Top 25 Fairgrounds Sightings of 2013

As is the case nearly every year, the vast majority of my memorable sightings from 2013 came during the six-week stretch in late summer when I make the rounds of the county and state fairs in Minnesota and Iowa.  This year I faced a couple of dark trends colliding at once, including the imposition of smoking restrictions on the fairgrounds and a huge increase in cigarette taxes in Minnesota.  Interestingly, the two fairs in Minnesota were largely as strong as they have been for sightings while the Iowa State Fair, unaffected by smoking restrictions or higher taxes, was the huge disappointment in 2013.  This year’s top-25 lineup is itself a mixed bag.  At one level, the top-three this year were more momentous for me than last year’s #1, so there’s some real strength at the top.  On the other hand, there’s not as much strength further down the list as previous years, as my #25 ranked sightings from 2010 and 2011 would be in my top-20 on this list.  Still, it’s a strong list and I hope most of my readers’ favorites from the fair writeups are accounted for here….


#25.  Minnesota State Fair, Day 2, Sightings #166-168

I was scoring sightings at a blistering clip on my second day at the Minnesota State Fair, indeed on pace for a record, although storm clouds opened up at 8 p.m. and seemingly threw my evening into a tailspin.   The rain was no insignificant obstruction thrown my way, but it didn’t stop me from rallying with some of my best sightings of the night.  The beer gardens block was its usual treasure trove of evening sightings, and I stood outside the corner of one of the bars to see an attractive young couple where the very pretty light brunette girlfriend was smoking.  She was a natural beauty with long brown hair, a black top and brownish pair of dress pants that seemed like an odd choice for a summer night at the state fair beer gardens but which she made it work.  Her smoking style was by and large average and my positioning was not conducive to an extended sighting, so I drifted away after three drags, with impeccable timing to see something else fantastic from its inception.

A trio of friends, two female and one male, who all looked 21 or 22, were only a few feet to the right of the last girl, and in front of my face was this redhead brimming with IT factor despite not conventionally being my type, with an unlit cigarette hanging from her mouth.  Right away I knew I was destined for an extra-base hit, and the next thing I knew the guy, who I later determined had to have been her boyfriend, was approaching her cigarette with a lighter.  She leaned in to the flame and was lit, and that’s when the bells and whistles started chiming.  She dragged right off of the light-up, ingesting a flurry of smoke and then exhaling blasts through her nose and mouth while still dangling the cigarette.  The cigarette remained in dangle mode and the smoke just kept pouring out of her face, blasting the boyfriend and the nonsmoking female friend directly.

The girl was mildly beautiful, if you will, with a sort of brash redheaded cuteness about her that reminded me a lot of my former girlfriend Lizz, another heavy smoking redhead.  Contrasting with her smoker girl look was a cute red bow in her hair that seemed entirely out of place.  She was also chubbier than I’d prefer and probably wouldn’t look good in a bikini, but she knew how to make the extra pounds work for her and I must confess to being pretty turned on.  And that was before I got a very pleasant surprise.  The friends both got their exhales into the face….and now it was my turn.  As close as I was to them and as ferocious as her exhales were, I guess I should have foreseen the possibility of her belching out smoke into my airspace, but it never crossed my mind until an exhale sailed straight into my face for a perfect direct hit, and I’m not entirely sure it was unintentional.

After about a minute of enjoying her performance and turning occasionally towards the previous light brunette who was still smoking, my trio of friends separated and the redhead and her presumed boyfriend started walking down the beer gardens block.  As they proceeded, I followed at a comfortable distance and noticed a couple of things.  First, the boyfriend who lit her up was smoking an electronic cigarette.  Cute when the guy is willing to settle for a lame e-cig, but his girlfriend requires the real thing for her nicotine fix.  Secondly, her ass was draped in a tiny pair of black shorts that wouldn’t have worked if she was much heavier, but she had just the right level of chubbiness to pull it off and it was really sexy watching her walk ahead.  Sexiest of all though continued to be her reckless smoking as she meandered through the crowd and continued to produce dense, cloudy exhales that were released with no inhibitions, almost always nailing the boyfriend in the face and when he didn’t get hit by them, complete strangers did.

The most oddball part of the sighting came next though when she crossed paths with a mediocre 20-something brunette in a black dress.  Just as I did, the two girls made the observation in passing that both boyfriends were smoking electronic cigarettes while the female halves of the relationships were smoking real cigarettes.  Now my redhead didn’t seem to be “drunk” per se, but she proceeded to lean towards the brunette girl and speak to her as though she was three sheets to the wind.  I couldn’t hear details of the conversation, but it was clear the redhead was pointing to their mutual cigarettes and beers and gushing how they should feel no shame about smoking.  It was quite a spectacle, and the first time that the presence of an electronic cigarette significantly improved the stature of a sighting.

From there, the couple drifted to a berm in front of the bathrooms and sat.  She continued pulverizing her all-white and as I sat watching, waiting for her to finish it, I could tell I had a problem.  Even though the rain was over now except for a stray sprinkle, there was a huge puddle of standing water right beneath her feet.  It was pretty clear where the cigarette butt was going when she finished it, and sure enough, she dropped it in the water.  I returned to the spot later, after they left, hoping to salvage a butt identification, but the only all-white I saw was so submerged in standing water there was no hope of IDing it.  Too bad because she was among my top-five sightings of the day.  I always love it when a girl who is not conventionally a sexpot carries herself and smokes in a way that dramatically raises her stakes, and I couldn’t have asked for a much better show than what she gave me.


#24.  Local County Fair, Wednesday Night

I was having a really good night at my county fair on its second night, even though it was officially a “smoke-free” evening, and the night had a couple more treats for me as I stitched together more sightings during the 11:00 hour.  On the block outside the beer gardens I could see from afar that a duo of early 20s gals was smoking.  The one facing me was this short-haired brunette in a shoulderless dress holding her cigarette in a sexy pose.  She had the best presentation but was nonetheless an afterthought when I walked past her and noticed a familiar-looking blond smoking behind her.  Even though it’s been six years now, I immediately identified the blond smoker as the high school girl who was smoking while posing for photos with her nonsmoking friends on the midway on the Friday night of the 2007 county fair, which remains on my blog as FCF #39 in my top-45 FCF sightings of all-time.  I saw her again smoking the next summer, which was probably right after she graduated high school.  The girl is likely 23 now and still has a more mature variation on the same distinctive look she had then….and she also still smokes those stinky cigarettes she did back then!  She was wearing a bright orange top and black leggings that nicely advertised her ongoing sex appeal.  I watched her smoke and while her style wasn’t distinctive, it was still rock-solid and I appreciated the throwback to 2007.

It would have been hard to imagine after spotting her that she’d only be the second-best player in this sighting, but she would be as this shorter blond who was talking to the brunette in the shoulderless dress was suddenly putting something cylendrical in her mouth.  With all these cute smokers surrounding her, I failed to even notice this girl was the prettiest of the bunch…and she got even prettier when a flame from a butane lighter ignited a few inches in front of her face followed by a release of gray carcinogenic fumes from her lungs.  She was such a cutie, a bleach blond with a sweet wholesome face and little ponytail in the back, wearing a stylish white blouse and tight dark blue jeans.  Her drags were the most solid of the three smoker girls and her exhales were the most voluminous.  She turned her head to the right for those exhales, tilted slightly skyward, and released tight and far-reaching exhales that sailed far in front of her face…..

I watched her smoke most of the cigarette, but after the other two smokers in the group (there were a couple dudes hovering in the background as well) finished their cigarettes they started to walk deeper into the grounds.  But my adorable little blond wasn’t done with hers yet so she followed them onto the main street of the fairgrounds, full of food vendors and people who had no place to go to avoid the secondhand toxins she was exposing them to.  Unfortunately, she and the brunette waited at the end of the block because the orange-topped blond and her boyfriend were standing in line to buy some food.  She finished the cigarette and crushed it out under her foot.  As I approached, I was deeply frustrated when I couldn’t tell which cigarette was hers.  I think it was a Camel Crush Bold, but cannot say definitively and the usual fresh ash smear that accompanies recently stomped out cigarettes was nowhere to be found.  Still, a great three-for-one sighting that saved its best smoker for last.  And like so many girls at this fair, I had a deja vu factor with this blond.  I may very easily have seen her in years past, perhaps smoking and perhaps not.


#23.  Local County Fair, Saturday Night

My last great find from the 2013 FCF surfaced after 11 p.m. on the incredibly successful Saturday evening that wrapped up the fair, and she was standing in a huddle of teens in the middle of the fairgrounds.   Jumping out at me was a very attractive blond with shoulder-length hair wearing a white blouse and tight dark jeans.  She looked 17 or 18 and was wielding a cigarette, and you could tell from this girl’s face she was a smoker without even having to look down 18 inches to see the cigarette in her hand.  She was a solid 8.5 beauty-wise and the cutest of the girls near her. The logistics of this sighting were awful because she was immersed in the middle of this huddle that I was awkwardly watching from a few feet away, and the huddle was a constant moving part with new people moving in and out of it and making blondie hard to see.  Thankfully though, I still got to see enough to get a feel for how awesome she is, which was obvious after her very first drag….

