FCF #12. The Blond Chainsmoker Who Started It All At The County Fair


After years in the proverbial “closet”, my smoking fetish finally became official on May 11, 1999, during my junior year of college when I accidentally stumbled into the fetish boards and never looked back from there. The 1999 county fair was my first high-profile sightings venue to explore following the fetish epiphany. I had not had a memorable smoker sighting at the county fair prior to 1999, so what I was about to see that Thursday evening would be something of a pioneer moment. The grandstand lineup was less appealing than usual that year, so I only attended one concert, and it was mellow classic country singer Don Williams. I figured I’d be the only person under 50 in attendance and held out little hope for seeing attractive young female smokers. But I learned the early lesson that the least likely venues can sometimes yield the most amazing sightings. In this case, it was an attractive young couple seated two benches in front of me. I was 21 at the time and the couple looked to be about the same general age, making me wonder where the girl-next-door blond came from and how I managed to miss out on her.

Both the guy and the girl lit up and lit up frequently over the course of the hour and a half before and during the concert. The boyfriend was clearly a very heavy smoker, but the blond girlfriend matched him cigarette for cigarette, ultimately chaining through five cigarettes and digging inside that purse of hers to tap into the fast-dwindling pack of Marlboro Lights with dizzying repetition. And watching her smoke was a treat in itself, devouring long and indulgent drags and tilting her head skyward for every cloudy exhale. The mellow nature of the concert made it that much easier to focus on this beauty’s relentless smoking addiction.

The high points, however, were reserved for the end of the performer’s songs when the crowd erupted into applause. It seemed odd that such a young and attractive girl would be so intrigued by a performer as low-key as Don Williams, but she always broke into extended applause after every tune, either dangling the all-white from her mouth while clapping or deftly balancing the smoldering cigarette between her fingers while clapping. Towards the end of the concert, she would rise in a standing ovation to clap, give me a literal front row seat to her amazing posterior packaged in impossibly sexy white shorts (which I’m a sucker for in general). After years of attending the local fair, I finally got my first memorable smoker sighting on the very year where it meant most to me.

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