I was on the road shortly after 6 a.m. on Saturday morning (August 22, 2015) for a long weekend road trip to the Ozarks, and used the opportunity to get a day in at the Missouri State Fair. For years I’ve been tempted to see what the Missouri State Fair has to offer being a state with a much more smoker-friendly culture that happens to border Iowa, and this would be my year. The weather forecast was shaky, especially for the evening, but I didn’t know how good the fair would be so I went in with mixed feelings about what the day would be like. It was shortly after 11 a.m. when I arrived in the small city of Sedalia, Missouri, and pulled into the parking lot. There’s no such thing as free parking at the Minnesota or Iowa State Fair or even at my county fair so that was my first surprise for the day. The free parking was part of a first impression that led me to believe this was a smaller affair than either Iowa or Minnesota, but when I got inside the grounds it was more impressive than expected, offering most of the same features as Iowa and Minnesota on a somewhat smaller scale. And the grounds had a huge midway that I hoped would sparkle after dark with plenty of sightings.
But it was clear from the noon crowd that my research about the size of the fair was being vindicated. The Iowa State Fair runs the exact same 11 days in August that Missouri’s does but despite having half as many people as Missouri, Iowa’s 11-day attendance in 2014 was more than one million while Missouri’s was 365,000. And as I traversed the grounds over the course of the day and evening it was obvious the crowds were less than half what I had just experienced in Iowa. I was hoping the smoking culture of Missouri would make up the difference. I tried not to get my hopes up too high entering the grounds but the possibilities seemed endless for a throwback to a smoking culture of 20 years ago or more. Might I see trios of cigarette-wielding 14-year-old girls? Or mothers with two hot teenage daughters smoking together unashamedly? I didn’t summarily dismiss such a notion but the answer to those questions ended up being a definite no. In terms of numbers and even quality, the Missouri State Fair disappointed a little and I’ll give some theories as to why I think that was the case as I go along. But don’t let my disappointing opening remarks fool you…..because I scored one sighting that is the easy frontrunner for best sighting of 2015…and I just happened to spend several hours of the day observing it!
It was a good hour that I encircled the fair before seeing anything of consequence. There was no shortage of smoking and Missouri lived up to its reputation as having more smokers than the national average pretty early on, albeit nearly all older than 35 in that first hour and at other points during the day. I kept assuring myself that this was “family time” and the evening hours could be pretty nuts, and with sightings so slow to start I was observing the culture generally, with some people seeming like they’d fit right in in Iowa while others had Southern drawls as thick as Foghorn Leghorn. And walking past the fairgrounds open-air pavilion-style bars it was wonderful to see ashtrays on the tables and people smoking inside, my first sampling on the permissive Missouri smoking culture that’s nearly a decade removed from my reality in Iowa or Minnesota. Still, I came to see young and attractive females smoking…and where the hell were they?!?!? The Missouri State Fair may have lulled me into a false sense of security, but holy shit did the place know how to make a dramatic entrance when it did finally come through……
Walking by the livestock barns and frustrated by the not-exactly-predicted intense heat and the lack of sightings, my day and indeed my entire summer took an abrupt turn for the better when my eyes focused on the approaching image. If you’re a fetisher, you are lucky to get one image per summer as fantastic as this. Twenty yards in front of me was a trio of 21-22ish summer hotties in tanktops and shorts–a visually perfect cluster of feminine youth in the summertime without a single defiling tattoo amongst the three of them–all wielding freshly lit cigarettes between their fingers. I quickly readied my camera to capture this moment. Aligning a perfect photo while not looking at the camera and thus telling on yourself is never easy so none of the dozen or so photos I would get of them was perfect, but I still feel that I successfully immortalized the images of Sightings #1, #2, and #3. Instantly, this sighting took me back to my best Minnesota State Fair sighting of 2014, with three sexy smoker girls that each had a distinct visual identity to differentiate them. In my Missouri trio, there was a long-haired blond with sunglasses in a red blouse with white shorts. She was hot as hell, but in this group passed for the plain jane. There was a perfectly coiffed sexpot dark brunette with long, curly hair, a revealing white tanktop and cutoffs showing off tremendous flesh and a beautiful chiseled body that flowed into a pair of cowgirl boots. And then there was the third girl who immediately captured my imagination best, a slender light brunette with shoulder length hair wearing a pink blouse and short jean shorts with cowgirl boots, who had the most wholesome and heartwarming face I’ve seen all season, albeit with a faint hint of hardening suggesting she’s been a heavy smoker for a while. Nearly five hours worth of driving to Sedalia, Missouri, was already worthwhile and I hadn’t even seen them smoke yet!
After they walked past me, I turned around, watching them from behind while taking rear snapshots of their asses and the cigarettes between their fingers. Doing so I was able to see their smoking technique, all of which were vaguely similar at least in this context of walking with their backs to a decent south breeze which scattered their cloudy exhales northward. This vantage point behind them was also perfect for allowing me to see the reactions of others walking past them. Virtually everybody took note of this sexy young trio, and judging from the direction their eyes went, they also took note of the cigarettes in their hands. One woman seemed visibly annoyed and shook her head upon observing all three girls were smoking. I also took note that my wholesome light brunette had a pack of Camel Light Menthols stuffed into her jean shorts, ready to do business for the entire day! These girls were nothing if not cooperative on Saturday and came to a stop at a perfect vantage point where I could lean against a fence and snap more pics as they stood there smoking. It was only when the girls stopped that I realized this steam roller had a fourth wheel….a clean-cut college age guy….but you’ll forgive me for not putting his presence together with this trio of girls for a variety of reasons, the most substantial being he was not smoking himself! This man, folks, is the luckiest nonsmoking guy on the planet and I hope he realizes that! I got the sense that the group, especially the guy, was wise to me but if ever there was a time for taking risks, this was it as I snapped several more pics from this sedentary location and watched these beauties continue smoking. Just fantastic!
