ISF #5. Miss Teen Pork-Chop-On-A-Stick Smokes In Front of Her Baby Sister

One of the hottest and most miserable days in which I engaged in significant all-day physical activity was that 96-degree day in August 2007 when I trekked around the Iowa State Fairgrounds on a sightings safari.  But despite getting heat exhaustion by the late afternoon and having to cut the day short, I can still say without hesitation that going to the fair that day was entirely worth it…if for no other reason than it allowed me an epic sighting of this girl….

I was proceeding up a steep hill on the east side of the fairgrounds and spotted a vendor selling those “Dippin’ Dots”, the super-chilled balls that are actually ice cream. I placed an order and walked as I ate, modestly impressed with the synthetic ice cream but growing tired of it fairly early. I later noticed my upper lip was blistered up, and figured it could only have happened from one of those bitterly cold “dots” sticking to it and chewing up my flesh. While I probably won’t be purchasing Dippin’ Dots again, I am nonetheless eternally grateful for having purchased them that day because it allowed me to be in the right place at the right time for one of those rare, classic “you gotta be kidding me” moments fetishers score.  I was venturing to the north side of the fairgrounds, but was sidetracked by the sight of a freshly lit cigarette in the hand of what looked like a wholesome teenage girl.

I quickly reversed course and followed her, seeing this perfect little 16-ish female body in a blue tanktop and jean shorts and her shoulder-length blond hair wrapped up in a ponytail…..standing next to what I assumed what a kid sister who was about eight. I followed at close proximity for quite some time, watching her take intense drags off of her cork-filter cigarette, with the wind tossing her exhales straight into my face where they belonged. She eventually would stop in front of a food stand, with very little left of her cigarette. I briefly passed her to get a look at her face to find that she was the perfect stereotype of the sweetheart Midwestern farm girl, was at most 16 years old, and could not have better typified the girl next door…..well, except for that strangely out-of-place cigarette in her hand!

I was wondering what she was doing as she extracted her camera phone from her back pocket when I heard her mutter to the younger sister next to her “This needs to have a picture taken”. She raised her camera phone with both hands, but still maintaining her grip on the cigarette with her left hand, as took a picture of a sign that said “Pork Chop on a Stick”. Could this cutie be such a bumpkin that she’s that intrigued by the concept of a pork chop on a stick at a State Fair where EVERYTHING has been on a stick for several years? Whatever the case, I was digging it and continued to follow her as she and the sister again proceeded forward….. I noticed this girl was not carrying a bag or a purse, so I surmised that she got the cigarette from mom before she and little sister went their own way.

This assumption would lead to the grand finale of this sighting….something I don’t believe I’ve ever seen by a girl this young and cute. There was very little left of the cigarette even when she took that photo, but she made it last another full block, eventually taking three or four successive final snap drags. What the heck are you even smoking girl, I thought to myself when she finally dropped the cork filter to the ground. I stopped and looked at that butt….and every last molecule of tobacco had been sucked out of it. She smoked it right down to the filter…..completely. There was NOTHING left. I couldn’t even tell what brand it was as I stared at the butt because she made the thing disappear like a nicotine magician.

I would cross the street and rapidly loop around to get one final look at this girl to burn her image in my mind forever. She was just so cute….not in the realm of “classic beauty” as much as down-home cute….the kind of girl who you expect to see at a fair in Iowa….only not with a cigarette. What an astounding way to wrap up the first hour of my day!  And as high as the temperatures would soon rise, Mother Nature had nothing on this amazing girl.

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