2016 Missouri State Fair


I had an appetizer of sorts in the hour before I got to the Missouri State Fairgrounds on Saturday.  In the pantheon of “girls who got away”, near the top of my list is a girl named Shelby who I met online four years ago when she still lived in Iowa, but only a couple of weeks after we met she felt compelled to transfer out of the school she was attending and move back to Missouri to be closer to family.  I felt a strong connection to Shelby and kept the line of communication open after she left.  We’ve remained good friends since but she married and had a little girl two years ago.  I’d never met her in person but she lives not too far from the Missouri State Fairgrounds so I inquired if she’d like to get together for lunch when I came down.  She brought the husband and daughter which I was fine with since I didn’t want to make her feel like I was making a play to break up her marriage, but we had a good lunch and she wrapped it up with a Marlboro Smooth in the parking lot and a stinky hug before we parted.  It was a little sad to realize that with better timing her and I could be together but it was a very satisfying meeting and put me in good spirits heading to Sedalia for my second Missouri State Fair a half hour away.

It was going up to 1:00 before I pulled into the state fairgrounds, leaving me with 11 hours for fetishing.  The dark skies were clearing out and it was gonna be great weather with a nice breeze and temps right around 80 degrees.  Everything was in place for a great day at the fair, and it didn’t seem too far-fetched given the fairly localized nature of this fair and the fact that I was going on the same Saturday as last year that I’d get an encore from last year’s “12-hour sighting trio”, the chainsmoking early 20s babes who gave me the best sighting of all of 2015 by leaps and bounds and one of the most comprehensive sightings of my entire life.  Well they didn’t show up.  And since those three represented just about everything worth seeing at last year’s Missouri State Fair, my day was a disappointment.  The crowds at Missouri’s fair never approach those of Minnesota or Iowa so despite more smokers generally in Missouri, the sightings count never gets as high.  Luckily, it was a Saturday with nice weather and there was a Lady Antebellum concert in the evening that drew a good-sized crowd by Missouri State Fair standards so I ended up with a higher sightings number count than last year–93 compared to last year’s 77–but bear in mind that I was distracted for hours by last year’s “trio” so it’s not an even comparison.  Objectively, I had my share of extra-base hits, but as has been the case all fair season, I’m struggling with those home runs.  And this Missouri State Fair will be more than anything else defined by two potential top-tier superstars who were confirmed smokers that I got a “barely sighting” and a “no sighting at all” from, so be prepared for a heartbreaking read.

Almost right inside the gate I scored my first sighting, a slightly chubby mid-20s dark blond who was a very modest reward but good enough to count.  I ran into this a lot last year in Missouri and did again this year.  While there were plenty of babes, there was also a disproportionate number of redneck smoker girls who looked good from behind but had a horse face or meth mouth when you got up close.  I’d rate Minnesota and Iowa girls as more attractive on balance.  The first few sightings I had were reminders of that, and there were plenty of instances where I was on the fence as to whether the girl in question was attractive enough to count or not.

Continuing the redneck theme was Sighting #4 who came on the midway, a modestly attractive light brunette navigating the grounds with her mother and who looked about eight months pregnant as she unashamedly smoked a cigarette.  I still get occasional pregnant smoker sightings, but it’s been about three years now since I’ve seen one so blatant and unapologetic as the two of them got in line for midway tickets moments later with the mommy-to-be still smoking as she stood in line.

Missouri’s state fair midway was a giant disappointment last year despite my wishes to see lots of teen smokers there, but right away on Saturday it was coming through with some decent sightings.  But there was one girl I saw on my first two passes who was not smoking but really locked in my interest.  It was this incredibly wholesome dark brunette who looked about 22 and was wearing a black tanktop and a skin-tight pair of white shorts that demanded to be leered at.  There’s nothing sexier than a summer girl who wears a pair of white shorts that perfectly, but I looked at that face on both midway encounters with her and thought to myself, “Yeah right…a girl like her is really gonna smoke this day and age!” before moving on.  I would instead settle for Sighting #6, this mid-20s redhead in a flower-print summer dress walking out of the midway with a pack of Marlboro 27s in her hand.  I already counted her as a smoker based on the pack but was hopeful her female friend, there with her boyfriend, with a hotter body and wearing white shorts would light up.  They’d migrate into this open-air bar and grill and the redhead immediately lit up a Marlboro.  The blond and her boyfriend did not.  Every time I walked past this place for hours I’d check in.  The blond and her boyfriend had left quickly after without smoking, but were replaced by other family and friends.  I saw the redhead smoking three times over several afternoon hours but I can’t say the girl did much for me despite the heavy smoking and feminine presentation.