The blond finished her cigarette first and appeared heading for the dairy cattle barn of all places, dropping her cigarette to the pavement without crushing it out and then vanishing inside that dairy building. The rest of the group had other destinations to visit though and pressed forward, giving me the chance to identify blondie’s smoldering cigarette as a Camel Blue. I pressed forward to see my wholesome light brunette had just finished her cigarette as well, also dropping it to the pavement without bothering to crush it out. I could tell by the pack in the back of her jean shorts that her brand was Camel Light Menthols, but confirmed it looking at the smoldering remains of her cancer stick. Now it was just a matter of that sexy dark brunette, the slowest smoker of the trio. I got to watch a few more drags from her over the next 50 yards or so before she also retired her smoldering butt to the ground. Hers was a Marlboro Light Special Blend. Three different distinct beauties with three distinct brands all smoking together. The imagery and quality of the girls being what they were, this sighting would have been my best so far of the 2015 fair season if it had ended right there, but suffice it to say it was nowhere near over.
I was walking on the clouds at that point and just knew my odds were good for seeing one or more of those girls again, but in the meantime I was exploring the fairgrounds for other finds in their league. Things start to open up some as I got an appetizer of Sighting #4 next, where I spotted an attractive and slender 21ish dark blond wearing sunglasses in the company of her 40-something mother. I saw the daughter had a pack of L & Ms stuffed in her back jeans pocket and that was enough to immediately qualify her as Sighting #4, but it was a half hour or so later when that designation became official as daughter now had a cigarette in hand as she walked in her T-shirt and jeans next to nonsmoking mom. The duo stopped at the unofficial gates of this Clydesdale horse exhibit. Even though I think that at this fair, the daughter could have gotten away with smoking in the open-air exhibit, she nonetheless stood at a much more convenient open spot allowing me to score a couple of pics. She was a good smoker with nice long drags and cloudy exhales, and her open smoking in front of mom was a bonus. Unfortunately, my pics ended up hazy for some reason. That happens sometimes and I wonder if it isn’t caused by my sweaty finger accidentally touching the lens. Either way, the photos ended up being only mediocre but the girl’s smoking was far better than that. She dropped the cigarette to the ground, again without crushing it out which Missouri girls apparently just don’t do, and then walked into the Clydesdale exhibit with mom. No surprise that the discarded butt was an L & M.
For the next half hour or so, I stitched together some modest sightings of young mothers and other average-looking gals in their late 20s and 30s. In general, I’d say there were fewer attractive fairgoers than in Minnesota or Iowa, with some bona fide hillbilly girls in the mix that didn’t interest me even when smoking. But right around 1:00 the day’s trajectory dramatically reversed, and it was all courtesy of Sighting #11, who by herself was a pretty impressive find even though she wasn’t personally responsible for the day’s change of direction. A trio of two girls and a guy in their mid-to-late 20s were walking towards a small fairgrounds bar called Chuckie Dee’s and one of the girls was a brunette with sunglasses, a white shoulderless tanktop and dark jeans who looked ready for the party, particularly with a freshly lit cigarette in hand. She waltzed right into the bar with her cigarette and asked somebody something, which I would quickly discover to be a request for an ashtray as she was handed one before retreating to a table near a wall with her two friends. The female friend was a light brunette in a purple tanktop and pale blue jean shorts who I found hotter than the smoker, and I was taking a bench outside ready, willing, and able to wait as I needed for her to produce cigarettes of her own, but my plans got changed when I looked one table to their right and saw who was sitting there…..
Three of the four participants in my great original Missouri State Fair sighting occupied that table, including the guy, the sexpot brunette, and the wholesome light brunette cutie. The blond who went into the cattle barn earlier was not there. The only problem was there was a partition obstructing my view of them from the bench where I sat. I scrambled and searched the perimeter of this open-air bar for another more accommodating bench….and I found one! At the front entryway of the bar was a wide open bench where I could observe the bench where this trio sat, close enough to appreciate the imagery but far enough away that I didn’t stand out like a sore thumb to them. The second I sat down I could have sworn I saw a plume of smoke exhaled from the mouth of the dark brunette. I figure my eyes probably didn’t deceive me and that she did in fact take the final exhale from a cigarette she crushed out outside of my sight range. Either way, I just had a feeling that if I waited here for a while, I’d see more smoking from one or more of these girls. An otherwise tempting Sighting #12 walked by right in front of me, a family where a 19ish skinny brunette daughter had a pack of Newports stuffed into her back jeans pocket, but especially considering that girl wasn’t smoking, I wasn’t about to vacate this bench overlooking my best find so far in the 2015 fair season.
I had to wait no more than five minutes before the wholesome light brunette inserted an all-white between her lips and fired up. I don’t often get the visceral flourish of excitement where my heart skips a beat seeing a girl smoking a cigarette but it sure happened at that moment. This time, I was gonna get to watch her smoke the whole cigarette! Even though this bar was open-air, the context was exactly like an old-fashioned bar setting, complete with the ashtray, and the imagery of her smoking evoked that. I never got much of a chance to admire her style when I saw her smoking by the livestock barns earlier but that deficiency was being amended now. Her drags were rock-solid, lasting a good five seconds and exposing a pleasured sensation on her face followed by generous exhales that she usually tilted slightly skyward to release, which the aforementioned south wind scattered into the bar. It would have been hard to imagine this girl could upstage the imagery of her first cigarette with her friends outdoors but my front-row seat to her bar setting cigarette pulled it off, and I savored every moment until she extinguished the cigarette’s remains in the ashtray in front of her. Was this the time to walk away? Perhaps for an ordinary duo of fair girls, but these two were not ordinary, and I just knew that there would be more rewards for staying where I was at. And it wouldn’t take long for those rewards to be realized….
