Whew! It’s been three days since my Saturday at the Missouri State Fair as I start writing this and I’m still trying to catch my breath. The comparatively rural setting of Missouri’s fair means more limited attendance than what I get in Iowa or Minnesota, and thus I usually don’t get the volume of sightings I get at those venues, but per capita based on attendance I hit above my weight and it’s not surprising given the unusually smoker-friendly vibe of the venue. That was certainly the case on Saturday when I scored 98 sightings, surpassing my 2016 number at Missouri when I got 93 sightings. I would have almost certainly topped 100 but the last two hours of the night were primarily spent on a single girl who seems almost impossible as of now to dethrone as my top sighting of the year. Read on for more details on that one.
I left central Iowa at 6:30 a.m. and got another reminder how far of a drive it is to Sedalia, Missouri. When I get within the orbit of Kansas City, I tell myself I’m getting close. Not quite. I made a point of taking back roads to get around metropolitan Kansas City and likely added another half hour or more to the drive, finally arriving in Sedalia at 11:45. From there, a very poorly managed gate entry arrangement into the fair by traffic cops (seriously, no traffic lights!!!) delayed my arrival another half hour. Can’t complain about the free parking but it sure was more of a hassle to get in than it was in 2015 or 2016. The upside of the bottleneck was that it meant strong attendance. With hot but not too miserable summer weather in central Missouri and an evening grandstand performance by bro-country singer Cole Swindell, some key factors were in place for a perfect storm. I entered the gates around 12:30 with my adrenaline charging. It had been two years since I was last here and I was tickled to be here again, and not in Indianapolis after last summer’s Indiana State Fair disaster.
With all of that said, I was prepared for the afternoon hours to be a grind. They certainly were in 2016 and would have been in 2015 if I hadn’t stumbled upon the “12-hour sighting” of college-age sexpots early in the day who gave me one of the best sightings of my entire life. No such luck for this day starting out that explosively as for the first two hours I had to be satisfied with stitching together a half dozen mediocre sightings that usually involved mothers on the midway, the demographic that seems to constitute most of the daytime visitors to the Missouri State Fair. The first one I saw that was a little bit exciting wasn’t actually smoking when I saw her, but had a pack of Pall Malls stuffed into the back pocket of her jean shorts. Sighting #7 was a long-haired, mid-20s redhead (lots of red and strawberry hair in Missouri) in a blue tanktop and tight-fitting jean shorts that nicely framed her ass pushing around a stroller next to her boyfriend or husband. Obviously I’d have preferred if she had actually lit up but she was nonetheless definitely the best thing going so far.
Even in those lean early afternoon hours, I had a soft spot for the atmosphere at this fair. There was a Weston Cigars booth on the grounds selling quality cigars. They seemed to be busy a lot and actually fed into a few sightings I’d get later in the day, albeit none of them particularly outstanding. And there was a “General Store” near the grandstand selling a number of items, cigarettes included. Name-brand cigarettes were selling for $7 a pack but that’s still cheaper than what discount cigarettes sell for at the gas stations in Minnesota. This General Store would come in to play later in the evening, but my early afternoon takeaway was to recall that the last time I remember cigarettes being sold at the Iowa State Fair was 2009 and it had been years before that since cigarettes were sold at the Minnesota State Fair. It’s fascinating to me the degree to which Missouri stands out for its permissiveness towards smoking.
With that said, it was about 2:30 before I’d get my first memorable sighting on Saturday at the fairly remote southeast corner of the grounds. A family sat on a bench in front of a fair building with some combination of a mother, son, and daughter…or possibly it was a young couple with one of their mothers…and only one of them was smoking…the 18-19ish daughter. Sighting #9 was a ponytailed brunette in a black tanktop and a pair of tight silvery white leggings with a couple patches of see-through netting on the thighs. She unfortunately had a couple of unsavory lip piercings that took away a little of her sex appeal for me, but she was still cute and the family dynamics in play where the family had to sit on the bench for the teenage daughter’s cigarette break was wonderful to see this day and age. And she was really rocking those shiny, bright white leggings, caressing her ass and thighs beautifully in her seated position. Her smoking style was fairly average but I couldn’t get too close given their isolated location, which also made photo-taking challenging. Somehow, I managed to pull off a profile shot of her in mid-drag, and while it’s not crystal clear because of the distance, it’s better than I expected to get. The girl finished the cigarette, tossed it to the dirt, and crushed it out moments before the three of them got up to explore more of the fair, going under a canopy to check out some display and exposing anyone else near them to the daughter’s fresh cigarette stench. I checked out her discarded butt in passing and saw that it was a cork filter L & M. Finally, the fair had some life in it!
Progressing about 100 yards northward from there, I’d come upon the girl who was my sexiest find of the daytime hours. Sighting #10 was a long-haired platinum blond in her mid-20s in a black tanktop and a denim miniskirt, absolutely dripping with sex appeal standing in front of this AAA booth where her boyfriend was inside chatting up the attendant. Both were smoking cigarettes. Her back was to me but the presentation here was mostly exquisite (annoying leg tattoo took a little away) and I took a high-risk rear photo that captures her sex appeal and the cigarette in her right hand next to that miniskirt. I couldn’t do another pic like that but found a bench across the street and watched what I could of the show. She had an annoying habit of fanning herself with a paper fan on a stick that obscured her face whenever she took a drag. I never did get a perfect look when she was dragging but just knowing she was smoking a cigarette in this relatively public spot was pretty jarring. She eventually dropped the cigarette to the pavement a little earlier than I’d preferred but for the same reason that it was hot to see her smoking right in front of this booth it was also sexy to know she dropped her cigarette litter right in front of it as well. I was determined to get a facial pic of this girl because she had the beauty to match the body, and eventually she and the boyfriend walked off and I was able to get a pic of them walking by where the zoom feature helps to get a decent look at her face. That photo didn’t get me, but when I looked back later at the photos to my best pic of her at the AAA stand, I saw the boyfriend was looking right at me when I snapped the shot. Yikes! One of these next days, I’m gonna get laid out for this bold picture-taking voyeurism, and deservedly so, but thankfully it didn’t happen on Saturday. The adrenaline rush is just too strong to hold back. Anyway, I was hoping I’d see this girl again later in the day or night but I wouldn’t. She was certainly worthy of year-end acclaim but, honestly, I didn’t see enough actual smoking from her to justify it.
