2015 Minnesota State Fair, Day 2

I had a moment of panic early Saturday morning when I checked out the weather forecast before leaving for another full day at the Minnesota State Fair on September 5, 2015.  Rain chances were listed as 15% or less throughout the day and night as recently as eight hours earlier, but suddenly there were 50% rain chances for the morning and the evening just as I was headed out the door.  And sure enough, the skies to the north when we headed towards St. Paul were black with lightning bolts flashing on the horizon.  I was just sick when the rain started 45 minutes north of my parents’ place, but held out some hope that it would end when we got there.  As luck would have it, it did, with the skies clearing almost immediately after our arrival and yielding a very hot day around 90 degrees that wiped me out by day’s end with no more rain materializing before we left at 10:30 p.m.  Attendance ended up being better than expected at 211,000–and better than the previous Saturday even though it sure didn’t seem like it–but unfortunately the key demographic wasn’t there….or wasn’t smoking at its usual numbers if it was.

Don’t get me wrong.  It wasn’t a bad day as I scored a number of extra base hits and a handful of genuine gems destined for my greatest hits list, but my numbers just seemed to lag behind schedule for much of the day and I ended the day with 164 sightings, my smallest one-day sightings harvest at the Minnesota State Fair in a decade.  My modern pattern of MNSF sightings started in 2006 when I fetished all day and night and no longer attended evening concerts that stunted night time sightings numbers, and I’ve never gotten fewer sightings during the modern era than yesterday.  It’s been a slow trickle in previous years but yesterday was the first sign of real reduction in the number of young females smoking and I hope it’s just a matter of grandstand act The Avett Brothers not bringing the preferred demographic the way that most grandstand acts do (like last week’s Carrie Underwood).  It’s entirely possible though that declining smoking rates have finally caught up with me and those 200-sightings days that were so dependable five years ago are gone forever.  As for 2015, last Saturday was definitely the better day of this year’s two days but there was enough good stuff to make for a solid 13 hours of fetishing this weekend.

The heat started to build right away when I got there and the wet pavement began to dry very quickly.  Don’t tell that to my Sighting #2 girl though, a 20-something brunette who I spotted about a half hour after arrival who was still decked out in a rain coat with a pair of utilitarian blue jeans smoking in the company of a nonsmoking boyfriend as she walked down Judson Avenue with cigarette in hand.  She was both cute and a little homely at the same time as she illegally smoked amongst the foot traffic nowhere near any designated smoking area.  Considering how hot I was in my T-shirt I couldn’t understand how she wasn’t baking in that rain coat, but she seemed to be doing okay puffing away while chatting with the boyfriend.  I followed her and watched her take some decent drags before throwing her cork filter butt into a garbage can.

Morning sightings are sparse so it’s a good time to visit the north side of the fairgrounds which is the more sparsely attended part of the fair generally yet still produces some decent sightings.  On the far north side there’s a designated smoking area that delivered yesterday, starting with a cluster of four or five smokers that were probably related to some degree, with one young hottie amongst them.  Sighting #3 was a long-haired dark brunette in a ball cap wearing a bright red T-shirt with nice leggings on her bottom.  It was hard to position myself in a good place to watch her smoke but I got a couple of decent backside pics.  From what I could see there was nothing distinctive about her style but the family setting made it a nice show.  Before that sighting even ended a mother and 20-something daughter emerged nearby in the same smoking area and lit up as well.  Sighting #4 was an otherwise pretty light brunette in a tanktop and jean shorts but she defiled her beauty with numerous visible tattoos on her arms and legs.  It was still nice to be getting sightings of this caliber at this time of the morning though.  I took a pic but it was from a little too far away to fully appreciate.

No surprise that the morning continued to go slowly but it was nice to score one extra base hit at around 10:45.  I was walking near the haunted house on Judson and saw this mid-20s dark blond smoking all by herself.  I crossed the street to see if she was as good as she looked from a distance and Sighting #7 came through.  She wasn’t standing by herself for long though as a nonsmoking brunette friend emerged, helping to distract my smoker enough for me to take some pics of her.  She had such a wholesome face and didn’t look at all like a smoker yet was nonetheless corrupting that face by sticking a cigarette into her mouth every 30 seconds or so and exhaling beautiful clouds of exhaust into the warm morning air, and doing so at an illegal location.  Her illegality got even more brazen after a couple of minutes, however, when a nonsmoking black girl emerged from the nearby ATM machine and appeared to be the third member of her group.  The three of them then took the sighting in motion with the cutest of the three brandishing a burning cigarette while walking down Judson and taking more illegal drags as she progressed.  I was really hoping for a butt ID from this one and crossing my fingers that she wouldn’t throw it in the trash.  Not only did she not throw it in the garbage, she polluted her all-white butt to the pavement without even bothering to crush it out.  I spotted the smoldering debris and checked it out.  This seemed like a classy brand-name girl so I was a little surprised to see she was smoking what looked from the filter to be a USA Gold.  Either way, very glad to get this sighting, especially given what a wasteland the next couple of hours would end up being.

I was grateful I found a girl as memorable as here to get me through the dreary next couple of hours as pickings were pretty slim at noon and points shortly after.  The previous week I had 24 sightings by noon whereas yesterday I had 10.  It wouldn’t be until nearly 1:00 that I scored my next good one with Sighting #21.  I spent a lot of time around the dairy building in hopes of another encounter with “Sophie” from the previous week.  I saw Sophie inside the building working the dairy counter but never saw her smoking again.  But coming out of the building yielded a smaller reward with an attractive young mother in her mid-to-late 20s with her light brown hair up in a ponytail.  She was looking for a place to smoke an unlit cigarette she held between her fingers in the company of her nonsmoking mom and the stroller she was pushing around which I suspect held her child.  Her clothing ensemble of a pink T-shirt and leggings was a good fit for the young mother and she ended up standing in the middle of the street away from the crowd to light up.  It made it a little tougher for me to take pics but I got a couple of decent ones.  She was talking to her nonsmoking mom through most of the cigarette but was smoking very slowly.  As exposed as I was in the middle of the street watching, I had to abort, walking away after three or four drags and no butt ID.

It was hard to know what to think about my next memorable sighting.  The berm on the perimeter of the east side of the grandstand was occupied by a young female who captured my interest from afar when I saw she was in possession of a cigarette.  I approached Sighting #24 to get a better look and even with a front row seat it was hard to appreciate how pretty she was, and that was largely due to the fact that her face was tilted down towards her phone where she was texting endlessly.  Her presentation was memorable though, wearing a white tanktop and athletic shorts with her legs on full display where she sat, and a backwards blue baseball cap with her light brown hair rolling onto her shoulders in braided pigtails.  Was she pretty though?  She seemed to have quite a nose on her but she seemed at least above average.  I scored a few photos and even looking them over today enlarged it’s hard to get a handle on her beauty.  It was a nice sighting though, despite her cell phone distractions slowing her smoking pace.  There was nobody around so I was able to observe her drags and exhales without interruption before she finished the cigarette, crushed it out and threw it in the nearest garbage can.  I looked in the trash can hoping to find the butt for an ID but wasn’t able to pull it off.

Rewards continued to be modest in the early afternoon but approaching the 2:00 hour I got a sighting with a very interesting and unusual storyline.  Sighting #35 started out plainly with an early 30s brunette in sunglasses wearing a blue T-shirt and black shorts standing in front of the bathroom near the International Bazaar illegally smoking a cigarette.  She was attractive enough to give a second look to in passing but I didn’t figure she’d warrant a writeup until she did a monster dangling drag that lasted about 10 seconds.  I was thoroughly impressed and readied my phone again, scoring a pic of her amidst another dangling drag that lasted almost as long.  The dangling drags were a thing of the past from that point on but her traditional drags after that just went on and on, sucking for like 12 seconds on a cigarette that didn’t seem to be producing all that much smoke all things considered.  This wasn’t adding up so I took a closer look at the cigarette.  The tobacco seemed to be two-thirds separated from the filter for whatever reason, but she was trying her hardest to make it work and get her desperately needed nicotine fix.  It was cute to watch as her remaining few drags were just as much of a struggle.  She wasn’t gonna cry uncle though and got through about two-thirds of the cigarette before finally dropping it to the pavement and giving up.

The smoking area on the west side of the grandstand was a little disappointing in 2015 after years of being the best place on the fairgrounds for sightings, but it offered a small reward yesterday with Sighting #39, a young 20-something couple sitting on the bench nearest the ashtray both puffing away.  The girl had long dark brown hair and was wearing a pink blouse and jean shorts.  She wasn’t “beautiful” but had an innocent look about her that didn’t make her seem like a smoker.  She reminds me a lot of my coworker’s 23-year-old daughter Sarah, who I’m quite certain is not a smoker.  I got a couple of pics and watched a modestly rewarding smoking show at this spot, then saw the couple smoking again at the smoking area on the other end of the grandstand area only about an hour later.

Only seconds after abandoning the last sighting I walked right into Sighting #40, where two young couples in their mid-20s were walking down the sidewalk.  All were holding beers but only one girl was smoking a cigarette.  She was a pretty ponytailed dark blond in a green tanktop and jean shorts, definitely one of my hotter smoker girls of the early afternoon, illegally puffing away on her cork filter a distance away from any designated smoking areas.  It hasn’t been since 2009 that the 93X Rocks radio station booth played into one of my sightings but it did yesterday when the two couples approached the stand, when the smoker girl and the guy I presumed to be her boyfriend walked right up to look at T-shirts and other memorabilia for sale.  She puffed on her cigarette right there in front of the vendors, never exhaling their direction but still forcing them to choke on her smelly tobacco vapors.  It was a tight squeeze and a risky shot but I scored a couple of modest pics, one of her in mid-drag and watched her finish off the last two or three drags on the cigarettes while looking over the T-shirts.  Her final gesture was the sighting’s high point as she tossed the butt to her right in close proximity to the male in the other couple.  I didn’t catch his name, but she called him out and requested that he “step on that”.  The guy obeyed and killed the smoldering cork filter butt on the pavement per her request.  It was easy to tell from the markings that the cigarette was a Marlboro Smooth.

For the first time ever, the midway was a complete zero yesterday.  I made two full passes through the midway, one in the early afternoon and another wasteful one in the mid-evening, and several very brief excursions to the designated smoking area only about 50 yards into the midway, getting absolutely nothing for my troubles.  The good news about walking away from a disastrous 15-minute midway walk is that the sightings-rich beer gardens awaits when you complete it, and in this case a hot late 20s brunette who would be Sighting #42.  I go back and forth regarding whether this girl was a Latina or a dark-complected white girl with a somewhat ethnic look, but she was smokin’ hot whatever her ethnicity, decked out in a gray tanktop that was both low-cut and bare midriff with some tight jean shorts on the bottom.  She was standing alone in the block in front of the beer gardens and I got a few pics of her, one in mid-drag.  There were several instances yesterday where I think the girl was on to me, validating my long-standing fear that this photo-taking is gonna be the end of me sooner or later.  In this case, she moved over a few feet and I knew better than to push my luck and follow.  Thankfully she was still close enough I could watch her finish the cigarette out of the corner of my eye.  No stylistic flourishes but she was my first taste yesterday of a girl definitively dressed for summer smoking a cigarette.  In a couple of minutes, her nonsmoking boyfriend showed up with beers and in a minute or so, she finished the cigarette and crushed it out, regrettably tossing it in the nearest garbage can before they walked away.  Luck was with me though as I approached the trash can and saw that it was 80% full, with a cork filter cigarette butt resting atop the pile that I was able to ID as a Marlboro Red.

An exciting two-for-one sighting came around 3:00 across the street from the International Bazaar when I came upon a duo of attractive 21ish hotties wielding cigarettes while sitting on the curb.  I first noticed Sighting #48, an attractive dark-complected light brunette with a reddish tint to her hair wearing a pink tanktop and black gym shorts.  She may have been the prettier of the two but her friend intrigued me more.  Sighting #49 was a dark brunette whose hair was up in a ponytail, her summer ensemble consisting of a white tanktop and very short jean shorts.  The tightness and shortness of her jean shorts jumped out at me right away but then I noticed that her mouth seemed to be blue.  I did a double take and her lips and teeth were definitely blue, and then I noticed why.  Whatever drink she got from the International Bazaar, be it alcoholic or nonalcoholic, was some blue slushy drink and it left its mark in the cutest way on her face.  I got an exceptional photo of her standing up from the curb, abandoning her drink and leaving it sit on the street while in a bending state that really shows off her boobs in that tanktop and her legs and crotch in those jean shorts, all with a half-smoked cigarette between her right fingers.  While the girls may have been abandoning their drink, they weren’t abandoning their cigarettes as they proceeded down busy Judson Avenue illegally wielding the remains of them, dragging without reservation or shame and exhaling their pollution into the airspace of dozens of luckless fairgoers crossing paths with them.  I knew if these girls were piggish enough to leave their drink sitting on the curb they wouldn’t suddenly turn into environmentalists when it came to their cigarette butts, so I fully expected a butt ID and got them.  Both girls smoked their cigarettes to the filter, with the whiter girl with blue teeth losing hers first and the darker-complected girl following suit about 30 seconds later.  I could tell from the green ring on the filter that both butts were Newports.

Heading back to the east side of the grandstand, I noticed from afar an early 20s blond sitting in front of a fence near the grandstand entryway smoking a cigarette.  As I got closer I could see it was a two-for-one deal as she had a brunette friend who was more attractive smoking just to her right.  Sightings #52 and #53 were both quite wholesome and in their mid-20s, and didn’t seem at all like smokers, the blond in a striped white and gray tanktop with jean shorts and the ponytailed dark brunette in a pink tanktop with black athletic shorts, but they sat there talking to each other puffing away openly on their cork filters.  I wasn’t close enough for great photos but I got a couple of modest pics, and my eyes were primarily fixated on the dark brunette who had far more IT factor.  A middle-aged female smoker approached them before lighting her cigarette and bantered with them briefly, most likely about it being a “smoking area” even though it wasn’t.  I watched until the brunette took her final drag and then crushed out the butt into the crack of the pavement and left it standing straight up there.  The girls didn’t appear to be leaving any time soon to enable me a butt ID so I moved on.

The beer gardens and the designated smoking area nearest to it was next on the itinerary and it was there I spotted the tail end of Sighting #55, a sexy and wholesome-looking mid-20s Asian gal in a pink tanktop and black shorts.  There are a decent number of Asians in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area and every year I score a few great sightings of Asian babes smoking, and this girl was easily the sexiest of the Asian smokers of 2015.  Unfortunately, she was on her final drag as I approached and was exhaling as she tossed the all-white butt into the overflowing community ashtray.  Thankfully, I saw her again in another smoking area about an hour later and this time was able to see her smoke at least half of her cigarette with some nice drags and exhales.  Her cigarette looked like a Marlboro Light from the markings but she again deposited it in the community ashtray denying me an official butt ID.

Considering how much smoking activity took place in that general beer gardens area I made a point of doubling back from the Coliseum a block south of there several times yesterday and revisiting the beer gardens and its adjacent bathroom area only a couple of minutes later.  Doing this yesterday at about 3:45 walked me into my best sighting of the day, although interestingly on the north side of the bathroom rather than the south side where the designated smoking area is.  Two teenage girls in bare midriff tops and shorts were standing out in the open wielding freshly lit cigarettes.  Sightings #57 and #58 were the exact kind of eye candy I’d been crossing my fingers all day to see openly smoking at the fair, and they were perfectly positioned for me to take photos as all I had to do was lean up against the corner of the bathroom and watch from my front-row seat.  One girl was a dark brunette whose hair was up in a bun wearing too-cool-for-school sunglasses, a bare-midriff hot pink tanktop, and very short jean shorts with legs so smooth they looked like they were polished with Lemon Pledge.  The sunglasses in particular made her look older than the 18 I expected she was, but when the sunglasses came off towards the end of the sighting I could tell she was definitely as young as I expected.  But the blond friend upstaged her in the presentation department, and not even by a small amount.  This girl was the embodiment of homecoming queen beauty, her long blond hair flowing onto a white tanktop with a bare midriff with fringes and a pair of blue shorts with white stripes on her bottom and equally perfectly toned legs.  But that face….a fresher young face sucking on the filter of a cigarette I have not seen the entire fair season.  She was a bona fide perfect 10 knockout.  And she was smoking a cigarette right in front of my face, and doing so adorably…..

The girls were pretty solid smokers.  There were no stylistic bells and whistles per se but their drags were well timed with beautiful cloudy exhales…and I got a handful of world-class photos of it.  And they stood where they did for about two minutes before, amazingly, they moved out of the way and stood right next to me, giving me an even better vantage point to see–and smell–their smoking.  The blond was so close I could no longer get a photo of her but I did score a nice close-up of the brunette on the other side of her in mid-drag.  After that it was all about just watching and really enjoying the show.  The brunette was probably a slightly better smoker as her smoke filtered out of her mouth and nose in cloudy blobs that filled the airspace in her general area like pollution from a Beijing smokestack.  It was a close call though because the blond’s drags and exhales were prettier, with her gorgeous face lighting up with pleasure when she ingested her cancerous cigarette smoke and then released the poisonous exhaust in a straight line out of her mouth.  And the best part was how all of the filth from their respiratory systems was inadvertently invading the airspace of the guy hovering a few feet to their north…and that guy would be me.  The stench from these two fumers’ cigarette haze was intense and between the visual and olfactory assault I was absolutely beaming with excitement.  The brunette finished her cigarette first and set into motion the sighting’s most distinctive moment.  She smoked it right down to the filter and began crushing the cigarette onto the corner of the building near where the blond stood.  The blond let out a girlish shriek and then said “your ember burned my toe” as apparently a spark from the cigarette as the brunette crushed it out fell onto the blond’s flip-flop-draped foot.  Clearly the pain wasn’t too intense and the brunette giggled out a half-hearted apology.  The blond clearly wasn’t in enough pain to stop attending to the rest of her cigarette, which had two remaining drags left in it before she dropped it to the pavement and the pair progressed elsewhere into the fairgrounds, never to be seen again yesterday.  I checked out the girls discarded butts and they were the variety of Marlboro Reds that have the “Marlboro” logo written in cursive on the cork filter.  I told myself after this sighting that if nothing good happened the rest of the day, at least I was blessed to walk into this electric moment and see that teenage girls of this nature still smoke in 2015.  Luckily there were more strong points to come yesterday, but none as strong as this, particularly with as logistically perfect as this one was for me to fetish.

Once again, I was pretty lucky to have scored with such a great sighting when I did because the coming hour was gonna be a snoozer.  The best I would see in the next hour was Sighting #60, a dark blond 20-something with a nonsmoking boyfriend sitting down on the south side smoking area and removing a pack of Parliaments from her purse.  I would see two other girls smoking Parliaments yesterday and it surprised me because I know they’re quite expensive in a state where cigarettes are very expensive to begin with.  As always, I was also intrigued that she was a smoker with a nonsmoking boyfriend in an era where that’s supposed to be an endangered arrangement.  I was preparing for a nice light-up and she delivered, enabling me to score a couple of snapshots and then watch her first couple of drags before taking off in pursuit of the next shiny object even though I’d have to wait a long time for the next shiny object to appear.

It would be a slow ascent out of the doldrums even at the 5:00 hour.  The east side of the Coliseum would typically be a sightings gold mine during the afternoon hours of a very hot day like yesterday because it’s shady and there’s a wind tunnel effect that magnifies the breeze.  But yesterday it disappointed with few strong moments.  The closest I would come was Sightings #74 and #75, which consisted of a group of three guys and two girls in their mid-to-late 20s.  As I approached the group, I took note of the most attractive girl, a brunette in a tanktop and jean shorts with braided pigtails, exhaling a cloud of cigarette smoke in front of her face…..seconds before kneeling down to the pavement to crush the cigarette that produced that cloud out.  While her less attractive friend was still smoking, I definitely felt like I got robbed with that one.  Adding insult to injury, I saw the same group again about an hour later and everybody was smoking except the hot girl with the braided pigtails.

Modest rewards ensued throughout the 5:00 hour as well but my plan was to be outside the dairy building at 6:00 since that’s when Sophie was on her smoke break the week before.  And right on cue, things started to come alive at the lead-up to 6:00 as I made a final pass by the beer gardens leading up to my planned return to the dairy building, even going so far as to cut through the alleyway behind the beer gardens block to get there faster, but doing so led me to Sighting #87, the best sighting I would score yesterday in the alleyway that’s been a pretty good haven for sightings in recent years. An attractive mid-20s couple was sitting on the cement ledge with a beer and a cigarette each.  The girl was an adorably wholesome ponytailed dark blond in a green T-shirt and short gray shorts puffing away while chatting with the boyfriend.  The problem with this sighting was that it was hard to find any place to observe it and harder yet to manage a photo.  I tried from a few different angles but got lucky once walking past and snapping the shutter just as the cigarette approached her wholesome lips.  I would have enjoyed seeing more than the passing observations I had of her smoking style but given the logistical nightmare watching this sighting would be and my hopeful Sophie reward a few minutes away, I decided to take off.

Only two more blocks to walk from there and I’d be ready for Sophie 10 minutes ahead of schedule if she came out on another smoke break.  But my first homerun sighting in hours and my second favorite sighting of the day had other ideas.  I cut through the walkway outside the DNR building thinking that would be the path of least resistance to Sophie, but instead it led me right into Sighting #89.  I could tell from afar that I had found a sexy female specimen wielding a freshly lit cigarette but each successive footstep confirmed just how amazing of a discovery I had found.  Sitting on a bench was a middle-aged white woman and two young black children who looked about 11 and 8 years old.  But standing in front of the bench was a white teenage brunette who somehow connected to this group wielding a cigarette.  She looked about 17 and while there was a mild air of trashiness about her, she was still positively stunning with her very long dark brown hair stretching all the way down her back past her bare midriff white tanktop and cresting onto her pale blue and very tight jean shorts that framed a splendid crotch and ass.  It was clear when she smiled just how young she was and almost certainly not yet 18, yet somehow she was allowed to smoke a cigarette in front of what I figured was her mother and perhaps the young children she was babysitting or was an adopted older sister to.  As if the deep drag she ingested from the cigarette wasn’t a bad enough example for her to display in front of the children, she followed that first drag I witnessed with a significant lugie spit to the grass pretty much right in front of mom and the children.  I scored a litany of pics on this one, including one of her in mid-lugie!  I moved to their right where an open bench awaited and figured I was in a prime location for more photos, but didn’t take into account that I’d be taking pics into the sun.  While they turned out for the most part, I never nailed the youthfulness of this girl’s face perfectly.

Either way, what a show she continued to put on, cooperating nicely for my needs by being restless and changing positions in front of, behind, and to the side of the others in the group who were able to sit still in spite of her.  Doing so allowed me to witness her smoking from a variety of angles and admire all parts of her stellar young female anatomy on display a few feet in front of me, with that perfect ass in those killer jean shorts being the best of what she had to offer.  Another lugie came up in front of the mother and children again and didn’t appear to even generate a comment as they have apparently come to regularly accept this vulgar display of smoking and spitting from this adorable teenage girl.  The group got up to leave before girlie finished her cigarette, and thankfully they were headed the same way I was en route to Sophie.  There wasn’t much left of her cigarette so I figured she’d dispose of it quickly, but went another block dragging from it.  At one point she affectionately put her arm around the young black boy as she walked, still wielding her cigarette in her other hand.  A final drag followed by another juicy lugie transpired with her arm around this young boy, and having smoked the cigarette down to the filter she tossed it to the curb and pressed on.  Thank goodness for the green ring around Newport butts because that was the only way I was able to get a butt ID.  I had been concerned yesterday would be a one-sighting wonder up to that point after the two snooze-worthy hours that followed it, but I got the burst of adrenaline I needed to keep morale up by now.  And it was 5:57 meaning I still theoretically had time to see Sophie smoking if her break was at the same time as the week before!

Unfortunately, Sophie was nowhere to be found when I got to her smoking area.  I was hoping she had the same break times every shift but I didn’t really figure it worked that way.  I went into the dairy building and she was working her station with a significant crowd in line, so I didn’t figure a smoke break would be happening anytime soon.  I made a point of returning to that smoking area every few minutes just in case but finally had to admit defeat and simply hope I would catch her randomly in normal routine of subsequent walk-bys of her smoking area (spoiler alert:  I wouldn’t).  Around 6:15 I headed back to the grandstand area and an approaching dark blond in sunglasses would become Sighting #91, a mid-20s sexpot in a tiny blue top with far more inches of exposed midriff than she had inches of blouse, with a small pair of jean shorts below, and a freshly lit cigarette between her fingers.  She walked past the seating area outside the grandstand and quickly stopped in the presence of a middle-aged couple I suspected were here parents, with the father smoking a cigarette as well.  I got a couple of mediocre pics but her positioning was not great sandwiched in between the others.  I watched a few drags and her style was nice but not distinctive.

I abandoned that sighting halfway through and suffice it to say I made the right choice as it was merely the appetizer to the full meal I would get moments later in the designated smoking area about 10 yards away.  I made a quick pass around the area and found nothing of consequence but just before I was about to abort I was in the right place at the right time to see late teen sexpots dressed in what amounted to little more than a bra and panties approaching the smoking area.  One was exotic looking and appeared to be a mix of black and Asian with short black hair, although perhaps she was just black and had some faint Asian features.  But the white friend is who my eyes laser-focused on the second she entered my field of vision, an uber-wholesome brunette girl-next-door look could not have possibly contrasted more with her skimpy sports bra top, microscopic black shorts resembling underwear, and several inches of exposed midriff on full display giving my eyes a sweeter dose of candy than any sugary concoction that a Minnesota State Fair vendor was capable of putting on a stick!  I had less than a second to process this imagery before the white girl nudged the friend on the arm and pointed up to the “designated smoking area” sign with this gleeful look on her face before the two of them stopped in their tracks.  They had found the place they were looking for!  The black girl began rummaging through her bag and soon extracted a pack of Newports, taking one out for herself and one for her even more scantily clad friend.  Sightings #93 and #94 confirmed the staying power of a trend that had already been ongoing yesterday…..that if a young female was walking around the Minnesota State Fairgrounds on September 5, 2015, with inches of her midriff exposed, she was addicted to nicotine and only moments away from feeding that beast.  Sure enough, the black girl lit herself first and then handed the lighter to the white friend.  I got several pics of them, including one of the brunette lighting herself up.  Now it was just a matter of watching the show…..

The girls stood apart from the crowd and were technically not in the designated smoking area, likely eliciting glances from passersby first for what they were wearing with a second look forthcoming upon noticing they were smoking.  There were no stylistic bells and whistles, but of course there doesn’t have to be much in the way of additional stimulation when smoker girls this hot are wearing so little clothing.  The overwhelming majority of my attention was focused on the white girl who was just so darn cute inserting that long cigarette into her mouth and exhaling modest plumes of smoke mostly to her left as she bantered with the black girl.  The drags were nicely timed and the exhales were cloudy enough to impress during the course of the five-minute show, with the black girl smoking slightly faster and finishing her cigarette a minute or so ahead of the white girl.  The black girl crushed out her cigarette beneath her feet rather than walk towards the ashtray that was, unlike them, actually in the smoking area.  After that, the two of them started walking away, with the white girl taking two more drags from her cigarette before dropping it to the pavement and crushing it out as well.  I was 99% sure from the color of the pack that the girls were smoking Newports but I was able to ID the white girl’s discarded butt and confirm it.  I definitely had some early evening momentum going now.

And this momentum carried me to the beer gardens area where yet another girl with an exposed midriff would be smoking, although I got lucky with this one as I spotted this mid-20s blond in a microscopic gray tanktop and medium blue jean shorts rummaging around in her purse in the presence of her boyfriend.  I was close enough to take a peek in passing and spotted a pack of Marlboro Reds Special Blends at the moment I walked past her, quickly reversing course and following in the hopes that she was about to smoke one of them….and she was.  A cigarette came out of the pack and she did an unlit dangle while gravitating towards the sidewalk–away from the crowd but not in the smoking area 10 yards away which she was apparently unaware of–and lighting up in the presence of the laid-back black boyfriend who wasn’t smoking.  Sighting #98 wasn’t as pretty as some of the other bare-midriffed girls who had been stinking up the fairgrounds with cigarette smoke in the last few hours, but there was still a wholesome girl-next-door quality about her that charmed me, particularly with her skimpy attire and the unlikely cigarette she kept dragging on, and I snuck a handful of solid pics of her in various smoking poses.  The girl was standing in front of a display of hammocks while smoking and the boyfriend decided to chill out there, either to relax for a few minutes or to escape her stench….or perhaps both.  Another sighting was going on behind me so I was in the joyous position of being able to shift my head from left to right and enjoy two smoking shows by attractive young gals, but this bare-midriffed blond was definitely the main attraction.  When she finished the cigarette, she crushed it out on the pavement and approached the garbage can as I kind of figured she would, denying me a formal butt ID but I was lucky enough to see her pack in her purse earlier.  I will say this sighting lost a little bit of luster two hours later when I saw the girl and her boyfriend in the beer gardens and were both smoking.  I liked it better when she was the only smoker in the relationship but I suppose I can take some comfort in the fact that she’s a heavier smoker than he is.

Next, I headed down Judson Avenue and the smoking area in front of the dairy building hoping for another shot at Sophie.  She wasn’t there, but sitting on the curb was Sighting #102, a late 20s blond in sunglasses wearing a black tanktop and short jean shorts texting away while smoking her all-white, her bare leg touching pavement due to the shortness of her shorts. I was very impressed with her first two lengthy dangling drags and readied my camera hoping to catch her in the act again.  Unfortunately, her pace slowed down and the dangling drags yielded to traditional drags at that point but the show was still pretty stylistically impressive.  I got some okay photos but she spotted me after a bit and I decided to abort before getting a butt ID, although I could tell it was an all-white and suspected it was a Camel Crush.

Back to the beer gardens about 20 minutes later and not particularly impressed with my numbers heading into the meeting with my parents.  A mixed-gender cluster of friends hovering between the beer gardens and the smoking area was setting off my radar as I approached and while my favorite girl in the group wasn’t smoking, the second hottest was.  Sighting #107 was a ponytailed dark blond with a wholesome face wearing a yellow tanktop and white shorts, intermittently dragging from the cork filter cigarette in her left hand.  She was a solid smoker with nice pacing, drag times, and exhales even if she wasn’t charting any new territory stylistically or storyline-wise, but that wholesome face and the fact that she was the only one smoking in her group kept me interested.  I snapped a couple of pics and thankfully one of them turned out.  With dusk approaching rather quickly, my camera phone is far more likely to blur as was the case in the first pic I took.  She finished the cigarette and crushed it out beneath her foot, but unfortunately the group wasn’t going anywhere and I had to meet up with the folks, meaning I wasn’t gonna get a butt ID here.

My mom requested we meet at the information booth at 7:30 rather than the usual 7:00 last night because she wanted to go to this horse show inside the Coliseum that started at 6 and she figured it would last an hour.  I was fine with that as it meant more fetish time in the daylight where my pictures would turn out.  The bad news was I was well below by baseline.  Typically at the 7:00 meet-up time with my parents I’m between 110 and 125 sightings, but tonight it was 7:30 and I was only at 108.  I’ve had remarkable consistency with sightings counts at the Minnesota State Fair over the years and this was the furthest behind I’ve been in the early evening.  I ate some cookies and bantered with the folks for about 10 minutes before heading off on the evening leg of my final night of fairgrounds fetishing in 2015, continuing to plod along behind schedule and finally finding something remotely memorable with Sighting #116 just outside the International Bazaar around 8:00.  A mid-20s light brunette in a black tanktop and jean shorts was hovering near the entrance smoking a cigarette.  She was certainly cute but nothing like the dark brunette hottie I saw in front of the Bazaar the previous week.  This girl was the best thing going at the time though so I watched a few drags and took a photo that turned out decently given that it was after dark by now.  A blond friend came out with drinks and I stuck around hoping she’d light up too as she was hotter than the brunette but nothing doing.  Worse yet, she was blocking my view of the brunette smoker!  After another minute or so I decided to take off, deducing the blond was not likely to light up and I could waste a lot of time waiting.

My instinct was right as about 100 yards up the block between the Leinie Lodge and the food building was a familiar group.  Less than an hour earlier, I cited a group where the hottest blond was not smoking but the second hottest girl in the group (another blond) was.  Well now the tables were turned and the mixed-gender group of about six or seven had only smoker amongst them again, only this time, Sighting #117 was the early-to-mid-20s platinum blond sexpot I was most into the first time I saw the group!  And while the other girl was at least smoking near a designated smoking area earlier, the hot blond of the hour was nowhere near one as she stood in the middle of the street wielding a fairly freshly lit cork filter.  Their positioning made it a struggle for me, especially since they had seen me before and I didn’t want to push my luck, so I ended up watching mostly from behind which wasn’t all bad because I got to admire her epic ass in a pair of pale blue jean shorts that bubbled out gorgeously beneath her white flower-print top.  I also got to see her cloudy exhales from behind which was nice but I would have preferred to see more of her distinctively pretty face as the smoke poured out.  After scoring the best photo I was capable of getting from the rear, I moved around and was able to catch a frontal view of her for a minute or so before she and the group pressed northward, blondie still wielding her cigarette.  She took a couple more drags before dropping the smoldering butt to the pavement without crushing it out, the bright cherry glowing like a beacon as I approached for a butt ID.  I suspect it was a Marlboro Red Special Blend based on the logo but can’t definitively say that with all the Marlboro variations out there these days.  It was very nice to get some deferred gratification on this one after dismissing her as a likely nonsmoker earlier.

After dark, the designated smoking areas tend to thin down as the mostly younger crowd remaining on the grounds doesn’t really bother with them, but the prolific smoking area on the east side of the grandstand that delivered so many times in the past two weeks had one more modest reward for me with Sighting #122, a mother-daughter sighting.  The long-haired, light brunette mid-2os daughter in the tanktop and jean shorts was attractive to be sure, but unfortunately defiled herself with tattoos within the neckline which is a dealbreaker for me.  They sat on a bench just outside the official smoking area and puffed away.  I stayed for a minute or so but the tattoos weren’t working for me and I decided there had to be other, better stuff going on that I should take advantage of in the evening hours.

And I ended up being right as I headed to the beer gardens area and quickly ticked off a decent selection of sightings, but far and away that best sighting from this journey past the beer gardens was Sighting #129, an absolutely adorable and epically wholesome mid-20s long-haired brunette who stood in a mixed-gender cluster of four or five friends and was the only one smoking.  She had the sweetest possible face that exuded a lot of character, and gave out an all-around bubbly vibe while giggling and bantering with friends as she polluted their airspace.  She was decked out in a black tanktop and pale blue jean shorts that showed a lot of smooth leg and outlined her ass and crotch nicely.  Her cigarette appeared to be a Camel Turkish Royal as it seemed to have the blond filter and also seemed slimmer than a traditional cigarette, something I’ve recently noticed about CTRs and giving her an additional air of glamour.  I took three photos and the third one turned out pretty good despite the darkness and I enjoyed watching her puff away, filling the airspace of her nonsmoking friends group with noxious carcinogens that nobody seemed to mind.  I stuck around till she dropped the butt to the ground and wanted to confirm that it was a Camel Turkish Royal, but when the group didn’t leave and began noticing me it was time to split.

I would next make my biggest mistake of the day and spent more than 15 minutes elbowing my way through the crowded but sightingless midway.  Remembering how many sightings I scored on midways in years past makes it all the more depressing to see what wastelands they’ve become in 2015, particularly last night when I got completely skunked.  Yet it’s one of those situations where I feel guilty for not making at least one pass per evening because there’s been so much great stuff to see there in the past, including three great ones just last year.  I emerged from the midway at about 8:50 and the antidote definitely proved to be the beer gardens block once again, in this case, around the corner at the alleyway in front of the port-a-potties where two attractive 21ish couples were sitting all about to spark up cigarettes, the females of the group to become Sightings #134 and #135.  The distributor of the cigarettes was a very attractive mixed-race girl who I wish I had a better vantage point to see as she handed out cigarettes to both guys and the white girl in the group.  The light brunette white girl was attractive too in a black tanktop and dark jeans and lit up her cigarette first, exhaling some pretty impressive carcinogenic clouds into the evening sky.  It would be a full minute later before the mixed race girl got to enjoy the spoils of the tobacco products she’d been sharing with others, the last of the four to light up.  My vantage point was not good at all so I was only able to stick around for a couple of the mixed race girl’s drags and four or five of the white girl’s as the four of them bantered playfully.  Definitely wish I could have stuck around for more of this one.

At the other end of the beer gardens block was another impressive find in Sighting #137, a sighting that was in many ways the mirror image of the #129 hottie except that she was blond.  Another mixed-gender group of four early 20s friends stood together with only one smoker amongst them, this adorable and wholesome curly-haired blond in a black flower-print blouse, a bare midriff, and green shorts that framed her ass nicely.   Once again, she had the face of an angel and did not look at all like a smoker, particularly the only smoker of the group as she was here.  I clicked a single photo where the light was shining in her face and obstructed her best feature even though you can see the rest of her hot body in the pic.  Apparently I told on myself right away here as everybody was looking my direction and the girl moved inside the huddle.  I’m really pushing my luck with this photo-taking and I know it’s gonna instigate an embarrassing (at best) encounter at some point, but I fear that up until it does I will continue to perceive the reward to be greater than the risk.  All I could do after getting busted this time was walk away from this sighting far sooner than I hoped, having only seen a couple of drags.

It was a long and drab final walk down Judson Avenue, checking out the dairy building one last time and find it closed at 9:00, along with any hope of seeing another Sophie sighting.  From there I walked past the haunted house, the International Bazaar, the food building, and the Leinie Lodge music stage, all generating next to no sightings and leaving me considerably behind schedule with only about an hour and 15 minutes of fetish time left.  I didn’t have much hope of sightings walking the east side, at least until I got to the grandstand, but instead walking that route led me to my best sighting of the night.  A trio of 17ish girls was walking towards me, two of whom had freshly lit cigarettes smoldering between their fingers.  Sightings #140 and #141 were about to light up a night that had been a disappointment up to that point.  Two of the girls (and one of the smokers) were either black, Latino, or mixed race, but the girl that made my heart melt the second I laid eyes on her was this dark brunette cutie who was every bit as wholesome and sweet-looking as the brunette from the beer gardens earlier (#129) except about four years younger.  She was decked out in a black tanktop and high-riding white shorts, and as quickly as the three girls were booking it eastward, I had to follow behind to catch this sighting and got a bird’s eye view of her ass in those white shorts.  Ordinarily I prefer shorts that ride lower as the hip-covering waistline has a retro feel that I had hoped would stay stuck in the early 90s, but I must say this girl was really rocking the look.  She had a little junk in the trunk too, something that works on some girls but doesn’t work on others.  For her, it worked as those high-riding white shorts bulged out at her asscheeks and crested just above her smooth thighs in a way that got me all kinds of excited particularly with that cigarette lingering inches away from the shorts in her left hand.  Hard as I tried to pay attention to the friends, I just couldn’t take my eyes away from this girl and wished I had taken some effort to get a photo in even though the logistics would have been challenging to say the least……

So how was her smoking?  Just as her sweet high school girl image would suggest, she was just a baby, taking shallow rookie drags and exhaling adorably small bursts of smoky clouds a few seconds later.  I finally worked my way to her side to get a better look at her face and to study her style and was rewarded with a brief three-second dangle that came out of nowhere and suggested she may have been at least a little more experienced than I suspected, but quickly reverted to her cute rookie smoking performance.  The three girls were cutting through the center of the street and appeared to be heading towards a food stand.  The friend finished off her cigarette and surrendered the butt to the pavement and I feared the sighting was seconds from concluding for the star of the sighting too, and further lamenting that such a great sighting had no real storyline…..but I was wrong.  The three girls arrived at a pizza stand and were placing an order….and my cute little teen brunette was still smoking her cigarette.  A middle-aged male was at the window taking the girls’ orders and was looking straight at my brunette cutie as she took a drag from her cigarette and exhaled in the general direction of his stand, all without batting an eyelash.  In the two minutes or so that the girls were standing there waiting on their orders, the brunette’s beautiful face lit up with a girlish giggle at one juncture right after the guy in the food stand was talking to her, indicating that he may have seized the opportunity to flirt with this smelly little sexpot.  Two more drags ensued with exhales that she made no effort to direct away from the food stand.  She tossed the cigarette to the pavement right in front of the stand and crushed it out, and then a minute or so later they got their pizza and were on their way.  I approached the pizza stand from the side and IDed her discarded butt as a Marlboro Light.  While I’m still kicking myself for not attempting even a dark, blurry photo of this one, it nonetheless gave me the pick-me-up I needed to get through the remaining hour knowing that I had scored that homerun for the night.

I typically dedicate the overwhelming majority of my final hour at the fair to the beer gardens block and the area around the grandstand because that’s where the sightings tend to congregate after 9:00, and last night was no exception.  At the exact same berm just north of the designated smoking area by the beer gardens where I scored my best sighting of evening last weekend, another hottie with a cigarette was sitting next to a nonsmoking boyfriend this Saturday night.  Sighting #148 didn’t have the explosive IT factor or dramatic smoking style of last week’s blond, but she was an extremely attractive mid-20s long-haired brunette in a tanktop and (I believe) jean shorts that were regrettably draped in a sweatshirt tied around her waist, but even without seeing her shorts I was dazzled by her spectacular legs on full display the way she was sitting, and with dim lighting from afar given them a sleek illumination that made the image hard to forget.  I tried to get a pic but it was too dark to appreciate, even though you can still see how nice her legs are.  The boyfriend sat to her right sans a cigarette while the girl puffed away and filled their mutual airspace with exhaust as I observed, having to restrain myself from reaching out and caressing those legs myself, something I doubt the boyfriend would have appreciated.  I like Camel Crush Bolds because they’re so easy to identify even from a distance with that bright blue ring around the filter, and I was sitting right next to her and easily recognized its markings as she took her final three or four drags from it and crushed it out on the pavement.

Time was slipping away as the 10:00 hour approached but I wanted to make one more half loop to the south side and the International Bazaar before the end of the night, and doing so walked into a trigger-tripping sighting that was unfortunately all too brief.  As I walked past the long-ago closed dairy building, I spotted what looked like a bachelorette party with a dozen or so early-to-mid 20s gals, one of whom was wearing a veil indicating she would soon be a bride.  None were smoking on my first pass but I made a mental note of them, walking to the Bazaar and coming up largely empty before turning around and heading back to where the wedding party emerged.  Now the young ladies were in motion, en route to the southeast gate to exit, and none of them were smoking.  Just as I was about to concede defeat, I saw a trio of laggards at the back of the pack, all wielding freshly lit cigarettes to become Sightings #154, #155, and #156.  All three were attractive but the girls on the left and right side were knockouts, wholesome honeys in short shorts who did not look like smokers.  Unfortunately, they were all making a bee line to the exits so I knew this sighting would only last as long as the 25-yard walk to the gate.  I walked to their side and got in on some vintage bubbleheaded girl talk that fit the ladies’ image far more than did their cigarettes.  Two of the three got drags in during this brief walk and the image of the three of them with glowing red cigarettes approaching this exit was very powerful, and even more so because there was a fairgrounds cop standing at the gate and these gals were bantering with typical girl talk while obliviously approaching the gate with cigarettes illegally in hand, ultimately walking right past the cop with their contraband tobacco paraphernalia.  Luckily for them, the cop didn’t say a word as they exited the fairgrounds behind the rest of their group with their cigarettes.  Unluckily for me, he didn’t detain these hotties in the fairgrounds so I could get a full sighting from them because two of the three were some of the prettiest faces I’d seen all night.

I was down to my last 20 minutes or so and was making a final pass by the outside gates of the grandstand, where I was rewarded with one of my most intimate, one-on-one sightings in years.  Sitting completely by herself on an isolated bench was this gorgeous dark brunette who had an order of fried pickles to her left side and a freshly lit cigarette in her right hand.  The bench was fairly wide so I was able to sit on the other side of it without invading her space and did so, giving myself a front-row seat to Sighting #161, a beautiful girl who would turn out to be a fantastic smoker.  She was a tanned, mid-20s brunette with long dark brown hair wearing a very low-cut white blouse and this stunning pair of gold shorts with a lacy pattern that looked more like a cargo net than an article of clothing. Her seating position was in a spot with just the perfect lighting to help me pull off a duo of outstanding photos, one of her in mid-drag.   I had originally hoped for a smoking while eating sighting as there were plenty of fried pickles left in the bucket next to her, but apparently she decided the time for eating was over and the time for smoking couldn’t be delayed any longer.  Judging from her fantastic drags, that cigarette was really hitting the spot as the pacing was perfect, with solid five-second draws and just the right level of cloud cover from her ensuing exhales spilling from both mouth and nose.  She may have sensed out of the corner of her eye that I was watching but I was doing a good job of pretending I was too distracted by the music from the Avett Brothers who were still performing in the grandstand…..

We were fairly isolated the entire time and I felt as if I was being treated to the smoking fetish equivalent of a back room lap dance as she smoked, but a couple of young black guys who worked for the fair in some capacity broke the isolation by walking past, and one of the guys looked my smoker babe over and uttered a soft-spoken “daaamn!” observing her elegance and beauty, and just maybe how hot she looked with a cigarette too.  I was more than happy to share my own private smoker girl with these guys for a moment so long as they kept walking as they did.  A couple more drags ensued before she crushed the cigarette out on the edge of the bench and dropped it to the pavement.  I had expected the girl was sitting there waiting for a boyfriend to come back with beer or something.  Certainly she was too good to be at the fair by herself and her clothing definitely made clear she was not there working, so imagine my surprise when she stood up with the half-full container of fried pickles, tossed it in the trash, and walked away, ironically leaving her cigarette on the ground even as she threw the leftover food in the garbage.  It would have been intriguing to follow her a bit to see if she was eventually meeting with someone but every indication was that she was not.  Getting a butt ID on her discarded cork filter was more important to me though, which I verified as a Marlboro Menthol moments after her departure.

With about 10 minutes left on the night it seemed likely that would be my final extra base hit of the 2015 fair season, but believe it or not there would be one more on my final pass by the beer gardens.  I came across an attractive young couple in their early-to-mid 20s and quickly spotted the guy had a cigarette in hand, but then noticed his very attractive blond girlfriend, who looked like a mid-80s Laura Dern decked out in a summery black flower print dress, had an unlit cigarette between her fingers.  While I could already count her as Sighting #163, I wanted it to become official and see her light up the cigarette but was concerned she might drag her feet so long that my departure time would come sooner than her light-up.  The bad news is that it did…but the good news is that she still smoked.  She clearly was a little inebriated at this point in the evening and as she walked with the boyfriend, she held her hand out his direction which I assumed was her request for his lighter, but she really wanted his cigarette.  Ah, so she was gonna use his cigarette to light her own, I thought as she claimed possession of the cigarette.  Nope….she just took a drag from his cigarette while holding her own unlit one in her left hand.  She handed the cigarette back to the boyfriend, but 10 seconds later stretched out her hand again greedily requesting another drag from his while continuing to squirrel her own cigarette away for later.  It made me wonder if the guy got to smoke any of his own cigarette or if his hot little girlfriend stole the whole thing.  With just a couple of minutes until I had to meet my parents, it was time for me to go, unfortunately denying me the ending of a storyline sighting that could have cracked my year-end greatest hits list.  The lighting was again conducive to a final pic that turned out surprisingly well, and from there I set off to meet the family on extremely sore feet, scoring one final and unmemorable sighting on the way.

Without question, Day 1 at the 2015 Minnesota State Fair exceeded Day 2 which sometimes happens but never before in my six years of going to the MNSF two full days have I gotten lower overall numbers on Labor Day weekend than the previous weekend.  I originally justified it on the grounds that the crowd seemed smaller, and I had a friend who was also at the fair yesterday through 4-H who also thought this Saturday’s crowd seemed smaller than last week’s, but we were both wrong as there were actually 23,000 more people at the fair yesterday according to attendance numbers!  It didn’t really add up but whatever the case the demographics and weather were not as favorable.  I’ll know in a year if last night’s 164 sightings on a busy Saturday is the new normal.  If it is, that wouldn’t be the end of world but is definitely going the wrong direction.

Overall though, the Minnesota State Fair was rock solid again for 2015 in terms of quality, delivering a stable variety of extra-base hits and a handful of genuine classics amongst the 347 total sightings this year.  Combined, my fairs produced 736 sightings in 2015, down from 790 last year even though that isn’t a direct apples-to-apples comparison having substituted a full day at the Iowa State Fair last summer with a day at the less traveled Missouri State Fair this summer.  I’m satisfied with this year’s haul even though I don’t think it was as strong as most recent years, but I should nonetheless have no problem cranking out a top-25 list full of worthy contenders.  My peak years were 2010 and 2011 but the smoking culture has changed since then, and I’m mentally prepared for the likelihood of diminishing returns in the years ahead.  However, if it occurs in as slow of motion as I’ve seen in the past few years, I should still have several good years of fetishing left.  I hope so anyway.  For now, I’m riding high on the vapors of the fair fetish season that just ended, but am about to crash-land into the wasteland of September where the good times come to a very abrupt end.  The good news about growing older though is that time moves much more quickly, so there will be another fetish season right around the corner.






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2015 Minnesota State Fair, Day 1

Still the king!  A decade ago I added the Iowa State Fair to my annual August fetish tour and just last week I tried out Missouri’s state fair.  But the great Minnesota Get-Together which I’ve been fetishing at unofficially since 1993 and officially since 1998 proved once again yesterday why it is king.  It was no record-setting day quantity or quality-wise but I scored 183 sightings during my 13-hour stay and I venture to say there’s no other public venue around capable of producing that many sightings in the better part of a single day.  This number bests the hauls of both days last year where I scored 178 and 182 sightings on my respective days attending.  The day was by far the strongest in the late afternoon and early evening with a very steady drumbeat of extra base hits and a trio of legendary moments.  I guess I had my share of extra base hits in the evening too but most years I score at least one epic or near epic in the evening and didn’t have that last night.  It was an above-average day at the fair though and I continue to be flabbergasted that as many people are buying $8 a pack Minnesota cigarettes as are.

I always ride in with my parents which continues to be both convenient and detrimental at the same time.  The line to get into the parking lot was much longer than usual this year, presumably because they won’t let you use prepaid tickets to get into the fair lot anymore and have to pay with cash.  We got in the gates a little after 9 which is earlier than I’d typically prefer but not too out of line.  The “mostly sunny” forecast was slow getting there so I was nervous walking around in 55-degree midmorning gloom that it would be sweatshirts and jeans rather than tanktops and shorts but the girls largely cooperated.  I took my usual “first route” upon walking into the grounds, traipsing from one “designated smoking area” (yes they’re still there in Minnesota) to another.  As is usually the case, one of the grandstand workers was my Sighting #1, a late 20s ponytailed brunette in a gray sweatshirt and black shorts smoking an all-white.  Nothing overly memorable but put me on the board right away which is always a relief as some days it can take up to an hour to get that first sighting.

Morning sightings came at a faster clip than average and very close to where my first sighting of the day occurred came Sightings #4 and #5, this duo of wholesome early 20s gals who approached the berm on the east side of the grandstand while I sat nearby and were fidgeting around in their purses.  Kind of surprising to me that they’d be 9 a.m. smokers but a pack of cigarettes is exactly what came out.  The blond in the duo in a white blouse and black leggings was both more attractive and the heavier smoker while the redhead in the gray sweatshirt and black shorts didn’t seem all that into it, going so far as to retire the cigarette into her purse after about three drags.  The blond smoked the whole thing though, producing impressive clouds with her exhales for a nice five-minute show that I got a few distant pics of. There’s something very sexy about girls in leggings generally but when girls smoke in them it really gets my juices flowing.  Unfortunately, the blond crushed her cigarette against the berm and approached the nearest garbage can with it, denying me the butt ID.

The morning sightings continued to roll in at a more regular pace than usual with some younger girls than expected.  One location that has regular become a popular “smoke break” destination in recent years is the isolated alleyway between the sheep building and the beer gardens.  A wholesome young couple in their 20s was smoking there yesterday morning with the guy sitting on a ledge while Sighting #10, his ponytailed dark brunette girlfriend in a white T-shirt and dark blue jeans stood in front of him smoking away at hers.  I snapped a couple of solid pics, including a nice shot of her in the middle of an exhale, but once again they crushed the cigarettes out and tossed them into the dumpster to deny me a butt ID, an unfortunate recurring theme especially in the daytime hours.

Next to impress came at one of the smoking areas on the north side of the grounds where I spotted Sighting #16, a mother-daughter duo.  Mom was in her late 40s and unattractive and even the mid-20s daughter was by no means a 10, but it was still nice to behold the steady drumbeat of drags and exhales coming from this familial duo, with the daughter in a pink sweatshirt and jean shorts puffing away regularly and producing some impressively cloudy exhales.  The cigarette went into the ashtray pretty quickly and the daughter walked across the street where the presumed husband was waiting with a wagon with two kids inside, presumably hers.

At all of my fairs, the midway has slumped a bit in recent years in terms of the number of sightings it produces and while it wasn’t overly productive yesterday either, my first pass through the midway right around noon did produce a memorable image in the designated smoking area near the bathrooms with Sightings #21 and #22, two mid-20s plain janes wearing summer dresses.  Both women were light brunette and only modestly attractive, but they also didn’t really seem like smokers, particularly with those dresses.  I was only able to get one crooked photo before the women retired their cigarettes and walked into the midway gathering up with an extended group that included some older people that were probably family.

Also occurring right after noon was Sighting #25, probably my best sighting of the early hours of the day, a mother-daughter sighting near the horticulture building.  Mom looked late 40s or early 50s and definitely had the weathered features of a long-time heavy smoker while the daughter was a beautiful late 20s dark blond with a sexy body draped in a black tanktop and (my favorite) white shorts, that helped showcase some very nice young female flesh.  Both females were smoking in the presence of the blond’s boyfriend who was not smoking.  The boyfriend and girlfriend were conversing and the girlfriend was explaining in a nice husky smoker’s voice that “mom wanted to come even earlier….at like 8:00” in a moment I could relate to coming to the fair with parents who like to get there early.  I snapped several pics and watched from two vantage points as she consumed the entire cigarette with the stylings of a long-time smoker including deep drags with solid hold times and modestly generous exhales that indicated a fair amount of the smoke was clinging to her lungs.  She finished the cigarette before mom and dropped it to the grass, finally giving me my first opportunity for a butt ID as soon as they left.  They did just that about 30 seconds later when mom finished her cigarette.  Daughter’s discarded all-white was a Camel Light Menthol.