No more than three minutes passed before the sexy dark brunette took out another cigarette and lit up, and this motivated her wholesome light brunette friend to light up another one too. Oh sweet….both girls smoking at once again! But of course there was one member of this trio not smoking….and that was the guy who never did light up even while in the presence of all these heavy-smoking females. If ever there was a case study on whether secondhand smoke kills or not, it would be this guy. If secondhand smoke is as dangerous as they claim it is, this guy should be dead in the next few years! And his would-be killers couldn’t have been happier about their method of execution as the two girls smoked copiously, each producing beautiful clouds of smoke that were carried further into the bar by the wind. The wholesome light brunette was the better–and faster–smoker of the two with cloudier exhales and better pacing, but the brunette looked so damn badass in her sunglasses dragging from her cigarette and typically exhaling right straight ahead, making no effort at all to spare the guy sitting across from her the exhaust from her dark lungs. The wholesome girl crushed out her cigarette a couple of minutes before the slower-smoking dark brunette friend. And in the biggest irony of the day, the piped-in music coming from the bar’s speaker was now playing Alan Jackson’s late 90s hit “Everything I Love” of which the song’s hook is “everything I love is killing me….cigarettes, Jack Daniels, and caffeine”. Clearly these girls don’t listen too closely to the lyrics of the country bars they frequent as they were a few years from the emphysema ward at the rate they were going! Right after the dark brunette finished hers, she got up and I figured the whole group was leaving…..but it was only the brunette. I don’t know where she went but now it was just the guy and the wholesome light brunette at the table by themselves. I began to suspect they were boyfriend and girlfriend but was later dissuaded of that impression. More on that later, but in the meantime since my favorite girl of the group was sticking around, I was gonna do the same and see how high the cigarette count would go!
This was actually a perfect situation for me because my feet were still sore from 8 1/2 hours of walking at the Iowa State Fair that ended Thursday night at midnight. My feet would be hard-pressed to handle a full 12 hours of walking on cement again all day and night Saturday, so my extended sit on this bench overlooking my favorite girls in the bar allowed me the best of both worlds….fantastic sightings from the comfort of my easy chair. I was a little concerned that I was missing great stuff elsewhere on the fairgrounds but I definitely made the right choice to stick around and I would formalize my stay by approaching the bar and ordering a pulled pork sandwich, giving me something to eat while being entertained by the smoker girl and a live band that was now performing and was quite good. Again, my timing couldn’t have been better….because as I was standing there waiting on my sandwich, the wholesome light brunette smoker was standing at the bar right next to me ordering another beer. This was the closest I was all day physically to this perfect female specimen….and frankly she kind of reeked of smoke! I retreated to my bench while she was still in line waiting for another beer, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her perfect ass and those great legs with the cowgirl boots at the bottom, the breeze whipping around the bottom of her loose fitting pink top and showing off some midriff. Her sex appeal was off the charts. She walked back to her seat with the fresh beer, and I knew that with the new beer another cigarette was about to be smoked.
She made me wait about five more minutes but didn’t disappoint when her fourth cigarette of the last two hours (at least, I probably missed at least one!) was ignited. While I had sort of appreciated the old-fashioned bar setting of this sighting up to this point, something I hadn’t experienced to this degree since Cousin Jamie’s wedding in 2002, it was after she lit this latest cigarette that it really hit home for me, and for a very specific reason. For the first half of the cigarette, she rested her elbow on the table and held her cigarette close to her face as it smoldered. With indoor smoking sightings having all but disappeared in my part of the country, an already visually appealing pose for a sexy smoker gal became that much more stunning because of its scarcity. I honestly can’t even remember the last time I saw a girl smoking in this pose, and it was tearing me up inside with excitement. The visceral thrill I mentioned that this girl gave me when she lit up before was occurring every couple of minutes at this point and I couldn’t get enough of it. She took a good 6-8 drags with her elbow on the table before retreating to her previous position of holding her cigarette hand to her side next to her chair but I appreciated the hell out of those throwback stylings for as long as they lasted. And sometimes this girl would flash a smile or have a certain look in her eye that just melted my heart witnessing it, reinforcing my notion that she was one of the most perfect smoker girls who ever lived, a perfect combination of heavy and unashamed smoker with a fun and charming personality.
She finished that fourth cigarette and I was determined to ride this show out as long as I could. I know I had been spotted again by the girl and the guy with her but the presence of this live band performing behind them gave me a reason to be looking their way. It was one of those perfect fetish days where absolutely everything was going my way. Nonetheless, the band’s arrival posed a logistical challenge when more people came to listen to them, including some who sat in my line of vision of the chainsmoking babe, at least partially obstructing me from seeing more of her. I found myself fidgeting on my bench trying to find holes in the crowd where I could see the girl. Thankfully, this crowd’s formation occurred in between cigarettes but I knew with this girl that period wouldn’t last long so I was hoping for some kind of break or that she would actually hold off before firing up her next one. About 10 minutes passed when I saw an opening just large enough that I saw her nose and mouth in between two other customers…..and she was placing an unlit cigarette in her mouth, her fifth so far today that I observed. It sure was a weird–yet oddly satisfying experience watching this cigarette being inserted into a female mouth yet not being able to see the rest of her face. And it played out this way for her first couple of drags too before a brief parting in the crowd allowed me a better vantage point where I could observe the rest of her face smoking too, never disappointing even for a second. Was this girl an anomaly even in small-town Missouri or was she not necessarily the exception to the rule of being such a heavy smoker? I also observed that she was very gingerly sipping her beer, which was in an ordinary plastic cup. She was only on her second beer since I arrived here more than an hour ago. Some more casual smoking girls say they smoke when they drink, but with this girl I think she would be more inclined to say she drinks while she smokes!
There was some unsettled activity during this fifth cigarette as the guy got up and walked off, perhaps to go to the bathroom….or else he finally reached his breaking point tolerating the girl’s incessant smoking. Either way, I briefly abandoned my bench and retreated to a rear position behind where the girl sat. The half-smoked cigarette was in her left hand as she continued to watch the band while sitting alone, and from this rear position I got to admire something else. I mentioned earlier how when she was standing at the counter waiting for a beer the breeze was whipping around her blouse. It was still doing that now as she sat with her back to the wind, but since she was sitting an inch or more of her black panties were exposed above the belt line of her shorts. This girl just never quit finding ways to turn me on! She took three back-to-back-to-back drags from her cigarette before crushing it out and continuing to sit there. And remember sitting right next to this girl was the group that led me into this bar in the first place, the brunette who was my Sighting #11. She was still there and smoking as heavily as my wholesome light brunette but really got the short end of the stick being in the company of royalty and getting so thoroughly upstaged. She actually got up on stage with the band at one point and sang “Barracuda” karaoke. I was still curious about that friend of hers in the purple shirt and jean shorts even though I hadn’t yet seen her smoke. I snapped a rear photo to capture them and briefly walked away as it was now 3:00 and I wanted to at least see what else the fair had to offer, thinking I would check in on a very regular basis to see what my wholesome light brunette was up to.