My first extra-base hit of the day came with Sighting #8, a sighting I caught based purely on fetisher’s instinct as I spotted this duo of mid-teen girls walking my direction from the side and noticed one of them had her right hand slightly cupped with her thumb and forefinger pinched together.   I held back for a moment to get a closer look as she approached, and sure enough, it was a 16-ish girl with a cigarette!  This is the sort of thing I figured would be most likely to see in Missouri compared to Iowa or Minnesota.  Now neither girl in this duo was exactly homecoming queen material but it was definitely the better of the two who was smoking.  She had that weird combination of blond hair mixed in with a light blue that I’ve seen quite a bit of lately among teen girls, wearing a revealing purple tanktop and jean shorts.  She didn’t have a great body but there was nothing wrong with it, and the face was modestly attractive.  Twenty years ago this wouldn’t have been an extraordinary moment at all, but following this mid-teen girl as she openly smoked a cigarette in a venue this public in the middle of the afternoon gave me some hope for the future.  She wasn’t a bad smoker either, taking very nicely paced drags and producing worthy exhales.  I was going nuts with the camera and captured several decent photos, including in mid-drag.  The carnival worker Newport teen at the Iowa State Fair late Wednesday night was a prettier girl but this one nonetheless got me excited.  She dropped out a curiously small cigarette butt after about three minutes of performing and I approached the butt to find out she had broken the filter off.  Seems like a pretty hard-core move for a 16-year-old girl and I was even more impressed.  The butt was a Pall Mall.  I saw her and the friend one more time a couple of hours later but no more smoking.

And right when I was about to get some fairly impressive momentum, I had a scare as my phone started producing this prompt that the keyboard has stopped working.  I typically text a friend of mine serial numbers for sightings poised to get a writeup so I will remember them when I get to my computer later, but I couldn’t do that now…nor could I text anyone.  I didn’t know if I had a serious phone problem or if I had just pocket-dialed a settings change that really screwed me up (in the end it appears that’s what happened because I took it to Best Buy and they were able to salvage it).  It was nonetheless not good for morale, and I wondered if all the photos I was taking at the fair and on the rest of my vacation would be stuck on a broken phone.  Logistically it was also a big problem because I continually got prompts the keyboard doesn’t work even while I was trying to snap photos on the sly.  Just one more impediment on a day that would be a struggle overall.

Despite that setback, I was enjoying my spurt of momentum as the immediately ensuing Sighting #9 was excellent too.  If you’re lucky there are a few times a day when you spot a very special girl with a cigarette that perks you up instantly.  My first girl of the day who fit that description was this late 20s redhead with a mane of lustrous red hair going all the way down her back and a sexy face with the weathering of a long-time heavy smoker.  Making the presentation even more jaw-dropping was the stylish black leather jacket she wore along with a pair of skin-tight jeans and boots.  She looked like she came out of the late 80s in many ways and was seated on a bench with a group of family and/or friends, only one other of whom was smoking.   The bench was isolated enough that I couldn’t get close enough to take good pics so I had to attempt a few pics from afar, none close enough to get anything worthwhile.  She was a nice smoker though, with some solid drags and very cloudy exhales that her mostly nonsmoking group was forced to choke on sitting in such close proximity to her.  I got to see about seven drags before she unfortunately stood up and dropped the cigarette into one of those God forsaken “smoker’s outposts” and denied me the butt ID.  The good news was she and her group were heading my direction to go into the DNR building, the entrance of which I was sitting next to.  This was my chance to get a photo….but that “keyboard stopped working” prompt screwed me over repeatedly and kept me from getting a photo before she got inside.  The best I could do was walk in behind and get a couple of blurry pics in the dark building.  One of the blurry pics does capture her form in that incredible leather jacket, tight jeans, and boots combination though.  After dark, I’d see this girl again and while she wasn’t smoking, I managed to get a close look at her face and body again, and she was an absolute standout sexpot.  Even with the challenging logistics and fairly limited sighting, this year’s fair sightings haul have been mediocre enough that I could easily see this girl making this year’s top-25.  She was certainly worthy of a top-tier position had I seen more.

