I have made a tradition of going to the Iowa State Fair for a full day and night on the weekend but return after work one evening during the week, usually Wednesday night, and sometimes manage to get better sightings in the abbreviated Wednesday than I do for the entire Saturday. That wasn’t the case in 2010 on my Wednesday evening safari, but there were still some incredible sightings, including this one that came about an hour and a half after I arrived. It was one of my best sightings of the night, but it had a very dark ending that somewhat spoiled it….
Near the center of the grounds, I spotted from a distance the profile of a slender and wholesome-looking 19-20ish light brunette with a freshly lit cigarette in her hand who instantly captured my fancy. Not sure why, but I immediately sensed something special about this girl, and as I got closer and got a better look she definitely did not have the look of a smoker. Her light brown hair was wrapped up in a ponytail, and she wore a conservative brown tanktop and blue jeans. Not a stand-out-in-the-crowd beauty, but the definition of the girl next door with a pair of sunglasses providing her only source of “edge”. That, of course, and the cigarette in her hand. She was walking with a dorky-looking boyfriend and it didn’t take long to realize the two of them were having a little fight….
Not sure if it was the stress of the fight or if this is how the girl naturally smokes, but I was blown away watching that first drag. I had come across yet another cigarette rapist this year. She seemed to be walking a few feet in front of the boyfriend, probably due to the fight, and took intense five-second drags and then held that smoke in her lungs so long that it practically rented a condo in there. Watching from the side as she walked, the first bit of exhaled smoke when she finally exhaled was surprisingly sparse. There was more residual exhaust that spewed from her nose and mouth with the second breath than with the first. This is my favorite type of smoker, the kind of girl whose every breath deposits cigarette smoke into the sky from inside her coal black lungs. And given how long she held the smoke inside and how sparse the volume was on her initial exhale, it tells me that she holds the smoke so long that it is clinging to her lung tissue. So far, this was one outrageously hot sighting. Why is it that the most wholesome-looking smokers tend to be the girls most likely to molest their cigarettes this way?!?!
The petulant nonsmoking boyfriend, who seemed to be pouting more than she was, took a seat on a bench. Either because she didn’t want to be next to him or because she was simply being considerate to not expose him to secondhand smoke, she stood up behind the bench and continued to torture that poor cigarette to within an inch of its life. At one point she started walking off on her own, trying to get away from the boyfriend, and allowing me more opportunity to watch her technique, which was second only to my 2008 Minnesota State Fair grandstand girl (the great original “cigarette rapist”) in terms of outrageous seven-second hold times and smoke spewing from her face with every breath she took. The cigarette was approaching its end and she met back up with the boyfriend. Up to this point, their fight was kind of cute, but it wasn’t so cute anymore as they started walking away together and he grabbed her by the ponytail and jerked her head back, clenching his teeth and spouting a few seconds worth of angry words into her ear. He let go and she took one final monstrous drag from the cigarette before dropping it to the pavement and silently pressing on.
I looked at the Marlboro Light butt she deposited as I passed, but seeing the way this beautiful smoker was being treated was such a buzzkill I would have liked to have walked up and put the cigarette out on his face. The guy looked fairly nerdy so I did not see this kind of aggression coming. Sure would be nice if I was in a position to save a pretty girl and heavy smoker like this in any way possible. Still one of my best of the day for obvious reasons, but not as good as it would have been if her fair experience hadn’t ended with abuse.