I did just that and was back in no more than 10 minutes. Surprisingly the table was vacant, but I hustled on up to see if I could get a closer look at that ashtray provided it wasn’t cleaned out yet. I got there and saw an ashtray with nearly a dozen butts in it, the majority being my favorite girl’s Camel Light Menthols. But I also saw her pack of cigarettes and a half-empty beer still sitting there, signaling to me that she was planning to return. I left the scene and returned in a few minutes. Sure enough, all three of the original party were now back….the nonsmoking guy, my wholesome light brunette, and that impossibly sexy dark brunette, who was smoking another cigarette, her third or probably fourth cigarette of the afternoon. My bench was still mostly open so I seized it, wanting to see more of the dark brunette’s style. She didn’t smoke as quickly as I’d prefer but she was a great smoker with long indulgent drags and cloudy exhales. And I love the dark brunette’s presence because every time she lights a cigarette, she inspires her heavier-smoking friend to light another. Two-thirds way into the dark brunette’s cigarette, the light brunette fired up another of her own, her sixth so far this afternoon that I witnessed. I stayed once again until both girls finished their cigarettes before making another attempt to take off, planning again to return and see when they smoke again.
I felt a little guilty for neglecting the rest of the grounds in favor of one girl (or group of girls), as incredible as they were, but when I returned to the grounds I realized I hadn’t been missing much. There still wasn’t much going on out there, in particular in the midway when I finally made another trip through there. I was heading back to Chuckie Dee’s to keep tabs on those smelly sexpot chainsmokers, but when I got halfway there, I discovered they were coming to me! They finally left the bar and were now heading in the direction of the midway without any cigarettes. And this time, the original blond was back. The band was back together, with all three girls and the nonsmoking guy. I had assumed with all the alone time that the guy spent with the wholesome light brunette that she was his girlfriend, but he was putting his arms all over the sexy dark brunette as they walked. What gives here? Maybe he’s fucking both of them! Whatever the arrangement, I’d pay my life savings to spend one damn day in this guy’s shoes! I was torn between following them into the midway and risking being called out with as familiar as my presence was at this point or returning to their table at the bar to do an official cigarette butt count in the ashtray. Considering it might be a while before the girls lit up again, especially if they were about to ride midway rides, I decided to check out the ashtray. I probably made a mistake as I got there to find the table still empty but the ashtray already gone. And when I returned to the midway, I didn’t find them again. I certainly wasn’t in a position to complain about what these girls, and the wholesome light brunette in particular, had already delivered for me. And you never know, it’s possible we haven’t heard the last of them.
What I found instead when I returned to the midway was the most frustrating would-be sighting of the entire day or the entire fair season. With as much luck as I had with that trio of girls who dominated my day, I was getting skunked elsewhere. The “hot girl” of every group just never seemed to be smoking, be it in a family setting or a friends group setting where others were smoking. And never was this dynamic more painful than when I was preparing to exit the midway and discovered this mid-teen girl standing behind a baby stroller that had a pack of Marlboro Reds and a pack of Marlboro Blacks front and center near the handlebars. I froze in my tracks, looking this 14ish brunette cutie in the gray tanktop and black shorts over. She clearly wasn’t the baby’s mother….so who was she? It quickly became clear that she was “big sis” to the little girl who the stroller belonged to, and the couple with the child appeared to be in their mid-40s or older. What was I missing here? Maybe they were the grandparents who were babysitting for the day while the biological mom worked, taking her little girl to the fair. Whatever the case, when I saw those two middle-aged parents/grandparents showing the little girl a good time at the fair, it put into doubt my original instinct that either of those two packs of cigarettes belonged to the 14-year-old girl. I nonetheless had to see this through to make sure because it would have rivaled my chainsmoking threesome for sighting of the year if this hottie smoked. When the older couple put the little girl on the next ride over after taking her off the previous one, the teen girl threw an adorable little hissy fit having to wait for the little girl ride all of her rides and got a scolding from mom. Mom then grabbed her pack of Marlboro Reds and extracted one, leaving the teen girl alone with the stroller again. I figured the stress of the situation would trigger her to light a cigarette if she was a smoker, but she didn’t. And there were tons of infuriating false starts….where she would reach down in the front of stroller in the direction of those cigarette packs but she was really just grabbing for her phone…..or when she started wheeling the empty stroller away as if going somewhere to sneak a cigarette, but then just stopped in the shade so she could get out of the sun. I stuck around a good 15 minutes and kept doubling back even after I did leave the scene, not being able to let go of my initial instinct that this girl would smoke and become my youngest sighting of 2015. But it never happened. I saw the family near the livestock barns a couple of hours later and still no smoking. It still haunts me as my instinct was this girl was a smoker, but it seemed pretty obvious it wasn’t meant to be for me to see it on Saturday even if she was.
It was quite a snap back to reality trudging around the sightingless grounds in the late afternoon, at the very time of day that Iowa and Minnesota’s fairs typically start to ramp up sightings numbers. I was still holding out hope for an off-the-hook evening but things would have to change fast for that to happen. Thankfully I was still riding high on my half-day sighting before and during Chuckie Dee’s as that was all that was keeping me sane on this far-hotter-than-expected Saturday afternoon where staying hydrated was a constant and expensive challenge. The sightings were barely trickling in and most of them were mediocre. And I was surprised at how prolific e-cigarettes were in Missouri. They certainly didn’t dominate my observations but I saw more of them than in Iowa or Minnesota, which surprised me given that Missouri’s low cigarette taxes would seem to kill e-cigs’ competitive advantage. And for the first time this fair season, what would have been a rock-star sighting was sabotaged by e-cigarettes, and it happened to occur at Chuckie Dee’s, the source of so many great things earlier in the day, at around 6:00 when this very attractive young couple that included a gorgeous early 20s blond walked into the place both in possession of e-cigarettes. I guess you have to take a little of the bad with the good, but even three years ago I probably wouldn’t have had to agree to those terms because this blond would have been smoking regular cigarettes along with those who occupied Chuckie Dee’s before her!