I’d score again a few minutes later in the designated smoking area east of the grandstand, far and away the MVP of August 29, 2015.  A young couple sat on a bench with beer and cigarette in hand and the 20-something brunette girl couldn’t have been cuter.  Sighting #27 had long dark brown hair flowing onto a maroon sweatshirt with short black shorts below the waist advertising a pair of long, smooth legs crossed on this bench full of mostly unattractive middle-aged smokers.  The girl looked quite a bit like my early 20s cousin Leah except she had this adorable pouty and hangdog look on her face that only seemed to get poutier when she took her impressive drags from the cigarette, pulling in impressive amounts of smoke and then exhaling them in massive clouds.  I got a few pics but they’re from further away than I’d prefer so you can’t really appreciate that unintentional Eeyore look on her cute face.  I saw a half dozen drags standing there before she took her huge final drag and then hocked up a huge lugie which she spit to the grass in plain view of the boyfriend.  She stood up and sadly tossed the butt into the overflowing community ashtray denying me the butt ID, but the upside was that I finally got to admire the midsection of her impressive body in those black shorts.

An extended stretch of blandness ensued in the next hour or so and while I was ticking off sightings at a decent clip, it wasn’t until I returned to the exact same spot at the east side grandstand smoking area a little after 2:00 before I scored my next extra base hit with Sightings #41 and #42.  I got in on this one from the very beginning when I spotted a trio of 20-somethings standing in the center of the smoking area and fidgeting around in their purses.  Was I gonna get three for the price of one here?!?!?  No, but as Meatloaf once said, two out of three ain’t bad.  A dark blond in a black T-shirt and jean shorts and badass-looking sunglasses was the first to extract a pack of Marlboro Smooths from her purse, and the best-looking girl of the three, the platinum blond next to her wearing a black tanktop and medium-blue denim cutoffs began taking a pack of Marlboro Light Menthols out of her purse mere seconds later.  The third blond in the mix who was also attractive didn’t smoke, but there was still plenty to admire in this scene and I was snapping my camera furiously picking up shots of unlit dangles and lightups as the girls drug their feet getting their cigarettes lit.  The two smokers were both pretty equal in skill but the original girl was slower as she was distracted by her phone.  This made it even easier for me to focus my attention on that platinum blond who stood out in this crowd in the first place with that pretty face and those smooth, perfect legs flowing underneath the frayed denim on her shorts.  Her pacing was quicker and she was easier to watch from both of the vantage points I stood at, with some great exhales.  The sighting’s ending was a mixed bag as my platinum blond finished her cigarette and dropped the butt to the grass, ignoring the nearby ashtray and garbage can.  I knew she was smoking a Marlboro Light Menthol having seen the pack but was still gleeful for the polluted butt….until the other smoker girl actually knelt down and picked up her friend’s discarded butt and threw it in the trash.  Grrr!  And needless to say the other smoker tossed her own Marlboro Smooth butt in the trash when she finished a minute or so later.  Despite the bummer of an ending, it was a solid extra-base hit that would set the stage for a great second half of the afternoon.

It was nonetheless a fairly slow march to sustained greatness and the next memorable moment didn’t come until Sighting #52, and even that was mainly just a strong single as I was walking in the general area near the east side of the grandstand and spotted a wholesome-looking light brunette with a long braid hanging over her left shoulder holding a half-eaten corn dog in one hand and a cigarette in the other.  It was a nice image and I was hoping for a smoking while eating sighting.  Apparently she was done eating on the corn dog though and the cigarette was her dessert.  She was in the company of a nonsmoking boyfriend and looked early 30s, wearing a black tanktop and dark jeans.  She certainly didn’t look like a smoker but judging from the three very deep drags I saw her take she was a serious player in the tobacco consumption world.  She finished the cigarette pretty quickly after my arrival and, once again, crushed out the butt on the pavement and tossed it into the garbage denying me a butt ID before she and the boyfriend wandered away.

The momentum continued as I headed to the northwest side, which as of last year became the site where the shuttle buses unload, meaning far more foot traffic than there used to be.  Heading southward as I crossed paths with them was a young couple that included Sighting #54, a dark blond with sunglasses wearing a green tanktop under a see-through black mesh top and jean shorts.  Once again, she was smoking a cigarette and he was not while walking through a sea of humanity en route to the midway on this very crowded section of the grounds.  I followed closely snapping a few pictures from behind and the side as she broke the law puffing away on this forbidden part of the grounds.  Nothing memorable about her style but her face was intriguing.  Everything about the way she carried herself suggested she was in mid-20s but her face looked about 10 years older.  It might be a case where years of heavy smoking has aged her because I don’t think she was over 30.  Anyway, she got a few yards into the midway before dropping the cigarette and crushing it out, providing me an actual opportunity for a butt ID which was rare for me yesterday.  It was a Marlboro Menthol.

I headed back to the cement-heavy alleyway between the beer gardens block and the sheep barn to find a delightful mystery that needed be solved.  Sitting on the bottom of an obscure flight of stairs leading to the back entry of one of the beer gardens bars was Sighting #56, a hot mid-20s blond wearing sunglasses, a white and green tanktop and short medium blue jean shorts that even from her seated position I could tell concealed an awesome ass.  She was sitting there all by herself drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette.  At first I thought she was an employee on a break, but if she was an employee she’d be wearing a uniform of some sort for the bar and she wouldn’t be out drinking a beer.  Maybe she was waiting for somebody, but why would she wait at this obscure location?  Whatever the source of her isolated cigarette break, I sure was enjoying watching it even though it was further away than I’d prefer especially for photo quality.  I could still see plenty though and it was nice seeing this sexy blond puffing away.  I was able to watch the majority of her cigarette and she stubbed it out on the cement and let it stay there when she finished it, yet continued to sit there as if waiting.  While I waited, I took notice of a young couple sitting to my right for a cigarette break of their own.  Sighting #57 was an attractive 30-ish blond in a white tanktop and dark jeans and gave me something to watch while hoping for the mystery of the lonely blond to be solved.  A couple of minutes passed before two people approached…..a blond daughter who looked about three as well as a late 20s/early 30s boyfriend/husband who seemed considerably beneath her.  She had decided to wait for them on this obscure back alley step…for some reason.  I’m assuming the little girl was her daughter but it was rather shocking that a child passed through this blond’s very perfect body, a body I was able to admire even more thoroughly as she got up with the husband and daughter and walked away.  After watching her ass wiggle out of my line of vision, I wandered over to the step where she sat and IDed her discarded cigarette butt as a Marlboro Ultra Light.

I walked around to the front side of the beer gardens block and the hits kept coming, specifically with Sighting #58, one of my better finds of the day and easily one of the prettiest and most wholesome girls.  She was a petite 21ish dark brunette whose long hair came out of the back of her “Army” hat in a ponytail.  Her face was extremely pretty and wholesome and her outfit of a white tanktop and pair of extremely short jean shorts fit with the rest of the look.  She sat there looking at her phone next to her boyfriend with her cigarette protruding from her fingers.  The boyfriend wasn’t smoking at the time but I’d later discover he did in fact smoke.  Whatever the case, a nonsmoking blond female friend took a photo of them per the couple’s request and little did she know I was taking a photo of her myself with my own camera phone and captured some very good ones of her studying her phone with her cigarette held next to the phone, and one of them while she’s in mid-drag.  Her smoking style wasn’t distinctive but still incredibly cute seeing this adorable face consume these carcinogens so willingly and then release them in tight straight-ahead exhales that came mostly from her mouth.  I could tell from the markings on the cigarette’s blond filter that it was a Camel Turkish Royal and it’s a good thing I did because once again, she stubbed out the cigarette on the cement and then tossed it in the trash can before she got up to leave with the boyfriend and the blond nonsmoking friend.  I got a solid double from her and was pretty excited, and you never know….we just might be seeing her again later in the writeup.

Next came a productive trip to the fairgrounds’ east side.  I was walking past the Leinie Lodge free stage where some band was performing and looked to the back of the crowd to see if there were any smokers gathering to sneak a cigarette.  As soon as I looked that direction I saw a late 20s platinum blond in a white tanktop and black shorts dangling an unlit cigarette from her lips.  I rapidly crossed the street for a better look and noticed she was part of a group of six with three guys and three girls.  A pack of Marlboro Lights was passed around the group and being rapidly depleted, with another ponytailed blond in a red T-shirt and tight black leggings also firing up a cigarette.  I already had Sightings #60 and #61 but greedy old Mark was really getting excited when the pack of Marlboro Lights was then handed to the prettiest and most wholesome girl in the group, another ponytailed blond in a green tanktop and jeans.  I was about to get a three-for-one…or so it seemed.  Unfortunately, she was just reading the pack.  Huh?!?!  She looked the pack over and handed it back to one of the other male or female smokers in the group.  And then she got her hands on it again!!  She looked it over and handed it back without extracting a cigarette.  Such a weird scenario and I have no idea what she would be reading on the pack unless it was the Surgeon General’s report.  The six of them formed a tight huddle that ultimately made it hard to watch them, but I caught a handful of drags by the two female smokers.  My camera once again lulled me into a false sense of security as I figured I snapped at least a half dozen shots of the group but only ended up with one photo showing the two smoker girls’ asses.  There’s nothing wrong with that but I was disappointed I didn’t get more.

There’s a lush designated smoking area full of benches and shrubbery on the east side of the fairgrounds across the street from the Leinie Lodge.  I caught a duo of modestly attractive late teen girls smoking there before heading to the nearby bathroom.  I decided it would be a good idea after the bathroom to check that smoking area out one more time before I left just to make sure I wasn’t missing anything, and it was a good call as two smoking couples were there puffing away.  The early 20s brunette girls were both wholesome as hell, dressed for the image to boot.  Sighting #64 had very long dark brown hair flowing onto a reddish flower-print dress.  She looked a lot like this heavy-smoking Emilie girl I dated last year, only without Emilie’s gross tattoos.  Sighting #65 was even more memorable though, with lighter brown hair, a black flower-print blouse,  jean shorts, and a very wholesome face full of character.  I could tell from the filters that both girls were smoking Camel Crush Bolds and once again it was a good thing I saw this because they dropped their butts in the overflowing community ashtray and denied me a formal butt ID.  That sighting only lasted 3-4 drags but I would luck out and see the same group of four on the north side of the grounds only an hour later, all of them smoking again at one of the north side’s designated smoking areas.  I watched from closer range and watched the second half of both girls’ cigarettes.  Their styles were mostly average but they really stood out sitting on the curb in their wholesome outfits smoking.  Once again, they deposited their butts into the community ashtray but the cigarettes had the unmistakable markings of Camel Crush Bolds.

From there it was onto the grandstand area and that very lucrative smoking area on the east side of the grandstand.  I had scored quite a few “doubles” already yesterday and was about to score another one with Sightings #68 and #69 sitting on the grass in the middle of the smoking area.  Both girls were mid-20s and attractive, one a blond and one a ponytailed redhead, but the blond in the duo totally dominated my attention as she had a Hollywood look about her exploding with IT factor.  It wasn’t that she was drop-dead gorgeous but there was just something about her bleach blond hair, sunglasses, low-cut black tanktop with a sorority name on it, and turquoise shorts while sitting Indian style that I couldn’t take my eyes off of.  Seeing her puff on her cigarette made the image that much more memorable.  I got to see her smoke at least half of the cigarette.  The friend, who was wearing a black tanktop and jean shorts, had a style that was about on par with the blond and I’d occasionally have the opportunity to check out her smoking as well but it was hard to top this blond.  When she finished her cigarette, I grimaced again as she stood up about to drop her own butt and her friend’s into the nearby community ashtray, and that gave me one more lasting image to walk away from the sighting with…..the grossed-out look on her face as she dropped those cigarette butts into the ashtray with hundreds of other cigarettes.  It was almost like an epiphany for this girl how gross her own habit was as that “ewwww!” look on her face after seeing this ashtray lasted at least 20 seconds.  I’m sure as gross as she found it to stare into all those cigarette butts, it didn’t stop her from lighting up again at another designated smoking area before she left the fair that day.  After all, she’s addicted!

I was heading to the smoking area on the west side of the grandstand from there and got one of two crushing heartbreakers of the day.  Out of the corner of my left eye I spotted this trio of early 20s girls that included a chubby but still sort of cute light brunette, a very sexy and shapely light brunette, and a hot petite blond in a little black dress.  The blond, who couldn’t have been taller than about 5’1″, was fidgeting around in her purse when I saw her extract a Black ‘N’ Mild tipped cigar that was out of its package.  Oh sweet Jesus, I thought!  My streak of top-tier cigar sightings every fair season was about to continue into 2015!  At least until three seconds later when she put the cigar back into her purse and kept walking.  Gahhhh!  She was saving it for later.  I walked over to her group just in case and doing so I saw the least attractive chubby girl of the group was smoking a cigarette, making her a nominal Sighting #70, but the two hotties were at least at the moment not smoking.  I strongly considered following them to their destination to see if the cigar would get smoked but it seemed like the kind of high-stakes gamble that could lead me seriously astray if hours went by before she lit it up.  I retreated, hoping I would stumble into her later with burning cigar in hand, but I wouldn’t.  Now I’m down to one more day at the fair where I have any chance at continuing my streak of top-25-worthy cigar sightings every year.

I was due to catch a break after that and was about to get one….sort of!  I finally made it to the smoking area on the west side of the grandstand and as I encircled the perimeter of the large cement structure I spotted this attractive 19-20ish brunette in a pink T-shirt and dark skinny jeans with an unlit cigarette in her hand.  Unfortunately, by the time I got there I was befuddled when she no longer had a cigarette in her hand.  Her boyfriend was next to her holding a lighter while the middle-aged gal seated in front of her who I presumed to be her mother was smoking.  Well this was odd!  She was standing there talking on the phone and I began studying her a bit.  While she was pretty, she didn’t necessarily stand out as anything special….but there was something about her that intrigued me, and that intrigue intensified when I spotted the pack of Marlboro No. 27s stuffed in the back pocket of her tight-fitting skinny jeans.  Apparently girly was the one carrying around the pack that everybody in the family was using, or at least for herself and mom (dad was there too but not smoking).  Now it was just a matter of waiting out this damned phone call and hoping that she lit up too.  Little did I know the phone call would produce the most electric context of any sighting of the day as suddenly the tone of her voice changed to that of a sweet young girl saying “Heyyy grandpa!  I’m doing good….I’m at the Fair!”   Hot damn!  This barely legal smoker girl was on the phone with her grandpa and speaking to him as you’d expect any other 19-year-old girl would speak to gramps.  I wasn’t able to hear anything else in the conversation in the next few seconds before she was nudged by the boyfriend to have a cigarette…and he led her up a flight of stairs on the grandstand structure for reasons I couldn’t understand.  She certainly looked as though she was over 18 so I don’t think he wanted her to hide because she was an underage smoker.  Whatever the case, she removed that pack of Marlboro 27s out of her jeans pocket, extracted only one, and let it dangle unlit from her mouth as she ascended the stairs following the boyfriend, officially becoming Sighting #72…..

I knew it would be reasonably obvious that I was following them up the stairs but I had to take the risk.  I got to the top of the flight and watched the girl lighting her cigarette and releasing one of the most substantial quantities of smoke from her mouth and nose that I’ve ever seen off of a light-up, and I caught the tail end of that exhale in a snapshot I snuck in at the top of the stairs….with smoke spilling out of her face and the cigarette still dangling from her lips.  And all this while she was still carrying on the phone conversation with her grandpa.  I wonder if grandpa has any idea that his sweet-talking granddaughter is a smoker, let alone smoking while chatting with him.  If her blackened respiratory system keeps spewing cigarette smoke in that volume he’ll probably be able to smell it through the phone!!  I knew I was in a conspicuous spot and was very conservative in shifting my eyes her direction from where I stood, pretending to overlook the grounds one story below.  I’d catch two more deep drags and otherworldly exhales blasting out of her mouth and nose before the boyfriend nudged her to go back down the stairs and she followed him.  What was going on here?  Did he have me figured out?  I never made eye contact with him but didn’t suspect he spotted me eyeballing his girlfriend.  Whatever the case, I was in risky terrain here but had to see more and gingerly descended the stairs to see her and the boyfriend leaning against the railing with their backs to me (mostly) and I sat down halfway down the steps hoping to salvage what I could of this show.  I’d catch two more drags and huge volumes of smoke exhaled from her mouth….before the boyfriend nudged her once again and they walked away yet again.  I wasn’t gonna push my luck any further here and just sat there on the stairs for a minute pretending to be texting.  And it hit me that this boyfriend who was carrying a lighter and leading his girlfriend to smoke a cigarette never got hold of that cigarette or any cigarette for himself.  Was he a fetisher who just liked to watch his girlfriend smoke?  And did he immediately realize the signs in me since he apparently had me figured out right off the bat?  So many mysteries but I felt gypped for missing the majority of this first-rate show from a girl I identified as something special at the outset.  Even with a short sighting though, the context of the phone call with grandpa, the rest of the family dynamic where mom has to request a cigarette from her daughter, and those hugely smoky exhales combined to make this my third best sighting of the day.

I figured after likely being caught twice stalking the same girl by a potentially possessive boyfriend, it might be in my best interest to get out of that spot and drifted back to the smoking area on the east side of the grandstand.  After getting robbed out of greatness for two sightings in a row, I deserved a break, damn it!  And I would get that break when I approached the east side grandstand smoking area and spotted a very young couple sitting on a bench.  Now this bench was kind of on the edge of the smoking area so I didn’t want to get my hopes up here.  They may have simply not realized this was a bench in the smoking area and were just sitting down to relax, I told myself attempting to hold expectations down looking at this wholesome couple where at least the girl was unequivocally underage.  Having braced myself for disappointment, imagine my elation when the boyfriend produced a pack of Marlboro 27s….and then his little blond girlfriend in the neon orange tanktop and ultra-short jean shorts dipped into her bag and extracted a cigarette from her own pack.  Sighting #73 was gonna be something very special and I had a perfect vantage point as she placed the unlit cigarette in her youthful mouth and lit up.  If the previous boyfriend was hyperaware of my presence, this couple hadn’t a clue as I was capturing photo after photo after photo of them from close range.  The girl struck me right away as a cutie but surprised me over the course of the sighting how much character she had in her face with some very adorable and expressive responses to the boyfriend’s conversation in between drags on her cigarette, and a couple of my photos captured those responses.  And when I wasn’t looking at her face I was checking out that lower body where her jean shorts were so short that the vast majority of her bare leg and even her lower ass was touching the plastic cover of that bench.  I hope that boyfriend of hers had the vaguest hint of a clue how lucky he is!

After a couple of minutes standing next to them and watching, I decided I had just as good of a vantage point sitting on the nearby curb and looking at them head-on, giving me another spot to snap pics from a different angle.  As for her smoking style, she was a rookie of course.  There was no telling how long she’s been at it but her drags were modest and her exhales were fairly shallow, but that made her immersion in the smoking lifestyle at such a young age when it’s so frowned upon by society that much more adorable.  Studying her face in photos today I can’t imagine she’s older than 16 but perhaps she’s 17 I suppose.  And unlike the last sighting, I got a “farrow-to-finish” sighting here, watching her smoke the whole cigarette from light-up to crushing the cigarette out on the grass below her foot.  Unfortunately when the couple didn’t get up for a couple of minutes after finishing their cigarettes I got impatient and walked away briefly, checking out some other nearby areas and planning to return for an official butt ID.  I was gone for less than two minutes but the young couple had cleared out with the bench now occupied by another.  By the time I was actually able to sit at that bench more than an hour later it was impossible to identify which butt was the blond teen’s.  Butt ID or not, this was the single best daytime sighting I’ve scored in one of the designated smoking areas after three years of navigating.  The fact that a girl this young and cute is comfortable enough to smoke in such a public spot gives me a smidgen of hope for the future of teen smoking, and I suddenly had my second best sighting of the day only moments after my third best!

A bonanza like this in mid-to-late afternoon called for a trip to the north side of the fairgrounds which can sometimes be sparser in terms of crowds but has delivered some first-rate sightings of its own over the years, including one just last year.  My afternoon north side run yesterday wouldn’t yield any Hall of Famers yesterday but it did produce a couple of hooligan smoker girls walking in forbidden areas with contraband cigarettes.  First and most impressive was Sighting #77, a petite mid-20s blond in a white blouse and black skirt wielding a half-smoked cigarette while her boyfriend/husband pushed a stroller with their child inside.  I followed long enough to breathe in a couple of her exhales and snap a decent side photo.  I was disappointed though when the boyfriend got his hands on the cigarette and finished it off.  Almost immediately afterwards, a less attractive 20-something blond was traveling southward with cigarette in hand and I walked in Sighting #78’s direction for nearly a full block before she came to a stop in front of a food vendor stand where she apparently worked and finished her cigarette outside.  She wasn’t attractive enough to deserve a writeup really but her chutzpah in being a fair employee smoking in this forbidden north side area impressed me.

I went back to the beer gardens block after returning from my north side run and spotted Sighting #82, a late 20s or early 30s dark blond in a white T-shirt and jean shorts smoking a cigarette in a group of three nonsmoking guys as they sipped their beers.  They were all in a pretty tight huddle while talking and I was impressed with her chutzpah smoking in their presence so unashamedly.  I got a couple quick photos and moved on, but I’d see her smoking again on the grounds about an hour later.

It was around 5:30 at this point which frequently is the time of day when smoker sightings at the Minnesota State Fair start really booming, particularly in close proximity to the beer gardens area, and I was about to get a very memorable triple play in the smoking area on the southeast side of the beer gardens that best represented the day’s sensory overload moment where there was more female smoking going on than I was able to fully process.  It all started when I encircled the berm that represents the official smoking area and discovered a 20-something couple who were both smoking.  Sighting #86 could not have possibly looked less like a smoker, with her ponytailed blond hair flowing onto her shoulderless white blouse with a long red dress below the waist.  And that face!  What a cutie.  I stood in front of her and snapped a couple of stealth photos before taking advantage of the opportunity to sit right next to her, where I got to bathe in her exhales and snap some very upclose photos, most of which were so close that some of her features got cut off but I still got her in mid-drag a couple of times.  There was nothing overly distinctive about her style but what an unexpected sweetheart to see putting a cigarette to her lips.  I was fully prepared to sit out this sighting to the end but then I looked to the edge of the alley to my right and spotted Sighting #87, a curly-haired light brunette in a pink blouse and jean shorts who inserted a cigarette into her mouth and then cut loose a rip-roaring high volume exhale that exploded out of her mouth and nose like a firework on the 4th of July.  I just had to get a better look at this!

I sort of abandoned the wholesome girl for the light brunette even though from where I was standing I’d still be able to see the wholesome girl finish off what was left of her cigarette on that berm.  For the time being though, I was laser-focused on this mid-to-late 20s light brunette with her intense and nicely paced five-second drags and fierce exhales, capturing a few pics of her and enjoying the hell out of the visuals as she filled several square feet in front of her face with a steady stream of air pollution.  I got about three minutes in on this sighting when I spotted out of the corner of my right eye yet another distraction in the form of a hot blond smoker girl.  This was just getting nuts!  And Sighting #88 represented the wardrobe Holy Grail for me as she was wearing a very nice fitting pair of white shorts along with a pink tanktop.  I was gonna have to abandon one great sighting in pursuit of the newest shiny object once again!   The new mid-20s platinum blond hottie was an aesthetic perfect game, looking a lot like this smoker friend of mine named Sarah did when she was in her prime.  She had this glowingly beautiful face as she stood next to three guy friends who were also smoking, and I captured her frontal profile in a great pic showing off her beaming smile and those nice-fitting white shorts framing her crotch gorgeously with smooth, well-toned legs underneath.  Her smoking style was fairly average but what a hottie and as she bantered with these three guy friends I was musing on whether one of them–or possibly all three!–were fucking her.  I stayed for the whole cigarette and got a couple of action shots.  I could see her cigarette was a Camel Light Menthol which was helpful since she threw the butt in the nearby smoking area’s ashtray when she was finished.  If you’re lucky you get one of these sensory overload moments on a given day at the Minnesota State Fair where you’re surrounded by greatness or are stumbling into it one after another for a brief period.  In this case, one trip to the beer gardens smoking area yielded a first-rate triple play with a wholesome girl, a high-quality smoker, and a sexpot blond in white shorts over the course of about 10 minutes.  That’s one productive trip to the beer gardens smoking area, my friends!

There was so much activity at that beer gardens smoking area that I made a second pass near there moments later where I stumbled into another young couple with an adorable smoker girl in Sighting #92.  For some reason they let these very high plants grow inside the circular berm at that smoking area and the people who chose to sit on the berm’s north side had to fight the plants as they sat, and none moreso than the adorable short-haired brunette in this couple whose head seemed to be getting slapped down by a giant plant where she sat.  Her half-amused, half-annoyed expression as she lit her cigarette and struggled through it while sitting there was very entertaining, and even more amusing was how her fruitless quest to get comfortable sitting there had her crossing and uncrossing her legs in the tiny black-and-white striped dress she was wearing, showing off a ton of thigh and making me wonder if I was gonna spy the promised land at some point.  I never did but got a couple of photos as she smoked her cigarette so restlessly.  The boyfriend sitting next to her smoking didn’t seem to have any struggles with finding a comfortable position sitting there which I’m sure made it all the more frustrating to the girl.  Her smoking style was fairly average but she was such a cutie and the main event of this show was her getting beaten up by this plant.  She finished the cigarette and threw the butt in the overflowing community ashtray directly in front of her before getting up to go to the bathroom.

I was buzzing pretty good at this point and attempted to head south towards the Coliseum when I spotted two couples with one smoker who happened to be Sighting #96.  She was a dark blond in an unusual-looking matching red top and shorts.  She was decently attractive but what made her most memorable was her presentation and her chutzpah illegally strutting through the fairgrounds with cigarette in hand.  She ended up walking down a very busy street in the center of the grounds and it was difficult to even follow her without losing her in the crowd let alone snap pics but I got a couple partial shots of her at least.  She intermittently took drags as she walked through this sea of people and I caught the tailwinds of a couple of her exhales.  I could see her butt was a cork filter but as slowly as she was smoking I wasn’t gonna hang around for a butt ID that might not happen anyway.  Once I arrived at the block that would lead me straight down to Judson Avenue’s smoking area where I had intended to go next in the first place I split apart from her…..and my timing could not have been more perfect.

In the past two years I’ve gotten a few solid sightings at the designated smoking area on Judson Avenue on the south side of the grounds but I hadn’t scored anything at all worth mentioning throughout the daytime hours yesterday until that very abruptly changed right around 6:00 last night when I approached the center of the smoking area and found my best sighting of the day.  Standing there in a blue T-shirt with a matching blue work hat with her hair coming out the back in a ponytail along with black shorts on the bottom and a freshly lit cigarette between her fingers was this unbelievably wholesome petite blond who looked underage.  It’s a little harder to tell these days as young girls always look younger than they used to and her diminutive size may have been playing tricks on me.  It’s possible she was 18 but my money would be on 16.  And best yet, the reason she was standing there all by herself smoking behind the ashtray was because she was a worker on a smoke break in the dairy building behind her.  I know this because it said “Dairy Goodness Produced with Pride” on her T-shirt….and there was an even more helpful nametag on that T-shirt that read “Sophie”.  What an adorable name for this underage smoking blond, a name that perfectly matched the face I had been looking for all day.  And on top of this killer presentation, the little girl had style too.  After every drag, she did the famous “gulp” style of ingestion with her cheeks puffing up like a blowfish before delivering the carcinogenic cocktail into her black little lungs.  And from out of her mouth came a moderate-sized exhale followed by a residual haze that flowed from her mouth and nose that was just impossibly sexy coming from such a precious face.  I got a couple of really good pics from the standing position and knew right away this sighting was something special, but things were about to get even better…..

A middle-aged woman was sitting on the edge of the cement base of a statue that serves as a makeshift bench in the smoking area, but she got up to leave when she finished her cigarette, leaving me a perfect wide-open seat just a few feet away from Sophie and an even better vantage point for close-up pics and her general smoking performance.  I got a new perspective from this position.  Her legs were obstructed from my view at my original vantage point but now I was able to see she had a black brace around her right knee indicating she had injured it somehow, possible in sports even though she’s clearly an addicted cigarette smoker.  I suppose I would have preferred admiring her smooth unobstructed leg but the black brace around her knee gave me just a little bit more insight into Sophie’s character.  But she could have had lizard legs and I’d still have been turned on by this first-rate smoking performance which I was now witnessing very up close and personally, watching those adorable cheeks of hers swell up after every drag followed by cloudy exhales and a residual haze of smoke.  She continued to drag frequently on what I presume was a short break so that haze of smoke in front of her face never really went away as she puffed on that all-white cigarette relentlessly.  I was close enough to see the writing on the butt and could tell it was a Parliament, an increasingly rare brand in the Upper Midwest as they are quite a bit more expensive than the traditional brands, which made it even more cute knowing that young Sophie was probably shelling out close to $10 a pack for her precious Parliaments every day.  Another cute little quirk of hers standing so close to that community ashtray is that she held her rapidly depleting cigarette directly over the ashtray every time she ashed.  Everything about Miss Sophie was just adorable and as heavily as she was hitting her Parliament from as close by, I was certainly getting in on my share of the foul odor exiting her respiratory system….

The sighting lasted no more than two minutes with as quickly as she was smoking (not supersmoking but at a very rapid clip nonetheless) before she crushed out the Parliament in the community ashtray and headed back into the dairy building where she would presumably resume peddling wholesome dairy products to fairgoers unprepared for how stinky this teen cutie would be when they got up close to her.  I’m still kicking myself for not having the presence of mind to follow her inside the building to see exactly where she worked.  I was more worried about studying the pics I got on my phone, some of which were fantastic but others which were obstructed a bit by the sun rays behind her….or perhaps it was just the haze of smoke coming from her face that was blurring up my camera!  Either way, she was my favorite sighting of August 29, 2015, and I returned to that Judson Avenue smoking area as frequently as possible to see if I could catch her on her next smoke break.  I never did but the best part about Sophie is that I might get a do-over next weekend, knowing which building she works in and assuming she’ll be working there again next Saturday which is often the case.  But even if Sophie’s smoking story ended yesterday in the early evening, she was far and away the highlight of a day that was already going pretty well.

The hits continued as I headed up to the area outside the grandstand.  Carrie Underwood was the musical act and already seemed worthy of some credit for the favorable demographic that she drew.  There was a considerable line outside the east grandstand gates by 6:15 and I walked the perimeter of the line searching for smokers and hit the century mark in style when I laid eyes on Sighting #100, a knockout curly-haired blond in her early 20s wearing a white tanktop and jean shorts with a white lace pattern separating the denim from her smooth, bare legs.  Needless to say, she was also smoking a cigarette and really standing out doing so being such a strikingly wholesome country girl.  She was hovering a few feet outside the line to spare others from her cancerous exhaust, but I snapped a few nice photos watching her smoke.  No bells and whistles to her style but the imagery of this classic country beauty separating herself from her friends so she could indulge her smelly addiction really kept my ecstatic vibe that had been accruing since mid-afternoon.  I was content to watch the smoking show from its current solitary position but both she and I were caught off-guard when the line started moving into the grandstand.  She quickly boogied on over to where her friends group was in the line, still smoking her cigarette.  I got a motion shot of her walking in the line taking a drag from her cigarette but unfortunately it’s a little blurry.  Eventually the line stalled out again, at which point she finished the cigarette and knelt down to stub it out.  I was standing next to the garbage can and as excited as I’d normally be to watch this cutie approach me, I knew she was only approaching me to toss her cigarette butt in the garbage.  She did just that and returned to the line, but I was able to take a peek in the garbage can and ID the discarded butt as a Camel Menthol.

Now after so much good luck and good timing for the last couple of hours, I was overdue for the rubber band of fate to snap me in the back with a cruel near-miss moment and unfortunately I had that moment with Sighting #103, which could potentially have beaten Sophie for sighting of the day.  I was evaluating the smoker crowd at the grandstand’s east side smoking area and finding only modest rewards moments after vacating my last find but then I turned around to a seating area behind the smoking area to find two mid-teen light brunette girls in “Grandstand Staff” T-shirts, one of whom had a fairly fresh cigarette smoldering in her hand.  This girl was very petite so it was hard to discern her age but judging by her taller friend I’d say these girls were lucky if they were 16, both offering the softest and most wholesome features of any smoker girls I’d seen all day and looking quite similar to boot.  The short one took a drag from the cork filter cigarette and exhaled a pretty mighty blast of smoke from her mouth and nose.  I was so excited and settled in for what I figured would be a nice long sighting.  So imagine my surprise when she knelt down and stubbed out a cigarette that looked like it had only two or three drags taken from it.  Gahhh!  Apparently the girls were on a very quick break and each took one or two hits from a cigarette before they had to get back to work.  They hustled back towards the grandstand entrance with the short one adorably fixing the hair of the taller girl.  I struggled to get a single photo in to preserve their image as they hustled to the grandstand entryway out of sight and thought I pulled it off….until I looked later and saw the photo didn’t turn out.  While it was refreshing to see two girls this cute and this young publicly smoking, it was painful to only be able to view a single drag from the one girl and not even be able to verify the other girl was a smoker.  My hope is that the girls will be working again next week and I’ll have a second chance at a full sighting but that seems like a longshot.

My disappointment didn’t last long though as I got my redemption within the next few minutes as I headed to the beer gardens block.  A cluster of women of varied ages stood on the sidewalk outside one of the bars and three of the four had unlit cigarettes between their fingers and beers in their other hands.  I’m guessing it was two late 40s/early 50s mothers in the company with their 20-something daughters.  Of the two daughters, one was a chubby brunette who barely qualified as Sighting #109, but the other was this truly beautiful and wholesome-looking early 20s brunette with a sexy body draped in a gray tanktop and nice-fitting jean shorts with a white lace pattern on the bottom framing her killer stems below.  I was very excited standing there seeing the unlit cigarette knowing I was about to get a full sighting of Sighting #110’s entire cigarette.  Right from the get-go she didn’t disappoint, lighting up her cork filter cigarette and seeming to “melt” into her first drag in a way that’s tough to explain and which none of my otherwise excellent photos didn’t entirely capture either, and then rudely exhaled straight into the faces of the other three ladies in the circular cluster. I couldn’t wait to see her subsequent drags to see if the pattern repeated.  But the sighting took a turn as the chubby smoker suddenly shouted out “Sarah!” to a young couple in the immediate area, obviously recognizing somebody she knew, and the two young smoker girls migrated to talk to the blond nonsmoking Sarah and her boyfriend.  My vantage point stayed just as strong and I was ready, willing, and able to stick around for more of what I had already seen…..

And more was exactly what that cute brunette delivered as her “melting into her drags” pattern persisted, where she put the cigarette into her mouth, scrunched up her face to ingest its toxic pleasures and then just swooned for a couple of seconds in an almost sexualized way in response to how good the smoke apparently felt inside of her.  She did that after nearly every drag, and even if she was in the middle of a verbal exchange with the friends she paused to enjoy–I mean REALLY enjoy–her cylinder of smoky pleasure.  I was getting pretty turned on myself and eagerly awaited her next drag to see her do it again, knowing how pleasurable it was for her.  Most of her subsequent exhales were delivered skyward to avoid whacking the nonsmokers in the face, and as I said I got a few solid photos of the encounter.  The sighting lasted a good 5-7 minutes and she cooperated perfectly by dropping the cigarette to the pavement and immediately going her separate ways from Sarah and her boyfriend, leaving the discarded cork filter butt lying there for identification.  I can’t keep track of all of the variations of Marlboro out there but based on the print of the Marlboro logo I suspect it may have been a Marlboro Red Special Blend.  Needless to say, this is one of several sightings yesterday poised for blog-worthy immortalization come year’s end.

I was due to meet my parents for our annual 7:00 cookie gathering at the information booth area in about 20 minutes but still had some prime fetish time left to ride out the momentum.  I hadn’t gotten as many good sightings as usual from the east side of the Coliseum yesterday, an area with a designated smoking area that is quite popular given that it’s shady and cooler in the afternoon hours.  But the Coliseum delivered one extra-base hit for me as I progressed down the sidewalk and could see a very wholesome blond from afar exhaling a cloud of cigarette smoke.  I stepped up my pace hoping to verify that Sighting #116 was as impressive upclose as she was from a distance, and in this case she was!  Her long blond hair flowed well over her shoulders onto a plaid shirt with a tight but utilitarian pair of blue jeans below the waist.  She looked mid-20s and was standing next to a boyfriend who also seemed wholesome and it was one of those cases where the question really begged itself how on Earth these two, and especially the girl, became addicted cigarette smokers.  I got a solid frontal photo but as I was preparing for an action shot of her taking a drag, I noticed they seemed to make me, so I retreated and backed away, content with the one photo I had and simply watching the rest of the girl’s performance, which went on about three drags longer.  Nothing distinctive about her style but it was satisfying just seeing a genuine girl-next-door type like her smoking in antismoking Minnesota in the year 2015.  She crushed the cigarette out beneath her foot and she and the boyfriend took off.  I was able to ID her butt as a Marlboro Menthol and then as I watched them walk away I saw her cigarette pack was hovering uncomfortably close to the edge inside her purse.  I hustled on up and got a rear photo that included both her ass and that pack of Marlboro Menthols that I hope didn’t fall out as they walked through the crowd and really put the girl in a pickle for her next cigarette.

I was in the final moments before meeting with the folks and took another pass by the smoking area on the east side of the grandstand, where there were still considerable crowds before the Carrie Underwood concert started.  There was nothing epic going on, but two different groups included early-to-mid 20s long haired light brunettes wearing orange tanktops and tight black leggings smoking cigarettes.  I love me some girls in tight leggings and found it interesting that Sightings #121 and #122 were occurring at the same time on separate sides of the smoking area wearing an almost identical ensemble.  I’d see one of the girls smoking again in the presence of two nonsmoking guys elsewhere on the grounds only an hour or so later.

I met up with the parents shortly after 7:00 with 124 sightings, on the upper edge of my baseline.  I figured with the favorable demographic that was at the fair yesterday that I had an excellent chance at 200 sightings, and an outside chance of my all-time record of 212.  The slow going in the first hour after I separated from the folks quickly dashed those hopes, unfortunately, and while in retrospect I didn’t have a bad night my momentum from the late afternoon and early evening certainly slowed.  When I separated from my parents around 7:20, I had one last spurt of strong momentum to enjoy however, and it came from a returning favorite from the afternoon.  There’s a windy ramp that leads up to edge of the grandstand on the west side and I often see smokers sitting along the berm enjoying a smoke break.  Last night I saw one of the day’s most memorable and beautiful girls doing just that…my Sighting #58 ponytailed dark brunette in the Army cap with the short jean shorts.  Earlier in the day when I saw her outside of the beer gardens, her boyfriend wasn’t smoking but this time they were both smoking, and it was easy to see from their blond filters that both were smoking Camel Turkish Royals.  There was a bunch of open space right next to them on the berm and I sat to the girl’s right, pretending to be watching over the gate to sneak a peek at Carrie Underwood inside the grandstand as she was now starting to perform.  It was a pretty perfect situation as I was able to watch her out of the corner of my eye and sneak some side angle pics giving a new perspective on how short her shorts are and how nice her legs are, among other things.  It was also nice to see her drags from close range, followed by the tight, straight-ahead exhales that exited her gorgeous mouth with just the smallest of residual nasal spill.  I got to see four or five drags and thought I had achieved pure perfection when from out of nowhere this chatty late 40s grandstand worker gal approached us and sat right in between us!  Seriously!  She was asking me all about the Carrie Underwood show as she took a smoke break of her own and went on to complain about her undependable coworker in the grandstand vendor booth.  She was quite friendly as I will say that I was at least able to look past her while chatting and take in a couple more of the sexpot brunette’s drags and exhales.  She also wasn’t out there long as their breaks must be very short, taking off in about three minutes at almost exactly the same time as my smoking couple left.  I saw that the brunette crushed out her cigarette against the berm and didn’t bother with taking the Camel Turkish Royal butt to the garbage this time.  All things considered, the derail wasn’t as bad as it could have been, and the second sighting from this gorgeous brunette sealed the deal that she’ll be making the year-end greatest hits list, a list which will include a fair number of entries from yesterday.

And before I would get any new girls worth mentioning, I would have an encounter with another smoker girl from earlier in the day, one that was almost entirely upstaged an hour and a half earlier at the beer gardens area.  The Sighting #110 brunette who “melted into her cigarette” captured my attention to the point that I wasn’t able to spend much time watching Sighting #112 who was hovering in the same general area.  She was a mid-20s blond with a bit of a hardened party girl look but was still very sexy in a black blouse and super tight skinny jeans smoking in the presence of a nonsmoking boyfriend at the beer gardens around 6:30.  Fast forward to a little after 8:00 and I was walking through the outdoor seating area of the food building on the off chance that a hot girl would be illegally smoking there.  Lo and behold my long-haired blond was preparing to do just that as she removed a Marlboro Light from a pack sitting next to the same nonsmoking boyfriend.  I sat on the berm next to her for a nice show moments before she lit up.  It was almost dark by now so my photos didn’t turn out perfectly but I captured a few nice shots of her face and body from the side, on a couple of occasions when she was in mid-drag.  She was talking calmly with the boyfriend for the first few drags and then noticed a girl she knew from afar and shouted “Erin”.  The mystery girl named “Erin” didn’t hear her at first so she hollered it out in her very husky smoker’s voice two more times before Erin heard her and started approaching.  Erin had a cigarette in hand herself and was sort of cute but also quite chubby, good enough to be Sighting #137 but certainly not good enough to upstage the sexy blond friend I was sitting next to and choking on her secondhand smoke.  I stuck around for the rest of the cigarette but the blond finished hers a little earlier than I’d hoped so she could follow Erin to wherever she and the rest of their friends group was headed, and she tossed her butt in the trash when she did, an interesting moment of manners from a girl who just illegally smoked a cigarette in an area where other people were eating.

From there, I headed to the east side of the grounds to the bathroom area where I usually go and while the nearby designated smoking area didn’t have anything worth seeing, in the no-smoking-permitted green space right in front of bathrooms, two guys and an attractive brunette were smoking.  Sighting #140 was another wholesome girl-next-door whose long brown hair was concealed under a baseball cap but flowed onto her shoulders where she wore a very utilitarian black fleece top with dark jeans below.  It seemed fitting that she was smoking with two guys because she very much seemed like a low-maintenance “one of the boys” sort of girl, despite being in no uncertain terms a hot chick.  Her smoking style was good too, with nicely paced drags and smooth, flowing exhales.  Since darkness was just starting to take hold I got the added imagery of glowing cherries to accompany her every drag.  While I typically don’t get great photos after dark, I was able to stand pretty close to her left and snap a couple of good pics, including one in which her cigarette cherry is glowing bright red.  She finished the cigarette and knelt down to crush it out, annoying me as I wanted a butt ID on this one.  But after taking all the trouble of crushing it out like she was gonna throw it in the garbage, she just let it lay there.  She outsmoked the two guys in her group who didn’t finish theirs for another minute or so and then the trio took off, at which point I was able to ID her butt.  Surprisingly it was a SECOND Parliament butt in the last two hours.  I hadn’t seen a single Parliament smoker since last summer but yesterday I scored two in one evening.

The midway used to be a great location for sightings when teens smoked more openly but it hasn’t delivered very strongly in the past few years in any of my fairgrounds.  I nonetheless made one more evening run through the midway at around 8:30 and while it was largely a bust again, I did score Sighting #144, an attractive 21ish blond in a black tanktop and jean shorts openly smoking near the back of the midway with a cluster of nonsmoking friends.  It was a sight for sore eyes to see one attractive young female walking around the midway with a cigarette in her hand, but I didn’t get to watch long because even though the smoker herself didn’t make me, one of her friends did and was eyeballing me as I started to follow.  I hung around for one drag and then realized it was in my interest to break away….and to get out of the midway where I would hopefully find more than just one young girl smoking.

There was nothing to see as I weaved my way through the glut of teenagers in between the midway and the beer gardens block where teens always congregate and only mediocrity at the beer gardens, so I headed down Judson Avenue towards the southeast side of the grounds.  After passing Sophie’s area with no Sophie to be seen, I pressed onto the International Bazaar area which has a smaller beer gardens of its own and struck gold with a duo of young couples that included one memorable and attractive female smoker hovering just outside the entrance to the open-air Bazaar.  Sighting #150 was a long-haired mid-20s brunette with very nice features and a flattering blue tanktop and black shorts smoking a freshly lit all-white and doing so impressively.  One of the guys who I presumed to be her boyfriend was also smoking but the other guy and girl were not.  There was some mixed interaction at first and the brunette took deep no-handlebars drags from her cigarette followed immediately by conversation.  I hoped to see talking exhales transpire but instead she waited a few seconds until she got done talking before turning her head slightly and then expelling the contents of her black lungs.  I’ve never been able to understand how some smokers do this and am always impressed by their hold times when they do.  Eventually, the two girls broke away a bit from the guys and stood a few feet further from the entryway, providing me a slightly better vantage point for more of the same, particularly those lengthy hold times where she spoke first and then decided to empty out her black lungs.  It was too dark for photos but I wish I would tried for even a dark, blurry one as this girl was impressive.  She also seemed quite restless though and walked right past the two guys in her group and crossed the threshold inside the International Bazaar before taking back to back final drags and then tossing the smoldering two-thirds smoked cigarette outside where it rolled along the cement almost directly to my feet, making it incredibly easy for me to ID her butt as a Marlboro Light.  Finally the evening was coming alive and I’d see this girl with her group at the main beer gardens block an hour or so later and, you guessed it, she was smoking another cigarette.  I didn’t want to be too familiar so I only stuck around for one drag on the second sighting, but unsurprisingly it was another deep drag followed by a long hold time coupled with conversation and, finally, a messy exhale.

I tend to make as many passes as possible through the beer gardens block in the evening hours because that’s where the sightings numbers really take off and last night was no exception.  A flurry of activity was set off almost the instant I arrived at the northwest edge of the beer gardens and spotted a trio of hot early 20s girls where only one had a cigarette.  Sighting #155 was a sexy brunette with a black tanktop and jean short cutoffs frayed at the bottom wielding a half-smoked cork filter that I could tell from the markings was a Camel Crush Bold.  I had just weaved my way through the extremely dense crowd of teenagers north of the beer gardens but could tell these three gals were about to head that direction and weave their way through the kids.  I didn’t really want to try to bust through this claustrophobic crowd again but the idea of this brunette smoking in such a dense cluster of humanity fascinated me.  The girls at first held back, intimidated by the crowd, but my obnoxious smoker cutie persisted, saying “let’s just bust through them.  Fuck it!”.  She must have been convincing as they again proceeded northward.  It was gonna be a huge challenge to follow directly behind and not lose them but I pulled it off, following directly behind this hottie as she took drags from her cigarette, sometimes exhaling into the sky so as not to offend any of the teens, but other times not and just exhaling in a way that her smoke drifted into their faces….or as luck would have it, into mine as I followed.   She typically held the cigarette close to her chest figuring it was the best way not to burn anybody but at one point she held it straight in the air over her head.  She was only like 5’4″ so this method certainly wasn’t gonna spare anybody tall, cute as her intentions were.  She pulled the cigarette back down to her chest as she continued to drag from it.  It was on its final couple of drags and I was becoming confident I’d be able to follow her until its finish but the sighting had one more surprise as she reached the squad car that’s parked in the middle of this large grouping of teens to make sure there’s no underage drinking.  I didn’t get the context of the conversation but the girl stopped to talk to the cop briefly with some question, illegally brandishing a cigarette on a forbidden part of the grounds while doing so.  It was quite an image and the conversation lasted about 30 seconds before the three of them proceeded again.  The smoker girl got her final drag in right near the end of the cluster of teens and then dropped the cigarette and crushed it out.  I could already tell it was a Camel Crush Bold but was able to make that official when I bent down to take a closer look.

I had a problem now as I still wanted to walk past the beer gardens, meaning I’d have to hustle my way through this mass of teenage humanity again, ultimately working my way to the edge where a group of people were watching riders on the Sling Shot ride (I finally have a name for the “extreme ride” that I’ve referenced for years in sightings that smoker girls have watched while puffing away.  Last night, a seemingly hot blond who I couldn’t get a decent vantage point of to save my life was smoking while watching, becoming Sighting #157.  And as I returned towards the beer gardens, a light brunette hottie was dancing in the street with a cigarette to become Sighting #158.  Suddenly there was a fair amount going on here but I lost interest in everything else when Sighting #159 wandered in from a huge crowd with a two-thirds smoked cigarette in hand.  She was this wildly wholesome and petite early 20s brunette in a little black cocktail dress who looked like a woman on a mission as she came scurrying up to a trio of nonsmoking friends wielding her cigarette.  I couldn’t wait to see her smoking style, but you can’t even imagine how long she made me wait before taking another drag so I could see it.  I bet I stood there for three minutes, so long that two other new smoker sightings were playing out as I waited for her.  My head was telling me “Abort!  She’s not worth all this time when there are so many other smoker girls out there to be fetished!” but my gut kept telling me to stick around, and thankfully I listened to my gut even with as ticked off as I was watching her stand there with her cigarette now having a long granny ash and smoldering down to next to nothing as she chattered with her friends.  Finally, the cigarette approached her mouth but I was not prepared for the degree to which she made it worth my wait, placing the 90% smoked cigarette stub in her mouth and doing the most intense dangling drag I’ve ever witnessed.  It may have lasted a full 10 seconds, and I figure it might have been because the cigarette was going out having not been puffed on for so long.  Either way, that cherry was glowing a bright red and the smoke was just rolling into the air from it, polluting the airspace around her nonsmoking friends who were all taller than she was.  Eventually, the long ash fell to the pavement and floating embers scattered with it from the intensity of her drag.  I looked again and it was hard to imagine a face like hers was responsible for a drag like that.  She crushed out the cigarette after that one drag and made me damn glad I was patient enough to stick around for it, but frustrated that I wasn’t able to see more than the single drag as this girl was otherwise worthy of longer-term acclaim.

The night still had a few pleasant surprises and I walked the north side of the beer gardens moments after the previous sighting and spotted a duo of teen girls standing in line for corn dogs (or as we call them in Minnesota, pronto pups), one of whom had a mostly smoked cigarette in her hand.  Sighting #164 was different from the other teen smokers I saw yesterday in that she was a nerd….a cute one perhaps, but definitely a nerd…and the nonsmoking friend was too.  Both had nerdy glasses and a very geeky look about them in their red T-shirts and jean shorts.  I didn’t hold it against them and their look gave the sighting a bit more color as you don’t really think of nerdy teenage girls as smokers this day and age.  Whatever the case, the girls were in the front of the line waiting for their pronto pups and giggling when the smoker took a drag from her cigarette and exhaled straight ahead, her smoke going pretty much straight into the vendor stand.  Moments later, they walked away with their respective corn dogs and I got a better look at them.  I’d say the nonsmoker was slightly cuter but both had a nerdy 11th grade cuteness to them with similar curly light brown hair, and both had very nice asses draped in their jean shorts as I followed them.  What struck me is that everybody they walked past seemed to notice the girl with the cigarette in her hand.  I caught no fewer than four people’s eyes drift towards the smoker girl’s cigarette as she walked by and making a mental note of it without any obvious judgment on their faces.  The girls were more interested in their corn dogs and their giggly conversation at this point though and I wouldn’t see the smoker touch the cigarette again before they got swallowed up in a sea of people and I lost them.  I only got the one drag and it was impressive, as was the context of everybody spotting her with her cigarette, but this one was probably never poised to be a Hall of Famer even if I saw a lot more smoking from it.

Carrie Underwood’s concert was still ongoing and before 10:00 I made another pass near the grandstand area which typically produces its share of evening sightings as well.  Just as I was drifting back to the beer gardens block, two girls and a guy were walking my direction and one of the girls, a hot 20-something blond, was smoking a cigarette and I turned around to follow her.  Sighting #172 had a beer in her left hand and a half-smoked all-white in her right, and she was clearly three sheets to the wind.  I don’t know if the guy was the boyfriend to one of the girls or what but the blond and her hot brunette nonsmoking friend were playfully kissing each other in a drunken stupor, I suspect primarily as a consequence of their respective drunkenness rather than an actual lesbian courtship.  It made a hot sighting even hotter though as blondie regularly hit her cigarette and then pulled into the nonsmoking friend for a kiss.  Blondie’s best asset in this setting was the skin-tight pair of black leggings she was wearing on the lower half of her nicely shaped body, perfectly framing an incredible ass and showing off her butt dimples in a flattering way.  Her smoking technique was average at best and made me wonder if she was just a social smoker but it was still a hoot to follow her for a few minutes and watch her smoke in this inebriated state while dressed in such a sexually charged way.  The girls were becoming a little too unpredictable and I feared getting caught so I took off before she finished the cigarette or before I got a butt ID.

The evening of August 29, 2015, had one more electric moment for me on the northern edge of the designated smoking area near the beer gardens.  I peaked my head around the aforementioned giant plants to find an attractive young couple sitting there with a mid-20s blond holding an unlit cigarette between her fingers preparing to light up.  It was clear she was a little bit inebriated and her nonsmoking boyfriend was too which added to the fun of Sighting #175.  It took her a moment or two before she lit the cigarette which allowed me time to admire her very impressive presentation, her shoulder-length blond hair crashing onto a white bare-midriff tanktop with a glossy belt holding up a pair of uber-skimpy jean shorts and her long legs flowing into a very flattering pair of black cowgirl boots.  The only thing that could improve upon that image was a lit cigarette, and she made that happen seconds later by flicking it to life and doing an impressive no-handlebars drag off the light-up, removing the cigarette from her mouth and releasing an eruption of smoke from both her mouth and nose into the evening sky.  She was one of those smokers whose respiratory system just effortlessly produces a whirlwind of smoke following her drags and that makes for a visual carnival to a fetisher like me.  And all of her nicely timed drags were like that….intense no-handlebars dangling drags followed by volcanic eruptions of smoke pouring out of her facial orifices as if her insides were on fire and desperately seeking a release hatch through her mouth and nose.  I tried to get a bad photo but wasn’t even able to get a dark, blurry image of her in the shot.

But there was something else going on here besides her smoking show…..and that involved a frisky boyfriend who I sensed may have been a fetisher himself trying to cash in on his smoker girlfriend’s drunkenness for some sneaky PDA with a hot chick while she smoked.  There was a smoldering passion for a couple of minutes as he moved his face towards hers and she followed suit.  For a few moments, their faces were like two inches apart, and this was after a few of her drags, meaning he was getting a very direct assault of her stinky cigarette breath.  This happened a couple of times in between her impressive drags and exhales, and finally they just kissed, allowing him to finally taste the tobacco breath he had undoubtedly been craving at least since she first lit up.  The kissing lasted about 20 seconds and I was getting a Chris Matthews’-style “thrill up my leg” just being able to observe this.  It wasn’t quite up to what the legendary FCF #2 Pall Mall teen princess did with her nonsmoking boyfriend in 2013 but easily the best I’ve seen since then….