Her drags were such that you could tell she was not “inhaling” so much as she was “ingesting”, drawing large amounts of toxic cigarette smoke into her body as much because she has to than because she wants to.  But she shined most on the exhales, a category in which she was the best girl of all at the 2013 local county fair.  Massive blasts of smoke pierced out of her mouth and nose like missiles with smoke from her mouth shooting slightly upward even as the ferocious nasal missiles rocketed at a downward angle.  The last time I saw exhales like this was that cute blond at the Hinder concert at the 2010 Minnesota State Fair (MNSF #10), the girl who smoked three cigarettes before the concert despite the boyfriend’s impatience.  This girl didn’t quite have that girl’s IT factor, but she was clearly the alpha female of this group.

A dude approached her and she held her cigarette up as if offering him a drag, which he turned down.  She would next offer it to an obese brunette female in the group who did take a drag before handing it back to blondie.  I enjoyed four of her drags, despite the epically inconvenient vantage point, all of them incredible with the combination mouth and nose missiles.  She made pretty quick work of the cigarette and dropped it to the ground.  It was one of those nights where everything was working out, because there was just enough of a parting of the crowd at that exact moment for me to swoop in and identify the butt, a Camel Crush.

And I would see this girl two more times before evening’s end, smoking both times.  I wish I had had a scenario where I could have observed this girl more intimately because this girl  had the potential to score even higher with her advanced and preternaturally awesome smoking style.


#22.  Minnesota State Fair, Day 1, Sightings #119-120

Things were uncharacteristically slow during 7 p.m. hour that first evening at the Minnesota State Fair, and alarmingly so given how productive the hour usually is, but I’d finally strike gold as it approached 8:00 and I walked near the International Bazaar area again.   If one is lucky, there are a few moments every day at the fair where they witness from afar that perfect combination of blissful feminine beauty and cigarettes, and last night I got to see it in duplicate.  Standing in a grassy area a few feet in front of the Bazaar’s entrance was a group of five that included two bombshell 19-20ish girls wielding cigarettes.  There was a wide open bench directly in front of them and I rapidly approached for a front-row seat, but made eyes with another dude in my age range who was about to take the bench for himself….but I beat him to the punch and was in no mood for chivalry.  Sorry buddy….you snooze, you lose!  And in this case he did lose out big-time because these girls were positively gorgeous, and I couldn’t get over how the two girls were the only smokers in the group of five, with all these studly dudes to their left forced to stand there and endure the stench, and in a smoking-forbidden area at that.  It was right at the threshold of dusk and I was very lucky to be sitting so close because I was able to take a solid pic with my camera phone without needing the flash.  It was definitely gonna be my last photo of the night, and I was so grateful to be able to score it.  With the photo accounted for, it was time to sit back and watch the show….

Unfortunately, I missed the majority of the show, but still had three drags each to observe.  Like so many girls on the day, these girls were above-average smokers.  There were no stylistic flourishes but it was obvious just by the intensity of their drags and the cloudiness of their exhales that they were regular smokers with substantial habits.  The first girl was a dark blond with shoulder length hair and a sweet girl-next-door face.  She was wearing a black top and a pair of white shorts with a tan flower print that very nicely framed her frontal feminine assets (and undoubtedly her rear assets as well, but it was her crotch that was in my line of vision).  If she had been the only girl in the sighting, it still would have been among my top-five of the day, but standing across from her was a brunette who managed to upstage her.  This girl was a knockout, with long dark brown hair flowing over her shoulders onto a navy blue tanktop with a pair of tight white shorts below.  For the two minutes or so that the show lasted, I was in heaven, and can’t really say which girl was the better smoker as they were both about even.

The blond was the first to take a final drag before dropping her cigarette to the pavement and crushing it out.  Within seconds, the brunette gave the marching orders to the pussy-whipped boys with pink lungs, rhetorically asking “ready to go inside?” as she progressed towards the entrance of the International Bazaar still wielding her cigarette and the rest of the group obediently followed.  I hoped to see a replay of an earlier sighting that day where the girl went inside the Bazaar still wielding her cigarette, but just before the threshold of the entrance, the brunette dropped the cigarette to the pavement and half-heartedly crushed it out.  As they went inside, I swooped in to identify both butts.  They were both Marlboro Reds, giving the already impressive duo of hot chicks that much more badass sex appeal.  This duo reminded me aesthetically of last year’s MNSF #59 duo, even though they might have been a little hotter than those two.  Unfortunately because of the limited length of the encounter here, they won’t end up ranking as high in my greatest hits list.


#21. Local County Fair, Tuesday Night

On the opening night at this year’s county fair, I was flying solo while seated at the concert of country singer Kellie Pickler as my buddy Corey, who usually attends these concerts with me, was out of town for the week with his new bride. I wasn’t all that tuned into the show and really got distracted about halfway through when this foursome that included a guy and three 20-21ish girls walked out of the show and dawdled briefly in the smoking area.  Two of the girls were blond babes so I really wanted this one to pan out.  The guy had a pack of Marlboro Light Special Blends in his hand and I thought I was gonna hit the jackpot….until they kept walking into the grounds.  I watched in horror as they walked away, ultimately settling into this bench just beyond my sight of vision, but the last thing I was able to see was one of the blonds in the group with an unlit cigarette in her hand.  The lack of presence from buddy Corey was already coming in handy, because I was gonna leave this concert for a much better show outside the grandstand.  It was a controversial decision since I wouldn’t be able to get back in and get that seat again, but it was a decision that led me to the sighting of the night….

By the time I got out there, eight people were sitting on that bench, including the foursome that exited the show.  The guy was smoking a cigarette, along with a chubby brunette in a black dress who was cute enough to count but barely.  But the main attraction was THREE blonds (the two in the original group and another stray friend that met them on the bench) who were all smoking as well.  The blond on the north end of the table was okay looking but the least memorable of the three.  Her exhales were pretty nice, managing to shoot skyward based on the way she blew them even though she didn’t tilt her head up.  But the blonds on the south side of the bench were who my eyes were laser-focused on, and there was a convenient bench overlooking them that I sat at.  The blond closest to me was wearing a white top and jean shorts and was holding her cigarette behind her back.  It was hard to see drags from my angle, but from what I did see the drags were pretty long and she always did substantial skyward exhales.  Prettier yet though was the darker wavier-haired blond across the table from her, who was also a very nice smoker but much more obnoxious with her scattershot exhales which splattered either straight ahead towards the other smokers or in the direction of the three nonsmoking girls at the table to her left.  There was a deja vu factor to this girl and I may well have seen her at previous county fairs, but I couldn’t place her.  The only downside to this arrangement is that the prettiest girl of the seven at the table was the dark brunette immediately to the left of the wavy-haired dark blond…and she wasn’t smoking.

This sighting was the gift that kept on giving as the guy lit up another cigarette right after the first, and the wavy-haired blond wasted little time beckoning him for a drag.  Sadly it would be the last I’d see of her smoking though as she and three other girls got up to explore the fair, leaving just the pretty nonsmoking dark brunette, the chubby brunette smoker, and the jean-shorted blond with the skyward exhales seated along with the guy.  I kept close tabs on this group for about 15 minutes while still seated in a place where I could hear the concert.  The guy, the brunette, and the blond all took another cigarette and lit up after a few extra minutes of observation.  Unfortunately, the pretty brunette seemed to now officially be a nonsmoker given that everyone but her had by this time lit up.  But it was gonna be a pleasure to watch this blond smoke another one, still holding the cigarette behind her back and still exhaling skyward after every four-to-five second drag.

But then something unexpected happened when I took my eyes off of the group for about three seconds.  I looked their way and I saw the pretty brunette taking a drag from a cigarette!  When did she light that sucker up, I thought to myself, right before she answered the question by handing the cigarette back to the blond.  She only wanted one drag of the blond’s cigarette.  Still, it was enough to complete my masterpiece, counting her as the fifth smoker of this group and still getting to enjoy watching the blond smoke the rest of her cigarette.  Clearly this was the high point of my night.  None of these girls individually was Hall of Fame worthy but the wild ride they took me and the robustness of the tobacco they smoked assured that they’d find their way to my top-25 fair sightings of 2013.


#20.  Local County Fair, Wednesday and Friday Nights

I had a two-part sighting over two evenings at my county fair this year with a star player that gave a worthy storyline sighting each night.  The first sighting took place on Wednesday night as I was leaving the Sawyer Brown concert around 10 p.m., hungry for my first worthwhile sighting in hours.  I passed a mid-20s duo that included a very plain jane light brunette and a much more attractive dark brunette.  I thought I heard the words “cigarette” from the light brunette but wasn’t sure as she wandered in the direction of the smoking area.  Sure enough as the two of them were standing near the smoking area, they stared towards it for awhile as if not being sure that’s where it really was.  The fact that it was empty at the time didn’t give them any answers.  So they just decided they were gonna hover back in the grassy area where I stood and smoke their cigarettes someplace illegal.  From out of nowhere, a duo of guys they seemed to know joined them and the two gals produced cigarettes.  The light brunette was so mediocre I didn’t even count her but the dark brunette was another story.  She was a very natural beauty with great features, decked out in a white blouse and tan shorts with long legs stemming out from those shorts.  There were no stylistic flourishes but she smoked it nicely with solid pacing on her drags and cloudy exhales which were usually blown to her right.  She had to have seen me eyeballing her especially during those exhales but it was worth it as she was the first hot smoker I had seen in two hours.  She dropped the cigarette to the grass and crushed it out with her shoe, and her group cooperatively dispersed within about a minute allowing me to swoop in and identify her butt….a Marlboro Light.