As I looped around the north side to the livestock buildings, I had an eerie deja vu moment. At almost the same location that I saw the legendary trio of heavy smokers on my 2015 maiden voyage to the Missouri State Fair, here came another trio of college-age beauties, two dark brunettes and a blond, who were just as sexy if not a tick sexier than the 2015 trio. They were all dressed alike in maroon, midriff-bearing tops and tight dark blue jeans. The only problem was…they weren’t smoking. I still snapped a few photos just in case they eventually did and damn did this trio know how to turn male heads. A couple of minutes later they marched on into the horse building so I moved along. A half hour or so later, I saw them again, and all three were now adorned in cowgirl hats to complement their cowgirl image from earlier. I followed them and recognized something in their back jean pockets that wasn’t a cell phone, but my best guess is that it was probably a billfold because it wasn’t shaped like a pack of cigarettes. Still, I followed them down a 15-minute rabbit hole and they went back into the horse building, which made me wonder what was going on in there. Climbing the stairs led to a nearly empty coliseum overlooking a spot where the horses at some point perform. Few were inside and the vastness of the seating gave me a chance to check them out discreetly, but there was no smoking to be found. In fact, all the girls seemed interested in doing was taking a relentless series of selfies of themselves together, on one occasion beckoning a stranger to do several snapshots. This went on a good 10 minutes before I realized nothing was likely to come of this. Considering the fairly limited smoking activity on the grounds in the afternoon, I didn’t find it to be too big of a waste of time considering if they did light up it would a legendary moment that would define the fair season the way their country girl predecessors did in at the 2015 Missouri State Fair. Hours later, I would see them again going into the grandstand for the Cole Swindell concert, still not smoking. Even without the smoking context, I’m glad I got a few pics because these girls were sexy as hell, especially the shorter dark brunette.
Smoker sightings continued to be spotty to the point where I briefly wondered if this was gonna play out like 2017 Indiana redux. I got a nice teaser of greatness, however, with the girl I’d rate as Sighting #15 even without seeing her smoke. Another family dynamic played out with a couple of middle-aged parents, a late-teen brother, and a ponytailed brunette daughter who looked about 21 or 22 walking through the grounds. Nobody was smoking, but the daughter had a pack of Marlboro Reds and a lighter stuffed into the right front pocket of her tight dark blue jeans. The girl had a badass image all around, standing about 5’10” with a pair of sunglasses, a black tanktop, and those dark jeans. Her complete lack of inhibition about advertising those cigarettes on her person really ramped up her sex appeal. Who knows if anyone else in the family smoked but she was the only one openly displaying her nicotine dependency. The family stood in line at a pizza stand and I made a hail mary attempt at a photo. I was surprised going through my photos the next day to see I got a decent shot of this one with the Marlboro Reds pack visible. The photo is darker than I’d prefer, but in focus and you can see the girl head to toe so I consider that a victory. Unfortunately since they were in line buying food I wasn’t gonna wait them out to see if she lit up, so I took off and never saw her again the rest of the day.
It was now going up to 5:00 and there continued to be little rocking my world. Sighting #22 was fairly exotic in that it involved young parents where the father was a white Missouri redneck and the mother was a Mexican girl. Both were smoking while the mom, in a white tanktop and jean shorts, was pushing a stroller with her youngest while two other kids who looked about 7 and 2 were walking to their side. If this girl was a mother of three, she still had an incredible body. Sighting #24 was another couple of young parents smoking together and they walked towards the midway. The mom was a decently attractive blond and the parents were audibly building up excitement in their young kids for the approaching midway rides, a cute backdrop as mom smoked from her cigarette.
And finally, a little after 5:00, I’d get my first rock-star find of the day at a remote grassy area behind a food stand and some “old-time picture” stand where group photos are adorned with Old West-style framings for those willing to pay the price. Apparently two sets of mid-to-late 20s couples had done just that because they were lurking behind the booth, and I’d later discover they were waiting to get their photo. I saw that both guys were smoking which gave me hope for the sexpot blond seated on the grass against this electric outlet box fixing her shoe, decked out in a black tanktop and very nice-fitting medium-blue jean shorts advertising a long set of legs. Unfortunately she wasn’t smoking, but when she stood up, I stuck around just in case because I got a vibe from her, a vibe that grew stronger when I got a better look at her face which, even partially covered by sunglasses, I could tell had some of the typical weathering you see in a late 20s heavy smoker. It was a pretty face too, and while I couldn’t put a finger on it at the time, I thought later that she looked like Kimberly Perry, the lead singer of the country-pop crossover group The Band Perry. Anyway, luck was upon me as she opened up a bag she had been carrying with her and I knew I hit the jackpot when I saw at least three packs of cigarettes, all Marlboros but some bearing the colors of Marlboro Red Special Blends and one bearing the colors of Marlboro Lights Special Blends. Either she brought cigarettes for her whole group of four or this girl was one helluva heavy smoker!!!! She officially became Sighting #26 in spectacular fashion as she got a cigarette out for herself and the other woman (who wasn’t even attractive enough to count), firing it up and then dangling it for an absurdly long period, perhaps 30 seconds…
For some context, the Missouri State Fair has booths everywhere selling $1 bottles of water and I was already on my third of the afternoon at that point. I mention this because photo-taking was a huge struggle as I had to do it with one hand while trying not to avoid dropping the water bottle with the other. I missed the dangle, but I did get a few passable photos, including one of her in mid-drag. They continued to linger in that grassy area for another minute or so before they got the photo they bought, at which point they started moving into the well-populated streets of the fairgrounds. The men had now finished their cigarettes but my sexy blond had just gotten started on hers, treating hundreds of fellow fairgoers to a visual feast of her sexy body and an olfactory feast (even if they didn’t know it) of her secondhand smoke. Dangling drags were a common feature, resting that cigarette between her lips, puckering up and ingesting the carcinogens, and then removing the cigarette before exhaling said carcinogens. The group weaved through some buildings en route to the south side of the grounds and ended up standing in line for a lemonade stand. My blond smoker babe held back a bit near a tree, taking her last couple of drags before dropping the butt and formally getting in line. I was able to check out her discarded butt and pick out the cork filter, ensuring it was indeed a Marlboro Red Special Blend and not a light. I had a higher degree of confidence that I’d see this girl smoking on the grounds again that day than some of my previous above-average finds…and I would definitely be proven right on that prediction!
But before I was, I got my first of four cigar sightings on Saturday, which I figured was entirely due to that stand selling cigars on the fairgrounds. I spotted this decently attractive 30ish dark blond in a blouse and jeans weaving through an obscure grassy area behind a food seating area with a small cigar in hand. Given that she was walking in such isolation, I couldn’t follow as closely behind Sighting #27 as I’d have to preferred and be able to ingest that fresh cigar smoke, but I continued to follow from a distance wondering where on Earth she was going. She made a surprise turn into the rear entrance of one of the open-air bars and grills on the block…with cigar in hand. Such behavior–smoking a cigar inside one of these canopied bars–would be unthinkable in either Iowa or Minnesota, yet this gal was doing it as just an everyday order of business in small-town Missouri.