The kissyface show ended as another young couple approached and it was pretty clear they were attending the fair together.  Beyond that, a decently attractive 20-something blond from the beer gardens approached my sexy smoker to ask for a light, which she gave her.  The second act of the sighting would be less intimate but still featured a nice show as the smoker girl and her boyfriend stood up so they could chat with the friends who just arrived.  It was great to see her body in a vertical position in that outfit, showing off more of her midriff with that sexy belt-and-shorts combination, not to mention how those long, smooth legs slipped into her black boots.  And of course she continued to drag fiercely with mostly dangling drags and always showered the area just to her right with a furnace blast of thick white smoke.  She finished the cigarette in a few moments and knelt down to the crush the all-white out on the inner edge of the berm and then dropping the butt into the dirt.  Had the group left then and there I would have had no problem scoring a butt ID but they stuck around and I couldn’t invest any more time in them just for a butt ID.  I returned before I left that night to an empty berm, using the light from my camera phone to try to find her discarded butt in the plant matter for an ID but wasn’t able to find it in the dense plant life and just admitted defeat and took off.  Even so, the night needed a really strong closing act and this girl with her substantively and aesthetically satisfying five-minute show certainly came through.

Only moments later, the fireworks started which meant the grandstand show was over.  The evening only had about 15 minutes left but I was excited about the prospect of seeing hundreds upon hundreds of people fleeing the Carrie Underwood show, undoubtedly with some cute young female nicotine addicts in desperate need of a fix among them.  I was working my way towards the grandstand but paused to watch a few drags of Sighting #180, a dark-complected 21ish brunette sitting in between two guy friends, all smoking.  She deserved more than my passing observations but since her style was nothing distinctive I decided I’d be better served heading to the glut of departing concertgoers.  I was not served well by this decision as the mass of humanity was racing for the exits and I didn’t see a single girl with a cigarette as apparently the smokers were willing to wait a tick longer until they got out of the worst of the crowd.  Meanwhile it was almost 10:30 and I had to meet up with the folks, the downside of going up to the fair with them in that I’m forced to leave an hour earlier than I otherwise would.

As soon as I was able to get out of a swarm of people, I headed to the south side near the Coliseum where I meet my parents and the crowd thinned down.  I got one final sighting of a brunette in an orange tanktop and jeans smoking on my way out, my 183rd and final sighting of the day.  I was a few minutes late meeting the folks but they were talking to some random woman so they didn’t notice.  It occurred to me why there was a much smaller crowd than predicted on the south side when I got there.  The bus stops had moved to the northwest side last year meaning that only the people in the fairgrounds parking lot were using the south side entrance.  Suffice it to say that this smaller crowd of foot traffic didn’t translate to a smaller crowd of automobile traffic though as we got caught in a half-hour traffic jam getting out of the parking lot and onto Snelling Avenue.

It was all worth it though and while I was a little disappointed that the evening didn’t have any genuine rock star moments that moved me to pure elation like most evenings at the Minnesota State Fair do, I still can’t complain.  The sheer volume of extra base hits I scored over the course of the day, and particularly in those incredible late afternoon and early evening hours, puts August 29, 2015, up there with one of my better sightings days in the last few years, with several entries poised to make my year-end greatest hits list.  And while I had a handful of would-be great sightings derailed by e-cigarettes, they continued to not be as big of a thorn in my side as predicted.  I’m wondering though if I’ll ever hit 200 sightings in a day again as I seemed well-positioned to do so at 7 p.m. but fell considerably short again.  Even so, if I needed any proof that smoking is still alive among my preferred demographic, last weekend’s trip to the Minnesota State Fair confirmed it and gave me hope that the precipitous decline of smoking hasn’t hit epidemic levels yet, at least in the Midwest.  And the best part is….I get to do it all over again on Labor Day weekend when I return to the sacred smoking fetish ground that is the Minnesota State Fair for an encore.



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2015 Missouri State Fair

I was on the road shortly after 6 a.m. on Saturday morning (August 22, 2015) for a long weekend road trip to the Ozarks, and used the opportunity to get a day in at the Missouri State Fair.  For years I’ve been tempted to see what the Missouri State Fair has to offer being a state with a much more smoker-friendly culture that happens to border Iowa, and this would be my year.  The weather forecast was shaky, especially for the evening, but I didn’t know how good the fair would be so I went in with mixed feelings about what the day would be like.  It was shortly after 11 a.m. when I arrived in the small city of Sedalia, Missouri, and pulled into the parking lot.  There’s no such thing as free parking at the Minnesota or Iowa State Fair or even at my county fair so that was my first surprise for the day.  The free parking was part of a first impression that led me to believe this was a smaller affair than either Iowa or Minnesota, but when I got inside the grounds it was more impressive than expected, offering most of the same features as Iowa and Minnesota on a somewhat smaller scale.  And the grounds had a huge midway that I hoped would sparkle after dark with plenty of sightings.

But it was clear from the noon crowd that my research about the size of the fair was being vindicated.  The Iowa State Fair runs the exact same 11 days in August that Missouri’s does but despite having half as many people as Missouri, Iowa’s 11-day attendance in 2014 was more than one million while Missouri’s was 365,000.  And as I traversed the grounds over the course of the day and evening it was obvious the crowds were less than half what I had just experienced in Iowa.  I was hoping the smoking culture of Missouri would make up the difference.  I tried not to get my hopes up too high entering the grounds but the possibilities seemed endless for a throwback to a smoking culture of 20 years ago or more.  Might I see trios of cigarette-wielding 14-year-old girls?  Or mothers with two hot teenage daughters smoking together unashamedly?  I didn’t summarily dismiss such a notion but the answer to those questions ended up being a definite no.  In terms of numbers and even quality, the Missouri State Fair disappointed a little and I’ll give some theories as to why I think that was the case as I go along.  But don’t let my disappointing opening remarks fool you…..because I scored one sighting that is the easy frontrunner for best sighting of 2015…and I just happened to spend several hours of the day observing it!

It was a good hour that I encircled the fair before seeing anything of consequence.  There was no shortage of smoking and Missouri lived up to its reputation as having more smokers than the national average pretty early on, albeit nearly all older than 35 in that first hour and at other points during the day.  I kept assuring myself that this was “family time” and the evening hours could be pretty nuts, and with sightings so slow to start I was observing the culture generally, with some people seeming like they’d fit right in in Iowa while others had Southern drawls as thick as Foghorn Leghorn.  And walking past the fairgrounds open-air pavilion-style bars it was wonderful to see ashtrays on the tables and people smoking inside, my first sampling on the permissive Missouri smoking culture that’s nearly a decade removed from my reality in Iowa or Minnesota.  Still, I came to see young and attractive females smoking…and where the hell were they?!?!?  The Missouri State Fair may have lulled me into a false sense of security, but holy shit did the place know how to make a dramatic entrance when it did finally come through……

Walking by the livestock barns and frustrated by the not-exactly-predicted intense heat and the lack of sightings, my day and indeed my entire summer took an abrupt turn for the better when my eyes focused on the approaching image.  If you’re a fetisher, you are lucky to get one image per summer as fantastic as this.  Twenty yards in front of me was a trio of 21-22ish summer hotties in tanktops and shorts–a visually perfect cluster of feminine youth in the summertime without a single defiling tattoo amongst the three of them–all wielding freshly lit cigarettes between their fingers.  I quickly readied my camera to capture this moment.  Aligning a perfect photo while not looking at the camera and thus telling on yourself is never easy so none of the dozen or so photos I would get of them was perfect, but I still feel that I successfully immortalized the images of Sightings #1, #2, and #3.  Instantly, this sighting took me back to my best Minnesota State Fair sighting of 2014, with three sexy smoker girls that each had a distinct visual identity to differentiate them.  In my Missouri trio, there was a long-haired blond with sunglasses in a red blouse with white shorts.  She was hot as hell, but in this group passed for the plain jane.  There was a perfectly coiffed sexpot dark brunette with long, curly hair, a revealing white tanktop and cutoffs showing off tremendous flesh and a beautiful chiseled body that flowed into a pair of cowgirl boots.  And then there was the third girl who immediately captured my imagination best, a slender light brunette with shoulder length hair wearing a pink blouse and short jean shorts with cowgirl boots, who had the most wholesome and heartwarming face I’ve seen all season, albeit with a faint hint of hardening suggesting she’s been a heavy smoker for a while.  Nearly five hours worth of driving to Sedalia, Missouri, was already worthwhile and I hadn’t even seen them smoke yet!

After they walked past me, I turned around, watching them from behind while taking rear snapshots of their asses and the cigarettes between their fingers.  Doing so I was able to see their smoking technique, all of which were vaguely similar at least in this context of walking with their backs to a decent south breeze which scattered their cloudy exhales northward.  This vantage point behind them was also perfect for allowing me to see the reactions of others walking past them.  Virtually everybody took note of this sexy young trio, and judging from the direction their eyes went, they also took note of the cigarettes in their hands.  One woman seemed visibly annoyed and shook her head upon observing all three girls were smoking.  I also took note that my wholesome light brunette had a pack of Camel Light Menthols stuffed into her jean shorts, ready to do business for the entire day!  These girls were nothing if not cooperative on Saturday and came to a stop at a perfect vantage point where I could lean against a fence and snap more pics as they stood there smoking.  It was only when the girls stopped that I realized this steam roller had a fourth wheel….a clean-cut college age guy….but you’ll forgive me for not putting his presence together with this trio of girls for a variety of reasons, the most substantial being he was not smoking himself!  This man, folks, is the luckiest nonsmoking guy on the planet and I hope he realizes that!  I got the sense that the group, especially the guy, was wise to me but if ever there was a time for taking risks, this was it as I snapped several more pics from this sedentary location and watched these beauties continue smoking.  Just fantastic!

The blond finished her cigarette first and appeared heading for the dairy cattle barn of all places, dropping her cigarette to the pavement without crushing it out and then vanishing inside that dairy building.  The rest of the group had other destinations to visit though and pressed forward, giving me the chance to identify blondie’s smoldering cigarette as a Camel Blue.  I pressed forward to see my wholesome light brunette had just finished her cigarette as well, also dropping it to the pavement without bothering to crush it out.  I could tell by the pack in the back of her jean shorts that her brand was Camel Light Menthols, but confirmed it looking at the smoldering remains of her cancer stick.  Now it was just a matter of that sexy dark brunette, the slowest smoker of the trio.  I got to watch a few more drags from her over the next 50 yards or so before she also retired her smoldering butt to the ground.  Hers was a Marlboro Light Special Blend.  Three different distinct beauties with three distinct brands all smoking together.  The imagery and quality of the girls being what they were, this sighting would have been my best so far of the 2015 fair season if it had ended right there, but suffice it to say it was nowhere near over.

I was walking on the clouds at that point and just knew my odds were good for seeing one or more of those girls again, but in the meantime I was exploring the fairgrounds for other finds in their league.  Things start to open up some as I got an appetizer of Sighting #4 next, where I spotted an attractive and slender 21ish dark blond wearing sunglasses in the company of her 40-something mother.  I saw the daughter had a pack of L & Ms stuffed in her back jeans pocket and that was enough to immediately qualify her as Sighting #4, but it was a half hour or so later when that designation became official as daughter now had a cigarette in hand as she walked in her T-shirt and jeans next to nonsmoking mom.  The duo stopped at the unofficial gates of this Clydesdale horse exhibit.  Even though I think that at this fair, the daughter could have gotten away with smoking in the open-air exhibit, she nonetheless stood at a much more convenient open spot allowing me to score a couple of pics.  She was a good smoker with nice long drags and cloudy exhales, and her open smoking in front of mom was a bonus.  Unfortunately, my pics ended up hazy for some reason.  That happens sometimes and I wonder if it isn’t caused by my sweaty finger accidentally touching the lens. Either way, the photos ended up being only mediocre but the girl’s smoking was far better than that.  She dropped the cigarette to the ground, again without crushing it out which Missouri girls apparently just don’t do, and then walked into the Clydesdale exhibit with mom.  No surprise that the discarded butt was an L & M.

For the next half hour or so, I stitched together some modest sightings of young mothers and other average-looking gals in their late 20s and 30s.  In general, I’d say there were fewer attractive fairgoers than in Minnesota or Iowa, with some bona fide hillbilly girls in the mix that didn’t interest me even when smoking.  But right around 1:00 the day’s trajectory dramatically reversed, and it was all courtesy of Sighting #11, who by herself was a pretty impressive find even though she wasn’t personally responsible for the day’s change of direction.  A trio of two girls and a guy in their mid-to-late 20s were walking towards a small fairgrounds bar called Chuckie Dee’s and one of the girls was a brunette with sunglasses, a white shoulderless tanktop and dark jeans who looked ready for the party, particularly with a freshly lit cigarette in hand.  She waltzed right into the bar with her cigarette and asked somebody something, which I would quickly discover to be a request for an ashtray as she was handed one before retreating to a table near a wall with her two friends.  The female friend was a light brunette in a purple tanktop and pale blue jean shorts who I found hotter than the smoker, and I was taking a bench outside ready, willing, and able to wait as I needed for her to produce cigarettes of her own, but my plans got changed when I looked one table to their right and saw who was sitting there…..

Three of the four participants in my great original Missouri State Fair sighting occupied that table, including the guy, the sexpot brunette, and the wholesome light brunette cutie.  The blond who went into the cattle barn earlier was not there.  The only problem was there was a partition obstructing my view of them from the bench where I sat.  I scrambled and searched the perimeter of this open-air bar for another more accommodating bench….and I found one!  At the front entryway of the bar was a wide open bench where I could observe the bench where this trio sat, close enough to appreciate the imagery but far enough away that I didn’t stand out like a sore thumb to them.  The second I sat down I could have sworn I saw a plume of smoke exhaled from the mouth of the dark brunette.  I figure my eyes probably didn’t deceive me and that she did in fact take the final exhale from a cigarette she crushed out outside of my sight range.  Either way, I just had a feeling that if I waited here for a while, I’d see more smoking from one or more of these girls.   An otherwise tempting Sighting #12 walked by right in front of me, a family where a 19ish skinny brunette daughter had a pack of Newports stuffed into her back jeans pocket, but especially considering that girl wasn’t smoking, I wasn’t about to vacate this bench overlooking my best find so far in the 2015 fair season.

I had to wait no more than five minutes before the wholesome light brunette inserted an all-white between her lips and fired up.  I don’t often get the visceral flourish of excitement where my heart skips a beat seeing a girl smoking a cigarette but it sure happened at that moment.  This time, I was gonna get to watch her smoke the whole cigarette!  Even though this bar was open-air, the context was exactly like an old-fashioned bar setting, complete with the ashtray, and the imagery of her smoking evoked that.  I never got much of a chance to admire her style when I saw her smoking by the livestock barns earlier but that deficiency was being amended now.  Her drags were rock-solid, lasting a good five seconds and exposing a pleasured sensation on her face followed by generous exhales that she usually tilted slightly skyward to release, which the aforementioned south wind scattered into the bar.  It would have been hard to imagine this girl could upstage the imagery of her first cigarette with her friends outdoors but my front-row seat to her bar setting cigarette pulled it off, and I savored every moment until she extinguished the cigarette’s remains in the ashtray in front of her.  Was this the time to walk away?  Perhaps for an ordinary duo of fair girls, but these two were not ordinary, and I just knew that there would be more rewards for staying where I was at.  And it wouldn’t take long for those rewards to be realized….

No more than three minutes passed before the sexy dark brunette took out another cigarette and lit up, and this motivated her wholesome light brunette friend to light up another one too.  Oh sweet….both girls smoking at once again!  But of course there was one member of this trio not smoking….and that was the guy who never did light up even while in the presence of all these heavy-smoking females.  If ever there was a case study on whether secondhand smoke kills or not, it would be this guy.  If secondhand smoke is as dangerous as they claim it is, this guy should be dead in the next few years!  And his would-be killers couldn’t have been happier about their method of execution as the two girls smoked copiously, each producing beautiful clouds of smoke that were carried further into the bar by the wind.  The wholesome light brunette was the better–and faster–smoker of the two with cloudier exhales and better pacing, but the brunette looked so damn badass in her sunglasses dragging from her cigarette and typically exhaling right straight ahead, making no effort at all to spare the guy sitting across from her the exhaust from her dark lungs.  The wholesome girl crushed out her cigarette a couple of minutes before the slower-smoking dark brunette friend.  And in the biggest irony of the day, the piped-in music coming from the bar’s speaker was now playing Alan Jackson’s late 90s hit “Everything I Love” of which the song’s hook is “everything I love is killing me….cigarettes, Jack Daniels, and caffeine”.  Clearly these girls don’t listen too closely to the lyrics of the country bars they frequent as they were a few years from the emphysema ward at the rate they were going! Right after the dark brunette finished hers, she got up and I figured the whole group was leaving…..but it was only the brunette.  I don’t know where she went but now it was just the guy and the wholesome light brunette at the table by themselves.  I began to suspect they were boyfriend and girlfriend but was later dissuaded of that impression.  More on that later, but in the meantime since my favorite girl of the group was sticking around, I was gonna do the same and see how high the cigarette count would go!

This was actually a perfect situation for me because my feet were still sore from 8 1/2 hours of walking at the Iowa State Fair that ended Thursday night at midnight.  My feet would be hard-pressed to handle a full 12 hours of walking on cement again all day and night Saturday, so my extended sit on this bench overlooking my favorite girls in the bar allowed me the best of both worlds….fantastic sightings from the comfort of my easy chair.  I was a little concerned that I was missing great stuff elsewhere on the fairgrounds but I definitely made the right choice to stick around and I would formalize my stay by approaching the bar and ordering a pulled pork sandwich, giving me something to eat while being entertained by the smoker girl and a live band that was now performing and was quite good.  Again, my timing couldn’t have been better….because as I was standing there waiting on my sandwich, the wholesome light brunette smoker was standing at the bar right next to me ordering another beer.  This was the closest I was all day physically to this perfect female specimen….and frankly she kind of reeked of smoke!  I retreated to my bench while she was still in line waiting for another beer, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her perfect ass and those great legs with the cowgirl boots at the bottom, the breeze whipping around the bottom of her loose fitting pink top and showing off some midriff.  Her sex appeal was off the charts.  She walked back to her seat with the fresh beer, and I knew that with the new beer another cigarette was about to be smoked.

She made me wait about five more minutes but didn’t disappoint when her fourth cigarette of the last two hours (at least, I probably missed at least one!) was ignited.  While I had sort of appreciated the old-fashioned bar setting of this sighting up to this point, something I hadn’t experienced to this degree since Cousin Jamie’s wedding in 2002, it was after she lit this latest cigarette that it really hit home for me, and for a very specific reason.  For the first half of the cigarette, she rested her elbow on the table and held her cigarette close to her face as it smoldered.  With indoor smoking sightings having all but disappeared in my part of the country, an already visually appealing pose for a sexy smoker gal became that much more stunning because of its scarcity.  I honestly can’t even remember the last time I saw a girl smoking in this pose, and it was tearing me up inside with excitement.  The visceral thrill I mentioned that this girl gave me when she lit up before was occurring every couple of minutes at this point and I couldn’t get enough of it.  She took a good 6-8 drags with her elbow on the table before retreating to her previous position of holding her cigarette hand to her side next to her chair but I appreciated the hell out of those throwback stylings for as long as they lasted.  And sometimes this girl would flash a smile or have a certain look in her eye that just melted my heart witnessing it, reinforcing my notion that she was one of the most perfect smoker girls who ever lived, a perfect combination of heavy and unashamed smoker with a fun and charming personality.

She finished that fourth cigarette and I was determined to ride this show out as long as I could.  I know I had been spotted again by the girl and the guy with her but the presence of this live band performing behind them gave me a reason to be looking their way.  It was one of those perfect fetish days where absolutely everything was going my way. Nonetheless, the band’s arrival posed a logistical challenge when more people came to listen to them, including some who sat in my line of vision of the chainsmoking babe, at least partially obstructing me from seeing more of her.  I found myself fidgeting on my bench trying to find holes in the crowd where I could see the girl.  Thankfully, this crowd’s formation occurred in between cigarettes but I knew with this girl that period wouldn’t last long so I was hoping for some kind of break or that she would actually hold off before firing up her next one.  About 10 minutes passed when I saw an opening just large enough that I saw her nose and mouth in between two other customers…..and she was placing an unlit cigarette in her mouth, her fifth so far today that I observed.  It sure was a weird–yet oddly satisfying experience watching this cigarette being inserted into a female mouth yet not being able to see the rest of her face.  And it played out this way for her first couple of drags too before a brief parting in the crowd allowed me a better vantage point where I could observe the rest of her face smoking too, never disappointing even for a second.  Was this girl an anomaly even in small-town Missouri or was she not necessarily the exception to the rule of being such a heavy smoker?  I also observed that she was very gingerly sipping her beer, which was in an ordinary plastic cup.  She was only on her second beer since I arrived here more than an hour ago.  Some more casual smoking girls say they smoke when they drink, but with this girl I think she would be more inclined to say she drinks while she smokes!

There was some unsettled activity during this fifth cigarette as the guy got up and walked off, perhaps to go to the bathroom….or else he finally reached his breaking point tolerating the girl’s incessant smoking.  Either way, I briefly abandoned my bench and retreated to a rear position behind where the girl sat.  The half-smoked cigarette was in her left hand as she continued to watch the band while sitting alone, and from this rear position I got to admire something else.  I mentioned earlier how when she was standing at the counter waiting for a beer the breeze was whipping around her blouse.  It was still doing that now as she sat with her back to the wind, but since she was sitting an inch or more of her black panties were exposed above the belt line of her shorts.  This girl just never quit finding ways to turn me on!  She took three back-to-back-to-back drags from her cigarette before crushing it out and continuing to sit there.  And remember sitting right next to this girl was the group that led me into this bar in the first place, the brunette who was my Sighting #11.  She was still there and smoking as heavily as my wholesome light brunette but really got the short end of the stick being in the company of royalty and getting so thoroughly upstaged.  She actually got up on stage with the band at one point and sang “Barracuda” karaoke.  I was still curious about that friend of hers in the purple shirt and jean shorts even though I hadn’t yet seen her smoke.  I snapped a rear photo to capture them and briefly walked away as it was now 3:00 and I wanted to at least see what else the fair had to offer, thinking I would check in on a very regular basis to see what my wholesome light brunette was up to.

I did just that and was back in no more than 10 minutes.  Surprisingly the table was vacant, but I hustled on up to see if I could get a closer look at that ashtray provided it wasn’t cleaned out yet.  I got there and saw an ashtray with nearly a dozen butts in it, the majority being my favorite girl’s Camel Light Menthols.  But I also saw her pack of cigarettes and a half-empty beer still sitting there, signaling to me that she was planning to return.  I left the scene and returned in a few minutes.  Sure enough, all three of the original party were now back….the nonsmoking guy, my wholesome light brunette, and that impossibly sexy dark brunette, who was smoking another cigarette, her third or probably fourth cigarette of the afternoon.  My bench was still mostly open so I seized it, wanting to see more of the dark brunette’s style.  She didn’t smoke as quickly as I’d prefer but she was a great smoker with long indulgent drags and cloudy exhales.  And I love the dark brunette’s presence because every time she lights a cigarette, she inspires her heavier-smoking friend to light another.  Two-thirds way into the dark brunette’s cigarette, the light brunette fired up another of her own, her sixth so far this afternoon that I witnessed.  I stayed once again until both girls finished their cigarettes before making another attempt to take off, planning again to return and see when they smoke again.

I felt a little guilty for neglecting the rest of the grounds in favor of one girl (or group of girls), as incredible as they were, but when I returned to the grounds I realized I hadn’t been missing much.  There still wasn’t much going on out there, in particular in the midway when I finally made another trip through there.  I was heading back to Chuckie Dee’s to keep tabs on those smelly sexpot chainsmokers, but when I got halfway there, I discovered they were coming to me!  They finally left the bar and were now heading in the direction of the midway without any cigarettes.  And this time, the original blond was back.  The band was back together, with all three girls and the nonsmoking guy.  I had assumed with all the alone time that the guy spent with the wholesome light brunette that she was his girlfriend, but he was putting his arms all over the sexy dark brunette as they walked.  What gives here?  Maybe he’s fucking both of them!  Whatever the arrangement, I’d pay my life savings to spend one damn day in this guy’s shoes!  I was torn between following them into the midway and risking being called out with as familiar as my presence was at this point or returning to their table at the bar to do an official cigarette butt count in the ashtray.  Considering it might be a while before the girls lit up again, especially if they were about to ride midway rides, I decided to check out the ashtray.  I probably made a mistake as I got there to find the table still empty but the ashtray already gone.  And when I returned to the midway, I didn’t find them again.  I certainly wasn’t in a position to complain about what these girls, and the wholesome light brunette in particular, had already delivered for me.  And you never know, it’s possible we haven’t heard the last of them.

What I found instead when I returned to the midway was the most frustrating would-be sighting of the entire day or the entire fair season.  With as much luck as I had with that trio of girls who dominated my day, I was getting skunked elsewhere.  The “hot girl” of every group just never seemed to be smoking, be it in a family setting or a friends group setting where others were smoking.  And never was this dynamic more painful than when I was preparing to exit the midway and discovered this mid-teen girl standing behind a baby stroller that had a pack of Marlboro Reds and a pack of Marlboro Blacks front and center near the handlebars.  I froze in my tracks, looking this 14ish brunette cutie in the gray tanktop and black shorts over.  She clearly wasn’t the baby’s mother….so who was she?  It quickly became clear that she was “big sis” to the little girl who the stroller belonged to, and the couple with the child appeared to be in their mid-40s or older.  What was I missing here?  Maybe they were the grandparents who were babysitting for the day while the biological mom worked, taking her little girl to the fair.  Whatever the case, when I saw those two middle-aged parents/grandparents showing the little girl a good time at the fair, it put into doubt my original instinct that either of those two packs of cigarettes belonged to the 14-year-old girl.  I nonetheless had to see this through to make sure because it would have rivaled my chainsmoking threesome for sighting of the year if this hottie smoked.  When the older couple put the little girl on the next ride over after taking her off the previous one, the teen girl threw an adorable little hissy fit having to wait for the little girl ride all of her rides and got a scolding from mom.  Mom then grabbed her pack of Marlboro Reds and extracted one, leaving the teen girl alone with the stroller again.  I figured the stress of the situation would trigger her to light a cigarette if she was a smoker, but she didn’t.  And there were tons of infuriating false starts….where she would reach down in the front of stroller in the direction of those cigarette packs but she was really just grabbing for her phone…..or when she started wheeling the empty stroller away as if going somewhere to sneak a cigarette, but then just stopped in the shade so she could get out of the sun.  I stuck around a good 15 minutes and kept doubling back even after I did leave the scene, not being able to let go of my initial instinct that this girl would smoke and become my youngest sighting of 2015.  But it never happened.  I saw the family near the livestock barns a couple of hours later and still no smoking.  It still haunts me as my instinct was this girl was a smoker, but it seemed pretty obvious it wasn’t meant to be for me to see it on Saturday even if she was.

It was quite a snap back to reality trudging around the sightingless grounds in the late afternoon, at the very time of day that Iowa and Minnesota’s fairs typically start to ramp up sightings numbers.  I was still holding out hope for an off-the-hook evening but things would have to change fast for that to happen.  Thankfully I was still riding high on my half-day sighting before and during Chuckie Dee’s as that was all that was keeping me sane on this far-hotter-than-expected Saturday afternoon where staying hydrated was a constant and expensive challenge.  The sightings were barely trickling in and most of them were mediocre.  And I was surprised at how prolific e-cigarettes were in Missouri.  They certainly didn’t dominate my observations but I saw more of them than in Iowa or Minnesota, which surprised me given that Missouri’s low cigarette taxes would seem to kill e-cigs’ competitive advantage.  And for the first time this fair season, what would have been a rock-star sighting was sabotaged by e-cigarettes, and it happened to occur at Chuckie Dee’s, the source of so many great things earlier in the day, at around 6:00 when this very attractive young couple that included a gorgeous early 20s blond walked into the place both in possession of e-cigarettes.  I guess you have to take a little of the bad with the good, but even three years ago I probably wouldn’t have had to agree to those terms because this blond would have been smoking regular cigarettes along with those who occupied Chuckie Dee’s before her!

Finally the hours of mediocrity broke right around 6 p.m. with Sighting #23.  At a series of benches behind some food stands sat an 18-19ish couple who seemed quite wholesome. And in what was becoming a bit of a recurring theme for the day, she was smoking and he wasn’t.  The girl had a mane of blond hair and was wearing a utilitarian green T-shirt and dark blue jeans that fit her farm girl image more than something really sexy would have.  I watched as she took multiple drags in the presence of this nonsmoking boyfriend and it was a very cute dynamic, especially given her age.  I took a few pics from the next bench over that turned out fairly well.  No bells and whistles to her style but after such a long dry spell it was nice to see Missouri come through with what I knew it had the potential to produce on Saturday…..sightings of cute teen girls publicly smoking.  She took a final drag and dropped the cigarette to the grass before she and the boyfriend got up to leave.  I walked over to their bench and identified the butt as a Marlboro Red.  I saw all kinds of Marlboro Reds last summer but they’ve been more rare in 2015, so it was all the more cute to see this very soft young girl smoking such a harsh cigarette and forcing her boyfriend to smell it on her.  It was definitely in my top-five sightings of the day and just might have been as high as my third best.

A very different sighting came next with Sighting #24, this mid-20s brunette in a sexy bare-midriff blouse with short jean shorts who had half of her face painted at some state fair stand that apparently did that sort of thing.  Her scruffy boyfriend was taking photos of her indicating to me she just had the face paint applied.  Apparently she was craving a cigarette during the painting because she had a freshly lit one in hand during her photo op.  I tried to get a photo of my own but it didn’t work out due to location.  The downside of the face painting is that it was hard to tell how pretty she was, but it was still a different and noteworthy sighting from a girl with a dramatic presentation, and that sort of thing was hard to come by at certain points on Saturday.

I saw a fair amount of decently attractive young mothers smoking in the next hour but few that really got my adrenaline going.  The best of the bunch was Sighting #32, a hot mid-20s blond in a cowgirl hat, a pink tanktop, and pale blue jean shorts who was with her nonsmoking husband and young son near the livestock barns.  Unfortunately, all I saw of her smoking was one final drag as I approached before she crushed the cigarette out on the pavement.  I got a better look at her as I walked past and confirmed she was the hottest young mommy sighting of the day.  But then I identified her discarded butt and discovered the unfamiliar brand name Exeter, which I figured was a regional generic.  The next morning I confirmed it when I stopped at a gas station and saw they were selling two generic brands I noticed on Saturday–Exeter and Decade–selling, respectively, for $22 and $24 a carton!  Hard to believe there’s anyplace in America where any carton of cigarettes sells for $22, but small-town Missouri is such a place.

I finally started ticking off sightings at a better clip during the 7:00 hour, and a group that had already produced one mediocre sighting produced another girl in Sighting #38, a brunette that had a bit of a Leah Remini vibe going wearing a flower-print dress who was finishing off her cigarette near a bar and grill.  I tried to get a decent photo but it didn’t take and before I could give it any more thought at all she crushed out the cigarette.  I’d get a second chance a half hour later on the midway, however, where the same significant group which I suspected included quite a few family members was waiting in line for this water ride and several of them were smoking again, including the dark-complected brunette hottie in the flower-print dress.  Sunset was approaching which made photo-taking more challenging but I got a decent shot of her approaching the cigarette to her lips.  I kept tabs on this group for a few minutes, even after she disposed of her cigarette because there was an adorable 16ish blond daughter in this group and I would have killed to see her smoke.  Alas, even though the gal that was confirmed as her mother was smoking, the daughter never did.

Right after sunset early in the 8:00 hour I scored my only other electric moment from the day that didn’t include one or more of the original trio.  It was the only “hunch” I followed that day that ended up bearing fruit for me.  The sighting started on the block full of bars when I saw this 19ish redhead who was too chubby to even count as a sighting smoking a cigarette in the company of this sweetheart of a 17-18ish wholesome and slender long-haired blond in a black T-shirt and dark jeans.  The duo drifted behind a barrier to a hidden area where I figured just maybe the young girl would smoke too.  Instead, the two girls met this late 30s brunette gal who was smoking and seemed to know them….possibly a relative.  The setting was so conspicuous and the blond teen was so adorable that I hovered in a very awkward spot to keep tabs on them.  A couple of minutes passed and there was no smoking to be seen by the young blond.  I drifted away figuring I wasn’t gonna get anything out of this but couldn’t resist looking over my shoulder towards the same group a minute or so later, just in case.  And my instinct finally served me well for the first time that day as I finally saw the impossibly adorable teen blond placing the half-smoked cigarette into her mouth and becoming Sighting #44.  I caught her at exactly the right time because seconds later the group was back on the block heading eastward, only now with the young girl holding the cigarette in her hand.  Where did this half-smoked cigarette come from?  The only place it could have come from was the late 30s brunette (possible mother) who apparently let the young blond finish her cigarette!  I followed closeby and was able to witness some very impressive smoking, with long drags and hugely cloudy exhales, one of which whacked an innocent fairgoer in the face as she walked.  This girl was no rookie and whatever inhibitions I originally suspected she may have had about smoking in public were dispelled.  I got to see four drags before she did what apparently all Missouri smoker girls do….she dropped the smoldering butt to the pavement without crushing it out and kept on walking, allowing me to easily ID the butt as a cork filter L & M.  I continued to follow and even though I knew my camera phone wouldn’t work well after sunset, I snapped a rear and side photo of this nicotine angel that, while blurry, turned out better than I expected.  The trio proceeded to the fairgrounds exit and went past the gate, leading me to believe I caught them in their final minutes at the fair that day.

And that certainly was my suspicion until I was back on the beer gardens block around 10:30 that night and suddenly spotted a group of 18-19 year olds hovering outside the “dance club” playing hip-hop music.  The chubby friend was there, along with my high school-aged blond beauty queen, and two other decently attractive girls both under 21.  There was only one problem.  It appears likely that I just missed the hot girl smoking.  The chubby friend was finishing her cigarette while the two other friends were just lighting up, both of them impressive enough to count as sightings but neither holding a candle to my blond.  As for the blond, she proudly held a pack of Marlboro Nxts in her hand…..but as I said I must have just missed her smoking.  The upside was that it was now official that this girl was a regular smoker who carried around her own cigarettes and that her generic L & M from earlier was simply one that she bummed.  The other upside was that I was standing so close to her in a very well-lit location that I was able to score a couple of photos of her that, while not entirely perfect, turned out better than any other photos I’ve ever taken outdoors at 10:30 p.m.  What a sweetheart she was…..but unfortunately she and the friends wandered into this dance club never to be seen again that night and I wouldn’t get the chance to see her smoke another cigarette.

Back to the 8:00 hour and back to a girl who was prominent in my sightings day but always took a backseat role being in the company of greatness.  The brunette from Sighting #11 who I first saw wander into Chuckie Dee’s bar with smoldering cigarette in hand and later sang karaoke lingered inside Chuckie Dee’s a good portion of the day, and I saw her smoking at least four times during that stretch.  Well right after I spotted the teen blond exiting the gates, I spotted the heavy-smoking brunette, in the company of the boyfriend and the sexy light brunette friend in the purple T-shirt and tight pale blue jean shorts approaching the gate to leave as well.  No surprise that the brunette had another cigarette in her hand as she walked off, but interestingly this time the light brunette friend had a pack of Camel Crushes in her hand.  But I hadn’t seen her smoking all day while I had seen the guy smoking so it was possible that she was carrying his pack.  Either way, I couldn’t count her as an official sighting and figured I wouldn’t get a chance as she and the dark brunette were leaving the grounds at that moment.  But lo and behold, 15 minutes later the same two 20-something gals were re-entering the grounds, perhaps having merely gone out to pick something up from their car, and this time they both had smoldering cigarettes in hand!  The dark brunette had yet another freshly lit cigarette that she brought inside the gates with her….and the light brunette in the purple top and jean shorts had a two-thirds cigarette in her hand.  It took about eight hours to make it official, but I could finally designate this hottie as Sighting #49.  I followed the gals as it appeared they were heading towards a women’s bathroom.  Unfortunately there was some guy sitting in a golf cart right near the entrance so I couldn’t stalk them undetected.  I was able to see the glow from the light brunette’s cigarette as she took her final drag from it and then tossed the butt to the grass.  The dark brunette was another story….she walked right into the bathroom with the cigarette in her hand!  I guess that shouldn’t have surprised me with her but it still seemed pretty jarring for the year 2015.  I attempted to locate the just-discarded butt from the light brunette but there were a bunch of butts in that immediate area making it hard to determine which was hers.  Plus that jerk in the golf cart was sitting there watching my every move so I had no choice but to abort the mission and head into the men’s bathroom.  I wouldn’t see either of those two addicts again that night.

I was hoping this burst of momentum would finally bring me something worthwhile on the midway, which had thus far been a disappointment despite my high early hopes of evening sightings of mid-teen girls.  I got three-quarters way through the midway when a voice inside me told me to turn right at the midway exit leading to a series of fair buildings that I hadn’t explored much that day.  Occasionally my instincts lead me to something worthwhile, but never could I have imagined the reward I was less than a minute from stumbling into.  As I approached a foursome that included three girls and one guy, an air of familiarity struck me instantly but it took a couple of seconds to realize that the trio of sexpot chainsmokers who started my day at the Missouri State Fair and occupied the majority of the afternoon were back….and had changed clothes!  This led me to believe they must live right here in Sedalia as they appeared to have left the fair to change their outfits, but I suppose it’s possible they simply brought a change of clothes in their car.  Either way, imagine my luck to have been in the right place at the right time to catch up with these girls AGAIN after five hours between encounters, extending the best sighting of the 2015 fair season into an evening encore.  The guy in the group was talking to another guy and motioning the girls to go do whatever they wanted to do, apparently under the terms that he’d catch up with them later.  What the girls wanted to do was apparently get some food as the three of them drifted towards a corn dog stand and I followed.  So what outfits did they change into?  The blond was now wearing a white top with a fringed midsection that largely covered the jean shorts she wore below the waist.  She was still sexy, but continued to come in third place in this high-end threesome.  My favorite wholesome light brunette in the Midwest who smoked the most during the day appeared to be wearing the same pink blouse along with a pair of tight jeans.  I guess I preferred her short jean shorts from earlier but she was rocking these tight blue jeans as well and seeing her in another outfit made this already wildly comprehensive sighting encounter all the more comprehensive.  But winning the outfit wars in the evening was that sexpot dark brunette, somehow managing to outdo her country girl ensemble from the daytime now decked out in a maroon tanktop with painted-on short black shorts that fit her muscular lower body like heaven.  I just may have been following the sexiest trio of early 20s gals in all of America!

The girls walked up to the corn dog stand and I had to be discreet not to get busted stalking them again, but found a bench across the street from their stand to observe and even snapped a couple of distant photos of them in their new outfits.  The pics didn’t really turn out but it was still kind of worth it for me.  They walked away with a single corn dog in the possession of my wholesome light brunette.  I had to keep my distance and ended up losing them in the crowd for less than a minute.  I’m assuming the girls collectively devoured the corn dog because it was gone by the time I caught up with them again, and they were progressing past the farm equipment on a now-vacant side street when it happened.  The cigarettes were coming out yet again.  A lighter ignited a cigarette to life in the blond’s mouth first and the fires kept popping up to ignite the tobacco cylinders in the other two girls’ mouths as well.  For the first time since noon, I was seeing all three of them smoking again.  It was only the second cigarette I had seen the blond smoke but this was the fourth cigarette of the sexy dark brunette, and the seventh cigarette of my favorite girl, the wholesome light brunette.  I had to follow from about 15 yards behind so as not to get busted but was able to see clouds of smoke exhaled from their mouths one after another during that joyous walk.  Where were they heading?  The very crowded beer gardens block of course.  I was hoping they’d hover outside the bar so I could watch them smoke the rest of their cigarettes, but what happened instead was almost as good.  The three sexpots with fresh cigarettes in their fingers weaved right through the crowd and strutted right into the bar with cigarettes in hand, where I can guarantee you that they turned most heads inside the bar because of both their beauty and their boldness.  I approached the entryway of the open-air bar and looked inside.  It was so crowded that I couldn’t see where they went…..but this story STILL hasn’t ended!

I stayed pretty close to that beer gardens block most of the rest of the night because I knew that was where most of the smoking action was gonna be, and plus I wanted to keep tabs on “the trio”.  I always weaved my way towards the entryway of that country bar the girls walked into and about 15 minutes after they arrived, there “she” was….that same wholesome light brunette, now in her pink blouse and tight jeans, standing there talking to a guy who also looked pretty wholesome sitting there on a chair across from where she was standing.  Once again, she was smoking a cigarette and he was not.  Apparently wholesome nonsmoking guys are the only kind of guys this girl fraternizes with, and as I watched her smoke her eighth cigarette of the day while sipping on a beer, it hit me that it could have been me sitting there flirting with this heavy-smoking cutie.  The price one has to pay at these fairs for obsessively tracking sightings is that you become too familiar to the smoker girls and look like hell from racing around the grounds in the hot sun becoming a pile of sweat to the point of having no chance of engaging socially.  Obviously I might not have been her type anyway, but I was really jealous of this guy who was in a position to watch her smoke from an even closer vantage point than me.  Her smoking style stayed consistent, taking nicely paced five-second drags with a pleasured look on her face followed a slightly skyward exhale right inside the bar, flashing that beautiful smile and infectious giggle regularly while socializing with this lucky guy who apparently had no problem dealing with her stench.

I even hit a sensory overload point in the middle of cutie’s eighth cigarette because, all at once, a bunch of other hotties were spilling out of the bar with cigarettes and lingering in my immediate area.  Two early 20s blonds stepped out and fired up to become Sightings #56 and #57, dancing around to the music with cigarettes in hand.  A beautiful mid-20s brunette in another group a few feet behind them lit up to become Sighting #58 but with so much going on I barely even got to see her.  Where were all these girls around 6 p.m. when I would have been able to appreciate them more!?!??!  All of those girls seemed to drift out of sight but the last one to light up stuck around close to me.  Sighting #59 was a really cute mid-20s long haired light brunette in a lime green tanktop and dark blue jeans standing very close to me and smoking an all-white.  I was positioned nicely to look to my left and watch her smoking very impressively, and then look to my right inside the bar to see the wholesome light brunette girl of the day releasing another blast of smoke to contaminate the air in the bar.  It was a few minutes of pure bliss and ended with the #59 girl outside with me dropping her cigarette to the ground and enabling to me ID her butt as a Camel Crush.  I’d see this girl again in the same general area and was able to get a close look at her wonderful ass with a pack of Camel Crushes stuffed into her back jeans pocket.

This beer gardens block was just off the midway which was convenient for me as it allowed me to explore the midway in a fruitless pursuit for young teen smokers yet still never be far away from that beer gardens block.  As for my favorite country bar with my favorite trio of girls inside, it had a back entrance that was also open-air and when I looked inside next I would see my wholesome light brunette line dancing to “Copperhead Road” with the guy she had just been talking to towards the front of the bar a few minutes earlier.  No cigarette in her hand while she danced but it was still a beautiful image and made me wonder how exhausted her black lungs must be at the end of that line dancing workout.  I kept tabs on that back entrance in case she was visible in there again and while she wasn’t, I caught other sightings back there, the most impressive being the duo of mid-20s brunettes that made up Sightings #64 and #65.  One girl had a big ugly tattoo on her shoulder and arm that kept me from being as into her as I was her friend.  The friend had a wholesome look about her with long dark brown hair going down her shoulders and was wearing a white low-cut tanktop with jean shorts.  Both gals were smoking right near the back entrance of that country bar and I got to see the last few drags from each.  Most memorable about the sighting was that my favorite girl finished her cigarette first and threw the smoldering cork filter butt at the foot of the steps to the entrance.  And about 30 seconds later, her tattooed friend did the same thing, finishing her cigarette and tossing the smoldering butt in front of her at the foot of the steps right outside the entrance, only inches from the friend’s pollution.  Seemed to kind of defy the purpose of stepping outside to smoke if you throw your still-burning cigarettes close enough to the door that the smoke trickles inside!  Anyway, the women walked up those steps back inside the bar.  There were two different brands of cigarettes lying there smoldering but I was only interested in the first girl’s, which was a cork filter Camel Crush Bold.

It was around 11:30 when I made my final pass down the midway with one more journey on that beer gardens block which was single-handedly making my evening.  And the evening would not be complete without one more fantastic sighting of the two star players of the “trio”, who were now outside the front entryway of the country bar smoking in the company of two nonsmoking guys, one of whom being the same guy that the wholesome light brunette was talking to and line dancing with earlier.  You gotta figure the girls stepped outside to smoke to enjoy a cool breeze and escape the heat from inside with all the sweaty dancers as it seems very unlikely that it was out of any inhibition about smoking inside given their body of work for the day so far!  Either way, there they were smoking their ninth and fifth cigarettes of the day that I witnessed, standing there puffing in front of these wholesome, nonsmoking guys who were enduring their ashtray aroma with smiles on their faces.  I hovered from a respectable distance admiring what I knew would be the last cigarette I’d see smoked from that beautiful light brunette who continued to drag fiercely on her beloved Camel Light Menthol while directing her cloudy exhales skyward.  I’m guessing this girl is a very heavy smoker even on a regular day but within the context of this beer-soaked day at the fair I bet she smoked at least two full packs on August 22, 2015.  And I also felt blessed to get one more upclose look at that scorching hot dark brunette friend in that smoldering maroon tanktop and tight black shorts, the hottest outfit of the entire Missouri State Fair, as she smoked away on her own cigarette with a typically slower pace than the more wholesome friend with blobbier and straight ahead exhales from her Marlboro Light Special Blends.  The final cigarette count from this trio would be nine cigarettes from the wholesome light brunette, five cigarettes from the sexpot dark brunette, and two cigarettes from the blond who only made cameos over the course of the day.  The nine cigarettes from the light brunette rivaled last year’s Iowa State Fair teen chainsmoker, albeit over the course of an entire day rather than just a couple of hours like last year’s girl.  A sighting that started out resembling last year’s #2 fairgrounds sighting ended up being a hybrid of last year’s #2 and #1, which is not at all a bad place to be.  Without a doubt, this “trio” who represented my Missouri State Fair baptism served me up the most comprehensive and longest-lasting sighting encounter of my life and will be immortalized forever on my blog as a result.  The Minnesota State Fair really has its work cut out for it in the next two weeks to upstage this masterpiece.

And while the final sighting of the trio was ongoing, something else was playing out just to my left.  This late 30s or early 40s gal was standing there smoking in the presence of three 17-18ish girls.  I’m not sure what their connection was but given that I was distracted by my favorites of the day I didn’t dwell too much on the teen girls figuring they must not smoke or they would be then and there.  However, the cutest girl of the group, a wholesome, long-haired brunette in a white tanktop and jean shorts, was coughing semiregularly during the group conversation.  I suppose it could have been that she had a cold, but something just struck me as “smoker’s cough” about the tone of the cough.  So I started paying attention to her, admiring her sexy teenage body and noticing that there was a rectangular shape in both of the back pockets of her jean shorts.  The rectangle in her right asscheek was a phone, but what about that rectangle on the left?  I took a closer look and discovered it was a pack of blue Pall Malls, which I believe are lights.  Whoa!  This girl didn’t look like a smoker at all but given that she was in sole possession of them and had the cough to boot was enough for me to qualify her as Sighting #73.  If I could just get her to light up!  Unfortunately, she wouldn’t, and she and her friends soon drifted from in front of the country bar to inside the next door “dance club” where my 18ish blond cutie wandered into about an hour earlier.  It was rough to let this one go because I have a feeling she would have been a grand slam find, but at 11:45 at night, I just had to come to terms with this one not playing out and being happy with the fact that she was pretty close to a confirmed sure-thing smoker.

Before I left I thought I’d make one more pass on the backside of the country bar.  I didn’t find any members of my “trio” but I did see a group of four 20-somethings with three girls and a guy, this guy being a chubby bubba.  The girl next to him with a freshly lit cigarette seemed way above his pay grade but it sure seemed as though they were a couple.  Sighting #74 was a slender and beautiful blond wearing a bare midriff white top and white shorts.  She was a knockout beauty and that long cigarette between her fingers was the best possible accessory to compliment her image.  Various members of this group seemed to make me right away, making my efforts to watch her smoke very challenging.  I saw a few drags, all of which were very nice with combination nasal-and-mouth exhales that followed.  The group began migrating southward and the guy and girl kept going towards the bathroom.  She still had at least half of her cigarette left so I hoped I see her finish it before going into the bathroom.  Instead, she took a deep drag that made the cherry glow a bright red in the dark and then, once again, walked right into the bathroom with cigarette in hand.  Sexy as that was, I really wanted a butt ID from her.  I waited on a bench near the men’s bathroom just in case she was still smoking the cigarette when she exited, but she wasn’t.  I walked past her in hopes of seeing the pack stuffed in her ass.  I think it may have been a pack of Parliaments but I didn’t get a close enough look.

And while I was waiting outside the bathroom for that hot blond to emerge, another adorable sighting played out as this middle-aged woman approached the women’s bathroom with two early 20s gals, one of whom had a cigarette.  Sighting #76 was a cute 22ish light brunette in a flower-print dress who also appeared poised to walk into the women’s bathroom with her half-smoked cigarette until a couple of other young women met her at the door with the warning that there are “no paper products in the bathroom” at the exact moment the brunette smoker was taking a drag.  She repeated the line back to them as if confirming she heard what she thought she did through an exasperated talking exhale, with wisps of smoke flowing from her mouth and nose as she expressed her displeasure that the bathroom was not fully equipped.  She then turned around to repeat to the older woman the bad news and they began walking away as the smoker girl said something that began with “Mom….” to the older woman.  A hot young daughter smoking in front of mom.  Seemed like a nice flourish to end the 2015 Missouri State Fair.

I got one more mediocre sighting as I walked to the gate and made the long walk through the parking lot back to my car in weather that somehow, against all odds, had stayed dry despite forecasts for inevitable mid-evening rain that ultimately didn’t come down until about 3 a.m.  There were still a fair amount of cars in the lot and I suspected most of them were locals, and the whole Missouri State Fair experience felt somewhat like a “Sedalia County Fair” experience as I bet the majority of the visitors were either locals or people from neighboring counties.   I walked away with what would typically seem like a disappointing haul of 77 sightings over the course of more than 12 hours of fetishing.  But never before has a 77-sighting day yielded the nearly 11,000-word writeup that this one did, with more than half dedicated to a trio of girls who dominated the day in every way a day can be dominated.  I’m planning another road trip next August that will bring me to Sedalia, Missouri, again for an encore, but the Missouri State Fair is not gonna be part of my regular routine beyond that.  It felt like my maiden voyage was a fluke that became legendary only because of incredible luck with a specific group of girls always lighting up wherever I happened to be on the grounds, and that the late afternoon and early evening hours of bleakness are more likely to be the standard experience at the Missouri State Fair.  Even so, the day was good enough to earn an encore in 2016.  I got some midnight chicken tenders at Burger King and rested before my road trip to the Ozarks the next day.  I’m still very excited about two Saturdays in a row at the Minnesota State Fair coming up, which will almost certainly produce the highest number of sightings as it does every year simply because of the huge crowds, but my home state really has to step up its game to match the show that a certain group of girls in Missouri put on for me a week earlier!




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2015 Iowa State Fair, Day 2

As always, I took a midweek afternoon second junket to the Iowa State Fair last evening, although for the first time it occurred on a Thursday evening rather than the typical Wednesday evening.  Why the change?  November weather in August!  On Tuesday, it rained pretty much all day and all night with a wave of cold and windy air moving in the following day.  The contemporary country duo Dan and Shay was performing on the free stage Wednesday night and I figured that would bring in a favorable demographic of sexy country girls, so I really wanted to go that night, but the cold weather misery would have been a nightmare.  I had already taken Thursday off work in anticipation of going to the fair afterwards, but instead just bumped the timeline.  Now typically, I go to the fair on Wednesdays after 5 p.m. and get in at half price and had the intention to do the same thing on Thursday night this year, but I got restless mid-Thursday afternoon and made the decision to go in there earlier even if I had to pay full price to get in.  The weather was just too nice and the fair comes around too rarely.  I ended up arriving at the grounds at 3:30, giving me an hour and a half more fetish time than usual.  With nothing but blue skies and girls dressed in their summer best for the next 8 1/2 hours, I was a very happy man walking into those fairgrounds.

The evening itself was a bit of a surprise.  The country group Alabama was the main grandstand act and going in I didn’t think they’d draw in anybody under 35, but they drew in a surprisingly large crowd and the concert went long, meaning the grounds weren’t as hollowed out after 11:00 as they usually are on weeknights.  The fairgrounds was pretty heavily populated in general and I scored an impressive 89 sightings, my second best haul ever for a half-day junket.  Now I did cheat with an hour and a half extra fetish time than usual which produced 10 sightings, but even so my smoker girl head count easily exceeded the 61 and 68 sightings of the previous two midweek trips.  Qualitywise, I scored one top-shelf sighting during the daytime hours but otherwise was a little frustrated by the lack of genuinely impressive finds.  That changed in the final half hour when the ISF girls came through in the clutch with a couple more stunners, including a returning favorite from Day 1 who finally showed me what she was made of with a great storyline sighting.  Anyway, on with the show…..

I had been to the grounds less than a half hour when my first girl of consequence emerged on the scene on the block just north of the east side beer gardens.  Two couples were heading north as I was walking south but one girl of the group of four is who compelled me to reverse course.  Sighting #4 was a really cute nerd, a long-haired brunette with glasses who I figured was 21, give or take a year, wearing a gray T-shirt and this epic pair of black leggings showing off every luscious curve of her perfect body.  If only I had my camera ready when I first saw them and was able to get a shot of her walking in those leggings. She and the guy I figured was her boyfriend were walking with unlit cigarettes protruding from their fingers while an older couple walking with them were cigarette-free.  They all gathered on a bench and as luck would have it, I was able to sit on the bench just to their right.  Positioning wasn’t perfect because the boyfriend sat closest to me, but my nerdy smoker girl cooperated by leaning forward and allowing me to get some solid photos of her smoking.  I wish I had gotten the light-up pic though as she and the boyfriend both placed different brands in their mouths (his was cork filter while hers was all-white) and they fired up at about the same time, their respective respiratory systems inhaling smoke at the exact moment.  After that though, I was luckily able to watch undetected from the side and spot my sweet little brunette taking lengthy pulls from her cigarette and exhaling nice straight-ahead cones after her drags.  It was a solid show, and I noticed the boyfriend had a beer while the girl didn’t, which doesn’t prove anything but makes me suspect she was probably just under 21.  She crushed the all-white out and left it below the bench when finished.  I hoped they’d leave because I wanted a pic of her in those leggings but they hung around.  I ended up leaving but when I returned I found their now-vacant bench and identified her discarded all-white butt as a Camel Crush.  I’d see the group again sitting on a bench outside The Depot bar (again him drinking and her not).  I tried to get a shot of her ass in those leggings as she sat but it didn’t turn out.  Definitely amongst my top-5 sightings of the day.

