In the evening hours that wrapped up my second evening at the 2010 Minnesota State Fair, I scored more than a half dozen blockbuster sightings, several of which are on this list, and the quality of the blockbusters just kept escalating. I was already on an adrenaline burst before I even stumbled into the most epic sighting of the year and one of my all-time MNSF classics. Without further adieu, I present you….the legendary Lindsey.
I had spent so long in the same parts of the fairgrounds tracking sightings that I was now long overdue for another journey to the east side of the grounds. In this case, I found myself at the far eastern gate where I was at the early stages of what would be my best sighting of the day. This is another one where I need to warn you….hold onto your hat….because you’re going on the ride of your life….
By now, KISS was performing and could be heard virtually any place within a half mile of the grandstand, but I just happened to be in a sparsely populated area near the east gate outside the range of the KISS concert, and was thus able to hear voices in close range, which saved me from missing out on the upcoming sighting. I was busting pretty good through this east side since there weren’t many people there, but took a quick mental note of a trio of cute 17ish girls who had apparently just entered the fairgrounds at the 9:00 hour. I took a quick look at them, didn’t think they looked like obvious smokers, and decided I should press forward. Thankfully they weren’t out of hearing range as I heard one of the girls behind me saying “Lindsey, now we ARE gonna stop sometime because I really need a cigarette!” I quickly jerked back my head to see an adorable brunette looking at the curly-haired blonde who she just made the request to. The blonde didn’t bat an eyelash or say a word, giving her the silent treatment, which provoked the brunette to continue pleading. “Now c’mon Lindsey. I’m ALWAYS giving you cigarettes!” Holy shit! Needless to say, I followed. I already counted these two as sightings just from that banter, but I wouldn’t be satisfied until I actually saw them smoking.
As I followed I got to make a number of observations. Remember I said that there were three friends. The third wheel was a modest brunette who did little to capture my interest. The other two had me absolutely fascinated. The brunette doing all the begging was the best looking of the three, with a beautiful wholesome face, long brown hair, a slender body, but a less than sexy red sweatshirt and utilitarian jeans below the neck. But it was Lindsey the blond who fascinated me most. She was also pretty, and had those alluring curly blond locks as well as a white and gold top. But below the waistline was where she really sparkled, literally. Lindsey was wearing a short pair of medium-blue jean shorts that was made glam outlined in gold glittery trim. Watching that ass wiggle in those shorts I would have killed to have gotten my hands on it. The girls were pressing forward quickly, with Lindsey sipping a drink she must have purchased just after entering the gate. The begging brunette seemed to be doing most of the talking, but unfortunately as we moved closer to the grandstand their conversation was becoming inaudible due to the noise from the KISS concert, but judging from the body language it looked as though the brunette was continuing to plead with Lindsey to stop for a cigarette.
It was shortly after this point that I would come across my most difficult decision in the history of Minnesota State Fair fetishing. As I followed Lindsey and her girls, I crossed paths with a duo that took my breath away. I looked to my left to see an amazing blonde 21ish beauty in a red top and white shorts holding a white cylinder with a glowing red cherry on the end. Standing next to her was a long-haired brunette in jean shorts, also smoking. They were the most beautiful girls I had seen all day. We’re talking perfect 10s here. These girls belong in Hollywood. They were standing in a cluster of three guys, one of whom was smoking a giant cigar. If only the girls were smoking cigars, Lindsey and her crew would have been a distant memory. Now…what to do? These girls were so gorgeous it was crazy….yet the storyline behind the Lindsey sighting was so epic that I wanted to see that play out too. But was it gonna? Just because the brunette wanted to “stop for a cigarette” didn’t mean they were going to anytime soon. And meanwhile, I had these two epic beauties right in front of me who were smoking in the present tense. Watching Lindsey and her friends walk forward into the crowd, I decided I was gonna try to have it both ways…and figured there was a decent chance I would since the 21ish babes were wrapping up their cigarettes. I stuck around and observed their last two succulent drags. Almost in tandem, the girls dropped their cork filters to the ground. I took one last look at these beauties, especially that blonde in the white shorts. How is it even possible for girls this hot to exist, I thought to myself. I relished in this observation for a moment but then had to see if, just maybe, I could catch up to Lindsey.