From there, less than 20 minutes since my Kimberly Perry lookalike had smoked her last cigarette, there stood her group with the addition of another gal who was mediocre but good enough to be Sighting #29, all smoking another round of cigarettes. They were right in the middle of the street amidst the block of bars and grills and it was very crowded so it wasn’t the easiest job in the world to watch undetected but I managed to see a few more of her drags, although this batch more conventional without the dangling drags. They started moving eastbound towards the end of the sighting and I snapped a holding pic of her that isn’t too bad, probably the closest-up photo I’d get of her, although not the most flattering as her head is looking at the ground for some reason….or else to the cigarette in her right hand. Not long after that she’d drop it to the pavement and crush it out like the last one….another Marlboro Light Special Blend butt left to decorate the state fairgrounds. And don’t worry….I’ll still be seeing quite a bit more of her!
I mentioned that I saw a lot of young mothers smoking at the Missouri State Fair, but the one who I enjoyed most was Sighting #34, seated on a bench next to what I presumed was her own mother on the south side of the grounds. She was a mid-20s ponytailed blond wearing a white ballcap, white tanktop, and jean shorts who struck me instantly with her sweet demeanor as she engaged with what I presumed was a complete stranger shortly after I happened upon her lighting up a cigarette. The girl had a face to match the sweetness of her demeanor, although her complexion was a bit off with what appeared to be some residual acne issues. That was not disqualifying for me though, especially after I took the next bench over and saw what she was made of smoking-wise, taking a nice deep drag and then exhaling…and exhaling…and exhaling. The smoke poured out of her mouth and nose in a trickling stream for what had to have been a world record amount of time….possibly 15 seconds worth of smoke flow after just one drag! Nothing quite that nuts would come from the ensuing drags but it was still quite a contrast to measure the sweetness of her face and demeanor with the fact that she was smoking generally let alone the never-ending exhale. I had thought I captured a couple of nice photos but as so often happens when I take a photo to the west during the 6:00 hour, it turned out dark….and crowded as a couple of kids were in the way. I’d get another chance as the mother and daughter were standing up and walking in front of me on my bench, wheeling the 2-year-old daughter as they walked with cigarettes in hand. Unfortunately, I mostly blew that photo as well, only capturing them from the chest down, albeit with the cigarette in the blond’s hand next to those nice bare legs. In the moments to come, I figured by her looks in my direction that she had became wise to me ogling her, so I took off before she finished the cigarette, thoroughly disappointed in my picture haul of this girl when I checked them out the next morning. I’d see her after dark on the midway, once again warming my heart with her sweet smile and sunny demeanor even though she wasn’t smoking this time. This girl had the potential to be one of my favorites had things played out more smoothly but she’s still an extra-base hit after one of the most impressive exhales I’ve ever seen.
The crowd was getting bigger heading up to 7:00 as the grandstand was starting to let people inside the gate for the opening act to the Cole Swindell concert, and suddenly my sightings numbers were rapidly ticking as the crowd outside the grandstand was proving to be decidedly different than the overwhelmingly nonsmoking demographic from the Thomas Rhett concert attending the Iowa State Fair only three nights earlier. But the main event would be going on inside the gate from some of the first arrivals to the concert, the group that included my Kimberly Perry-ish late 20s blond (Sighting #26). The Missouri State Fair has this grandstand arrangement where smokers are allowed to smoke under the grandstand inside the fence, meaning I can hover outside the fence and pick off sightings like fish in a barrel, and it was no surprise that this group was getting an early nicotine fix, and I got there just in time for the bag to come off blondie’s shoulders and see her select from one of the multiple packs of Marlboro Red Special Blends inside of it. I thought I had seen the best dangle off of a light-up I was gonna see for the day on her first cigarette an hour and a half earlier, but little did I know that was just a warm-up act for the main event. She lit up her third cigarette I’d seen from her on Saturday and then let it hang from those sexy lips. And it just kept hanging there…as she played with her hair…as she knelt down to either put something into her bag or take something else out…and as she stood back up. The dangle had to have run at least 45 seconds, at one point about halfway through producing a burst of airborne smoke as she was dragging in mid-dangle. Now I had found a great spot to watch this performance, playing out inside the fence as I watched between two vendor booths, but it was not a good spot for taking photos as it wasn’t close enough and too obstructed by the way the booths were set up….so again I didn’t get any of that magical dangle on camera. I was still walking on the clouds though and watched most of her smoking performance, hoping for more dangling but having to “settle” for her more traditional drags and exhales that would follow. She would eventually finish the cigarette and drop it to the pavement where it smoldered just below the fence. The group lingered there for a couple more minutes, and I changed positions to get a final frontal pic of her. The bars on the fence obstructed her face a little but it’s not bad, showing off her beauty and her sexy, shapely body in those jean shorts. In moments, they turned around to walk into the concert and I checked out her third discarded Marlboro Reds butt of the last couple of hours, fully expecting I’d see her again and that she’d be the sighting of the day. I was correct on the former…but not on the latter. Stay tuned for more on both!!
With the group back in the grandstand, I was now pacing the blocks outside of the grandstand, and between the continued arrivals outside the gate and the smokers already inside doing what my #26 girl and her group had just done, I was ticking off one sighting after another as 7:30 approached. Sighting #45 was a 19-20ish brunette walking with her father and smoking a cigarette while he wasn’t. She was too overweight for me to have fallen completely in love with, but she had a cute and innocent face and it was adorable to see her smoking in the presence of her nonsmoking father. Sighting #46 was just inside the gate and involved a 20-something light brunette daughter and her middle-aged mother enjoying one before the opening act took the stage. Also inside the gate about 25 yards to the south was a trio of two women and a guy, with the Sighting #48 girl being a very petite late 20s light brunette who was the spitting image of my ex-girlfriend Dana smoking an all-white. I only got there in time to see her last couple of drags, but thought I was gonna get an additional reward when she pulled out her pack of Marlboro Light Menthols from her purse a few moments after finishing. Unfortunately, she quickly put it back into the purse and then got up to head back inside the grandstand with the others.
But it would be the next girl in this wizbang litany of sightings who would throw me off balance with an eyebrow-raising gesture that lifted what would otherwise have been merely an extra-base hit into a sighting worthy of the year-end greatest hits package. Sighting #49 kicked off conventionally enough, with an early-to-mid 20s trio of two girls and a guy walking northward, away from the grandstand. The only smoker of the three was one of the girls, a wholesome cutie with her long strawberry red hair in a ponytail resting onto a pale green blouse with tight dark jeans on the bottom tucked into a pair of cowgirl boots. She couldn’t have possibly looked more “Missouri” and it was a hoot walking to her side watching her smoke her cigarette and interact with the nonsmoking guy and girl on both sides of her. I got the sense the guy was her boyfriend but couldn’t tell for sure. It was late enough in the evening that I wasn’t confident about the multiple pics I took not coming out blurry or dark, but I got some solid ones including a holding and dragging pic. Her style was solid but not showing off and everything about the sighting was intriguing without shaking me to my core….until the final quarter of her cigarette when she made her big move which was particularly timely for me for reasons I’ll explain below…..