My next sighting came on the outskirts of yet another fairgrounds bar, this time one of the bars on the concourse just outside the midway.  As I was walking by I saw a cloud of smoke arise from a nicely-dressed blond and moved her direction.  Sighting #5 had a great presentation, her blond hair flowing past her shoulders onto a white flower-print blouse with dark jeans below, with some badass sunglasses covering her eyes.  It was tough to get a handle on her age because of the sunglasses but she had a weathered smoker girl look about her that was quite sexy.  I’d guess she was about 32 but it was a tough call.  She was distracted talking on her phone allowing me to take a decent pic.  Her smoking was beautiful, skillfully juggling the phone and the cigarette and going in for very nice drags with gigantic, high-volume exhales to follow.  I saw about five drags before she dropped the cigarette and returned to the bar.  Her cigarette was a Marlboro Light.  About an hour later, I’d see the same blond standing alone once again in almost the same spot smoking yet another Marlboro Light, and doing so just as adorably as she did before.

One of my stranger sightings of the day context-wise came next at the edge of the midway.  A pair of 20-somethings were sitting in the shade smoking, and I figured it was boyfriend and girlfriend.  The Sighting #6 girl was impressive, a mid-20s brunette with big light brown hair, sunglasses, a navy blue tanktop, and light blue jean shorts with smooth legs extending from them.  I got a couple of pics from different angles and watched a modestly impressive smoking show transpire.  The weird part was the person with her, who I first anticipated was a very wimpy guy in a ball cap, blue T-shirt, and jeans, but as I got a closer look I noticed it was not a guy at all but a very butch girl.  Presumably she was the “guy” in the lesbian relationship while the sexy brunette was the “girl”.  Whatever works for them I guess!  I’d see the same two on the south side of the grounds a couple of hours later, both taking out another round of cigarettes to smoke again.

I progressed into the midway soon after the last sighting and would score again in a big way only moments later.  A duo of 18ish blonds was coming from the other direction, and the hotter of the two girls had a cork filter cigarette in hand.  The presentation of my Sighting #8 blond was what most dazzled, her long blond hair flowing down her back onto a hot pink tanktop with a leopard-print midsection flowing into a pair of black leggings that framed her killer lower body amazingly.  The face wasn’t unattractive but it didn’t match the sizzle of the presentation as she had some acne issues, but she was still pretty cute and quite a bit better than the nonsmoking blond friend.  She paraded through that midway with cigarette in hand unapologetically, strutting past carnies and dozens of other fairgoers taking drags from her cigarette with no inhibition.  I followed mostly from behind getting some great photos of a cigarette held in stinky fingers right next to this hot body, but she was walking so fast that it was hard to position myself for a frontal photo.  I eventually pulled off an okay side photo.  There was no definitive “style” to speak of but it sure was nice seeing a girl this age repeatedly exhaling smoke from her mouth in front of everybody.  She and the friend marched out of the midway and towards the south side where I continued to follow, hoping for the butt ID.  Unfortunately she was a considerate smoker who crushed out her cigarette against a tree and then found a garbage can to toss the butt into, denying me the butt ID.  Even so, the most impressive “butt” in this sighting belonged to the girl herself in those leggings, and I got it captured on camera!

The 5:00 hour arrived and I had 10 sightings already by the point I would normally just be entering the gates.  As the hour progressed my next memorable sighting frustrated throughout but did at least produce something noteworthy after a 10-minute investment.  I was in front of the horse building on the fairgrounds’ southwest side when this complete loser of an 18-year-old guy sat against the wall smoking.  In his company were two very cute 17-18ish girls in T-shirts and tight leggings.  They were both listening to this dopey smoker guy whose brain was already very clearly fried beyond repair but after several minutes waiting to see if either of the girls would smoke and neither doing so, I walked to the nearby Bud Light stage to see if anything was going on there, keeping that trio in front of the horse building in mind and deciding to double back and make one more pass after leaving the Bud Light stage area.  Hallelujah!  One of the two girls in leggings now had a smoldering cigarette between her fingers and becoming Sighting #15.  Now the smoker girl was the light brunette in the neon yellow T-shirt and not the girl I slightly preferred, the dark blond in the tie-dye T-shirt who never smoked, but I was still thrilled to see an 18ish girl with such a great leggings-draped body smoking.  I got a couple of pics from the bench, including one of her in mid-drag and was settling in to enjoy a nice show.  But that didn’t happen as that idiot guy once again stole my thunder, requesting the girl’s cigarette and never giving it back.  The blond said “Geez you smoke a lot” to the guy as the other girl handed him the cigarette when the guy responded in his annoying voice “Dude, I gotta. I ain’t got no weed!”   Suffice it to say this guy qualifies as the goat of the 2015 Iowa State Fair, and we can expect far more like him when the time comes that marijuana is legalized and even more normalized than today.

The bathroom area at the edge of the midway comes through quite a bit and delivered again last night with two slightly chubby but still attractive 21ish girls leaning against the edge of the grandstand.  They were both wearing identical white T-shirts with the word “Lite” written on them and very similar medium blue jeans.  At first I figured only the Sighting #19 ponytailed blond was smoking as I saw her light-up and was smoking again after I briefly drifted away from this sighting in pursuit of something else and returned a couple of minutes later.  But apparently the other girl got in on the action too as with a few drags left on the cigarette, the blond passed the cigarette to the Sighting #20 brunette, who was a little prettier but also a little bit chubbier.  The brunette put the cigarette to rest and then the two of them turned around and headed towards the grandstand gate.  I figured there was some significance to their identical white T-shirts and it became clear when they had their backs to me and I saw the words “Grandstand Staff” on the back.  Love the idea of stinky grandstand workers desperately waiting to run outside and light up as many chances at they get.

The next sighting came in the south side seating area, an area that has delivered in spades in the past but was pretty ho-hum this year.  In fact, Sighting #21 last night may have been its shining moment in 2015 as I approached a mid-20s brunette in a plaid shirt and black leggings wielding a half-smoked cigarette in her right hand.  Seconds after my arrival came a guy I figured was her husband along with a young daughter who were both drenched.  The south side seating area has a fountain spring where little kids cool off on warm days and apparently dad got in on this while mom sat back and smoked.  She was only modestly attractive but I still found it a hot context for a sighting, and mom finished her cigarette in front of dad and daughter, directing her exhales to the right while the father and daughter excitedly talked about the fountain fun.

Overall the crowd wasn’t as young as I’d prefer at the fair last night but there were still plenty of sexy young hotties in slutty outfits to be found, and a trio of 19ish babes in bare-midriff tanktops and short shorts I had taken note of earlier were front and center in the next sighting.  Another goofy late teen guy was smoking a cigarette in their presence on the concourse and I hovered in case one of three sexpot girls in his presence would follow suit.  After only two drags from the guy, the cigarette was indeed passed to one of the girls.  My Sighting #25 was a long-haired redhead with a silly-looking sideways baseball cap in a tie-dye bare midriff top with fringes hanging over her bare belly and a pair of jean shorts with cowgirl boots below.  She was a hot smoker who didn’t seem to mind that she was exhaling her smoke right into the middle of the huddle of her friends.  Now I was greedy here as there was a brunette friend in the huddle who was even hotter, with a perfect bare midriff and green shorts.  She ultimately wouldn’t smoke but I still got a sweet show from the redhead who smoked very nicely and finished off the cigarette without giving it back to the guy, at one point even asking him if he wanted it back but with the guy saying no.  I got a few pics, including one of her in mid-drag, although there were shadow issues so close to sunset.  She smoked it nearly to the filter and treated me to about 10 solid drags with cloudy exhales.  After she finished the cigarette, she crushed it out beneath her boot and drifted off with the friends.  The discarded cigarette was an L & M, not one of my favorites but any kind of cigarette smoked by a girl like this meets with my approval.  I’d get another cameo from this cutie at night’s end.

They removed some seating in the center of the fairgrounds where the concourse and south side street convene.  It didn’t cramp my style too much over this year’s ISF and probably worked to my advantage with a cluster of gals of various ages who I assumed were related in some capacity stood in the area where the seating used to be acting very much like tobacco was about to be consumed.  Little did I know it would become my sighting of the night.  One gal pretty much dominated this cluster in terms of beauty, a very thin mid-20s dark brunette with sunglasses in a lacy white dress with cowgirl boots who exuded sex appeal and looked very much like a smoker.  Besides her, there was a chubbier but still attractive brunette who looked about the same age as well as a couple of older women, one of whom looked like she was in her 50s and the other who looked like she was in her 60s.  My brunette beauty in the white dress started fishing around in her purse and I positioned myself with my fingers crossed that my instinct was right….and sure enough out came a pack of Marlboro Lights, of which she extracted one for herself and passed another on to the chubbier friend.  When they lit up, they became Sightings #28 and #29.  It turns out all four women smoked but I only really paid attention to one of them, and did she ever have a lot to show me.  The girl loved to dangle and loved to dangle-drag even more, always with her cigarette perched in the dead center of her mouth.  I got a couple of pictures of her in mid-dangle but there was something very specific and adorable she did three times on this cigarette.  She placed that beautiful all-white cigarette in her mouth, let go, and then started playing with her hair as if bunching it in a ponytail.  It must have been a nervous tick of hers and it couldn’t have possibly been cuter as her cheeks sucked in to absorb the cancerous smoke into her black lungs.  And as luck would have it, I got a photo of her doing this routine–dangle dragging while playing with her hair. Her exhales were nice too once she got around to removing the cigarette from her mouth sometimes turning her head to the left to release a tight missile of smoke from her mouth and noise which progressed straight forward.  She was a truly skillful smoker with the most intriguing technique I’ve seen all fair season.  The fact that she was so hot, was likely smoking in the presence of her mother and sister, and wearing this highly feminine white dress made the show all the more delicious.  I watched every wonderful moment of her smoking, with dangling drags of some variation on almost every drag, before she became the first of the four women to retire her cigarette, dropping it to the street and crushing it out with the boot.  I knew it was a Marlboro Light but when the other women finished smoking and walked away, I proceeded to the discarded butt to make sure and confirmed it.  This would likely have been my favorite of the night even if it had been the only time I saw her smoke…but it wasn’t.  To be continued….

The east side beer gardens has been THE prime spot for Iowa State Fair sightings this year and last and came through again for me last night, although Sightings #33 and #34 got off to a frustrating start.  I approached two early 20s couples where three of the four participants had cigarettes in hand as I arrived.  Both girls were sexy summer blonds in tanktops and jean shorts and one of them had a cigarette…..that she was crushing out the second I approached.  The other girl, who I favored a bit more, did not have a cigarette but her boyfriend did.  He handed her the cigarette and she took a final drag before stomping it out.  I was able to see that both of their cigarettes were Marlboro Lights just in time for them to walk back into the open-air beer gardens.  I had seen enough to verify that they were my aforementioned Sightings #33 and #34 but I wanted so much more from them as I walked away.  It would take a couple of hours but I would get my deferred gratification as both couples were walking outside again and I arrived in time to see both girls firing up their all-whites.  I stood closeby and eyeballed them, particularly my favorite of the two in her white tanktop and pale blue jean shorts who I happened to have the best vantage point of anyway.  The first drag I saw from her was weak with a shallow exhale which disappointed me, but as she continued with the cigarette her drags got deeper and her exhales got cloudier.  She made eyes with me at point and smiled so I knew I couldn’t hover forever or I’d get busted with her boyfriend right there, but I stuck around for one more drag which she hit out of the park, and then proceeded to fire a juicy lugie over a fence surrounding a plant.  It was a very unlikely display from this very feminine cutie, who I was pleased to get a second show from after the early evening appetizer.

Considering that their heyday was three decades ago and they haven’t had any hits at all in 15 years, I was surprised with the size of the crowd that Alabama was bringing in, and while there weren’t many teens among them, there were a good number of attractive 20 and 3o-somethings.  One of the best sightings I got before the show was Sighting #36, this beautiful  blond with shoulder-length hair flowing onto a maroon tanktop with very tight-fitting jeans and boots below.  She was a knockout and looked like she was probably late 20s.  She was smoking with a boyfriend who looked quite a bit older, at least 40.  It’s possible she was older than she looked and he was younger, but however old she was she was hot as hell and smoked wonderfully, taking nice long drags and releasing solid exhales.  It was approaching dusk and my photo-taking window was fast closing.  I got one pretty decent pic of her mid-exhale but my other two are a little blurry.  I had a pretty good bench allowing me to observe her smoke almost the entire cigarette.  Adorably, the husband crushed out the cigarette and held onto it, preparing to throw it into the nearest garbage can.  But blondie?  She dropped hers to the pavement a minute or so later and crushed it out before walking away.  I love it when the girl is more obnoxious than the guy.  I walked up and IDed the butt as a Camel Menthol.

Suffice it to say that wasn’t the only sighting facilitated by the Alabama concert, both before and after.  The show seemed late to start and about a half hour after the previous sighting there remained a substantial line to get into the grandstand show, with some smokers hovering around getting their final nicotine fix.  Included in this group was none other than the female foursome that was the high point of my night so far.  Despite the country girl wardrobe of the younger women in the group, it hadn’t occurred to me that they’d be attending the Alabama concert but it certainly seemed now as though they were….at least after another cigarette.  Once again, the star of the show was the long-haired dark brunette in the white dress, whose technique hadn’t changed from an hour earlier.  I was not in a position to observe them from upclose this time, particularly since I had already been right up in their grills watching an hour earlier, but the crowd was such that I was able to do a circular motion around them from afar and take in some of that brunette’s great technique.  Again, most of her drags occurred mid-dangle, the best of which came when she was playing with her hair and forming a brief makeshift ponytail between her fingers, only now with the after-dark context of the cherry of her cigarette glowing a bright red as she dangle-dragged.  She smoked at a very nice pace which worked for my timeline as I was able to see about six of those drags before deciding I should press on and not push my luck.  But you never know, there might just be another sighting from this girl yet to come.

I made another run in the midway after this, my first after sunset and scored a major winner in Sighting #43.  An older couple stood with a younger couple and a child chatting in between midway games, and only one person in the group was a smoker.  Amazingly, it was the attractive and incredibly wholesome-looking late 20s ponytailed blond in a white tanktop and a long blue skirt.  How on Earth did this girl ever become a smoker, I thought to myself, readying my phone thinking that the midway lights might create just enough brightness to help me pull off a couple of photos.  They’re blurry but they turned out decently.  Then it was just a matter of admiring her smoking performance, which was stunning in itself.  I’ve long enjoyed the sight of a pretty girl turning her head skyward to release an exhale, but this girl turned her head skyward even to take her drags.  I may have seen this once or twice before, but it’s rare, and the pleasured look on her face as she tilted her head up and sucked in poisons from that cigarette and then exhaled her smoke in the same direction seconds later, was one of the enduring images of August 20, 2015.  Even more fascinating was that this dynamic was playing out amidst casual midway conservation with the equally wholesome guy I assumed to be her husband along with the older couple I suspected were either her parents or his.  I only got to see three drags before the cigarette was finished and she crushed it out on the pavement with her shoes.  The two parties then drifted and the young boy who looked about six, and who I hadn’t even really taken note of up to that point, was walking with the blond I assumed was his smelly mom and his dad to explore additional carnival games.  It was another extra base hit on a night that seemed to be gathering momentum at this point.

The momentum was stop and go but I regained it around 9:20 when the evening free stage concerts started to disperse.  I was at 50 sightings on the night when I arrived on the east side when the two main free stage concerts were letting out and picked up several right off the bat.  Unfortunately, the two best sightings from the crowd vacating the stage shows occurred at the exact same time.  I had forgotten about the stage way up the east side hill until I saw a mass of humanity descending the hill when it ended.  I walked over there right in time to see Sighting #55, a cute 21ish curly-haired brunette in a plaid shirt and black leggings with cigarette in hand.  But right as I was gonna follow her, I noticed Sighting #56 standing still as #55 walked past her.  It was a complete draw which one to go with, but since #56, a long-haired dark blond in a green top and tight jeans and a great ass inside of them who also looked early 20s, was standing there and thus easier to observe while also eyeballing all the other concertgoers descending the hill by the hundreds, I stayed put to watch #56.  And it was a decent if unspectacular show as the girl, one of two smokers (the other one was male) in a group of four standing there chatting was pretty good at what she did, even if it wasn’t the kind of performance that will be remembered years from now.  The group starting moving towards the end of her cigarette and I followed, hoping for a butt ID.  But after he final drag, she stopped at a garbage can, crushed the cigarette out, and tossed it inside, denying me the butt ID.  Should I have stuck with the original girl (Sighting #55) I thought to myself?  It turned out that at least in this case I could have it both ways as I would see #55 again about an hour and a half later!

Next to impress was a duo of early 20s gals in front of the beer gardens off the concourse in the center of the fairgrounds.  I spotted from afar this tiny redhead wielding a cigarette who from a distance looked like she was about 11 but upclose it was clear she was just a petite 21-ish girl wearing a black summer dress.  She was in the company of a light brunette in a tanktop and jean shorts who wasn’t as pretty but was still cute and had a nice girl-of-summer presentation.  Sightings #62 and #63 were towards the end of their respective cigarettes hovering on the sidewalk but I did get to see one solid drag and impressive cloudy exhale from the little redhead.  I didn’t even see what became of their cigarettes, largely because of the heavy foot traffic, but the sample left me wanting for more…..and I would get more less than 10 minutes later when I spotted the same duo sitting on a bench on the south side of the grounds.  The redhead already had another cigarette going when I arrived but the light brunette in the jean shorts was just lighting up another.  After that, the redhead just sat there, looking a little bit drunk as she dragged impressively on her cigarette, exhaling the same voluminous waves of smoke that I saw 10 minutes earlier with every drag, and sitting in a spot lit well enough that I was able to observe them and still appreciate the magnitude of smoke spilling out of her facial orifices.  Meanwhile the light brunette was getting in line at nearby vendor stand, placing an order while holding her cigarette to her right.  She took a drag and exhaled to her left so I doubt any of her exhale filtered inside the stand but as the guy handed her the beverage she grabbed it with her cigarette hand so it certainly didn’t escape his notice that girly was an addicted cigarette smoker.  She returned to the bench and the girls shared a soft drink of some sort while continuing to smoke their cigarettes.  The redhead obviously finished hers off first but when it became apparent that they weren’t going anywhere I took off, wishing I could ID their cigarette butts but ultimately deciding that taking advantage of this crowd while it was still pretty large was more important in the final two hours of the night.

Even though I was hitting extra-base hits on a decently regular basis last night, there were still plenty of very forgettable barely qualifiers that were part of the evening’s haul, a little more than usual even.  But I found something special leaving the east side beer gardens area around 10:30 when I spotted a boyfriend and girlfriend walking westward.  The boyfriend was already smoking and the girl was placing an unlit all white into her mouth.  Sighting #71 seemed as wholesome as could be from afar, about 25 years old with shoulder length light brown hair cresting on a white tanktop with black shorts below the waist.  She was another girl who didn’t seem at all like someone who would smoke and it gave me that much more of a thrill when she approached the lighter towards the dangling cigarette between her lips and fired up.  From there, there were a few moments of frustration and disappointment as I followed them for blocks and blocks west of the concourse with the girl taking only a couple of drags over the course of like five minutes.  She was one of the slowest smokers I’d ever seen….at least until she wasn’t anymore.  The Alabama concert just ended and as is the ritual, the second a concert ends, the State Fair fireworks erupted into the evening sky.  The dynamic of the sighting changed as the loving couple stopped in their tracks in the middle of the concourse and turned to watch the fireworks and girly became far more active in attacking that cigarette in her hand.  It was convenient for me as I now had a still vantage point to watch them watching the fireworks from pretty closeby.  Her technique was pretty nice too, and the boyfriend had long ago finished off his cigarette so the only smoke coming from this couple at this point was coming from the girl who dragged admiringly from the cigarette while watching the fireworks, ultimately leaning back into the arms of the boyfriend having found a comfortable spot and apparently a romantic vibe emerged.  At one point she lifted her non-cigarette hand up and began to stroke his beard from behind with her nicotine-stained fingers.  As soon as the fireworks ended, she took her final drag from the cigarette that was lit some 10 minutes earlier and crushed it out before the couple walked away.  The cigarette was a Marlboro Nxt.

The fireworks represented the Alabama concert ending and for me that marked a wave of people exiting the grandstand, including a flurry of nicotine-addicted females desperate for their next fix.  There were no shortage of them among the large crowd that just departed the grandstand.  One of the best was Sighting #77, a cute early 20s blond in a black dress and cowgirl boots who was smoking with her boyfriend in the presence of a nonsmoking couple.  The first exhale I saw from her sailed directly into the face of the nonsmoking female friend.  She was more careful with the subsequent exhales, however, as the four of them stood there lightheartedly talking directing them skyward and creating a hazy, toxic mess at a higher altitude than the original exhale in the friend’s face.  She really seemed to be enjoying the hell out of that cigarette as one would imagine given that she was at the smoke-free concert for nearly two hours, and the pleasure on her face was obvious right up to the final drag and skyward exhale, where she dropped the butt to the grass.

Sightings were fast and furious in this period with so many people leaving the grandstand and I figured the bathroom area outside the grandstand would probably produce some sightings too.  And it was there I saw Sighting #80, a family of mostly middle-aged people with one exception….an early 20s light brunette cowgirl in jean shorts with a wholesome face who nonetheless joined in with the rest of the family for a postconcert cigarette.  Unfortunately I arrived late to the show and only caught two drags before the cigarette was expired.

But then again maybe not so unfortunate.  As the grandstand was emptying out there was one smoker girl in particular who I knew attended that Alabama concert that I was most interested in seeing again.  And as I turned the corner around the grandstand, there she was with the rest of her all-female group….the slender dark brunette in the tight white dress with the affinity for dangling drags.  And it should come as a surprise to nobody that she was smoking again with the rest of them.  Again though, 100% of my attention was laser-focused on her as I stood to their left undetected and watched her smoke her entire cigarette, this time appearing to up her pace from the previous two outings as I’m sure her blackened lungs were particularly starved for nicotine after the long concert.  And while her pace picked up, her style didn’t change.  Long six-second dangling drags were still the rule rather than the exception, with dangling drags as she played with her hair coming two more times.  I’m not sure if it was a lighting issue this time or not but I wasn’t able to see her exhales very well, save for one.  Perhaps it was less about lack of lighting preventing me from seeing the smoke exiting her mouth and more about the fact that her lungs weren’t letting any of the smoke out of them after two hours of cruel deprivation.  Either way, she finished her cigarette long before the others in her group and I noticed her beginning to walk away from the spot, clearly without a cigarette in her hand anymore, while nudging the other females to move it along and follow her even though they were all still smoking.  I watched them walk away for the final time last night and confirmed again that she was without a cigarette.  So where did it go?  I walked around in the area where she stood and a glowing beacon of burning red tobacco lay on the grass, the smoldering remains of a Marlboro Light that she had disposed of seconds earlier.  If there was any doubt that she was my best girl of the night, that doubt was no longer in dispute.  Interestingly, however, the remaining 45 minutes of the night would produce some worthy contenders to keep her from single-handedly running away with the evening.

And that next sparkling moment came within the next 10 minutes, and curiously I can’t assign serial numbers to either of the two girls who were the stars of the sighting….because I already have!  I was walking in front of the beer gardens in the center of the grounds once again and spotted a face that was instantly familiar right before spotting another face that was familiar.  But it was the first of the two girls who intrigued me most.  My Sighting #86 from night one at the ISF was a beautiful 21ish blond with a dramatic face that just beamed sunshine and good energy.  On two occasions an hour apart I saw her smoking, but only got in on the tail end of both of her shows.  But tonight my luck was different as she was back, this time decked out in a short black dress and looking even more sugary sweet and wholesome, and extracting a fresh all-white cigarette from an as-yet undefined pack of Marlboros.  In a moment of extreme coincidence she was poised to my 86th sighting of Thursday night just as she was my 86th sighting of Saturday night.  She lit up that all white and made it official.  There were two other females and three males in her group, and one of the other females was that curly-haired 21ish light brunette in the plaid top and leggings who was my #55 sighting after the concert ended….and she was lighting up another cigarette too.  Worlds were now colliding in the best way and I was settling in for a glorious two-for-one sighting.  But first the sighting had to take a terrifying turn….

This short Asian guy in the group who was providing comic relief for everybody thus far requested a hit from blondie’s cigarette, which she granted him….just before the group started walking away, immersed in different conversations in a way that made me think blondie was not gonna get her cigarette back.  But she kept her eye on the prize here, and after the Asian guy took his second drag she adorably yelled out “Hey give it back” but there was too much chaos among the drifting group for her demand to be immediately fulfilled.  Mercifully, she was undeterred, picking up speed and playfully grabbing the Asian guy by the arm to forcibly retrieve the cigarette that was rightfully hers.  Clearly this girl has some major league addiction issues that needed to be assuaged and perhaps fearing for his safety, he relented and handed her back the cigarette without a fight.  The group settled near the entryway of the east side beer gardens and blondie was now in possession of her all-white cigarette again so all was right with the world.  The group laughed and enjoyed each other’s company as the two smelly females continued to drag on their cigarettes, polluting the air quality with their stinky exhales repeatedly.  The light brunette was decent but was once again upstaged by this bubbling-over-with-IT-factor blond beauty in her black party dress, who gave me a taste of her cloudy and messy exhales on Saturday night but delivered far more where that came from tonight.  Her drags were nicely paced, deep, and clearly very pleasurable for her, and while her exhales were fairly messy as mentioned, there was also some nice streams of smoke escaping both her mouth and nose…..

But the sighting’s best moment came at the end when the storyline from before came around full-circle.  It was clear blondie was taking what would be her final drag from the cigarette when the same Asian guy who hijacked her cigarette a few minutes earlier approached her and held his out again for another hit.  Blondie was about to get her revenge in the cruelest way when she looked at him with a shit-eating grin and then dramatically dropped the cigarette to the pavement and crushed it out beneath her foot.  Hell hath no fury like a gorgeous addicted smoker girl scorned!  It was quite a moment but all in good fun and they both laughed about it after it ended.  The moocher guy then moved onto the light brunette whose cigarette still had a drag or two left, finished off hers and acted like the class clown while doing so to the amusement of his friends before the group drifted off again.  It was time to ID blondie’s cigarette butt.  Sure enough, it was a Marlboro Ultra Light, her same brand from Saturday night.  This night was really starting to get good!

And the good fortune continued seconds after my last group departed as I ventured northward on the block by the east side beer gardens to see another beautiful brunette sitting on a bench with cigarette in hand.  I got a closer look and marveled at how beautiful my Sighting #87 girl was, a mid-20s light brunette in a sexy and skimpy maroon tanktop and jean shorts sitting there next to a presumably nonsmoking boyfriend.  She was one of the most beautiful girls I had seen all night and held her half-smoked cigarette in her left hand and her pack of Marlboro Lights (I think) was poking out of her purse.  I was able to sit on the bench next to her and hoped to enjoy a lengthy show.  The bad news is the show would last only one drag.  The good news is that one drag was incredible.  The cigarette went into her mouth for a five-second drag and produced a master blast exhale with three heat-seeking missiles rocketing out of her mouth and both nostrils, producing more smoke than I’ve seen in quite some time from one drag.  I was close enough where I was able to get some modest photos despite it being pitch black outside but while I captured the two photos, I noticed the cigarette was no longer in her hand.  Great, I thought, she handed it to the boyfriend.  But as I sat there I never saw the boyfriend take a drag for the remaining 90 seconds or so that they sat there.  Then they just got up and walked into the east side beer gardens.  What happened to the cigarette?  I sat on the bench they just got up from and saw no evidence of cigarette debris.  The only thing I can think of is that she put the remainder of the cigarette in the pack in her purse to save the rest for later.  I’m glad for what I was able to say but really wish I would have gotten more as this girl was certainly worthy of year-end best sighting acclaim if only she had given me more than just a single drag to work with.

It was past 11:30 now and while it’s possible I could have challenged my one-night midweek record of 97 sightings that I scored in 2011, I was more than happy to hit the brakes with Sighting #89 and let that be the 2015 Iowa State Fair’s swan song when I ran into her.  A trio of younger people were moving east on the concourse and I could have sworn I spotted a freshly lit cigarette in the hands of the girl walking the outside lane of the group of three.  I turned around to make sure as she looked pretty young, far younger than most girls I’d seen smoking at the ISF this year.  As I walked to her side to study her features, it became clear this girl was underage…and beautiful….and smoking!  What gives here!  I’d been waiting the entire ISF to see a hot underage teen smoking a cigarette and had to wait till the very last sighting of the entire year to get it, but it made it all the more worthwhile.  My Sighting #89 was a long-haired dark blond in a white tanktop, tight dark blue jeans that outlined a perfectly sculpted 16 or 17-year-old body, and cowgirl boots on her feet.  But that face…oh that face.  She had the softest skin tone and the most innocent look about her.  It was absolutely heartwarming to see that girls like her are still taking up the smoking habit.  And she was the only smoker in her threesome too.  Another girl about her age was talking and appeared to be agreeing upon the terms of where to meet in a few minutes as she seemed to want to buy one last item of fair food.  Then there was a scruffy late 20s guy whose presence confused me also walking with them and didn’t seem at all in place.   The nonsmoking girl drifted away while the teen smoking cutie and the scruffy guy pressed forward until they met a late 30s or early 40s unattractive blond woman standing on the curb as though she was waiting for them and smoking a cigarette herself….

I was certain I was looking at the mother-daughter sighting of the year but would later get a clarification on that.  Either way, I was positioned perfectly to take a bench and watch the two women–and one in particular–smoke their cigarettes as they waited, the teen girl casually bantering with the older woman as they bonded over their stinky and addictive habits in front of hundreds of fairgoers walking by.  Eventually, the guy walked away.  Not sure what his role here was but I’m assuming he was family of some sort.  Perhaps he couldn’t stand the cigarette stench from the females any longer!  Whatever the case, it was just the two of them, and the girl proved herself quite skillful and no beginner at smoking, taking nice drags and producing solid exhales.  I tried to get a couple of photos, knowing they wouldn’t turn out well but with the inconvenient placement of the lights they ended up completely worthless.  When I got up close for the photos though, I was able to admire that adorable and stinky face, clearing up for me without a doubt that she was no older than 17.  Her pacing was a tad slow early on but picked up as the cigarette’s size decreased along with her patience for waiting.  She let the older woman I thought was her mom know that she was getting annoyed with waiting and started whining about it.  The older woman told her they should just continue to wait, although I sympathized as I suspected it was a typical case of confused signals amongst a large group that split up at the fair with plans to meet up later.  Her smoking pace hit its crescendo with the final three drags and she finished off the cigarette with a solid triple play with cloudy exhales before dropping the butt to the pavement and then absolutely obliterating it with her boot in a way I hadn’t seen done yet by a girl this year.  I figured the butt would be ripped to smitherines but somehow it wasn’t, yet the magnitude of impact she depressed upon it would make it easier to ID when she left amongst the cluster of cigarette butts laying in that spot….

But they weren’t leaving, continuing to hover there waiting for others in their party as I impatiently watched the clock myself, knowing I needed to be on my shuttle bus by midnight and it was 11:50 now.  I got a fun little distraction though as a couple other blond teenage hotties that knew my teen smoker walked by and started chatting with her for a minute or so.  It was here I got the context of who the older woman was as the teen smoker said “This is my cousin Lisa”.  This context put cold water on the mother-daughter storyline but it was still hot to witness given the generational difference.  But in a minute or so, the people they were supposed to meet arrived….and it was all middle-aged women.  They walked away from the curb when they saw them, giving me my opportunity to check out her discarded cigarette butt pulverized by her boot a few minutes later, a Camel Light Menthol.  It was time for me to leave but I made one pass by the group of older women with one smelly teen girl amongst them, and the girl was clarifying something in a semi-bratty tone as she told one of the middle-aged women that “just to clarify….”.  I didn’t pick up on the specifics but it sounded like it had something to do with someone they new as the middle-aged woman listened to the teen girl with stinky breath lecture her upclose.  With that last bit of lusciousness out of the way, it was regrettably time for me to go after an evening that really ended with a flourish.

While I didn’t score any new sightings on the walk to the shuttle bus I did have a reunion with an earlier sighting.  As I walked past The Depot which was playing some loud music, a familiar redhead with a baseball cap, long red hair, a bare-midriff tanktop, and jean shorts was dancing as she walked….with cigarette in hand.  It was my Sighting #25 girl who smoked 80% of the L & M that a guy in her cluster was smoking several hours earlier.  She was walking with the guy again and was the only one smoking.  She was really shaking that booty to the music which was very cute, especially with the half-smoked cigarette in her hand.

I’ve settled into a pattern where the Iowa State Fair seems to be either boom or bust.  In 2010, 2011, and 2014, it was spectacular, rivaling or even exceeding the Minnesota State Fair.  In 2012 and 2013, it was weak, way below what the venue is capable of.  But 2015 was the year where the Iowa State Fair was pretty much right down the middle of the plate, serving up a decent selection of quality sightings but certainly not blowing my doors off.  Notwithstanding my final sighting of the fair, I was disappointed by the lack of teen smokers I saw this year.  And while there were some “vaping” sightings the prevalence of e-cigarettes in Iowa was way less than the media narrative would have you believe, especially among young females.  Those most likely to use them continue to be males of all ages and women over 35.  Anyway, I wrapped up the evening with 89 sightings and wrapped up the Iowa State Fair with  211 sightings, which is a pretty decent number and well above 2012 and especially 2013.  And thankfully the fair season is still only half over with my maiden voyage to the Missouri State Fair coming on Saturday, August 22nd, followed by two weekends at the Minnesota State Fair.  Still holding out for one or more of those very special sightings that made my 2013 and 2014 fair seasons sparkle.  No guarantee I’ll get them but with three full days of fair fetishing ahead of me there will be plenty of chances.




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2015 Iowa State Fair, Day 1

My first full day at the Iowa State Fair is in the books for 2015.  I don’t know where to set the expectations bar at the ISF lately.  In 2012 and 2013, I had a few very bleak days but then last year I went there three times and all were great, particularly the first day.  This year was unfortunately closer to 2012 and 2013, although a tick or two better than both of those.  There were no dead points yesterday where I went an hour or more between sightings as I did on occasion in 2012 and 2013.  And I scored a reasonable number of extra base hits although only one bona fide homerun.  Numberswise, I scored 122 sightings which is a pretty decent number for 12 hours at the Iowa State Fair.  There were some disturbing trendlines though in that only a few of those 122 sightings were of girls under 21.  You can’t push the panic button based on only one day but there’s a pattern here indicating that a vanishingly small number of high school girls smoke, at least outside of an occasional social setting.  And if they continue to not smoke into young adulthood, my fair adventures are poised to produce stingier and stingier dividends.

Moving onto specifics, I got to the shuttle bus area Saturday morning around 10:30 and was struck by the crowd, which was the largest I had seen on a given Saturday heading to the fair.  That was a little surprising since it was supposed to get to 92 degrees and people tend to try to stay away from the hottest days at the fair.  Generally speaking, a large crowd is good news.  The more people at the fair, the more of them are likely to be young female smokers.  But the long line seemed poised to delay my entry onto the fairgrounds.  The line moved quickly though and I boarded the shuttle bus and arrived at the fairgrounds before 11:30, not much later than usual but it was clear even before noon that I was in for a very hot day at the fair. In the last couple of years, the Saturday morning hours at the fair have been pretty fruitless and I prepared myself for a lengthy dry spell before finding something worthwhile, so when I approached a bench on the concourse less than two minutes after arrival I tried not to get my hopes up when I saw a dark blond mid-20s beauty sitting next to her boyfriend and digging into her purse.  But I’ll be damned if she didn’t pull out a pack of cigarettes and become Sighting #1!  Now her brand was the less than enthralling USA Golds but nonetheless what an impressive find so early in the day, a very attractive blond in sunglasses decked out in a black tanktop and jean shorts sitting there puffing away in the presence of her nonsmoking boyfriend.  My new camera phone is schizophrenic and sometimes I think I’m taking pics only later to discover I really wasn’t–or at least took far fewer than I thought I had–but I think I may have gotten the best pic of the entire day of her in mid-drag.  And it was a pretty good show as I watched her smoking with solid drags and exhales.  She retired the cigarette a little earlier than I would have preferred but it was a far better start to the day than I anticipated.

And in the coming hour I actually maintained a pretty respectable pace, getting on the board quite a bit more often than I did the year before at that time.  As I ascended the hill on the east side I found a blond mid-20s mommy pushing a stroller that set my radar off.  She wasn’t overly attractive but her boyfriend was “vaping” on an e-cigarette and I wondered what the woman’s smoking status was.  I went back down the east hill a couple of minutes later to find that mom was smoking a freshly lit cigarette this time and became Sighting #4.  At least a half dozen times I’ve seen a female smoker in the company of male “vaper” in the last couple of years and I’m impressed the trend continues.  I saw a few more “vapers” yesterday than I did at the county fair a week earlier but was only denied a couple of good sightings because of vaping so either my part of the country is behind the curve or the shift towards “vaping” is considerably overblown.

The bathroom area at the edge of the midway produced a ton of sightings yesterday, and being in the afternoon shade contributed a lot towards that.  The first sightings of consequence were Sightings #5 and #6, a duo of early 20s gals enjoying a cigarette before progressing into the midway.  One girl was chubby and barely qualified but the other was an attractive blond in pink shorts and a white tanktop who very much got me excited.  I watched her take a couple of drags and thought I had snapped a couple pics of her but checked my “gallery” to discover I hadn’t.  This phone is gonna screw me out of some of the most perfect pics I ever thought I took.  I did watch the girls crush out their cigarettes before pressing forward into the midway though.  They were both smoking Camel Crushes.

Sighting #8 came on the south side in front of the cattle building.  It was a light brunette mid-20s gal in a tanktop and jean shorts who was attractive but a little chubbier than I prefer puffing on an all-white that I could tell by the colors was a Camel Light Menthol.  As I watched her, I could see she was making eyes with somebody either inside or just outside the cattle building while continuing to smoke her cigarette.  After a couple of minutes, a middle-aged woman came out and began talking to her, and it was pretty clear that it was her nonsmoking mom, who continued chatting as her daughter ingested toxic cigarette smoke into her body.  But the kicker came last as a middle-aged man emerged who appeared to be her father.  The family was preparing to walk away but daughter wasn’t quite done with her cigarette.  She took an impressive double drag where she was still exhaling a substantial stream of smoke from the first drag while taking the second drag.  And dad happened to walk right into it as she did.  Great stuff.

The role was reversed for Sighting #11, my first sighting on the midway.  A blond mommy who was quite attractive even though I could tell she was in her 30s was standing outside this Super Shot ride that catapults riders into the air.  She had a cigarette in hand as she looked up admiringly to what I assumed was her kid on the ride and it was good fun seeing the joy in her eyes as took drags from the cigarettes while watching.  But when the ride emptied out, I saw there were more people to her party than I assumed.  Out came a 30-something father, a young boy about 8 or 9, and a mid-teen brunette daughter with an incredible body in a fringy tanktop and jean shorts.  Mom was still smoking and passing the cigarette to dad on occasion.  What I wouldn’t have given to see the teen daughter get her hands on that cigarette as it would have been my sighting of the day, and I followed till the cigarette was dispensed with just in case the daughter did take a drag, but alas it never happened.

Sighting #12 was another one on the edge of the midway area with a pretty early 20s blond smoking with her boyfriend.  She was very attractive and a nice smoker but I would have felt much better about the sighting if her arm wasn’t covered in a grotesque multicolored tattoo.  More so than e-cigs, one of the killers of the fetish for me is how many young women insist on covering their well-toned flesh in genuinely nasty tattoo ink.  It was bad enough 15 years ago when the tattoo trend among young women was first starting, but back then the tattoos were generally modest and limited.  Now they feel the need to cover large portions of their body.  She wouldn’t be the last girl of the day whose sighting was short-circuited some by tattoos.

I had a frustrating near miss near the center of the grounds in the mid-afternoon when I spotted an attractive early 20s blond and brunette duo and saw the brunette crushing out an all-white cigarette that she had just finished.  As they began to walk away I checked out the spot where they stood and saw two recently crushed-out butts and figured I just missed the friend smoking too.  They were walking along the deck of this building in the center of the grounds and I followed, attempting to shoot some rear photos of their wonderful jean shorts-draped backsides but apparently I screwed them all up as none of the photos took.  The blond was pretty attractive but the brunette was the stunner of the duo, her long, curly dark brown hair going all the way down her back with a little ponytail up top.  She was carrying a pack of Marlboro Lights in hand, enough to qualify her as Sighting #18 even though I missed her show, and I felt it was a nice consolation prize to check out their asses in their summery tanktop and jean shorts attire as I followed.  Disappointing first phase to this story but it has a happy ending much later in the day.

I got a few mother-daughter sightings yesterday, although nothing too groundbreaking.  My first came in mid-afternoon, moments after the previous girl, when a 21ish ponytailed light brunette in a black tanktop and jean shorts (common ensemble lately) stood next to a tree smoking with her mom.  From afar, the girl looked sexy, and while her tanktop and jean shorts were a common ensemble, the pair of carnival bunny ears resting atop her head certainly were not and added a little spice to the proceedings.  Unfortunately upclose mom and daughter looked pretty trashy.  The daughter wasn’t nearly as good-looking when I got closer, particularly when seeing her stained, Chicklet-like teeth.  She was still good enough for Sighting #19 though, and bonus points to the daughter for finishing her cigarette before mom.

One of my biggest disappointments yesterday came with Sighting #21, or at least the sighting poised to become Sighting #21.  An early 20s brunette in a white tanktop and black shorts stepped out of a commercial building on the grounds as I walked past and the second I laid eyes on her I pegged her as a smoker.  And sure enough, she quickly began opening her purse and out came a lighter and was soon followed by a cigarette.  A boyfriend accompanied her, and I was elated to discern he was likely another nonsmoking boyfriend as they progressed with only her in possession of that sole cigarette.  And that’s when things went horribly wrong.  There’s this densely packed display of RVs just to their north and the couple walked inside the display.  I couldn’t follow without telling on myself so it was a matter of trying to predict where they’d come out.  I circled around the area for about five minutes and saw no trace of them, nor did I see them again yesterday.  Sometimes a would-be sighting just goes this way but what a weird way to lose what would have been my best sighting so far that day.

I made up for it about 10 minutes later on the outskirts of a building on the east side of the grounds where the shadows were creating a patch of shade in an area that has produced plenty of strong sightings in the past.  A family (or pair of families) sat there enjoying the shade and I took a shine to a mid-20s dark blond in a flower-print top, jean shorts, and sunglasses.  She was very attractive and looked like a smoker.  As I walked across from her, sure enough….there was a pack of Marlboro Light Menthols on the pavement next to her.  Now it was a matter of how long I was gonna wait in a fairly awkward location to see if she was gonna light up.  It was entirely possible that she already had and I missed it, but I just had a feeling there would be a reward to this one if I had a little patience.  I ended up lurking in the general area but doing some exploration within eyeshot of where they sat so I wouldn’t be too far away.  And I got my reward when I returned and saw her and another middle-aged gal in her group (not her mother I don’t think) smoking one of the Marlboro Light Menthols, officially making her Sighting #23.  By this point, a boyfriend/husband had surfaced and, once again, he appeared to not be a smoker but has nonetheless chosen to bed down with a smelly young addicted female.  Her style was relatively average but I got a pretty decent photo of her with cigarette in hand.  Unfortunately, the show ended too soon as she crushed out the half-smoked cigarette, putting it back in the pack to finish off later.  She walked away with the husband/boyfriend in hand, and I was hoping he was at least a little bit elated of how stinky she must be carrying that crushed-out cigarette in a pack in her hand.

Another mother-daughter sighting came with Sighting #27, which took place in the center of the grounds in between two bars just off the concourse where a cluster of port-a-potties produces a crowd.  Standing next to the port-a-potties was an unattractive late 40s gal, but kneeling next to her was a 21ish redhead who was smoking and an 18ish light brunette who was not.  The redhead was decently attractive but certainly not one of my best finds of the day.  The family dynamic here was cute and I sat on an empty milk crate just across from them.  I have no excuse for not getting good photos here but for whatever reason none of my photo attempts took.  It was the damndest thing.  The sighting did have one colorful moment.  The spot where the women were standing/kneeling was just underneath the second floor of an open-air fairgrounds bar and somebody from up there apparently dumped out the remains of a drink.  It missed the mother-daughter smoker tandem but barely as ice came crashing down directly in front of them.  Anyway, the daughter crushed out her cigarette and held onto it till she found the next garbage moments later and so endeth the sighting.

One of the first girls of the day whose pedigree generally impressed was Sighting #32.  Moving northward on the south side of the grounds was an attractive early 20s couple that included a gorgeous long haired blond with fiery red flares at the tips, decked out in a white tanktop and jean shorts.  She was easily the hottest smoker girl I’d seen yet so far yesterday, and my timing was great as she and the boyfriend had just lit up.  I followed and frantically took photos capturing her outstanding body with her cigarette held in her fingers right next to her ass.  I got several ass photos and took a risk moving to their side and scoring a side view that captures at least some of her pretty face.  The boyfriend seemed a little “bad boy” but in general seemed like he was worthy of her.  The couple was proceeding towards the east exit and were apparently heading to their car for something as they got their hands stamped so they could return inside.  It was fun to continue following en route to the gate and be able to breathe in some of her glorious exhales, typically turning her head to the left to expel her toxic smoke into the crowd even though I didn’t see any direct hits into the faces of other fairgoers.  I didn’t really want to leave the fairgrounds, even with a stamp allowing me to come back in, so as the couple fast approached the gate I was getting concerned that she would take the cigarette out the gate with her and deny me the butt ID.  She didn’t though, smoking the cigarette down to nearly the filter but dropping it to the pavement without crushing it out on the ramp towards the exit.  Her brand was a Camel Light Menthol.  The sighting didn’t have a storyline worthy of my greatest hits, but thus far yesterday, she was the best find I had scored and a solid triple that was a good boost to my morale.

And in the final minute or so in the pursuit of the last girl, I passed something else that had great potential and that I was hoping to see more of.  A group of late teens were seated in the shade and there was a girl who looked quite young lighting up a cigarette amongst them.  She had blue hair which immediately informed me that she was not likely the kind of Little Miss Wholesome I like most but I turned around and found her moments after the previous sighting ended.  My Sighting #33 girl was easy to spot with the blue hair and as I got a closer look it was clear she was 19 or 20 rather than the 16 she looked from afar.  Her body type really screamed mid-teen girl though, decked out in a striped tanktop and tight jeans.  She had a couple of stud piercings in her face which didn’t surprise me given her pedigree but also served to limit her sex appeal a bit more.  She was sharing her cigarette with the boyfriend sitting next to her, which also took away from the sighting a bit.  But when she got her hands on that cigarette and took a drag, everything in the world was fine as her intense drags produced streams of smoke just from the drag even before her very cloudy exhales came from her mouth and nose about five seconds after the drags.  I only got to see three drags but they were all sublime.  I managed a couple mediocre side photos of her as well where she really looks like a mid-teen girl, but you can’t see much of her face in them.  While all of this was going on, it took a couple of minutes to realize there was a decently attractive 19-20ish Asian girl on the other side of my couple (part of the same group) who was also smoking with her boyfriend.  I didn’t get much of a chance to see her smoke but she was definitely attractive enough to count as my Sighting #34.

Just as there was some nice afternoon shade in the area at the edge of the midway, there was also a spot just west of a fairgrounds bar on the northwest side of the grounds where I saw a handful of smokers on smoke breaks yesterday.  The best were different sets of smokers that included a young couple and a mid-30s brunette whose looks were holding up well who was off smoking by herself.  The young couple caught my eye first as an early-to-mid 20s blond in a white tanktop and jean shorts was retrieving a pack of Marlboro No. 27s from her purse.  She took a while to light up as her boyfriend was getting a cigarette of his own, giving me time to prepare my camera and get a picture of her in an unlit dangle.  Moments later, the cigarettes were lit and she officially became my Sighting #38.  On the other side of a loading zone a few feet to the north was Sighting #39, the aforementioned mid-30s brunette sporting a very attractive pair of pink shorts covering her shapely body as she smoked.  I let my eyes dart from one to the other and while neither girl’s style blew my mind, they were both attractive smokers and it was nice to be able to cool off in the shade and watch them smoke.  I was closest to the younger blond and her boyfriend so I got to see more from her, including her crushing out the Marlboro No. 27 into the corner where she was sitting when she finished it.

I had a bit of momentum at this point and took it with me to the edge of the midway where I’d again hit pay dirt with Sighting #43.  I was eyeballing another girl when my attention was stolen completely by a very attractive and wholesome-looking dark brunette in a pink tanktop and dark blue jean shorts wielding a freshly lit cigarette as she exited the midway with an unattractive nonsmoking female friend, some prizes they won in a carnival, and a baby in a stroller.  From this girl’s presentation I originally figured she was probably 19 but settled upon more along the lines of 21-22 as I got a closer look, lucky enough to score a couple solid frontal photos, one of which she has cigarette visibly in hand.  She was such a perfect feminine specimen to behold, with a beautiful face, a perfect body, and very smooth legs.  I got to see some nice drags as well, and particularly when they were proceeding onto the concourse and I followed to see her exhaling thin streams that were undoubtedly choking somebody in the crowd.  The boy in the stroller must have been misbehaving because both she and the friend were frequently shouting “Parker!” to scold him for whatever he was saying or doing.  Both screamed at him as though they were his mother which I found odd.  I suppose it’s possible they were a lesbian couple but they seemed too young to be adoptive parents.  Whatever the case, I followed her until she completely squashed out the cork filter cigarette under her heel and was able to ID the cigarette as a Marlboro Menthol.  One of my top-five of the day.

I went into the midway soon thereafter and while the midway didn’t deliver anything too extravagant yesterday, I definitely had a moment observing Sighting #47.  This young couple featuring a shirtless early 20s guy and a ponytailed blond girlfriend in a black tanktop and turquoise shorts who was wielding a freshly lit cigarette was walking away from a carnival barker when he beckoned them back.  The boyfriend must have been trying his best to fend off some male pride but ultimately let his ego get the best of him as he returned to the carnival barker to give the game another try while his pretty blond girlfriend watched him make a fool of himself while she tended to her cigarette.  Nothing too spectacular on style points but I really loved how the girl was smoking a cigarette while the guy tried to impress her with a carnival game.  It was now after 6 p.m. when photos often tend to get a bit blurry because of the shadows, but I scored a couple of close-up photos of the smoker girl that aren’t too shabby.

It was 7:00 and I had 50 sightings, which is not particularly impressive but is becoming my baseline with generally unproductive Iowa State Fair afternoons coming along far more often than they used to.  I was exploring the east side of the grounds, specifically the Susan Knapp Amphitheater where free stage shows are performed in the evening.  Tonight’s show started at 8 but there were a few people hovering the general area.  Walking into the seating area at the same time as me were two 21ish girls in blouses and shorts, one blond and one brunette.  The girls were both attractive but not major head turners.  The blond was probably slightly more attractive, wearing a flower-print top and white shorts.  Her light brunette friend won the presentation game though with a bare-midriff tanktop exposing several inches of her well-toned belly with jean shorts underneath.  The girls sat down in the front row of the bleachers and I just had a feeling about them, sitting down myself a few benches behind to both rest my feet and see if they had anything to offer.  The brunette focused my attention when she removed a pack of Marlboro Blacks from her back jeans pocket and placed in on the bleachers.  Whether or not they were gonna smoke was an open question but I definitely planned on sticking around a few more minutes to see.  The blond put her stuff in the same spot as the cigarette pack and accidentally knocked it to the grass below.  This was a useful snafu because once the brunette spotted the pack on the ground, she decided it was a good time for a smoke.  Or in this case two smokes.  She opened up the pack and I was particularly gleeful when her first move was to hand the first cigarette to the blond.  I repositioned myself for rear photos when the brunette placed her own cigarette in her mouth and the two of them proceeded to light up and become Sightings #51 and #52.  They were adept smokers as well, with solid drags, long hold times, and cloudy exhales.  It was challenging to get a good look since I was seated behind them and there was nowhere to move in front of them, but I made a slow walk in front of them and saw an impressive dangle from the blond.  I had to walk away sooner than I preferred, but I got lucky (or half-lucky anyway) later in the night.  I was just leaving an evening concert at around 9:45 and heading towards the gates were the same two girls, although only the bare-midriffed brunette was smoking this time.  She made eyes with me and I don’t know if the look I got was due to familiarity or whether she was crushing on me (more likely the former!) but I followed at a comfortable distance and watched her finish the cigarette on her way to the gate, with her exhales escaping from her mouth and nose as she walked.  I approached her discarded butt and just as the pack from earlier indicated, it was a Marlboro Black.

I maintained a burst of momentum as the 7:00 hour proceeded and near the east side beer gardens I scored what I believe was my youngest smoker girl of the day in Sighting #55.  A duo of 17ish girls was walking westward when I spotted a cute long-haired blond with a very girl-next-door sex appeal pulling out a pack of Marlboro Smooths and extracting one.  It was so nice to see a high school age girl smoking on a day when such an individual was in short supply, especially one decked out in a very utilitarian black T-shirt and jeans who seemed so unlikely to smoke.  The friend didn’t smoke but wasn’t very impressive anyway.  The blond was definitely the right girl of this duo to be a smoker.  I tried to score some photos as I walked and thought I was succeeding, only to be horrified later when I looked at the early photos I took and saw that nothing turned out.  I was so busy taking terrible photos that I didn’t get to study her very closely but I was about to get another chance as the girls drifted to a series of empty benches behind a building.  They hadn’t really seen me yet despite my close presence so I sat on the bench next to them without arousing suspicion.  The location was a mixed blessing.  I scored four pictures from a decent vantage point, one of them of her in mid-drag, but the sun on the western horizon was shining straight into the shot.  You can sort of see her face but the imagery is blurred and I never got an image worthy of her.  But the upside to this location is the lighting really created atmosphere for her exhales.  I was impressed by the extreme cloudiness of the smoke expelled from her mouth and nose, and the backdrop of the bright setting sun really created a dazzling silhouette with the smoke clouds and easily represented the sighting’s high point for me.  She still hadn’t finished the cigarette but took off with the friend, hovering on the east side block as if waiting for somebody.  I got to see her take a couple more drags before dropping the cigarette to the curb, and after a minute or so drifting away with the friend.  It was just a formality to ID the butt since I already saw her pack, but I approached the discarded cork filter and found it was a Marlboro Smooth just as suspected.  It was a solid triple and a necessary youth burst on a smoker girl day that was definitely skewing older than usual thus far.

