FCF #20. “Tonya” and Her 4-H Girl Smoker Buddy


I only scored 17 sightings Wednesday night at the local county fair in 2010, which ordinarily isn’t a great haul, but whatever I lacked in quantity I more than made up for with blockbuster quality.  I scored this grand slam only about 15 minutes after arriving….

As I headed towards the 4-H building on the south side of the fairgrounds, I saw a duo of blonds from behind, and as is often the case, one of them stood out.  It was this tall blonde in a blue tanktop and white shorts.  Now her ass was a tad chubby and her legs showed a little cellulite, but these minor imperfections for whatever reason drew me even closer to this girl.  She and the friend were chatting it up with a couple of friends before heading the same direction I was towards the 4-H building….and right away I sensed something special about this tall blond….

The girls sat down on a bench in front of the 4-H building and just seemed to be women on a mission.  I was curious and wanted to both see their faces up close and see if my intangible instinct was right.  The girls looked like they were either just about 18 or just a little past 18.  No way were they out of their teens.  The tall blond had a certain mischievous girl look to her, but now I finally got a look at the second girl….a curly-haired blond with a girlish plaid top and light blue jeans.  She looked much more like a girl next door and after seeing her face, I all but lost what little hope I had that they’d be smokers.    These had to be 4-H girls for crying out loud…..good, wholesome 4-H girls.  But that instinct just didn’t go away….

I sat on another open bench very close to them and my heart started racing as the girls rummaged through their purses.  While my head was saying “cell phones”, my gut was saying “cigarettes!”  The girls noticed me, and much as I tried to be subtle, they looked increasingly nervous while rummaging through those purses.  Eventually cell phones came out, but they still seemed as though they wanted to take out something else.  At this point, some mentally challenged young man who knew the girls sat down next to them and said hello.  The tall blond cutie broke out into “Hi James!” in the unintentionally condescending way you would expect a young girl to speak to a mentally retarded guy she was acquainted with and who probably had a crush on her.  As a conversation broke out, I decided to go inside the 4-H building and check out the exhibits for a few moments, still not resigned to the fact that the girls were nonsmokers but also not giving up and allowing myself a little more time to see if my gut was right.

I went inside and perused the exhibits.  I probably spent about 90 seconds in there, and considering how much the prospects of those girls being smokers had dwindled, there was a brief moment where I forgot all about them…..until I had looped around the back of the building and had a vantage point out the front entrance.  My jaw almost hit the floor when I looked to that bench to see two adorable teenage blonds taking drags off of freshly lit cigarettes.  I rushed towards the entrance and sat back down on the bench where I was before, taking out my cell phone and pretending to be texting, all the while looking up to the girls who continued to be very nervous and were very clearly trying to sneak their smokes, albeit in wide open.

I had to train myself to watch them out of the corner of my right eye, as the girls held their cigarette hands low to the bench, out of view to all but the most committed fetisher.  In fact the tall blond was hiding her cigarette in between her bare legs.  It was actually the shorter and more wholesome-looking blond who took more frequent drags, but that much more distinguished tall blond with the white shorts still commanded my attention.  Out of the corner of my eye, it was hard to evaluate the quality of their exhales, but these were the kinds of girls where just knowing they were smokers made my week.  It was just so adorable seeing them smoke, and I couldn’t help but notice others walking in proximity seeing these unlikely smokers taking drags and being a little surprised at what they saw.  The shorter blond would be the first to stand up and move towards one of the plastic “smoker’s outposts” that was literally right in front of her that I somehow didn’t see and deposited her cigarette butt.  Seconds later, the taller blond did the same, frustrating the hell out of me since I wouldn’t be able to identify their brands.

Seconds later, a middle-aged woman walked out of the 4-H building and shouted out to the tall blond a message that I only caught part of that began with “Hey Tonya….”  The tall blonde, preparing to leave got into a brief exchange with the woman about 10 yards away.  My sense was that these were bona fide 4-H girls….wholesome little farm girls that had turned over to the dark side, perhaps after turning 18, and became smokers.  I was really riding high after this, as there was quite a bit going on in this sighting, and that my instinct led me down the right path for an unlikely but hard-earned teen smoker blockbuster.

Late that evening, after the concert, I would see these two girls on the midway along with a third girl.  The third girl and the wholesome blond in the dress passed another cigarette back and forth, but unfortunately Tonya wasn’t getting in on the smoking action this time.  One of the best things about the sightings at the local county fair is that I have a very good chance of seeing the girls out smoking again next year, as you can be sure I’ll be looking for.

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