Finally the hours of mediocrity broke right around 6 p.m. with Sighting #23. At a series of benches behind some food stands sat an 18-19ish couple who seemed quite wholesome. And in what was becoming a bit of a recurring theme for the day, she was smoking and he wasn’t. The girl had a mane of blond hair and was wearing a utilitarian green T-shirt and dark blue jeans that fit her farm girl image more than something really sexy would have. I watched as she took multiple drags in the presence of this nonsmoking boyfriend and it was a very cute dynamic, especially given her age. I took a few pics from the next bench over that turned out fairly well. No bells and whistles to her style but after such a long dry spell it was nice to see Missouri come through with what I knew it had the potential to produce on Saturday…..sightings of cute teen girls publicly smoking. She took a final drag and dropped the cigarette to the grass before she and the boyfriend got up to leave. I walked over to their bench and identified the butt as a Marlboro Red. I saw all kinds of Marlboro Reds last summer but they’ve been more rare in 2015, so it was all the more cute to see this very soft young girl smoking such a harsh cigarette and forcing her boyfriend to smell it on her. It was definitely in my top-five sightings of the day and just might have been as high as my third best.
A very different sighting came next with Sighting #24, this mid-20s brunette in a sexy bare-midriff blouse with short jean shorts who had half of her face painted at some state fair stand that apparently did that sort of thing. Her scruffy boyfriend was taking photos of her indicating to me she just had the face paint applied. Apparently she was craving a cigarette during the painting because she had a freshly lit one in hand during her photo op. I tried to get a photo of my own but it didn’t work out due to location. The downside of the face painting is that it was hard to tell how pretty she was, but it was still a different and noteworthy sighting from a girl with a dramatic presentation, and that sort of thing was hard to come by at certain points on Saturday.
I saw a fair amount of decently attractive young mothers smoking in the next hour but few that really got my adrenaline going. The best of the bunch was Sighting #32, a hot mid-20s blond in a cowgirl hat, a pink tanktop, and pale blue jean shorts who was with her nonsmoking husband and young son near the livestock barns. Unfortunately, all I saw of her smoking was one final drag as I approached before she crushed the cigarette out on the pavement. I got a better look at her as I walked past and confirmed she was the hottest young mommy sighting of the day. But then I identified her discarded butt and discovered the unfamiliar brand name Exeter, which I figured was a regional generic. The next morning I confirmed it when I stopped at a gas station and saw they were selling two generic brands I noticed on Saturday–Exeter and Decade–selling, respectively, for $22 and $24 a carton! Hard to believe there’s anyplace in America where any carton of cigarettes sells for $22, but small-town Missouri is such a place.
I finally started ticking off sightings at a better clip during the 7:00 hour, and a group that had already produced one mediocre sighting produced another girl in Sighting #38, a brunette that had a bit of a Leah Remini vibe going wearing a flower-print dress who was finishing off her cigarette near a bar and grill. I tried to get a decent photo but it didn’t take and before I could give it any more thought at all she crushed out the cigarette. I’d get a second chance a half hour later on the midway, however, where the same significant group which I suspected included quite a few family members was waiting in line for this water ride and several of them were smoking again, including the dark-complected brunette hottie in the flower-print dress. Sunset was approaching which made photo-taking more challenging but I got a decent shot of her approaching the cigarette to her lips. I kept tabs on this group for a few minutes, even after she disposed of her cigarette because there was an adorable 16ish blond daughter in this group and I would have killed to see her smoke. Alas, even though the gal that was confirmed as her mother was smoking, the daughter never did.
Right after sunset early in the 8:00 hour I scored my only other electric moment from the day that didn’t include one or more of the original trio. It was the only “hunch” I followed that day that ended up bearing fruit for me. The sighting started on the block full of bars when I saw this 19ish redhead who was too chubby to even count as a sighting smoking a cigarette in the company of this sweetheart of a 17-18ish wholesome and slender long-haired blond in a black T-shirt and dark jeans. The duo drifted behind a barrier to a hidden area where I figured just maybe the young girl would smoke too. Instead, the two girls met this late 30s brunette gal who was smoking and seemed to know them….possibly a relative. The setting was so conspicuous and the blond teen was so adorable that I hovered in a very awkward spot to keep tabs on them. A couple of minutes passed and there was no smoking to be seen by the young blond. I drifted away figuring I wasn’t gonna get anything out of this but couldn’t resist looking over my shoulder towards the same group a minute or so later, just in case. And my instinct finally served me well for the first time that day as I finally saw the impossibly adorable teen blond placing the half-smoked cigarette into her mouth and becoming Sighting #44. I caught her at exactly the right time because seconds later the group was back on the block heading eastward, only now with the young girl holding the cigarette in her hand. Where did this half-smoked cigarette come from? The only place it could have come from was the late 30s brunette (possible mother) who apparently let the young blond finish her cigarette! I followed closeby and was able to witness some very impressive smoking, with long drags and hugely cloudy exhales, one of which whacked an innocent fairgoer in the face as she walked. This girl was no rookie and whatever inhibitions I originally suspected she may have had about smoking in public were dispelled. I got to see four drags before she did what apparently all Missouri smoker girls do….she dropped the smoldering butt to the pavement without crushing it out and kept on walking, allowing me to easily ID the butt as a cork filter L & M. I continued to follow and even though I knew my camera phone wouldn’t work well after sunset, I snapped a rear and side photo of this nicotine angel that, while blurry, turned out better than I expected. The trio proceeded to the fairgrounds exit and went past the gate, leading me to believe I caught them in their final minutes at the fair that day.
