At some point in the later months of 2015 I was wrapping up my day driving laps around central Iowa’s most upscale mall and happened upon a beautiful mid-20s dark brunette on the final couple of drags of an all-white cigarette as she stood near a bench in one of the mall’s de facto smoking areas outside. I slowed way down as I got close and was dazzled by the volume of smoke pouring out of her face on her impressive final exhale before she walked back towards the mall. The way she was dressed indicated to me that she was probably a mall worker on a smoke break. I certainly had a worthy appetizer from a hall of fame caliber girl but was disgruntled that day that I only got to see a couple of drags. Thankfully, it would only take a couple of months to turn that appetizer into a meal as the calendar flipped to 2016…
I walked through the northwest entrance to the mall one late January afternoon heading for the escalator but before I got there I saw the approaching image of a brunette beauty walking my direction who appeared to be wielding a cigarette between her fingers while walking through the mall. I figured it had to be a mirage of sorts as she was a good 50 yards from the mall entrance and hardly anybody walks around indoors with the cigarette they plan to light when they get outside anymore. Nonetheless, I kept walking her way to find out for sure. As I got closer, my original suspicion was vindicated as this gorgeous brunette with very dark facial features and long dark hair flowing down her back was indeed walking towards the nearest entrance with unlit cigarette in hand. I was about to get my first blog-worthy sighting of 2016!
I turned around and followed her towards the exit, admiring her shapely body decked out in a black blazer and dark blue jeans. She was clearly a mall employee on a smoke break and an air of familiarity about her hit me the instant I laid eyes on her style. It took a few minutes before I realized it was the girl I saw a couple months earlier finishing off a cigarette while driving laps around the mall. And it was her smoking technique that helped me connect those dots once we got outside. Almost immediately after stepping outdoors, she lit her cigarette, briefly hovering in front of the entrance for a few moments before sitting on the nearest bench. The good news for me is that there’s another bench on the opposite side of the entrance where I was able to sit and watch the show. The bad news is that a couple of those goofy black fence posts (not sure how else to describe them) were poking out of the ground directly in my line of vision. I was able to see around them, but photo-taking was a huge challenge. I managed a couple of modest ones where I was barely able to make her out but quickly gave up and just watched the show, and what a show it was….
She sat there indulging in her cigarette with very rapid drags, making me wonder if her fast-paced consumption was simply because her break time was brief or if her nicotine fix was just that severe. And while her quickly paced drags were nice, it was her exhales that really blew my mind. Her gorgeous face was like an incense container, belching out gargantuan volumes of thick cigarette smoke through her pursed lips seconds after the drag. But most impressive is that she never got all the smoke out of her lungs on that first drag….not by a long shot. A moment or two after the first giant exhale she would get extra playful and release the smoke that was left through smoke rings. About two-thirds through her cigarette she provided me the best visual carnival of her performance when, after one of her strong drags, a typically massive blast of smoke flowed from her mouth, was followed by a couple of cutesy smoke rings, and then STILL required a finishing exhale that produced nearly as much smoke volume as the first exhale! How the hell much smoke can one girl contain in her black lungs?!?!?
Most striking about this imagery was the wholesome beauty of this girl’s face, with features so dark I wondered if she had a little Middle Eastern heritage in her. In no way did she look like a smoker, so the fact that she turned out to be the human steam engine that she was really made for a party for the eyes. The twinkle in her eyes gleamed even brighter in the moments where a number of young kids walked past her with their parents into the mall, presumably through the endless haze of smoke she kept exhaling in front of her. She never went into full biological clock-ticking mode but her face still perked up seeing the playful young children in front of her as she mutilated her cigarette. The cigarette went quickly given the frequency of her drags and I cringed when she stood up to deposit the butt into one of those God-forsaken smoker’s poles that this mall installed a few months earlier, assuring that I’ll be denied many a brand ID’s moving forward. I managed a decent snapshot of her walking back into the mall and then followed, hoping to see which store she’d go into. But it turned out even better than I hoped as she didn’t walk into a store at all….
Instead she came to a stop at this kiosk in the center of the mall. She was a vendor peddling some sort of nail care cream right there in the hallway, meaning she’d be easy to keep to tabs on. I watched her immediately open her drawer and take out a piece of gum to disguise her ciggy breath, and moments later she went back to peddling nail care cream to people walking by. It was so cute seeing her gorgeous face as she went into salesgirl mode, beckoning females as they walked by for whatever nail care product she was peddling and undoubtedly still reeking of smoke for several minutes after her return. Luckier yet for me there was a bench on one side of her kiosk and I kept snapping stealth pics until I got a great upclose frontal pic of her to immortalize her forever even if I never see her out smoking again, which was unlikely since I presume she’ll be sticking around for awhile.