The momentum continued with Sighting #10 as I was approaching the Chuck and Dee’s bar where the majority of last year’s “12-hour sighting” played out and came upon an outdoor bench where a visible hottie with a cigarette sat with several others.  It was a long-haired light brunette wearing a ball cap, black tanktop and jean shorts who looked about 30 and also had the weathered look of a long-time smoker.  I sat down on an adjacent bench which was good for viewing and picture-taking and I snapped a handful.  Sitting next to the light brunette smoker was this more fresh-faced darker brunette who didn’t have the body of the smoker but nonetheless intrigued me a little more.  She was fidgeting around on her phone but I could see an all-white cylinder in her left hand and figured it was an unlit cigarette she was gonna fire up as soon as there was a break in her texting.  Unfortunately, it was an e-cigarette….the older kind that are actually shaped like cigarettes that I hardly ever see anymore.  Once she started vaping, I immediately lost interest and focused entirely on the actual smoker next to her for the rest of the cigarette.  No real bells and whistles or storyline but it was a solid sighting that kept my spirits relatively high that I was gonna have a good day.

Another run through the midway yielded another winner in Sighting #13, a family of smokers sighting where presumably mom, dad, and a mid-20s daughter were all standing by the benches smoking.  There were apparently other family/members of their group who weren’t smoking hovering nearby away from the ciggie stench but there was ample room on a nearby bench for me to observe and snap a few pics, although none captured this gal the way I had hoped.  She was a dark blond in sunglasses whose hair was held up by both headband and ponytail, wearing a neon yellow tanktop and dark jeans.  She was relatively plain jane looks-wise but attractive enough for me to sit down and watch upclose given the dynamic, and hot damn what a great smoker she was with multiple no-purpose dangles and dangling drags, all done while chatting with her parents over shared consumption of tobacco.  I would have scored some fantastic dangling photos if not for that damn keyboard prompt on my phone which repeatedly sabotaged the photos that required precision timing like the dangling and dragging ones…and when I did get the timing right she turned her head and botched the shot.  Either way it was one of the better sightings of the day in terms of style and I got to see most of the cigarette smoked before she crushed it out.  I didn’t get a formal ID butt but seeing it dangle in her mouth for so long the color scheme looked very much like a Camel Blue.

I was really ticking the sightings off in those early afternoon hours and got another extra-base hit with Sighting #16, this light brunette whose ponytailed hair came out of a ball cap and whose nice body was draped in a black tanktop and jeans.  There was an unfortunate tattoo on her forearm but she had a pretty face that made up for her ho-hum presentation, and was standing outside one of the commercial buildings smoking all by herself.  She wasn’t dressed as though she was a fair employee but I got the impression right away that’s what she was as I watched her smoke standing in isolation and took a bench right next to her where I snapped photos and watched the show.  It was very solid as she dragged copiously and released some nice, cloudy exhales.  My positioning with her standing behind me could have been better but I saw enough to get some enjoyment before she crushed the cigarette out and walked back into the building, reinforcing my impression she was likely a worker at one of the commercial stands.  Her cigarette butt was an L & M menthol, and L & M seems to be very, very popular in Missouri.  I was fortunate enough to get another sighting of this girl a couple of hours later and watched her emerge from this same building, only this time walking around and then hovering in the area near this line for an indoor circus.  It was a great location for me to stand nearby and watch her smoke, and she put on another great performance of nicely timed drags with hugely cloudy exhales that really satisfied.

