MNSF #44. Winnie Cooper Smoking In Blue-Speckled White Shorts Nearly Starts a Melee

My leg was starting to cramp up badly in the mid-evening hours of my second Saturday at the 2012 Minnesota State Fair, and while the after-dark sightings weren’t bad, I was pulling for a sighting that would really get the night up on its feet for the final hour of fetishing….and I would get it!

Returning to the beer gardens block, I wouldn’t last long there as a group of teenagers was heading northward and I immediately laid eyes on a gorgeous long-haired brunette with an open pack of cigarettes who was extracting two, one for herself and one for her boyfriend.  Even without seeing her face, she projected an aura of teenage innocence the likes of which I hadn’t seen all evening.  And when I saw her face, her girl-next-door factor escalated to a new dimension altogether.  She was so cute I just wanted to pinch her cheek as she was placing that unlit cigarette in her mouth and firing it up.  But much as I wanted to pinch her cheek, I wanted to pinch her asscheek much more.  The girl’s shapely little teenage posterior was draped in white shorts with little blue speckles all over it.  Here she was dressed in the kind of shorts you would expect to see on a nine-year-old girl and she was lighting up a cigarette.

My hunch is she was 18, along with the boyfriend and the other three female friends, all beautiful and all with perfect bodies and all of whom I hoped would light up as well but did not.  But I must say, this brunette had the most IT factor of the group in an intangible sense, connected largely to those sexy shorts shorts she wearing but also because she reminded me of Danica McKellar, the actress who played Winnie Cooper on “The Wonder Years”.  She truly was that much of a sweetheart, but I must confess I can’t imagine Winnie Cooper taking a nice long drag from her cigarette, holding it in her lungs for four seconds and then tilting her head skyward with a look of pleasure on her face to release one after another stinky exhale.

And so it went, with me following every step of the way, this outlier of a brunette cutie immersing herself in this wholesome-looking friends’ group with cigarette in hand and maneuvering comfortably in their midst while doing so.  After every drag, the same routine of lengthy hold times, pleasured facial expression and then skyward release of a modest exhale coming almost entirely from her mouth.  Not sure if she got the boyfriend addicted or vice versa but whatever the arrangement I’m sure glad fate brought these two together to partake in this stinky habit.  And every time I was getting used to seeing this cute little face spewing cigarette smoke into the evening sky, I’d look down to those white shorts with the blue speckles and was amazed again that teen smokers of this pedigree still exist.

The group appeared to have a destination in mind and they ended up settling at the bathroom nearest the teen hangout.  There was a seating area nearby where the two smokers sat down to finish their cigarettes while the three nonsmoking girls all went to the bathroom.  My brunette finished her cigarette before the boyfriend, adorably, and then proceeded to crush it out against the wooden makeshift bench where that sexy ass of hers was seated, and I marked the location of that cigarette and the cooling embers of crushed out tobacco lying around it rested.  And while waiting I was treated to the brunette leaning over to engage in an extended open-mouth kiss with the lucky bastard of a boyfriend.  What I wouldn’t have given to trade places with him and taste her fresh ashtray mouth at that moment, but if it was me, I’d have had my hand caressing that outrageous ass of hers while doing so.  Cutie apparently decided she needed to go to the bathroom at that point too, leaving her purse behind and taking off while the boyfriend waited.

Much as I wanted to wait, I felt compelled to soldier down the block in hope of boosting my sightings numbers for the evening, so I took a detour that I intended to be brief, ultimately planning to return to the original location and see more from Winnie Cooper 2.0 and her entourage.  However, my detour lasted longer than expected as I stumbled into another impossibly wholesome underage smoker (MNSF #104) who was impressive enough to delay my return to Winnie.  It took me longer than expected, but I did ultimately make it back to my original group, and when I got there, my brunette was smoking another cigarette.  She was down to her last two drags though, which led me to believe the boyfriend smoked some of it while she was in the bathroom and she returned to finish it off as she couldn’t have possibly smoked an entire cigarette in that short amount of time since returning from the bathroom.  None of the friends were smoking, so apparently it’s just her and the boyfriend.  She took a final drag and then crushed out the cigarette, leaving me desperate for them to walk away so I could identify her butt.  But they didn’t leave, and added one more wacky dimension to this sighting as she pulled out one of those small 5-hour Energy bottles from her purse.

She and the boyfriend proceeded to drink from it and when it was empty, showed more of their naughty side when she attempted to throw the empty bottle through a little hole that led inside the men’s bathroom.  It didn’t go in, so she picked it up and threw it again, this time ricocheting off of the wall and hitting a group of black teenagers seated not far from them who proceeded to start screaming at her.  It was absolutely adorable as my little cutie first started running from them as if both embarrassed and scared what they might do.  She fell over herself apologizing but they didn’t seem to be in a very forgiving mood with one girl saying “How’d you like if I threw something at you?”  If nothing else this heated encounter got them out of there and allowed me to identify her discarded cigarette butts.  It was another pale orange butt with the weird lettering on the filter, which I would ultimately identify as a Camel Turkish Royal, making her the third underage smoker I saw puffing on a Turkish Royal in two weeks and wrapping up the 2012 Minnesota State Fair season with a huge score.

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