This momentum proceeded into my very next sighting, which would become either my second or third favorite sighting of the day.  I was walking down the concourse and spotted a young couple sitting down on a bench that was already one-third occupied by a middle aged guy.  I had a good feeling about them and it wouldn’t take long for that feeling to be vindicated as he produced a cigarette each for himself and his girl, an incredibly wholesome 18-19ish light brunette with a tint of strawberry in her hair wearing an ultra-feminine pale pink summer dress that matched her look perfectly.  The girl could not have selected an item of clothing that better fit her milieu.  She lit up and became Sighting #56, and I was scrambling to score photos from an awkward standing position.  The somewhat scruffy boyfriend seemed a little dorky but that made their courtship all the more adorable as they were looking through photos on their own phone in a casual snuggling embrace, sometimes pulling in for some mild PDA that never got more graphic that a quick peck on the lips.  Seeing the contrast between this wholesome girl in the little pink dress and that smoldering cigarette between her fingers was substantial enough, and became even more mind-blowing when she took a drag and proceeded to blast the smoke to her right, never invading the space of the guy sitting to her right but certainly close enough that he was smelling her exhaust.  I caught a break when the bench immediately parallel to theirs opened up.  I took a seat and was able to score some better photos from a closer range, and thankfully the adorable kissing couple was so engrossed in their own photos they weren’t noticing that I was making their image permanent with my own camera work.  With sunset approaching, the window for photo-taking of any kind was fast closing.  I was hoping a get a pic of her in mid-drag but it never worked out, but the snuggling pose the couple was in, with the girl wielding her shrinking cigarette, was almost as good.  The guy finished his cigarette first and the girl wrapped hers up a few moments later.    She seemed to be really getting comfortable on the bench so I was nervous that I’d be denied a butt ID.  I did a quick loop down the concourse and returned in a couple of minutes to find them gone, however, and seized the opportunity to squeeze onto the bench right above her discarded cigarette butt.  As I expected from the markings I observed from afar, it was a Newport Red.  Towards the end of the night I saw the couple again walking around, albeit not smoking.  There were two cute smoking couples last night (the other yet to come) and it’s hard for me to rate my favorite of the two, but her age and outfit certainly gives this one some bonus points.

It was fast approaching 8:00 and I was gonna check out a free concert by an up-and-coming teen rock singer named Gabbie Rae.  A friend of mine is a big fan and was eager to hear details and get photos from the concert.  The concert was at the Bud Light stage which is the same venue where the concert by the 90s country group BlackHawk was two years earlier.  It’s a good venue, but the location is terrible….in the very remote southwest corner of the fairgrounds at least two full blocks from anything and everything else that’s going on in the grounds after dark.  Still, there were enough smokers attending the BlackHawk concert two years ago that I was able to hover in the area for 90 minutes and score a bunch of sightings.  If a young rock crowd was hanging around for the Gabbie Rae concert, I just might do the same tonight.  But the place was dead.  Very small crowd and after 15 minutes of lurking around and seeing zero smokers, I had to get out of there, much to my friend’s chagrin.  It’s too bad because I was enjoying the concert and the girl had a good voice, but my primary objective is sightings and I wasn’t about to lose out on primetime sightings for an empty concert.

And I definitely made the right choice, with my departure from the concert launching me into my rallying point of the day in the hour between 8:30 and 9:30.  I had 62 sightings when I arrived at the east side beer gardens area but walked away with a quite a few more than that.  The hotness started with a trio of gals north of the bar area hovering in a way that made me believe cigarettes were being smoked.  One was an unattractive late 40s/early 50s gal, another an unattractive 30-something, and the last a mid-to-late 20s brunette in a tanktop and jean shorts who was the only one worth paying attention to.  And she was the one holding the pack of Camels.  Yet as they migrated from their standing position I figured I must have just missed smoking.  I explored elsewhere in the immediate area but kept them in mind before spotting them again….and I was a bit surprised when the late 20s brunette now had one of her Camels lit and smoldering between her fingers.  My Sighting #64 girl was the only smoker of the trio which seemed unlikely given her wholesome and youthful pedigree, and she seemed perfectly comfortable smoking away in front of what I assumed was her mom and older sister as well.  At one point, the three of them were looking at the junk wares of this vendor and the brunette stood just a little off to the side smoking her cigarette, and really didn’t make too much of an effort to spare her family or the vendor from the carcinogens she was exhaling.  Part of me wanted to continue observing this sighting but something was pulling on me to venture elsewhere.  I chose to move on, which was my best decision of the day.

After one minor sighting, I ventured past the benches near the bathroom just north of the east side beer gardens where I spotted something that seemed intriguing.  Sighting #66 started off like it was gonna be a strong single or maybe a double, with an attractive 23-24ish blond with her hair up in a ponytail wearing a flattering white tanktop and pink shorts.  She was standing in front of a bench smoking a cigarette talking to a nonsmoking guy and girl sitting on the bench.  For some reason, I felt there would be something special about this sighting and stood off to the side with my phone trying to capture the moment even though it was dark and I knew the photos weren’t likely to turn out.  The one shot I got that turned out actually does a good job of conveying her aura, even in the dark.  It wasn’t until after I got a couple of pics in that I started paying attention, and the girl had style taking huge six-second drags that produced cherries glowing a brighter shade of red than a jar of maraschinos followed by enormously cloudy exhales that seemed to take on a life of their own after escaping her respiratory system.  I was pretty impressed with what I was seeing but had no idea what direction this sighting would take when, two-thirds into her cigarette, the friends got up to leave.  She now had the bench all to herself and sat on the left side of it.  Suddenly I had a huge opening on the bench to sit down and keep the stinky blond with the silky smooth legs company.  But lest you think I would have an opportunity to make this sighting interactive, something even better happened….when her parents showed up…..

Dad sat to her left which meant her sweet little body moved a little bit closer to me and mom was standing in front of her.  The context here was quite strange but her chemistry with this 5o-something couple made it entirely clear that they were her parents.  I couldn’t pick up on everything she was saying and it appeared as though she was a bit drunk by her voice but she mumbled to the folks that she was sitting there “smoking a cigarette”.  As close as I was I could tell from the markings on the cigarette that it was a Camel Turkish Royal and she took another very long drag from it and proceeded to belch out a blob of an exhale that flowed straight towards mom but also expanded out my direction and her father’s.  The next thing I know the daughter is holding out her phone in front of her face with her cigarette smoldering in the same right hand she held the phone, and squeezing her tobacco-drenched face next to her father’s for a selfie.  I was on the other side of this girl a few feet away and she was already far and away the stinkiest girl I’d been around all day so I can’t even imagine how much this smelly daughter was making her dad suffer.  Sitting as close as I was, I was able to sneak a couple of modest but very close-up photos of this sexpot sitting cross-legged only a couple of feet to my left.  And from there she was flipping around on the pics on her phone and showing some pics off to mom and dad, all the while leaving her cigarette unattended for a good 90 seconds.  As it continued to smolder and the ash got longer, the stench became really strong, with wave upon wave of sidestream smoke drifting my way.  I was choking on her smoke and I suspect the parents in even closer proximity were as well.  I haven’t been upclose with a smoking girlfriend in quite a while now but this was the closest I’ve come to experiencing a hot chick’s direct secondhand smoke odor that I wasn’t seconds away from making out with.  Much as I loved marinating in her smoke entrails, I wanted to see her smoking again, and when she finally got back to the cigarette she delivered in spades….

There was at most two drags left in the cigarette but she proceeded to stick that stub in her mouth for a dangling drag as though as it was freshly lit, taking another five-second drag and making me wonder if the long ash hanging on the end was gonna fall off.  It didn’t, but she expelled yet another explosive exhale that whacked mom in the face before taking one final drag and dropping the tiny remaining stub to the pavement.  When the group still didn’t leave, I got up just in time to see the daughter giving her dad a very stinky hug and then mom and dad took off, with daughter soon following.  I sat back down on the bench and confirmed her discarded cigarette was a Camel Turkish Royal.  I just love it when a sighting that starts out modestly experiences plot twists and pure escalation.  They don’t come much more unpredictable or satisfying than this one, and it was by far my best sighting of the day.

I was hoping to take off back to that Gabbie Rae concert and see the final couple of songs but this east side beer gardens area had other ideas, and as I walked in front of the beer gardens, lo and behold if I didn’t stumble into another sexy smoker girl with Sighting #67, a very attractive mid-20s blond in a yellow flower print dress smoking with an unattractive friend.  I stood admiringly to her side for a few minutes and watched her consume about two-thirds of the cigarette, and the highlight of the sighting came about halfway in when she took a drag in mid-discussion and then released a beautiful, wispy talking exhale while conversing with her friend.  Once again, I could tell from afar from the cigarette’s telltale markings that I was looking at my second Camel Turkish Royal in a row.  With smoking becoming an increasingly downscale pastime, it’s becoming more rare to see a stunning beauty like this girl smoking a cigarette (and particularly  when accompanied with impressive talking exhales!) so I really treasure the moments when I get to, especially for a prolonged encounter like this one.

I said before that I had intended to drift back to the Bud Light stage for the end of that Gabbie Rae concert but the east side beer gardens area was just getting started with me and offered me a few minutes of sensory overload that began with a familiar face smoking in the company of unfamiliar face.  Two young ladies dressed in summer attire were smoking along the curb when I approached, among them a modestly attractive blond who would be Sighting #70, but the other girl already had a serial number attached to her…..#18.  The long-haired brunette with the little ponytail up top who I had just missed finishing a Marlboro Light hours earlier consummated her sighting as she was now standing there with cigarette in hand chatting with the friend.  She was outsmoking her rather impressively as well and vindicating my initial good feeling I had about her in the afternoon even though I didn’t see her actually smoke then.  Deep drags, long holds, and cloudy exhales all made for great sight-seeing, but she saved her best for last.  I was standing about five feet to her right and although she didn’t really see me, some other friends were approaching from the other direction and she proceeded to deploy a skillful butt flick of her all-white, adeptly launching that thing to the pavement pretty much right next to my shoe and didn’t even notice or care where it landed.  I already knew from before she smoked Marlboro Lights but was able to confirm that without even having to take a single footstep!

Now that brunette was my favorite moment from the sensory overload stretch at the east side beer gardens, but the area was alive with young female smokers.  A mixed-gender group of 20-somethings standing just behind my brunette featured a few attractive young girls, but the only smoker among them was a curly-haired light brunette in a cowgirl hat and matching boots wearing white shorts.  My Sighting #71 girl was pretty but her presentation in that sexpot cowgirl attire exceeded her actual looks.  She was a slow smoker which was also frustrating. On the upside, when I returned to the east side beer gardens less than an hour later, she was smoking again.  Back to my favorite brunette, I mentioned before that just before her butt flick towards my shoe, a couple additional friends were approaching her.  One of them included the blond that was with her in the early afternoon as well as another brunette.  They were both quite attractive and also in possession of tobacco with cigarette packs on their persons.  They would cross the street and sit on the curb where they lit up, officially becoming Sightings #72 and #73.  I was only able to watch for a minute or so but it was quite an image seeing these two early 20s hotties sitting there on the curb immersed in conversation with freshly lit all-whites protruding from their smelly fingertips.  And the numbers on the east side of additional beer-swilling smoker girls kept rising in those final moments before I departed.  As I said a few paragraphs ago, I had 62 sightings on the day when I arrived at this beer gardens, and 20 minutes or so later when I walked away I had 78.  It was by far my most prolific stretch of the day.

From there I made the long walk back to the Bud Light stage for the final couple of songs by Gabbie Rae and got in on a brief meet-and-greet for my friend.  I pressed on after that, feeling pretty good with my recent sightings surge and pleased that I still had 2 1/2 hours of prime fetish time left.  It would be a little while before I saw anything else noteworthy but in the aforementioned median area full of port-a-potties in between the two beer gardens on the concourse, I spotted two sets of couples all wielding cigarettes.  One was a very dark-skinned Indian girl with a nice body and silky black shorts.  She was Sighting #85 and while I’m sure she would be the type of a lot of guys she wasn’t really my type.  More my type was Sighting #86 just across from her, a sexy long-haired blond with dramatic facial features decked out in a white tanktop and jean shorts.  Unfortunately, I only saw one messy final drag before she dropped the spent all-white butt to the pavement.  D’oh!  Fortunately this sighting had a happy ending about an hour later when I spotted the same two couples standing in front of the same beer gardens, once again all wielding cigarettes.  My blond had such a glowing presence as she bantered with her boyfriend and it was really infectious, particularly when she was dragging from her cigarette.  Unfortunately I didn’t get to see a ton of smoking on this cigarette either and was caught off guard when blondie left the group in a hurry, cigarette in hand, and was heading back in between the two bars.  I watched her cute ass boogeying while she raised her cigarette to her lips one final time, taking a drag and then releasing one more carcinogenic cloudburst.  She dropped the all-white butt to the ground and then embraced in a stinky hug with another hot early 20s blond in jean shorts who was clearly a good friend.  If anything, the new girl was even hotter than my smoker!  I took the opportunity to ID the discarded all-white as a Marlboro Ultra Light and then watched the new girl for a bit, hoping she would have affinity for smoldering tobacco as well.  I kept tabs on this group for the rest of my time at the fairgrounds last night but unfortunately I had seen the last of the smoking from the original blond and didn’t see any smoking at all from the new girl.  I don’t want to give too much away but stay tuned to my next writeup and you just might get a second chapter to this story!

I returned to the east side beer gardens area once again, and it was then I got the aforementioned second sighting of the #71 blond cowgirl in the white shorts and boots, but it was also there that I got Sighting #90, my favorite mother-daughter sighting of the day.  Approaching the bar without yet having purchased an adult beverage was a late 40s unattractive mother with her cute and wholesome mid-20s brunette daughter in a pink top and jean shorts.  Both women were in possession of cork filter cigarettes and were puffing in front of each other with a complete lack of inhibition.  Daughter was a solid smoker as well, taking solid drags that produced very nice exhales.  I was rather awkwardly eating a gyro in this location and sort of stuck out like a sore thumb but the image of these two generations of smokers produced a memorable image improving the otherwise disappointing experience that eating the gyro did.  The daughter finished her cigarette after a couple of minutes and the women went into the bar right after polluting the sidewalk with their cigarette butts.  The daughter’s brand was a Marlboro Red.

Sightings were coming at a refreshingly fast clip as I headed westward down the concourse and the Saturday night party crowd was coming out of the shadows.  Next to catch my eye was Sighting #95, featuring a mixed-gender group with only one smoker, a short-haired brunette in a skimpy and skin-tight orange dress.  The girl wasn’t completely my type and was smoking very slowly so I didn’t stick around too long to watch the show, but the girl’s pseudo-ditzy demeanor and the way her friends were playing off of it, most likely with the help of some alcohol, added color to the sighting above and beyond her tangerine dress.  Most memorable was when a blond friend was repeatedly smacking the brunette smoker in the ass in that dress and the brunette gave out a playful yipping sound.  I sort of wanted to see this one play out given that there may have been a great storyline in there, but I ultimately made the right decision when I pressed on westward down the concourse.

My decision was vindicated because it landed me straight into Sighting #96.  At almost the exact spot I spotted the cute late teen smoking couple that was Sighting #56, I spotted another smoking couple.  This couple was clearly older than the previous couple, in their mid-20s, and only half of the couple smoked cigarettes.  Luckily for me it was the better half.  I approached the bench from behind to see the most adorable pose….a gorgeous long-haired blond with her hand hanging over the back of the bench holding a freshly lit cigarette.  That image would come to define the sighting to come as I moved to the front of the bench to get a better look and came face to face with the prettiest smoker of the day who was decked out in the sexiest and skimpiest outfit of any smoker girl I’d seen all day, a tiny spaghetti strapped white tanktop with a couple inches of exposed midriff along with a perfect-fitting pair of jean shorts showing off a seemingly endless display of thigh and calves.  And as was my instinct when I first spotted this couple and saw the girl holding her cigarette over the back of the bench, only the girl was smoking.  She was “protecting” her lucky-as-hell boyfriend from her noxious fumes.  Her positioning could not have been more perfect watching her from the front as she was holding her pack of Camel Menthol Lights in her left hand while propping her legs up in the boyfriend’s lap as he mildly stroked the smooth flesh on her upper leg.   I just love seeing a smoking girl in the presence of a nonsmoking guy generally but it’s even more beautiful when the girl is a knockout getting attention from the boyfriend as she tries to avoid corrupting his pink lungs with her smoke.  If only these girls had any idea how impossibly sexy they are, and in this case blondie was outdoing herself, clearly getting pleasure from her cigarette but being sure to tilt her head as skyward as possible with each exhale so that her smoke would not invade the boyfriend’s airspace.  As a fetisher, I couldn’t help but feel bad for the boyfriend thinking he might be a closet fetisher himself who simply hadn’t yet found the courage to confess his fetish to the girl, but my hard feelings for his predicament were short-lived when I watched him stroke the leg of this gorgeous and perfect female specimen in front of her as she smoked.  She really seemed in a pleasure zone and it was hard to tell whether it was from her cigarette or the boyfriend’s hands-on attention.  It was probably the combination of the two.  It was too dark and my positioning was too bad to get a photo but it breaks my heart I didn’t capture some of the imagery of this sighting on camera.  After a few minutes the cigarette was dropped to the pavement below her feet and gingerly crushed out.  I knew her brand but still made a point of walking past that bench later on when it became empty to ID it as a Camel Light Menthol.  It was at this point that I had to admit to myself that as mediocre as portions of the day was, it still produced some very worthy rewards.

I wouldn’t score anything better than that last sighting in my remaining hour or so on the grounds, but there several more moments worthy of mention.  The primary grandstand act last night was Def Leppard, which really wasn’t very useful for me since just about everybody attending the show was over 35 and did not bring out my preferred demographic of young smoker girls.  Nonetheless, I sat in the seating area behind the grandstand where I was best able to hear some of Def Leppard’s performance and it was there that I spotted Sighting #98, an attractive mid-20s blond in a tight black and white dress smoking with her boyfriend.  Unfortunately, the optics of this sighting were the opposite of the sighting I had just watched.  The blond and the boyfriend were standing in the street and it seemed clear the boyfriend was the experienced smoker while the girlfriend was either the novice or the social smoker, taking modest drags and producing shallow exhales.  She was still a sexy sight in that standout dress smoking her cigarette and gave me a great visual aid to the Def Leppard background music.  The sighting ended vaguely disappointingly as she was done with the cigarette despite there being a good third of it left, and was bending down to crush out the cigarette on the pavement.  I knew she was gonna throw the butt in the garbage and deny me an ID butt, but I didn’t anticipate that she was gonna walk literally right up to me and throw the butt into the garbage can a few inches away from where I sat.  It may well have been the closest I got to a girl with a cigarette in her hand the whole day/night, even compared to my favorite girl of the day exposing me to her Camel Turkish Royal smoke for several minutes.

Moments later, I hit pay dirt again when I was walking down the concourse and smelled the fresh aroma of cigar smoke.  I craned my neck and found a thuggish-looking young guy using an already smoldering Black ‘N’ Mild to light up a new one.  Since there were girls in this cluster, I was eager to see if the original Black ‘N’ Mild source was a female, and in Iowa State Fair tradition (every year I get at least one decent cigar sighting at the ISF), the guy handed the Black ‘N’ Mild to a pretty 21ish brunette in a baseball cap, T-shirt, and jeans who would become Sighting #99.  Sadly, I never quite positioned myself well to watch her smoke as she always seemed to be stuck inside the cluster of 7-8 friends.  I did see a couple of drags and had no difficulty in smelling the stinky cigar smoke exhaled from her mouth.  And as I encircled the group, I spotted a hot 21ish blond holding an unlit cigarette between her fingers trying to capture the attention of the rowdy, cigar-wielding brunette to get her lighter.  Blondie became Sighting #100 even before she got the cigarette lit, but thankfully it would become official on my next pass by the group when blondie’s cigarette was now smoldering between her fingers.  I caught another passing glance of the brunette cigar girl but got a little greedy at that point when I saw my favorite couple from Sighting #96 hovering in the general area and walked their way to see if the girl was smoking again.  She wasn’t and by the time I ventured the short distance back to cigar girl and her blond friend, they were no longer to be seen.  I tried to find them heading in the direction they seemed to be going but never caught up.  It was unlikely that this sighting was gonna escalate into anything epic in the first place given how large the group was and how challenging the vantage point because of it, but I still blew it and probably missed a few more bells and whistles.

After I hit the century mark, the numbers slowed a little in the final hour but I still had a few decent moments.  I made my final trek to the fairgrounds’ south side and spotted Sighting #107, a very pretty long-haired dark brunette who looked about 30 smoking on the curb with her boyfriend or husband.  She was wearing a white tanktop and black shorts and was a very attractive smoker girl I got to observe from an open bench.  Not much of a storyline to the sighting and no butt ID as she and the boyfriend both made sure to crush out their cigarettes and then toss the butts in the trash can, but it was a nice show while it lasted.

I made one final pass near the east side beer gardens and had arguably my ugliest near-miss of the day with the girl who barely qualifies as Sighting #110.  I saw a bench ahead where a guy was lighting a cigarette and I scanned his immediate area for girls and noticed an insanely hot blond with a perfect body draped in my ideal summertime outfit for girls (white shorts)…..who was crushing out her Marlboro Light at the exact second I laid eyes on her.  She seemed to be flirty and saucy and spry with the guys in her group and I would have killed to have seen her smoking.  I stuck around a minute or so just in case she was gonna light up another but it wasn’t meant to be.

Time was slipping away as I ventured through the midway for my final run of the night just before 11:30, capturing only modest rewards until I exited onto the edge of the beer gardens area and spotted a cluster that intrigued me, with one girl in particular in a white tanktop, candy apple red shorts, and cowgirl boots holding a pack of Marlboro Lights.  Just seeing her holding the pack was good enough for me to rate her as Sighting #115, but I didn’t have a ton of time left before I needed to capture my shuttle bus and it didn’t look like she was gonna light up so I began to drift away.  But I wouldn’t get far when I was again struck by the unmistakable odor of cigar smoke.  I looked down to a duo of modestly attractive 20-something blonds sitting on the curb in front of the bar, one of them holding a half-smoked Black ‘N’ Mild cigar and becoming Sighting #116.  Now the girl was pretty plain jane and certainly not hot enough to make any favorites lists at year’s end, but I still hovered near her for a moment or so allowing me to take in a couple of drags and smell the fresh stench of her cigar exhales.  I was prepared to stick around another moment or so but my attention was immediately diverted when I spotted my blond in the red shorts and cowgirl boots from a minute early walking by, opening her back of cigarettes, handing one to a lesser but still attractive friend (Sighting #117) and then taking one for herself.  The two were walking westward on the concourse and I had no problem at all walking away from Miss Plain Jane cigar girl to check out this sexpot blond duo.  My favorite blond placed the unlit cigarette in her mouth and very naturally dangled it a couple seconds before flicking it to life with her lighter.  I was getting a very impressive vibe from this girl as I followed her and her stinky friend, thinking I was a destined for a full sighting.  But that’s when something weird happened.  The Def Leppard concert had been dismissed for a good half hour at this point and the entry to the grandstand was wide open.  For some reason, these two smoker hotties were walking towards that open gate.  At first I didn’t know where they were going but it became clear these babes were gonna strut right through the “no smoking permitted” grandstand door wielding cigarettes….for some reason.  Now this was hot as hell to witness, but it also derailed my sighting as I couldn’t follow them without getting spotted.  It was frustrating because these girls, especially the red shorts hottie, were worthy of high acclaim and this sighting would have had an incredible storyline, but I just didn’t see enough before they ventured out of sight.  It was bad luck straight out of the script from my unfortunate timing of the week before at the county fair.

I had one more great sighting in the evening’s final 15 minutes, although it also was way too short.  I passed a bench on the concourse and spotted a 30-something gal that did nothing for me sitting down smoking while a beautiful 21ish long-haired dark brunette in a plaid country girl top and jean shorts was standing behind the bench chatting with her, looking as gorgeous and wholesome as any girl I had seen all day.  I made a mental note of her as I walked up the block in search of some final sightings in the 10 minutes or so I had left, but when I saw nothing worthwhile I ventured back to their bench where both women were still in the same position but I heard them chatting about cigarettes.  Interesting, I thought to myself as I walked behind the bench where the hot young brunette was standing.  Sure enough, a long freshly cigarette was extending from her young fingers that couldn’t have looked more perfect and she officially became Sighting #119.  I see so few 100s these days than a freshly lit 100 like hers looked more like a 120.  I was more than content to spend my last few minutes of the night watching her smoke that cigarette, but instead she was about to bid adieu the woman and a gaggle of other people on the next bench over who were apparently in her group as she clearly knew them.  An older man was clearly scolding her about the cigarette in her hand, and not in a lighthearted way, and she tried to downplay her naughty smoking habit as much as possible as she hugged him and began to walk away.  I didn’t know where she was going but she was going there by herself and I was following….at least for awhile.  She took one drag from the cigarette as she walked but quickly turned left into the open-air fairgrounds bar The Depot with cigarette in hand, and doing so very illegally.  Workers at The Depot have clearly marked T-shirts advertising the place and she wasn’t wearing one, so she wasn’t an employee….yet she was certainly walking in there like she was.  It was a sight to behold, only I was not in a position to follow and had to abandon yet another great sighting with an unpredictable ending that worked to my disadvantage.

It was 11:55 now and I had to go to my shuttle bus which leaves right after midnight.  It’s a reasonably long walk but with as many fairgoers as there still were walking towards the buses I knew it wouldn’t be leaving without us all.  I scored a couple more minor sightings on the two-block walk to the bus and just before I left the gate an attractive blond and her boyfriend were crushing out their cigarettes, making her my 122nd and final sighting of August 15, 2015, a number high enough to qualify as my fourth-strongest Iowa State Fair day in terms of total sightings, not accounting for quality.  I was a sweaty mess when I boarded the shuttle bus and I could tell I looked like hell based on some of the looks I got as I ventured to the open seats in the back.  I wore a new pair of shoes that held up decently but are a little tight, so my feet were more sore than usual.  My biggest problem though was the heat as even though I caked myself in sunblock I laid awake most of last night with my boiling face turning my pillow into a heating pad.

I can’t really complain about the day as it was light years better than some of my worst ISF days in 2012 and 2013 but it also wasn’t one of the best.  There was a decent selection of extra-base hit sightings but not many that would be comfortable fits in a year-end greatest sightings list, at least not one worthy of my previous years’ top-25 lists.  The declining numbers of teen smoker sightings is becoming a serious problem and if it continues there’s no telling how bad these fair safaris will be five years from now with an entire generation of young people never introduced to cigarettes even in a social/party environment.  Hopefully it doesn’t come to that but it’s far and away my biggest fear based on recent trendlines.  Ideally I will pick up where things left off on Wednesday night when I plan to go after work for my annual half-day run to the Iowa State Fair for additional sightings.  Unfortunately, a major cool down is forecast for Wednesday and even for those who like cooler weather, a high of 68 degrees with 15-25 mile-per-hour wind does not make for a nice day at the fair.  If it’s as bad as forecast, I might hold off until Thursday night to go for my half-day midweek run, even though going that day will come with its own set of liabilities.  Either way, rest assured I will be returning to the Iowa State Fair for at least one more sightings adventure in the days ahead.









Posted in Real-Time Fair Sightings Reports | 5 Comments

2015 Local County Fair

Tuesday Night

There are few bigger rushes in life than the beginning of fair sightings season.  I headed into my hometown around 6 p.m. on Tuesday evening ready to begin my favorite five weeks of the year, and was extra perky since nice weather was accompanying the start of fair season.  I parked my car in my 89-year-old grandma’s convenient vacant garage across the street as I’ve been doing for a decade now and walked the 50 yards to the north side gate, ready for adventure.  The downside to this buildup is that virtually nothing happens before dark sightings-wise at my county fair in recent years.  Occasionally I’ll get lucky and score something significant before I head to the grandstand for the concert but it’s getting increasingly rare.  Tonight was unfortunately the rule and not the exception….

I navigated the grounds for an hour and a half working myself up into my usual mini-panic as I kept seeing no smoking at all.  If I wasn’t familiar with the pattern of recent years I would have gotten more upset, but I had prepared myself for this.  It still didn’t make it any easier and I lamented how as recently as five years ago conditions were not this dismal.  Finally, I saw one mediocre sighting of a Latina mother in the midway waiting for her kid to get off of a ride in the final moments before I went into the grandstand before the concert.  I told myself things had to get better and figured they would, but there are no guarantees.  I bought my $1 7UP and entered the grandstand to my preferred seating hovering over the de facto designated smoking area and the beer gardens.  Immediately, sightings numbers began to perk up….

Unfortunately the sightings I started scoring were mostly on the other side of the fence inside the beer gardens, and those sightings are usually too far away to fully appreciate, especially given how many people are packed inside and especially after dark.  Still, it was a pleasure to see a duo of mid-20s blonds in summer dresses wielding cigarettes inside the beer gardens almost immediately after I sat down.  One in particular struck my eye, but bad vantage points were my primary theme of the night and it began early as the two ladies gravitated–cigarettes in hand–to the farthest reaches of the beer garden’s north side where I could barely see them.

A modestly attractive blond mommy came out of the grandstand next with her husband and they both fired up.  Mom had a good presentation with long blond hair, a pink T-shirt, and pale blue jeans but the sighting was, once again, cut short as she and the husband and child began wandering into the fairgrounds less than a minute after lighting up in the smoking area.

Playing out next was another sighting in the crowded center of the beer gardens that just happened to be my 1,000th all-time local county fair sighting.  The location was unfortunate but the girl impressed, a short-haired brunette in a white top and jean shorts.  She was amidst a group of attractive 20-somethings and was the only smoker of the group, but suffice it to say she smoked for the four of them.  Before and during the concert by country singer Josh Turner, she smoked four cigarettes and forced her nonsmoking friends to ingest her secondhand smoke the entire time.  Unfortunately, that’s about all I can say about her.  She was too far away to get a really good look at and report on how pretty she was or how strong her performance was.  Everything looked good from where I sat, but I sat about 25 yards away.  I kept hoping to bump into her later in the night outside the beer gardens but never did.  It was pretty much that kind of night.  Even deeper in the grandstand was a brunette who looked even hotter.  She smoked two cigarettes last night but I could barely see her either time.

The concert was about to begin at 8:30 and the announcer who goes through the grandstand rules in the moments before the concerts start each night had already declared no smoking in the grandstand.  Yet just as the show was starting in came a duo of females who didn’t get the memo, parading past the gates of the grandstand with cigarettes in hand.  One was a long-haired dark blond in a black blouse and jeans who looked impressive from afar and the other was an unattractive, overweight brunette who I didn’t even count as a sighting.  I kept waiting for all hell to rain down on these women, and when they got about 15 footsteps into the grandstand, I got my answer as a police officer came barreling towards them as if they just shot somebody.  He seemed cordial at least as I watched him explain to the women that they had to go outside the gate to smoke and they took it in stride, heading that direction.  I’d see them later smoking inside the beer gardens and saw them towards the end of the night outside the beer gardens.  The dark blond was only modestly attractive and in her mid-to-late 30s, outside my preference zone but still impressive enough to qualify as a sighting and, honestly, my only sighting of the night with a genuine storyline.

But the best actual sightings of the night from the beer gardens and the smoking area played out simultaneously towards the end of the Josh Turner concert.  A trio of mid-20s gals had been hovering in the general area for most of the show and turned up at the best possible spot in the beer gardens for my vantage point when the most memorable girl in the trio–a blond in white shorts–was removing a cigarette from her pack.  She lit up and put on a pretty decent show, although there was still some issue with distance, darkness, and crowd-blocking that prevented me from getting the caliber of show I’d have preferred.  As for the two female friends, the dark brunette also lit up but she was an average beauty and had tattoos covering much of her upper arm, an instant turnoff for me.  The lighter brunette friend never smoked.  While the blond’s first cigarette didn’t produce any particularly memorable moments, she lit up again about 15 minutes later towards the end of Josh Turner’s concert, bouncing along and moving her hips to the music while trying to take pics of Turner on her camera phone.  I got to see more smoking and a much better overall display on this second cigarette as she either bounced up and down like a schoolgirl or swiveled her hips like a female Elvis in those white shorts.

On the other side of the fence in the smoking area closer to me was a long-haired light brunette mommy in tow with her young son (he looked about five), with a wonderful presentation in a long blue summer dress.  She was talking to a guy on the other side of the fence inside the beer gardens and I had a feeling she was about to light up.  It took her awhile and she unfortunately migrated behind the canopy of a food vendor blocking me from getting a direct view, but in time I saw a fresh cigarette protruding from her fingers.  I only saw a few drags and didn’t get to see her face upclose until later in the evening, but again her presentation impressed and oozed femininity.  She looked a little older than I originally anticipated when I finally got to see (I figure early 30s) but she was still pretty solid.

Another early 30s gal with an impressive presentation delivered, however briefly, towards the end of the Josh Turner concert when she and her (presumably) husband exited the concert a bit early and she produced a cigarette for her and him from her purse and lit up.  I could tell she was a little older but still attractive, but decked out like a 19-year-old girl in her pink blouse and pale denim miniskirt.  The contrast of this outfit with the gal’s extended dangling after she lit up was outstanding, but alas, it wasn’t made to last like so many other sightings last night as she and the husband spent about a minute in the smoking area and then drifted away out of sight, never to be seen again.  Grrrr!

I left the concert in the middle of Turner’s final song, hoping to get ahead of the exiting crowds.  The sea of humanity makes it hard to sniff out smokers, but by and large there just weren’t any to be found and my paranoia was starting to deepen.  I was walking south of the grandstand area and a voice inside my head was advising me to turn into a relative dark area near a couple of port-a-potties.  Within about three seconds of doing so, I stumbled upon my best sighting of the night.  This very wholesome 19-20ish light brunette decked out in a red and black flannel blouse covering a white tanktop (as often seems to be the case for my county fair, it was another cold night in the low 60s) with a pair of jean shorts underneath.  She proceeded to an open area behind one of the food stands where an unimpressive overweight boyfriend awaited.  It took me awhile to notice that he had a two-thirds-smoked cigarette himself but I couldn’t care less.  I hovered in my reasonable strong vantage point near the port-a-potties as if I was waiting for someone and watched the show, or at least what I could see in the darkened location.  The light brunette attended to her cigarette at an impressive pace, taking timely drags of decent length followed by solid four-second hold times and thin exhales as if most of the smoke was clinging to her blackened insides.  For whatever reason, her boyfriend walked away when he finished his cigarette and proceeded to sit at the food stand he had just been smoking behind.  This was perfect as it left the girl standing by herself, continuing with an impressive smoking show and distracted by her phone enough that I was able to watch closely.  She dropped the cigarette to the grass after a few minutes and then proceeded towards the boyfriend at the food stand and the pair wandered into the fairgrounds…..

My first order of business was to locate and ID her cigarette butt which I quickly did.  It was a Camel Menthol.  From there I had to try to find the couple as I wanted a better look at the smoker girl’s face.  I got lucky and found them inside the BINGO stand.  The boyfriend was seated playing BINGO and the girl was standing behind him and giving him an off and on massage (he’s got her whipped!!).  She didn’t disappoint looks-wise either, with very soft features that matched her generally wholesome presentation.  She didn’t look at all like what one would expect an early 20s smoker girl to look in 2015, and she clearly could do better than the butterball boyfriend she was so loyally attending to.

I carried this momentum to the north side of the grounds to what SHOULD have been my best sighting of the night.  I saw a couple of girls that appeared to be late teens sitting on a bench and my radar went up right away that they could be smokers.  Sure enough, the long-haired dark brunette cutie in a pink top and jean shorts had a cigarette in hand.  While she was solid enough looking, she had a couple of tattoos that kept her from living up to expectations for me.  If only the adorable and wholesome younger-looking blond sitting next to her smoked too, I thought to myself.  I barely had time to process that thought before the cigarette was handed to blondie who proceeded to take a solid drag.  Now we’re talking!  I had a problem though that in this remote part of the grounds I couldn’t just hover there in front of the bench and watch her performance without telling on myself.  Still, I knew I wasn’t gonna find a hotter girl than this smoking last night.  I got creative and starting looking at the farm equipment behind them, enabling me to look between the equipment and see the girls from the rear, including the blond who proceeded to smoke the rest of the cigarette herself.  I just had to get a better look before she was done and proceeded back towards their front just in time to see her take her final drag, toss the butt to the grass, and get up with the friend to walk into a more populated part of the fairgrounds.  When I sat at the bench, the beautiful colors of a white and green Marlboro Light Menthol butt lie there in the grass with the still-smoldering cherry glowing bright red.  It was just beautiful to behold that a hot teen blond was responsible for that.

I followed the girls a bit and got a better look at the blond’s face, and was she ever a knockout.  She definitely looked younger than the brunette and had I not seen her in the company of the brunette, I’d have figured she wasn’t even 18.  My suspicion of the age difference was confirmed just a few minutes later when I peered towards the north side fence on the beer gardens and saw a familiar brunette in a pink top and jean shorts inside the beer garden fence….while a familiar looking blond in a white blouse and dark blue jeans was waiting outside, not yet 21 and unable to get inside.  Amazingly, the blond was already smoking another cigarette while the brunette inside was not.  Even being blessed with a second chance here, I couldn’t make good on it as the vantage point for this sighting was considerably worse even than the last as the girls were blackened silhouettes in a dark corner, illuminatied only by blondie’s cigarette, with no vantage point to realistically observe.  These two were killing me!

I saw the girls on the midway about 15 minutes later without cigarettes and took the opportunity to head to their now-vacant spot outside of the beer gardens fence to see if I could find another Marlboro Light Menthol butt.  I didn’t, so I progressed back to the midway to see if I could find them again, and I did….sitting on a bench eating fair food.  The blond was so beautiful.  I found a nearby bench to hover, hoping blondie would light up again.  Instead, 11:00 arrived and the midway went dark.  More on that in a bit but the girls got up to leave along with everybody else and I followed them hoping to catch one more cigarette.  They left slowly and bought a lemonade and a bag of cotton candy.  Now last year I had a sighting of a hottie smoking while eating cotton candy, but in this case I had a bad feeling the cotton candy purchased killed my chances for another cigarette being smoked.  And sure enough, they exited the north side grandstand gate eating their cotton candy.  I even followed them to the parking lot in hopes they’d finish the dessert and light up a cigarette when they got to their car but no luck.  That blond was easily worthy of my year-end top-25 but I’ll have to see more from her than what I did for her to qualify.  There are four more nights of the fair so I’m crossing my fingers.

I expected my evening was probably done with an abysmal 16 sightings after the midway went lights out at 11.  This is the second year of the midway shutting down early, which is a sightings killer as it rapidly depopulates the entire grounds.  Worse yet, with the midway empty I am reduced to encircling the same loop and walking past the same fairgoers (and cops!) repeatedly on an already small fairgrounds.  There were dozens of kids in line to go on rides as there is every night still at 11 but the midway just shut down and sent them walking.  One would think this would be bad for business but the fair apparently wants it because they invited this midway outfit back for a second year.  Thankfully I got some lucky breaks and boosted my sightings numbers in the final half hour.  A blond and brunette duo of 17-18ish girls caught my eye while I was pursuing the blond beauty out of the fairgrounds.  These two were decently attractive and I wished I had time to see more from them.  At the very least it was nice to see there were still some teen girls in Minnesota who were smoking.  The blond even retrieved a cigarette from a pack in her purse, making it less likely to dismiss her as a mere social smoker.

But it was another cluster of 17-18ish girls a few minutes later on the north edge of the midway that really saved my bacon numbers-wise.  Two girls in a group of six were standing their BSing and I could see two of them had cigarettes.  One was a little chubby but cute enough to count but the other was a hot blond in very tight white shorts who was much prettier.  And while I had a good bench to sit and watch, the blond always seemed to either have her back to me or surrounded by other girls.  Luckily, the show was just getting started as two more cork filter cigarettes were produced by two more girls in the group.  One was overweight and unattractive, but the other was a gorgeous 18ish brunette in a black top and tight-fitting jean shorts caressing her amazing ass and crotch.  She was the beauty of the group, and here she stood with an unlit cigarette dangling from her lips for a good 60 seconds before somebody produced a lighter and she lit herself up.  I got to see a couple of nice drags and the blond was finally in full view too.  It looked like I finally got the break I needed when all hell broke loose once again.  The brunette pointed to something and nudged the blond to follow.  The girls disappeared with cigarettes in hand behind a food stand and I gave them no more than five seconds to come back into view before attempting to follow.  But where the hell were they?  Seriously….I lost them!  I lurked every direction for the next several minutes flabbergasted how I managed to lose the two sexiest teen girls left on the nearly empty fairgrounds.  And I never did see them again during my remaining 20 minutes on the grounds either.  This is just how Tuesday night went for me!

I had one final interesting encounter as I spotted a 17ish Asian girl proceeding right down the main drag of the fairgrounds with a cigarette in hand, decked out in a white top and gray leggings that covered a very nice teen female figure.  I wasn’t able to see her face as I followed but she attended to that cigarette regularly and was constantly exhaling plumes of smoke that I had the luxury of walking through.  She cut between food stands at an unusual spot and I followed.  In seconds, it became clear she was on a break from the Tom Thumb Mini-Donuts stand.  She opened the door for the stand, crushed her cigarette out on her shoe and then proceeded to step inside the stand and put on her apron, undoubtedly stinking of fresh smoke and causing one or more of her fellow workers to recoil in disgust.  I got a good look at her face before pressing on.  She wasn’t an incredible beauty by any means (I’d guess she was southeast Asian) but had that very innocent Asian girl look about her that made her smoking performance I had just witnessed all the more sexy.

While the night wasn’t a complete disaster, it was my weakest opening night at the fair both in terms of numbers and quality in several years.  I ended up with 24 sightings which isn’t horrible but definitely below average.  My local county fair is probably poised to decline as a venue.  That midway closing an hour early is absolutely killing my sightings numbers.  It’s probably safe to assume that my 2010 sightings haul of 144 will hold up forever barring an unforeseen fluke and I might be lucky to even score 100 this year.  I definitely hope the coming four nights hold something better than tonight did.



Wednesday Night

Last year, Wednesday was my best night by far.  This year wasn’t bad but certainly didn’t produce any instant classics.  Several of the evening’s 20 sightings were repeaters from prior years.  That’s one of the upsides of the local county fair.  I can pretty much follow smoker girls as they mature given that I’m likely to see some of them every year.  This is not always an upside, however, as I was reminded of tonight.  More on that later.   The other downside with so many repeaters is that there isn’t nearly as much new blood as there used to be.  The replacement smokers do not seem to be there, and I’m fearful that particularly at this fair I could be seeing seriously diminishing returns in the years ahead with teen smoking rates so abysmal.

Anyway, I arrived at the grounds about 45 minutes later than the previous night since the daylight hours at this fair tend to be so dead.  As luck would have it though, I would see my first girl smoking within a couple minutes of arrival on Wednesday.  I had said I wanted to see that gorgeous blond from the night before again on future nights.  I didn’t see her unfortunately, but the girl whose sighting won Tuesday night was back for an encore…..the wholesome 19ish light brunette who smoked behind a dark food stand the night before in the company of her chubby boyfriend and then proceeded to play BINGO.  Well on Wednesday night she was in a cluster with the same boyfriend and three other girls.  She was the only smoking at the time, looking as adorable as ever in a utilitarian purple tanktop and jean shorts.   I hovered in an awkward spot briefly before she proceeded the direction I was going along with the boyfriend and one other female friend.   I followed close behind and tested out my new camera phone which has features I like and features I don’t like.  I didn’t get a decent frontal shot but got a couple of nice side and rear shots showing her strutting through the fairgrounds with cigarette in hand, taking the same nicely timed drags from the night before.  Her cigarette was half smoked when I first spotted her so the show ended too quickly with a piggish butt disposal, dropping it to the pavement and halfheartedly crushing it out with her foot before pressing forward.  The night before she was smoking Camel Menthols but her discarded butt tonight was a Camel Crush Bold.  Good sign that she goes through cigarettes pretty quickly.  She and the friend and boyfriend were migrated towards a parking lot behind the buildings so I figured they were leaving for the day….but I was wrong.

Less than a half hour later, scoring no other sightings of significance, the same girl came through again not far from where she smoked the night before, wielding yet another smelly cigarette, this one just recently lit.  Without any place for me to sit, it was still a somewhat awkward vantage point but I again pretended to be looking at stuff a vendor was selling and watched her from the corner of my eye, scoring a distant photo that might turn out better when I enlarge it.  Whatever the case, it was another solid show of nicely timed drags and decent exhales.  She won’t win any Nobel prizes for stylishness but she’s a solid smoker who’s enjoyable to see smoke particularly because of her wholesome presentation.  The boyfriend once again made it easy for me as he was off somewhere else leaving her to smoke alone.  When she finished this cigarette, she leaned against a shed and started texting, perhaps inquiring where he disappeared to.  I’d be more than happy to take her off the boyfriend’s hands if he has other priorities!

With only two other mediocre sightings, I headed into the grandstand around 8:00 to secure my favorite seat about a half hour before the concert by new country guy Frankie Ballard.  I could tell right away the crowd in the grandstand and in the adjacent beer gardens was considerably smaller than the night before.  I stayed at the concert until about 9:20 and got all of two sightings from inside the beer gardens before I decided I had to get out of there if I was to get any decent sightings at all last night.  And while I did get out of there, my next sighting actually came….in the exact area I just vacated as when I was walking past a few minutes later a late 20s dark brunette with dark complexion  was standing alone in the smoking area firing up a cigarette.  She looked familiar and I’m sure she had been counted as one of my sightings in the past at this fair.  She was the most adept dangler I’d seen in quite a while, standing there working her phone with her cigarette hanging out of her mouth for long stretches.  It was a very sexy display and I got to watch a couple minutes of it before an older woman who clearly knew her from somewhere approached her to chat and obstructed my view.

The concert soon ended and the grandstand began to empty out.  I was searching for sightings in the general area around the south side of the grandstand and spotted a cluster of what appeared to wholesome teenage girls hovering behind a set of food stands that had been familiar to me in the last couple of days.  It took a couple of seconds to process that it was her AGAIN!  Her being my wholesome light brunette who I had seen smoking twice before the concert.  She was with her boyfriend and three female friends puffing on another cigarette in a very inconvenient spot for me to observe.  I walked slowly in front of the vendor stands so I could look in between and this time a dark brunette was lighting up a cigarette of her own.  She wasn’t in the league of the heavy-smoking light brunette ringleader but she was cute.  There was an ever cuter blond in the cluster but unfortunately she never lit up.  Being as familiar as I was to this light brunette after watching her smoke most of three cigarettes in the last 24 hours, I couldn’t push my luck so I split, hard as that was.  With four cigarettes under her belt in two days, the chances are rising this girl makes my top-25 list at year’s end.

And she wouldn’t be the last familiar female face I’d happen upon exhaling carcinogenic smoke.  As I looped around the livestock-heavy north side of the grounds, I spotted a cluster of 18-19-year-olds that included four girls and a guy.  The only smoker in the group was a chubby long-haired brunette in a pink top and turquoise pants.  Despite being the chubbiest girl in the group, I got a vibe from her and sat down on a nearby bench to observe.  As so often happens, her back was to me so I could only watch her take drags without a revelation of her face.  After about a minute or so, she finally looked my general direction and I got to see the face.  It was a girl I saw smoking twice last summer who I figured was 18 at the time.  I pushed my luck both times trying to get a closer look at her last year and was spotted, so I didn’t want to be a hovering presence again and got up to leave without watching much of her smoking.  I’d see her one more time on the grounds about 15 minutes later.  It’s too bad she has such husky hips because she has a very pretty face.

And during the minute or so I was sitting on that bench, another ghost of smoker girls past zipped on past me.  The sighting I’ve currently rated as my FCF #37 began back in 2012 with a 17-ish dark brunette with poofed up and a face with very memorable and dramatic features who was sitting on a bench smoking a cigarette in the midway where her nonsmoking boyfriend stopped to chat and then kissed her ashtray mouth before walking away.  The following year, I spotted her again very briefly in a shared cigarette sighting.  Then I saw her again last year…..about eight months pregnant.  Fast forward to 2014 and that same memorable face and very dark brown hair was pushing a stroller past me in the company of (presumably) the baby daddy wearing a very utilitarian and autumnal black sweatshirt and dark jeans…..and the stroller had a pack of Marlboro Light Menthols in it.  I have followed this girl’s smoking habit from her teen years to young adulthood and was pleased to get the chance to continue doing so.  She wasn’t smoking as she wheeled on by but I count it as an official sighting if the presence of a pack of cigarettes gives me significant reason to believe the girl smokes….and it didn’t hurt that I already knew this girl smoked from years past!  I’d see the couple in another part of the grounds a few minutes later, and this time the baby daddy was vaping from his electronic cigarette.  Mommy still wasn’t smoking, but I liked this dynamic where he seemed to be the vaper while she was the actual smoker.  Another 15 minutes and the sighting was confirmed.   Hiding on a bench surrounded by farm equipment, dad sat with the stroller in front of him while mommy sat on the other side smoking her cigarette.  I got to see a few drags and her exhales impressed just as they did three years ago when she released them into the night sky.  I was able to see about five drags before she dropped the butt to the grass and prepared to leave.  As expected, the butt was a Marlboro Light Menthol (although she was smoking Marlboro Blacks three years ago).  This reunion with a veteran FCF smoker girl went better than my next one.

And that next reunion came only about 10 minutes later.  A cluster of 21-ish guys and girls were loitering on the main drag when I spotted a brunette girl smoking a cigarette.  It took a while to get a good look at her face but the second I did there wasn’t a shadow of a doubt that was it the legendary dark brunette who is the spitting image of actress Marla Sokoloff.  Her brash and epic chainsmoking shows from 2013 catapulted her as high as FCF #7 on my greatest hits list.  Unfortunately, these past two years have not been kind.  That smoking hot body in tight jean shorts two years ago had put on a good 20 pounds, and it was abundantly evident in her previously world-class posterior.  She was wearing a wildly unsexy black sweatshirt and unflattering jean shorts that could not have contrasted more with her sexpot presentation from two years earlier.  I did my best to focus on her face, which still had that brash beauty to it and from what I was able to see she was still a skilled and stylish smoker.  Unfortunately, I was once again struggling to find a workable vantage point and wasn’t able to find one.  I caught up with her again a few minutes later (sans the cigarette) and her swollen backside began to make a little more sense as I saw her lifting a child out of a stroller.  Now it’s possible this was just a friend’s baby who she was attending to briefly while the friend was in line at a nearby food vendor, but judging from the dramatic change to her body, my suspicion is a little one passed through those once-glorious hips.  If the baby is hers, it’s a pretty safe bet he or she became addicted to nicotine in the womb.

Towards the end of the night, I would see “Marla” again, standing in another challenging location with two of her guy friends and smoking another cigarette.  In a way it didn’t bother me that I wasn’t well-positioned to watch this sighting play out because I wouldn’t want this legend’s present bodily condition to undermine her first-rate body of work from two years ago.  I won’t allow what she’s become to diminish those memories and the easiest way to do that is to not dwell on her decline.  Moments after I saw her smoking that second cigarette, she was on a bench in my direct line of vision for the first time, although not smoking.  I guess it was meant to be this way, and all I can hope for is she takes off that baby weight and makes a pleasantly surprising return to the 2016 local county fair with the same servitude to nicotine but her old body back.  Seems like a long shot though.

At around 11:00, the midway was about to close and I didn’t even have 10 sightings yet!  I’d get that 10th sighting on the north side of the midway from a petite, curly-haired brunette in glasses in a pink top and jean shorts who looked about 19 and at least partially Hispanic.  She was in a group of mostly guys and I saw her smoking two cigarettes in the next half hour.  There was nothing overly memorable about her or her performance but it was satisfying to see an attractive young girl from the key demographic helping to keep smoking alive.

Another attractive brunette keeping smoking alive was lurking in another huddle of young people.  This one was a slender dark brunette with some unfortunate facial piercings obstructing an otherwise pretty face.  She was the only smoker in the mixed-gender group telling a story that included the quote “right after I turned 21” which surprised me a little because I wouldn’t have guessed she was 21.  Girls look younger than used to.  No 21-year-old looked like her when I was a boy.  Included in this cluster was a girl I hoped to see smoking as she was lurking in the presence of smokers twice tonight, and that was this girl named Erin who’s the former mayor’s daughter and has a fluffy weekly column in the town newspaper.  She raised my eyebrows recently with a column where she said she had just bought a motorcycle so there’s some oddball bad girl stuff arising.  At least in my presence, this bad girl phase has not yet included tobacco use unfortunately.

A decent “sort of” sighting transpired in a mostly vacant seating area on the south side of the grounds where I noticed a trio of mostly unattractive alternative-looking girls, but the best looking of the three–a long-haired dark brunette with black lipstick–had a pack of Newports right in front of her.  I sat down just in case she’d light up when she finished eating.  She jokingly complained to her friends that she “spent her last five dollars on this” (presumably in reference to the fair food she was eating).  When she never lit up I left, but still counted her since it seemed like a sure thing that those Newports were hers.

I was able to breathe a little easier in my final 15 minutes as I avoided calamity numbers-wise, stitching together new sightings more rapidly than I had at any other point in the night despite the declining population of fairgoers.  Amazingly enough, the Tom Thumb Mini-Donut stand delivered, this time with TWO young girls.  The previous night I got to follow that Asian girl as she returned to the stand with a cigarette.  Last night, the Asian girl was again en route back to the Tom Thumb stand…and so was a white friend, a dark blond cutie who looked about 18 with a fairly freshly lit cigarette in hand.  The duo pressed forward down the main stretch of the grounds wielding their cigarettes and wearing matching white tops and gray leggings that tightly packaged their sculpted asses.  Blondie even managed to cut loose two lugies in a very short distance.  I just love cute smoker girls who are also chronic spitters.  As the duo arrived at the donut stand, the Asian girl crushed out her cigarette on her shoe as she did the night before and stepped inside, but not the blond.  She hovered outside to finish hers, and with a few open benches literally right in front of her, I’d get to watch her smoke.  A guy inside the stand gave me an added bonus by dropping her name…twice.  He called her Megan, the perfect name for this wholesome girl-next-door cutie who proceeded to take very nice drags from her cork filter and produce the cloudiest exhales I’d seen all night.  It was a treat to watch this from just a few feet away and I got to see a good seven drags before she dropped it to the grass and then walk inside the donut stand to force her coworkers to choke on her foul odor.  But right when I thought the show was over, “Megan” had one more surprise for me.  She stood at the doorway of the Tom Thumb stand and hocked up one more juicy lugie that landed several feet outside with impressive velocity.  After she closed the door behind her I IDed her discarded but….a Marlboro No. 27.