Two nights later, I was sitting at my favorite spot in the grandstand awaiting the start of a Kenny Rogers concert, and had scored three solid sightings across the fence in the beer gardens, but the best sighting to play out before or during the Kenny Rogers concert happened at the same “magic bench” where I scored the giant cluster of smokers Tuesday night and the two brunettes on Wednesday night.  I just happened to look back towards that bench and saw two girls, one of them a hottie, sitting on it.  It was those same two from Wednesday night!!!   The ones who were looking for the smoking area but ended up hovering in the grassy area near the bench to smoke.  Noticing some sort of name tag or business tag on the mediocre light brunette, I finally deduced these girls were working underneath the grandstand at one of the vendors.  Unlike Tuesday, I didn’t have to leave the concert to see the sighting play out as it was not yet dark and I had a perfect vantage point.

Again, the mediocre light brunette was elevator music while the dark brunette stepped up her game.  As sexy as she was on Wednesday night, tonight she was decked out in a white top and bright pink shorts.  It was such a feminine image seeing her ass draped in pink seated on that bench as she smoked a cigarette.  And I got to watch the whole damn performance, complete with her nicely timed drags and gorgeous straight-ahead plumes of exhaled smoke.  If there’s one downside with this girl it’s that her hold times are short…like two seconds.  Kind of impressive she’s able to produce as much smoke in her exhales as she does given those tepid hold times.  Whatever the case, she treated me to a good seven-minute show before getting her pink backside off the bench and heading back underneath the grandstand to work.  I explored the vendor stations underneath the grandstand on Saturday night and during the day Sunday hoping to find her inside, but unfortunately didn’t locate her either night.


#19.  Minnesota State Fair, Day 1, Sighting #67

I was pleasantly surprised at the luck I was having scoring above-average sightings on my first day at this year’s Minnesota State Fair, and the good fortune continued even when I made a questionable mid-afternoon trek up to the north side of the grounds, which is a 20-minute round trip.  As I walked past two of the north side’s designated smoking areas and saw nothing, I thought I made a big mistake.  But lo and behold, sitting on a bench by themselves was a 21ish couple that included a nonsmoking good ol’ boy and his bombshell blond girlfriend with a freshly lit cigarette protruding from her fingers.  She was a total sexpot, decked out in a gray tanktop that stretched out in the chest from her impressive set of boobs that looked real but were disproportionately plentiful for her slender body.  Below the waist was even better with her tight pair of blue and white shorts with a long pair of smooth and slender folded legs underneath.  It was one of the sexiest images I’d seen all day and the fact that a cigarette was being smoked by the girl responsible for this profile made this one of my top-five sightings of the day.  Facially, the girl was very pretty but with defined weathered smoker girl features that helped a little more with her sex appeal.  She looked like a more sexed-up version of this Jerrica girl I dated two years ago, also a heavy smoker.

There was no place to observe close, but I leaned against a tree and got a few photos that aren’t bad at all when I zoom in as I can do on my new phone.  More importantly, I just watched the show.  While blondie didn’t necessarily have any distinguishing characteristics to her smoking, she was still above-average stylistically with drags, exhales, and a natural presence with a cigarette that was really sexy.  She fiddled around with her phone with the cigarette protruding from her fingers for several moments and it was nice to get off my feet and watch this from a reasonably close distance.  It also wasn’t wasted on me that the boyfriend next to her exposed to all this secondhand smoke was not a smoker himself.  At this point, the sighting took an unexpected turn as a middle-aged couple approached.  None of them were smoking but just by looking at the woman it was pretty obvious she was the blond smoker’s mother.  The young couple got up and started walking with the older couple and I was eager to follow long enough to ID the butt from her discarded cigarette. I also welcomed the opportunity to get a good look at her awesome ass in those form-fitting shorts as she walked.

They wouldn’t make it easy for me though with two detours, the first of which added a new dimension of yumminess to the sighting.  There was some sort of mist machine that was spraying a cool wet mist upon the family.  When it was blondie’s turn to stand directly in front of the machine, she struck a pose like Marilyn Monroe did when the floor vent blew her skirt up as mild comic relief for the family and boyfriend.  Seeing this pretty girl with her hair blowing in the wind and a cigarette next to her beautifully framed lower body was definitely the high point of a sighting that already impressed the hell out of me. The family progressed southward from there, and I continued to see girlie working on what little remained of that cigarette and couldn’t believe she kept the thing going for as long as she did given how hard she was dragging on it.  And I was very concerned about losing the butt when they detoured again to see this old car next to a bar and grill.  But I spotted her dropping the butt in a remote location and all that was left to do now was await their departure and ID the butt.  But for all my effort there was nothing left to identify as she smoked the damn thing right down to the filter.  I’m thinking it was a Newport but can’t know for sure.


18.  Iowa State Fair, Day 1, Sighting #12

Few days of sightings in my entirely life sucked as badly as my first day at this year’s Iowa State Fair.  I hit bottom by mid-afternoon when I had only 11 sightings to show in more than four hours on the grounds.  I finally broke the drought during the 3:00 hour with  my second best sighting of the day.  I was fast-approaching full-blown panic as I circled the seating area behind the grandstand when my guardian angel arrived in the form a teen brunette with her family.  Two parents, a boyfriend, and the girl were all approaching the grandstand to walk through the vendors operating underneath the grandstand.  The 17ish daughter in a striped T-shirt, jean shorts, and cowgirl boots was the only one with a cigarette.  She was pretty cute too….not cute in a way that made my knees buckle, but cute enough to where I didn’t get a smoker vibe from her in the year 2013.  I watched her take a few drags and my hours of sunburnt disappointment briefly disappeared in a way that only the sight of smoky carcinogens flowing from a pretty teenage face can do.

And then the sighting became a mother-daughter sighting if only for a moment as the girl offered mom the cigarette for a quick drag, which mom took her up on.  There was nothing about mom that did anything for me as she was just your typical middle-aged Iowa mother with no sex appeal, but I loved that mom handed the girl back her cigarette and then went into the grandstand with dad….while the girl and (presumably) her boyfriend hung outside.  She offered the boyfriend one drag from the cigarette as well which I could have done without just for the sake of the storyline, but again, all he got was one drag before he had to relinquish possession of the cigarette to its teenage female caretaker who may have been generous enough to offer a random drag from that cigarette, but who definitely was hording most of it for herself.  I snapped a couple pics but didn’t get a close-up shot of her face unfortunately.  She finished the cigarette and crushed it out before heading under the grandstand with the boyfriend, hoping I’m sure to catch up to the parents who got at least a minute head start on them while the daughter was preoccupied with her nicotine needs.  The butt was a Marlboro Light.  While this wasn’t quite the “FINALLY!!!” moment that last year’s teen cutie (ISF #11) who broke a long dry spell was, I did get a renewed spring in my step and went on a mini-roll in the next 15 minutes.


#17.  Minnesota State Fair, Day 2, Sighting #187

My time was getting short with the final half hour of fetish time upon me on my second and final night at this year’s Minnesota State Fair, but the evening still had a couple great moments left for me.  The rain earlier in the night had played havoc in several different ways, including a couple sightings of cute young smoker girls who were covered in red plastic ponchos.   But a different dynamic with a happier ending played out with a sighting that took place outside the west side of the grandstand.  As I was perusing the perimeter of the area, I happened upon a couple who were both lighting up cigarettes.  The guy had a shaved head and looked kind of generic and approaching middle age.  The girl had a cute face and awesome legs coming out of incredibly hot pale blue cutoffs, but a hoodie covered up everything else.  The rain had by this time ended, but she was still covered up completely as if it was coming down in buckets.  I could tell her face was quite cute but even that was mostly obstructed but the tightly wound hoodie, so there was a mysterious sexiness about her, especially as that cigarette approached her lips.

While the anecdotal evidence was that she was pretty hot, I couldn’t bring myself to get too excited because the guy seemed as ordinary joe as they came and surely the girl underneath this hoodie had to have been some 40-year-old who simply had a nice lower body in tight-fitting cutoffs.  I didn’t look away long, but I must have absent-mindedly looked elsewhere for a couple of seconds, because when I returned my focus on the couple, everything had changed.  The hood of the sweatshirt was off….and a truly gorgeous early 20s blond was underneath.  I have no idea why a girl like this was with the shaved head guy….but way to go shaved head guy for landing her!  Suddenly a sighting that was mysterious and fun, but with an expectation of disappointment, had exceeded even my wildest expectations by light years.  And she was wholesome as hell too…..the kind of girl nobody would expect to be a smoker in modern times….