I kept close tabs on her the rest of the afternoon and stuck around the mall another three hours or so. I’d never see her smoke again but if my timing between passes was just bad enough I suppose there was opportunity for her to sneak out for a quick smoke in between my laps around the mall, both on foot or later by car. I had hoped to see her again that day but was confident that my dark-complected beauty with the volcanic exhales will resurface later in 2016. And I was right…..
I went back to the mall on the unseasonably warm Saturday in late February and had one girl in mind that I wanted to see an encore of….the dark brunette from the nail product kiosk. I went into the mall and immediately drifted towards her kiosk to see if she was there. A middle-aged woman with similar hair and skin color to the girl I was looking for was peddling the product and I heard an accent in her voice…..and as I got closer I saw my girl was on the other side of the kiosk, decked out in a similar black blazer as the previous time only with black slacks rather than dark jeans below the waistline. From the beginning I thought this girl looked like she had Middle Eastern features but now that she was in the presence of the older woman who was very clearly from that part of the world I expect I have my answer…..the older woman likely immigrated to America, married a caucasian man and they raised a beautiful and stinky daughter who is now in her 20s and addicted to cigarettes.
I did my usual laps around the mall in the coming minutes hoping I’d get the timing right when she came out for a smoke break. And sure enough, as I was walking in through the northwest mall entrance, it was deja vu all over again from the month before when she came strutting towards the door in her heels unashamedly wielding an unlit all-white cigarette between her fingers. Unfortunately, I’ve already become familiar to her and she made eyes with me immediately. I managed to catch my bench from before and watch the show but I had to be more discreet in sneaking my peeks than the previous sighting and wasn’t even remotely entertaining the idea of snapping pics.
What a show though! She smokes very quickly, presumably because her break time is limited and she’s expected back as quickly as possible, but I also figure it’s somewhat related to the magnitude of her nicotine craving. Her drags were fierce and the amount of smoke she produced on her exhales never disappointed. After the initial massive blast of exhaled smoke, there was always a copious amount of smoke that still exited her respiratory system on the second breath, and sometimes I would even see smoke spilling out of her mouth and nose on the THIRD breath after the exhale. She never really busted me but I was definitely pushing the envelope watching her out of the corner of my eye as smoke kept coming and the cigarette got shorter and shorter. In only about three minutes, she stood up and broke my heart by depositing the butt into a smoker’s pole, again denying me the butt ID on what I suspect is a Marlboro Light. Someday I hope to determine that definitively but it wasn’t gonna be that day. I also lamented not being able to follow her closely back to her kiosk and smell how stinky she was without giving myself away.
Now in January, I saw her smoking only once and kept returning to her spot in hopes of seeing an encore which I never ended up getting. Despite her tremendous style, I began to wonder if she was a lighter smoker, but there was always a chance she sneaked a smoke break in between my voyages past her smoking area. Whatever the case, my timing was better in February when less than an hour after seeing her smoke her first cigarette, I turned the corner towards her smoking area and saw her puffing away again. I couldn’t linger this time the way I did previously and realize that this is gonna be a recurring issue with all subsequent sightings of her, but the approach to her bench is a fairly long one so I got to slow-walk the 75 yards or so, and with as quickly as she smokes on her breaks, I was able to see a lot of smoking during that walk with her usual fireworks of intense drags and massive, multiple-breath exhales. I wished I could have stuck around to see more but had to walk on past to avoid completely telling on myself, content with seeing two cigarettes from her in less than hour.
I’d see this girl again 2016 as she was working at the kiosk (or another one her family runs) on a few more days I went to the mall. The location of the other kiosk put her in a different smoking area for the other sightings I got from her this year. It would have been a location where I’d have been able to pull off a fantastic front-row seat on an adjacent bench complete with active close-up smoking pics….had I not already become so familiar to her from my previous encounters. Not wanting to risk being thoroughly busted, I had to get creative and walk through lanes of the parking lot approaching the mall from afar to both watch her performance and continue being unnoticed. Her fast-paced smoking performance and gigantic volume of smoke continued as always, and without front-and-center smokers’ poles at this location as they were in the other, she crushed her cigarettes out onto the pavement here and I was able to definitively discern that they were Marlboro Lights. I never want to get used to the idea that a mall worker smoker girl will be around forever as I’ve already experienced abrupt departures from a few of them, but I’m more confident than usual that I’ll be seeing more of this hottie in 2017.