Her group walked past this Harley Davidson vendor booth selling a variety of clothing with Harley branding. My redheaded smoker stopped right in front of the middle-aged couple peddling the products. With her cigarette hand, the redhead picked a jacket off the rack by the hanger, the butt end of her cigarette nearly touching the fabric of the clothes. Last winter, a video from 1982 circulated the web and the smoking fetish community, an old Charles Kuralt documentary on the rise of the shopping mall, with a suburban Kansas City mall profiled. In it, a 15-year-old girl named Pam who was a stereotypical 80s mall rat (and an adorable one at that) was constantly smoking cigarettes inside the mall, which was common at the time, but I was taken aback when she walked into a clothing store and started taking clothes off the rack with cigarette in hand, which seemed so far removed from the current cultural experience. Fast forward 36 years and I had my own redheaded early 20s version of “Pam” doing the same thing at the Missouri State Fair with seemingly nobody taking exception to it as she was chatting up the middle-aged vendors while wielding her cigarette only inches from their merchandise. And while still holding the jacket, she proceeded to take a drag from her cigarette, exhaling it thoughtlessly and saturating the jacket with a haze of her secondhand smoke. Still conversing with the strangely oblivious vendors (maybe they were quietly shooting daggers at her for stinking up the clothes they were trying to sell), she took one final drag where the exhale wasn’t quite as scattershot before dropping the butt to the ground and crushing it out, treating the Harley vendors’ work area like her personal ashtray. The three of them talked to the vendors for another minute or so after that before pressing on, not buying anything but possibly rendering the merchandise they crossed paths with unsellable because of the stench of the redhead’s smoke seeping into the fabric. It was unbearably hot to witness and I had to wait for the vendors to be distracted by another would-be customer before I could walk past her butt and ID it as an L & M menthol. I never know what to expect from a sighting when I get my first look at it, but never in a thousand years would I have expected this! It ended up being my third favorite sighting of the day.
I was on a roll now and it wasn’t gonna stop any time soon. The most glamorous sighting of the night came next as a group of five girls who looked about 18 or 19 were walking westward from the grandstand, all dressed in their country best and two of them smoking cigarettes. Sightings #52 and #53 included a long-haired blond in a black tanktop and dark blue jeans who was solid on the attractiveness meter, but she was upstaged by the other smoker in the group, whose long auburn hair flowed down her mostly exposed back, with a scant orange top and a denim miniskirt on the bottom. Through her body language, she gave off a vibe of being the group’s ringleader, and I was quick to follow as they headed west. I got to see a couple of drags and managed a couple of rear photos that show off some sweet females backsides even though they’re a tick too blurry to see the cigarette in the redhead’s hands. Unfortunately, the glamour would be short-lived as the redhead pointed to the bathroom as she walked past it, dropped her cigarette to the ground, and then hustled on inside seeking immediate bladder relief. The other four girls waited for their ringleader to return and I was able to swoop in and ID the redhead’s discarded butt as a Marlboro Smooth. Unfortunately that would be all I’d get to see of the smoking part of this group, but I’d see them again less than an hour later at the same bathroom, this time with the other four girls going inside and the redhead sitting outside. It was after dark by now but when the gang got back together after the bathroom break, I got a couple of decent group pics. What an attractive bunch! A couple of the girls who weren’t smoking were just as cute and sexy as the redhead who had been smoking earlier, and I was really hoping this would be a cue for them to light up again. Instead, they marched on over to the grandstand to get into the Cole Swindell concert in the intermission following the opening act. The girls went inside and marched on up the stairs to find their seat, which would sadly be the last I’d see of them Saturday night. I was grateful to see them again though even without smoking, just to reinforce their glamour factor and remind myself that two of these college-age girls were smokers. It was a nice consolation for the group of sexpot cowgirls I saw earlier in the afternoon who weren’t smoking.
The hits kept coming…and so did the redheads and strawberry blonds when another trio was heading north away from the grandstand at around 7:45. This group consisted of a young couple in their mid-20s and a girl who looked about 12. The strawberry blond 20-something was the only smoker of the three, and advertised it with a pack of Marlboro Reds tucked into the right front pocket of her jean shorts. At first I wondered if Sighting #54 was the mother of the 12-year-old but looking at her youthful (and incredibly wholesome!) face, I determined there was just no way. Perhaps she was an older sister. The strawberry blond radiated sunshine and warmth, with very long hair rolling onto a skimpy maroon tanktop with light blue jean shorts and a pair of cowgirl boots. Regrettably this very wholesome image was corrupted some with a misguided leg tattoo, but she was in extra-base hit territory in spite of the tattoo as she otherwise didn’t look at all like a smoker, yet there she strutted publicly smoking and advertising her addiction literally in her hip pocket. The trio settled upon some caricature vendor where the young girl apparently wanted to have something done of her, but unlike my girl who stunk up the clothing line at the Harley vendor, that was a line this wholesome strawberry blond wouldn’t cross as she hovered over to the curb to finish her cigarette while her boyfriend (??) and the young girl (sister??) talked to the caricaturist. She crushed out her cigarette on the lid of a garbage can and tossed it in there before I moved on to the next shiny object.
And as was the case throughout those early evening hours on Saturday, I didn’t have to wait long for that next shiny object. The opening act for the concert, RaeLynn, was now performing in the grandstand so there were fewer people hovering inside and outside the gate, but across the street from the grandstand there was a free stage with a tent and a live band performing inside that was able to be heard even with the grandstand competition across the street. As I approached the seating from the back side, I saw a very odd image of a cigarette held in a hand propped up on the bench where every appendage besides the fingers was wrapped up in a big white cast. It was an attractive 20-something brunette gal who uncomfortably held the cigarette that would make her Sighting #56, sitting next to a boyfriend or husband who, once again, was not smoking. I believe this was a first for me in all my years of fetishing, and I hung around for a few drags as she awkwardly approached her mouth with the cigarette with that right hand wrapped up in the cast. It was the craziest thing, and I figured this gal must really favor her right hand if she was unable to change her smoking routine and smoke with her left hand even when her right hand was all busted up and in a cast.