Now the day hadn’t been going quite as well as those first two hours at last year’s Missouri State Fair when I was neck deep in the “trio’s” all-day performance, but I was pleased with my haul so far.  Unfortunately, things were about to take a troubling turn in the immediate aftermath of my most exciting revelation thus far during fair season.  I was walking by this seating area next to a bunch of food vendors when my eyes locked on Sighting #20.  But she of Sighting #20 wasn’t just an ordinary smoker girl…..this was the wholesome brunette in the tight white shorts I saw twice on the midway in the prior hours and dismissed outright as a possible smoker, yet there she was with a cigarette smoldering between her fingers as she sat across the table from some bubba of a boyfriend who wasn’t smoking.  Jackpot, I thought to myself as I migrated towards a bench in direct view of her and watched her raise the cigarette to her lips and take a honey of a drag, releasing a three-pronged exhale out of her mouth and nostrils.  As I took my seat and readied my phone, I thought to myself that this was gonna be the logistical perfection I’ve awaited all summer…..a split second before she tossed the cigarette to the grass.  Nooooo!  It looked like there was plenty of it left too so I was especially distraught.  I nonetheless snapped a couple of pics which aren’t bad given how upclose they were but she was sitting there leaning her chin into her hand so you don’t fully get to appreciate her beautifully wholesome face.  The couple was no longer eating yet stuck around there, acting as though they were waiting for someone.  Maybe she’ll light up another I thought to myself, watching out of the corner of my eye every time her hand moved towards her purse, but always to pick up her phone and fire off another text.  I sat there a good 15 minutes determined to wait her out for as long as she was willing to sit there, and listened to her banter about her job with the boyfriend, not seeming to be too thrilled with the CNA job I suspected she was talking about but avoiding a complaining tone that may have lessened her charm.  I hope this Missouri redneck guy with her has a clue how lucky he is to be in the company of this sexy hottie…..

Unfortunately, they blinked before I did and got up to leave in about 15 minutes.  I walked behind and snapped a pic of her incredible ass in those tight white shorts, albeit a little further back than I’d have preferred to keep from getting busted.  I was disappointed by the minimal payoff but simply knowing that this quintessential Midwestern cutie was indeed addicted to nicotine gave me some satisfaction. But c’mon, these Missouri State Fairgrounds aren’t that big and surely I’d run into her smoking again, right?  Well I didn’t….and it stuck in my craw for hours afterwards as the sightings became less frequent and more forgettable moving forward.  I went back to ID her discarded butt and it was another L & M, consistent with the bright red box shape I spotted just the corner of poking out of her purse.  I’m better off knowing she smokes but it almost hurts more to know that she does but I didn’t get a significant sighting from her.  This one left a bruise….and she wouldn’t be the only one from Saturday who would either.

As I said, the brakes came on almost immediately after that sighting and the next few hours were as dull as dull could be, interestingly following the same odd pattern as last year where, after a glowing first few hours with my “trio”, the late afternoon and early evening hours were downright abysmal.  One of the few bright spots was a cluster of younger women in their late 20s and 30s standing in a circle chatting about motherhood, a couple of them smoking.  Only one of them was attractive enough to count though and that was Sighting #23, a long-haired dark blond in a white blouse and blue jeans with a nice slender body.  I only saw a couple of drags before she was finished though.

I got a more comprehensive sighting for Sighting #26, a mother-daughter sighting on the midway featuring a 50-something gray-haired mom and an attractive blond daughter in sunglasses, a pink blouse and jeans whose age alluded me.  She was quite attractive and could have passed for 28 but she carried herself slightly older and I figured she might have been as old as 35.  They were hovering around the center of the midway as if waiting for somebody and attended to their all-white cigarettes, putting on a very nice show.  The daughter was an adept smoker taking very timely drags and putting some real thrust into inhaling before exhaling following some solid hold times.  I got a couple of good pics in but fumbled a couple others that I figured would have been better.  I found a bench with a nice vantage point and watched the daughter finish her cigarette, ultimately dropping it to the pavement.  I marked where she dropped the cigarette and looped around the midway to ID the butt a few minutes later.  It was a Salem 100!  I haven’t seen a woman smoking a Salem in ages.  Nice break to the late afternoon monotony for me.

The hours trudged along in the 6:00 time frame and my morale was sinking, buoyed only by memories of the huddle of young people that forms on the beer garden block that paid off handsomely for me in the evening hours last year.  Plus that Lady Antebellum concert appeared to be drawing a decent-sized crowd, even though little was materializing from it on the smoking front thus far.  Sighting #33 was a gal standing outside a bar who looked at least half-Asian who I caught towards the end of her cigarette and was putting on a pretty impressive stylistic show before finishing it off.  It was probably the best I had seen in two hours at that point though.

The midway, a complete letdown for me in 2015, was producing nearly all of my good sightings during that dead period on Saturday and was once again the case with Sighting #37, a blond mid-20s mommy smoking a cigarette standing outside the slide waiting for her daughter to get off.  She was quite attractive wearing sunglasses, a black-and-white striped T-shirt and jean shorts.  I stopped to admire her show and take some pics, but quickly heard her say to the daughter, “Leah I’m gonna stand over here”, and my suspicion is she was moving because she was onto me watching her.  I hovered from the awkward vantage point and watched a little more of her show after she moved.  It was a good show but not close enough up to get as excited about as I would have been had she continued smoking where she originally stood.

