On the opening night at the 2013 county fair, I was flying solo while seated at the concert of country singer Kellie Pickler as my buddy Corey, who usually attends these concerts with me, was out of town for the week with his new bride. I wasn’t all that tuned into the show and really got distracted about halfway through when this foursome that included a guy and three 20-21ish girls walked out of the show and dawdled briefly in the smoking area. Two of the girls were blond babes so I really wanted this one to pan out. The guy had a pack of Marlboro Light Special Blends in his hand and I thought I was gonna hit the jackpot….until they kept walking into the grounds. I watched in horror as they walked away, ultimately settling into this bench just beyond my sight of vision, but the last thing I was able to see was one of the blonds in the group with an unlit cigarette in her hand. The lack of presence from buddy Corey was already coming in handy, because I was gonna leave this concert for a much better show outside the grandstand. It was a controversial decision since I wouldn’t be able to get back in and get that seat again, but it was a decision that led me to the sighting of the night….
By the time I got out there, eight people were sitting on that bench, including the foursome that exited the show. The guy was smoking a cigarette, along with a chubby brunette in a black dress who was cute enough to count but barely. But the main attraction was THREE blonds (the two in the original group and another stray friend that met them on the bench) who were all smoking as well. The blond on the north end of the table was okay looking but the least memorable of the three. Her exhales were pretty nice, managing to shoot skyward based on the way she blew them even though she didn’t tilt her head up. But the blonds on the south side of the bench were who my eyes were laser-focused on, and there was a convenient bench overlooking them that I sat at. The blond closest to me was wearing a white top and jean shorts and was holding her cigarette behind her back. It was hard to see drags from my angle, but from what I did see the drags were pretty long and she always did substantial skyward exhales. Prettier yet though was the darker wavier-haired blond across the table from her, who was also a very nice smoker but much more obnoxious with her scattershot exhales which splattered either straight ahead towards the other smokers or in the direction of the three nonsmoking girls at the table to her left. There was a deja vu factor to this girl and I may well have seen her at previous county fairs, but I couldn’t place her. The only downside to this arrangement is that the prettiest girl of the seven at the table was the dark brunette immediately to the left of the wavy-haired dark blond…and she wasn’t smoking.
This sighting was the gift that kept on giving as the guy lit up another cigarette right after the first, and the wavy-haired blond wasted little time beckoning him for a drag. Sadly it would be the last I’d see of her smoking though as she and three other girls got up to explore the fair, leaving just the pretty nonsmoking dark brunette, the chubby brunette smoker, and the jean-shorted blond with the skyward exhales seated along with the guy. I kept close tabs on this group for about 15 minutes while still seated in a place where I could hear the concert. The guy, the brunette, and the blond all took another cigarette and lit up after a few extra minutes of observation. Unfortunately, the pretty brunette seemed to now officially be a nonsmoker given that everyone but her had by this time lit up. But it was gonna be a pleasure to watch this blond smoke another one, still holding the cigarette behind her back and still exhaling skyward after every four-to-five second drag.
But then something unexpected happened when I took my eyes off of the group for about three seconds. I looked their way and I saw the pretty brunette taking a drag from a cigarette! When did she light that sucker up, I thought to myself, right before she answered the question by handing the cigarette back to the blond. She only wanted one drag of the blond’s cigarette. Still, it was enough to complete my masterpiece, counting her as the fifth smoker of this group and still getting to enjoy watching the blond smoke the rest of her cigarette. Clearly this was the high point of my night. None of these girls individually was Hall of Fame worthy but the wild ride they took me and the robustness of the tobacco they smoked assured that they’d find their way to my Hall of Fame