Once grandstand opening act RaeLynn ended her set at around 8:15, I made sure I was near the grandstand gate for the intermission smoke break crowd, and there was one group in particular I knew I’d see, with one girl in particular. Sure enough, I got to the north side of the grandstand and peered inside, expecting to see the #26 Kimberly Perry-ish dangling queen back at her spot, but she and her boyfriend were actually further ahead in line for the bathroom. Now perhaps smoking is technically permitted in the line for the bathroom under this grandstand, but pretty much everybody I’ve ever seen down there chose to take their smoke break to the gate to spare innocent bystanders from the secondhand smoke. Not this girl! She was smoking while standing in line a good 20 feet away from the fence, and I’m sure there were plenty of people in the line not too pleased to be breathing in her secondhand smoke while innocently attempting a bathroom break. Unfortunately, as the line moved, the girl would end up behind a giant cement pillar out of my sight range, so I took the opportunity to walk away and check out the other side of the grandstand for their intermission crowd.
And the move was a good one. Among others smoking near the south side of grandstand was Sighting #61, a very attractive mid-to-late 20s blond in a dark flower-print blouse and maroon pants. As if her beauty wasn’t impressive enough, that sexy outfit really brought the sighting to life. Since it was after dark there’d be no way I could get close enough to take a photo that turned out so I stood on the sidelines and enjoyed the show. At first she hit it off with a middle-aged woman who was also on a smoke break, even though I didn’t hear their conversation, but within a couple of minutes, two young boys who looked about six and eight who had apparently gone to the bathroom while mom smoked came out and began hovering near her with typical young boy energy. Was she really their mother? It appeared so to which I could only say “way to go mom!” because she was beautiful with a very nice body. Before the intermission ended about 10 minutes later, I came back to that spot and the blond was smoking another cigarette while chatting playfully with her sons. I wish I could have been closer-up to hear the conversation, but it was a really solid extra-base hit sighting.
In between the two sightings of the blonds, I headed back towards the south side of the grandstand and came upon a sighting where I did hear some excellent conversation that gave life to an already-hot sighting. A wholesome early 20s girl with auburn hair was sitting next to a guy I assumed was her boyfriend, both of them smoking in the company of a middle-aged couple who was also smoking. Sighting #63 already captured my eye with her wholesome face and conservative blouse and medium-blue jeans, but she captured my ear as well when she was conversing with the older couple who were apparently complete strangers, telling them, “He’s like a little brother to me. He’s 19 and I am just about to turn 22.” Wow! Interesting details that added a new dimension as they puffed away on their cigarettes. This was not a good location for me to hover without being detected so I had to settle for three drags before I had to move on, but a couple of hours later, after the concert, I’d see this girl again on the block of bars that populate the fair’s night life, and she was smoking another cigarette. Of all of the girls of the evening who was smoking, she was one of the least likely.
And again, in between her two sightings and still during the intermission of the concert before the main event, I walked to the north side of the grandstand a final time and the Kimberly Perry blond who had been smoking in the line for the bathroom less than 10 minutes ago was now back smoking AGAIN in the location I predicted she would in the first place. I was able to stay for most of her cigarette but she and the boyfriend looked my way as if I was looking a little familiar by that point in the evening, so I had to cut it short before completion, unfortunately without seeing any more world-class dangling, and I wouldn’t see her again for the rest of the night. But it was a five-cigarette sighting with her over the course of a little over three hours, and judging by the multiple packs she brought with in her bag, I’m betting she smoked far more than that during the time she was at the fair on Saturday. I was pretty certain she’d be the big story of the day at the Missouri State Fair but shockingly she ended up only being the second-best of the day. My favorite was still to come!
Cole Swindell took the stage at around 8:45 and, unlike Iowa, one can simply hang out by the fence south of the grandstand and peek in through the chain-link fence to see the projector screen of the performer singing. I figured it would be worth my time to head over there and see if any of the spillover crowd was smoking. Sadly I got there just in time for the final drag of this dark-complected early 20s brunette in a flower-print summer dress before she dropped the cigarette to the ground and crushed it out. My Sighting #68 girl was very wholesome and didn’t strike me as a smoker looking at her, while the guy standing next to her who I assumed was her boyfriend was still smoking. He made his cigarette last another three minutes or so and I kept hoping the girl would ask him for a drag since she had already finished hers, but she didn’t. And while this was playing out in front of me, I smelled a whiff of cigar smoke behind me and turned to see this attractive 30ish brunette taking a puff off of a pretty big cigar, another one likely purchased at that cigar store on the grounds. Unfortunately, Sighting #69 handed the cigar back to a guy in her group who retained ownership of it for the next few minutes as I waited. I had pretty good luck with timing on Saturday, but with these two sightings, I only managed a peek at what could have been extra-base hits. I left for a while but returned only about 10 minutes later. Both young ladies were still there but neither was smoking, and it would be the last I’d see of them for the evening.
I migrated back to the street just west of the grandstand where plenty of the smoking I’d been seeing Saturday night played out. Doing so last night I saw one of the youngest girls of the evening in a mixed-gender huddle of teens, a very pretty dark brunette who I spotted with a cigarette from afar and then swooped in for a closer look. When I got there, I noticed her ass was pretty jumbo-sized and that took a little away from Sighting #70, but she was young enough and pretty enough that I remained interested enough to stick around, and I’m glad I did. I’d guess she was 17 or 18, which was consistent with the company she was keeping as they stood quietly listening to the concert from the street, decked out in a white T-shirt and dark blue jean shorts that I must say she wore pretty well even though she had more junk in the trunk than I personally preferred. I was able to hover to her group’s right and not draw too much attention to myself watching her smoke, and it was a pleasure as she took well-paced and indulgent drags, releasing beautiful plumes of smoke in front of her face that traveled in a straight line, often into the immediate airspace of her nonsmoking friends. I was able to see her smoke almost the entire cigarette before she crudely chucked it to the pavement a few feet in front of her where it smoldered to its demise. I wouldn’t get a butt ID of this one as the group lingered in this spot, but I would return only 15 minutes or so later and see the same girl was smoking another cigarette. This had already occurred to me earlier in the evening, but I was at this point very, very glad that I wasn’t at the Indiana State Fair this weekend.
The hits kept coming as I walked northward and saw a series of benches where another young couple was smoking, including a mid-20s brunette in a flattering white blouse and jean shorts. There was no good vantage point to watch Sighting #71 play out frontally but there was open space on the bench right next to her, and I took it. This would not prove to be optimal as she then proceeded to hold her cigarette hand over the right edge of the bench, presumably to spare me of her secondhand smoke (if only she knew!) and only if I turned her way when she was sneaking a drag would I notice. This was hard to pull off and the best I could do was catch a couple of her cloudy exhales after the drag. I could determine from this close distance that she was very pretty, however, and that her legs were great coming out of those pale blue jean shorts. She finished the cigarette at around the same time a middle-aged woman wheeled up with a stroller. I assumed she was the grandmother and my brunette smoker was the mother as she made some gestures to the child. The couple then stood up and briefly mingled with the grandmother, allowing me to admire her ass in a standing posture just in front of me. I attempted a photo but, as expected, it didn’t turn out due to the evening lighting, and before long I took off.