And that certainly was my suspicion until I was back on the beer gardens block around 10:30 that night and suddenly spotted a group of 18-19 year olds hovering outside the “dance club” playing hip-hop music. The chubby friend was there, along with my high school-aged blond beauty queen, and two other decently attractive girls both under 21. There was only one problem. It appears likely that I just missed the hot girl smoking. The chubby friend was finishing her cigarette while the two other friends were just lighting up, both of them impressive enough to count as sightings but neither holding a candle to my blond. As for the blond, she proudly held a pack of Marlboro Nxts in her hand…..but as I said I must have just missed her smoking. The upside was that it was now official that this girl was a regular smoker who carried around her own cigarettes and that her generic L & M from earlier was simply one that she bummed. The other upside was that I was standing so close to her in a very well-lit location that I was able to score a couple of photos of her that, while not entirely perfect, turned out better than any other photos I’ve ever taken outdoors at 10:30 p.m. What a sweetheart she was…..but unfortunately she and the friends wandered into this dance club never to be seen again that night and I wouldn’t get the chance to see her smoke another cigarette.
Back to the 8:00 hour and back to a girl who was prominent in my sightings day but always took a backseat role being in the company of greatness. The brunette from Sighting #11 who I first saw wander into Chuckie Dee’s bar with smoldering cigarette in hand and later sang karaoke lingered inside Chuckie Dee’s a good portion of the day, and I saw her smoking at least four times during that stretch. Well right after I spotted the teen blond exiting the gates, I spotted the heavy-smoking brunette, in the company of the boyfriend and the sexy light brunette friend in the purple T-shirt and tight pale blue jean shorts approaching the gate to leave as well. No surprise that the brunette had another cigarette in her hand as she walked off, but interestingly this time the light brunette friend had a pack of Camel Crushes in her hand. But I hadn’t seen her smoking all day while I had seen the guy smoking so it was possible that she was carrying his pack. Either way, I couldn’t count her as an official sighting and figured I wouldn’t get a chance as she and the dark brunette were leaving the grounds at that moment. But lo and behold, 15 minutes later the same two 20-something gals were re-entering the grounds, perhaps having merely gone out to pick something up from their car, and this time they both had smoldering cigarettes in hand! The dark brunette had yet another freshly lit cigarette that she brought inside the gates with her….and the light brunette in the purple top and jean shorts had a two-thirds cigarette in her hand. It took about eight hours to make it official, but I could finally designate this hottie as Sighting #49. I followed the gals as it appeared they were heading towards a women’s bathroom. Unfortunately there was some guy sitting in a golf cart right near the entrance so I couldn’t stalk them undetected. I was able to see the glow from the light brunette’s cigarette as she took her final drag from it and then tossed the butt to the grass. The dark brunette was another story….she walked right into the bathroom with the cigarette in her hand! I guess that shouldn’t have surprised me with her but it still seemed pretty jarring for the year 2015. I attempted to locate the just-discarded butt from the light brunette but there were a bunch of butts in that immediate area making it hard to determine which was hers. Plus that jerk in the golf cart was sitting there watching my every move so I had no choice but to abort the mission and head into the men’s bathroom. I wouldn’t see either of those two addicts again that night.
I was hoping this burst of momentum would finally bring me something worthwhile on the midway, which had thus far been a disappointment despite my high early hopes of evening sightings of mid-teen girls. I got three-quarters way through the midway when a voice inside me told me to turn right at the midway exit leading to a series of fair buildings that I hadn’t explored much that day. Occasionally my instincts lead me to something worthwhile, but never could I have imagined the reward I was less than a minute from stumbling into. As I approached a foursome that included three girls and one guy, an air of familiarity struck me instantly but it took a couple of seconds to realize that the trio of sexpot chainsmokers who started my day at the Missouri State Fair and occupied the majority of the afternoon were back….and had changed clothes! This led me to believe they must live right here in Sedalia as they appeared to have left the fair to change their outfits, but I suppose it’s possible they simply brought a change of clothes in their car. Either way, imagine my luck to have been in the right place at the right time to catch up with these girls AGAIN after five hours between encounters, extending the best sighting of the 2015 fair season into an evening encore. The guy in the group was talking to another guy and motioning the girls to go do whatever they wanted to do, apparently under the terms that he’d catch up with them later. What the girls wanted to do was apparently get some food as the three of them drifted towards a corn dog stand and I followed. So what outfits did they change into? The blond was now wearing a white top with a fringed midsection that largely covered the jean shorts she wore below the waist. She was still sexy, but continued to come in third place in this high-end threesome. My favorite wholesome light brunette in the Midwest who smoked the most during the day appeared to be wearing the same pink blouse along with a pair of tight jeans. I guess I preferred her short jean shorts from earlier but she was rocking these tight blue jeans as well and seeing her in another outfit made this already wildly comprehensive sighting encounter all the more comprehensive. But winning the outfit wars in the evening was that sexpot dark brunette, somehow managing to outdo her country girl ensemble from the daytime now decked out in a maroon tanktop with painted-on short black shorts that fit her muscular lower body like heaven. I just may have been following the sexiest trio of early 20s gals in all of America!
The girls walked up to the corn dog stand and I had to be discreet not to get busted stalking them again, but found a bench across the street from their stand to observe and even snapped a couple of distant photos of them in their new outfits. The pics didn’t really turn out but it was still kind of worth it for me. They walked away with a single corn dog in the possession of my wholesome light brunette. I had to keep my distance and ended up losing them in the crowd for less than a minute. I’m assuming the girls collectively devoured the corn dog because it was gone by the time I caught up with them again, and they were progressing past the farm equipment on a now-vacant side street when it happened. The cigarettes were coming out yet again. A lighter ignited a cigarette to life in the blond’s mouth first and the fires kept popping up to ignite the tobacco cylinders in the other two girls’ mouths as well. For the first time since noon, I was seeing all three of them smoking again. It was only the second cigarette I had seen the blond smoke but this was the fourth cigarette of the sexy dark brunette, and the seventh cigarette of my favorite girl, the wholesome light brunette. I had to follow from about 15 yards behind so as not to get busted but was able to see clouds of smoke exhaled from their mouths one after another during that joyous walk. Where were they heading? The very crowded beer gardens block of course. I was hoping they’d hover outside the bar so I could watch them smoke the rest of their cigarettes, but what happened instead was almost as good. The three sexpots with fresh cigarettes in their fingers weaved right through the crowd and strutted right into the bar with cigarettes in hand, where I can guarantee you that they turned most heads inside the bar because of both their beauty and their boldness. I approached the entryway of the open-air bar and looked inside. It was so crowded that I couldn’t see where they went…..but this story STILL hasn’t ended!
