#25. Target Field’s 2011 Smoky Encore


My introduction to Target Field, the new stadium of the Minnesota Twins, came in the summer of 2010, when I accompanied my friend Dan to a game and visited the stadium’s smoking area a couple of times, the second of which I scored two outstanding sightings of young hotties that was my third best random sighting of 2010 and #28 on my all-time random sighting list.  I hit another homerun in 2011 at the Target Field smoking area with a fine selection of new hotties, even outdoing the first year narrowly, a few of which gave me an appetizer before the game…

Dan and I were walking down to the outskirts of a bar and grill in the area where a former classmate of ours works as a waitress in the half hour before the game started.  I wasn’t particularly crazy about the long walk that led to this area since it would mean we wouldn’t get to the game in time for me to see the smoking area in the moments before the game started, when it seemed likely to be full of people.  Nonetheless, I’m forever grateful that Dan decided to make this long walk to this bar because what we would see on the walk back to the stadium was the first moment of blockbuster-ness of the evening….

Right in front of us was a cluster of about five girls…all early 20s, all attractive…in the very early stages of cigarette consumption.  Our timing was impeccable as a couple of the girls had clearly just lit up, but there was a third girl, a dark brunette whose hair hung over her shoulders in braided pigtails, who was holding an unlit cigarette between her fingers and seemed to be scrambling for some reason.  It became quickly evident why she was scrambling as she placed the unlit cigarette in her mouth.  She couldn’t find her lighter.  That’s when it happened. One of the friends handed the girl her own recently lit cigarette and she proceeded to hold the cherry of the first cigarette to her own unlit cigarette, bringing it to life.  We walked a good block behind this cluster and managed not to lose them in the crowd.  The only downside of the sighting was that the most attractive girl in the group, another brunette with braided pigtails, was the only nonsmoker of the quintet.  Still, none of the other girls were anything to sneeze at and there was a really wholesome lighter brunette smoker in the mix that was probably my favorite of the five smokers.  If this wasn’t enough, we were in the general proximity of three more attractive young smokers as well in that walk towards the Target Field gate.  It wasn’t quite to a level of sensory overload but was nonetheless a lot to take in in just a few wonderful minutes.

We arrived at the gate, got inside and found our seats right before the opening pitch.  After an uneventful second inning, I made my move to explore the smoking area.  I felt my excitement rise as I descended two escalators down to the smoking area and stepped outside.  Once again, it was a sea of smoke down there and it was reasonably well populated, but not elbow to elbow.  There were a number of reasonably attractive gals, but just like that first trip out to the smoking area last summer, nothing jumped out and grabbed me.  And it was only a matter of time until it happened and it did….some guy standing by himself out there looked towards me and said in a thick European accent “You’re not smoking?” to which I responded that “Nah, I’m out here waiting for someone”.  This could have gone awkwardly as we began chatting and he told me about how this was his first baseball game and he was clearly an immigrant from somewhere in Europe.  But another cluster came up and distracted him at which point I fled to a different corner of the smoking area before retreating, disappointed by my venture to the smoking area but knowing another opportunity awaited me a few innings later.

I returned to the game and decided the 7th inning stretch would make for a good time to return.  Just like last year, my timing was amazing.  The area was more crowded and the number of attractive girls feeding their smelly addictions had noticeably increased.  Right away catching my eye was an Americanized-looking Asian girl who looked EXACTLY like an adopted Asian girl named Anne who went to my high school.  I highly doubt this was her but she nonetheless looked amazingly similar but for one difference….she was a truly awesome smoker.  She had a perfect face without any of the heavily ethnic Asian features.  She was in the midst of texting and doing what girls do when they text….dangling.  The cigarette dangled from the right side of her mouth at angle and looked so natural hanging there, and even more natural when she took an epic dangling drag, with the cigarette stiffening between her puckered up lips for a moment before she released the grasp on it and let it dangle loosely again, with smoke spilling out of her mouth and nose casually.  She very briefly removed the cigarette from her mouth but then put it back in at the same adorable position it was before….and continued to dangle and dangle and dangle for another 45 seconds or so.  It was one of the most natural looking dangles I’ve ever seen from one of the most wholesome-looking Asian girls I’ve ever seen.  This was the best dangle I saw in 2011 yet the girl was only the second best I would encounter during this outing.

The relentless pipeline of nicotine-starved people strutted on out through the gate one after another after another, and one of the cluster of guys and gals that emerged really drew my attention….specifically one girl in the cluster.  Now I didn’t get to see any deliciously slutty shorts and tanktop combos with the cold weather that evening, but this was the hottest outfit I would see….a pair of tight white pants and a red top with exposed shoulders…and this outfit was worn by a platinum blond bombshell who upon first glance looked exactly Carrie Underwood.  Up close, the resemblance to Underwood wasn’t as uncanny, but she still had a certain Carrie vibe to her both in her choice of clothing and that blond hair.  But one thing that she doesn’t have at all in common with Carrie was the all-white cigarette that was soon produced between her fingers.  She lit up and I had a good vantage point to watch her.  She was a little too engaged in her conversation as her drags were sometimes too far apart for my preference, but she more than made up for them when she did take a drag….

There were some eerie similarities to 2010′s Target Field sightings day, and none more eerie than what came next.  Last year’s blonde cutie distinguished herself by placing her cigarette in the far right corner of her mouth when she took a drag.  It’s the only time I recall seeing a girl who did this habitually…until that night…when this year’s most beautiful blonde from the Target Field smoking area proceeded to place her cigarette in the far right corner of her mouth to take every drag as well.  Her style wasn’t bad, and was accentuated by her frequent neck-tilting exhales where she shot her plume of smoke into the night sky.  And this girl had one more surprise for me.  Some dudes were exiting the smoking area and heading back towards the gate when one of them found himself stepping into blondie’s cherry and burning himself mildly.  Blondie took immediate note of the human toll exacted by her smelly addiction and affectionately said to the man “Oh I’m sorry sweetheart.  Are you okay?” at which point the guy made clear he would live.  You have no idea how badly I wanted to walk over at that moment and step into her cigarette so I too could get the same consolation.

And while I was watching Carrie Underwood 2.0′s sighting transpire, three familiar faces were coming out into the smoking area…it was three of the four smoker girls who Dan and I were following into the game a couple of hours earlier.  The same beauties were out again, and one of them (the lighter brunette who I found to be the most attractive of the smokers) had drifted in front of the other two and got briefly separated.  Apparently, her desire for an immediate nicotine fix was such that the other girls were physically unable to keep pace.  That left the other two, a dirty blonde and the aforementioned dark brunette with braided pigtails, looking around and the dark brunette asking “Where’s Megan?” before they soon found her again.  Megan stood there already a drag into her recently lit cigarette and soon the other two were joining her, placing cigarettes into their mouths.  But just like last time, there was one problem.  The dark brunette with the braided pigtails didn’t have her lighter.  So for the second time in the past 2 1/2 hours, I got to see the dirty blonde friend hand her just-lit cigarette to Miss Pigtails and then watch Pigtails use her friend’s cigarette to fire up her own….and it was just as cute to see it the second time as it was the first.

From there I went back inside in a state of ecstasy, returning to the game and giddily describing what I saw to Dan, who true to form, seemed embarrassed about others overhearing my ravings.  I was now able to settle in for the last inning and a half of the game, which had been exciting across the board and ended with a game-winning single by the Twins.  Great ending to a great night of fetishing.

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