I then made my best decision of the fair season when I headed down that block of bars to its eastern edge. Standing there was a reasonably attractive early 20s light brunette in a tanktop and jeans chatting with her presumed boyfriend and holding a small cigar in her hand, making her the third girl I’d seen at the fair with a cigar on Saturday, and Sighting #72 overall. She was cute enough that I wanted to see (and smell) some of her cigar smoking and had a convenient place to hover not far away. Unfortunately a couple of minutes ticked by and she was immersed entirely in either a conversation with her boyfriend or with texting, and I was genuinely annoyed when she then looked to the cigar and lifted her shoe to stub it out on the bottom. I hadn’t spent a lot of time on her but it was still a pain that I didn’t see or smell a single drag from her. But everything happens for a reason, and in this case, that short-circuited cigar sighting would lead me to something incredibly special as I progressed towards the bathroom area just to the south.
I’d traveled about 10 yards from the source of the last sighting when this tight rear package graced my eyes and I thought to myself “Damn! Now that’s a backside!” as I scanned this young female in a huddle with two guys, one of whom was smoking. A layer of thin, pale blue denim wrapped itself around the perfectly sculpted bubble butt of this blond like Press ‘N’ Seal plastic wrap, unforgivingly clutching her ass in a way that seemed incredibly uncomfortable. I’d seen a handful of teen girls over the course of the fair season wearing shorts that fit like this, and had always thought to myself how great it would be to match that image with a girl smoking a cigarette. I looped around the huddle to get a look at the girl, who looked about 17 or 18, not glamorous and not gorgeous but the personification of everygirl Midwestern wholesomeness. I didn’t give her a second thought as I pressed forward to the bathroom area in case any smokers were lingering there. When I saw nothing, I doubled back the direction I came from and nearly lost my footing when I watched the teen blond with the incredible ass place a cork filter cigarette in her mouth and light up. At first, I figured I would struggle to find a good position to watch Sighting #73 play out, but one of the guys in her group said he was gonna walk up to the nearby beer vendor and the girl followed. What??!?! There was no possible way this girl was 21, I thought to myself! I was right on that and would get confirmation later on, and partial confirmation now as she stood up there at the beer vendor waiting on this older guy to buy one, and presumably, chat up the vendor as he did. And now I was able to hover in the background and relaxedly enjoy the show…..
There was a fan running inside the beer booth as the teen smoker stood there, her long blond hair whipping with the breeze and distracting me for a moment until I realized the cigarette was parked right there in her mouth where it dangled for a good 20 seconds. By now the guy in her company had finished his cigarette, but this smelly teen was standing right up there with a fan spreading around her cigarette smoke every which way for people inside and outside to choke on. She removed the cigarette and held it to her side after that extended no-purpose dangle but for some reason continued to linger there. Maybe she knew the beer vendor and was chatting with him in the presence of this older guy. I have no idea, but it allowed me to watch her smoke about two-thirds of the cigarette before she got moving. I had to follow but was taken aback when she started really boogeying eastward past the block of bars, separating herself from the crowd and allowing me a little less risk as I followed since she was walking alone. It was a special treat to see her move so fast in those ridiculously tight shorts, with every movement of her ass putting at risk the structural integrity of that fragile denim. It was a challenge to keep up with her though as she maneuvered through the large crowd, cigarette at her side which she continued to drag from. I figured that cigarette had to have been down to the filter when she finally dropped it to the pavement, pressing forward without crushing it out. Indeed, when I got there, I couldn’t make out the brand because it had been smoked to the edge of the cork filter. I couldn’t help but continue following her. I mentioned before that there was a free stage across the street from the grandstand playing live music, and my blond teen smoker boogied right on up into there and stopped when she got to a little old lady sitting in a wheelchair, taking to the old lady with her fresh cigarette breath? WTF? I’d get more context on this later…and believe me, there will be a later.
I was feeling pretty good after that one, recognizing it would be one of the better moments of the day but not prepared to consider it a first-ballot Hall of Fame inductee. I had told my parents I’d give them a ring towards the end of the concert to let them know how my travel plans were going, so I walked to the north side of the grounds away from the music where I could hear them on the phone. The conversation lasted just a few minutes and it started to sound like Cole Swindell was winding down in his concert, so I hustled on back to the main stretch in front of the grandstand to see if I could find any nicotine-deprived concertgoers cutting out early. Doing so I caught a young couple who looked about 20 or 21 where the petite, slender, and adorable blond girl was smoking a freshly lit all-white. Sighting #75 was another wholesome cutie and while it would be kind of awkward hovering to watch the show as they loitered in front of a vendor booth, I had to stay for at least a couple of drags. I’d only get to see one as she took a single drag and then pitched the barely smoked cigarette to the ground before heading off with the boyfriend who was still smoking. Methinks she wasn’t a regular smoker. I nonetheless checked on the butt in passing, and it was a Camel Crush.
My disappointment was very short-lived, however, because a familiar face with a familiar posterior was suddenly walking in front of me with a middle-aged woman who was clearly her mother. I had assumed the most heavenly sight in the world to behold was her ass in those painted-on jean shorts but I was wrong as there was at least one thing more heavenly to behold….her ass in those painted-on jean shorts with a pack of Marlboro Reds poking out! This perfectly wholesome-looking Midwestern blond was now cutting into to the area overlooking the stage outside the north end of the grandstand to see what was left of the Cole Swindell concert. Considering the concert was soon to get out, presumably with stacks of sightings on the immediate horizon, I was really taking a risk as I followed mom and daughter to see if I could get more, but this risk felt like the right one with the potential for a tremendous reward. I stood to the left of the mother and daughter admiring the daughter’s outrageous ass and taking a few photos standing there, with the lighting being just sufficient to where the pics turned out decent without considerable blurring. She had pushed the pack of cigarettes down so they were no longer peek-a-booing out of her pocket, but standing there listening to Cole Swindell’s encore it continued to feel like I was in the right place for something magical to happen…..and then it did! After about two or three minutes, I noticed the mother was lighting up a cigarette. I had about two seconds to let the momentum build in my chest before the daughter started reaching into her shorts pocket to dig out a cigarette of her own. Unfortunately right when she was lighting up, other people started walking into the area and killing my chance for a light-up photo but I certainly saw it and had all I could do to contain my excitement watching this teen girl smoking with her mom and they both sung along to the music….
