Summerfest #14. Blond Bombshell Makes Cigarettes Disappear In Eight Drags


Friday night was the source of the best sighting at Summerfest 2012, and it came in two phases in the beer gardens between 10 p.m. and 10:30.  By this point in the evening, the smokers were becoming bolder, particularly in the outer edge near that corner where I had been seeing smokers puffing away all night, but not only in that corner.  As always seems to happen on Friday night, the smokers begin lighting up even in the middle of the grounds…and as I progressed through the huge crowd closer to the stage of the performing “Flying Marsupials” (don’t ask!) there was an unusually large opening giving me a direct vantage point of this petite and wholesome-looking long-haired blond with an all-white between her fingers, boarishly violating Iowa state law by smoking in the dead center of this beer gardens.

The group she was with included a couple of younger people and a guy that seemed considerably older than her but may well have been an older boyfriend (or possibly just an older friend…it was tough to tell).  Whatever the case, she was probably about 22 but she was another girl that could be mistaken for about 18 if not for the more mature company she was keeping.  She was decked out in a black tanktop and jean shorts which were nice on her and all but that pretty and wholesome face was her main attraction…along with that all-white cigarette of course.  I got to see three drags and they were all pretty intense.  She tossed her cigarette to the ground without crushing it out when finished and I so wanted to identify it but since she and her group were still standing right there it just wasn’t gonna happen.  Finally though, I had scored my first girl of the night with IT factor.

Fast forward to about 10 minutes later and the beer gardens was where things were happening that night so I spent the final 10 minutes of the evening slowly wandering from corner to corner of the beer gardens, but before I left I felt a gravitational pull to revisit the area where my wholesome blond was.  She was still there with the same group, looking as cute and wholesome as ever but was no longer smoking.  I hung back a minute or so and took in a little bit of the stage show and then noticed the guy in her group who happened to be placing a cigarette in his mouth.  Interesting, I thought to myself, still not hopeful that blondie would be smoking again only 10 minutes or so after she smoked her last one.  But the guy in the group took a step back creating an opening for me to see the blond with a freshly lit all-white dangling from her lips, where it remained for the next 10 seconds before she removed it and then released a thundercloud of smoke.

Needless to say I stuck around for the show and was lucky as hell to again have a wide-open vantage point by Summerfest standards. Now while this girl’s drags weren’t Jerry Sandusky-level predatory, they were solid drags and she managed to exhale huge clouds of smoke with them.  Then I noticed there was an even better opening on the other side of her and moved over there.  Looking at that cigarette I wondered to myself how she possibly could have made so much of it disappear in such a short time and with so few drags (she had probably taken five at this point).  She reminded me of that 21ish Camel Pink girl at the 2011 Minnesota State Fair (MNSF #66) who was waiting around for her parents as she also seemed to suck the tobacco out of her cigarette with only about eight drags.

Back to blondie, she took another drag that really impressed and cut loose another exhaust explosion that went straight into the face of this guy behind her who didn’t seem to notice or else didn’t care.  At this point I was just gonna wait for one more exhale and then walk through it and leave the grounds.  She took that next drag and I’ll be damned if she didn’t toss the cigarette to the ground, having relieved it of its contents in about eight drags, which struck me as incredibly skilled and the work of a very hard-core smoker.  I was so taken aback by the fact that she had already finished the cigarette that I was a little late walking through her exhale, but for all the right reasons.

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