FCF #11. Hooked On a Six-Second Drag

My friend Dan had been planning to come to the local fair that Friday night in 2009 with a camera in hopes of tag teaming with me on the fetish trail even though he doesn’t have the fetish himself.  But after reading an article in the paper that very day about a guy whose camera was confiscated after he started taking photos of girls on the grounds, Dan considered it a “message from God” moment and no longer planned to come with the camera.  And then he got swept away with minor rumors of rain that never came so he didn’t even bother to come at all.  Left with no wingman, I decided to attend that night’s country concert solo and sit at my favorite spot overlooking the “smoking section” outside the grandstand. Suffice it to say I made a spectacular choice.

The second that I got there I immediately laid eyes on two 19ish blond cowgirls (complete with cowgirl hats) up near the entrance passing a cigarette back and forth. I didn’t press forward with these two yet but make a mental note of them because they figure VERY prominently in upcoming paragraphs!

The highlight of my night came about 15 minutes later, sitting there overlooking the smoking area next to the grandstand.  A pair of guys and two girls, all about 19 or 20, settled into the smoking area. I could see all-whites being inserted into their young lips and could see one of the girls’ faces. It was an above-average brunette. But for some reason the girl who’s face I couldn’t see (her back was towards me) intrigued me most. She had shoulder-length hair that was dyed blond on top but left brunette towards the ends. A flattering red blouse and dark sexy blue jeans covered her backside (just a tad chubbier than some of the more bony-assed chicks in the crowd but very sexy). When I saw her light up that all-white, I knew she was worth the hype as she took the first drag and pulled the tobacco out of that cigarette….and pulled….and pulled….and pulled. The drags were almost cartoonishly long, and it wasn’t just the first drag, it was EVERY drag she took. I timed them out and discovered every drag lasted 5-6 seconds. I figured that cigarette filter must have been burning this poor addict’s fingers and lips something terrible as ferociously as she was pulling from it. The only disappointment was that she didn’t hold the smoke in as long as I would have liked considering the length of those drags. Still, I was seeing something special here. As for her looks when I finally saw her face…..beautiful. In fact, I got a strange sense of deja vu looking at her. I swear I knew this girl from somewhere, but couldn’t for the life of me place where that would be until about a year later when I determined she looked very similar to actress Elisha Cuthbert.

In the midst of her cigarette, two more familiar faces emerged….the two blond cowgirls with the cowgirls hats were back…and apparently were in the same posse as the six-second dragger and her friend (and the two guys). The cowgirls were not smoking at this time, but were posing for group pictures with the two girls who were smoking. The group photos were the only impediment that cut short a couple of my favorite girl’s megadrags as she had to quickly exhale before the camera snapped. In a fairly short time period, she dropped her all-white to the ground and crushed it out (I was thinking how pitch-black that filter must have been the way she was sucking on it). It took at least two more minutes before the rest of her group, including the two guys smoking, finished their Parliament cigarettes and they all headed into the grandstand to take their seats.

It only took about 10 minutes into the concert before the two cowgirls came outside the gate. Apparently they have pea-sized bladders and nicotine-starved lungs (not necessarily in order of importance) as they exited the gate and immediately lit up a new round of cigarettes, took a few drags while talking amongst each other, and then standing in line for the port-a-potty. I finally got close looks at these girls. One dressed up nicely but didn’t strike me as particularly beautiful underneath the makeup, but the other girl was a true beauty, with a much softer look and a seemingly harder-core addiction to nicotine judging by the frequency of her drags. Again, there was a deja vu factor here and I briefly pondered the prospect that she could be the young adult version of the 14-year-old smoker I saw in 2005 (also wearing a cowgirl hat…and my #1 local fair smoker sighting of all-time). I could just as easily be wrong about that as right, but that girl’s image is burned into my mind forever and this girl had some definite similarities. As they stood in line, they exhaled from their cigarettes and the dispersal of the pollution they spewed certainly advanced beyond themselves in the line. The cuter of the girls dropped her cigarette to the ground and crushed it out literally one second before stepping inside the port-a-potty. With luck, the next person to step inside the port-a-potty got the pleasure of ingesting some final remnants of her lingering ciggy breath.

About a half hour later, with the concert about two-thirds completed, here they came again. The two cowgirls along with their friend (and mine), the six-second drag girl with the beautiful face and mix of blond and brunette hair, accompanied by one of the guys from their mix. The less attractive cowgirl got back in line for the bathroom while the other two lit up cigarettes. Just as before, her drags were never shorter than five seconds long. This was a girl whose bloated, hyperexpanded lungs could hold massive quantities of smoke, and she was showing that fact off to everyone looking her direction. The other pretty cowgirl was very good at what she did too, but has to settle for the consolation prize tonight with that nicotine whirlpool of a friend of hers.

I deviated outside of the grandstand about 10 minutes before the show ended but shortly after the end, I returned to the north gate of the grandstand and there they were. The cowgirls, the six-second-drag girl, and the two dudes. Only one (the less attractive cowgirl) was smoking as the other girls stood in line for corn dogs. Much as I wanted to watch them until they were all smoking again, I knew it was out of the question and began traversing the grounds once again, but lo and behold, about 15 minutes later I was near the north exit of the fairgrounds and there the whole posse came, all-white cigarettes protruding from the fingers of the every last one of them, guy and girl. I got one last look at the beautiful face of my favorite girl of the night (and of the 2009 county fair) as they headed towards the fairgrounds exit. Astonishing!

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