It was going up to 8:00 and I was officially in despair as the lines for the Lady Antebellum concert were getting longer and the grounds were as busy as they’ve ever been, but nobody was smoking.  I finally got a sight for sore eyes with Sighting #42, this strawberry blond in a black tanktop and white shorts who was hanging outside a bar and grill smoking a cigarette in the presence of a nonsmoking boyfriend who looked considerably older than her.  I tend to date younger girls myself so it’s possible there was the 15-year age difference there appeared as this cutie looked 30 at the most.  I got a couple of pretty solid pics of her but didn’t get to see a ton of smoking and what I did see didn’t stand out stylistically.  It would have helped to observe from a seated vantage point but that was out of the question here.  The boyfriend/husband walked towards some free entertainment stage under a tent and the girl lost her cigarette before going in there.  She was smoking a Newport.  Wished I’d have been able to see more from her.

Another sighting that started out promisingly came quickly after as I watched a very hot early 20s blond and brunette duo walking out of the beer gardens walking outside, the blond holding a pack of Marlboro Lights.  I followed them anticipating greatness and couldn’t have been more excited seeing the blond open up her pack and light one up to become Sighting #43.  The brunette, who was even hotter than the blond, sadly did not follow suit.  Making matters worse, the girls were walking westward down this corridor by the farm equipment with the setting sun directly in my eyes.  My photos obviously weren’t turning out….and I couldn’t even really see much of the smoking with the sun so directly in my eyes.  Thankfully, after this very long stretch of walking into the sun, the girls turned southward to an increasingly remote part of the grounds.  I was at least able to snap a couple of rear photos but the blond was a very slow smoker and it eventually became clear the girls were heading to the parking lot to leave.  I could have tried to follow but with as slow as the blond’s smoking was it increasingly seemed not worth the risk, so I turned around disappointed once again.  It occurred to me after this sighting that part of my problem on Saturday was that I was never seeing more than one girl smoking at once, even in groups.  Back in the day, my numbers used to add up when there’d be groups of two or three girls smoking together but I just wasn’t seeing that Saturday….and less in general for that matter.

The sun had set and the evening concert began with country newcomer Kelsea Ballerini opening for Lady Antebellum.  Sightings were nowhere to be seen and I was beyond frustrated.  After Kelsea finished singing, there was an intermission before Lady Antebellum got up there and thus a built-in smoke break for nicotine-addicted females in the crowd.  Unfortunately, behind the grandstand at the Missouri State Fair is an open air bathroom air with a fence on the outer end, meaning I had to hover at this fence and awkwardly look in to see smoking activity.  It was worth it though as there was a group of early 20s gals hanging out in the general line for the bathroom and two of them were smoking, one blond and one brunette and both hot.  That’s right folks…..two girls smoking!!!  At the same time!!!  At the Missouri State Fair!!!!  Sightings #49 and #50 to be exact.  The brunette intrigued me more of the two but they were both hot, but once again I got screwed because they BOTH had their backs to me for 90% of the sighting.  I only saw a couple brief snippets where they turned their heads to exhale and revealed one side of their faces.  I stood there for about three minutes waiting for what I hoped would be an inevitable reward, but the reward I’d get would actually come when I turned my head to my right to scope out the scene outside the grandstand…..

As I turned to my right, I spotted a fresh-faced teenage blond in a white bare-midriffed top and daisy dukes I had seen earlier on the grounds and gotten a smoker vibe from.  She and a boyfriend illuminated their isolated walking spot when they both lit cigarettes.  Suddenly I was vacating the grandstand fence in a hurry to get a look at this show, and I finally got the timing and logistics right for Sighting #51.  I had figured she was 18 but she may have been younger given how sneaky she was being about smoking, lurking in the sparse southeast side of the grounds and walking between buildings with the boyfriend as she smoked.  It was now dark, especially in the poorly lit area these two were walking, so photo-taking was out of the question, but as I followed at a comfortable distance and was impressed with the pacing and how the darkness illuminated the cherry every time she dragged.  She and the boyfriend migrated to a better lit area as they got towards the end of their cigarettes and I was able to see her face.  She wasn’t a classic beauty but she was a girl-next-door type with an innocent face and it was so wonderful to know she smokes, and appeared to be a pretty adept smoker at that.  She dropped the butt to the pavement and crushed it out, finishing her cigarette quite a bit sooner than the boyfriend finished his.  The butt was a Marlboro Red Special Blend.  This was the burst of adrenaline I needed for the evening hours where things did get better.

