn’t see a sighting like this again, but looking back 13 years later there’s just something very 2001ish about it that gives me a woozy feeling recollecting as a trophy from the good old days.

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