ISF #24. Sexy Blond In Pink Shorts Takes Stinky Selfies With Nonsmoking Dad


The east side beer gardens has been the MVP location of the Iowa State Fairgrounds in the last few years and produced my sparkling moment of the day at Day 1 of the 2015 ISF as well.  I ventured past the benches near the bathroom just north of the east side beer gardens where I spotted something that seemed intriguing, a sighting that started off like it was gonna be a strong single or maybe a double, with an attractive 23-24ish blond with her hair up in a ponytail wearing a flattering white tanktop and pink shorts.  She was standing in front of a bench smoking a cigarette talking to a nonsmoking guy and girl sitting on the bench.  For some reason, I felt there would be something special about this sighting and stood off to the side with my phone trying to capture the moment even though it was dark and I knew the photos weren’t likely to turn out.  The one shot I got that turned out actually does a good job of conveying her aura, even in the dark.

It wasn’t until after I got a couple of pics in that I started paying attention, and the girl had style taking huge six-second drags that produced cherries glowing a brighter shade of red than a jar of maraschinos followed by enormously cloudy exhales that seemed to take on a life of their own after escaping her respiratory system.  I was pretty impressed with what I was seeing but had no idea what direction this sighting would take when, two-thirds into her cigarette, the friends got up to leave.  She now had the bench all to herself and sat on the left side of it.  Suddenly I had a huge opening on the bench to sit down and keep the stinky blond with the silky smooth legs company.  But lest you think I would have an opportunity to make this sighting interactive, something even better happened….when her parents showed up…..

Dad sat to her left which meant her sweet little body moved a little bit closer to me and mom was standing in front of her.  The context here was quite strange but her chemistry with this 5o-something couple made it entirely clear that they were her parents.  I couldn’t pick up on everything she was saying and it appeared as though she was a bit drunk by her voice but she mumbled to the folks that she was sitting there “smoking a cigarette”.  As close as I was I could tell from the markings on the cigarette that it was a Camel Turkish Royal and she took another very long drag from it and proceeded to belch out a blob of an exhale that flowed straight towards mom but also expanded out my direction and her father’s.  The next thing I know the daughter is holding out her phone in front of her face with her cigarette smoldering in the same right hand she held the phone, and squeezing her tobacco-drenched face next to her father’s for a selfie.

I was on the other side of this girl a few feet away and she was already far and away the stinkiest girl I’d been around all day so I can’t even imagine how much this smelly daughter was making her dad suffer.  Sitting as close as I was, I was able to sneak a couple of modest but very close-up photos of this sexpot sitting cross-legged only a couple of feet to my left.  And from there she was flipping around on the pics on her phone and showing some pics off to mom and dad, all the while leaving her cigarette unattended for a good 90 seconds.  As it continued to smolder and the ash got longer, the stench became really strong, with wave upon wave of sidestream smoke drifting my way.  I was choking on her smoke and I suspect the parents in even closer proximity were as well.  I haven’t been upclose with a smoking girlfriend in quite a while now but this was the closest I’ve come to experiencing a hot chick’s direct secondhand smoke odor that I wasn’t seconds away from making out with.  Much as I loved marinating in her smoke entrails, I wanted to see her smoking again, and when she finally got back to the cigarette she delivered in spades….

There was at most two drags left in the cigarette but she proceeded to stick that stub in her mouth for a dangling drag as though as it was freshly lit, taking another five-second dangling drag and making me wonder if the long ash hanging on the end was gonna fall off.  It didn’t, but she expelled yet another explosive exhale that whacked mom in the face before taking one final drag and dropping the tiny remaining stub to the pavement.  When the group still didn’t leave, I got up just in time to see the daughter giving her dad a very stinky hug and then mom and dad took off, with daughter soon following.  I sat back down on the bench and confirmed her discarded cigarette was a Camel Turkish Royal.  I just love it when a sighting that starts out modestly experiences plot twists and pure escalation.  They don’t come much more unpredictable or satisfying than this one, and it was by far my best sighting of the day.

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