I stayed pretty close to that beer gardens block most of the rest of the night because I knew that was where most of the smoking action was gonna be, and plus I wanted to keep tabs on “the trio”. I always weaved my way towards the entryway of that country bar the girls walked into and about 15 minutes after they arrived, there “she” was….that same wholesome light brunette, now in her pink blouse and tight jeans, standing there talking to a guy who also looked pretty wholesome sitting there on a chair across from where she was standing. Once again, she was smoking a cigarette and he was not. Apparently wholesome nonsmoking guys are the only kind of guys this girl fraternizes with, and as I watched her smoke her eighth cigarette of the day while sipping on a beer, it hit me that it could have been me sitting there flirting with this heavy-smoking cutie. The price one has to pay at these fairs for obsessively tracking sightings is that you become too familiar to the smoker girls and look like hell from racing around the grounds in the hot sun becoming a pile of sweat to the point of having no chance of engaging socially. Obviously I might not have been her type anyway, but I was really jealous of this guy who was in a position to watch her smoke from an even closer vantage point than me. Her smoking style stayed consistent, taking nicely paced five-second drags with a pleasured look on her face followed a slightly skyward exhale right inside the bar, flashing that beautiful smile and infectious giggle regularly while socializing with this lucky guy who apparently had no problem dealing with her stench.
I even hit a sensory overload point in the middle of cutie’s eighth cigarette because, all at once, a bunch of other hotties were spilling out of the bar with cigarettes and lingering in my immediate area. Two early 20s blonds stepped out and fired up to become Sightings #56 and #57, dancing around to the music with cigarettes in hand. A beautiful mid-20s brunette in another group a few feet behind them lit up to become Sighting #58 but with so much going on I barely even got to see her. Where were all these girls around 6 p.m. when I would have been able to appreciate them more!?!??! All of those girls seemed to drift out of sight but the last one to light up stuck around close to me. Sighting #59 was a really cute mid-20s long haired light brunette in a lime green tanktop and dark blue jeans standing very close to me and smoking an all-white. I was positioned nicely to look to my left and watch her smoking very impressively, and then look to my right inside the bar to see the wholesome light brunette girl of the day releasing another blast of smoke to contaminate the air in the bar. It was a few minutes of pure bliss and ended with the #59 girl outside with me dropping her cigarette to the ground and enabling to me ID her butt as a Camel Crush. I’d see this girl again in the same general area and was able to get a close look at her wonderful ass with a pack of Camel Crushes stuffed into her back jeans pocket.
This beer gardens block was just off the midway which was convenient for me as it allowed me to explore the midway in a fruitless pursuit for young teen smokers yet still never be far away from that beer gardens block. As for my favorite country bar with my favorite trio of girls inside, it had a back entrance that was also open-air and when I looked inside next I would see my wholesome light brunette line dancing to “Copperhead Road” with the guy she had just been talking to towards the front of the bar a few minutes earlier. No cigarette in her hand while she danced but it was still a beautiful image and made me wonder how exhausted her black lungs must be at the end of that line dancing workout. I kept tabs on that back entrance in case she was visible in there again and while she wasn’t, I caught other sightings back there, the most impressive being the duo of mid-20s brunettes that made up Sightings #64 and #65. One girl had a big ugly tattoo on her shoulder and arm that kept me from being as into her as I was her friend. The friend had a wholesome look about her with long dark brown hair going down her shoulders and was wearing a white low-cut tanktop with jean shorts. Both gals were smoking right near the back entrance of that country bar and I got to see the last few drags from each. Most memorable about the sighting was that my favorite girl finished her cigarette first and threw the smoldering cork filter butt at the foot of the steps to the entrance. And about 30 seconds later, her tattooed friend did the same thing, finishing her cigarette and tossing the smoldering butt in front of her at the foot of the steps right outside the entrance, only inches from the friend’s pollution. Seemed to kind of defy the purpose of stepping outside to smoke if you throw your still-burning cigarettes close enough to the door that the smoke trickles inside! Anyway, the women walked up those steps back inside the bar. There were two different brands of cigarettes lying there smoldering but I was only interested in the first girl’s, which was a cork filter Camel Crush Bold.
It was around 11:30 when I made my final pass down the midway with one more journey on that beer gardens block which was single-handedly making my evening. And the evening would not be complete without one more fantastic sighting of the two star players of the “trio”, who were now outside the front entryway of the country bar smoking in the company of two nonsmoking guys, one of whom being the same guy that the wholesome light brunette was talking to and line dancing with earlier. You gotta figure the girls stepped outside to smoke to enjoy a cool breeze and escape the heat from inside with all the sweaty dancers as it seems very unlikely that it was out of any inhibition about smoking inside given their body of work for the day so far! Either way, there they were smoking their ninth and fifth cigarettes of the day that I witnessed, standing there puffing in front of these wholesome, nonsmoking guys who were enduring their ashtray aroma with smiles on their faces. I hovered from a respectable distance admiring what I knew would be the last cigarette I’d see smoked from that beautiful light brunette who continued to drag fiercely on her beloved Camel Light Menthol while directing her cloudy exhales skyward. I’m guessing this girl is a very heavy smoker even on a regular day but within the context of this beer-soaked day at the fair I bet she smoked at least two full packs on August 22, 2015. And I also felt blessed to get one more upclose look at that scorching hot dark brunette friend in that smoldering maroon tanktop and tight black shorts, the hottest outfit of the entire Missouri State Fair, as she smoked away on her own cigarette with a typically slower pace than the more wholesome friend with blobbier and straight ahead exhales from her Marlboro Light Special Blends. The final cigarette count from this trio would be nine cigarettes from the wholesome light brunette, five cigarettes from the sexpot dark brunette, and two cigarettes from the blond who only made cameos over the course of the day. The nine cigarettes from the light brunette rivaled last year’s Iowa State Fair teen chainsmoker, albeit over the course of an entire day rather than just a couple of hours like last year’s girl. A sighting that started out resembling last year’s #2 fairgrounds sighting ended up being a hybrid of last year’s #2 and #1, which is not at all a bad place to be. Without a doubt, this “trio” who represented my Missouri State Fair baptism served me up the most comprehensive and longest-lasting sighting encounter of my life and will be immortalized forever on my blog as a result. The Minnesota State Fair really has its work cut out for it in the next two weeks to upstage this masterpiece.
