I capstoned an outrageously incredible final two hours on my Wednesday evening visit to the 2011 Iowa State Fair with my best sighting of the entire year. The only disappointment from those final hours was a result of my own inexplicably poor judgment as I came upon a sexy blond in white shorts smoking a small cigar, but for some dumb reason walked away briefly, only to return and find she was gone. I had really blown it, but as I frantically searched for her, I managed to somehow stumble into a sighting that was even more incredible….
I walked on the sidewalk in front of the beer gardens, feverishly scanning the area for the blond in white shorts and coming up empty. But from out of nowhere, an absolutely nasty aroma of fresh cigar smoke was violating my senses. I kept moving hoping to identify its stealth source, and that’s when I laid eyes on the girl who would change everything. Sitting on a bench was a plain jane brunette seated next to this complete sexpot of a dark brunette wearing a bare midriff candy apple red top and a pair of tight black shorts….and smoking a full-sized cigar. To call her the most beautiful girl in the room would be the understatement of the year, as she was an equal mix of sweetheart next door and glam girl. It was love at first sight, and basically from the second I saw that big cigar in her hand, she became my favorite Iowa State Fair sighting of all-time, but I could have never in a million years imagined the kind of show I would get from her…..
It was about 11:25, and time was short as I absolutely had to get to my shuttle bus before midnight or else be stranded in the east side Des Moines ghetto with no ride home, but at the same time I wanted to see this sighting play out in its entirety, unsure of how long that cigar of hers would last. Now it wasn’t some giant 7 ½ inch Churchill or anything, but it was long and the size of a dime around. As shocking as it was to see the blond in white shorts smoking her little cigar, seeing a larger cigar between the fingers of this brunette bombshell was even more shocking.
She didn’t inhale every drag, but she did on some, and as is often the case with any kind of cigar, especially the bigger ones, she produced a huge cloud of filthy cigar smoke with every exhale. I can’t even begin to describe how sexy it was seeing this beautiful girl with her legs crossed while wearing those black shorts in the most feminine pose imaginable…and smoking from her big cigar, tapping it against the bench to ash it after every few puffs/drags. Again there was no available bench so I was reduced to standing there on the curb acting like I was waiting for somebody while sneaking glances on her. I occasionally sat down on the curb, sometimes out of necessity to hide my bulging crotch watching this unfold…..
Her exhales were being carried by the light breeze to the south and west and I just had to walk in that area to get a whiff. I swear that at least from that direction, you could smell this girl from 30 feet away, her rancid cigar smoke hovering in the area like cold air in a river valley. Unfortunately, I was unable to both smell her smoke and see her smoke the cigar at the same time so I had to return to my old location to watch the show and feel my heart warm after every time that cigar was placed in her mouth. But she was just getting started.
From out of nowhere, some guy emerged with a drink. He looked about 22 or 23, around the same age she was, but I didn’t really sense that he was a boyfriend. In his hand was some girly, fruity drink in a red plastic glass that she took ownership of. So here she was sipping her girly drink from this red glass….while smoking a cigar, which extended from her fingers pressed up against the glass. Amazingly, it got even better as the guy sat next to her in the direction her smoke was drifting. For the next several puffs, her careless exhales drifted straight into this guy’s face, one after another. The girl seemed perfectly aware where her smoke was drifting, but frankly couldn’t care less. Suddenly the luckiest guy in the world was getting an endless headwind of direct exhaled cigar smoke from the most beautiful girl at the Iowa State Fair….
And then it got even weirder when she began engaging the girl next to her in discussion. If her indifference about hitting the guy in the face with her exhales seemed obnoxious, she took it to an entirely different level when she took a drag from her cigar while the other girl was talking, looked her straight in the face not a foot in front of her, and then exhaled directly into her face. And then did the same thing again! Hell, in the next drag she wasn’t even talking to the other girl but would turn right at her and exhale into her face again. Were these people for real? Was I dealing with some funky threesome fetish where the nonsmoking guy and girl have a cigar fetish and get off on this knockout beauty exhaling cigar smoke directly into their face from a few inches away in public? I honestly don’t think so…and believe she was really clueless and obnoxious enough to exhale cigar smoke this carelessly in the presence of her nonsmoking friends. And nobody flinched at all, leading me to believe this girl is probably a regular cigar smoker and her friends are so used to her stench that even such in-your-face rudeness of the highest order doesn’t faze them anymore. Incredible beyond belief….
I started to notice there was only a stub left on her cigar by about 11:40. She was really gonna smoke the whole thing. And the way she held the small remaining portion of the cigar that was left, you could see the wet part where her saliva had moistened it for the last 20 minutes or more. Seeing that moist cigar butt between her fingers was the pivot point where I could barely contain myself from jumping on this girl’s insanely sexy body and copulating with her then and there. She salvaged a few more drags from the cigar before stubbing it out on the pavement. Rarely is that a good sign, and sure enough, the girl got up from there, holding her cell phone and her cigar butt, and then walking across the street for some reason. I fantasized about how stinky her fingers must have been holding that cigar butt, but the fantasy would turn into a nightmare as she approached the garbage can across the street—in the pitch black—and tossed it inside.
From there, she got on her phone and started gabbing away in this dark spot, leading me to cross the street in hopes of salvaging something else from the sighting. What a sexy girl! On top of the perfect 10 beauty, her body looked flawless with that bare midriff separated by that red top and those skin-tight black shorts. If only she knew how much I wanted inside of her!!! There was a cop standing no more than five feet from her and since the sighting had run its course anyway, I decided to retreat, but only after fulfilling this once-in-a-lifetime sighting.