Her back was turned towards me for a bit and I couldn’t help myself from walking over there as I wanted to see her face as she exhaled.  And boy was it worth it.  I took a glance as she was dragging and she made eyes with me at the exact moment she expelled a blast of smoke straight forward from her gorgeous mouth.  She was hands-down the most beautiful smoker girl of the day.  I retook my original seat as she became more cooperative in smoking with her face in my line of vision.  I licked my lips and wished I could still get a picture of this beautiful long-haired blond with the tight and skimpy cutoffs, the long, smooth legs, and the cigarette in her hand.  The boyfriend was preoccupied with his phone while she smoked (there’s a gender switch for you!) and she finished a little before he did, crushing her cigarette out on the wet pavement and scaring me as she approached the garbage can with it and tossed it.  I really wanted a butt ID on this one but it wasn’t looking optimistic. In a minute or so, the boyfriend crushed his cigarette out but didn’t throw his in the trash, and the couple walked off into the night.  I approached the boyfriend’s cigarette first figuring they smoked the same brand, and his was a Marlboro Smooth.  But then I looked to the garbage can and noticed it was overflowing.  There was a chance her cigarette butt was still resting atop that trash pile.  And as I approached, sure enough….there was a cork filter sitting there on the lip of a cup. And it was not the boyfriend’s brand.  She was smoking a Newport.  Two sightings in a row that had positive surprise developments halfway through that turned them into blog-worthy masterpieces.  Maybe the rain isn’t so bad after all!


#16.  Minnesota State Fair, Day 2, Sightings #144-148

At around 8 p.m. on my second night at the Minnesota State Fair, I was scoring sightings at a blistering pace but was a little disappointed at the lack of truly memorable material I had scored during the day, but the closest thing I had gotten in hours to that holy grail smoking moment played out in the final moments before the rain started falling, and would ultimately be my third best sighting of the day.  It was a sighting that involved a lot of players, some connected and some not, and it all happened in the seating area outside the east side of the grandstand, which unlike the west side, is not a designated smoking area.  Catching my eye first was a cute redheaded young mother with a stroller next to her sitting down for a smoke break.  She wasn’t good enough to warrant a writeup by herself but eventually played a minor role in the sighting’s outcome.  Anyway, after her, I looked across the pavement about 10 yards to the berm area that works as a makeshift seating area, and was now most likely populated by people preparing to go into the Macklemore concert which had yet to start and looked likely to be complicated by rain at this point.  And there were three college-age girls sitting next to each other, two of whom had cigarettes.  And the most mediocre of the three, a brunette in a red tanktop and black shorts, was handing her cigarette to the hottest girl of the three, a dark-complected ponytailed brunette in a zebra-striped top and white shorts.  The third girl was a redhead who was decently cute.  I had first assumed she was part of the group, but it quickly became clear she just happened to be another addicted young smoking female sitting next to the other two addicted young smoking females.  Almost immediately, the redhead spotted me sneaking peeks her direction and I knew I couldn’t linger in this awkward area for long.  But thankfully, the other two girls got up and moved, allowing me to move with them and leading to what became a much more memorable sighting….

They moved to the same general area where the young redheaded mom sat, only up a small trio of steps and hovering on a railing behind her.  The ponytailed dark brunette was in possession of the cigarette and I was lucky enough to stand just a few feet to her left watching the show and remaining anonymous while doing so.  Standing up, it was clear this girl had a spectacular body, and most specifically a spectacular ass.  There’s nothing sexier that a girl with a nice ass can wear than a pair of white shorts that hug her curves, and this girl clearly appears to understand that.  It was almost dark but I was close enough to snap a pic without it being as blurry as it would have been from a distance, and her awesome ass glows like a beacon of white purity in the photo.  As for the smoking, the girl had skills, with nice long drags and a memorably exaggerated exhale, where she stopped to pause and then forcefully expelled the smoke with enough internal wind power that it looked like she was trying to blow up a balloon.  She did this after every drag and it was very cute.  I was a little bummed when she handed the friend the cigarette because the friend wasn’t nearly as attractive, but what the friend lacked in beauty she made up for with sheer bad behavior….

I’m always really turned on by rude, careless, and inconsiderate behavior by young smoker girls, and this friend of hers exhibited some of the worst I’ve seen.  Her smoking style was decidedly mediocre but that became a distant memory for me seconds after the first drag when she reclaimed the cigarette as she leaned forward over the railing and spit a lugie right onto the cement where people sat.  The aforementioned redheaded mother was still smoking, only a couple feet away from where the spitter’s lugie landed.  Somebody inevitably sat down on that spot and got an assful of this girl’s saliva as a souvenir.  And yet another player was now a part of this sighting as three more college-age girls were now standing on the other side of the railing talking to this sighting’s two stars.  One girl, an attractive Asian girl in a dress, was smoking too while chatting with who I presume were her Macklemore concert-going friends.   The cigarette continued to get passed back and forth between the brunette with the white shorts and the rude friend to her right.  And the smorgasbord of obnoxious female smoking behavior ended with a dual act of obnoxiousness….

The Asian girl on the other side of the railing smashed her Marlboro Light out right on the cement seating area, leaving the butt standing straight up where people sit in the moments before they left.  Even worse, the mediocre brunette to my right got the final drag from the shared cigarette and tossed her smoldering cigarette over the railing where it landed right there in the seating area, again only a couple of feet from that redheaded mother.  It fascinates me that there are smoker girls out there with this bad of manners, but it’s sexy as hell to witness.  Unfortunately, as I scurried around to locate the smoldering butt, the rising wind in the moments before rainfall blew it away, so I never got a butt ID.  Somewhere in that cement area, however, a burning cigarette was rolling around just waiting to cause some luckless a fairgoer a flesh wound while they were fleeing the rain that began only seconds later.


#15.  Iowa State Fair, Day 2, Sighting #41

My midweek evening visit to this year’s Iowa State Fair was one of my worst nights of fetishing ever, yet it produced two marquee moments that played out simultaneously around 9:15 p.m.  As I saw a crowd moving from the east side of the grounds to the main concourse, I figured the Jana Kramer concert on the free stage was over and was heading the direction of the stage so I’d be facing the crowd exiting, but was sidetracked at the center of the grounds and my eastward journey would be delayed.  In a cluster of three was a late teen light brunette girl…..holding a Black ‘N’ Mild cigar.  It’s a funny pattern among my fairs.  Almost every year at my county fair I score sightings of pregnant smokers….and almost every year at the Iowa State Fair I get a cigar sighting.  But I have never gotten a cigar sighting from a teen girl quite this wholesome-looking.  We’re talking about a girl with her light brunette hair hanging over her shoulder in a braid, and correspondingly soft features to go with it.  When I laid eyes on her and saw her insert that plastic-tipped cigar into her mouth for a very lengthy 5-6-second drag, my “finally!” moment for the entire Iowa State Fair had arrived.  She was standing up so I was able to admire the awesome body that went along with the face, draped in skin-tight pale blue jeans which couldn’t have possibly been more sexy on her.  She turned her head to the left to exhale and I made a point of changing positions to walk past it, getting literal goose bumps as I smelled the stinky cigar smoke and knew that this wholesome 18ish girl was responsible for the stench.

Unfortunately, nothing at this year’s Iowa State Fair can occur without a buzzkill qualifier, and I would soon get one as she handed the cigar to the guy sitting on the bench across from her, who proceeded to drag from it himself.  And moments later, the OTHER guy sitting on the bench next to him got a drag of his own.  She was sharing the cigar with two guys, which needless to say was not the ideal arrangement.  Still, I stuck around until girlie extended her hand to get the cigar back, defying expectations again as her adorable face wrapped its lips around that plastic cigar tip and ingested another very significant snootful of smoke, which she proceeded to exhale stinkily throughout the reasonably busy location.  She took two drags, and then handed the cigar back to the guy.  At this point, I had to walk away as this was a key time to score some potential sightings with the Jana Kramer concert wrapping up and I couldn’t wait for a cluster with two guys out of three participants to finish a less-than-half-smoked cigar.

My instinct was good as I got entangled in my other great sighting of the night during that departure, but when that sighting played out I returned to the center of the grounds and my timing was perfect as my girl was still there and had just reclaimed possession of the cigar, which now appeared to be mostly smoked.  But the group then began walking away to the south side of the grounds.  I followed, watching that incredible ass in that tight pale blue denim wiggle forward, with the stub of a very stinky cigar only inches away from it.  She proceeded to take no fewer than five consecutive drags from it over the next minute or so, much shorter drags than the monsters she took when the cigar was just lit.  While she was sharing this thing with the two guys, it was abundantly clear that it was HER cigar as she maintained possession of it for about 60% of the time and smoked about that much of it as well.  Still, as with before whenever I got the most passionate about this sighting, one of the guys would hold out his hand to request the cigar and my heart would sink.  They ended up getting immersed in a huddle of fellow late teen friends and since there was so little left of the cigar anyway, I pressed forward.  This was still my second best sighting of the night and will certainly make my blog as a singled-out greatest hit next spring, but if the girl had the cigar to herself it would have probably been among my ISF top-10.