And while the final sighting of the trio was ongoing, something else was playing out just to my left. This late 30s or early 40s gal was standing there smoking in the presence of three 17-18ish girls. I’m not sure what their connection was but given that I was distracted by my favorites of the day I didn’t dwell too much on the teen girls figuring they must not smoke or they would be then and there. However, the cutest girl of the group, a wholesome, long-haired brunette in a white tanktop and jean shorts, was coughing semiregularly during the group conversation. I suppose it could have been that she had a cold, but something just struck me as “smoker’s cough” about the tone of the cough. So I started paying attention to her, admiring her sexy teenage body and noticing that there was a rectangular shape in both of the back pockets of her jean shorts. The rectangle in her right asscheek was a phone, but what about that rectangle on the left? I took a closer look and discovered it was a pack of blue Pall Malls, which I believe are lights. Whoa! This girl didn’t look like a smoker at all but given that she was in sole possession of them and had the cough to boot was enough for me to qualify her as Sighting #73. If I could just get her to light up! Unfortunately, she wouldn’t, and she and her friends soon drifted from in front of the country bar to inside the next door “dance club” where my 18ish blond cutie wandered into about an hour earlier. It was rough to let this one go because I have a feeling she would have been a grand slam find, but at 11:45 at night, I just had to come to terms with this one not playing out and being happy with the fact that she was pretty close to a confirmed sure-thing smoker.
Before I left I thought I’d make one more pass on the backside of the country bar. I didn’t find any members of my “trio” but I did see a group of four 20-somethings with three girls and a guy, this guy being a chubby bubba. The girl next to him with a freshly lit cigarette seemed way above his pay grade but it sure seemed as though they were a couple. Sighting #74 was a slender and beautiful blond wearing a bare midriff white top and white shorts. She was a knockout beauty and that long cigarette between her fingers was the best possible accessory to compliment her image. Various members of this group seemed to make me right away, making my efforts to watch her smoke very challenging. I saw a few drags, all of which were very nice with combination nasal-and-mouth exhales that followed. The group began migrating southward and the guy and girl kept going towards the bathroom. She still had at least half of her cigarette left so I hoped I see her finish it before going into the bathroom. Instead, she took a deep drag that made the cherry glow a bright red in the dark and then, once again, walked right into the bathroom with cigarette in hand. Sexy as that was, I really wanted a butt ID from her. I waited on a bench near the men’s bathroom just in case she was still smoking the cigarette when she exited, but she wasn’t. I walked past her in hopes of seeing the pack stuffed in her ass. I think it may have been a pack of Parliaments but I didn’t get a close enough look.
And while I was waiting outside the bathroom for that hot blond to emerge, another adorable sighting played out as this middle-aged woman approached the women’s bathroom with two early 20s gals, one of whom had a cigarette. Sighting #76 was a cute 22ish light brunette in a flower-print dress who also appeared poised to walk into the women’s bathroom with her half-smoked cigarette until a couple of other young women met her at the door with the warning that there are “no paper products in the bathroom” at the exact moment the brunette smoker was taking a drag. She repeated the line back to them as if confirming she heard what she thought she did through an exasperated talking exhale, with wisps of smoke flowing from her mouth and nose as she expressed her displeasure that the bathroom was not fully equipped. She then turned around to repeat to the older woman the bad news and they began walking away as the smoker girl said something that began with “Mom….” to the older woman. A hot young daughter smoking in front of mom. Seemed like a nice flourish to end the 2015 Missouri State Fair.
I got one more mediocre sighting as I walked to the gate and made the long walk through the parking lot back to my car in weather that somehow, against all odds, had stayed dry despite forecasts for inevitable mid-evening rain that ultimately didn’t come down until about 3 a.m. There were still a fair amount of cars in the lot and I suspected most of them were locals, and the whole Missouri State Fair experience felt somewhat like a “Sedalia County Fair” experience as I bet the majority of the visitors were either locals or people from neighboring counties. I walked away with what would typically seem like a disappointing haul of 77 sightings over the course of more than 12 hours of fetishing. But never before has a 77-sighting day yielded the nearly 11,000-word writeup that this one did, with more than half dedicated to a trio of girls who dominated the day in every way a day can be dominated. I’m planning another road trip next August that will bring me to Sedalia, Missouri, again for an encore, but the Missouri State Fair is not gonna be part of my regular routine beyond that. It felt like my maiden voyage was a fluke that became legendary only because of incredible luck with a specific group of girls always lighting up wherever I happened to be on the grounds, and that the late afternoon and early evening hours of bleakness are more likely to be the standard experience at the Missouri State Fair. Even so, the day was good enough to earn an encore in 2016. I got some midnight chicken tenders at Burger King and rested before my road trip to the Ozarks the next day. I’m still very excited about two Saturdays in a row at the Minnesota State Fair coming up, which will almost certainly produce the highest number of sightings as it does every year simply because of the huge crowds, but my home state really has to step up its game to match the show that a certain group of girls in Missouri put on for me a week earlier!