ISF #34. A Gorgeous Blond Smoker’s Sinister Revenge Against A Cigarette Thief


Here’s a two-night sighting that began after 10 p.m. on the first night of the 2015 Iowa State Fair, not too long after the meet and greet with Gabbie Rae.  As I ventured past the beer gardens in the center of the concourse and particularly the median area full of port-a-potties in between the two buildings, I spotted two sets of couples all wielding cigarettes.  One was a very dark-skinned Indian girl with a nice body and silky black shorts.  While I’m sure she would be the type of a lot of guys she wasn’t really my type.  More my type was the girl just across from her, a sexy long-haired blond with dramatic facial features decked out in a white tanktop and jean shorts.  Unfortunately, I only saw one messy final drag before she dropped the spent all-white butt to the pavement.  D’oh!  Fortunately this sighting had a happy ending about an hour later when I spotted the same two couples standing in front of the same beer gardens, once again all wielding cigarettes.  My gorgeous blond had such a glowing presence as she bantered with her boyfriend and it was really infectious, particularly when she was dragging from her cigarette.  Unfortunately I didn’t get to see a ton of smoking on this cigarette either and was caught off guard when blondie left the group in a hurry, cigarette in hand, and was heading back in between the two bars.  I watched her cute denim-draped ass boogeying while she raised her cigarette to her lips one final time, taking a drag and then releasing one more carcinogenic cloudburst.  She dropped the all-white butt to the ground and then embraced in a stinky hug with another hot early 20s blond in jean shorts who was clearly a good friend.  I took the opportunity to ID the discarded all-white as a Marlboro Ultra Light and then watched the new girl for a bit, hoping she would have affinity for smoldering tobacco as well.  I kept tabs on this group for the rest of my time at the fairgrounds that night but unfortunately I had seen the last of the smoking from the original blond and didn’t see any smoking at all from the new girl.  Ordinarily that would be the end of the story at the Iowa State Fair, but it wouldn’t be this time…..

Five nights later I was back at the Iowa State Fair, and a huge crowd was departing the grandstand after a surprisingly strong showing for geriatric country group Alabama.  I had just scored the third act of a huge sighting yet to come in the countdown and was looking for my next sparkling moment which came within the next 10 minutes.  I was walking in front of the beer gardens in the center of the grounds once again and spotted a face that was instantly familiar.  My Sighting #86 from night one at the ISF was a beautiful 21ish blond with a dramatic face that just beamed sunshine and good energy.  On two occasions an hour apart that first night I saw her smoking, but only got in on the tail end of both of her shows.  But tonight my luck was different as she was back, this time decked out in a short black dress and looking even more sugary sweet and wholesome, and extracting a fresh all-white cigarette from an as-yet undefined pack of Marlboros.  She lit up that all white and made it official.

There were two other females and three males in her group, and one of the other females was a curly-haired 21ish light brunette in a plaid top and leggings who I had seen smoking earlier in the night….and she was lighting up another cigarette too.  Worlds were now colliding in the best way and I was settling in for a glorious two-for-one sighting.  But first the sighting had to take a terrifying turn….

This short Asian guy in the group who was providing comic relief for everybody thus far requested a hit from blondie’s cigarette, which she granted him….just before the group started walking away, immersed in different conversations in a way that made me think blondie was not gonna get her cigarette back.  But she kept her eye on the prize here, and after the Asian guy took his second drag she adorably yelled out “Hey give it back” but there was too much chaos among the drifting group for her demand to be immediately fulfilled.  Mercifully, she was undeterred, picking up speed and playfully grabbing the Asian guy by the arm to forcibly retrieve the cigarette that was rightfully hers.  Clearly this girl has some major league addiction issues that needed to be assuaged and perhaps fearing for his safety, he relented and handed her back the cigarette without a fight.

The group settled near the entryway of the east side beer gardens and blondie was now in possession of her all-white cigarette again so all was right with the world.  The group laughed and enjoyed each other’s company as the two smelly females continued to drag on their cigarettes, polluting the air quality with their stinky exhales repeatedly.  The light brunette was decent but was upstaged by this bubbling-over-with-IT-factor blond beauty in her black party dress, who gave me a taste of her cloudy and messy exhales on Saturday night but delivered far more where that came from tonight.  Her drags were nicely paced, deep, and clearly very pleasurable for her, and while her exhales were fairly messy as mentioned, there was also some nice streams of smoke escaping both her mouth and nose…..

But the sighting’s best moment came at the end when the storyline from before came around full-circle.  It was clear blondie was taking what would be her final drag from the cigarette when the same Asian guy who hijacked her cigarette a few minutes earlier approached her and held his hand out again for another hit.  Blondie was about to get her revenge in the cruelest way when she looked at him with a shit-eating grin and then dramatically dropped the cigarette to the pavement and crushed it out beneath her foot.  Hell hath no fury like a gorgeous addicted smoker girl scorned!  It was quite a moment but all in good fun and they both laughed about it after it ended.  The moocher guy then moved onto the light brunette whose cigarette still had a drag or two left, finished off hers and acted like the class clown while doing so to the amusement of his friends before the group drifted off again.  It was time to ID blondie’s cigarette butt.  Sure enough, it was a Marlboro Ultra Light, her same brand from Saturday night.  I hadn’t seen enough from this otherwise epic girl to get her in my Hall of Fame just based on what I saw the first night but she catapulted herself easily into all star status after her dramatic follow-up act.

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