#14.  Local County Fair, Thursday and Friday Nights

While Thursday was my weakest of the five nights at this year’s local county fair, I still pulled off a few quality moments, and the best of them came around 11 p.m. when I was walking towards that huddle of young people that always forms behind the grandstand in the evening.  From afar I saw this cute blond in pale blue jean shorts with what looked like a pack of cigarettes in her back pocket.  As I got closer, my suspicion was confirmed.  And like every pack of cigarettes that has been sticking out of girls’ back pockets lately, hers was another pack of Newports.  The girl was very wholesome-looking and didn’t look like a smoker.  However I think she was a little older, probably 21 or close to it.  I wasn’t gonna see any smoking right away, but got something much rarer as my jean-shorted blond immersed herself amongst a group of people she was looking to catch up with.  Another girl in the group said “Taylor Anderson!” upon seeing her and they briefly hugged.  It was clear no smoking was gonna be happening right then, but this girl stood out in a crowd with her white leopard-print top and a pack of Newports poking out of her sexy jean shorts, so I was gonna keep tabs on this one.

And so I did, emerging in the same general area and coming upon Taylor Anderson and two friends (one a hot blond and the other a below-average brunette) as they drifted away from that cluster and appeared to be preparing to buy food from a vendor.  Once again I walked away, knowing they’d be unlikely to smoke while they ate.  I made another half-loop around the grounds and returned to the general area to see Taylor and her friends sitting on a berm eating.  I knew patience would be rewarded with this sighting and also knew what smokers tend to crave once they finish eating.  And sure enough when I returned from a quarter-loop to that berm, I was briefly horrified to see they were gone….but then relieved when I looked up to the same huddle where I saw her originally to see Taylor Anderson smoking one of her Newports.  And she was a sexy smoker too.  I sat at that berm and even though her group was further away than I would have preferred, I got to see nearly every drag, all of which were nicely timed and some of which were substantial no-handlebars drags.  While her exhales weren’t out of this world, her hold times were quite lengthy and I would sometimes wonder if I missed the exhale, only to see the smoke finally flowing from her face a couple of seconds later.  Unfortunately, she walked to the garbage can, crushed the cigarette out on the pavement, and then threw it away, although I guess I already knew it was a Newport.  Still, a very nice reward for my half hour or more of effort with Ms. Anderson.

The following night, around the same time, I was walking near the front edge of the midway when I spotted from a distance this very attractive 21ish blond who was hovering among friends and wielding a cigarette.  She was wearing a black blouse and dark jeans that fit her nicely.  Even from afar, there was a deja vu factor to her but it wasn’t until I got up close that I knew who it was…..Taylor Anderson from last night!  Suffice it to say her darker outfit tonight contrasted so much with last night’s white leopard print top and pale jean shorts that it wasn’t immediately obvious that it was the same girl!  She had noticed me last night and seemed to notice me watching her again tonight, so I was only able to stick around for a couple of drags.  However, I made sure to walk behind her while leaving and checked out her ass.  Sure enough, the pack of Newports was stuffed into her right pack pocket of these dark jeans just as they were the jean shorts the night before.  This girl who won me over the second I laid eyes on her continued to win me over more tonight.


#13.  Minnesota State Fair, Day 1, Sightings #167-168

If a fetisher is lucky, he gets a “sensory overload” moment once a year, a moment where fate throws so many smoker girls at him at the same time that he’s overwhelmed with elation.  I had a period like that heading up to 10 p.m. on my first night at this year’s Minnesota State Fair.  Specifically it happened near the bathroom structure just to the east of the beer gardens block and I was scoring duo upon duo of first-rate smoker girls only moments apart.  And the capstone of this sensory overload came with the final two girls of the moment…..

I had made the transition to a new stalking post in the midst of the previous sighting, right at the precipice of the smoking area just south of the bathroom, and in doing so, found myself looking at a duo of 15ish blonds….and one of them was smoking.  This was the moment I had been waiting for all day….to see a cute and clearly underage girl wielding a cigarette in the smoking area.  It would have been even cooler to have seen this girl before dark when there were more adults around, but it was still damn cool.  Now to be sure, the friend was hotter, and I was hoping this would be a shared cigarette sighting.  It wasn’t, but I had no business complaining as I looked at this very petite and wildly underage dark blond with her hair up in a ponytail sitting at the heart of the smoking area and smoking an all-white.  But I had to stand and made myself very obvious doing so, thus having to be more discreet than I would have preferred while watching.  She was dressed like so many other smoker girls that evening in a gray tanktop (what’s with all these drab gray tanktops?!?!?) and very nice-fitting jean shorts.  Even 15 years ago, seeing a girl like this smoking would have been surprising, but to wrap my mind around the fact that she was somehow addicted to $8 a pack Minnesota cigarettes in the year 2013 was really a stretch.

As you might expect, her style was rudimentary as she was most likely a pretty recently started smoker, but just seeing a cigarette in hands this young belonging to a girl this cute was the pinnacle moment of this aforementioned sensory overload stretch.  As she began to notice me, I was fortunate enough to still have the previous duo of smokers still puffing away in front of the bathroom and was able to check them out and make myself less conspicuous, albeit at the expense of seeing everything this little cutie had to offer.  Now I suppose this front-row seat to an extended mid-teen smoker sighting should have been enough by itself to satisfy me, but the sighting was about to take a simultaneously delicious and heartbreaking turn…..

There was a huddle of fellow mid-teens, including guys, just to the left of this duo sitting in front of me that included the smoker.  They had obstructed my view of who was seated on the berm until they eventually parted, revealing the profile of another mid-teen smoker, this one a brunette.  Now she wasn’t as petite as the previous girl so when I first spotted her I didn’t even know if she was a mid-teen, but then she took the final drag from her cigarette and turned briefly to reveal most of her face.  Whoa!  This was the face of a sweetheart cheerleader type middle-school-looking girl complete with braces….and she had just smoked!  And I missed almost all of it!  I had to look again to make sure that face was as innocent as first suspected….and it was.  Gahhh!

And then came an entire huddle of girls in the 15-16 range who wandered from elsewhere and joined the group of mid-teens, including the two smokers, as they all apparently came to the fair together.  While it was obvious most of these girls were not smokers, it was refreshing to see the entire group was assuredly a bunch of high school girls and I wasn’t merely being thrown off by a couple of 20-year-olds who looked preternaturally young.  But there was just one stone left unturned with this sighting….the petite blond had to finish her cigarette.  She stood up while preparing to leave with the group of friends, her all-white still in hand, before taking one final drag.  As close as she was to the center of this smoking area and the ashtray, I figured she’d dispose of her butt properly, but instead took the most obnoxious alternative possible.  The berm she was sitting in was full of dense plant life which she took a quick look at before piggishly, dismissively pitching the smoldering all-white butt straight into the berm.  The action and the face of the girl responsible for it could not have been more of a mismatch, and with the girls all leaving now, I had a clear opening to identify the butt.  I used my hand to clear a path of plant life inside the berm where I saw the cigarette get pitched.  A glowing cherry still smoldered and revealed the butt to be a Camel Crush.  This was another example of the general good fortune I had yesterday, being rewarded with a half dozen genuine blockbusters, in this case sweet relief that there are still a few cute high school girls left in Minnesota with smoking habits.

And unfortunately, this sighting had one more heartbreaking turn more than an hour later as I was en route to meeting my parents and leaving the grounds for the night.  A lot of times I get a flurry of sightings on my way out the door but I wouldn’t last night.  Even worse than no sightings, as I was approaching the Coliseum, walking directly in front of me was the large cluster of 15-16ish girls that included the petite blond smoker whose cute butt was wiggling only a few feet in front of my eyes.  Nobody was smoking at this time but I’ve seen several occasions where smoker girls light up first thing after they leave the fairgrounds, which for this group would be in less than a minute.  But I had a problem….I couldn’t follow them.  I had to meet up with my parents, and at this point, they were nowhere to be seen.  Given their absence, I followed the girls hopeful that my parents’ absence was for a reason, but about 10 yards later I heard my name called out.  I looked behind me to a series of benches to see my mom.  Perfect!  My dad showed up with a cup of coffee he just bought about 30 seconds later, and I tried to silently motivate them through my own fast pace to get up and out of the grounds as quickly as possible in hopes of catching at least one person in that mid-teen smoking group puffing on another cigarette, but I couldn’t control this situation.  Walking fast, far ahead of my parents, was not an option here and I had to hold back, through clenched teeth, as the gap grew wider between them an me.  This wasn’t gonna happen.  Obviously this sighting had the potential to be several rungs higher but there were just too many missed opportunities for it to find its way into the top-10 this year.


