#53. Meeting a Blond College-Age Smoker on Jury Duty


I showed up for jury duty for the first time in my life on a Monday morning in late May 2016.  I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t considered the possibility of there being young chicks from my preferred demographic in the jury room, but I was mostly hoping to be dismissed early and be out of there by the end of the day.  The latter didn’t happen and out of 326 people that showed up that morning, I ended up as one of 13 people who had to stick around for a trial.  Aside from the process being interesting, it turned out to be a magnet for me to connect with college-age girls in a way that exceeded my wildest imaginations.  Two of them, 19-year-old Katie and 23-year-old Elaine, both hot and in Katie’s case dressed in a low-cut blouse and daisy dukes like she was going out for a night of line dancing rather than for jury service, were on the jury with me and followed me around like puppies for the 2 1/2 days that the trial lasted, shamelessly flirting and sniffing around about my relationship status.  I never gave my age and have always looked 10 years younger than I am so I’m guessing they didn’t realize I was old enough to be their father, which made it all the more exciting.  Unfortunately, neither of these two smoked which I confirmed, but during the pretrial jury selection there was another girl who was a different story….

Almost immediately after I sat down in the packed jury room on Monday morning, two more college-age girls gravitated towards me.  One was named Amy who was dismissed right away, but the other was slender blond named Jennifer with blond hair and blue highlights.  She wasn’t gorgeous but attractive enough and dressed interestingly enough to keep me interested, decked out in a pair of skimpy black jean shorts with fishnet pantyhose.  She was 20 years old and a bartender in Des Moines, herself facing charges only a week later for serving alcohol to a minor.  She ended up going to the next round of jury selection with me but would ultimately be dismissed.  But there was a lunch break in the middle of jury selection that gave me my first opportunity to leave the building with her.  Imagine my elation when a pack of Camel Light Menthols was extracted from her purse…..

I was walking in front of her and I think she was stalling because she was probably bashful about being a smoker.  I peeked over my shoulder as she slowly followed and I slowed my own walking pace to let her catch up.  I had a comment to make about jury deliberations and used that as my opening.  She released an exhale and I happened to turn her direction to ask the question just in time to catch the exhale in the face for a direct hit.  At that moment I was quietly wishing to myself that I could be on jury duty every week!

I walked with her briefly but had business to attend to with my parking arrangement and couldn’t continue to follow her or dine with her, but fortunately I’d get another chance.  I spent most of the lunch hour walking the downtown blocks and getting a few above-average sightings of other young smoking gals, but got the timing right to see Jennifer light up another cigarette while approaching the courthouse and puffing away on the sidewalk before going back in.  I sat on the steps pretending to look at my phone and caught most of Jennifer’s cigarette.  No major stylish bells and whistles, but I nonetheless couldn’t believe my luck that a jury duty obligation turned into an opportunity to watch a smoking show from a scantily clad early 20s blond!

Jennifer and I talked for about 20 minutes inside the jury room.  There was a modest connection but not enough to exchange numbers.  We were called back in for jury selection and she was dismissed so that was the end of my experience with a college-age smoker, but only the beginning of my strange three days of getting fawned on by nonsmoking college girls on the actual jury.  It was a fun story to relay to my coworkers (minus the smoking fetish stuff) who agreed in unison that only I could turn jury duty into a dating service.

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