The pace of sightings FINALLY began to pick up and I got an interesting one in Sighting #54 when I saw a couple in their early-to-mid 30s where the gal was smoking a fairly large cigar.  She was only modestly attractive and not young enough for it to really get me off the way I would if she was 10 or 15 years younger, but her comfort level smoking this cigar as she walked was at least a little gratifying and I kept pace with them for a good 100 yards watching her take a few drags.  Just when I was about to drift away, she held up the cigar to the mouth of the boyfriend/husband and offered him a drag, sticking the wet, stinky cigar butt moistened by her mouth right up in his face as he took a drag and then she reclaimed it as her own.  If this gal was gorgeous and/or quite a few years younger, this would have been quite the exceptional moment for me.

The next older-than-my-usual sighting was more my speed in terms of the gal though, as I walked down the line with bars and spotted Sighting #55, this 30ish long-haired dark blond with a pretty face and an incredible body smoking an all-white in the presence of two guys who were also smoking.  She wore a green top and very tight jeans around her perfect figure.  I hovered to watch bits and pieces of a great smoking show, but there’s a logistical downside even on this block full of bars that seems to draw so many smokers in the evening, and that’s the awkward crowd presence with nearly nowhere to observe unless you’re right up in their faces.  I did this for a bit and saw some nice smoking from a long-time pro close enough that I could tell her brand was Marlboro Light Menthol 100s but she was a fairly slow smoker and it was very hard to linger.  Luckily, this gal came through a couple more times as I saw her smoking three cigarettes over the course of the evening, although none of her smoking shows took place anywhere where I could stick around for more than a few drags.

There’s a set of bathrooms a short distance from the block of bars that tend to draw a lot of smokers.  The best of this group I’d see last Saturday was Sighting #57, an attractive 20-something blond puffing on an all-white while chatting with a group of mixed-gender nonsmoking friends.  She was dressed conservatively in a white top and jeans but she had a face that stood out, holding a pack of Camel Light Menthols in her hand.  There was (wait for it!) no good place to stand and watch but I found as good of a spot as I could about 15 yards away.  She was another agonizingly slow smoker and appeared by her mediocre technique to likely be a social smoker, but I still got some gratification over the fact that she was the only person in this group willing to smoke a cigarette at this time, so if she is a social smoker, she certainly wasn’t doing it here to be “sociable”.

The Lady Antebellum concert was nearing its end and I hadn’t yet given up hope yet on finding something great.  I was heading towards the grandstand awaiting a mass of humanity departing the show but was sidetracked by Sighting #65, this tall light brunette hottie who was the only smoker in a group of four early 20s gals.  They were getting a jump on the post-concert bathroom traffic and headed towards the bathroom nearest the grandstand.  This tall brunette in her black top and jean shorts was the standout beauty in the group and I was originally very excited to see her smoking, but her cigarette was pretty freshly lit so I was distraught that she was getting in line for the bathroom, knowing the show would end way sooner than it had to.  She took a couple of nice back to back drags standing in line, oblivious to others in line who may not have appreciated the stinky fumes she was exhaling, but as she approached the bathroom entrance she dropped the less-than-half smoked cigarette to the pavement immediately in front of the entrance.  That was kind of sexy in itself, but not as sexy as a full cigarette sighting would have been.

Before the bulk of the Lady Antebellum concert departure, I took one more jaunt down the block of bars and stumbled into another rare multiple-girl sightings that began with Sightings #67 and #68, two 19-20ish girls in a group standing amidst a group of four girls.  One was a decently attractive dark brunette but the girl who captured my fancy was this wholesome blond in a turquoise top and jean shorts who looked just a little out of place with cigarette in hand.   She took her first drag and it wasn’t bad at all, but better yet she turned to the brunette smoker and exhaled directly into her face as she began to talk.  I watched two more very nice drags and exhales from her and was really getting into this sighting until I saw the blond offering up the cigarette to one of the nonsmokers in the cluster who turned her down.  But another modestly attractive late teen blond showed up and immersed herself in the group, and the next thing I knew she had a half-smoked cigarette in her mouth and the other blond no longer had hers.  The good news is that this sighting turned into a three-for-one with the addition of the newcomer, but the bad news is Sighting #69 didn’t do as much for me as the blond who preceded her.  The new girl had a nice body and wouldn’t be bad looks-wise but had the unfortunate inverted chin look that undermined her a lot.  She finished off the cigarette and dropped it in the grass on her walk to the bathroom.  I’d see the newcomer blond smoking again not long afterwards but she was now immersed in another group.