#12.  Local County Fair, Friday Night

I was having very good luck with Friday evening sightings at my local county fair, and this was the first sighting after the Kenny Rogers where I hit it out of the park, but only wish I could have seen more of it.  It was around 10:30 and I was exiting the midway, zipping out  at a pretty fast clip pursuing another prospect that never played out when I spotted this “cute teenage nerd” wielding a mostly smoked cigarette.  The girl looked 16 or 17 and while she wasn’t the hottest girl at the fair, she had an undeniable IT factor with her glasses, her shoulder-length auburn hair, her gray sweatshirt (it was damn cold tonight) and her jean shorts.  With her IT factor, I’d rate her a solid 8.5 on the beauty spectrum, even though a casual first impression would have problem rated her more like a 7.  Also adding to the cache of this sighting was that she was in the company of a girl who looked similar to her who I figured was a sister that was probably a year younger, and a young blond boy of about 12 who I assumed was her brother seeing as how he wouldn’t be hanging out with these older girls unless they were related.  And this underage girl wasn’t like those cowards the previous night hiding behind the carnival rides when they went out for a smoke….she was smoking right there at the front edge of the midway on a busy street in the center of the fairgrounds, right there for everyone to see.  And at least one person did see, looking down to her young hand and noticing the cigarette that looked so out of place in it.  I was trying to score a photo of this hot shit since it was so precious but wasn’t able to pull it off, and ended up not paying as close of attention as I should have to the first two of her three exhales.  But luckily I gave up on the photo-taking and hung back to enjoy the sighting’s awesome final act…..

She inserted the stub of the cigarette into her mouth and took a solid drag.  She held the smoke inside for an impressive amount of time before I watched a very slow trickle of smoke flow from her mouth and nose, slowly building steam and pouring out for about three seconds…..and then wrapping up with one of those giant blasts of leftover smoke that just squeezed out towards the tail end of her exhale.  And this girl was no older than 17!  She outsmoked every one of the veteran smoker ladies in the beer gardens earlier that night!  And she still wasn’t done as she piggishly dropped her cigarette butt to the pavement in front of her and then released a nice juicy lugie as a final flourish.  Now I was too mesmerized watching her myself to know if the younger sister and brother were watching her as well, but the only thing going through my head with the final observation of this family dynamic is that I bet the younger sister wants to smoke like Big Sis someday soon…and that the younger brother’s sexual identity is probably being corrupted forever by watching Big Sis’s stinky teen smoking shows all the time, complete with all the bells and whistles I just witnessed with just one damn drag!  The trio cooperated by drifting off and I was able to identify the butt  It was a Camel Light.  I desperately wanted to see this group again so I could study that smoker girl more and the odds seemed in my favor that I’d get that chance….but sadly I never saw them again.


#11.  Minnesota State Fair, Day 1, Sightings #15-16

There was tremendous uncertainty heading into my first day at this year’s Minnesota State Fair as I had no idea how the new “designated smoking areas” would play out.  Early on I got a few anecdotal inclinations that it wouldn’t be as bad as I feared but it wasn’t even noon yet when my mind was put at ease as I scored my first great sighting of the day.  And part of what made this sighting so much fun was that it didn’t even occur in one of the smoking areas….

As I was walking southward towards the International Bazaar, en route to one of the designated smoking areas, I found a trio of late teens approaching me, two blond girls and a guy.  And one of the girls, a dark blond in a yellow T-shirt and white shorts barely visible below the long T-shirt, had a cigarette in hand.  Particularly heartwarming was that she didn’t look like a smoker at all.  She wasn’t milk-and-honey wholesome per se, but she definitely looked like a good kid who would not be inclined to take up smoking in the year 2013.  And the guy in the group had a beard but didn’t appear the least bit thuggish either.  Yet here they were strutting through the Minnesota State Fairgrounds in complete violation of the fairgrounds’ ban of smoking outside of designated locations.  I followed and snapped a photo from behind, delighted to see my first girl-next-door smoker cutie of the day.  Her smoking was solid but undistinguished but there was one disappointment in my first minute or so of observation of this sighting….and that was the fact that gorgeous long-haired blond friend was the only one of the three not smoking.  I hadn’t given up that she ultimately would, and I ended up being right….

The beautiful blond with the pink and white hat, the pink tanktop, and the incredible ass draped in very pale blue cutoffs made my day at the Minnesota State Fair worthwhile when she took possession of the cigarette from the blond friend and turned the sighting into a two-for-one about 90 seconds into the sighting.  It’s girls like this I spend so much time at these fairs to see smoking as her feminine profile could not have been more perfect and the insertion of the cork filter cigarette between her lips made the masterpiece complete.  Her smoking style was like the friend’s in that it offered no bells and whistles but still impressed with some nice draw times on the drag.  The trio eventually sat down on the curb to finish their cigarettes.  Obviously I would have preferred if both girls had their own cigarettes, but the shared cigarette sighting was perfectly acceptable given the otherwise delicious optics.  I lurked in the forefront, sneaking a few photos (it’s much easier to sneak photos with my new camera phone than with the old one) and watching a solid performance.  The original blond in the yellow top, who was a solid 8 on the beauty spectrum herself but was nonetheless wildly upstaged by her friend, wrapped up the cigarette and smoked it incredibly close to the filter before crushing it out on the curb and leaving with the guy.  I checked out the butt and could only identify the green ring on the filter which I believe is a variation of Marlboro Menthols.  From there, it was just a matter of watching that blond in pink walk away, my heart melting watching her ass wiggle in those pale blue cutoffs.  If this was the best sighting I scored for the day, the day would be worthwhile.  And it ended up being my third best sighting of the day, poised for its position on my blog as one of the year’s best.


#10.  Iowa State Fair, Day 1, Sightings #68-69

I faced a major decision in the early evening of my first day at this year’s Iowa State Fair.  The day had been pretty awful thus far for smoker sightings and the time was approaching for a concert by the country-rock group BlackHawk, which was one of my favorite groups when I was in  high school.  Should I cut my losses from this weak day and attend the concert or try to salvage some greatness perusing a more heavily traveled portion of the grounds where smoker girls would more likely be.  I opted to attend the concert, and little did I know it would produce my best stretch of sightings of the day.   During the 8:00 hour as the concert was ongoing, I perused the perimeter of this  concert grounds and was surprised to continue to tick off sightings of above-average young ladies, but after thinking about it, it sort of made sense.  I came of age in the mid-90s when BlackHawk was at the peak of their popularity.  At the same point in time, teen smoking rates were spiking at their highest rates since the late 1970s so a lot of the late 20s and early 30s gals who were fans of BlackHawk back in 1995 have likely carried their smoking habits with them into adulthood.  While I wasn’t likely to get any sightings of 17 year old cuties at this concert, it was clear a good number of my demographic contemporaries were aging gracefully here, and if you had told me I’d stumble upon my best sighting of the day on the periphery of the BlackHawk concert, I’d have told you that you were crazy, but that’s exactly what happened….

The new horse building on the grounds served as kind of a back wall to this outdoor concert venue and it served as a good spot for people seeking some level of isolation for a smoke break.  And luckily for me, I got there in time to see a duo of late 20s blonds doing just that, FINALLY  bringing a healthy dose of glamour to the evening.  The first girl was plenty pretty, a darker blond in a dark top and pink shorts, but the second girl was a perfect 10 knockout, a curly-haired platinum blond with a blue-and-white striped top and rocking a tight pair of white pants.  She was by far the prettiest girl I had seen all day with a cigarette in her mouth with soft features that matched her feminine outfit, and her smoking dominated my observation.  It’s possible that she noticed me as she was constantly changing positions making it hard to get extended vantage points of her smoking even though I was close, but the drags I did see were very pleasing, with nice slow and extended draws producing pleasured looks on her already gorgeous face that didn’t abate until the smoke slowly trickled from her face.  It was easy to focus on her because the other blond dropped her still-smoldering cigarette to the edge of the shrubs not long after I got there.  Moments after that, the dark blond asked her more attractive friend to watch her purse while she went inside the horse building to visit the bathroom.  Now it was just me and the beauty, a few feet apart and her with a cigarette, both rocking out to BlackHawk music which created an even more charged atmosphere to accompany the sighting….

The friend may have surrendered her cigarette earlier than she needed to, but my beauty queen wasn’t giving hers up that easy.  She kept dragging from it long after I figured she would, enjoying every drag and waiting for the friend to resurface.  Finally the cigarette hit the pavement and she crushed it out.  But I was sooo gonna stick around to identify that butt.  It would require a little more patience though as the friend emerged from the bathroom moments later and my favorite girl took her turn to empty out her bladder.  In the meantime, the dark blond in the pink shorts picked up her purse.  Hot damn she’s gonna get more cigarettes, I thought to myself.  And she did…but oddly enough, it was an orange pack of Pall Malls (!) that emerged from purse.  Not again!  It’s still a bit of a bummer to me when hot girls settle for Pall Malls, which is something I haven’t come across until the past two weeks and now my favorite girls from the Iowa State Fair were suddenly smoking Pall Malls too.  I didn’t let it ruin the sighting though as things were still going nicely here with the dark blond firing up her second cigarette of the last few minutes.

Moments later, the beauty queen was back.  The thought had crossed my mind that maybe she’d smoke again too now that the friend was, but I didn’t want to get greedy.  Sure enough…the same orange pack of Pall Malls, which they must have been sharing, re-emerged and my glamour girl was lighting up her second as well.  At this point, since I didn’t really have anywhere to go anyway with the concert ongoing, I was hoping to just hang back and enjoy the show, but this time they both walked away, cigarettes in hand, and proceeded closer to the concert stage.  I held up some hope that maybe the blond’s first cigarette was not a Pall Mall so I knelt down where they had just stood and was taken aback to see four Pall Mall butts with orange logos right beneath where they had been standing.  These gals had apparently smoked ANOTHER cigarette before I even got there.  These are my kind of girls, Pall Malls or not.  Unfortunately they were long gone at this point and I couldn’t catch up, but I would see them again very late in the evening, this time not smoking.  Finally, I found a sighting that got my adrenaline going, and I’d be fortunate to ride out the momentum for the remaining 15 minutes of the concert.


