Mall #29. Chronic Brunette Litterbug Chain-Smokes Camel Pinks


One Sunday afternoon in late July 2014 at central Iowa’s most upscale mall I scored my first leg of a sighting that was frustrating, even though it had and still has the potential to produce a rock star moment. But as happens far too often with sightings at the mall, logistics screwed me over.  Some young dude was walking near me outside a mall entrance and he spotted an early-20s brunette taking a seat on an obscure bench nestled in a mall crevice where it’s impossible for a stalker to watch.  Great!  The guy apparently knew the girl–a decently attractive brunette in a black blouse and dark jean shorts–and asked if she minded having a smoke with him.  I did the best I could to hover near the edge of the sidewalk to see snippets of a sighting out of the corner of my eye.  From out of the brunette’s purse came a pack of Camel Pink Lights….don’t see that every day!  She proceeded to extract a cigarette and light it up, but then got very distracted in her conversation with the guy and her straightening out the wires on whatever electronic device she was preparing to listen to…quite possibly an iPod.  I assumed this girl was on a work break, but that scenario didn’t match how casually she was dressed, so it just didn’t make sense.

Anyway, it was adorable watching her deftly hold that freshly lit all-white cigarette between her fingers while unwinding the cords on that iPhone/electronic device….and it must have taken her five minutes to get it in working condition.  Once she finally got that straightened out, she began attending to her cigarette more judiciously, with nice long drags and cloudy exhales that came mostly from her mouth.  Unfortunately, I was not gonna be in a position to linger and watch this at my awkward standing position so I walked away for a bit hoping to catch a brief encore in passing a few minutes later.  When I returned, she flung the smoldering cigarette to her right as piggishly as humanly possible and not bothering to crush it out.  Nothing more adorable than cute young smoker girls behaving as rudely as they possibly can.  I lingered just long enough to see her reach for her pack and fire up a second cigarette.  Gah!  Why couldn’t she be sitting at a bench more accessible for stalking so I could see this impressive show upclose for a sustained sighting!??!?!

I was lingering waiting for her to leave so I could see how nice her body was but she wasn’t going anywhere.  The guy smoking with her left, but in a few minutes, another guy came out and sat next to her on the same bench for a smoke break.  Great!  Just great!  It was time to move on, but I never fully left the area and wanted to make further passes in the minutes ahead.  On my first pass, she was silently listening to whatever was coming out of her earbuds sans a cigarette while the dude next to her was still smoking.  But on the second pass, there she was, smoking her third cigarette in the last 20 minutes still listening to her music.

She didn’t seem to be going anywhere as the minutes passed so I ventured on, ultimately driving my laps around the mall.  She was gone from that bench on the first pass but on the second pass, she sat at another nearby bench smoking at least her FOURTH cigarette of the last hour, this time with two middle-aged guys she didn’t know on both sides of her, one seated on the bench next to her and one standing.  Perhaps they were fellow fetishers enjoying a lovely show but given how close they were to her it had to be awkward.  I turned around in the parking lot to make another pass and get a better look, and my timing was good as she was taking the final drag from her cigarette and, once again, boarishly flung the butt to the ground without crushing it out despite the fact that there was an ashtray only inches to her right, then stood up to go back inside the mall.  I finally got to admire a nice female body in jean shorts and was able to follow her ass with my eyes as she went inside.  Obviously a sighting like this at a fairgrounds would have the capacity to really stand out, but unfortunately I didn’t see enough actual smoking with this one to rate it in the top-tier despite her heavy consumption and terrible manners.  Still, it was an excellent appetizer to my county fair which was only two days away.

Fast forward to October when, after a full day of mediocre sightings at this same mall,  I was wrapping up the day driving laps around the mall and took notice of the same bench in the inverted space near Barnes and Noble to see an early 20s dark brunette smoking a cigarette.  I was able to get just close enough of a look on my drive past to discover it was the same girl from July who smoked four Camel Pink Lights during a half-hour period.  She clearly must have some close association with this mall even though she certainly wasn’t dressed in a work outfit.  It wasn’t quite the T-shirt and jean shorts she was wearing in the summer, but it was nonetheless a very casual T-shirt and jeans ensemble, with the medium-blue pair of jeans looking incredibly tight as she sat cross-legged talking into her phone.  The best I could do was take repeated laps around the lanes of the parking lot that led to her bench as even if I parked my car to approach her in person, I still wouldn’t be able to score an extended upclose sighting with her sitting at that inaccessible inverted bench.  So for the next 10 minutes I just circled laps around the lot, catching her in mid-drag on several occasions while chatting on the phone, occasionally releasing her smoke by way of talking exhales but usually just expelling nice streams of straight-ahead smoke from her mouth.  The girl wasn’t gorgeous and wouldn’t stand out in the crowd under normal circumstances, but the combination of her “girl-next-door sexy” outfits and her heavy smoking and obnoxious butt disposal gave her a needed extra sizzle that I couldn’t get enough of.

And I had a feeling I knew what was coming amidst my laps around the parking lot and she came through, obnoxiously flinging her spent butt to the ground next to the bench and making no attempt to crush it out, and then breezily opening her pack of Camel Pink Lights to extract another.  I wasn’t able to see the light-up but by the time my car was back there moments later she was smoking a freshly lit cigarette.  I made a couple more laps around the lot and caught a couple more drags while she continued to chat on the phone, but this pattern was growing tiresome and I wasn’t seeing what I wanted from it so eventually I just kept on driving.  By the time I was back to the spot near Barnes and Noble, my smoker was gone.  I pulled into the nearest parking spot and approached the bench, finding two Camel Pink Light butts that were very recently flung next to the bench by the young brunette cutie who smoked them.

Every time I go this mall now I approach this bench whenever it’s empty and check out all the rudely flung cigarette butts near it, and there are always several.  In the past, it was primarily Camel Pink No. 9s or Camel Pink Lights, but I was surprised when in early December it was mostly Camel Crush butts polluting the area.  I didn’t jump to any conclusions but about an hour into the day I was approaching the area on foot when a familiar face emerged from the bench and was heading towards the mall.  It was the decently attractive early 20s brunette in a blouse and jeans with some ruby red lipstick on her lips that I hadn’t noticed before.  She had clearly just smoked a cigarette at her favorite spot.  I approached the bench and, sure enough, two recently disposed-of Camel Crush butts were sitting next to the bench, both of them with lipstick stains, and one of them still smoldering.  She apparently has changed brands, but hasn’t changed her sociopathically obnoxious smoking style a bit.  Unfortunately the bench she chooses to sit on makes it a longshot I’ll ever get the caliber of upclose sighting needed to catapult this girl into my mall Hall of Fame, and I haven’t seen her since early 2015 so my window has likely passed.

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