There was a modest amount of smoking to see as the crowds departed from the grandstand after the Lady Antebellum concert, a process that thankfully lasted quite a while, but far and away the best sighting that emerged from this departing crowd was Sighting #74, this early 20s blond with a mane of very long hair coming out of the back of her ball cap and hanging all the way down her back.  She had a lot of junk in the trunk inside her short jean shorts, and in some cases that’s not attractive, but she was one of those girls who makes a big caboose look fantastic.  But the best part about this blond hottie was her smoking show, which was outstanding.  Her drags were fierce and done in rapid succession, indicating she was clearly in the middle of a huge nicotine craving after sitting in that long concert so long.  But the most adorable part of her routine was the exhales.  Here she was, very clearly waiting and looking for somebody after this show amidst this mass of humanity leaving the concert, and exhaling her smoke as carelessly and recklessly as humanly possible as she wandered about.  The entire way she handled herself with the cigarette was pretty reckless and I’m pretty amazed that a dozen people didn’t end up with flesh wounds because of it, but those exhales were simply amazing as several people bathed in the exhales of this bull in a china shop smoker cutie.  I watched her smoke the entire cigarette and it didn’t take long for her to do so at the fast pace she smoked, and when she was done, she just tossed the butt to the pavement still smoldering.  I checked out the discarded butt and it was, surprise, another L & M, although this one with blue lettering.  Not sure what the blue lettering represents on L & Ms.  I know the green are menthol and the brown are reds.  Whatever the case, great sighting…and it was about to be followed by the evening version of the early afternoon’s heartbreaker.

I was walking towards the most heavily populated bar on the block and as I weaved my way through the crowds, I found myself looking into a canyon of teenage cleavage propped up in the most perfect possible way a couple of feet in front of my face in this candy apple red tanktop.  Those who read my writeups know that I’m instinctively more of an ass and leg man than a boob man, so if a girl has boobs impressive enough to draw my attention to this degree, you know it’s a big deal.  Going further south, the presentation was even more astounding with this pair of acid-washed medium blue daisy dukes that caressed an insanely well-sculpted ass and were cut at exactly the right place to show off a perfect pair of legs.  A more perfect late teen body could not be designed even in a human cloning lab!  The face wasn’t quite as perfect.  She was certainly attractive, a solid 8 on the 1-10 spectrum, but not in a stand-out-in-the-crowd sort of way in comparison to everything below the neck. As this incredible female specimen turned around and began to walk away, I noticed a pack of L & M Reds stuffed into the left back pocket of her daisy dukes.   I was beside myself with joy knowing this girl smoked, and seeing the cigarettes in her back pocket was enough to count her as Sighting #75.   She and another friend who looked about 18 held onto each other’s shirts so as not to lose themselves as they navigated through this dense crowd en route to a different spot.  I was able to keep tabs on them as they migrated to a less packed area and began to hover at that spot.  There was a railing parallel to it where I could observe largely inconspicuously while still checking out people walking by who might be smokers.  It looked like I had this situation whipped and was gonna get a sighting from this girl one way or another…..

I waited and waited and waited for a good 20 minutes, and the crowd got big enough and unpredictable enough to get in the way at times while my smoker girl and her group seemed to slowly migrate in the wrong direction towards the crowd.  Still, I was able to keep track of this beauty and my eyes always found a way to land upon that incredible ass with the square cigarette pack bulging out the back pocket of the daisy dukes.  Unfortunately, they then began migrating towards this dance club place that seems to be the most popular hangout among kids under 21 since they don’t serve alcohol and are teen-friendly.  Just last year, I lost my best evening teen sighting when she got swallowed up in the glut of humanity right at the entrance of the club….and my girl was moving that direction now.  I headed over to the spot hoping to avoid calamity….but I ultimately noticed that I lost her as she must have found her way inside that club as others were exiting….or else she just hovered in the middle of the entrance in a way I had no chance of seeing.  I kept coming back to that spot for the final hour of the night, praying I’d get a chance to see her smoking, but I’d never see her again.  Not sure which hurt worse between this girl and my wholesome brunette in white shorts (#20) from early afternoon.  I might actually say this girl hurt more because I at least got to see one drag and cigarette in hand from the brunette in the afternoon.  Still, it’s pretty rare to have two painful near-misses of this caliber in one day at the fair, where my two top smoker girls of the day never come together for a sighting worthy of them.