#9.  Local County Fair, Wednesday Night

In the 10 p.m. hour of my Wednesday night at the county fair, I had been in hot pursuit of a group of wholesome mid-teen cuties who settled near the back side of the midway near the “big kid rides” after I falsely thought I heard say “having a cigarette”.  They never did come through, but they led me to somebody else who did.  As I was finally getting ready to exit the midway, here came a cluster of four guys and two girls with one very familiar face.  It was last year’s 15-year-old Selena Gomez lookalike (FCF #8), the star sighting of the 2012 FCF who I saw smoking three cigarettes last year, including two of them only a few minutes apart.  Well she’s back…and she’s got herself yet another cigarette for 2013!   First of all, she doesn’t look at all like Selena Gomez anymore, even though I still instantly identified her.  With another year of maturity, that innocent look she was rocking last year is gone….and now she looks much more confident and mature….and suffice it to say her smoking style has matured as well.  Last year she was sort of on the line with some noticeably beginner drags and exhales interspersed with a few that looked a little more skilled.  Fast forward to August 1, 2013, and she was sticking the landing with every deep drag and every robust, cloudy exhale.  For such occasions in the future, I need to make sure I print off certificates of graduation to hand out to these girls.

At least when I first saw her, she was the only one of the group of six smoking.  The only other girl with her was the same Hispanic or Asian (not sure which, maybe a mix) friend who was among her entirely female posse last year.  But some dudes with good taste have latched onto this action and are keeping close company with this fast-maturing smoker.  The Asian friend got nailed at least once with a reckless and cloudy exhale and the guys were never far away from her blasts either.  They formed a circle near the back of the midway and my brunette, who by the way was rocking a white tanktop and very tiny black shorts showing off those long legs of hers, was joined by one of the males in the group who lit a cigarette of his own, although I think it might have come from her pack.  Whatever the case, I tried to get my first after-dark photo but it was just too risky at this spot, so I awkwardly settled back and watched the show, proud of last year’s little girl smoker for having matured into a woman smoker even if she’s still only 16 (or possibly 17).  She crushed out the cigarette into the dirt and much as I wanted to identify it, the guy was still smoking his cigarette so I knew I’d have to wait.  Thankfully she helped me pass the time nicely by digging a white hoodie out of her bag and slipping it on, hood included.  It was a pretty cool night, but there’s no cuter contrast than a hoodie and a pair of the tiniest shorts you’ve ever seen.  Eventually she and the group walked away and I approached the cigarette butt.  It warmed my heart to see she was sticking with Newports.

In moments I made another attempt to exit the midway but was sidetracked by another smoking hottie, and the delay timed my midway exit perfectly as I was heading up to the north side of the grounds for a drink of water.  And who was coming my direction but the mid-teen Newport girl that used to look like Selena Gomez and her group of friends.  The same guy who smoked before was smoking again now….and so was the Newport brunette who is probably at least a pack a day smoker by now.  I couldn’t linger and watch as I did before (which by the way was at most 10 minutes earlier) but hovered just long enough to see a couple more drags and exhales, and they continued to dazzle well beyond her tender years.  The beauty of the FCF is it’s my only venue where I have a reasonable expectation of seeing smoker girls mature year to year given its relatively small size compared to other venues.  With luck, Newport Selena would return in the next three nights and dazzle me some more.

Unfortunately, while she did return the next night, it was to take a seat in the grandstand at the Dustin Lynch concert with a friend.  She was wearing another of her tanktops and microscopic jean shorts, and was ascending the stairs and appearing to come to a stop right next to the row where I was seated, but then she and the friend turned left instead of right and migrated to a place out of view.  Still, I convinced myself this girl could never last the entire concert without smoking so I’d probably see her out in the smoking area soon enough…but I didn’t.  And after the concert, I spotted her and the friend with two guys on the midway.  I even followed them for a bit, but unlike last night my timing was off with her tonight as I didn’t see her smoke at all this evening….or for the rest of the fair for that matter.


#8.  Iowa State Fair, Day 2, Sightings #16-17, #46

It was still fairly early in the night during my mid-week evening visit to the Iowa State Fair, and I was exploring the perimeter of the free stage where country singer Jana Kramer would be performing in another hour or so.  I had already scored a decent sighting of a blond in the seating area, but from there I proceeded towards the stage itself to evaluate the mostly female concertgoers hovered in that area.  Most smokers head off to a grassy area to the west of the stage and the seating area to light up, so imagine my pleasant surprise when I found two 18ish light brunettes who simply migrated a slight distance to the edge of the cluster to smoke cigarettes, still right in front of the stage.  Hot damn!  I finally found what I was looking for as in front of me stood these wholesome looking girls who looked like they came straight off the farm in their dark blue jeans with giant belt buckles decorated with gold trim.  My initial observations were limited as I was preparing my camera to take a photo, but as I was doing so, I watched them both take final drags from their cigarettes and drop them to the pavement, wasting no time walking back into the huddle of kids near the stage.  I walked up to their discarded cigarettes to see a Camel Light and a Camel Crush.  I then tried to find them again in the crowd but couldn’t.  What a heartbreaker.  I knew they would probably be my sighting of the night so I really felt robbed…and I hadn’t even really gotten that good of a look at them beyond the fact that one of the girls looked really wholesome.  All I could hope for was that fate would reward me with an encore from them later.

Fast forward to around 9:30 after the end of the Jana Kramer concert.  I was reluctantly walking away from the best cigar sighting I’ve gotten in two years (the aforementioned #15 girl on this year’s list) to explore the departing concert crowd.  And my instinct to explore was right as a group of four teenage girls was approaching, two of them wielding cigarettes.  It took a split second to realize it was the girls who I had seen before the Jana Kramer concert smoking just off to the side of the crowd in front of the stage but who had only one drag left on their cigarettes when I got there.  The girls who I said would have been my best sightings of the day if I had seen more of them earlier at that point did just become my best sightings of the day.  I was intrigued how the two smokers in the group were dressed so much alike, both with those dark jeans with big belt buckles and gold trim.  They looked like the kind of jeans that 4-Hers wear when showing livestock, a scenario that was entirely possible regarding their activities earlier that day.  They also wore black tops and tied-up headbands.

As for their looks, they were both cute.  The girl on the right had shoulder-length light brunette hair and had just a touch of chubbiness.  From her face to her body image, she was the near-spitting image of this Brittany girl I dated for several months in late 2011 and early 2012, herself a smoker.  They seriously could have been sisters.  But the girl on the left beat her out.  She was absolutely adorable with a tender, wholesome face that easily exceeded the beauty level of anybody else in the foursome, most closely comparable to a young Alicia Silverstone.  And like my cigar smoker, she also had her light brown hair hanging over her shoulder in a braid.  Her headband was the colors of the American flag.

As for their smoking, the styles varied as well.  I would say the girl who looked like Brittany (not to be confused with ISF #5 “Brittny by the way) was probably the better smoker, taking longer drags and producing cloudier exhales, while the cuter girl with the braid took shorter but more frequent drags with smaller exhales.  It was heavenly walking behind them and smelling their exhales while admiring their asses in those tight jeans.  Walking westward on the concourse, it was the girl with the braid who finished her cigarette first, piggishly dropping the still-smoldering all-white butt to the pavement only a few feet in front of a cop who was looking straight at her, and then continued walking.  I knew one of these girls smoked Camel Lights and the other smoked Camel Crushes, but I didn’t know which brand went with which girl.  I stood there until the cop looked the other way and then checked it out.  My favorite girl was the Camel Crush smoker.  I then picked up my pace and began following them again, catching up rather quickly.  The Brittany lookalike took her final drag about a minute later and then also dropped her still-smoldering butt to the pavement without crushing it out. As expected, hers was a Camel Light.  For the first time tonight, I was feeling genuinely good.  The girls were heading west towards the exits and the shuttle bus, so I figured they were leaving for the evening.  I turned around to go back to the center of the grounds and see if my other wholesome teen cutie was still working on that cigar.