The concert was just officially ending and mother and daughter were progressing back onto the street, shamelessly smoking their cigarettes for any and all to see with the huge crowd about to pour out of the grandstand en masse. I alluded before to the “General Store” selling a number of items including cigarettes and saw the two of them strutting right up to it. I even managed to get a couple of pics of the daughter dragging, even though they turned out too blurry to fully appreciate. They waited briefly in line before it was their turn, with mother and daughter walking right on up, both continuing to smoke their cigarettes and having zero inhibitions about it. It was surreal watching the daughter pull the cigarette up to her mouth and exhale slightly to her side, making just the slightest attempt to spare a vendor from her secondhand smoke…mind you, this being the second vendor she’s asphyxiated with cigarette smoke in just the last 20 minutes! I was really hoping they’d buy more cigarettes as this was the vendor selling them, but all I could see that was purchased was a bottle of water for the daughter, reaffirming my suspicion she was a teenager well under drinking age. As they walked away and weaved through the crowd en route to the seating for the free stage where they emerged from about 10 minutes earlier, it struck me that this was likely going to be my best sighting of the 2018 fair season. The daughter walked on up to the back edge of the standing crowd and took a final drag from her cigarette before dropping it to the pavement, and just like last time, she didn’t bother to crush it out, leaving it to smolder where it laid. She smoked the last one to the filter so I didn’t know she was smoking Marlboro Reds until I saw the pack in her back pocket, so looking at the cherry burn there below my feet I knew which brand it was this time. The two stinky ladies sat back down where at the table where they sat before, amidst a huddle of other presumed family members, including that old lady in the wheelchair who was still there. Content that this sighting had played out, I now had to head off and check out that departing grandstand crowd….
And while I ticked off several more quality sightings in just a few minutes as I ventured off, I was so on the clouds thinking about that mother-teen daughter sighting that not much else was really breaking through mentally. Sighting #76 was a cute early 20s long-haired blond who was the only smoker in her group of three standing outside the grandstand. Had I seen this girl two hours earlier, she would have been one helluva find. Now she had kind of been relegated to elevator music as I enjoyed a couple of quick drags from her….
Sighting #78 was a cute 21ish brunette walking west into the crowded block of bars with a cigarette in hand and a nonsmoking boyfriend to her right. She looked like she’d had more than a few drinks in her and I hope she wasn’t planning to do any driving, and it was adorable as she walked with her cigarette hand jerking around a bit, narrowly avoiding burning several fairgoers passing close by her in this mass of post-concert humanity. I followed her till she finished the cigarette, pleased with the performance, but my mind was still on that damn teen blond!
And best of all on this stretch, on the west end of the crowded bar block, was a trio that included a young guy and girl in the presence of a blond with braces who was clearly in her mid-teens. The young girl wasn’t smoking but the older couple was, and honestly the older girl looked young enough that at first I figured she might have been the same age as the mid-teen girl, but was dispelled of that notion when I noticed the beer in her hands. Sighting #80 had long auburn hair decked out in a striped white and black bare-midriff top with a pair of tight medium-blue jeans on the bottom. She was smoking an all-white and the crowd was so densely packed I was able to just stand there without arousing too much suspicion watching her take some nice drags and I was taking some daring photos that I figured might turn out okay. Only one photo even took and it was poorly centered and didn’t show her face, so that was a big fail. But she put on a very nice smoking show that I stuck around to watch in its entirety. When I ventured this way again about 20 minutes later she was actually smoking another cigarette along with the guy in her group, setting such a great example for that mid-teen in braces who will hopefully be smoking with them when I make my next visit to Missouri.
Yet for the entire 10 minutes or so that I was away, my heart was still at that free stage seating area where I knew a sweetheart of a teen smoking blond was sitting there with her family. It was time to go back…just in case. And so I did, settling into the where the family sat and being startled to see the mother and a couple others in the party already smoking more cigarettes. I looked the daughter over good hoping she was smoking another too, but at least for now she wasn’t, still nursing that bottle of water she bought at the General Store. I figured if I waited long enough there was a very good chance she’d light up again, but things then got complicated as her phone was lighting up and she soon stood up to talk to the old lady in the wheelchair again, who clearly appeared to be her grandmother, presumably bidding her adieu for the evening as she was meeting up with friends. She got up and was walking in an odd circle as if looking for the friends but ended up returning to the seating area as though they didn’t show up. I continued to hover at the seating area for a few more minutes waiting for her to light up again, but ultimately screwed up. I figured I’d make a quick pass down that block of bars but be sure to get back there in two or three minutes, so if blondie had lit another cigarette, I’d still be able to see her smoke most of it. Indeed, I was only gone for a couple of minutes, but when I returned the blond had flown the coop. I realized I screwed up royally and walked all over in the immediate area seeing if I could find her. But I didn’t. I was furious with myself for taking this pointless risk and betting against a sure thing. And I was running out of time because it was almost 11:00 now and I wanted to get out of there around 11:30.
Meanwhile I was ticking away a few more sightings as 11:00 approached, but not much was sticking since my mind and soul were still attached to the teen smoking cutie with the unbelievable ass. I would get my final of the four cigar sightings of the day as an early-to-mid 20s brunette in a green top and pale blue cutoffs was strutting through the grounds with a small stogie between her fingers in the presence of three nonsmoking friends. I was able to walk behind Sighting #84 and finally breathe in some secondhand cigar smoke as she took a couple of puffs, but then the group migrated in to this very dark and isolated spot in between two buildings where I couldn’t possibly follow at this hour of the day without them knowing I was following them. So that sighting got shortened.
I was stringing together some decent sightings but nothing overly memorable in light of what I had just seen so I figured I’d make one more loop through the midway and call it a night, as I wanted to get some fast food before they closed at midnight and get some sleep before a long day of driving coming up the following day. I did just that and was mentally checked out for the night right around 11:30, heading past the block of bars one final time and hoping to check off a couple of quick, final sightings on my way to the exit. But whether she knew it or not, a certain fairgoer wasn’t gonna let me leave just yet. I made it about halfway up the block of bars when I spotted the sweetheart blond in those impossible-to-miss painted-on jean shorts with a mixed-gender group of four friends who all looked 17 or 18. As she walked past me, I knew my night would have one additional act. I grimaced with regret as I checked out her ass and saw the pack of Marlboro Reds was now stuffed in her right back pocket rather than the left where it had been, suggesting I probably missed at least one cigarette in the half hour or so since I lost track of her. I quickly picked up on the fact that she and one of her girlfriends got separated from the other girl and the two guys, and they briefly had a look of confusion on their faces until blondie looked back and finally identified her departed friends several yards behind. The purest and most innocent giggle emerged from blondie as her group reconnected, the kind of giggle that made her seem even younger than I suspected she was. The group of five pressed forward into the midway from there and I followed, hopeful but not confident, believing that I missed my chance during that period of separation. But my fears were assuaged only a few yards into the midway when that pack of Marlboro Reds was extracted from her shorts pocket. I was overcome with excitement as I watched her take out a cigarette and her lighter from the pack, but I couldn’t have possibly imagined how great her third chapter would be…
The carnival lights were briefly overshadowed by the flicker of blondie’s lighter as she brought yet another Marlboro Red to life. She crammed that pack back into her left ass pocket, and every time she put those cigarettes in and out of her shorts pocket I held my breath in fear that the slightest provocation would stretch the shorts beyond their limit, ripping them to shreds and getting her arrested for indecent exposure! As a plume of smoke flowed from her mouth after the exhale, a guardian angel emerged from the sidelines. A carnival worker saw her with the cigarette and shouted, “Are you underage?” as she walked past. She turned around with that classic look of teenage girl exasperation every bit as age-appropriate as her giggle two minutes earlier. “No!” she shouted back, her cigarette animated in her right hand, “I’m 18!” she continued as the carnival worker apologized and then said “We’re supposed to ask”, apparently indicating the carnival workers are de facto teen smoking cops at the fair. That was depressing generally, but wonderful for the added context of this incredible sighting. With the confrontation settled, blondie pressed forward through the midway, casually dragging from her cigarette with a steady litany of timely and quality drags, the cherry glowing and her cheeks hollowing every time she pulled in smoke. As for her exhales, suffice it to say she wasn’t any gentler to her nonsmoking friends than she was to those adult men at the beer vendor booth or the General Store booth who choked on her secondhand smoke earlier in the night. In fact, her next exhale drifted right in the face of a petite brunette friend, who proceeded to use her phone to wave the mess of smoke from her face that blondie just exhaled, a look of annoyance on her face that she failed to pass on to the smoker responsible for her discomfort. As for the guy who was walking closest to blondie, he got his even worse. She was slightly in front of him when she took another quality drag, exhaling the snootful of smoke that proceeded to flow directly into his face and absolute plaster him. Unlike the girl, he didn’t respond at all. If he has a brain in his head, he loved every nanosecond of it….
