There was a huge crowd at my Wednesday evening visit to the 2011 Iowa State Fair with a free concert by rising-star country-pop crossover group The Band Perry, but for the first several hours of the evening sightings were sparse. But at around 9:00, just as the concert was ending, things came alive and I would get one of my best stretches of sightings in the history of the Iowa State Fair. For all intents and purposes, this was the sighting that started it off as I was walking through the midway, and which had a surprise second act at the very end of the evening…
Standing near a food vendor at the edge of the midway was a giant cluster of 16-18ish teens, mostly girls with a couple of guys thrown in. I saw and smelled plumes of smoke going airborne from within this group and quickly identified its source as the tallest and most distinctive beauty of the bunch, a blond I originally suspected was 18 (more on that later) with shoulder-length hair that hung down onto her shoulderless turquoise blouse and snug pale blue jean shorts draping her bottom, with a long set of legs extending from underneath. I’d guess she was about 5’9 or 5’10” and looked a lot like a smoker despite her underlying cuteness. She actually looked a lot like Evan Rachel Wood did at 18. There were a few beauties in this group, but this girl was definitely the cutest of the group, and happened to be the only one wielding a cigarette. I would watch from afar and saw a couple of nice drags from her before the group started moving out of the midway and past the beer gardens area. I followed in the stinky trail of my new blond friend who was a good smoker, taking nicely timed drags, which was a nice change after all the recent girls who seem to go 90 seconds between drags. Her exhales were cloudy and skillful and it was an all-around pleasure following her and her shapely, well-decorated lower body. But I was so caught up in following her, I managed to miss an epic case of interference that would make for an extremely bad night for a couple of people in her clique…..
Remember I said there were some other cuties in the group (along with a couple real dogs unfortunately) and suddenly a cop came up to ask for ID upon seeing the girls walking around with beers. Thankfully, my girl wasn’t drinking. Kind of ironic that she was able to walk by the cop undetected as a likely underage smoker because they were focused on kids with beers. About four people in the group stopped at the gates, looking behind them to realize the two attractive brunette girls with the beers were in a world of hurt. Blondie crushed out her cigarette and unfortunately just stood there with her friends for the longest time, initially waiting for the rest of her cluster to be cut loose. It was killing me to see her cigarette butt hovering just underneath those long bare legs of hers, but I was gonna be patient with this one.
I was fortunate enough to have a couple other hotties nearby who were smoking who gave me a nice sideshow to observe while passing the time waiting for Evan Rachel Wood’s kid sister to get those killer legs of hers in motion. It eventually became clear that the busted friends would not be hanging out with ERW’s crew again that evening. They pressed forward and I jumped into identify her cigarette as yet another cork-filter Camel Blue. I’m not sure what the gimmick is with these Camel Blues but they sure seem to be popular with the young ladies lately.
And on my journey out of fairgrounds told my shuttle bus, I had yet another encounter with the girls reported upon earlier, when I recognized the familiar group just ahead of me. Walking along with my Evan Rachel Wood clone in her jean shorts and turquoise top was one guy friend, a brunette friend who was cute but looked eight months pregnant, and one of the uglier, overweight girls in the group. It was becoming clear that we were going to the same place…..to the same shuttle bus. I got on first before their group got inside and migrated to the back of the bus.
Unfortunately we got a few blocks down the road when we ran into a train….that was at a dead stop on the tracks. This is a frequent obstruction on the east side of Des Moines, and is part of the reason why the neighborhood has become so undesirable. We sat there for 15 minutes, with the bus full of drunks telling stupid jokes. I kept looking back to my favorite blond who wasn’t paying attention to any of it, instead mesmerized by her iPhone. The drunks were getting stupid and one of them suggested the women all get out and flash the train engineer their boobs in the hopes of getting the train moving again. The fat, ugly girl in the back said she was only 16 years old and would not be doing that. Whoa, I thought….if that girl’s 16, I bet my Evan Rachel Wood clone is too. I had assumed she was 18…..
Finally, the train got moving again and after a 20-minute wait we were mobile. I was hoping when we got to the drop-off point at the Iowa Capitol that my girl would light up a cigarette after she got off the bus. She didn’t, but what I did get was a nice consolation. I was walking to my car and they were behind me. I caught them in mid-conversation as one of the girls said, in reference to their group’s altercation with the cops earlier “I knew it was big trouble when I saw that cop approach her. She got arrested! She was only 16 and was caught with beer!” Once again, all things point to my favorite tall blond being only 16 years old…and the only smoker of her group. It’s pretty nice when the hot stuff from the Iowa State Fair continues on the walk back to your car from the shuttle bus.