While Wednesday evening at my 2012 local county fair wasn’t quite as incredible as Tuesday or Thursday night, it still produced its share of quality sightings, and none better than this one. Most years the VFW BINGO stand delivers me something worthwhile, but I am on record saying that this was my all-time best VFW Bingo sighting. Keep in mind this BINGO stand is an open-air pavilion, meaning the seats on the edge are outdoors while the seats inside are basically like being in the indoors with the windows down. For years I was surprised and impressed that the VFW put out ashtrays for BINGO patrons, but last year the ashtrays were removed. Not sure if they officially decided to make the pavilion smoke-free but they seemed to be trying to nudge patrons that direction with the removal of ashtrays.
Anyway, I was walking past the BINGO stand around 10:30 and saw a cloud of smoke emerging from inside. It was coming from a blond guy who was sitting inside the building rather than on the outer periphery. As I was processing this, I noticed he seemed to be with a group of four, including two girls. Sitting right next to him was this absolutely adorable girl-next-door brunette who looked about 16. Under just about any circumstance I wouldn’t have recognized a cigarette, but since the guy was smoking my radar was up…..so I noticed that her right hand was underneath the table…and she was holding a cigarette too. Holy shit! I looked at this brunette cutiepie and couldn’t believe she was smoking to begin with let alone inside this BINGO pavilion. And she was even more inside than the boyfriend who was closer to the outdoor portion than she was. My only problem was gonna be positioning because I wasn’t gonna miss this for all the money in the world. After becoming distraught that I was finding nothing, I then noticed an open bench that would give me a perfect semi-rear vantage point where I could see her face from the side and not be easily recognized. I had my front-row seat for the show….
And what an incredible show it was. In seconds, she placed the cigarette in her mouth and took an intense five-second drag. Her hold time was lackluster, but with that much smoke taken in, it had to go somewhere and was expelled from her lungs in adorably cloudy straight-ahead plumes….and again, INSIDE the BINGO stand. The other guy and girl to her right who were in her friends group were not smoking and as I started to look them over, they mostly looked closer to 18 than 16, so it’s possible she was older than she looked. Trust me, looking at that impossibly sweet perfect Midwestern face, you wouldn’t think this girl was 18. I really was sitting in the perfect spot because her legs were on display too, decked out in short black shorts that seemed fitting for this cutie. I continued to be amused that she still held the cigarette underneath the table between drags, as if knowing she wasn’t supposed to be smoking there but trying to get away with it anyway. Whenever the cigarette was extracted from its subterranean location and placed in her mouth, however, it was a thing of beauty as all of her drags were of the five-second, squinty-eyed pleasure look variety. But the sighting still hadn’t hit its peak….
Someone yelled out BINGO and the reward was passed out after the numbers were checked….and moments later the attendant was walking up and down the aisles to collect the 50 cents from everyone there who wanted to play again. Doing so, he was approaching my girl and her group when she took a drag. Now he wasn’t quite there yet so he didn’t get it in the face, but if he was five seconds later he would have. While most of my girl’s exhales were straight-ahead plumes, remember there were storms not far away and gusts of wind came out of nowhere. In this case, a gust came just in time to blow the exhaled smoke straight back as she exhaled, blowing the smoke further indoors in the BINGO pavilion. Unfortunately, that part of the pavilion directly behind them was almost entirely empty so nobody was forced to choke on her obnoxious carcinogenic cloud, but it was a fluke that they didn’t. And best yet, after that drag she held the cigarette briefly over the floor and tapped the ash, allowing her ash to fall onto the pavilion floor. Had she done this on the outer perimeter, nobody would have batted an eye, but the sheer obnoxiousness of doing it indoors blew my mind. What was she supposed to do….they got rid of the ashtrays after all….and not smoking inside while playing BINGO was clearly not an option for her. I stuck around as they played one more game and she finished the cigarette. I didn’t see what she did with the butt but figured I must have simply missed it when she dropped it.
They quickly departed as soon as the next person yelled BINGO, the group of four getting up to walk away. The other girl in the group was a long-haired blond who also cute, but this brunette ran circles around her. And as innocent as she looked, clearly she had some vinegar in her. I saw she had some white written words on the front of the black shirt, and once she got up I tried to read the writing, but could only make out one word on the bottom….a giant all-capped “BOOBIES”. This is what she wears to the fair. And that sweet little rump that was her posterior in those black shorts was her most striking feature below the neck. If only I could have gotten her to trade her blond boyfriend for another blond guy slightly older! They walked off into the midway and I went inside to the seats they vacated in the BINGO hall. No butts on the floor. Not sure what they did with them but they were nowhere to be seen so I was getting totally shut out on the butt identification front.
A brief while later, I was exploring a sparse stretch of the grounds’ south side and who was hovering there but the two couples who were at the BINGO stand only 15 minutes earlier. They were in a huddle and talking amongst each other in the middle of the street, and given how sparse this part of the grounds were at this time of the night, lingering to watch for an extended period was not an option. I managed to stall and wander around just long enough to see the blond boyfriend of “Boobies shirt” girl light up a cigarette. When nothing happened in the next few seconds, I decided I might as well head off, but just as I did, the blond female friend produced a cigarette….and in seconds her boyfriend lit up as well. The only one who wasn’t smoking was the brunette cutiepie.
I couldn’t accept this and as I proceeded forward I continued looking over my shoulder every five seconds, until finally, on about my third glance, there was a flame gleaming in front of her face and lighting up another cigarette. Drove me nuts not knowing her brand so I hung back and found a bench a significant distance away hoping that they’d litter their butts before leaving. Unfortunately, it wasn’t meant to be as within less than a minute the foursome started drifting in between buildings to an even sparser area where I simply couldn’t follow them undetected. Time to go home for the night….but certainly with a flourish.