Mall #18. Smoky Baby Talk


I scored my best mall sightings day of the year one steamy early summer day in June 2010, with this only being my second best of the day.  There are 10 sightings “hotspots” at my favorite Iowa mall, with some of those 10 decidedly hotter than others. One of the least productive has generally been the north side entrance closest to Sears, so much so that it was almost an afterthought as I turned the corner towards that inverted entrance, planning to merely cut through there en route to a more likely sightings venue. But about 10 feet in front of me stood two 18ish girls with a baby carrier between them.  It was an all-too-brief approach time but I saw enough to tell that these girls were the unlikeliest of smokers, looking far too wholesome to be either smokers or mothers, even though both had cigarettes protruding from their fingers and at least one of them apparently had a kid.

One of the girls was a modestly attractive curly-haired blonde.  She’d have been an impressive enough stand-alone sighting, but it was the brunette in her company that blew my mind.  She wasn’t a take-my-breath-away stunner…she was simply adorably cute, with her shoulder-length dark brown hair in a ponytail, a light case of freckles on her face, and a perfect feminine summer outfit that consisted of a white tanktop and PINK shorts.  A split second after I turned the corner and saw her, she let loose a snootful of smoke in front of her.  I tried to increase my walking pace to walk through her exhale but was a couple of seconds too late.  Now my goal was to get just inside the mall, sit on the open bench, and have a front-row seat to this hot sighting as it played out.

I did just that and looked out the window to see the girls smoking like troopers, almost to the point of being oblivious that there was a very small child (judging from the carriage it couldn’t have been more than a few weeks) just below them.  Their exhales weren’t overly impressive but the context surely was.  Every time I looked over my shoulder my eyes focused like a laser on that brunette.  It was one of those sightings where two girls were smoking but only one dominated my attention.  That ponytailed cutie in the pink shorts was just too adorable to be ignored.

Unfortunately, she was painfully aware of me and seemed to make eyes with me every time I looked her direction.  Thankfully another distraction was about to present itself and officially elevated this sighting to blockbuster level.  A family consisting of apparent grandparents and at least one parent was exiting the mall with a baby of their own in a stroller.  I could see the two smoker girls from a distance already going into Mama Bear mode, smiling and making weird faces as they saw the baby emerging.  At first I thought this new family was with their party and they knew each other.  But the family continued on and with each step closer to the girls, the girls (especially the brunette cutie) was mouthing some cutesy baby talk to the approaching baby, apparently not even considering that perhaps the new family didn’t really care for their kid (or themselves for that matter) to be exposed to the cancerous fumes these girls were spewing from their mouths.  Crazy hot!

From there, the girls finished their cigarettes and crushed them out before entering the mall, with the brunette holding the baby carriage. Considering how sexy her body looked, it’s hard to believe she was the mother, but it seemed odds-on that she was.  They briefly walked in my line of vision and considering how many times the brunette saw me looking her way I was a little nervous she was gonna call me out on it.  They didn’t, however, and strolled into the mall carrying the baby and reeking of cigarette smoke.  Once out of sight, I bolted outside to identify their debris.  I couldn’t determine which cigarette was smoked by which girl but I found the two butts sitting on the pavement right underneath where they were standing. One was a Marlboro Red.  The other a Marlboro Menthol.  Those are some strong cigarettes.  This young mommy was gonna give her body what it wants following her pregnancy no matter how unhealthy it was.  Great stuff.

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