The same series of benches at the edge of the midway near where Marla 2.0 was provided my penultimate sighting of the night.  A duo of early 20s blonds sat at a bench and one of them–the prettiest of the two–was smoking a freshly lit cigarette.  She had curly blond hair and wore a gray sweatshirt and black leggings, sitting there with a plate of food in front of her face that I’m assuming she was finished with.  The marquee moment of the sighting came as I approached and I watched her release a thunderous exhale where smoke engulfed the table full of food in front of her.  That was hot stuff.  I was prepared for good stuff all around as the friend across the table from her used her own sweatshirt to cover her face.  It wasn’t that cold outside so unless she was really cold-blooded, my suspicion was she was covering her face to avoid her friend’s ciggy stench.  It was impressive to behold, at least for the 10 seconds or so I had a good vantage point.  A trio of male friends thoughtlessly swooped in and sat in my direct line of vision denying me anything more than peripheral observation of the blond smoking.  It was so infuriating, and thus far the theme of this year’s county fair.  The grounds were too sparse for me to get adventuresome and move to her other side as the risk of getting caught was too high.  I looked over my shoulder as I walked away and sort of caught another drag.  This is another sighting that had the potential to be quite a bit more but was derailed by inconvenient logistics.

It was about 11:20 and I was on my final lap of the night, heading down the main commercial block nearest the grandstand when I saw a cluster of guys smoking with a couple of females hidden amidst them.  There was an air of familiarity about them from afar and it hit me instantly that I bet these were the guys smoking with “Sarah” last year, the 18-ish blond who I saw smoking her Marlboro Lights on three different nights and who was my #23 sighting of the 2014 fair season.  As I got closer, I saw there was a blond female with a cigarette in hand and my suspicions grew.  Suddenly, this female calls out to another guy her age who was walking nearby.  Before I even got close enough to see her face, my theory was vindicated as the guy she was talking to responded with “Hey Sarah, how are you doing?”  Just as I was passing, I saw Sarah and she was still a cute blond with a nice body, although her black T-shirt and dark jean shorts combination didn’t dazzle me quite as much as last year’s blue tanktop and white shorts did.  Still, the familiar presence of her Marlboro Light in hand was a sight for sore eyes and I was treated to a pleasant surprise when she began to talk to this guy.  This husky-well-beyond-her-years voice emerged from Sarah, indicating that her Marlboro Lights addiction is heavier than I may have suspected before and is probably already doing a number on vocal chords.  My problem with “Sarah” last summer is that I could never position myself to watch her smoke or even see more than a single stray drag.  Unfortunately, the same was true last night, and the crowd was too sparse for me to try to get too cute.  I barely got a look at her face at all on my second pass let alone watch her smoking as the guys in her group seem to almost do a ring-around-the-rosie encircling her repeatedly to keep anyone from seeing her smoke.  It’s infuriating.   I guess I have three more nights in which I can hope to see more from her because she’s a great smoker but I seem to be cursed with this girl, and perhaps every girl this fair season!

So that was my night.  At times it seemed like a family reunion of local county fair girls past, with some pleasant and unpleasant surprises regarding who held up and who didn’t.  If nothing else, it was nice to see that the smokers of the past are still smoking, and it blows me away that smoking is holding up even as well as it is in Minnesota with the average pack going for like $8.50 plus tax.  I’m not sure where I was last year after more impressive Tuesday and Wednesday night hauls but with last night’s 20 sightings I am only up to 44 over my first two days, which isn’t overly impressive but at the same time the bottom has not appeared to have fallen out.  This year’s FCF still has a lot of work to do to live up to the best of what it’s delivered in the past (the four-year stretch from 2010 to 2013 was absolutely incredible) but I still have three more nights to capture lightning in a bottle.



Thursday Night

Even though I had only gotten about two hours of sleep the night before, I headed to Night 3 of my county fair with a burst of energy that I had been unable to muster up during the day.  Rain was in the forecast for the late evening but there was a chance it would stay north of my town, and at the very least they expected to get the grandstand concert by country singer Tyler Farr in.  I crossed the street from my grandma’s place to enter the gates not really expecting much, not recognizing that the day was about to begin in a dramatic way with a sighting that mirrored–albeit less dramatically in both instances–the course of my two most epic sightings from 2013, both in my all-time FCF top-10.  And it all started with me observing a country girl sexpot in a group of four entering the gates, a long-haired light brunette who stood out among the foursome for both her beauty and her tight body draped in skin-tight blue jeans and a pair of cowboy boots, with a red flannel shirt on top.  The presentation drew me in, but I never gave a second thought to possible tobacco use until I walked in through the gate myself moments later.  Suddenly, the hottest girl of the group was standing there waiting for her other three friends to join her….with a half-smoked cork filter cigarette protruding from her fingers.  I’m sure other fairgoers pass by the ticket takers at the gate with cigarettes in hand over the course of the five-day fair, but I bet few are as beautiful and sexy as her!  Just like Marla Sokoloff 2.0 in 2013, the games had begun at the starting gate tonight, and I was rarin’ to go!

My light brunette was a curious and adorable mix of wholesome country girl and subdued badass, the kind of girl with IT factor who you know is likely to be in your top-25 year-end countdown the moment you spot her smoking.  As for her friends, there was an attractive blond with a similar country girl outfit who was the next best-looking.  The other two were dark brunettes, neither of which did much for me although one was prettier than the other and the other one held a pack of Camel Menthol Lights in her hand.  Back to the main event girl, I got to see a couple of her drags and they were satisfying, but I made a bold effort to ready my new camera phone for some shots and probably missed a couple more drags in the process of preparing for snapshots.  I got a couple solid pics of her world-class backside before walking parallel to her attempting a bold maneuver of getting an upclose shot of her at my side….and it would have worked….except I don’t yet have the subtleties of my less-user-friendly-than-the-last-one camera phone down and my left hand was covering the upper portion of the lens, leaving only her legs in the shots.  Grrr!  And I could tell by the way she was holding her cigarette that she had snuffed out the cherry and finished it, holding onto it until she got to the next garbage can.  Sure enough, at the next garbage can she tossed the butt inside.  As I passed, I looked inside and immediately spotted the cork filter butt lying inside an empty tub of food and IDed it as a Marlboro Red.  Now that’s the way to start a day at the county fair!

Unfortunately I’d run into more obstacles right away as I lost the group in the crowd while stopping to ID the butt.  I spent about a half hour traversing the grounds looking for this girl as right away I sensed something special about her and needed more than what I saw from her thus far to qualify a top-tier blog-worthy sighting.  As I tried to retrace my steps to figure out where she could have vanished to, it hit me that she and the friends may have gone into the beer gardens.  The reason I didn’t think of this before is because the girls didn’t seem 21.  My light brunette country girl in particular seemed more like 19.  But after about a half hour, I got sweet relief when I spotted the four friends outside the beer gardens briefly and I was able to snap a couple pretty good frontal pics (albeit nonsmoking) before they headed back into the beer gardens.  While the beer gardens wasn’t an ideal place for them to spend much of the evening, I could at least keep tabs on them from my seat in the grandstand during the show, albeit it at a long distance.

But before I get to the grandstand portion of the night, I stumbled another impressive girl who was very consequential during the evening during that half hour when I was searching for the light brunette country girl.  A duo of 21ish gals, one blond and one brunette, were walking down a heavily populated stretch on the south side of the grounds.  Both were pretty without having overflowing IT factor, but the long-haired brunette in a green blouse and jeans with a baseball cap on her head surprised me being in possession of a mostly smoked cigarette in this heavily populated area.  I did a 180 and began following them as they weaved through a seating area en route to a trapeze show the fair is putting on this year.  The brunette took a couple of final drags before tossing the butt to the grass and proceeding towards the seating for the trapeze show.  I had no problem identifying the discarded butt as a Newport Red, not one I see every day.  I then tried to follow the girls to the seating area and hopefully snap a stealth photo but they were too quick and ended up seating in the middle of a large set of bleachers surrounded by people, several of whom undoubtedly were annoyed by the fresh cigarette stench on that brunette.  I got another close look upon passing and she was indeed a fresh-faced young cutie.  The blond was probably a touch prettier but the brunette was hot as well and definitely didn’t fit the profile of a smoker gal in 2015.

Back to the grandstand concert, I took my seat earlier than usual tonight in attempt to keep tabs on the country girl brunette and her friends who I saw go inside.  Unfortunately, they found a distant back table inside the beer gardens where even in the remaining daylight hours I was unable to see them, and the best I could do was watch their hands which were unobstructed by the overhead canopy in hopes that those hands would be in possession of a cigarette.  At one point I even did the unthinkable and abandoned my cherished grandstand seat to a place closer to the stage where I could look inside the beer gardens from a different angle.  This worked to an extent, but when none of the girls (or the smart young fellows who found them) lit up I decided to go back to my old seat, and was rewarded with the most active night the smoking area has seen in a few years.

Just as the show was starting an early 20s blond and brunette duo snuck out for a cigarette.  Now this was the kind of show I remember getting in the smoking area regularly five years ago as the blond produced a pack of Marlboro Light Menthols (suddenly those seem to popular in my area again) and removed two cigarettes, one for each of them.  They lit up and proceeded to give me a very nice show with solid nicely timed drags and their own distinctive exhales.  The blond, who by the way had long hair and was wearing a gray top and pale blue jean shorts, always produced a long-distance straight ahead stream with her exhales which fired out of her mouth like a cannon for a couple of feet before dissipating in the dusk air.  The brunette, who was just as pretty as the blond and was wearing a pink top and dark blue jeans, was a bit sloppier with her exhales with gushes of smoke flowing from her face followed by the residual wisp coming out of her nose.  The contrast was delightful as my eyes darted back and forth from each girl as she exhaled while they listened intently to Tyler Farr’s opening song, and you could set your watch by the predictability of each girl’s differing exhale style.  The blond finished her cigarette first and tossed it to the grass in an easy-to-mark place and the brunette did the same after a couple of final drags.  They went back into the show and I already missed them, but positively IDed their butts on the way out 45 minutes later as Marlboro Light Menthols.

Now in the last few years, you feel lucky to get one sighting of hotties like that smoking in the smoking area outside the grandstand on a given night.  But about 15 minutes later, another trio of college-aged girls gathered there for a cigarette in the company of a guy.  One of the girls wore a Winona State University sweatshirt and made me wonder if she–or possibly all of them–were students there.  Anyway, none of the girls in this trio were as attractive or as memorable of smokers as the previous duo, but with three above-average college girls smoking right in front of where I sat, I sure wasn’t gonna be complaining!   The group consisted of two brunettes and one dark blond.  The brunettes were the more attractive of the two and despite the lack of stylistic flourishes I was on cloud nine watching all three girls take drags from their cigarettes and producing an almost constant cacophony of exhaled cigarette smoke in their immediate area.  My favorite brunette of the bunch finished her cigarette first, followed by the second brunette, and lastly the blond.  They all cooperatively tossed their butts to the grass before going back into the show with the guy.  For reasons I will discuss in the next paragraph, I left the concert about 10 minutes later and when I did I tried to ID their butts but the trio of cork filter butts did not have an identifiable logo oddly enough.

But it was a familiar face leaving the grandstand around 9:15 that triggered my departure.  Two familiar 21ish females exited the grandstand, an attractive blond and the long-haired brunette with the baseball cap from earlier, and she was holding her pack of Newport Reds in her hand.  I have no idea why so many smokers refuse to stand and smoke in the designated smoking area where I could observe them without leaving my chair but she and her friend kept right on walking.  I was preparing to leave the concert anyway but this development expedited my departure.  I foraged for the discarded butts of the aforementioned groups of smokers before pressing forward and quickly discovered the brunette in the baseball cap sitting on a bench behind the grandstand having just lit up a cigarette.  I was hoping the blond friend would light up this time as well but she never did.  The bench she sat on was part of a cluster of benches and I found an open spot on the bench behind her to observe.  She was a skilled smoker with some serious exhales.  One in particular whipped around like a funnel cloud forming and swirled in a massive tornado of smoke that swirled above her head.  Not every exhale was that dramatic but they were all cloudy and impressive.  She made quick work of the cigarette and some guy was approaching the girls who apparently was part of their group even though I didn’t see him with them before.  The brunette finished off her cigarette and dropped the butt to the grass before the three of them went back into the concert.

But suddenly my attention was diverted elsewhere as the girl who captured my imagination at the very beginning of the night  was exiting the beer gardens with her female friends and a couple of guys they either just met inside or were already friends with.  It was obvious my light brunette cowgirl had a few beers in her at this point as she was acting a little silly.  She didn’t light up right away but I had a strong expectation that she would and I had a great location at this bench to watch.  It took about three minutes before her friend with a purse broke out a pack of Marlboro Reds and handed her a cigarette and a lighter.  The moment I had been waiting for since I set foot on the grounds had arrived and she was lighting up, releasing a doozy of a skyward exhale after the light-up.  Seeing this tight package of a young female in such tight jeans with that long freshly lit cigarette protruding from her fingers got my adrenaline rushing every bit as much as I hoped it would.  And it’s a good thing I was getting off just watching her hold the cigarette because she was much more attentive to her conversation with the friends than she was with the cigarette, dragging much less frequently than I’d have preferred but always impressing when she did.  After a couple of minutes and about three drags, the group drifted into the main block of food vendors which temporarily terrified me as I was about to lose my vantage point.  But the change of location ended up working out and added even more color to the sighting as she was now drunkenly wielding her cigarette in the most crowded block of the fairgrounds.  A sighting that started out mirroring my trajectory with the original 2013 Marla Sokoloff 2.0 epic was now mirroring the storyline of my even more epic Pall Mall princess from the same year.  I even drifted to the same series of benches as I did with that sighting to watch my cowgirl tonight.  And the best was yet to come….

While she still took agonizingly long between drags, she was just fun to watch, and never was she more fun as she was near the back of this line for a food vendor where a teenage girl in shorts was at her side.  My smoker girl’s cigarette was terrifyingly close to the teen girl’s ass and getting closer by the second as the two started aimlessly drifting towards each other, and I swear her fiery chariot of tobacco got as close as inch from the innocent teen’s ass in one brief instant.  But just in time, my light brunette pulled the cigarette to her mouth for the nicest drag I’d see from her, a five-second behemoth which I got to behold in all its glory as the cherry glowed in the night.  Her group of friends was huddled about two feet in front of her after the drag, and instead of making an effort to direct her exhales away from them, she marched right on up to the huddle.  I couldn’t believe my eyes when she released from her mouth and nose a torpedo of filth directly in front of her in this tight huddle.  I’m sure it was unintentional, but everybody in that group was breathing in her carcinogens at that point.  It was quite possibly the most obnoxious direct hit of smoke I’ve ever seen from a smoker girl and she had now officially become the first girl of this fair season to become a Hall of Famer.

And it’s a good thing she delivered when she did as well because her group drifted away less than a minute later and I had the damndest time finding them as the concert was letting out and there were crowds of people exiting the grandstand.  Thankfully I did catch up a couple of minutes later and saw her taking one final drag before crushing out her cigarette.  Unfortunately, my inability to see her smoking the whole cigarette may have prevented her from realizing her full potential on my all-time hits list, but she certainly did enough to qualify with what I saw.  I kept tabs on her for the remaining half hour or so and at one point got giddy when her friend opened up her purse again, but this time instead of cigarettes the friend took out a pair of sunglasses.  It was 10 p.m. and this hottie was gonna wear sunglasses as she and her group drifted into the midway, adding even more character to her colorful profile.  They got in line to go down the big slide at the edge of the midway and I watched from afar, jealous of both the surface of the slide and the potato sack she was sitting on that they got to have such a close encounter with that tremendous ass in one of the tightest pairs of blue jeans I’ve ever seen as she slid down.  From there, they went to the bathroom and back into the beer gardens, donning her sunglasses apparently for the rest of the night but unfortunately never to smoke again, at least in my line of vision.  Nice to have at least one genuinely blockbuster find from this year’s FCF though.

And wouldn’t you know it….the night where I finally truly broke through and was scoring a decent selection of sightings was the night where rain was about to ruin everything.  They got through the concert rain-free but there was lightning to the northwest and it became abundantly clear as 10:00 approached that storms would arrive before the end of the evening at the fair did.  Before the rain started falling though I found two couples hovering near a grandstand entrance all smoking cigarettes.  A mid-20s blond in a black top and jeans dominated my attention of the group though.  She was a genuine beauty and right up there with my light brunette cowgirl in terms of IT factor.  What she didn’t have was a location where I could watch her smoke.  I hovered near her for a minute or so and caught one very nice drag, but my field of vision was obstructed even there.  I then started walking away but positioned myself where I could watch her while walking by and caught one more drag that I got to see in detail and she knocked it out of the park with a solid five-second drag and a cloudy exhale.   I tried to loop around and see her again but she was gone by the time I got there.  She may have been gone, but the rain…that was just starting.

Now the rain typically has one upside in that the crowds head under canopies and anyplace with cover, and amongst those crowds you will find some smokers.  This happened during that first bout of rain as I found myself under a canopy with a cluster that included two modestly attractive early 20s brunettes smoking cigarettes.  Surprisingly, after about five minutes, the rain stopped (or so it seemed at least) but the damage was done.  The lively and young crowd had already started to thin out and I more than likely lost on a few would-be sightings.  At this point though, I was just grateful that it was dry again and I could continue fetishing.  Doing so, I found myself behind a couple of decent mid-20s party girls wielding cigarettes, the better of which was a blond in a white tanktop and jean shorts.  She wasn’t an epic find or anything but it was a nice bonus sighting in the minutes after the first downpour ended.  One of her exhales nailed someone in the face which was pretty hot.  The gals were heading into the beer gardens but blondie stood outside to finish the last couple of drags of her cigarette before stepping inside, tossing the all-white butt to the grass.  Once she went inside I stepped up and identified it as yet another Marlboro Light Menthol!  I’ve gotten more MML sightings at this FCF than I have in the last year or so!  Not sure why, but I like the colors of MML with the green rings so if they’re making a comeback you won’t hear any complaints out of me.

Now the dry conditions lasted about 20 minutes and while I considered the possibility that the rain wasn’t done, I was taken a bit by surprise when the sky opened up again around 10:30 and this downpour was more significant and lasted considerably longer than the first.  I was under a canopy in the midway with a cluster of benches and there was one modestly attractive 17ish girl in there smoking.  But my fantasy was for the sexpot 14-year-old cuties sitting on the bench next to me to light up.  I knew it was a million to one odds but a guy can dream, and looking their direction to see the brunette in leggings and the even hotter blond in tiny white shorts, I thought to myself I could be looking at new all-time best FCF sighting if they did light up sitting right next to me waiting out torrential rain.  But alas, they never did and when the rain finally let up just a little bit after about 15 minutes of downpours, I decided to take off.  I had 21 sightings on the night but made one smart move and walked past the entryway to the beer gardens on my way out of the fairgrounds.  No fewer than three attractive 20-somethings dressed in their cowgirl duds (plaid blouse and jean shorts/cutoffs) were standing in a huddle of people smoking cigarettes under that canopy.  I didn’t have long to admire, especially since the rain was still coming down pretty hard, but was happy to pad my sightings numbers with a three-for-one at the last minute and end the night with 24.

This really is not my year for the FCF.  I finally get a night where there are a decent number of smoker girls out and it rains on my parade during peak sightings hours.  It speaks volumes that I still managed 24 sightings even though I was leaving the grounds before 11:00.  In theory, I still have time to salvage the fair with Friday and Saturday coming, but in recent years, the younger crowd has gotten tired with the fair by the weekend and seeks out other venues, leaving a disproportionately older crowd with few smokers good enough to count.  I’m currently at 68 sightings for the three nights, which probably puts me on track to get to 100 but that’s no sure thing.  Here’s hoping that FCF magic from years past still delivers in 2015.


Friday Night

When Thursday ended early because of rain, I was glum about the likelihood that I may have missed my chance for a great sightings night.  Judging by the mediocrity that was Friday night, I fear I was right.  Now I will say that Friday night in 2015 was definitely better than the abysmal Friday night in 2014, but that’s a pretty low bar.  I scored 19 sightings with only a couple of truly memorable among them.

I arrived at the grounds at around 6:45 and definitely didn’t get a sighting as quickly after entering the gates as I did the previous night.  Rather than the two seconds it took me to get a sighting that night, I spent a good hour encircling the grounds in pursuit of my first sighting and finally found two gals hiding in the middle of the farm equipment having a cigarette.  I could tell from afar that one was obese and unattractive, but the other looked pretty nice. The closer I got, the more impressed I was upon noticing she was mid-to-late 20s with a pretty face and her dark blond hair (with some silly rainbow coloring in it) up in a ponytail.  I couldn’t linger for long as she was in such an inconvenient spot to stalk but was able to partake in a couple of drags during my slow walk past her.  Nothing overly memorable style-wise but it sure was nice to see an attractive young female smoking after an hour in the wilderness.  Thankfully, she delivered again–twice–later in the evening when I was in the grandstand for the concert by 90s country singer John Michael Montgomery.  She and the fat friend stood out in the smoking area towards the end of the concert and smoked two in a row.  It was nice to be able to get a full sighting from her and even better when she quickly fired up another cigarette after the first while standing in the smoking area.

Back to before the concert, I was walking towards the south side of the grounds which happens to be where the shuttle buses drop off fairgoers and I saw a group of four decently attractive 19-20-year-old gals approaching.  Two of them, one blond and one brunette, were smoking.  Nothing hugely consequential about them but it was exciting to watch them strut shamelessly into an increasingly densely populated part of the fairgrounds with cigarettes in hand.  Unfortunately, one of the other two girls in the group–a brunette in a tanktop and jean shorts–was the youngest-looking and most wholesome girl of the four and she wasn’t a smoker.  I would see her later in the night after the concert and she wasn’t smoking then either.

I went to the concert and got a few modest sightings in the smoking area.  An early 30s dark blond was putting on a solid show smoking while a teenage girl was singing the national anthem.  When the girl was done singing, the smoking lady applauded while still holding her cigarette between her fingers, a feat that’s always struck me as fairly impressive.  She and the guy I presumed was her husband went into the beer gardens and stood right on the other side of the fence for much of the show and both smoked two cigarettes each over the course of the concert.

Another decently attractive mid-to-late 20s blond was inside the grandstand and asked a cop where she could smoke a cigarette (I could tell because she was holding an unlit cigarette in hand), and the cop directed her to the smoking area where I joyfully observed.  Again, nothing Hall of Fame-worthy about her or her smoking style but it was nice to be in a position to just admire a young woman smoking.  She came out to smoke again later in the concert.

My favorite girl during the concert was a prim and proper mid-20s blond in a pink tanktop and jeans who left the show and came into the smoking area standing almost directly underneath me.  I got a nice show from her with nicely timed drags and cloudy exhales, but the sighting got a cool storyline a few drags in when a young guy I presumed to be her boyfriend or husband came out and stood right next to her holding a young son who was less than two years old.  The husband didn’t smoke but both he and the little guy had to stand and wait for mommy to finish filling her body with stinky carcinogens.  After every drag, she made sure to exhale to her right to avoid choking the men in her life.  I got to watch her smoke the entire cigarette before dropping the butt to the grass and re-entering the grandstand with the husband and son, undoubtedly reeking of fresh smoke to both the guys and whoever else had the misfortune of sitting next to her.

John Michael Montgomery’s concert was a mixed bag.  He had a lot of hits and sounded exactly like he did on the radio, but the majority of his songs were ballads so the concert was pretty low-energy and the average age of the crowd was far and away the highest of the four nights thus far.  So I knew when I left the concert that my odds weren’t great for getting a bevy of delicious mid-teen smoker sightings.  But I still got a couple of good finds, and none better than a familiar face from 2014.  I was walking into the midway when I spotted this beautiful 19ish dark brunette whose long mane of hair flowed all the way down her back.  She wore a flower-print top and a pair of dazzlingly tight white pants that framed her sensational ass perfectly.  I had seen this girl smoking twice in 2014, both times wearing jean shorts and I was always struck by how impressive her ass was.  And as luck would have it, she was just breaking out a cigarette and dangling it from her lips as I crossed paths with her and her two friends, neither of whom smoked.   The cigarette dangled there for a good 30 seconds before she got around to lighting it.  I followed directly behind her as her group vacated the midway and was able to get whacked in the face by three or four exhales.  She spotted me at one point so after that I hovered at a further distance, and in doing so I was able to see her face as she took additional drags followed by tight and cloudy exhales.  And in the moments she wasn’t in the act of smoking I couldn’t take my eyes off of that incredible ass in those tight white pants.  I figured it would be easy to lurk at a distance for the rest of the sighting but as so often happens, there was a detour when she passed the Godfather’s Pizza stand.  My sexpot brunette turned to the person inside the stand and asked “Is Conrad working tonight?”

Her group stayed put for a bit as she temporarily conversed with the person inside the stand and I had to maneuver to avoid being made enough.   After a minute or so, they pressed forward and I scrambled to catch up but thankfully was able to do so before she finished smoking.  She was down to her last few drags as she progressed into the heavily populated and narrow block of food vendors.  She took a final drag right in the center of it and then tossed the butt to the pavement and gingerly crushed it out.  I could tell from the green stripe on the cork filter that it was a Newport.   While this sighting didn’t have enough character or storyline to make any Hall of Fame lists, it was a great sighting from a beautiful girl with an awesome body and was better than either of the two awkwardly positioned sightings I was able to muster up last year.  I ran into her two more times on the grounds but unfortunately she wasn’t smoking for either of them.  Still holding out hope I see her on Saturday night and really hit one out of the park because this girl is certainly worthy of a year-end top-25 if I can score a memorable storyline.

The next hour wasn’t particularly productive although I went back into the midway and scored a few sightings of the late teen crowd, although in every case they were either tattooed or too chubby for my preference.  And the one instance where there was a brunette wielding a cigarette who seemed intriguing, she and her group migrated behind the rides in the pitch black en route to their car so I only got one passing glance at her and didn’t get to see any of her smoking.  The midway stayed open till nearly 11:30 tonight which was helpful in keeping the crowds at the fair longer than the previous nights, giving me two more nuggets of deliciousness to admire in the final 20 minutes of the night.

The first of the two came near the 4-H food stand where a bunch of teenagers gather late at night to line dance.  Usually none of these teens are smoking but sometimes people watching them are.  But tonight right on the edge of the dancers was a blond teen girl in a tanktop and jean shorts holding up two unlit cigarettes in the company of her male companions.  Hot damn I thought to myself as I positioned myself for a sighting.  And it didn’t take long to realize this teen blond was “Sarah” from Wednesday night and from several different encounters in 2014.  I had to tread lightly here as I knew Sarah was familiar with me based on all the other times I’d been eyeballing her, but strangely I  hadn’t been able to score a great sighting of her because of bad logistics.  I pretended to be watching the dancers on the bench where I sat and as Sarah and one of the guys sat on the bench across from me as she handed him one of her cigarettes, I thought I’d finally get my chance.  But nothing with Sarah goes as planned and after about a minute of sitting there and chatting to her friend in her preternaturally husky smoker’s voice, she and the guy got up to leave.  I didn’t dare follow with as many times as she’s already spotted me eyeballing her smoking, but I was at least able to see her light up as she progressed towards a heavily populated block of fairgoers.  A blast of smoke erupted from her mouth and nose as she walked away, cigarette in hand.  And then I lost her in the crowd and was unable to find her again for the rest of the night.  Sarah, Sarah, Sarah!  Why must you continue to be so elusive night after night, year after year?  Not sure there’s ever been a girl in FCF history who I’ve seen smoking so many times yet have never gotten a really good look at while she smokes.

Around 11:35 I’d score one final impressive girl for the evening as I migrated to the sparse south side of the grounds for one final pass.  A group of about six stood there with one tall, slender and attractive 18-19ish female in the mix decked out in a black tanktop and flattering white shorts with a lace pattern…and she was smoking.  She had long dark blond hair that was a little frizzy with a stud in her lip that I didn’t care for, but it didn’t take away much from her surprisingly beautiful face.  There was an easily accessible bench to watch the show and the girl delivered with a handful of solid drags and careless exhales that nailed a couple of her male friends in the face.  And after every drag came a lugie.  I think I paid enough attention to smoker girls 20 years ago to where I would have noticed if they were as chronic spitters as so many of today’s girls seem to be.  Pretty odd–and at least for me adorably so–that so many hot girls feel comfortable dropping lugies left and right while smoking.  This girl has been the most prolific spitter I’ve seen thus far in the 2015 fair season.  Her group was progressing into the main part of the fairgrounds and I followed hoping for a butt ID as she was near the end of her cigarette.  I didn’t get the ID but I got something arguably even better.  There was a line for the pizza stand and this girl and her group cut right through the middle of the line with my girl exhaling the final remnants of her cigarette directly into the line.  She dropped the cigarette right in the middle of the people standing in line, and at first I found that unbearably hot but it was tempered a bit when it became clear that the people in the line knew her and her group, and one guy made a point of exaggeratedly stepping on her discarded butt to crush it out.  I figured I’d make another pass and come back to see if I could ID that butt.  I couldn’t verify which was one hers but I believe it was another Newport butt.

And on my way out of the grounds I walked past the Greek food stand and who did I see standing in line but the same girl wielding yet another cigarette.  I saw her take one drag with her right hand while holding a bag of mini donuts in her left and was quite excited thinking I was about to get a smoking-while-eating sighting, but unfortunately she then handed the cigarette to a heavyset girl she was talking to and for the next couple of minutes the heavyset girl dominated the cigarette, making me believe she’s the one who lit up while my skinny blond just requested a single drag.  From there I was on my way out of the grounds and saw one more modestly attractive brunette finishing off a cigarette as she approached the gate, making her my the 19th and final sighting of Friday night.

My running total for the FCF thus far in 87 sightings, meaning I only need 13 sightings for Saturday to hit 100, which was my goal for the year as honestly I’m doing a little better than I suspected given the collapse in teen smoking that I suspected would drag down my numbers badly, but amongst this 87 there have been no shortage of “oh I guess she qualifies” kinds of girls who just barely make the cut.  The lack of compelling storylines is the biggest contributing factor in making this a less than memorable county fair thus far.  Hopefully Saturday night is great enough to restore this county fair as a classic but I’m not holding my breath.


Saturday Night

I needed 13 sightings on Saturday evening to meet my goal of getting 100 sightings at the 2015 local county fair….and I got exactly 13 (plus one more on a very brief trip to the grounds on Sunday afternoon).  Thirteen sightings in a five-hour night at the fair is pretty abysmal, but the good news is that most of those 13 sightings were memorable and/or impressive.  I got to the grounds around 6:30 and it hit me for the first time that I hadn’t heard one word this year about “smoke-free” nights.  Three years ago, I was petrified when I first heard of the county fair’s “smoke-free Saturday” gimmick.  And even though it didn’t end up being a major deal and there were multiple violations of the “rule”, it spawned a second “smoke-free night” in 2013.  Two years later, they appear to have lost interest in the concept, which is honestly quite odd to me.  Where in American history has a previously existent smoking ban been disregarded?   I’m concluding the best thing to do is not look a gift horse in the mouth and just continue to not give the incredible vanishing smoking ban any further thought and hope that the fairgrounds administrators don’t give it any further thought either.

Then again, part of the reason why there’s so little chatter about smoking at the county fair is obvious when exploring the grounds during those daytime hours and going an hour at a time without seeing anyone young and attractive smoking.  Finally around 7 tonight I saw a group of four 20-and-30-something gals smoking, most of them obese and unattractive.  There was one moderately cute one in the group who I counted as my first official sighting of the night.  After that came a young mommy on the midway.  Then came an extended detour when my luck finally ran out with relative and friend encounters.  For the past two days, I had been dodging bullets by avoiding relatives or merely having abbreviated conversations with them, but tonight friend Corey and his wife were in the grounds.  The plan was to meet him for the evening’s grandstand concert, but I hoped to hold off until as close to 8:30 start time as possible so I could have more time to explore the grounds.  Unfortunately, at around 7:40, Corey and his wife were eating and spotted me walking.  The next 45 minutes were squandered as I was conversing with them on a bench with a lousy vantage point for people watching.  As 8:30 approached I took control and seized my favorite spot in the grandstand overlooking the smoking area and beer gardens.  Usually Corey (and his wife) are cooperative in joining me at my favorite place to sit but there have been occasions where they’ve insisted on sitting closer.  Not tonight thankfully.

And while the smoking area was a bust (unfortunately along with the concert by country singer Joe Nichols who was much better when he was here before in 2011), the beer gardens produced three pretty strong sightings, albeit behind the fence with substandard lighting and too distant of a vantage point as is the usual problem inside the beer gardens.  I wasn’t gonna get any better positioning than I got for the first smoker gal inside the beer gardens though.  This hot blond was leaning against the shed by herself with a beer and a cigarette.  It was hard to tell how old she was by her face (I’m guessing early 30s) because her slightly weathered face didn’t at all match the 21-year-old’s body she was sporting below the neck.  That hot body was draped in a brown tanktop and outstanding white shorts, the latter being my favorite ensemble to see a hot girl wearing outside of leather.  I got to watch 6-7 drags as she stood there smoking, wishing I could get a closer look at her to get to the bottom of whether she was closer to the 21 her body suggested or the 33 that her still attractive but slightly weathered face looked.  I didn’t get that look though as after her cigarette she went to a bench and sat with several other nonsmoking female friends who looked like they were in the late 20s/early 30s age range that I assumed she was.  About a half hour later, I caught her smoking another cigarette, although she was sitting there at the bench with her back to me and I didn’t see much smoking.  Like so many FCF sightings this year, potential greatness didn’t fully materialize because of lackluster logistics.

Another potential classic was playing out only moments after my first sighting of blondie in the white shorts, and only about 10 feet away inside the beer gardens.  A threesome that I suspect included a middle-aged mother and two 20-something daughters included only one smoker….and that smoker just happened to be the long-haired brunette I presumed to be the youngest daughter.  It isn’t very often that the youngest and the only attractive female in a multigenerational group happens to be the only smoker, so my eyes lit up the instant I saw this dynamic.  But they lit up even brighter when I looked at just how wholesome and hot this tall early 20s brunette was, decked out in a flattering hot pink blouse and black shorts.  Had she not been in the beer gardens, I probably wouldn’t have even guessed she was 21 as she had a very youthful and vibrant face.  She would easily have been the least likely of this group of three that I would have expected to smoke, yet there she was holding a beer bottle in one hand and a cigarette in the other, smoking very nicely and indicating she probably did this more frequently than merely when she was drinking.  She also looked very familiar, so I’m guessing I had seen this girl at the fair in the past, although probably never smoking as I would have remembered if I had seen a girl like this smoking before!  All too quickly, she killed the mostly smoked cigarette by dropping it into her empty beer bottle, but my eyes never drifted far from this girl or the other two gals in her party for the rest of the show, and her hot pink blouse made that easy even after dark.  About halfway through the concert, my wish was fulfilled as the hot daughter once again became the only member of her familial party to light up a cigarette.  That’s the good news, but as is the case in nearly every sightings report I’ve written for the 2015 county fair, there’s some bad news.  In this case, mom was standing directly in front of her for the duration of the second cigarette.  All I ever got to see was the daughter’s cigarette hand approaching her mouth and just a little bit of exhaled smoke in the dark as mom’s ugly face was in the way for everything else.  Grrr!  Again I hoped against hope I would see her in the grounds after the show but I never did.  I saw enough of her to be very impressed, but certainly not at all enough to live up to her potential.

The third big sighting from inside the beer gardens also suffered from a lousy vantage point.  I spotted a young couple inside a cluster just across the beer gardens fence, with the doofus of a guy wearing a sideways baseball cap in the company of a petite blond hottie with a smokin’ hot body.  Both had smoldering cigarettes.  The spot where they stood was quite dark and it was hard to see much of the show or even how pretty she was or what specifically she was wearing.  But I was close enough to see her take several drags from her cigarette, the cherry glowing bright red as she took her drags while kissing the boyfriend and getting snuggled by his much larger body.  Now I didn’t see this girl smoking again, but thankfully I did see her in the grounds after the concert.  While she was pretty, she wasn’t a perfect 10 knockout as I thought she had the potential to be seeing her from afar, and instead of the pale blue jean shorts I thought she was wearing, she was actually wearing a tan miniskirt.  That’s how much the darkness in the part of the beer gardens they were standing messed with my head.

The disappointing and surprisingly lethargic Joe Nichols concert ended and I was crossing my fingers that Corey and his wife, who had been in the fairgrounds since 8 a.m., would want to go.  And they did….after I damn near nudged them to leave, and at 1o p.m. the remaining two hours of the evening were mine to hopefully wrap up the 2015 local county fair in style.  And it didn’t take long after parting ways with them before I spotted an intriguing group on the edge of the midway.  A late 30s couple that included a smoking wife who stood there with a long-haired blond who from the back looked stunning, along with a girl who looked about eight years old.  The only one smoking was the late 30s woman who was unattractive, but what was that blond digging for in her purse?  She had her back to me so I had to change positions to see if she was as good looking as I hoped and to see if she was indeed extracting a cigarette from her purse.  The answer to both was yes!  It was fascinating that this gorgeous blond, who looked late 20s but may have been older given that I presumed the young girl next to her was hers, was conversing this very white trash-looking older couple.  This is a small town so there are any number of possible connections they could have besides their love of ingesting tobacco smoke into their lungs, but the contrast couldn’t have been wider looking at this group.  I was able to stand there, however awkwardly, watching her smoke most of her cigarette.  There was nothing distinctive about her style but the drags and exhales were both acceptable and very satisfying coming from such a pretty face.  I was very curious watching this what kind of work this gal did as a face this pretty in a town like this could be responsible for any number of high-profile jobs, and I’d love to know under whose employ this attractive blond smoker was.  The only downside to her presentation was that she was wearing these ridiculous-looking and wildly unsexy pajama-style pants that had absolutely zero sex appeal.  She finished her cigarette and dropped the cork filter butt to the pavement.  Much as I wanted to walk over and ID it, she and the older couple NEVER moved.  I bet they were in the same general area chatting for over an hour, presumably while the unattractive couple’s kids were on midway rides.  I did get several more opportunities to admire her beautiful face in passing but never did see her smoke another cigarette.

My next solid sighting started on the main drag and drifted into the midway.  Amidst this cluster of mostly unattractive young people stood an adorable 18ish dark blond wearing a gray tanktop and medium-blue jeans.  She looked a little more alternative than I’d prefer but she had a beautiful face, and just happened to be lighting a cigarette.  I wasn’t able to see much as these group huddle settings are just awful to try to score a sighting inside, but then I began to notice that she and the blond guy who I suspected was her nonsmoking boyfriend were preparing to leave the group and enter the midway.  Suddenly I had a sighting in motion that I could follow and watch, and I did just that.  No major storylines associated with her smoking performance but considering I saw several instances of guys smoking in the company of girls who were not in the past week, it sure was nice seeing the girl being the smoker exposing her nonsmoking boyfriend, along with me walking behind her, to her respiratory exhaust.  The couple walked right into the huge crowds in the back of the midway, with the girl exhaling cigarette smoke shamelessly after every drag.  Finally she finished the cigarette and tossed it to the grass before getting in line for midway tickets.  I was able to walk right up and located the cork filter butt but couldn’t identify it beyond assuming by its markings that it was a Marlboro Red.  And towards the very end of the night, I saw the same couple, this time in the presence of another girl, where my tanktopped dark blond was lighting up another cigarette, and being the only one of the three to smoke once again.  I was in pursuit of someone else and couldn’t stick around but she was another girl on Saturday night who kept the night lively despite a relatively low sightings count.

But the event sighting of the night came less than a minute later as I walked away from the previous sighting.  Still in the midway, I saw a lively young group across the grass on the other side of the midway and immediately made out a freshly lit cigarette between the fingers of an attractive young brunette.  Right away, I sensed something special about that brunette and cut across the grass to get a closer look.  My instinct was right as I spotted a gorgeous long-haired dark brunette whose soft features radiated beauty.  Never would have I suspected a girl like this would smoke in 2015.  She gave off an aura vaguely similar to my 2013 Pall Mall princess and for a moment I thought maybe it was her, but as I got a closer look I could tell it wasn’t.  She had a nice body too, with a blue top and black shorts that beautifully framed her ass.  The rest of her group was just elevator music once I laid eyes on her and she was the kind of girl who just dominated the visuals of her group or any group, but there was a blond guy who appeared to be her boyfriend along with another girl and two guys.  One of the guys was smoking from the get-go and as my group began to move, I unfortunately noticed my brunette sharing her cigarette with the boyfriend, even though he seemed to get far less of it than her.  After a promising start, the sighting kind of sputtered to an anticlimactic close as the group drifted towards the midway rides and my brunette and her boyfriend were passing the cigarette back and forth.  And in the darkness in line for one of the rides, I noticed neither one was holding the cigarette as they must have disposed of it.  I left the scene disappointed, but just had a feeling I’d be seeing more from this girl and returned to the midway only a few minutes later.  And my instinct was right…

No more than 10 minutes later, the group had gotten off the Zipper in the midway and appeared to be heading out.  The one guy in the group already had a cigarette going and I had a strong feeling my brunette was gonna get one of her own soon.  The boyfriend for some reason seemed to be the one in possession of the cigarettes and was opening up the pack, which I could tell from the backlighting was some variation of Marlboro.  I was crossing my fingers she’d get one of her own and sure enough the boyfriend produced two cigarettes.  After a brief and rather adorable kiss, she placed the cigarette in her mouth and he lit her up just as the group was heading for the midway exit.  What a beautiful girl she was, proudly brandishing that long just-lit cigarette in her hand without a hint of inhibition, her beaming smile both contagious and infectious as she bantered joyfully with her friends.  I was so jealous of her boyfriend watching her ass wiggle forward in those black shorts and even more so when she took her glorious and timely drags from her cigarette.  They always lasted a good five seconds and she usually tilted her head skyward to release a cloudy exhale.  The skyward exhale was a wonderful visual but the downside was that they were always too high in the air for me to smell the fragrant aroma of the smoke that just came out of her black lungs.  I was content to follow this sighting till its conclusion but an annoying disruption came when they stumbled upon another mixed-gender group of early 20s couples and stopped to chat.  There was another female smoker in this group but she was wallpaper compared to my main event brunette, and I had to scramble to find a vantage point at the seating of a food stand and managed to find a decent one to observe two of her drags upclose, both of which were gorgeous five-second ingestions of smoke where the cherry of her cigarette glowed bright and the pleasure on her face was abundantly clear before tilting her head skyward to release those exhales.  What a beauty!  And after about two minutes of this, her group was in motion southbound again and I pursued, albeit from more of a distance this time in hopes of not looking too familiar.   After three final drags she dropped the cigarette to the pavement without bothering to crush it out.  I gleefully approached that smoldering all-white butt to ID it as a Marlboro Light, my first ML sighting of the 2015 fair season despite its impressive presence at Summerfest three weeks ago.  Considering how few and far between blockbuster sightings where the logistics worked out were at this year’s county fair, I was pretty excited to score one more in the final hour or so on the final night of this year’s fair.

And it was a good thing I hit the jackpot with my wholesome brunette beauty because a good half hour passed before I got anything else, and when I did I spotted a teen blond with a cigarette between her fingers at the edge of the midway and got all excited….until I realized once again it was Sarah!  Now there’s certainly nothing wrong with Sarah, but at this point I figured she was wise to me and I knew by now that any sighting that involved Sarah had no chance of a happy ending after five prior attempts to watch her smoke were foiled.  Nonetheless I gave it the old college try, walking clever little circles in her general area in hopes of seeing more from her, spotting her in her white tanktop and dark blue skinny jeans she was donning tonight but having just missed seeing an exhale pass her lips as the exhale was now going airborne and contaminating several square feet of airspace several feet above her head!   I made one more attempt to double back but by the time I did I saw Sarah running from the group where she was standing to another nearby group with a camera phone in her but no cigarette.  Apparently she had just finished it.  I just can’t win with this girl!  She is the roadrunner to my Wiley Coyote!  About 10 minutes later I saw her leaving the grounds with a guy friend and followed from a distance hoping to see her light up one more time.  That never happened but I finally got to admire her body from afar and was struck how muscular she looked in that white tanktop.  I know I said this about Sarah last year but it bears repeating in 2015….wait till next year Sarah and you’re mine, providing me an upclose and personal sighting worthy of you!

The evening had one final highlight, er infuriating trainwreck, that took place at almost the exact same location that Sarah had just vacated.  It was about 11:40 now, the midway had long ago gone lights out, and the population on the grounds was becoming very thin.  I saw a modestly attractive 18ish redhead in a huddle with a cigarette and was pleased to at least be getting another number to add to my total, but the sighting took an abrupt turn one second later when the cigarette was handed to a sexpot 18ish blond in a white tanktop and incredibly tight jean shorts.  There were two girls that night who caught my eye for having really short jean shorts and wearing them outrageously well…and this girl was one of them.  And she was a beauty too, not in the caliber of my brunette Marlboro Lights girl, but the face was definitely worthy of the body that filled out those shorts and that tanktop.  Jackpot! I thought to myself and I tried to position myself for a sighting and missed all but the tail end of her first drag….and what would be her only drag.  From there one of the guys in her group started horsing around with her, and she ended up leaping into his arms.  He held her around his waist as she wrapped her legs around him and he began playfully running with her hanging on tight.  At least she was hanging on to him tight because she sure wasn’t hanging onto the cigarette, which after about 30 seconds of this fell out of her hand and hit the pavement.  All I could do at this point was ID the smoldering butt as I walked past as a Newport, heartbroken that I couldn’t see any details of what would be the sexiest smoker girl of the night or perhaps the entire 2015 FCF.  I’d see her and a couple of her friends in the remaining 15 minutes or so before I left just before midnight, but never would she or any of them smoke again.

And so it went.  I scored a couple other modest sightings before leaving at around 11:50, reaching exactly 100 sightings for the county fair, at least until I made my annual 20-minute final walk around the grounds on Sunday afternoon and was lucky enough to find one mid-20s redhead in gray leggings sharing a cigarette with her boyfriend and catapulting me to 101 sightings, down from 110 last year, and well below the 144 I scored in the flukish year of 2010 or the 125 I got in 2011.  It’s hard to really score this year’s county fair.  In terms of numbers and the proportion of blockbuster or epic sightings, it was the weakest FCF since 2006, and that was back when the county fair had an entirely different concert schedule and I was on the grounds for only about half as much time as I have been in recent years.  But it’s not as obvious that smoking is in complete collapse in my home county.  While there’s no question it’s down from five years ago, I still had a number of impressive finds….I just had bad luck with logistics in being able to pull off a memorable sighting with them full of rich details that easily translate to a blog-worthy Hall of Fame sighting.  There was always a boyfriend standing in the way or bad lighting or no place to credibly observe a sighting play out.  Far too often, something just went wrong, and thinking back I rarely had such rotten luck in previous FCFs.  When there was a first-rate sighting playing out, I was able to make it work for me someway, somehow and picked up details that this year I just wasn’t able to.  Was it really bad luck this year or just really good luck in prior years?

And for what it’s worth, none of my five nights were complete disasters as both Friday and Saturday nights were last year, albeit following great Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights last year.  Every night this year produced at least a couple of memorable sightings and I don’t walk away in paranoia about the death of smoking heading into the Iowa State Fair in a few days.  And I definitely am not troubled by the very low numbers of e-cigarettes I witnessed, even amongst the demographic that is allegedly hopelessly enraptured by them.  I move forward to the next phase of the 2015 fair season–next weekend’s Iowa State Fair–not overflowing with confidence but mindful that I will have probably have more bad days than I used to of fairgrounds fetishing.  I mentioned before how the future of fetishing looks like it will require more and more work for fewer and fewer sightings.  I’m willing to do my part and hope that even with fewer sightings I can still snare that giant marlin once in a while.

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Megan’s Revenge

It was a dreary Monday morning in Kokomo, Indiana, as Megan Neary stood waiting for her bus to school with a light but steady rain bearing down on her and dousing her shoulder-length light brown hair into mangly strands as if she just got out of the shower without using a towel on her hair.  Her utilitarian black winter jacket and medium-blue jeans were becoming wet as well as the rain trickled off her shoulders and rolled down her person, an unglamorous display camouflaging an otherwise modestly attractive girl.  Most of the others at the bus stop were staying dry, either standing or sitting in the enclosed sanctuary with a plastic roof overhead.  Not Megan though.  As comfortable as the others looked inside out of the rain, she was more than happy to spare that dry comfort for the ability to smoke a cigarette.  She savored every drag from that cigarette more than usual, letting the pleasure of the smoke hitting her lungs distract her from the reality of standing in a cold mid-February rain….and it was working.  She knew there were others waiting for the bus who were shooting daggers at her for smoking, particularly because of how young she visibly was, but she didn’t care.  She was almost at the point where she no longer cared what people thought of her…..almost!   She was reminded that there were certain people still capable of getting under her skin as a familiar red BMW pulled up to a stoplight directly in front of her.   Despite the rain coming down, she was unsurprised when the BMW’s passenger window came down with a familiar taunting female face and voice quickly emerging…..

“Are you really so stupid that you won’t even step in out of the rain?!” said the teenage girl in the car with a grating and demeaning voice that had been like fingernails on a chalkboard to Megan for more than three years now.

But from deeper inside the car came a male voice that was also familiar to Megan for all the wrong reasons.  The male driver, similar in age and very close in appearance to the female passenger, taunted Megan with a bad-faith offer……”Maybe you’d like a ride.”

“Oh yeah, where are my manners.  Nobody should have to stand in the rain waiting to go to school.  Hop on in the backseat, Megan”, sneered the female passenger again in a way Megan wasn’t buying at all.

Megan stood there silently, avoiding eye contact and doing her best to tune out the continued heckles that were so cruel that Megan correctly sensed that even her fellow travelers at the bus stop who were annoyed by her smoking two minutes earlier were suddenly sympathetic towards her.  Megan could see out of the corner of her eye that the light had turned green and felt relieved that the verbal assault was about to end…for now anyway.  The female passenger who had for the last 30 seconds been taunting with “C’mon, Megan.  Hop on in.  We’re serious!” suddenly sneered “Fine then….we’d never let a loser like you in our car anyway even if you didn’t smell like a fucking ashtray” before the driver pressed forward down the street.

The 5’7″ Megan felt about two inches tall standing there, having been humiliated publicly for the umptieth time by the Forbes twins, Brandon and Lisa.  She had the misfortune of making their acquaintance more than three years earlier when she started at her new high school.  The Forbes family was royalty in town, with their father being a private equity baron who had major dealings in Kokomo and other cities all over the Midwest in the past quarter century.  The family lived in the toniest neighborhood in town and while Megan didn’t come close to sharing that upscale upbringing, the working-class neighborhood where her caretaker aunt lived was on the outer edges of the school district where the Forbes family and Kokomo’s other silver spoon offspring studied at the nearby high school.  She didn’t feel overly connected to most in her high school and pretty much suffered through her days en route to the diploma at the end of the tunnel.  But the only people she genuinely despised were the Forbes twins, who couldn’t have more perfectly fit the stereotype of spoiled rich kid assholes or the stereotype of schoolyard bullies who began their reign of terror by tripping her in the hallway in the 9th grade and are completing it with stunts like she just endured this morning in the second half of her senior year.  If she was forced to choose which of the two was worse between Brandon and Lisa, she honestly wouldn’t know who she’d select.  She hated them both to her core, and she hated them even more because she was the second generation in the Neary family to be shit on by the Forbes family, and she was pretty certain that neither Brandon nor Lisa even knew the history….

Ten years earlier, her dad worked at an auto parts supplier in town and endured a serious injury on the job in the interim period after a buyout at the hands of Arthur Forbes’ private equity business.  Forbes was able to take advantage of a loophole due to the ongoing transfer of ownership that denied her father medical care or any chance of a settlement.  With no way to pay for the treatment he desperately needed, Megan’s father died a year later when she was only eight years old.  Her mother fought years of legal battles trying to secure some kind of settlement from Forbes for the loss of her husband, but lost every battle….and eventually her own sanity.  For five years now, Megan’s beloved mother was institutionalized, unfit to care for her own daughter and relinquishing custody to her alcoholic sister Beverly.

Megan could tolerate her aunt in small doses and the feeling was mutual, and it was clear right away when Megan moved in that beyond being supplied with a roof over her head, Megan was on her own and would have to build her own future from a very unsteady ground floor.  The result was Megan was forced to ride the bus to and from a high school every day where almost everyone else her age was driving to school in a car their rich parents bought for them.  And more consequentially, it also meant logging in as many hours as she could working at a fast-food restaurant after school most days to pay for whatever future she could possibly stitch together, and then doing her homework on the dark bus ride home.  It was a bleak way to spend her senior year, but it had to be done, and the only time Megan had to feel sorry for herself was when the demonic twin children of the man she blamed for her father’s death twisted the knife by publicly humiliating her.

Megan finished her cigarette and crushed it out beneath her shoe while still standing in the rain.  The continued pleasure was such that she desperately wanted to squeeze one more cigarette in before the bus arrived, but when she looked to her left she could see the bus approaching and knew she didn’t have time for another one.  She wished she could have savored the final drag from that last cigarette a little longer….because it would be quite a while before she’d have the opportunity to enjoy another one.


Ten days passed as February turned to March.  It was fast approaching 4:00 on a Thursday afternoon and Megan stood in the parking lot near the dumpster at the Taco Bell where she’s worked for the last year and a half, smoking a cigarette with her college-age friend and co-worker Beth in the final moments before her six-hour shift began.  Megan and Beth were randomly chatting and Megan was distracted to the point that she didn’t even notice the familiar-looking red BMW pull into the lot approaching the nearby drive-thru until the exact second the driver put his power window down and they made eye contact.  After a couple of moments of eye contact and getting over their mutual surprise to see each other at this fast food parking lot, Brandon Forbes quickly reverted to business as usual, letting loose a boisterous and obnoxious laugh that was clearly meant to be at Megan’s expense while dismissively looking her up and down and checking out her fast food uniform.

“It’s official.  They will hire absolutely anybody at this place, won’t they”, Brandon sneered before quickly looking at Lisa in the passenger seat and rhetorically asking, “Are you sure you still want to order food here?”

In a rare moment of moxie, Megan fired back with the only backtalk arrow in her quiver.  “Aren’t you two way too good to eat at Taco Bell no matter who was waiting on you?”

Brandon and Lisa again laughed dismissively and obnoxiously and Brandon fired back with “You better watch it, bitch, or I’ll tell your boss and you’ll be fired from the only job you’ll ever be qualified for your entire life.  You should get fired just for how much you stink anyway!”

Lisa piled on from the passenger seat, adding “We come to Taco Bell to pick up an occasional chalupa after school.  You come to Taco Bell to make them for us for the rest of your pathetic life.”

Beth stood next to Megan absolutely shocked at what she was witnessing, never seeing anyone their age showing this kind of disrespect to someone.  As much as Beth wanted to give them a piece of their mind, she didn’t want to risk her job either with what were obviously some genuinely miserable people who wouldn’t hesitate to complain to her manager.