The group was now at the back of the midway and looping around to the other side, with still more than half of blondie’s cigarette left. I had been nervous that she was knew I was following at various points in the night, but she and her friends now seemed oddly oblivious and I was following fairly closely and I don’t think they had a clue I was taking it all in. Being so close, I couldn’t help but get some final admiring glances in at that ass so snugly contained in those shorts. They were so short that as she walked, there were several occasions where I could see “above the fold”, the bottom centimeter or so of her asscheek before it transitioned to upper thigh. You see a lot of girls tugging at their shorts from time to time, but this girl was doing it constantly. It was clearly an endless struggle for her to dislodge the repeated wedgies that her shorts were giving her just by walking or even by standing still. The sacrifice she was making to look sexy as hell was paying off in spades for me, but there was no sacrifice at all on her part in terms of the sex appeal that her smoking provided because it was clearly all pleasure for her. She was in the final throes of her cigarette as I followed her group into a more crowded part of the midway, but she was still as carefree as ever in terms of where she took a drag and where she released the exhale. Finally, she took a final drag and flippantly tossed the butt to the ground again…of course failing to crush it out. This girl laughs in the face of crushing out her polluted cigarette butts, and as I walked past the still-glowing cherry on what little was left of that cork filter Marlboro Red, my heart was as full as her lungs were….
I picked up my pace and took one last look at her ass and then one last look at her face before wandering off entirely, realizing I had seen the real-life version of the idealized sighting I’d been hoping for every time this fair season that I saw an innocent-looking teenage girl in such outrageously tight and short shorts. Here was an 18-year-old girl who over the past couple of hours has comprehensively showed me that she can and does smoke a cigarette wherever and whenever she damn well pleases, in front of family, friends, and complete strangers. We’re nearly a generation removed from a time when that kind of smoking behavior would have been considered normal, especially for a girl of such a wholesome-looking pedigree. And I couldn’t help but wonder how young she started and how long she’s openly smoking in front of family and friends. Just try to top this sighting for the remainder of the 2018 fair season, I thought to myself, setting the bar extraordinarily high for next week’s Minnesota State Fair.
It was now 11:44 and I had to boogie to get out of there and get some fast food before midnight. I would have loved to linger on the block of bars but had to hustle right on through, picking up two additional sightings, one of a very cute mixed race girl who looked about 18 or 19 who was Sighting #97, and lastly, an early 20s sexy blond in white cutoffs who was my Sighting #98 and final sighting of the night. It killed me to have to blow past her after watching just a single drag because blonds in white shorts are pretty much my sighting ideal, but I was starving and committed to getting those Burger King chicken fries before midnight. I booked it on through the vast expanse of territory between the fair gate and my car, pulling out of the fairgrounds lot and into the Burger King parking lot by 11:58. But then I discovered it was all for nothing because they were open another hour. I was kicking myself for not staying at the fair and seeing more from blondie, knowing she probably smoked more cigarettes before she left. Still, I was flying high as a kite at the end of my third visit to the Missouri State Fair, and needless to say, sleep wouldn’t come easy that night.
And so it went….my most comprehensive day at the Missouri State Fair yet. Granted, 2015’s 12-hour sighting trio may still retain the top of the pyramid in terms of a single sighting, but they were the only game in town that year worth mentioning whereas I got a ton of extra-base hits in Sedalia this year, complete with the kind of unforgettable individual sighting that makes all these weekends of fairgrounds fetishing worthwhile. And it didn’t even hit me till nearly the end of the night when I saw a single teen Juuling that there was very little overall vaping or Juuling over the course of the day. That surprised me a bit since in 2015 and 2016, Missouri seemed a little bit ahead of the curve on vaping, so it was pleasantly surprising to see most young females getting their nicotine fix from cigarettes, and I’m sure the comparative low cost of Missouri cigarettes plays a significant role in that. The dilemma now will be whether I can hold to my original plan of only going to Missouri every two years, incorporating it into a broader vacation plan in the generally southern direction from Iowa as I did this year and in previous years. Next year, my plan was to vacation a different direction and just attend another Saturday at the Iowa State Fair for that third weekend in August fair fix. I guess I’ll decide during the off-season and perhaps decide last minute based on the weather forecast and the quality of grandstand entertainment as it was pretty clear that Cole Swindell was more responsible than anybody else for my big night.
I have two weekends left of fair fetishing, both at the Minnesota State Fair which remains dearest to my heart and, given the blistering attendance numbers, remains the single best venue on the planet for sightings despite the general antismoking culture in Minnesota. I can’t necessarily assure quality, but I can pretty confidently assure the most prolific numbers of sightings in the two weekends at Minnesota than any of my previous venues. In all of these years, I’ve never had a genuinely “poor” day of fetishing at the Minnesota State Fair. Yet I’ll admit that as I finish this writeup, the Minnesota State Fair feels like it might be a tick anticlimactic given what I just saw in Missouri. The fair season has gone surprisingly well so far, and I’m stitching together one helluva year-end list. I don’t want to jinx Minnesota by getting overconfident, but even if don’t get anything great there, nothing will take away the quality of the fair season so far, and particularly this night in Sedalia, Missouri.