For whatever reason, my successes at Summerfest have seemed to occur primarily on odd-numbered years. 2014 was not one of those and the even-numbered year curse seemed to hold up again. Sightings declined by 20% from my impressive 2013 haul, and three of the four nights were genuine snoozers. Saturday night, however, was the one night in 2014 that I walked away smiling at the end of the night. And the first of my two great sightings came pretty early in the night in the middle of the beer gardens area.
The majority of smoking in the beer gardens occurs in the southwest corner which somehow became a de facto smoking area in the grounds where smoking is officially banned, but you’ll still find some scofflaws who light up in the densely populated center of the grounds. Rarely, however, do these scofflaws look like the tall, slender, heaven-sent brunette angel I spotted flicking an all-white to life while watching the band perform onstage. There were actually two sexy long-haired brunettes, and the shorter girl of duo wearing a miniskirt looked by far the most likely of the two to light up, but she never did. The taller girl (I’d guess she was very close to six feet tall) was the most unlikely smoker of the year at Summerfest, decked out in a black top and long black-and-white striped skirt, and it’s impossible to overstate how gorgeous and wholesome her face was. Yet not only did she smoke, she smoked with gusto, firing herself up and puckering up her lips for a dangling drag.
Nothing would have been more adorable than if she had carried out an extended dangle after that dangling drag, but she did get around to removing the cigarette from her mouth after a few seconds, exhaling plumes of dense smoke amidst the tight crowd in the no-smoking grounds. But the beauty part was that her first five drags were all of the no-handlebars dangling drag variety, and it was absolutely precious seeing a face as pretty as hers pucker up around the filter of an all-white cigarette and draw smoke into her temple of a body. These deep drags were making the cigarette disappear pretty quickly, and once it was less than half-sized, she began smoking it the traditional way, still taking nice drags with beautiful plumes of straight-ahead exhaled smoke blasting from her mouth, and frequently swaying her hips subtly to the music from the band. A bizarre wide-open circle formed in front of her, perhaps repelled by her smoky stench, and she and the friend walked closer to the stage at the moment she took her final drag and dropped the smoldering cigarette to the ground without crushing it out. Amazingly, I was able to swoop in and ID the butt as a Marlboro Light, a rarity in the almost always suffocating crowds in the middle of the Summerfest beer gardens.
An hour or so later, I saw this duo of girls talking to a couple of guys they seemed to know. Nobody was smoking but it was still a trip looking over this tall sweetheart from head to toe and knowing that she’s a hard-core smoker.