Brandon noticed cars were forming a line behind him at the drive-thru and decided it was time to place his order.  It took a few seconds and then he was pulling up to the window, with Lisa getting one more dig in at Megan’s expense shouting “Try not to get your filthy ashes all over everybody’s food!”

Megan’s demeanor was a combination of meek defeat and acute humiliation as she turned to the still-shellshocked Beth, taking a drag from her two-thirds smoked cigarette and shruggingly saying “See what I gotta put up with at Asshole High?”

“I had no idea!” Beth said, shaking her head with a look of pity in her eyes for Megan, who she already felt sorry for knowing how challenged her childhood was.  Beth was taking the final drag from her cigarette before a late 20s Hispanic woman came busting out the back door with passion in her eyes approaching them in her work smock with the name tag “Lupe–Assistant Manager” pinned to her apron.

At first Megan and Beth thought they might be late for their 4:00 start time but looked at their phones to see it was still 3:57 as Lupe looked at Beth who was in the final drag of her cigarette, asking in her thick Latin accent, “Would you mind if I had a word with Megan alone?”

“No problem”, Beth said crushing out her cigarette and heading inside, knowing Lupe was gonna have words with Megan, who she knew she was close with, about the verbal assault she either witnessed or overheard.   “How do you know those little pricks??!?!?” Lupe asked removing a pack of Newports from her smock and lighting one up, gesturing for Megan to smoke another of her Marlboro Reds.

“I’ve had the misfortune of going to school with them since 9th grade,” Megan responded, quickly changing the subject having picked up on Lupe’s familiarity with them based on the question.   “You know them too?”

Lupe made a dramatic gesture with her eyes in tandem with an exaggerated exhale of cigarette smoke before responding in her thick accent that Megan had finally mastered interpreting.  “For three years now, I’ve been doing housekeeping at the Forbes place once a week.  Those kids are absolute monsters….and the parents are no better.”

Megan’s eyes bulged wide open.  “You’ve been housekeeping for the Forbes family?!?!”  she asked half-surprised, although she was seldom surprised by any of Lupe’s oddball experiences at this point.  She was basically the Mexican-American female version of Forrest Gump, stumbling into one iconic situation after another and always wowing her Taco Bell co-workers with these stories which were almost too crazy NOT to be true.

Lupe flashed a knowing smile to her favorite co-worker before formally responding “Oh you know the jetset circles I run in!  Seriously though,” Lupe continued, “I think those kids are as big of brats as they are just as their way of dealing with the parents’ drama!   Mom has at least three boyfriends she hits on a near-nightly basis and every time I’m cleaning in Dad’s office, he’s watching some webcam sluts!”

Megan stood there dragging hard from her cigarette, listening to Lupe’s story but with a glimmer of light flashing in her usually defeated eyes that Lupe had never really seen before.  Lupe continued to share details even though it was clear Megan’s mind was starting to drift.  She squinted her eyes and asked “What’s going on with you?”

Taking another intense drag from her cigarette, a devious smile emerged on Megan’s face before she responded, “The very beginning of a plan.”

Lupe seemed taken aback by the unusual comeback, asking through a confused wince “What kind of plan?”

“The kind of plan that’s gonna require your help,” Megan responded, a raging fire in her eyes.

Lupe was intrigued and a little bit scared seeing this side of her friend she hadn’t seen before, answering several of Megan’s questions in the next couple of minutes while they finished their cigarettes.  Megan was putting Lupe at considerable risk by involving her in the plan she had in mind, given the high-roller crowd she was pitting her up against and given Lupe’s immigration status.  Megan didn’t know the extent of Lupe’s back story and never explored it closely figuring it was none of her business, but Lupe had hinted before that she came to America illegally 10 years ago and was operating with a fake ID.  Megan had plenty of time to consider how much at risk she wanted to put herself and Lupe, but two things were clear.  First, she was never gonna get a more perfect opportunity to get revenge on the people who destroyed her family and her childhood.  And second, she needed Lupe’s car and her access to the Forbes family home to pull off what she had in mind.


It was 10:35 that Thursday evening when Megan got off the bus after her work shift.  She immediately pulled her pack of Marlboro Reds out of her purse and lit one up after exiting the bus, walking the final three blocks to her aunt’s place.  This neighborhood is a tad sketchy and she’s always sure to stay aware of possible danger lurking, especially this time of night, but has never encountered any trouble.  And tonight in particular, her mind was otherwise occupied, floating a buffet of scenarios through her mind and trying to figure out which one made the most sense and would be the easiest to implement.

She was smoking faster than usual and lit up a second one in the approach to her aunt’s place.  She walked inside with cigarette in hand, never concerned of facing any consequences for smoking given that her aunt was a smoker herself and shrugged off Megan’s habit right after she started it a year and a half earlier.  Aunt Beverly was passed out on the couch again, as usual with a two-thirds empty wine bottle sitting on the coffee table in front of her.  Usually Megan did a slow burn coming home to witness this near-nightly routine, but tonight she was too preoccupied on the plan she was devising to escape having to put up with this routine much longer.

Megan walked into the bathroom and turned the light on, looking at herself carefully in the mirror as she removed her work uniform and stripped down to her bra and panties.  For most of her life, her self-esteem had been zero.  She never really sought to attain beauty or be thought of as “hot” by guys but over the past few months she noticed far more guys were looking at her.  She first picked up on it the prior summer when she went with friends to the city pool a few times and noticed guys were looking over their shoulder to check her out.  It had scarcely occurred to her that she could be a sex symbol and she hadn’t really given it much further thought….until tonight.

And looking at herself in the mirror, she found herself admiring her perky young breasts, her mostly flat stomach, her smooth, cellulite-free legs, and even her face.  The pimply mid-teen 9th grader who was clinging to baby fat and was about as shy and insecure as could be three years earlier made for such an easy target when she moved to this new school district, but looking at herself right now, she determined her insecurity about her appearance was now more or less a legacy of the Megan of the past.  She placed her half-smoked cigarette in her mouth and let it dangle, admiring the sexy badass image she evoked standing there half-naked.   It was only now that she was 100% confident in herself that she was capable of pulling off the nasty plan she had in mind for the Forbes family.  She puckered up her lips around the filter of her Marlboro Red, firming it up in her mouth as she dragged and then let the cigarette so limp as the smoke flowed from her lips and nose followed by a sinister smile.  The Megan that everybody knew was about to be reborn.


Two weeks later, Megan sat in Lupe’s car a half block outside the Forbes home, slouching in her seat so as not to be noticed, smoking a cigarette but being sure to direct her exhales downward so as not to arouse any suspicion from a neighbor in this very upscale neighborhood who may happen to be peeking out the window.  Megan made up the excuse of a doctor’s appointment to get out early from school and borrowed Lupe’s car.  In her most recent housecleaning job, Lupe got her hands on some personal information of both Mr. and Mrs. Forbes that Megan needed for her revenge plot, and was now in the process of utilizing that information.  She had been here a half hour now and she was hoping Lupe’s information that “Judith Forbes always goes to see ‘Tom’ every Wednesday afternoon at 1 while their spouses are away” and, finally, Judith was exiting her home and climbing into her Audi to make an early afternoon departure.  Megan didn’t want to follow too closely but also didn’t want to get too far behind because she needed to be there when Judith arrived at Tom’s place.  She lit up another cigarette as she pressed forward, nervous as hell about what the next hour would bring.  There was no turning back now and the riskiest part of Megan’s plan was about to unfold.

As Megan followed, she pondered how the timeline of her approaching 18th birthday was pretty perfect.  She was still a “child” while committing her current crime and thus won’t have arrests on her adult record if she gets caught today but in a week she’d be 18 and legally old enough to engage in the next phase of her plot.  After about five minutes of driving through the city’s more upscale streets, she followed Judith right up to the driveway of the man she was cheating on her husband with.   She could tell Judith was nervous getting out of her car and that made Megan’s amateur detective work that much riskier.  But luck was on Megan’s side as a parking space was open on the curb right in front of Tom’s house.  She parked and readied the high-priced camera she borrowed from Lupe, whose husband is a professional photographer, and zoomed in as Judith approached the waiting Tom on Tom’s front porch.  They embraced and then kissed, and Megan managed to pull off a half dozen incriminating shots, including the one where Tom led Megan by her hand into his front door.  Megan was relieved and excited to have pulled this off as so many things could have gone wrong.  She lit up another cigarette to celebrate, took a couple of satisfied drags, and then drove off.  Step one accomplished….but still a mile to go….

The hard part was over but Megan still had some detective work to do that Friday night, when she took the night off work to bust Judith on film during her next breach of her marriage vows.  Lupe told Megan that Judith met another guy at a hotel on Friday evenings for more extramarital hanky-panky, and Megan figured it would be icing on the cake to get one more picture of Judith cheating on her husband with another guy only two days later.  Megan got a plum parking spot near the entrance and waited more than hour in Lupe’s car, filling it once again with cigarette smoke as Megan’s escalating flurry of nervous situations were quickly turning her into a chainsmoker.  Judith showed up around 6:30 and approached a man waiting in the entryway for her arrival.  It was once again a breeze for Megan to zoom in the camera just as Lupe’s husband showed her how to do and snap a couple of pics of Judith and her latest Johnny-come-lately kissing and then going inside the hotel.  She now had two smoking guns and was less than 24 hours away from turning the Forbes’ world upside down.

Megan drove on out to Lupe’s place and had her husband Bruce develop the film and produce multiple prints.  Bruce was impressed at how well rookie photographer Megan’s photos turned out after being skeptical she’d be able to produce sufficiently incriminating photos.  Megan printed out a letter reading “Dear Arthur Forbes:  Your wife is sleeping with multiple men on a regular basis as these photos prove.  Just thought you’d like to know.  A friend”.  Lupe assured Megan that Arthur Forbes was clueless about Judith’s affair and that with their relationship already on the rocks and Arthur’s ego almost cartoonishly fragile, serious repercussions would ensue quickly after Arthur opened up this manila envelope which Megan sent to Arthur’s office at his business.  She rode the bus home and dropped the envelope into a mailbox a few blocks from her aunt’s house.  She then lit a Marlboro Red and practically skipped home through clouds of her own exhaled cigarette smoke, thrilled with what she’d already accomplished.  Phase 1 of her plan was complete, and Arthur and  Judith Forbes were likely to have a very bad day come Monday.


It killed Megan all day Monday and into Tuesday wondering how the fallout of her detective work was playing out, and never had she anticipated a night working at Taco Bell so eagerly as she did Tuesday, where she would learn from Lupe what her Tuesday morning housecleaning session at the Forbes home yielded.   After school, she got off at the bus stop nearest Taco Bell and practically sprinted.  Before she even got there, she saw Lupe out back smoking a cigarette and grinning ear to ear, so she knew the news was good.  Lupe stood there playing coy, forcing a breathless Megan to ask the question as she lit up a cigarette of her own.

“Well??” Megan inquired.

“Well……someone got kicked out of the Forbes home last night,” Lupe responded making colorful gestures with her eyebrows.  “Congratulations girl!”

“Yes!” Megan exclaimed with the enthusiasm of an elementary girl who’d just been partnered with her crush for square dance classes in phys. ed.

“Happy birthday a day early”, Lupe added.

“So you got the password right?” Megan inquired to make double sure she had everything she needed for tomorrow night.

“LegNAssMan66 just as I wrote it last week,” Lupe reminded.

Megan cringed and grinned at the same time.  “Charming.”

“Think you’re ready for this?”

“Not sure but I’m definitely becoming a woman on my 18th birthday!” Megan said before taking a big drag from her cigarette, wondering if she would get any enjoyment or only disgust with what she would be doing on the night of her birthday in a little more than 24 hours.


Megan was usually drowsy and beaten down after a long day at work and school but the following evening at the end of her 18th birthday, she was filled with a nervous excitement and sprung out of the bus with a flourish before making the walk back to her aunt’s place in record time.  Her aunt was passed out on the couch again, three and a half sheets to the wind with her kids all fast asleep in their bedrooms, and ordinarily she’d have been depressed and angry that nobody in the home acknowledged or even remembered that this was her birthday.  She had other priorities tonight though and went right to her bedroom and closed the door.  She climbed on the bed and took out her laptop, logging onto the adult website Lupe had found on Arthur Forbes’ web history.

She had set up her new account the previous night and was authorized to use it tonight.  She scanned the dozens of names of users presently on the site until she found “LegsNAssMan66”.   After finding the site, Megan stripped down to her bra and panties, exhaling nervously and then sent a private request to the profile she just found.  She was prepared for any scenario–that he might ignore it at first, that he might be away from his computer, that it may require a few nights of sending him requests before he’d take the bait–but it was her lucky night because only about 30 seconds after she sent the request, she got a notification that he checked out her profile, and about 30 seconds after that she got a response from LegsNAssMan66.  The big fish himself took the bait right away.  Now came the slow process of reeling him in.

“Hey sexy. Love the profile”, came the instant message from Arthur.

“Thanks hun!” Megan responded.  “I saw you were from right here in Kokomo and thought it must be fate haha.”

“Lol yeah I think you’re the first girl from Kokomo I’ve run into on here.”

“Yeah I’m new here.  It’s my 18th birthday and I just set up my account.  Figured it’d be a good way to get some money.”

“Happy birthday, sweetie!”

“Thanks. :)”

“Do anything fun for your birthday?”

“Not really but hoping to have some fun here tonight with you.  You’re an ass and legs man and I like to think I’m pretty well endowed in those areas haha”

“Lol oh I’m sure you are.  Ready for me to check you out and see for sure?”

“I’m ready. :)”

Megan always wondered what it would be like to talk to the man she blamed for ruining her life.  Particularly given the context, she felt a little dirty about it, but given that he was falling into the trap she had set so easily so far, she was more than willing to keep the racket up and do whatever she had to do to seal this deal.  Right now, that included turning on the webcam on her computer and letting the man she despised most in the world who was more than twice her age see her perform for him in her underwear.  She turned the volume on her computer and hoped her acting performance was convincing as Arthur Forbes was doling out shallow compliments and giving Megan some direction.  She twisted and contorted her body at his beckon call, feigning a smile on her face as she showed off her body in a way she never did before, even for the pothead ex-boyfriend she dated the prior fall.

She was getting bored after about 15 minutes of this but was willing to indulge as long as she needed to, but a request came from Arthur’s mouth that surprised her.

“Do you smoke cigarettes, sexy?”

“Yeah why?”

“Would you mind smoking one for me?  I find young girls who smoke sooo sexy. Lol”

Megan was briefly in shock, as it had never occurred to her that anyone would find her smoking to be “sexy”.  For her it was just a nasty habit that helped calm her down during her brief moments of downtime during the day.  Still, the fact that she possessed something else that made Arthur Forbes desire her could only be a good thing.  She grabbed her pack of Marlboro Reds off her nightstand and lit one up.  Immediately, Arthur was energized at a whole different level and requesting dangles, talking exhales, French inhales, and an assortment of other tricks that Megan delivered upon request to glowing accolades.  After she finished one cigarette, he asked her to smoke another and she joyfully agreed, lighting up in as seductive of a way as she could think of, still having a hard time wrapping her mind around the idea that someone found her smoking to be sexy.  As he continued to lavish over-the-top praise for her smoking, Megan smiled as she realized this was gonna be easier than she ever imagined.


The connection Megan hoped for had happened.  Every single night after work for the next 10 days, she performed for Arthur, taking every conceivable request he could think of for her to wear including leggings, leather, bikinis, a dress, a miniskirt, or whatever else he could think of, and every single night he also requested she smoke cigarettes.  Megan was grateful for the pocket money this webcam service was providing for her since so much of the money was going for cigarettes.  She had typically smoked about a half pack a day but was now smoking more like a pack a day thanks to these webcam sessions with Arthur.  It scared Megan that was having a genuine connection with this guy she hated so much, and as the flirty banter got hot and heavy at times, she had to mentally check herself and keep her eye on the prize, letting her parents’ condition be a reminder that this guy was the bane of her existence.

During their “downtime” where they just chatted, she exploited Arthur’s efforts to open up after just learning his wife had been cheating on him.  Megan offered a metaphorical shoulder for him to cry on and probed him for details, playing along every step of the way while processing the information in hopes she could use it against him moving forward.  Megan began to share some of her own story, filtered in a way that left out key details and mostly focused on her fast-food job and living with her drunk aunt, which Arthur did his best to pretend to sympathize with.  Megan knew he was incapable of genuine sympathy though and his responses never seemed particularly genuine, which actually worked to her advantage since she figured he’d be less likely to press her for the full story which would of course reveal to him who her real parents were.

In the middle of one of her semi-pity parties, Megan pushed the envelope and confessed how she wished she could just “pack up her stuff and move in with you tonight”. Arthur, in a moment of weakness himself, suggested that just might be a possibility since he was so lonely after his wife’s betrayal.  Megan said she would genuinely be up for it and Arthur’s radar never really went up thinking he was being conned.  Whenever the thought crossed his mind, he reminded himself that there’s no idea she could know who he was beyond that he lived in Kokomo, and figured that finding out he was the richest guy in town would be an extra perk for her when the time came.

Spring break at school started the following evening and Arthur revealed that “his kids were going to Florida for a week”, creating a perfect timeline for Megan to dig her talons into him.  They set up a date the following night and Megan put on all her charm and giving an Oscar-worthy acting performance to make this obnoxious and arrogant 49-year-old man think she was into him.  The night ended at his place, and Megan held her nose and slept with him for what she knew would be the first of many times she’d have to.  An offer was made for a more permanent arrangement…..and Megan took him up on it.  She was moving on out of her aunt’s place…..and was about to become a wrecking ball on the Forbes home in a way none of its remaining three residents were even vaguely prepared for.


Eight days after that fateful dinner date where Megan met Arthur and set the stage to move in with him very soon thereafter, Brandon and Lisa came stumblingly into the front door of their father’s home bright and early on a Sunday morning, having flown back from Florida overnight.  It was only 8 a.m. and while they slept on the plane, the twins were still exhausted when they hauled their luggage inside, immediately noticing something was amiss and musing amongst each what the hell was going on before their father came into the kitchen to greet them, wearing only a T-shirt and shorts having just gotten out of bed.

Before Arthur was even able to get out a proper greeting, Lisa barked out a question through her cringed nose, “Why does it reek of cigarette smoke in here?”

Arthur paused for a moment, trying to find a way to break the news that he knew they wouldn’t like but was ultimately too self-centered to care about before finally saying, “Well…kids….I’ve met somebody while you were away.”

Brandon and Lisa stood there in shock that after the turmoil their mother put the household through just a couple of weeks earlier, their father would so quickly throw another painful monkey wrench in their lives.  Brandon broke the angered silence with “you can’t be serious, dad”.

Just as Arthur was about to respond, Megan came out from outside the hallway in a way that was timed perfectly for her own sinister motives but contrary to Arthur’s requests that he let Megan tell his kids the whole story before formally introducing them.  Megan strutted into the kitchen wearing only her pink bra and panties, carrying her ashtray with her with a freshly lit Marlboro Red dangling from her lips.   She pretended to not know the kids had gotten home when she said, “You coming back to bed soon, baby?” before looking up and making eyes with the stunned Brandon and Lisa Forbes.

“What’s she doing here?” Lisa shouted at the top of her lungs with Brandon chiming in simultaneously with words to the same effect.

Arthur looked at Megan with confusion, saying “You two know each other?”

Megan, putting on an Oscar-worthy acting performance, pretended to be shocked herself and said through a talking dangle, “These are your kids, Arthur?” as her cigarette bounced up and down in her lips.

All hell then broke loose with both kids screaming obscenities at their father and trash-talking Megan as “the biggest loser in school”.  Lisa appeared to be genuinely hurt to her core as she looked at her father and pointed to Megan saying “You left mom for her??!!” Megan acted embarrassed but was barely able to contain her smirk.  For the first time in three and a half years, she had the asshole Forbes twins on the defensive in the most personal way.  This little stunt alone probably made up for the years of merciless bullying that the Forbes twins imposed on Megan, but she was just getting warmed up with what she had in store for them, and it couldn’t have possibly been more satisfying watching the shitstorm ensue right in front of her while she stood there half-naked.  It blew her mind that she spent the whole week living under the same roof as Arthur Forbes and it never came up that Megan was the same age as his kids yet there was nary an inquiry whether or not she may have known them.  Arthur’s self-centeredness made him such an easy mark.

After about a minute of barely getting a word in amidst his enraged children screaming at him and cursing Megan, Arthur had had enough.  “All right!” he shouted in an authoritative way that commanded immediate silence in the room and impressed Megan who finally saw how Arthur was capable of being a successful business leader.  “You may have some prior differences with Megan and I feel kind of bad springing this new on you like this right after your mother left, but Megan and I have something special and as of now she lives in this home!”

Arthur put his arm around Megan’s bare waist and pulled her close to him, to which Megan couldn’t contain a small smile while watching both kids visibly grimace at the sight.  She didn’t know for sure how Arthur would respond to finding out what his kids thought of her.  At one level she would have gotten partial satisfaction if the gig had ended right there and Arthur had asked her to leave, but feeling his lizard hand wrapped around her waist as a public display in front of his kids assured her she was gonna get to ride this out as far as she wanted to.

“As long as the four of us live under this roof, you will show Megan respect…and Megan will show respect to you,” Arthur continued, looking down to Megan to verify she felt the same as she pressed herself closer to him and put her arm around him.  “I realize this might be awkward at first but I know all of you and you are good people who can get along living in this house.  Yes, Megan smokes.  I’m not a huge fan of it myself but she’s a smoker, it’s part of her lifestyle, and we’re gonna tolerate it.  Now does anybody have anything to say here that’s constructive?”

Brandon and Lisa launched iceberg missiles out of their eyes at Megan as she put her hands all over their father, not knowing what to say.  Megan took advantage of the brief silence by looking up at Arthur in their embrace and making a cynical suggestion, “Baby, why don’t you let me talk to them for a minute and I’ll meet you back in bed in a few minutes.  I think I can maybe break the ice a bit better if you’re out of the room.”

Brandon and Lisa pleaded with their father through their eyes not to leave, but Arthur concurred with the teenage girl who in two weeks had completely wrapped herself around his finger, responding “That’s a good idea.  Why don’t I leave you two kids alone?  Good luck, sweetie,” he said bending down for a quick peck on the lips.

Megan approached Brandon and Lisa a coupe of steps closer than she had been but didn’t completely invade their space, taking a drag from her cigarette and exhaling quasi-recklessly so it wasn’t a direct hit but so that Brandon and Lisa were both waving the cigarette smoke out in front of their faces while Megan pretended to not even notice and began talking with just the faintest smirk on her face to let the kids know as subtly as possible that this was all a game and that she was winning.  “I know this is weird guys, but your father and I have something special and we’re gonna see things through. We haven’t always seen eye to eye in the past but I see no reason that we can’t be a family.  If there’s anything you’d like me to do for you guys, just name and I’ll try to help out.”  She paused momentarily and was pleased that both twins were too stunned to comment, just sitting there looking at Megan with searing rage while frantically waving her stream of secondhand smoke out of their faces.

“Well good,” Megan concluded.  “I’ll give you some time to think things over and maybe we can have a family meeting in a couple of days.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go have intercourse with your father.”  She turned around before she could visualize their response to that last comment, strutting like a peacock out of the room and shaking her booty with each step until she was out of sight.  Once her back was turned to them, the faint smirk on her face turned into a beaming smile.  She didn’t particularly love that she had to make good on what she told the twins she was going to do, but knowing how horrified they were about it made it all worth while.


Megan took full advantage of the awkwardness that ensued in the days and weeks ahead, both at home and at school.  Brandon and Lisa suddenly had nothing to say when they saw Megan in and around school.  She stood up to the bullies in the most epic possible way and they backed down in an equally epic fashion.  They resented their father just as strongly if not more so and barely spoke to him anymore, only going through the motions of the occasional “family breakfast” and discussion because they knew he was their meal ticket and they couldn’t possibly walk away from him and his money without financial  repercussions that would haunt them long-term.  They knew their father was petty enough to withhold their promised tuition for Princeton next year if they crossed him, so they bit their tongue, hoping he’d come to his senses and rid them of this classmate they despised who had so callously and calculatingly taken the place of their mother.

Megan got the most sadistic pleasure tormenting the Forbes twins in the bedroom with their father.  Despite his early protests that it was inappropriate, Arthur ultimately agreed to Megan’s kinky suggestion that they leave their bedroom door open at night.  Megan knew with Arthur’s ego what it was that he would get a cheap thrill having his kids hear him pleasure this young girl.  And Megan hammed it up as much as humanly possible, almost always climbing atop Arthur when they copulated, bouncing and grinding on him while screaming at the top of her lungs in orgasmic pleasure, an endless, ear-splitting cacophony of “Yes! Oh yes!  Arthur!  Oh Arthur” that she knew Brandon and Lisa were listening to across the hall whether they wanted to or not.  This exercise was mostly to stick it to Brandon and Lisa, but it was also partly a coping mechanism to help her get some perverse pleasure out of a nightly sexual routine with this man who she still despised, and frequently had to remind herself just how much she hated him even as she opened up her body for his personal amusement.  The only part of it she genuinely enjoyed was catering to his smoking fetish with nightly role-playing, smoky kisses, and exhales into his face.  The novelty of the smoking fetish never wore off and she felt even more empowered being in the role of turning a man on with the smoking habit that most judged her harshly for.


Megan never had a lot of free time even before she started this high-stakes hustle against the Forbes family, but she had even less now that she was spending so much time that she wasn’t at school or at work with Arthur and his kids.  In the rare moments when she had some downtime, she did a little online searching to see if she could find out exactly how careless Arthur Forbes was with his money.  The findings of her investigation:  pretty darn careless!  She didn’t think he’d possibly use his handle from the webcam site (LegsNAssMan66) as his password for his financial accounts…but he did.  And Megan got a look at his balance sheet which was at first frightening.  There were rumors going around, which Megan heard background noise about in the past few months, that the Forbes company was on its heels after a string of business ventures that lost money.  But Megan didn’t realize the extent of it until she looked at Arthur’s recent history of withdrawals and shuffling money around.  At first she didn’t know if the final stage of her plan was even tactically possible anymore, but her ultimate finding gave her hope that she might be able to dig the knife in one last time if she was able to pull this off.  She had middling confidence whether she would, but everything had gone just perfectly thus far.

And the weeks went on as April turned into May.  Megan continued playing house with the Forbes family, which she figured would be an insufferable chore, but actually enjoyed the sex, particularly the way she was using it as a weapon, and in endlessly tormenting Brandon and Lisa.  Sunday mornings were “family breakfast day” at the Forbes home, Megan’s favorite time to twist the knife on the kids.  She always paraded around the kitchen in her bra and panties while cooking breakfast, always with a cigarette in hand or dangling from her lips, never quite believing Arthur let her get away with all this in his home in front of his children.  Sausages and pancakes were on the menu this morning and Megan hand delivered each plate with a faux perkiness to a sullen Brandon and Lisa, always sure to get an exhale from her cigarette in just as she made the delivery knowing how much they both despised her smoking.  After bringing a plate of breakfast food for the kids, Megan returned with a plate for Arthur, who sat across the kitchen table from Brandon and Lisa.  After setting the plate of food in front of Arthur, Megan sat down on his lap.  Arthur wasted no time feeling up Megan’s nubile teenage body, a sight that absolutely sickened his offspring.

“Aren’t you gonna eat anything this morning, sexy?  You went to all the trouble of making it for us,” he said, touching his finger to her nose.

“I’ll just have a bite or two of yours.  I don’t want to get fat and lose this body you love so much,” Megan said in a babyish lover’s voice, laying it on thick while sticking Arthur’s fork into his pancakes and cutting off a forkful which she then fed to the middle-aged Arthur who readily accepted it and smacked her on the right asscheek that was hanging off his lap.  Megan giggled at his boyish friskiness and took a drag from her cigarette, turning to the twins in front of her and giving a quick look as she exhaled her smoke their direction.

“I have completely lost my appetite!” Lisa snorted before throwing back her chair and storming out of the room.

“Lisa….c’mon,” Arthur halfheartedly called back with no success, but soon lost interest in his daughter’s presence as Megan approached his mouth with another forkful of pancakes.  Brandon looked straight down at his plate and ate the food, not willing to give up a meal but also refusing to make eye contact with the spectacle playing out in front of him.  Megan then took a bite of pancakes of her own followed by another before Arthur asked what she wanted to do on their day off.

“I’m glad it’s a day off for you but some of us have to cook meals for the rest of Kokomo and not just breakfast for their baby,” Megan responded, hoping to change the subject by pulling in for a kiss and letting Arthur taste her fresh ciggy breath like he always enjoys so much.

Arthur didn’t cooperate though as when the kiss ended he said, “No girl of mine should be working fast food.  Why don’t you quit that nasty place?”

“Well I thought about putting in my two-week notice but my coworkers depend on me and I don’t want to let them down.” She then reverted to her lover’s voice and added, “I just hate letting people I care about down,” before beginning to kiss all over Arthur’s neck and chest.  Arthur caressed her asscheek again and reasserted that he wanted her to put in her notice, which was fine with Megan because she needed a little more time to organize the final phase of her plan anyway.

“Sounds like a plan, baby”, Megan uttered to end the conversation, taking one final drag from her cigarette and crushing the butt out into the overflowing ashtray, exhaling as sneakily as possible in Brandon’s direction.   Megan didn’t even have to work today, but work was her alibi for a much more personal errand….one that may be the hardest thing she’s ever had to do.


Megan entered the Sturm Home with a heavier heart than usual for this month’s visitation hours.  She made it to these visitation days every month but was now regretful that she didn’t seek out even more time because it was almost certainly gonna be her last chance today.  She approached the front desk and saw the familiar face of “Jane” who worked there, who led her into the commons area.  Sitting there at a table was a face that brought a wave of uncontrollable emotion to Megan’s face.  It was her mother Stephanie…..who as usual was drugged into a state of sedation and only marginally aware of her surroundings.  Upon seeing Megan, a glimmer of a smile emerged on Stephanie’s face.  Megan didn’t know how much her mother was able to process about their history or even if she knew that she was her only daughter, but that ray of light in her mother’s eyes at least let Megan know she was a familiar and friendly face.

Megan sat right next to her mom and made small talk.  There were hints of the mother she remembered in the way Stephanie carried herself, but at least at her current level of medication, she was the shell of the woman she was just five years earlier before her breakdown.  And even after years of seeing her like this, it never stopped breaking Megan’s heart, particularly since her condition was widely figured to be irreversible at this point, with little prospect of her ever living the life of a free woman again.  At only 41 years old, Stephanie was poised to be confined to this institution for her remaining years.

Stephanie occasionally uttered statements but they were seldom coherent or on topic, and she struggled to find the words, leaving Megan to do most of the talking.  For most of Megan’s half hour with her mom, she made small talk about work and about graduating in a few short weeks, but as her visit came to close, it was time for her emotional farewell, the moment she dreaded for hours.  Megan pulled her chair right next to Stephanie and embraced her with a hug, before talking to her mother in a quiet voice so she’d be sure nobody else heard this very private moment.

“You would probably be so ashamed of me right now if you knew what I was doing, mama,” she began, the first tear beginning to roll down her cheek.  “I’d like to say I’m doing it for the right reason but I don’t know if revenge is the right reason.  I only hope that one day you’ll understand why I had to do this for you, for dad, and for myself before I could leave this town and get on with my life.”

Despite her dazed and deluded state, Stephanie could sense from Megan’s tears and tone that whatever she was telling her was extremely serious, and a tear before rolling out of her eye to accompany the tears shed by her daughter.  Megan reached up and wiped Stephanie’s tear away as she continued, “I can’t promise I’ll ever see you again, mama, or if you’ll know me at all by the time I do return.  But some day I hope to see you again….one way or another.”

The conversation was not making Megan’s situation any easier and she knew she had to cut things off before she completely lost it.  She kissed her mother on the forehead and then held her in a lengthy, tearful embrace saying “Goodbye mama!” before finally letting go and getting one last look at the loving mother who had been so good to her for her first 13 years of life.  Megan knew she’d feel guilty about walking away from her for the rest of her life, but it had to be done.  There was just no coming back after what she was about to do to the Forbes family.


A few days later, Megan was sitting up in bed looking at her laptop, filling the bedroom with smoke from her just-lit Marlboro Red.  Arthur was mulling around the bedroom preparing to climb into bed himself as Megan did her best to appear transfixed by the images on her computer screen.  Arthur climbed into bed, touching Megan on the shoulder but failing to generate a response from her, thus pressing him to inquire about her distraction.

“Whatcha looking at?”

Megan gave him a flirtatious, up-to-no-good side eye glance as she dragged from her cigarette before responding with “Maserati, baby.  Maserati!” through a talking exhale that captured Arthur’s attention at least as much as Megan’s actual words.

Arthur leaned over in bed to check out the flashy red Italian convertible on Megan’s computer screen.   “You’re into those flashy cars, huh?”

“Oh yeah!” Megan answered with a flourish.  She paused a couple of moments before getting up the nerve to make her big play.  “I think I’ll put it on my graduation gift wish list,” she said while wrapping her arm around Arthur’s and leaning into him affectionately, exhaling a plume of cigarette smoke straight into his face just as he loved.

Arthur laughed out loud in a “nice try” sort of way, but Megan pressed forward in a seemingly half-hearted way. “I’m seerious!” she said playfully.  “I’ll make a deal with you!  I will continue my job and pay my way through community college if you pay for my wheels.”

“You’re serious aren’t you??!?!” Arthur responded in playful surprise.

“Yeah!  I’ve always wanted a hot car and I would think Mr. Arthur Forbes would want his girlfriend to be driving around in style to maintain his image.”

Arthur laughed again, but now appreciating that Megan was serious about this.  She continued to show him photos of the car and Arthur was impressed with her knowledge of and passion for the car as she spent the next few minutes describing details about it. Witnessing this, Arthur began to entertain early thoughts of fulfilling her wish and buying the car, and Megan could tell her sales pitch was working.  She was willing to play whatever underhanded card she needed to get him to buy this car for her, but judging from the look on his face as she continued talking about it, the more she realized she probably wouldn’t even have to go nuclear to get what she wanted.

A couple of weeks went by and Megan could tell by Arthur’s body language and verbal cues that he was working on delivering that “big surprise” for her.  She still dropped the occasional Maserati reference just to see how Arthur responded, and she always walked away 99% sure the final phase of her epic hustle was coming together.  High school graduation was fast approaching and she found herself getting more and more nervous about what came after.  She was grateful that she still felt nothing but contempt for Arthur as it made her manipulation that much easier to pull off with only a partially guilty conscience.  He had been kind to her these past couple of months but only because she was a perfect sexual fantasy for him who he wanted to keep on the hook.

The big day came the weekend before graduation.  Arthur came home from work a little late and handed Megan a set of keys when he got in the door.  Megan acted shocked that he actually delivered on his promise when she went outside and got inside the $150,000 Italian car he just bought her.  Brandon and Lisa had thought they were past the point of being shocked by anything Arthur did that involved Megan, but they threw another hissy fit about Megan’s new car right outside in the driveway as Megan adored the new wheels.  Megan reflexively pulled out her cigarettes as she sat behind the wheel and was about to light one when Arthur noticed, breaking away from his bitching son and daughter long enough to scold Megan.

“Uh, baby.  I do have one rule in the new car.  No smoking.”

Megan seemed a little surprised but took the unlit cigarette out of her mouth to return it to the pack.

Arthur explained himself, hoping he hadn’t hurt Megan’s feelings and adding “This is your car, baby, but I would like to drive it to business meetings and special events.  I can’t have it smelling of cigarette smoke in front of my clients.  I hope you understand.”

Megan smiled back, “Sounds like a perfectly reasonable deal, baby.  I can’t object to the guy who just bought me a Maserati having one small condition,” she added, winking at him.  She pats the leather passenger seat with her right hand and added, “Now why don’t you hop on in and let me give you a test drive.”

Arthur smiled and began to do as requested.  Megan then turned to the distraught Brandon and Lisa hovering on the side and deviously said “I’ll be happy to give you guys a test ride too when I get back if you’d like,” feigning a good-faith offer.

“Fuck you!” exclaimed Lisa, while Brandon shouted “Piss off, bitch!” at almost the same time, both turning to walk away in defeat.  This was supposed to be an exciting week for them with graduation looming, but their father and especially Megan were ruining it for them.  Their resentment couldn’t have been more palpable as Megan gave her new car some gas before pulling out of the driveway and taking to the streets of Kokomo.


Twelve days had passed, along with the graduation ceremony for Brandon, Lisa, and Megan, when Arthur’s quiet Saturday afternoon was disrupted by a frantic Brandon and Lisa bursting through the front door to confront him, shaking envelopes in their hands that they had just picked up in the mail.

“Dad,” led Lisa in a raised voice full of genuine concern, “According to this, our tuition checks to Princeton bounced.  What the hell is going?”

Arthur took the envelope from Lisa with a confused look on his face.  He winced and realized he screwed up, touching his hand to his face.  “We’ve been having a rough stretch at work lately and I ran quite a bit shorter on funds than I thought.”  He paused to consider his options before uttering, “I’ll make this right, kids.”

Both twins looked exasperated as Brandon asked, “Didn’t you say we had special reserve accounts at the bank set aside for our tuition?”

Arthur stood there looking at the sheet at a loss for words before Lisa interrupted curtly, “Well don’t we??!?!”

“You did,” Arthur responded.  “But I diverted it.”

It didn’t take long for both twins to realize where the money went, looking at each in horror.  “You spent it all on her didn’t you?” Brandon asked with contempt.  “That little tramp got all our college money, didn’t she?”

“Yes….yes!” Arthur answered with annoyance in his voice, having been completely busted.  “Like I said, a couple of deals have gone badly in the last few months and we’re running lower on funds than I anticipated.  I thought by now the Pearson account would have kicked in.”

“I don’t believe this!” Lisa screamed, on the precipice of tears.  “Dad, the deadline for our tuition is June 15.  That’s six days away.  You have to make this happen!”

Arthur stroked his chin with his right hand, trying to come up with something before reaching the obvious conclusion.  “You kids’ education comes first.  I’m just gonna have to take back the Maserati.”

“Hallelujah the first sensible thing you’ve said since mom left!” Lisa sneered.  “Where is the little bitch anyway.  I want to see the look on her face when you take her precious car away from her.”

“She should be home by now,” Arthur said, knowing that she left for work this morning and was supposed to be done by mid-afternoon.  “Let me call her up.”

Arthur took out his cell phone and punched Megan’s number on the speed dial.  He was surprised when he immediately heard a shrill dial tone followed by a computerized operator voice saying “We’re sorry.  This number is no longer in use.  Please check the number and try again.”   Arthur looked at his phone expecting he must have punched in the wrong speed dial, and then watched his fingers carefully to make sure he got Megan’s number this time, only to hear the same message in seconds.  He pulled the phone away from his, with a look on his face that was still more confused than suspicious.  His already irate son and daughter looked up at him with a more mortified look having heard the computerized voice on his phone just as Arthur had, and they seemed to know before Arthur did that the game had very dramatically changed.


Meanwhile, driving west on I-74 through western Illinois about halfway between Peoria and Moline was a pale blue 2001 Mercury Grand Marquis driven by Megan Neary, her face beaming with pride and liberation as she hustled westward, checking her speedometer to make sure she was going under 75 and thus not risking getting pulled over, but still in a major hurry to get as far away from Kokomo, Indiana, as she could in her new car.  The next morning after Arthur bought her the Maserati she called around looking for any dealership in the area willing to do a trade-in for a low mileage used car.  She knew she’d take a haircut on the $150,000 Maserati even though it had only 200 miles on it, but she was more than satisfied to have walked out of the dealership with a $7,000 used car and a $119,000 check in her pocket.

Megan looked to her purse in her passenger seat and just couldn’t resist digging in to unearth the documentation of the perfect con she was in the process of getting away with.  She reached into the purse to see the $131,000 receipt she had from her bank before she withdrew her money for cash, which she had arranged for more than a week in advance, that included her $12,000 in savings along with the $119,000 from the car trade-in.  She didn’t feel particularly comfortable having the satchel full of more than $100,000 in her trunk underneath her spare tire, but it would have to do for now until she got to whatever town she decided to settle in several states away.  She rolled down her driver’s side window and grabbed her cigarette lighter, igniting a flame to the bank statement to erase it as well as the last evidence that Megan Neary ever existed.  As soon as the statement was smoldering in flames she tossed it out the window to finish burning into ashes on the freeway.

Megan then reached back into her purse for her new driver’s license and Social Security card, the license featuring the face from Megan’s old license along with the name Megan Teague.  Megan knew her friend and fast-food boss Lupe was the linchpin to making the first and last stages of her plan come together….the first being access to Judith Forbes’ affairs and to Arthur’s online usernames….and the last being access to the same identity auteur who helped Lupe produce false documents years back proving that she was in America legally.  Lupe’s source created a fake identity for Megan as well, that of a girl from Steubenville, Ohio……who just happened to be heading west.  After cashing out at her bank, Megan made one final stop to Lupe’s house to bid her farewell and slip her $15,000 of untraceable cash for her efforts.

Megan didn’t know for sure what she was gonna do wherever she ended up, but figured something along the lines of a part-time job and then enrollment in the nearest community college for the fall term.  All that was important to her was that she was out of Kokomo and that she had finally extracted the payment she thought her family was owed from Arthur Forbes while making the rest of his loathsome family pay the consequences as well.   She figured when she set up her new bank account in the new town, she’d filter in her cash windfall to the account a few thousand dollars at a time over the course of months to minimize suspicion.  Perhaps in time, after everything cooled off, and depending on her condition, she’d arrange to have her mother transported from Kokomo to the mental institution nearest her new residence.  It would be a high-stakes gamble, but after just scoring a royal flush with the high-stakes gamble she just took, she thought another roll of the dice for her mother’s sake may some day be in order.  But for right now, she was just looking to enjoy her new life, knowing she wouldn’t have to worry about money anytime soon.

The sun was starting to get into Megan’s eyes as she drove west and the June afternoon was transitioning to evening with the Quad Cities and the Iowa border approaching.  She reached back into her purse for two more items.  She first grabbed her sunglasses and placed them over her eyes, and then reached for her pack of Marlboro Reds, firing one up with the lighter she had recently utilized on the bank statement, taking a soothing seven-second drag with a pleasured look on her face that was followed up a cloudy exhale that flowed towards the windshield before crashing into it.  Megan may have been forbidden from smoking in the Maserati, but the “smoking permitted” light was always gonna be flashing “on” in her Mercury.


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Minnesota State Fair Overview

The Minnesota State Fair is my favorite sightings venue of the year.  It has been delivering for me consistently since I was a boy and has been the source of a long list of my best sightings of all-time.  Going back to 1993, I have scored 3,242 sightings at the Minnesota State Fair.  The list has become so long that I’ve written my own shorthand version of a top-300 sightings of all-time from the MNSF.  And even that list only represents about 12% of total sightings over the last 20 years.  From there I’ve narrowed it down to a top-100 list…

Below I will make two separate lists.  The first is the total number of sightings I scored each year at the Minnesota State Fair since I started keeping count.  The second is a numerical breakdown of my top-100 sightings year by year.  It’s not easy to explain but hopefully it’ll make since when you see the chart….

Chart 1

1993–2 sightings
2009, Trip 1–206
2009, Trip 2—95
2010, Trip 1—117
2010, Trip 2—212

2011, Trip 1–194

2011, Trip 2–203

2012, Trip 1–186

2012, Trip 2–199

2013, Trip 1–180

2013, Trip 2–196

2014, Trip 1–177

2014, Trip 2–183

Some more specifics about the figures in Chart 1 below.  But first Chart 2, the distribution of my top-110 sightings year-to-year….

Chart 2

2000–2, 12, 81
2001–8, 16
2002–51, 80
2003–20, 28, 32
2004–7, 19, 40, 46, 62
2005–42, 82
2006–4, 13, 22, 42, 95, 109
2007–9, 17, 18, 34, 73, 94, 101, 105
2008–3, 6, 24, 30, 35, 54, 90, 98, 103
2009, Trip 1–31, 52, 102, 110
2009, Trip 2–14, 37, 67, 77, 83, 97
2010, Trip 1—10, 36, 68, 76, 91
2010, Trip 2—5, 44, 56, 59, 85

2011 , Trip 1–15, 47, 58, 62, 78, 106

2011, Trip 2–21, 26, 55, 60, 74, 84, 86

2012, Trip 1–27, 38, 45, 92, 100

2012, Trip 2–25, 39, 53, 63, 69, 87, 99

2013, Trip 1–28, 40, 61, 65, 79, 93

2013, Trip 2–11, 46, 70, 72, 107

2014, Trip 1–48, 64, 71, 96, 104

2014, Trip 2–20, 50, 75, 88, 108

Now I’ll do a brief year-to-year synopsis to accompany the charts….

1993–The year I finally broke through with my first memorable sighting after eight years of attending the Minnesota State Fair with a bourgeoning but still undefined smoking fetish.  I had just turned 16 a couple days before my first consequential MNSF sighting transpired, and I couldn’t have asked for a better “sweet 16” gift.  Grade:  B+

1994–It was just my mom and I this year as my dad had to work.  Sightings of smokers were not on my mind and I spent much of my day at free country music concerts in the bandshell.  This was the only year of the last 18 where I didn’t score a single memorable sighting. Grade: Incomplete

1995–Another year of just my mom and I.  Pretty much a carbon copy of the year before except for one significant development…..a vintage sighting of a hot blonde near the sandcastles that remains in my top-100 of all-time 16 years later.  I had just turned 18 and on my continued slow road to having a defined smoking fetish.  This sighting was one more stepping stone on that road.  Grade:  B

1996–Two days before I left for college, I had no idea that I was about to have an even more consequential day in the trajectory of my life, but on August 28, 1996, exactly that happened.  Once again it was just me and my mom, attending one of our bandshell concerts and stumbling into the epic foursome that would become known as “The State Fair Girls”.  There are few days in the history of my fetish as momentous as this one.  Grade:  A

1997–For the first year since 1993, my dad was back this year.  All those years in the 90s I wasted with trucking through commercial exhibit buildings with my parents, attending bandshell concerts during the day, and leaving in the mid-to-late afternoon after only 7-8 hours at the fair….all during the era where teen smoking rates were at their highest since the late 70s.  What a waste.  This was the final year in which I didn’t have smoker sightings in mind as I journeyed through the fairgrounds, but even without paying attention I managed to score one passing sighting of a babe smoking in a cluster of hotties.  Grade:  D+

1998–I had worked at the post office this summer and although I hadn’t fully come to terms with my smoking fetish by the time the MNSF came around at summer’s end, it was the first state fair where I was consciously looking for pretty girls with cigarettes.  So I had that part down…but I still hadn’t changed my ways, following in the folks’ shadows through the buildings and sitting at outdoor concerts during the day.  I did pull off a handful of mediocre sightings, but chalk this up to another wasted year at the exact time when teen girl smoking rates hit their peak.  Grade:  C-

1999–On May 11, 1999, I discovered the smoking fetish websites online and spent the rest of the summer intensely searching for sightings in a way I never had before.  This would be my first Minnesota State Fair with a confirmed smoking fetish.  Yet once again, for a final year, I was in my parents’ shadow for most of the day.  By mid-afternoon without any good sightings, I was feeling very disappointed…and straitjacketed.  There had to be a ton of smoking going on the grounds but I just wasn’t in a position to see it, I kept telling myself.  But I finally came up with the solution I should have came up with years earlier.  At age 22, I finally told the folks I was gonna wander the grounds for the final hour by myself.  In doing so, I saw a number of quality sightings, including a girl who remains in my top-60
MNSF sightings of all-time today. Needless to say, a monster was born…and the Minnesota State Fair would never be the same again.   Grade:  B-

2000–This was a year of transition for me in quite a few ways.  It was a gloomy and cool day and I had to leave the fair early to go to a job interview.  Not necessarily a recipe for a great day at the fair, but I nonetheless scored two of my top-15 MNSF sightings of all-time, including my #2 sighting ever, the best young girl sighting of my life.  It was transitional because I still spent about 40% of my day with the parents either in the buildings or at outdoor bandshell concerts.  No complaints this year as being with my parents facilitated both of my epic sightings of the day in their own way.  Still, it was the end of an era for both the daytime bandshell concerts and me spending any time at all with my parents.  The new millennium was gonna have an entirely new set of rules for the Minnesota State Fair.  Grade: A-

2001–The transition put into place two years prior reached its completion in 2001, the first MNSF that would resemble my current state fair safaris.  I separated from the folks early in the morning and navigated the grounds on my own terms.  I also counted sightings that I accrued on the grounds for the first time and was actually surprised when the number exceeded 100.  I had to wait until the dinner hour, but I managed to score two epic sightings that year.  Also new to 2001 was the shift of the bandshell concerts from the daytime to the evening. Starting at 8:30 p.m. Ronnie Milsap took the stage.  This was important because prior to 2001, my family had left the fairgrounds before dark every year.  Being able to stick around after dark would bring about a new MNSF experience and a boatload of new sightings.  And after all this, I would get home around midnight, log onto the computer, and find my one-month-old love interest Dana waiting for me online to hear all about my day at the fair and lamenting how she wished could have tagged along.  Needless to say, another great day.  Grade: A-

2002–I backslid a little this year from the previous year in a couple of ways.  My mom had to work a few hours early in the morning so we took off late and didn’t even get to the fairgrounds until after 11, a good two hours later than normal.  And there were no evening concerts and thus no grounds to stick around after dark, meaning we left at 7 p.m. once again.  Nonetheless, I navigated the grounds on my own again the entire day and dedicated the eight hours I did have that day exclusively to sightings.  How did they hold up?  Mixed bag.  If you check out my Chart 2, you’ll see that I only had a couple top-100 sightings that year and nothing in epic terrain.  Numberswise, however, I still pulled off more than 100 sightings in those eight hours, which is a pretty good timeframe for that number of sightings, even though plenty of them were third-tier sightings of moderately attractive single mothers and the like.  Not a bad day at the fair, but disappointing by MNSF standards.  Grade:  B-

2003–Another year of just my mom and I as my dad had to work.  It was also another year of an evening bandshell concert which of course faciliated a longer day at the fair that lasted until well after 10 p.m. Again, I flew solo all day and dedicated the entire day to sightings. The numbers were strikingly consistent with the previous two years with just over 100 sightings, but this year I scored three sightings in the near-epic category that remain in my top-40 today and bested anything scored at the 2002 MNSF.  I also scored my first blockbuster MNSF sighting during the evening hours, which set the stage for much more aggressive evening fetishing in the years to come.  My best years were still ahead of me, but this was indeed a good one.  Grade:  B+

2004–A year very similar to the previous year in that it was again just my mom and I and we stuck around late for another evening concert.  Numberswise, I broke a previous record with 109 total sightings, but that was just a few more than I had scored the three previous years. There was only one big difference between 2004 and previous years.  The quality was astounding.  Right away in the morning, I was scoring epic and blockbuster sightings, the best of which was my Swisher Sweet girl still in my top-10 today.  The quality of the sightings held up over the course of the day and I managed five sightings that remain in my top-60 MNSF sightings. It was my most consistently satisfying sightings day at the MNSF thus far.  Grade:  A

2005–This was my 20th consecutive year at the Minnesota State Fair.   I was unemployed and had nothing to do.  And I had just had an epic local county fair with three of my best sightings of all-time.  All this meant I was rarin’ to go and was more excited about the emerging Minnesota State Fair than I had ever been before, so much so that I made the first incarnation of my top-25 MNSF sightings list of all time in the days before the fair.  So did it live up to the hype that year?  Not really.  It was my weakest Minnesota State Fair of the decade.  I barely crossed the 100-sighting threshold and there were no truly blockbuster sightings, as evidenced by how few entries 2005 has in my top-100.  It was still a more productive day than any of my 1990s safaris where I hung out with my parents all day and left by 5 p.m., but definitely the weakest from the 2000s, especially considering I was out on my own all day and stayed until 10:30 p.m.  Grade:  C+

2006–This was the year where things blew wide open.  With one change to my formula, my number of total daily sightings nearly doubled.  In recent years, there were evening bandshell concerts which sidelined me from about 8 p.m. to 10:30.  For whatever reason, the quality of the concerts diminished badly starting this year, which meant my sightings numbers went off the hook.  But even within the traditional timeframe of years prior, my past records were shattered and my old record of 109 sightings for the day was exceeded before 7 p.m.  But the sightings just kept coming into the evening hours and I ultimately scored 165 sightings, which at the time seemed insurmountable.  And beyond the quantity there was incredible quality to go along with it, with two sightings that remain in my top-15 of all-time and four additional entries in my top-100.  I thought this stroke of good fortune was a fluke at the time, but in reality it was more a combination of staying longer hours and becoming more efficient in my navigation.  The result was the first of a stretch of three sightings days at the Minnesota State Fair that were my all-time best.  Grade:  A+

2007–I was a little distracted heading into this MNSF safari on my 30th birthday.  Any red-blooded male would be the day after a smoky date with my biggest high school crush Krissy.  Nonetheless, I found my groove after a slow start and settled into a pattern almost identical to the previous year’s with blistering numbers of sightings and some top-shelf quality to boot.  By my 7 p.m. meeting time with the folks, I had scored THREE epic sightings (all still among my top-20 MNSF sightings of all-time) and was already at 124 sightings on the day.  Even though the evening hours didn’t deliver the way they had the previous year, I still bested the seemingly impassable 165 sightings I scored in 2006 by pulling in 184 in 2007.  I might give a narrow edge to 2006 as the better of the two years because it was so unprecedented up to that point to be scoring the volume of quality sightings I was that day in 2006 while 2007 was an extension of that.  Nonetheless, I raked in eight of my top-100 MNSF sightings in 2007.  Not a bad way to celebrate my 30th birthday. Grade: A+

2008–Without a shadow of doubt, my best day ever of fetishing not only at the Minnesota State Fair, but of all-time.  I have described in the past the trajectory of this day as a snowball that built momentum as it rolled downhill until it became a full-on avalanche.  The first hour of the day was infuriatingly slow but things got rolling pretty well with a spattering of great sightings in the late morning and early afternoon.  Things got better and better into the late afternoon and early evening, both in terms of quality and quantity.  And by evening things were off the hook, so off the hook that the only reason I didn’t cross the 200-sighting threshold is because I was seeing so many sightings of incredible quality in those last two hours that I stuck around to inspect them in detail.  Even at 10 p.m., after 13 hours of walking, I was operating on pure adrenaline and didn’t even really notice my intense foot pain as I usually do.  I scored 192 total sightings including two epics that rank among my top-10 of all-time, along with a total of nine entries in my top-100.  It’s hard to imagine a scenario where I could have a better day of fetishing than this, but the Minnesota State Fair has delivered for me so strongly in the past that I’m not ruling anything out.  Grade:  A+

