I had a classic fetisher’s instinct one Saturday afternoon in early June 2014 and had the sense and luck to follow it to sightings gold. I was in the final moments of my walk around the neighborhood when I saw two hot young things turning the corner a block ahead of me to walk southbound down a heavily trafficked street. I didn’t even see their faces as their backs were to me but immediately got that vibe that tobacco consumption was on the horizon. Even this distant and limited rear view was satisfying as I admired the girls’ shapely figures. One girl was a dark brunette in a black top and those unfortunate athletic shorts that are catching on but are completely lacking in sex appeal. The shorts were pink, which was cute, but her outfit didn’t grab me the way her friend’s did. The friend, who clearly had the better figure, was decked out in a tight pink T-shirt with a far more flattering pair of tight jean shorts that just seemed like a vintage summer outfit for a shapely young girl. All too soon, I had to turn westward down the residential block leading to my place. And as I walked that remaining block, I debated whether it was worth driving in my car to see if they were headed to the destination that would be the most fruitful. It was an obvious longshot, but I had nothing else to do and decided to take it.
I got in my car and headed down the thoroughfare, and sure enough, the girls were still walking and only a block or so away from the gas station that I hoped would be their destination, ideally on a cigarette run. The beauty part of this gas station, especially on a late Saturday afternoon, is that there are empty parking lots on both sides of it to park your car and observe entrances, and I took the wide open funeral home lot with a perfect vantage point of the gas station’s entrance. I was still watching them from across the street as they passed in front of me so I had yet to get a sufficiently close look at their faces, but they looked in the 19-20 range and thus old enough to buy cigarettes, and with bodies like that I had a hard time believing I could go wrong.
Right on cue, they walked into the gas station and I patiently awaited their exit. In about three minutes, the girls came out with bags in their hands. My expectations deflated a bit when I saw those mostly-full plastic bags, thinking it was probably more likely to have been a junk food run than a cigarette run. But they kept hovering in front of the entrance, tossing a couple of things from their purses into the garbage can and the more shapely girl began attending to something in her hands. In seconds, a white cylindrical object was dangling from her lips and my instinct was confirmed. Moments later, a flick from a lighter brought her cigarette to life….and a few seconds later, she extended her lighter to the friend’s dangling unlit cigarette and fired her up as well. It was gonna be an increasingly rare random sighting that I was positioned to watch in near entirety.
The girls started walking northbound on the same street they came from and having not been seen by them, I planned to follow across the street and watch the show. I sat in my car for a couple more moments as they walked by and got the first sense of their style. The shapely girl in the pink top and tight shorts was the better smoker with longer drags and very cloudy exhales. The darker brunette friend in the pink shorts took more frequent drags but her exhales weren’t nearly as cloudy. I got out of the car and began to follow, pleased with my positioning to observe them from behind at an angle, allowing me to see their faces and admire their style while remaining under their radars. The pattern continued of the shapely girl being the better smoker who took less frequent but more impressive drags while the friend–herself quite shapely but advertising it less gratuitously–kept taking shorter drags with thinner exhales. The girls were walking agonizingly slowly so I really had to drag my feet to keep my positioning behind them.
They walked past a driveway where a working-class family was hanging outside. The family may not have noticed anything, but it was still pretty hot that these barely legal girls were smoking cigarettes as they walked right in front of them. Towards the end of their smoking show, the girls stopped to take selfies in the middle of the sidewalk and I could no longer hang behind them, complicating my plans to cross the street and ID their butts when they disposed of them. Now I had to improvise and decided instead to walk ahead and then cross the street and head back in their direction, allowing me to finally get a closer look at them and possibly still get an ID on their butts if they disposed of them in a spot I could detect.
I made good on the plan at the next crosswalk and started walking towards the girls, now done with their selfies and their cigarettes. They barely made eye contact as we passed each other and my opinions on the girls’ appearances changed. The shapely girl was cute, but had a pair of nerdy glasses I had missed that reduced her sex appeal some. The darker brunette friend, on the other hand, was a wholesome knockout, far more beautiful than I expected, looking almost like a young Disney actress. After passing them, I paced the sidewalk slowly looking for cigarette butts. I was losing hope as I didn’t see any recently extinguished butts nearby but at one point got a whiff of cigarette smoke and figured the disposed butt had to be closeby. I peaked in the grass on both sides of the (thankfully) empty sidewalk until I saw the smoldering remains of a cork filter which I was able to identify as a Camel Blue. I didn’t know which girl had smoked it and didn’t find the other girl’s butt, but getting that brand ID was a final trophy of a sighting that had delivered way beyond expectations already.
From there, I headed back to my car and drove home. The girls’ slow walking pace was an asset once again as I took the long drive around the block–just in case–and found them heading to the cluster of apartments a block to my west. They weren’t smoking additional cigarettes, but I was able to get one final look at their sexy bodies and at the dark brunette’s adorable face. The most likely scenario is that these girls were a one-hit wonder, but suffice it to say I continued looking for them every time I approached the neighborhood gas station the rest of the summer, unfortunately never seeing them again.