I raced through the area behind the grandstand in the direction they were headed. The crowd had thinned down some now so it was not completely out of the question for me to find them, but it still seemed like a longshot. I was starting to lose hope as I continued my fast pace by the west end of the grandstand….until I laid eyes on that shiny beacon that was Lindsey’s jean-shorted gold-trimmed ass. I was back in business, baby! I continued following until they came to a stop at the edge of the midway near the radio station. It seemed to be a hangout for a lot of teens and young adults not quite old enough to party at the nearby beer gardens. The three girls quickly struck up conversation with what I assumed were friends they planned to meet there, although I suppose it’s possible they just decided to yuck it up with other kids their age that happened to be hanging there. I was starting to get nervous as I stood on the curb across the street thinking that this might not play out, but the begging brunette just wasn’t gonna let that happen. There was a flurry of people that made it easy to lose people in the crowd, but I had an opening to watch the brunette, reading her lips as she said to Lindsey, “PLEEASE! I need a cigarette!” She then held up one finger and said “Just one!” I have to admire Lindsey for being such a torturer, making her best friend beg her for a single cigarette. You gotta figure Lindsey’s current or future boyfriends are gonna have to work just as hard or harder to get a blowjob out of her.
And then, at least 10 minutes after this sighting began, Lindsey dug into her purse and extracted a bronze pack of Marlboro 27s. The would-be epic sighting of the night was finally gonna become an official sighting. Lindsey handed the brunette a cigarette and then placed one in her own mouth. The brunette looked adorable dangling that unlit cigarette for a good minute as Lindsey got out her lighter, lit herself up first, and then sparked up her nicotine-deprived friend. As suspected, the third girl didn’t smoke. Now it was time to watch the show…and the girls didn’t disappoint.
Actually, the brunette may have disappointed a little, at least compared to Lindsey who was a total pro, taking frequent and lengthy drags and spewing generous snoots full of smoke in her exhales. Sometimes she was thoughtful and turned to exhale. Other times, she exhaled straight ahead and at least twice she caught the nonsmoking girl in the face. Other friends were in and out of the conversation, but Lindsey and the brunette were the only smokers. The brunette wasn’t a bad smoker, but her exhales were less dense and her drags less frequent than Lindsey’s, although I must confess that from that angle I was watching I couldn’t see nearly as much of the brunette. Lindsey, on the other hand, hacked up a lugie about halfway through her cigarette and instead of the girlish flick of spittle most little girls spit, hers had volume and distance. It wasn’t a big lugie, but she sent it flying an impressive distance. And after that, things got even weirder. She had a strange habit of extending her arm, bending her wrist, and ashing the cigarette, but one time while doing this, she accidentally tapped the cigarette right out of her hand. At first, I thought she was just finishing up the cigarette, but it was a genuine accident and she quickly picked up the cigarette off the dirty pavement and stuck it back in her mouth. She wasn’t quite done with this cigarette yet!
The girls became mobile which had its upsides and downsides. It was hard to lose Lindsey with that ass of hers gleaming, but the crowd was such that it was still a real possibility. And she kept puffing on that cigarette long after I expected it was at its end. The brunette had apparently already lost hers, which was curious since she smoked much slower than Lindsey. But as Lindsey dropped her butt, I found out why. Lindsey had smoked it right down to the filter. There was a speck of paper left, but every morsel of tobacco had been smoked out of it into Lindsey’s black lungs. I took one final look at that adorable ass of hers swaggering its way onto the horizon, aware that I had almost assuredly scored my best sighting of the day.
My mood at this point was all-out euphoria, something I haven’t felt since fireworks at Summerfest 2009 where the smokers were absolutely everywhere. I literally started running as soon as I reached a point on the grounds that was empty, so much so that some drunk from the beer gardens jokingly shouted out, “No running!” If you would have told me at 7:00 that my sore feet would have been capable of sprinting across the fairgrounds, I would have told you that you were crazy.
The blockbuster-within-an-epic sighting in which I took an incredible risk paid off completely and I was able to identify three out of the four butts and got to watch all four girls smoke. It’s a damn tall order for any sighting in 2011 to top this one.