2009, Trip 1–I got a surprise second trip to the Minnesota State Fair in 2009.  It was a good thing too because my first all-day trip was disappointing.  It was a cool day to begin with, but by mid-afternoon the clouds rolled in and the wind picked up and things became downright unpleasant for a late August day.  Beyond that, there were lengthy stretches in the morning and afternoon where sightings were simply nonexistent and where my mood was at times melancholy and bored in a way that’s very rare for MNSF trips.  As the temps cooled in the late afternoon and the evening, sightings numbers did pick up.  I was able to top the previous year’s record for sightings numbers and crossed the double-century threshold for the first time with 206 sightings, but had to sit for a good portion of the last two hours because of foot pain that came with arriving on the grounds an hour earlier than usual and stopping less frequently to admire epic sightings, which were fewer than years previous.  I left with four sightings in my top-100 and expected my 2009 MNSF experience to be a bit of dud, until I scored a very unexpected half-day encore visit the following week.  Grade:  B-

2009, Trip 2–It was like being Superman, flying around the Earth to reverse time and recreate a day that had passed when my parents asked if I’d be interested in going to the Minnesota State Fair again on Labor Day weekend last year, if only for a half-day (my mom had to work the next morning so staying till after 10 wasn’t an option).  It was a warm and sunny day and right off the bat I could tell that it was gonna be a much better day than the week before.  Sightings came at a regular clip throughout the day and at no point was I bored or distracted the way I was the previous week.  Several blockbusters occurred in this time frame, and the day ended with my only MNSF epic sighting of 2009.  All in all, I scored 95 sightings during the half day, including an impressive six that made their way to my all-time top-100.  Grade:  A

2010, Trip 1—Despite being sick with a lingering head cold and getting by on less than two hours sleep the night before, I was ready to go at my first excursion to the Minnesota State Fair on a sticky 90-degree day that would be cut short at 7 p.m. since I would be attending my first evening bandshell concert in five years.  The day was generally mediocre with a spattering of worthwhile sightings in the day’s early stages, but the final hour or so of fetishing made the trip worthwhile as I scored a bounty of blockbusters, and one monster epic that ended things on a high point leading into the concert.  I was especially pleased knowing that only five days later I would be returning, this time for a full day of sightings bliss.  Grade:  B+

2010, Trip 2—My full day at the Minnesota State Fair started slowly in a number of ways.  I was still a little bit sick.  I was smarting from a would-be love interest telling me the night before she just wanted to be friends.  The morning temperatures had dipped into the 40s and female fairgoers were decked out in jackets and jeans rather than tanktops and shorts.  But the day would warm up to a comfortable mid-60s high that brought about a crowd of historic proportion to the fair that day, an all-time one-day record attendance that was almost too much in the afternoon hours.  Sightings were hard to spot in these crowds and the ones I was seeing were generally marginal.  The day was considerably below average.  But then something crazy happened when nightfall came and the final three hours of the day would churn out one blockbuster/epic sighting after another, producing one of the best sightings nights of my life.  The daytime crowds that proved too stifling would eventually produce the evening crowds that were just right in churning out the right demographics of smokers, and I was in the right place at the right time to see many of them.  I ended up salvaging a modest day of fetishing about as impressively as possible.  Grade: A-

2011, Trip 1–It isn’t often that a day at the Minnesota State Fair starts producing an endless litany of outstanding sightings before 2 p.m., but that’s exactly what I was experienced that day, particularly during the noon hour when I enjoyed one after another rock star sighting and was convinced I was on the cusp of one of my best days ever at the Minnesota State Fair.  Unfortunately, the clouds rolled in at mid-afternoon and while it stayed dry, the clouds were a perfect metaphor for the wet blanket that was thrown on the day, as sightings became a lot more irregular and a lot less memorable in the second half of the afternoon.  This dragged on into the evening, but in the final hour or so, I did go on a mini-roll and racked up a handful of quality sightings.  Any time you get even a period of a day that delivers the way the early hours this day is a gift, but the slowdown in the second half of the day did keep the day from ranking up there with my best ever days of fetishing.  Grade:  B+

2011, Trip 2–The inverse of my first visit to the Minnesota State Fair in 2011, I sat in the passenger seat in horror on the drive up to the fairgrounds with rain coming down in buckets and no assurances that it was going to clear up for the rest of the day.  After a late morning clearing when we got there, the rain came again around noon and I was starting to get very nervous.  But by mid-afternoon the clouds broke and the sightings came fast and furious.  While there were no genuine epics for the day, there was a steady stream of above-average material that lasted from about 3 p.m. through the evening hours till the time I left around 10:30, and you can’t ask for much more than that during a day of fetishing.  Grade: A-

2012, Trip 1–My first trip to the Minnesota State Fair in 2012 happened to be on my 35th birthday, but it was hard to get too thrilled as the forecast was predicting rain my early afternoon and I was actually anticipating it would be an abbreviated day, and that I would return the next day for a complete day of fetishing.  The rain did come around the noon hour, but it wasn’t as bad as expected and was actually a catalyst for a couple great sightings while taking shelter from the downpour.  The downside of the rest of the day is that while the worst of the rain ended after about an hour, I was still planning on leaving early because the fairgrounds were a sloppy mess but by mid-afternoon decided to stick around.  The uncertainty was a buzzkill on the day, and it didn’t help that the evening hours I wanted to stick around for ended up being below-average.  With all that said, I had an above-average sightings haul with an ebb and flow pattern but which peaked in the late afternoon.  It wasn’t one of my best sightings days by any stretch, but all things considered I stitched together a pretty good day of memorable encounters.  Grade:  B+

2012, Trip 2–My second day at the state fair this year was about perfectly on par with the first day in terms of substance, with a healthy haul of impressive sightings but no single sighting that burned up my world.  But I’ll rate the second day a tick higher for a couple of reasons.  First, the weather was perfect, and when you arrive at the fairgrounds on a sunny day when you know you won’t run into any weather issues, your morale is always higher and that’s very important.  Secondly, I had a better evening haul on my second trip, and good evening sightings help wrap up a great day at the fair with a ribbon.  Always nice to exit the grounds for the evening with a beaming smile on your face.  Grade:  B+

2013, Trip 1–I was understandably nervous going into the 2013 Minnesota State Fair because of the unsettling news that smoking would be restricted to “designated smoking areas”, threatening to blow up the best venue for smoker girl sightings the world has ever known.  But I was relieved to see that there would be a generous 18 designated smoking areas on the grounds rather than the three or four I suspected, and most of them were located in areas that had been frequented by smokers on smoke breaks in the past.  Couple that with a fair amount of noncompliant smokers puffing away wherever they chose and August 24, 2013, wasn’t noticeably different from sightings days past at the MNSF.  The biggest annoyance ended up being the heat and humidity.  It was a steady day for sightings with decent quality at every stage of the day, and the designated smoking areas occasionally working as nifty holding pens that helped me rather than hurt me in scoring sightings.  The evening hours really sparkled, however, with more civil disobedience of the smoking areas and a “sensory overload” spurt where I was scoring quality sightings so steadily I could barely process it.  For as dark as I let my thoughts drift in the months preceding on what this day was likely to be, it was a huge sigh of relief that for all my worries it ended up being an above-average sightings day.  Grade:  A-

2013, Day 2–My second trip to the 2013 MNSF on Labor Day weekend was far less hot and humid than the week before and seemed poised to be a fantastic day.  It got off to a much slower start than the week before, and even though the daytime hours produced my best MNSF sighting in three years, things didn’t get consistently good until after dark.  And ironically, things got really good only after the weather went to hell, with storm clouds moving in and a steady rain coming down around 8:30 and lasting a good hour.  The rain was the source of a good half dozen outstanding sightings, in large part because it delayed the concert by pop sensation Macklemore who was performing in the grandstand that night and brought my favorite demographic of fairgoers in impressive numbers.  So basically the day featured beautiful weather and a ho-hum array of sightings, while the evening featured miserable rain that emptied out half the crowd at the fairgrounds, but some of the hottest smokers in the state were the ones who stuck around.  Gotta love the Minnesota State Fair!  Grade: A-

2014, Day 1–It’s regrettably getting increasingly rare to head up for a day at the Minnesota State Fair with an all-clear weather forecast.  It makes such a difference for morale to head up there knowing you’re gonna have a nice day with no chance of rain, but no such luck on my first Saturday there this year with a decent chance of rain in the forecast, and even though it never materialized outside of a few sprinkles, it dampened my enthusiasm.  The relatively modest haul of sightings was also pretty dampening, with a particularly glum start to the day, and an overall Day 1 that generally pretty average. There were enough extra base hits and blockbusters thrown in the mix to keep the day from becoming a bust though, and I salvaged a mediocre evening with the best sighting of the day.  I was pretty consistent numbers-wise with Day 1 from the previous year which I considered a success giving the shrinking rate of smoking in Minnesota.  Grade:  B

2014, Day 2–An improvement over Day 1 but still not a Hall of Fame day by any stretch.  Nice weather and gigantic crowds (an all-time one-day record) were both a blessing and a curse as I most likely lost some great sightings in the suffocating crowds.  On balance though, I had a steadier drumbeat of extra base hit sightings and a bit of a crescendo as the day proceeded, particularly in the evening where I really had some great finds, and one in particular who ran away with the 2014 Minnesota State Fair.  The biggest disappointment was in the overall sightings numbers, which on prior Labor Day weekends hovered just above or below the 200 threshold.  I fell far short of that with only 183 this year, a worrisome sign of potentially diminishing returns in the years ahead.  Grade:  B+

The consistency and history of the Minnesota State Fair as a sightings venue clearly rates it as my favorite place to fetish.   I feel like I dodged a major bullet when the designated smoking areas didn’t ruin that for me.  The fair board seems to be trying to remain as welcoming to smokers as possible, unlike most venues, but their hand was forced when a little girl got burned in the eye by a cigarette.  I have no illusions that the designated smoking areas will hold the antismoking crybabies at bay forever, but I think I at least bought myself an additional few years of a Minnesota State Fair that is as close to a wide-open fetishing paradise as exists in America today.

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MNSF #1. The 1996 State Fair Girls Who Escalated My Fetish

My smoking fetish was officially born on the sunny mid-afternoon hours on August 28, 1996, only three days after my 19th birthday, and three days before I left for my freshman year of college. And given the intensity my fetish has taken on in the years since, it was one of the single most defining moments of my life as it made me finally come to terms with just how sexy I find it to be when girls smoke. It’s the “granddaddy of all sightings” that I dramatized in my 90% reality-based  “State Fair Girls” story on Smoke Signals a few years later, and I honestly don’t think it’s possible for this sighting to ever be dethroned from its berth at the top given its long-term impact…..

There I sat, with my mom, at a concert for has-been country singer  Billy Jo Royale who I didn’t even really want to see, but agreed to since my mom liked him and since we had a couple of hours to kill back in the time when I had grown pretty bored with the Minnesota State Fair.  After sitting in the bleachers awaiting the free concert to begin, up came these adorable beauties, all around 18, dressed in as sexy and classy of summer attire as any guy could ever dream of (tanktops, very upscale looking jean shorts with flashy and glamorous belts), and sat in the bench directly in front of us. The thought briefly crossed my mind, as I admired their perfect figures and beautiful faces of this assortment of three blonds and one brunette, that these girls would make some amazingly hot smokers, even though that thought generally didn’t consume my every encounter with attractive females as it does today.

In no more than 30 seconds, my wish would become a reality as these beauties, one by one, opened their purses and retrieved their respective packs of Marlboro Lights, sparking up their all-whites within less than a minute of each other and proceeding to smoke cigarette after cigarette after cigarette for the entire two hours we sat there, completely oblivious to the dismay of others sitting next to them, several of whom left in disgust as the girls snickered.  Even my mom gave me a “What in the world could those girls be thinking smoking like that?” look, but thankfully we didn’t move. I just shrugged while trying to hide the fact that my jeans were elevating before my eyes.

It’s hard to single out which girl was my favorite, and I found myself declaring a new favorite every time I studied a different girl.  One dark blond who sat on the right was attractive but not in the league of the other three, but immediately to her left was a bodacious platinum blond in a pink top, white shorts, and a glamorous belt.  To the left of her was a long-haired brunette in badass sunglasses, a blue top, and jean shorts who looked the most comfortable and natural smoking a cigarette.  And on the far left was another incredible blond in white shorts who was mind-blowingly hot.  Again, every time I laid eyes on one of these three girls, she became my new favorite.  They were all just that amazing.

The concert was as big of a blur to me as the air quality a few feet in front of me as these extraordinarily sexy 18-ish superbabes ingested unending volumes of tobacco into their perfectly proportioned young bodies. At one point, as explained in my “State Fair Girls” story, they even turned around and teased me with their smoking show, smiling at me while exhaling plumes of smoke very near me, which really drove me over the edge.  This was the first time I ever got an erection from watching chicks smoke, but it definitely wasn’t the last.  The girls just kept on smoking like lifetime professionals–as if they were getting paid to do so–and left a mountain of butts in their aftermath.  These images were burned into my mind for months (and in fact years) to come and I would never view the Minnesota State Fair the same way again.

In so many ways, this sighting set the stage for who I am today. Would I have the fetish as bad as I do today had it not been for this erotic experience? I can’t really say for sure. All I know is that from that day forward (and as I said I started college only three days after this sighting) I never missed the chance to watch a girl smoke again.

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MNSF #2. The Best Early Teen Smoker Girl of All-Time Puffing Away With Grandpa

As stated previously, I couldn’t stay very long at the fair on the dreary Friday in 2000 due to a commitment that evening and really didn’t want to stay very long given the weather, but in the final half hour of a day that had already proven quite productive, I scored the most epic young smoker sighting of my life.

To give a little background, I had been sitting at an early afternoon concert by now country music superstar Keith Urban back when he had only two hits under his belt, looking around for smokers as always, and repeatedly saw plumes of smoke going airborne from the direction of this young blond girl, sitting with what appeared to be her grandparents.  I never saw the girl with a cigarette and didn’t expect to as she was way too young and way too Barbie-doll cute.  The smoke, I told myself, had to be coming from one of her  grandparents. But that smoke just kept coming from where she was seated, beckoning my attention repeatedly from the awkward spot where I was seated. I never did see anything, but got plenty of chances to admire the cuteness of this little blond sweetheart even from my considerable distance away.

About three hours later, I was navigating the fairgrounds near the bungee jumping stations and saw a freshly lit all-white protruding from VERY young female fingers.  Instantly, I recognized these hands as belonging to the same girl I saw at the Keith Urban concert, again in the presence of the older couple who I assumed to be her grandparents.  I studied her closely, stunned as I determined there was no way she was older than 13, and may possibly have been even younger. I positioned myself a few yards away from them and watched in absolute awe as this most adorable girl casually smoked in the presence of her grandparents. Decked out in a cute red T-shirt and utilitarian white shorts, with long platinum blond hair flowing all the way down her back, the last thing one would have expected to see was a Marlboro Light approach her young lips, yet that was exactly what I was seeing.

As hot as mother-daughter smoker sightings are, I was witnessing a grandfather-granddaughter sighting (granny didn’t appear to smoke), and in the most public place in the state of Minnesota.  As she watched the bungee jumpers overhead, she jubilantly talked it over with her grandparents the way you would expect a 13-year-old girl would do, with the cigarette becoming animated in her hand amidst her excited responses at the brave bungee jumpers.  And she was no amateur.  Her inhales were deep and her exhales were tight plumes of straight-ahead smoke that sailed many inches in front of her face.  I could feel the blood rush to my crotch watching this, having to sit down to avoid the bulge in my jeans from showing. When she took her final drag, she crushed the cigarette out under her shoe, and for whatever reason it was at that moment it hit me how special what I had just seen really was.

Many of us with the smoking fetish can trace the origins of our fetish back to when we were little boys. The best way I can sell the magnitude of this sighting’s epicness is to call upon readers to recall your jubilation in those late elementary years when you discovered or heard rumors that one or two of your sixth-grade female classmates had started smoking….and then imagine the cutest blonde princess in your grade being the smoker, and smoking publicly in the company of her family!  It was like a perfect middle school fantasy come to life for a smoking fetisher and I experienced it, albeit 10 years later.

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MNSF #3. Brunette Babe With An Insatiable Cigar Addiction

I had just taken my early evening rest at the 2008 Minnesota State Fair, my greatest day of MNSF fetishing of all time, and after about 20 minutes of resting my aching body, decided it was time to begin my nightcap….with some of the best timing in world history. Only a couple minutes later while walking through the grounds, I spotted a cluster of four early 20’s hotties on the edge of the sidewalk after about a block of walking. An attractive long-haired dark blond extracted a cigarette from her purse and fired up, leading me to walk their direction for some further observation. As soon as I was standing in close proximity, I noticed an equally attractive long-haired brunette muttering something indecipherable to the blonde as she looked at the freshly lit cigarette, and then started fishing into her own purse as if to get one of her own. I knew the next sighting was at my doorstep, but imagine my delight when the item removed from her purse was not a cigarette, but a small tipped cigar.

It wasn’t the size of your typical Black and Mild. It was much shorter, only the length of a cigarette, but considerably bigger around. The contrast was striking as the brunette fired up her cigar. She was very feminine with her flowing mane of dark brown hair running all the way down her back, wearing a modest pink T-shirt for a top and skin-tight painted-on light blue jeans to advertise her unbelievable ass.

There were four girls in the cluster, each above-average on the attractiveness scale but somewhat hard to discern age-wise. I would guess they were 22, with somewhat of a weathered party girl look on their faces that could indicate they may have been as old as 25, but definitely no older than that. At the time, it was just the two smokers, but all my attention was on the cigar girl as my subfetish for novelty cigar sightings is even more intense than my cigarette fetish.

Watching her smoke the cigar completely lived up to expectations, as she would tilt her head into the sky after taking a drag, giving me a perfect vantage point as the ball of thick smoke disappeared down into her throat, followed by cloudy and dirty exhalations only a few seconds later. There was no ideal location to watch this incredible hotness unfold, and I found myself awkwardly watching from the side, attempting to act like I was waiting to meet someone yet still be close enough to breathe in some secondhand cigar fumes. Things would not get easier as the girls had a strange habit of stopping at a certain destination,  staying a few minutes, then meandering a half block or so and then stalling out again, meaning my presence would not escape notice. Nonetheless, when the cluster first took off, I delightfully followed right behind cigar girl, and was lucky enough to get splashed in the face with a couple lungfuls of filthy cigar smoke that lingered in the air several seconds after she released them from her black lungs.  The girls, only two of whom were smoking, stopped dead in their tracks again closer to the grandstand area, making my job extra difficult. But the best part of the sighting was soon to come…..

The girls were standing right in front of an anti-meth booth, complete with a display of photos of meth users. The two smokers approached the booth and dragged from their tobacco cylinders of choice, seconds before a teenage girl working the booth approached them with some literature. I noticed that the girl’s eyes lowered as she spoke to the young ladies, clearly taking note of the cigarette in the blond’s hand and the smelly cigar in the brunette’s hand. It’s rare that I see something so hot at the fair that my boy parts get uncontainably excited, but as I watched that brunette exhaling a cloud of cigar smoke right in front of the anti-meth booth, my “excitement” could be contained no longer. Soon after, the bizarre stop-and-go routine continued until they stopped at a corner near the DNR building. By this point, I really had to linger at a distance to avoid being spotted. A couple of the girls seemed to look my direction now and then, but never made direct eye contact, so I’m not certain whether I was spotted or not. I had spent a good 15 minutes observing this crew before the brunette finally finished her cigar, tossing it onto the curb with nothing but the plastic tip remaining.  I had seen all I needed to see, but just in case you think this sighting is completed, I should warn you I wasn’t through with these girls yet. Or is it that they weren’t through with me?!?!?!.

About an hour later near the grandstand, now after dark, I found myself staring down the barrel of a repeat sighting that I had never even imagined would resurface. It was the cluster of party girls from an hour earlier….including an encore performance from cigar girl!!! Amazingly enough, she was in the middle of another cigar. Two of her three female friends were smoking cigarettes, including the cute redhead who wasn’t smoking before and the sexy blonde who was. It was a perfect opportunity to briefly follow them again and ingest some more stinky secondhand cigar smoke, but I didn’t want to risk being spotted given how much time I had already spent watching these girls.   Still, the location was better for spying this time as I sat on a bench near the grandstand about 20 yards away and watched the show. Again I was struck by the contrast between this brunette cutie’s pink shirt, tight blue jeans, and stinky plastic-tipped cigar, which she continued to inhale every puff from. I couldn’t imagine anything sexier, and was overjoyed as the cluster walked away and the brunette deposited her second plastic-tipped cigar butt on the fairgrounds pavement, and I was intrigued watching the large cherry splatter dramatically as it hit the street.

Another hour after that, it was almost 9:30 and I was continually amazed at what I was stumbling into, and nothing more amazing that what I would see next. Walking past the haunted mansion on the busiest street on the grounds, there they were AGAIN! The party girls including the pink-shirted brunette stogie girl. None appeared to be smoking this time so I kept walking around the perimeter of the nearby horticulture building. Ten minutes or so had passed before I made another pass by the haunted mansion to see if my favorite girls of the day were still there. And boy were they. I could see freshly lit cigarettes in the hands of the blond and redhead and seconds after making that observation, what did I see but my brunette sweetheart firing up her THIRD cigar in the last two hours. I made one final pass closely behind her and timed it perfectly to ingest one more exhalation of cigar smoke.

There were so many high points to that 2008 MNSF sightings day, but this was tops, and it was also my greatest cigar sighting of all-time. I’d give my first-born child to see something even remotely like it again.

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MNSF #4. Teen Smoking Krista Clone Corrupts Unattractive Friend And Smokes While She Eats

My 2006 visit to the Minnesota State Fair reached an uncharted level of hotness compared to prior years, both in terms of quality and quantity. I had hit the “sightings century mark” at an astounding 6:30 p.m., at least three hours ahead of schedule from previous years, but the cute 20-something blonde that represented my 100th sighting near the food building commons area was a memory in the mere seconds it took to raise my head and find Sighting #101, a beautiful 16-ish chickie with a mane of long and curly light brown hair running all the way down her back, and an unlit cigarette dangling from her lips.

Immediately sensing something special about this girl, I began to follow her and a redheaded friend who was considerably less attractive. The brunette wore a lovely bare-midriff blouse that exposed her well-toned belly to the tens of thousands of lucky male fairgoers, as well as a tight pair of denim Capris that fashionably showed off her glowing teenage booty and lovely lower legs.

It took about 30 seconds for her to fish her lighter out of her purse, but when she did, she sparked up that cigarette. She took a couple of drags before handing the cigarette to her friend and then wasted no time firing up another cigarette of her own. I got particular guilty pleasure about the fact that this adorable teen beauty was the bad influence on her less attractive friend. From there, the girls decided they wanted something to eat, and stood in line at this stand that appeared to sell little cups of frozen custard or something of the like.

Luckily, the stand was two-sided, so I was able to go to the other side and see through the glass, finally getting a good look at her. She was more beautiful than I previously suspected. Not only because of her astounding mane of light brown hair, but also her flawlessly beautiful face, she reminded me of Krista, the daughter of a woman my mom works with who is now college age. Krista is a nonsmoker, and homecoming queen hot…and this nicotine girl at the Minnesota State Fair possessed facial features cut from identical cloth. It was like a fantasy come to life as I recalled all the times I thought about how hot Krista would look as a smoker.

It only got better as the girl stood up to place her order, unapologetically holding her cigarette above the counter and proudly displaying her youthful nicotine addiction to the world. After receiving their orders, the girls carried their desserts and their cigarettes to the sidewalk, where they quietly sat and consumed a toxic brew of transfat from the custard and deadly carcinogens from their cigarettes. And consume they did!  I sat on the sidewalk across the street and got to see a surprising amount considering the foot traffic between us. The pretty girl went back and forth from eating a spoonful of her frozen dessert to taking a drag from her cigarette, dragging furiously and frequently, sucking the tobacco out of that cigarette faster than I would have expected and producing a cesspool of air pollution surrounding her beautiful face.  She would soon crush the cigarette out in front of her on the sidewalk at the exact moment that her friend did.

No more than 60 seconds had passed before the pretty girl turned around and started fishing through her purse. Could this 15-16 year-old stunner possibly be so addicted to cigarettes that she needed an exciting encore less than a minute after polishing off her last? DING! DING! DING! Every part of my fatigued anatomy stopped for a second as the pack of Camels in her purse was extracted for the third time in less than 10 minutes, and the girl lit herself up again. It was very clear that her frozen custard had quickly become an afterthought, taking a backseat to her obviously insatiable nicotine dependency. She only got a few drags off of the second cigarette before the two of them got up to leave. I couldn’t help but following a little further, even though I’m pretty sure they spotted me by this point and soon realized that I needed to abort or risk being called out for stalking her. As I studied this beauty’s amazing face one last time before parting ways, I would’ve given anything to turn back the clock and be 16 again if only for that evening.

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MNSF #5. Lindsey Tortures Her Teen Friend With Cigarette

In the evening hours that wrapped up my second evening at the 2010 Minnesota State Fair, I scored more than a half dozen blockbuster sightings, several of which are on this list, and the quality of the blockbusters just kept escalating.  I was already on an adrenaline burst before I even stumbled into the most epic sighting of the year and one of my all-time MNSF classics.  Without further adieu, I present you….the legendary Lindsey.

I had spent so long in the same parts of the fairgrounds tracking sightings that I was now long overdue for another journey to the east side of the grounds.  In this case, I found myself at the far eastern gate where I was at the early stages of what would be my best sighting of the day.  This is another one where I need to warn you….hold onto your hat….because you’re going on the ride of your life….

By now, KISS was performing and could be heard virtually any place within a half mile of the grandstand, but I just happened to be in a sparsely populated area near the east gate outside the range of the KISS concert, and was thus able to hear voices in close range, which saved me from missing out on the upcoming sighting.  I was busting pretty good through this east side since there weren’t many people there, but took a quick mental note of a trio of cute 17ish girls who had apparently just entered the fairgrounds at the 9:00 hour.  I took a quick look at them, didn’t think they looked like obvious smokers, and decided I should press forward.  Thankfully they weren’t out of hearing range as I heard one of the girls behind me saying “Lindsey, now we ARE gonna stop sometime because I really need a cigarette!”  I quickly jerked back my head to see an adorable brunette looking at the curly-haired blonde who she just made the request to.  The blonde didn’t bat an eyelash or say a word, giving her the silent treatment, which provoked the brunette to continue pleading.  “Now c’mon Lindsey.  I’m ALWAYS giving you cigarettes!”  Holy shit!  Needless to say, I followed.  I already counted these two as sightings just from that banter, but I wouldn’t be satisfied until I actually saw them smoking.

As I followed I got to make a number of observations.  Remember I said that there were three friends.  The third wheel was a modest brunette who did little to capture my interest.  The other two had me absolutely fascinated.  The brunette doing all the begging was the best looking of the three, with a beautiful wholesome face, long brown hair, a slender body, but a less than sexy red sweatshirt and utilitarian jeans below the neck.  But it was Lindsey the blond who fascinated me most.  She was also pretty, and had those alluring curly blond locks as well as a white and gold top.  But below the waistline was where she really sparkled, literally. Lindsey was wearing a short pair of medium-blue jean shorts that was made glam outlined in gold glittery trim.  Watching that ass wiggle in those shorts I would have killed to have gotten my hands on it.  The girls were pressing forward quickly, with Lindsey sipping a drink she must have purchased just after entering the gate.  The begging brunette seemed to be doing most of the talking, but unfortunately as we moved closer to the grandstand their conversation was becoming inaudible due to the noise from the KISS concert, but judging from the body language it looked as though the brunette was continuing to plead with Lindsey to stop for a cigarette.

It was shortly after this point that I would come across my most difficult decision in the history of Minnesota State Fair fetishing.  As I followed Lindsey and her girls, I crossed paths with a duo that took my breath away.  I looked to my left to see an amazing blonde 21ish beauty in a red top and white shorts holding a white cylinder with a glowing red cherry on the end.  Standing next to her was a long-haired brunette in jean shorts, also smoking.  They were the most beautiful girls I had seen all day.  We’re talking perfect 10s here.  These girls belong in Hollywood.  They were standing in a cluster of three guys, one of whom was smoking a giant cigar.  If only the girls were smoking cigars, Lindsey and her crew would have been a distant memory.  Now…what to do?  These girls were so gorgeous it was crazy….yet the storyline behind the Lindsey sighting was so epic that I wanted to see that play out too.  But was it gonna?  Just because the brunette wanted to “stop for a cigarette” didn’t mean they were going to anytime soon.  And meanwhile, I had these two epic beauties right in front of me who were smoking in the present tense.  Watching Lindsey and her friends walk forward into the crowd, I decided I was gonna try to have it both ways…and figured there was a decent chance I would since the 21ish babes were wrapping up their cigarettes.  I stuck around and observed their last two succulent drags.  Almost in tandem, the girls dropped their cork filters to the ground.  I took one last look at these beauties, especially that blonde in the white shorts.  How is it even possible for girls this hot to exist, I thought to myself.  I relished in this observation for a moment but then had to see if, just maybe, I could catch up to Lindsey.

I raced through the area behind the grandstand in the direction they were headed.  The crowd had thinned down some now so it was not completely out of the question for me to find them, but it still seemed like a longshot.  I was starting to lose hope as I continued my fast pace by the west end of the grandstand….until I laid eyes on that shiny beacon that was Lindsey’s jean-shorted gold-trimmed ass.  I was back in business, baby!  I continued following until they came to a stop at the edge of the midway near the radio station.  It seemed to be a hangout for a lot of teens and young adults not quite old enough to party at the nearby beer gardens.  The three girls quickly struck up conversation with what I assumed were friends they planned to meet there, although I suppose it’s possible they just decided to yuck it up with other kids their age that happened to be hanging there.  I was starting to get nervous as I stood on the curb across the street thinking that this might not play out, but the begging brunette just wasn’t gonna let that happen.  There was a flurry of people that made it easy to lose people in the crowd, but I had an opening to watch the brunette, reading her lips as she said to Lindsey, “PLEEASE!  I need a cigarette!”  She then held up one finger and said “Just one!”  I have to admire Lindsey for being such a torturer, making her best friend beg her for a single cigarette.  You gotta figure Lindsey’s current or future boyfriends are gonna have to work just as hard or harder to get a blowjob out of her.

And then, at least 10 minutes after this sighting began, Lindsey dug into her purse and extracted a bronze pack of Marlboro 27s.  The would-be epic sighting of the night was finally gonna become an official sighting.  Lindsey handed the brunette a cigarette and then placed one in her own mouth.  The brunette looked adorable dangling that unlit cigarette for a good minute as Lindsey got out her lighter, lit herself up first, and then sparked up her nicotine-deprived friend.  As suspected, the third girl didn’t smoke.  Now it was time to watch the show…and the girls didn’t disappoint.

Actually, the brunette may have disappointed a little, at least compared to Lindsey who was a total pro, taking frequent and lengthy drags and spewing generous snoots full of smoke in her exhales.  Sometimes she was thoughtful and turned to exhale.  Other times, she exhaled straight ahead and at least twice she caught the nonsmoking girl in the face.  Other friends were in and out of the conversation, but Lindsey and the brunette were the only smokers.  The brunette wasn’t a bad smoker, but her exhales were less dense and her drags less frequent than Lindsey’s, although I must confess that from that angle I was watching I couldn’t see nearly as much of the brunette.  Lindsey, on the other hand, hacked up a lugie about halfway through her cigarette and instead of the girlish flick of spittle most little girls spit, hers had volume and distance.  It wasn’t a big lugie, but she sent it flying an impressive distance.  And after that, things got even weirder.  She had a strange habit of extending her arm, bending her wrist, and ashing the cigarette, but one time while doing this, she accidentally tapped the cigarette right out of her hand.  At first, I thought she was just finishing up the cigarette, but it was a genuine accident and she quickly picked up the cigarette off the dirty pavement and stuck it back in her mouth.  She wasn’t quite done with this cigarette yet!

The girls became mobile which had its upsides and downsides.  It was hard to lose Lindsey with that ass of hers gleaming, but the crowd was such that it was still a real possibility.  And she kept puffing on that cigarette long after I expected it was at its end.  The brunette had apparently already lost hers, which was curious since she smoked much slower than Lindsey.  But as Lindsey dropped her butt, I found out why.  Lindsey had smoked it right down to the filter.  There was a speck of paper left, but every morsel of tobacco had been smoked out of it into Lindsey’s black lungs.  I took one final look at that adorable ass of hers swaggering its way onto the horizon, aware that I had almost assuredly scored my best sighting of the day.

My mood at this point was all-out euphoria, something I haven’t felt since fireworks at Summerfest 2009 where the smokers were absolutely everywhere.  I literally started running as soon as I reached a point on the grounds that was empty, so much so that some drunk from the beer gardens jokingly shouted out, “No running!”  If you would have told me at 7:00 that my sore feet would have been capable of sprinting across the fairgrounds, I would have told you that you were crazy.

The blockbuster-within-an-epic sighting in which I took an incredible risk paid off completely and I was able to identify three out of the four butts and got to watch all four girls smoke.  It’s a damn tall order for any sighting in 2011 to top this one.

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MNSF #6. The Original Minnesota State Fair Cigarette Molestor

There were no shortage of unforgettable moments at the 2008 Minnesota State Fair, but this monster epic from the late afternoon was one of the high points, not only of this year but of my entire Minnesota State Fair experience.  It was also somewhat groundbreaking in that it was the first sighting where I really took note of the smoking technique of a particularly addicted girl and have found myself studying the techniques of smoker girls more thoroughly as a consequence of the show this girl put on….

It was around 5 p.m. as I approached the grandstand area, encircling the east side of the seating area and quickly scoring two impressive sightings.  But after completing the loop, I was faced with two sightings prospects occurring simultaneously, and am pretty sure I made the right choice…..spotting this angellic-looking 19-20ish dark brunette with long and curly hair exiting the grandstand and producing a pack of Marlboro Mediums. I noticed a badge clipped onto her black slacks and recognized she was a grandstand worker, most likely one of the vendors for the commercial exhibits underneath the grandstand. I hadn’t had a blockbuster grandstand worker sighting since that epic supersmoking cutie in 2000 who was #12 on my list, but I definitely sensed correctly that I was about to have another one now.

She was dialing numbers on her cell phone as she leaned up against a tree right in front of the seating area. She was incredibly beautiful, but did not have a particularly flashy or glamorous look.  Her red blouse and dress slacks made her look a little more professional, but her girl-next-door face gave her a distinctive and heartwarming allure. In itself, that made her a great sighting. But it was her technique that elevated her to another level. Amidst her distracting cell phone call, she dragged intermittently from her cigarette as though it was an afterthought, but the robust drags were nonetheless intense and extreme with an unquestionable aura of pleasure evident on her face. But it was what happened after the drags that intrigued most.

Literally, 7-10 seconds passed where the smoke lingered inside her coal black lungs before the smoke came pouring out of her mouth and nose. Even more amazing was that the smoke kept coming after the initial exhale. After every exhale, residual smoke continued to escape all three of her facial orifices with every breath. Smoke was literally oozing out of this girl like incense from a metal container waved around the church by a Catholic priest during Lent. And it was the same routine with every drag. Deep and intense drags, a period of extended holding where you could almost take a nap and still wake up before the first sign of smoke escaped the inside of her body, and then more smoke spilling out of her gorgeous face for as long as 30 seconds after the original exhale. This struck me as the smoking style of a 20-year veteran smoker coming from a girl who was most likely only 20 years old.

Unfortunately, the performance ended entirely too quickly. She would end the phone chat and quickly retire the two-thirds smoked cigarette, stubbing it out and placing the remainder in her Marlboro Mediums pack to finish off later. Nonetheless, what a huge sighting.  For months afterwards, I would lay head to sleep and see smoke pouring of this girl’s face with every breath. In the years since I’ve witnessed a lot of vaguely similar smoking performances, but none quite as overpowering as this one, particularly since she made it seem so effortless.  When I see a girl this ferociously addicted to cigarettes that she practically molests the cigarette in her mouth and molests the smoke inside her lungs, I reeeeallly wanna have sex with her….and I desperately wanted to have sex with this one.

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MNSF #7. My First Little Cigar Sighting From A Worthy Brunette

I stated previously that 2004 was my first great day at the Minnesota State Fair.  Even in the early morning hours I was scoring impressive sightings, but it was the later hours of the morning that produced a groundbreaking first-of-its-kind sighting for me that I will never forget.

I was breezily navigating an unpopulated east side corner of the fairgrounds when I spotted this adorable 22-ish dark brunette with shoulder-length hair and the most perfect girl-next-door face leaving one of the buildings all by herself. She was dangling something brown from her young lips which immediately froze me in my tracks. At first, I thought it was a More cigarette as she stopped quickly to light up, but the undeniable aroma of cigar smoke that quickly followed the light-up made it abundantly clear that this wholesome cutie just lit up a small Swisher Sweet cigar at the Minnesota State Fair…..

There seems to be a growing “little cigar” trend nowadays, particularly in inner cities, but it was still largely nonexistent in the Upper Midwest in 2004, and this adorable girl in no way fit the stereotypical demographic of a little cigar smoker, yet there she was, holding her stinky little brown treasure at her side as she proceeded through the grounds with an enticing mix of awkwardness and confidence. My crotch expanded instantly inside my jeans and I managed to follow her at a distance where I wasn’t exactly conspicuous, but was still able to smell the awful but alluring stench of cheap cigar smoke lingering in the air after she exhaled. My guess is she probably knew she was being followed, but there was no way I gonna miss out on this, watching her cute little butt wiggle in her painted-on jeans with each step. Here was this girl, exuding femininity with every flourish of her hips, yet smoking a smelly little cigar at the Minnesota State Fair.  I dared not even fantasize about something like this up to this point….

This was one of the only times in my years of fetishing where I was briefly overcome with an animal lust sensation…wishing I could have my way with this girl right then and there with her willing and instinctive acceptance, tasting the fresh cigar smoke on her breath the whole time. After watching her drop her little cigar to the pavement and stomp it out before walking away, I had way too much built up “tension” to carry on without a quick trip to the john to relieve myself. It was the only time a sighting got to me that much that I had to make a detour to relieve the tension.  There were many other moments that day would impress, but this was unquestionably the high point of the day, or of the entire year of 2004 for that matter.

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MNSF #8. Flirting And Smoking With the DJ On Live Radio

Here’s another epic sighting from the early evening of the 2001 Minnesota State Fair, only about 15 minutes after I scored my #16 sighting from this list.  I was walking past this radio station broadcasting live and interacting with people on the sidewalk hovering in front of their booth. This radio station booth has produced a number of great sightings in the years since, but nothing even in the same ballpark as this one….

The deejay on the stage broadcasting live was talking to two extremely attractive 16-17 girls with long dark brown hair who were both smoking cigarettes like seasoned pros. These girls were kind of in the “in-between” territory as whether they looked like smokers or not. I wasn’t necessarily surprised to see them smoking, but I was surprised that they were copiously dragging from their cigarettes while talking to an adult male deejay ON LIVE RADIO….with a cluster of people behind them listening to their banter with the deejay!

And like I said, these girls were no amateurs. Their inhales were deep and intense. Their exhales were thick, extremely cloudy, and came in tight synchronized streams. I watched in awe for several minutes, not necessarily hearing what they were talking about with the deejay but being too mesmerized by their smoking show to care.

After the girls finished their cigarettes, I decided to take off, naturally expecting the show was over, but still making a mental note that this best sighting of the day just might not be finished yet. I walked a quick loop around the block and returned to the radio station booth no more than 10 minutes later….and girls (maybe sisters, maybe just friends, I’m not sure…but they looked quite a bit alike) were still there….smoking ANOTHER round of cigarettes with the same amount of gusto they put into their first round of cigs, and still flirting with the deejay on the air.

I kind of wish I could have heard the discussion to catch if the deejay was flirtatiously scolding the clearly underage cuties for their heavy smoking. You gotta wonder if that deejay had the fetish himself. Why else would he indulge these smoker girls into such a long discussion as they spewed their carcinogens in his direct path? And I also wondered what some of the people in the crowd were thinking watching this illegal display of tobacco consumption by beautiful underage dark brunettes with zero inhibition.  I would soon meet up with my parents en route to an evening concert, but my evening had more than been made after this epic.

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MNSF #9. Only 14 And Blowing Smoke at the Cops

Another epic from the 2007 Minnesota State Fair, and in this case the most memorable 30th birthday gift the fair would provide me that day.  I was journeying towards the midway in the late afternoon hours of that fine day where I would be on the receiving end of my most epic sighting of the day. Throughout the day, I would always see clusters of impossibly cute early teenage girls on the fairgrounds, the kinds of hotties that every junior high boy lusted for back in the day, and every time I crossed such a cluster, I wished that at some point in the day, the opportunity would arise to see just one of them with a cigarette in hand in the year 2007. Well, my time was now…..

A group of four dollish 13 or 14-year-old girls were working their way from the midway to the Heritage Square area of the fairgrounds. Sometimes when there is only one girl, it’s hard to discern if she is really as young as she originally looks, but there were four girls in this bunch, and they were very clearly in that 8th grade age range. One of them, an adorable blond in a red and white striped tanktop and white shorts, had herself a cigarette extending from her fingers as she walked by. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, and proceeded to follow the group of girls en route to Heritage Square.

But the sighting was about to take on an entirely new dimension as the group would wander directly past a parked squad car with two police officers sitting inside. I took notice of the cop spotting the young girl smoking the cigarette, and so did one of the other three girls in the group (a light brunette cutie in a denim miniskirt), who nudged her friend in the shoulder and muttered something to her that was inaudible from my distance, but that I figured was a warning that the cop spotted her smoking. With God as my witness, this blond babe….who didn’t look ANYTHING like a rebel….turned herself completely around a released one of the cloudiest exhales I’ve seen in recent memory directly pointed to the squad car she had just walked by!!!!! The gesture was a thousand times more fierce than a middle finger would have been….and it was coming from this 14-ish girl that looked like she should be a “B squad” cheerleader.  I had all I could do to restrain myself from bursting out into cartwheels.

The group of girls would press forward, and the blond smoker handed off the cigarette to the miniskirted light brunette (every bit as cute as the blond) who warned blondie about the cop watching. The brunette took a few puffs of her own. By this point, I was standing directly behind them and ingesting the headwind of every exhale their young lips spewed, all the while admiring their adorable early teen butts in the respective shorts and denim skirt. As the girls ascended the steps into Heritage Square, the blond (who got the cigarette back after her friend took a couple of drags) dropped it right on the steps. It was a Marlboro Red! These junior high princesses were smoking full-tar Marlboro Reds! Any wonder why this masterpiece is an entry in my all-time top ten??!?!?!?!?  I wouldn’t get another sighting that great for the rest of the day, but it was the sighting that really set the pace for the wildly productive ensuing late afternoon hours.

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MNSF #10. Storing Up on Nicotine Before The Hinder Concert

My first day at the 2010 Minnesota State Fair was fairly unsubstantial for most of the day, but around 6 p.m. in my final hour of sightings before meeting up with the family I scored a monster blockbuster that changed the trajectory of the day and ushered in a very impressive final hour, with nothing even coming close to measuring up to the quality of this dramatic gem that took place in the seating area to the east of the grandstand. ….

Sitting next to a boyfriend was a super-cute 22ish dark blond wearing a white tanktop and a perfect-fitting denim miniskirt that looked adorable on her.  Right away as I approached, I saw a cigarette in the hand of both the guy and girl.  I made a second pass to get a better look at the girl.  She wasn’t a knockout beauty, but very cute and wholesome-looking, a solid 8.5 on a scale of 1-10 who added to her allure significantly with that hot little skirt.  There was no place to sit next to the girl, so I had to sit next to the guy and as a result flew pretty close to the sun having to peer over him to get an occasional look at his girlfriend.  It was worth whatever risk though as I saw that first drag as cutie took a good four-second inhale before I watched the thick ball of creamy smoke disappear into her throat for a few moments, resurfacing again in about three seconds with one of the strangest exhales I’ve ever seen.  The smoke spewed out of her mouth first and the jet of smoke fired skyward while the spillover from her nose came later and fired downward. Usually these “jet stream” exhales tend to combine coming out of the mouth and nose to form one stream of smoke, but with this girl, a skybound stream of smoke lasted a couple of seconds before the second act emerged, a nasal stream of smoke plunging downward.  I would see a couple more drags from her, but none that upclose, so I’m not sure if I just caught her in a special drag or if this is the way she regularly smoke.  Either way, you can’t imagine how much I wanted to leap over this boyfriend, hike up this girl’s cute little skirt, and fuck her brains out right there on the cement slab.

Whatever the case, that was only the second hottest part of the sighting.  The boyfriend finished his cigarette first but within about 30 seconds, girly wrapped up hers as well, stubbing it out and dropping it to the pavement below her feet.  I expected they would soon get up to leave, but my adorable and feminine blonde friend had different ideas as she proceeded to extract her pack of Marlboro Lights from her purse only about 20 seconds later and was determined to keep the stink alive.  She fired up another one, and as I said, I didn’t get a very good view of her drags, but I was amazed at how quickly she made the cigarette disappear, apparently taking pretty deep drags into those black lungs of hers.  The boyfriend did not initially light up another cigarette and was a fairly quiet guy.  The girl wasn’t a motor mouth by any stretch, but she still did 90% of the talking as she pulled out her tickets from her purse and commented on how they bought the tickets in June, yadda, yadda, yadda.  But then the conversation got epic…

The girl told the guy he better have another cigarette because it would be a long time in the concert before they’d get their next chance.  The guy acted like it didn’t matter to him one way or another, but did heed her advice and fired up a second cigarette.  The girl was approaching the end of her second cigarette and continued speculating on the length of the concert.  And that’s when it happened.  The girl looked at her fast-diminishing cigarette and said to the boyfriend “I’m thinking of having another one!”  Are you kidding me, I thought to myself.  Three cigarettes in a row back-to-back!  How much nicotine does one girl need??!?!  Unfortunately, the boyfriend shook his head no, indicating he didn’t want to sit through yet another of his foul-smelling girlfriend’s cigarettes.  What’s the matter with you, man!  ANY TIME a hot girl tells you she wants another cigarette, the answer should be an emphatic “YES!!!”.  This time, the girl took a final drag from her cigarette and dropped it to the pavement still smoldering….

In just a few short moments, the two of them got up en route to the grandstand show.  This finally gave me the opportunity to see what she looked like up-close.  Suffice it to say she lived up to expectations completely, with a petite little body about 5’3”, very nice boobs poking out of that white tanktop, and a lower body framed beautifully in that little denim skirt of hers.  Naturally, I thought her walking off would finally be the sunset to this incredible sighting, but she just wouldn’t go quietly.

The boyfriend was still smoking his second cigarette, but the girl blew me away when she held out her hand and grabbed hold of the boyfriend’s cigarette.  He may have denied her the third cigarette she wanted, but he was gonna pay for that by sacrificing some of his own.  I watched as she finished off his cigarette, not even giving him the option of having a final drag himself.  Where do I find these girls?!?!  She was the nicotine girl equivalent of a camel storing up on fat before making an epic journey across the Sahara Desert. Suddenly, the mediocrity of the hours leading up to this point had become a distant memory.

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MNSF #11. Mother And Early Teen Daughter Sighting Is Throwback To A Better Era

While the daytime hours during my second day at this year’s Minnesota State Fair produced a pretty good clip of sightings, there weren’t many that really blew my mind….with one incredible exception in the mid-afternoon.  The moment that still seems surreal to me months later.  It’s when I saw Sighting #40 of the day, the kind of sighting I thought existed only in the past….the kind of sighting I never expected to see again….

Wandering on the block on the north side of the beer gardens block and looking up toward one of the more remote smoking areas, I would be stopped dead in my tracks one bench before I got there.  A family of three occupied a bench.  Dad wasn’t smoking, but mother and daughter were.  I was taken aback on first glance and kept approaching, and with each footstep it became clear that this daughter was young….and I mean very young.  She had a sweet face, filled with bubbly youthful energy and long straight blond hair flowing past her shoulders.  Maybe in 1990 it wouldn’t have blown my mind to see a girl of this pedigree with a cigarette, even smoking in front of her parents….but in 2013 it was downright unthinkable.  I snapped an early photo that was pretty mediocre as it was from a little too far away, right before she took her first drag.  The drag itself was not one of an amateur.  There were no stylistic flourishes per se but this was not this little girl’s first cigarette.  She and the parents watched the extreme ride in front of them as mother and daughter smoked and all appeared amused as they observed.  It was amidst this backdrop that a third party entered the scene and changed the trajectory of the sighting…..

A father approached the bench with two young kids to take a seat, asking them if they minded sharing the bench.  The family was all smiles, particularly the bubbly young blond smoker who, for whatever reason, was absolutely beaming.  At first I thought they knew each other because the dynamic didn’t otherwise make sense, as this clearly WAY underage smoker girl would never be so casual and uninhibited while smoking in the presence of complete strangers.  But as this father got his first good look at the family he was now sharing a bench with, it became quickly obvious that they didn’t know each other.  He took a second look, and then a third look, clearly blown away as I was at this at the sight of this young girl publicly smoking with parental acceptance.

The smoking part of this sighting had one more dynamite moment for me.  My girl took her fourth (and sadly final) drag that I witnessed of the mostly smoked cigarette, and then tilted her head upward.  Keep in mind that this bench was very tightly packed now with so many people on it, so her exhale was bound to invade somebody’s airspace…and in this case it was that of her overweight, working-class nonsmoking father.  A gorgeous mushroom cloud of smoke erupted from this girl’s still-developing respiratory system and while there wasn’t a direct blast into dad’s face, his nostrils were no more than an inch away from his early teen daughter’s air pollution.  I had all I could do to keep my knees from buckling at that moment.  Unfortunately, the smoking part of the sighting was gonna come to a close at least a drag sooner than it should have…..

I couldn’t hear exactly what the young father with the two kids who sat next to this family said to them, but he was pointing to the bathroom area near the beer gardens and I suspect he said “you know, the smoking area is over there”.  Just that quickly, the smiles and good times of mother and daughter smokers vanished….and the daughter crushed her cigarette out onto the bench and dropped the butt to the ground.  Not a word was said otherwise, and apparently the father who made the comment didn’t know they were one bench away from another smoking area.

But even though the smoking portion of the sighting was done as the daughter was concerned, there were still all kinds of additional revelations yet to come.  The daughter stood up from the crowded bench and continued to look at the extreme ride spinning around in front of her.  For the umptieth time in this sighting, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.  Up to that point, I was being very conservative in guessing that this girl was 15, but seeing her presexualized body in a vertical position, it became clear she was at most 14 and probably even younger than that.  She had no hips at all and just a couple nubs for boobs in her green tanktop.  Her ass had the beginnings of a curvature in a skimpy pair of brown and white jean shorts. I snapped a full frontal photo and studied it again today, and am convinced that this little cutie is only about to start seventh grade!

The father with the kids got up and left, perhaps annoyed that the mother was still smoking.  The final part of the sighting smoking-wise included the mom stubbing out her cigarette and handing it to the daughter to throw into the trash, which she did, adorably leaving her own cigarette sitting on the ground even as she was tossing mom’s.  I was gonna ID this butt if it was the last thing I ever did so I had to wait out the family continuing to sit there.  While waiting, I looked to the right to the aforementioned smoking area only one bench over from this family, and standing there was ANOTHER mother and daughter smoker duo, where the daughter was a beautiful early 20s light brunette in a very feminine light blue dress.  I caught her in mid-drag at one point looking my direction.  At any other time of the day this girl would have been a huge fetish target, but right now this incredible family had me completely captivated.

I made the connection right away as this sighting was unfolding, but sitting here watching them observe the extreme ride, it struck me just how similar this was to MNSF #2, the most popular sighting on my blog and my second-best sighting of all-time.  Now this girl was an absolute doll, but she lacked that “hottest girl in the middle school” IT factor that my 13ish blond from 2000 smoking with grandpa did.  Still, the fundamentals were the same….an unashamed public display of cigarette smoking from a bubbly, long-haired blond early teen who was giddy watching the extreme rides from a half block away in the company of her accepting elders.  I never thought I’d see any sighting of its kind again after 2000, but I should have learned to never underestimate the Minnesota State Fair.

After another couple of minutes, the family got up to leave, never to be seen again yesterday.  Breathless with excitement, I sat down and checked out the girl’s discarded cigarette butt.  A sighting that was a flashback to 2000 up to that point suddenly became a flashback to 1978.  The cigarette she was smoking was a Merit!  I have NEVER seen a Merit smoked by a girl I’ve fetished and can’t recall anybody smoking the brand since some point in the 80s.  Who was this family?!?!?  Whoever they were, they single-handedly made my second visit to the 2013 Minnesota State Fair unforgettable.

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MNSF #12. Grandstand Worker Cutie Supersmokes On A Quick Break

I already cited how despite being the gloomiest day that I ever visited the Minnesota State Fair, the year 2000 produced a few of the best sightings I would ever score and transform it into one of the metaphorically brightest and sunniest days in the history of my fetish.

This was the last year I spent any time at all with the parents going through the commercial exhibit buildings, even though for about two-thirds of my day I went off on my own.  But it was my parents’ presence that gave some yummy context to this sighting. We went underneath the grandstand during the low-traffic morning hours and I saw this one commercial exhibit station peddling some sort of velcro harnesses. I didn’t really pay much attention to the harnesses, but assumed they were for emergencies of some kind. Anyway, one of the three workers there was this very attractive early 20s brunette in a skimpy blue tanktop and well-fitting khaki shorts that perfectly accentuated her curvy bottom. She was showing a customer how the harnesses worked as I walked by and I thought to myself, “She’s cute” and kept walking.

About an hour later, I was walking outside the grandstand by myself, feeling liberated and enthusiastic in one of my maiden solo voyages in search for smokers when I suddenly found one….her! She flew out of that grandstand like a woman on a mission and I immediately recognized her as the girl selling the velcro harnesses.  She quickly fired up a Marlboro Light that seemed to come out of nowhere, and was soon to become the first girl I had ever seen “supersmoking” a cigarette in a public setting. This girl was FEROCIOUSLY pulling nicotine from that cigarette into her black, tar-stained young lungs.

I walked past in a state of bliss, and after scoring that astounding appetizer, I went inside the grandstand building then looped around to the next door so I could go back outside and make the same incredible journey again. I did this three times, watching this girl continue to take intense and lengthy drags from that cigarette every time, always in rapid fire succession. I kept thinking to myself that the filter was gonna burn her fingers she was dragging so hard. After the third time walking past her, I noticed she went back into the grandstand, much as I wanted to see her fire up another smoke.

I almost wanted to go visit that grandstand exhibit so I could have her help me “try out those harnesses”. If the same thing had happened today, I probably would try it. The thought of this girl fastening something on my body ripe with the stench of fresh cigarette smoke still gets me excited 11 years later.  And amazingly enough I still had one sighting that day that would be even better.

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