MNSF #72. Talking On The Phone With Grandpa While Sneaking A Cigarette


I had just had a painful near-miss cigar sighting from a hot blond on my first day at the 2015 Minnesota State Fair during the mid-afternoon and felt I was due to catch a break after that and was about to get one….sort of!

I migrated to the smoking area on the west side of the grandstand and as I encircled the perimeter of the large cement structure I spotted this attractive 19-20ish brunette in a pink T-shirt and dark skinny jeans with an unlit cigarette in her hand.  Unfortunately, by the time I got there I was befuddled when she no longer had a cigarette in her hand.  Her boyfriend was next to her holding a lighter while the middle-aged gal seated in front of her who I presumed to be her mother was smoking.  Well this was odd!  She was standing there talking on the phone and I began studying her a bit.  While she was pretty, she didn’t necessarily stand out as anything extraordinary….but there was something about her that intrigued me, and that intrigue intensified when I spotted the pack of Marlboro No. 27s stuffed in the back pocket of her tight-fitting skinny jeans.  Apparently girly was the one carrying around the pack that everybody in the family was using, or at least for herself and mom (dad was there too but not smoking).  Now it was just a matter of waiting out this damned phone call and hoping that she lit up too….

Little did I know the phone call would produce the most electric context of any sighting of the day as suddenly the tone of her voice changed to that of a sweet young girl saying “Heyyy grandpa!  I’m doing good….I’m at the Fair!”   Hot damn!  This barely legal smoker girl was on the phone with her grandpa and speaking to him as you’d expect any other 19-year-old girl would speak to gramps.  I wasn’t able to hear anything else in the conversation in the next few seconds before she was nudged by the boyfriend to have a cigarette…and he led her up a flight of stairs on the grandstand structure for reasons I couldn’t understand.  She certainly looked as though she was over 18 so I don’t think he wanted her to hide because she was an underage smoker.

Whatever the case, she removed that pack of Marlboro 27s out of her jeans pocket, extracted only one, and let it dangle unlit from her mouth as she ascended the stairs following the boyfriend.   I knew it would be reasonably obvious that I was following them up the stairs but I had to take the risk.  I got to the top of the flight and watched the girl lighting her cigarette and releasing one of the most substantial quantities of smoke from her mouth and nose that I’ve ever seen off of a light-up, and I caught the tail end of that exhale in a snapshot I snuck in at the top of the stairs….with smoke spilling out of her face and the cigarette still dangling from her lips.  And all this while she was still carrying on the phone conversation with her grandpa.  I wonder if grandpa has any idea that his sweet-talking granddaughter is a smoker, let alone smoking while chatting with him.  If her blackened respiratory system keeps spewing cigarette smoke in that volume he’ll probably be able to smell it through the phone!!

I knew I was in a conspicuous spot and was very conservative in shifting my eyes her direction from where I stood, pretending to overlook the grounds one story below.  I’d catch two more deep drags and otherworldly exhales blasting out of her mouth and nose before the boyfriend nudged her to go back down the stairs and she followed him.  What was going on here?  Did he have me figured out?  I never made eye contact with him but didn’t suspect he spotted me eyeballing his girlfriend.  Whatever the case, I was in risky terrain here but had to see more and gingerly descended a few of the stairs to see her and the boyfriend leaning against the railing with their backs to me (mostly) and I sat down halfway down the steps hoping to salvage what I could of this show.  I’d catch two more drags and huge volumes of smoke exhaled from her mouth….before the boyfriend nudged her once again and they walked away yet again.  I wasn’t gonna push my luck any further here and just sat there on the stairs for a minute pretending to be texting.  And it hit me that this boyfriend who was carrying a lighter and leading his girlfriend to smoke a cigarette never got hold of that cigarette or any cigarette for himself.  Was he a fetisher who just liked to watch his girlfriend smoke?  And did he immediately realize the signs in me since he apparently had me figured out right off the bat?  So many mysteries but I felt gypped for missing the majority of this first-rate show from a girl I identified as something special at the outset.  Even with a short sighting though, the context of the phone call with grandpa, the rest of the family dynamic where mom has to request a cigarette from her daughter, and those hugely smoky exhales combined to make this my third best sighting of the day.

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