#44. Jenna Bush Smoker Girl For a Neighbor


When I first moved to central Iowa in 2006, I lived in an apartment cluster that I enjoyed, but ultimately had to leave because I wasn’t getting any sleep due to the creaky ceilings whenever the girl who lived upstairs walked around.  But the best smoking memory I have from my two years in this building was the girl I came to know as the “Jenna Bush clone”.

She didn’t live in my building unfortunately so I never was in a situation where I could get to know her, but I started noticing her in the winter of 2006-2007.  She was tall and attractive, in her early 20s and quite possibly just out of college, with long light brown hair.  She frequently came out to her car at the same time I did, always dressed in business clothes which made it clear to me she wasn’t a college girl, but a young professional of some sort.  She very much resembled the always luscious Jenna Bush. Like clockwork, the first thing she did every morning after starting her car was place an all-white cigarette in her mouth and light up.

I didn’t catch her every morning, but usually three or four times a month my timing was perfect, and the girl never once failed me, always firing up a cigarette before driving off.   And the best part was that she took the same route to work as I did, at least for the first few miles.   She had a lead foot and was hard to keep up with, but on a few occasions, I was able to follow in the parallel lane of traffic and observe a few drags, a couple of times right up until the point where she tossed the all-white butt out her cracked window and I got to watch it hit the pavement.  She disappeared at some point in the summer or fall of 2007, but I got more than my share of visual thrills from this girl over those months.  At one point I found myself becoming incredibly attracted to her, but had no way of identifying her since she lived in the next building over.  I contemplated leaving a note under her windshield but most people advised against that.  In the end, she disappeared without any fanfare, leaving an incredible void to this day when I go outside to start my car in the morning.

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