Mall #17. “Secondhand Smoke Will Be Sexy Tonight”


On March 17, 2007, the same day as my #19 mall sighting of all time, I would score another classic only about an hour later.  My instincts guided me towards another incredible sighting soon after.

I was walking past the entryway of a Kohl’s store attached to the mall and happened to glance to a crowd of girls approaching from far back in the parking lot. From a distance, I wasn’t optimistic about tobacco consumption, but for whatever reason, I took the chance and wandered their direction. As I got closer, I could see a cigarette in the hands of one of the girls, a college-age dark brunette with a distinguished beauty, decked out in a winter jacket and wearing tight medium blue jeans. She was speaking to the other non-smoking girls and while I couldn’t hear the conversation, her body language with the animated cigarette in her hand led me to believe the conversation was about smoking. Sure enough, as I walked past, the girl with the cigarette said “secondhand smoke will be sexy tonight”.

I was thoroughly intrigued as to the context of such a gratifying statement to hear from an attractive young female smoker. Did she have a date with an out-of-the-closet fetisher? Or did she have a hint of the fetish herself and was describing the smoky bar that she and friends planned to frequent on St. Patrick’s Day evening?  Whatever the case, my heart was racing with excitement as I observed her carelessly flicking her spent all-white cigarette butt onto the sidewalk before her flattering denim-draped ass wiggled its way through the entrance of Kohl’s.  The cigarette butt was a Marlboro Light.

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