I was meeting my friend Corey for a concert by country singer Kellie Pickler on my Thursday evening county fair visit in 2009. Corey had reserved seating that night, seating that would unfortunately place me well outside of the range where smoker sightings would transpire, but I arrived a couple of hours early to get some fetish time before I met him. I hadn’t been there for 10 minutes when I heard my name called out. It was Corey…and he had just finished eating and wanted to “walk around” the grounds together before going to the concert. Great! Just great!
I would walk around the grounds listening to my friend tell the story of his date last night with an old girlfriend, while dutifully scanning my surroundings as I always do for smokers as I half-listened. I scored a couple minor sightings that I wasn’t able to process while walking through the midway because he obstructed my game. Things would get worse as we left the midway and headed towards the grandstand to take our reserve-seating right-up-by-the-stage seats. Most would be happy to have such good seats, but I was distraught about the prospect of sitting there for nearly three sightingless hours while all this smoking was transpiring on the grounds behind me. The only bright spot is that the concert was being pushed ahead to 7:45 in the hopes of getting it in before the rain, meaning there would theoretically more of the evening left to fetish after the show ended.
Corey and I were approaching the grandstand seating but he decided we were there earlier than we needed to be and that he should really head to the bathroom before we took our seats. Sounded like a plan to me as it would get me onto the grounds for another 10 minutes or so. Little did I know, however, that for the second time is as many instances, my friend had inadvertently led me to my best sighting of the night. As we walked towards the cement bathroom complex, I immediately spotted two teenage cuties standing right off to the side with freshly lit cork filters between their fingers. And I would get to stand out here and watch the show for a few moments while my friend went into the bathroom.
As is usually the case, the men’s bathroom was wide open and my friend walked right in, but the women’s bathroom had a pretty significant line. The girls were smoking not far to the left of the line and I stood about five yards in front taking in as much as possible. The girl on the left wasn’t bad. She looked 17-18, had dark blond hair down to her shoulders and was in the middle of a cell phone call while smoking. The other girl, however, was absolutely adorable. She was very slender with long light brown hair flowing down her back and a face that oozed innocence. Looking at her, I would have figured she was 15, but it’s likely she was closer to her friend’s likely age of 18. The brunette stood there silently while her friend chatted on the phone, adorably folding her arms together in a way very definitive of a shy and somewhat insecure teenage girl handles herself in such settings, yet still smoked like a veteran with deep drags and dense exhales.
But here’s the best part….I was standing where I was in hopes of getting splashed in the face with the girls’ exhales, but the wind was such that they didn’t come my way. Instead, they drifted directly into the line for the women’s bathroom….and I mean straight into their faces. None of the women were complaining at that time, but with both girls smoking, the volume and frequency of their exhales created an almost relentless deluge of secondhand smoke assault from these adorable teen girls. As soon as the air finally cleared for the women in the bathroom line, another new cloud of toxic exhaust was produced by the second girl. It was truly remarkable, but was cut short all too quickly as Corey re-emerged from the bathroom and we headed back to the show. This sighting was spectacular enough to keep me satisfied for more than two hours we’d spend in the grandstand before and during this concert.