Most of the last hour of the night was a blur as I was so obsessed with seeing this brunette Barbie body smoking and most of the rest of the new sightings I was scoring were all pretty modest in scope compared to the primary target, but I did get a nice consolation prize from another teen smoker girl.  The 17-18ish dark blond cutie (Sighting #51) who I had seen smoking with her boyfriend an hour or so earlier was now out on the better-lit street full of blocks amidst a huddle of teen friends and this time she wasn’t bashful about smoking publicly rather than hiding in the shadows like before.  And the lack of lighting earlier limited my vantage point of her smoking style, but as I was able to get really close to her now, that was no longer a problem and her exhales were sublime, with dense blasts of smoke rocketing out of her mouth and nose after each drag.  This girl was the real deal, and I had noticed earlier that she had this belt on her daisy dukes with some writing on it but couldn’t read the message until now.  It said “Come Get Me, Bros” that couldn’t have possibly been more suggestive.  Couple that with the impressive smoking show and the contrast between this good-girl-gone-wild presentation and her girl-next-door look made for the day’s most striking storyline.  The second sighting of this one really made it something special and thus elevated her to my favorite girl of the day.  It certainly didn’t make up for the loss of sightings #20 and #75 though.

Even though I was only scoring singles, the last half hour saw a pretty decent surge in sightings numbers.  My feet were starting to blister and it was time to go before I caused more serious pain as I did that first night in Iowa.  My last sighting of the night was, fittingly, another teen, this petite 16-17ish dark blond smoking a Black ‘N’ Mild cigar.  Unfortunately, Sighting #93 had a “skater girl” look about her and it wasn’t doing much for me despite the cigar.  She was being introduced by a friend to a pair of much cuter and more feminine-looking teen girls which I found intriguing but it was pretty clear no additional smoking would ensue.  I left the grounds a little disappointed but pleased that the evening sightings at least managed to pick up from those disastrous late afternoon and early evening numbers.

The Missouri State Fair is not going to be an annual mainstay on my fair routine.  I went there last year and did so well that I decided to come back this year.  When I walked in the gate Saturday morning, I wondered if I’d be able to drift away after this year and go to other fairs in subsequent years, such as next year’s plan to go to the Indiana State Fair for the first time.  But as I walked out Saturday night, it struck me that my opening visit and the “12-hour sighting” that came from it was likely a fluke, given that the rest of that day’s haul was mediocre and this year’s was rather mediocre too, and I now feel less guilty about walking away from Missouri next year and going to Indiana.  Perhaps one year I’ll go to Wisconsin’s as well, but that one isn’t really grabbing me as a venue that’s likely to be rich with sightings.  I’ll get to Missouri’s fair again, either in 2018 or more likely 2019, but after two years there I now feel pretty comfortable in saying it doesn’t come close to measuring up to Iowa or Minnesota’s fair despite being a more smoker-friendly state.

I took a very ambitious road trip tour of “smoking belt” states Missouri, Arkansas, Tennessee, Kentucky, and the southern portion of Illinois in the days after this Missouri State Fair trip.  I didn’t get much in the way of sightings, but ironically, after 1,500 miles of driving I stopped at the Best Buy in Des Moines two miles from my place on Tuesday afternoon to get my phone’s keyboard fixed and got my best sighting of the entire trip, a sighting that will come up in my top-10 random sightings list at the end of the year.  Aside from random sightings though, I had an incredible visit with my favorite lady friend in northeast Missouri who chain-smoked the entire time I stayed with her, even posing for some hot smoking pictures for me.

This has been a very weak fair season so far but thankfully I have two weekends at the Minnesota State Fair yet to come.  I know I seem to say this every week in the days before my latest fair visits, but this Saturday looks to be another rainy 60-degree nightmare in Minnesota.  Would it kill Mother Nature to give me a single stress-free forecast leading up to a major fair sightings day and allow just one thing to go unequivocally right this fair season?!?!?

 

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