My hopes were high on a steamy 92-degree late June 2013 day of going to Des Moines’ most upscale mall and seeing some sexy young female bodies draped in skimpy summer attire. Ideally of course, some of these sexy-dressed girls would be smokers. I traversed the mall for more than two hours a little disappointed in the quality of young girl flesh I came across, but greatly disappointed with the number of smokers I had seen. Some days just aren’t very successful seeking out smoker girls at the mall and this was one of them. However, I never really say die on these mall safaris, and even after I’ve finished walking around the mall for a few hours, I then proceed to drive laps around the mall in hopes of seeing something great before driving home. On several days, these laps around the mall are where I hit pay dirt, and this day was definitely one of them.
I was turning the corner around the sporting goods store to a relatively sparse exit on this mall’s northeast side when I spotted the most adorable teen brunette sitting by herself on a bench. It was one of those “awww” moments where a girl is so cute and so wholesome that it brightens your day just laying eyes on her. Okay, I thought to myself….there’s no way a girl like this is gonna be a smoker but I’m better off having seen her on this disappointing afternoon. Of course, a true-blue hard-core fetisher never fully dismisses the idea that a girl just might be a smoker, so I kept my eyes laser-focused on her as I pressed forward. And imagine by elation when she raised a cigarette from her left hand and took a drag as I turned the corner. As I said, I was at a sparse location of this mall and that worked to my advantage in terms of finding a parking spot. As I approached this brunette bombshell on foot, I began by lamenting the bench placement until I realized there was a bench parallel to hers that would allow me a literal front-row seat. The stars were really aligning here.
I took my seat and continued to admire this beautiful teen girl, who I would guess was 17 or 18. Upclose, she looked even sweeter than she did from a distance, and looking at the two-thirds smoked all-white cigarette in her left hand, I was in awe contemplating what unlikely course of events led a girl like this to become addicted to cigarettes. There she sat, wearing a very feminine canary yellow top with dark blue jean shorts underneath and heartbreakingly smooth legs extending out from them, all with a white bag sitting next to her from whatever upscale store she had just shopped at. It was hard to imagine I’d see a more unlikely girl smoking at the mall in the year 2013 as this girl.
As for the smoking, I got to see three additional drags, all of which were pretty respectable, but I was close enough that I was unable to just stare or she’d see me, so I did some fancy eyeball maneuvering and ended up missing her first exhale. Ultimately, I expected it was a sudden and abrupt exhale and that’s why I missed it, but after her next drag my timing was a little better. My eyes were darting every which direction hoping to catch something and thought I had missed it again….until I saw a messy blast of smoke spewing from her mouth and nose after a surprisingly extended holding period. It must have been five seconds that the smoke stayed inside this cutie’s lungs, which made me respect her even more. And then she raised the stakes even more with the sighting’s MVP moment, completely blowing my mind when she leaned to her right and let the most gigantic ball of saliva I’ve ever seen from a girl loose from her mouth seconds before it splattered onto the pavement.
Unfortunately, it was at this moment that she saw me eyeballing her. Perhaps coincidentally or perhaps because I was making her uncomfortable, she proceeded to get up and approach the ashtray, but not before taking one more drag. Thankfully, it was an open-faced ashtray so I’d be able to identify the butt when she wandered off. I watched from behind in admiration of her gorgeous “girl of summer” profile wearing that yellow top and jean shorts and progressing to her car. I snapped a rear photo of her but she was far enough away that you can’t see much. And as soon as she was out of sight, I walked up to the ashtray and identified her cigarette—the only all-white of the three butts in the ashtray—as a Marlboro Light.
I wandered back into the parking lot from there with a new spring in my step, planning to return to my car but finding myself walking past my favorite girl still sitting in her car….ironically a black Oldsmobile just like my own. She was looking over the receipt of whatever she just bought while idling the car. It gave me enough opportunity to get to my car, start it up and time my escape to coincide with hers. I ended up at a stoplight parallel to her briefly and got one last look at that sweet face, forcing me to once again ponder how a girl like this ever got to be a smoker in the year 2013. From there we went separate directions and I returned to the bench where she smoked, eager to see if there was a still a puddle of slobber that she left behind. Unsurprisingly given its girth, the spit pool was still bubbling and was about two inches by two inches in diameter on the pavement. Obviously this sighting has the potential to be more given that I only got to see three drags, but in terms of raw beauty and wholesomeness, she was the mall smoker girl to beat at that point in 2013, and although it was a close call she never did get beat.