She was, of course, and I finished up that cigar sighting moments later on the fairgrounds’ south side, then proceeding northward to a beer gardens on the northeast that usually has some activity.  And reinforcing my perspective on who were the best girls of this year’s Iowa State Fair, the same foursome that included the girls who I assumed were leaving only about 15 minutes earlier were back, and my favorite girl—the quasi-Alicia Silverstone lookalike—already had another cigarette going.  I was impressed by how heavily she appeared to smoke for a girl who didn’t look much like a smoker.  The friend, who looked much more like a smoker, was soon enough extracting a fresh Camel Light from her own pack.  These girls, who may have been 18 but were too young to drink, hovered in front of this bar listening to the music and behaving a little more rowdy than they were before, apparently to the chagrin of another group of nonsmoking teens just off to their side who appeared a little intimidated.  I was able to take a bench and observe and had a front-row seat to the smoking performances of my favorite girls of the evening.  I was resigned to the fact that the other two girls in the group were nonsmokers, but was taken aback by what happened next, the craziest moment of this sighting or any sighting at the 2013 Iowa State Fair.  My adorable light brunette with the braid grabbed hold of her nonsmoking brunette friend and playfully pulled her back, proceeding to insert her cigarette in the girl’s mouth.  Not sure what the context was, but the nonsmoking brunette proceeded to wrap her lips around the filter of the cigarette and take a quick drag while in a headlock.  She wouldn’t take another drag, willingly or unwillingly, but the move made me fall in further in love with my cutie with the American flag headband.  I stuck around on that bench and watched the two smokers finish their cigarettes, at last feeling as though I will walk away from this year’s Iowa State Fair with at least one great memory.


#7.  Local County Fair, Friday Night

My Friday evening at the local county fair was quite productive and as the evening approached its end, I had no reason to feel frustrated by what I had seen, but nonetheless felt a little annoyed at the fairly slow clip of memorable sightings in the evening’s final hour.  But at right around 11:30, those feelings of frustration turned to feelings of elation with the instant recognition of one familiar face.  In the middle of the huddle of young people at the center of the grounds, I saw a cigarette in the hand of this blond who I could tell from the rear was gonna be something special…..and as I got in front of her I instantly recognized a face that would stand out in any crowd any day….the hyperglamorous blond who wore tiny and unapologetically slutty miniskirts every night to the 2011 FCF, when I figured she was probably 17, and who I saw smoke four cigarettes over the course of three nights in 2011.  I didn’t see her at all in 2012, but hot damn she was back tonight, and suffice to say she hasn’t become more subtle about advertising her sex appeal in these past two years.  Her wavy mane of shoulder length blond hair was framed with a black tied-up headband that sort of made her look like a cat.  Her top was black and had a wide-open back exposing her bare flesh, with a pair of skin-tight black shorts underneath, and honest-to-God fishnet stockings on her legs.  Who is this girl?!?!?

Whoever she is, the best compliment that can be given about her is that she is absolutely gorgeous.  I couldn’t place who she reminded of until tonight when it finally hit me.  She looks like Christie Brinkley.  Now I don’t say that lightly as Christie Brinkley is one of the most beautiful women on the planet, but this girl could be her daughter….albeit her smelly, black-lunged daughter.  And if there was any doubt about this girl being the same girl from 2011, it was quelled as I observed her smoking as she still had that infuriatingly slow pacing, often waiting 90 seconds between drags.  But it was always worth it as her drags were sweet and her exhales were reckless and carefree, spilling out of her face amidst this tight huddle of mostly nonsmoking (and mostly male!) friends guaranteed to give someone an unpleasant snootful of her exhaled carcinogens.  Unsurprisingly though, none of these guys seemed to mind!!

Now I say “mostly nonsmoking friends” as she had another blond friend with her who was also smoking.  The friend was pretty but rougher around the edges and nowhere near in the league of the megaglam sexpot in the fishnet stockings.  I tried to snap some photos and had some decent opportunities, but apparently this camera doesn’t take closeups in the dark any better than the other camera so they’re all a blurry mess.  Shame too because you really need to see this girl to believe her.  Anyway, she took a final drag and I watched the final gush of smoke flow from her beautiful face as she dropped the cigarette to the ground.  And luck was on my side because the crowd dispersed some in that location and allowed me to swoop in and identify the butt.  She’s switched brands as her Camel Lights from 2011 have been replaced by Camel Crush Bolds.

I was riding high after that one, needless to say, and it was approaching time for me to get out of there, so I took a five-minute loop around the midway and then returned to the main street of the grounds.  This was the place where my little miniskirted stinker always seemed to hang out back in 2011, and this was where she was again.  I was so busy admiring that ass and that face that I didn’t even notice for several seconds that this foul-smelling beauty had ANOTHER cigarette lit up!  At most five minutes after finishing the last one.  Extra points for cuteness that she was holding her cigarette in the same hand as a can of Diet Coke.  And she actually smoked this one faster than the last one, taking more brisk drags and continuing to release scattershot exhales that made no effort to avoid the two nonsmoking guys in her presence….or any other luckless fairgoers in this fairly compressed block either for that matter.  On my way out of the grounds, I took one more admiring look at her gorgeous face….and got off imagining how this beautiful face probably coughs up tar every morning based on her clearly ferocious smoking habit.


#6.  Minnesota State Fair, Day 2, Sightings #176-179

The rain was without question a problem for my night on my second day at the Minnesota State Fair, but I must admit that it certainly did not blow the whole night up.  In fact, it was kind of the opposite.  The sightings during and after the rain were among my best of the entire day.  And no sightings from last evening were better than what came next.  I approached the west side of the grandstand, knowing that the Macklemore concert was now ongoing but still hoping for some nicotine-addicted stragglers outside the gate.  But it was a distance away from the grandstand area where the real action was at that time, about 10 yards behind it where a group of four college-age blonds were standing and it was obvious instantly that cigarettes were being smoked.  As I approached and surveyed the foursome, I was impressed by their attractiveness and even more impressed that three of the four were smoking.  Despite the fact that they were all a little glammed up, there was a good girl vibe to all four girls.  None of them were less than 8s on the 1-10 scale of hotness, but two of the smokers stood out a little less than the other smoker and the nonsmoker.  I was a little bummed about the nonsmoker of the group because she was the most wholesome, the cutest, and the youngest-looking of the four, but considering I had three beautiful smokers in front of me, I couldn’t be that damn greedy.  I had a very nearby bench where I sat down and watched the show in its entirety, with a nice front-row seat to the most attractive blond who was also the most glamorous of the four with curly long blond hair and a very sexy blue and white dress.  Of the three smokers, she seemed the most skilled as well, with the most frequent drags and the cloudiest exhales.  I had been observing this sighting for about three minutes now and thought I had a pretty good feel for everything that was going on, but then found myself in for the surprise of the night…..

One of the two lesser smokers from out of nowhere handed the cigarette to the blond who I had presumed was a nonsmoker.  Oh sweet!  Didn’t see that one coming but she was about to become the fourth sighting of this group.  But I figured it was gonna find its way to the petite blond’s hand for one drag and then be handed back to its original possessor.  Boy was I wrong.  The wholesome blond grabbed hold of the cork filter cigarette and inserted it into her mouth where it stayed for an extended dangle.  She dug through her purse, dragging from the dangling cigarette with every breath and producing dragon-like expulsions of carcinogens from her adorable face with three successive breaths, all while dangling the cigarette for at least 20 seconds.  She removed the cigarette from her face, wisps of smoke still trickling out of her mouth and nose.  This was unbelievable!  The most wholesome-looking girl of this foursome just went from being the group’s only assumed nonsmoker to the girl who smoked the other three to complete shame.

And this sweetheart was just getting started, putting the cigarette back into her mouth for a repeat performance of what I just saw, ANOTHER 20-second dangle as she dug through her purse, with ferocious dragon-like expulsions of smoke from all of her facial orifices following repeated dangling drags.  It was a rare moment that this girl left the cigarette alone long enough for me to actually admire her features, and she was a cute little thing.  She was probably the same age as the others, who all looked about 21 or 22, but it’s possible she was younger.  Either way, she looked 18 with soft facial features, a black headband in her blond hair, along with a white tanktop and black shorts covering her nice figure….

The other two girls with cigarettes were wrapping theirs up, with the less distinguished remaining smoker dropping hers to the wet pavement first, followed about 30 seconds later by the glam girl in the blue dress, but the surprise star of the show still had some smoking left of her cigarette, and was merciless in hitting it for the duration of the sighting, a haze of smoke always lingering not far from her face.  Even when she wasn’t dragging in mid-dangle, she’d do a no-handlesbars drag, removing her fingers from the cigarette while she took the drag and then pulling the cigarette away.  I couldn’t have been more turned on, but before the sighting ended she had one more incredible moment.  The girl who seemed like the wallflower of this group as I first observed them was now the alpha female, looking ahead of her to this mini-donuts stand and calling out something aloud for the group which led me to believe she was gonna buy some donuts as she rapidly approached the stand.

The cigarette was dangling from her mouth and she was dragging from it as she walked, and most adorably, a line of two or three people was standing there for mini-donuts, and my girl cluelessly walked right past them as she removed the cigarette from her mouth and cut loose a giant exhale that nailed at least one of them (a middle-aged guy) in the face.  I didn’t notice a response from the guy and was a little surprised he didn’t give one.  Apparently rainy weather brings out vulgar female smoking behavior because this was one of about a half dozen acts of genuinely obnoxious smoking I observed from smoker girls last night.  Whatever she approached that stand for was not mini-donuts because she came back empty-handed and was now ready to move on, beckoning the other girls to follow her elsewhere in the fairgrounds, the stub of her cigarette still in hand next to those sexy black shorts.  Two more drags and she dropped it to the pavement and pressed forward, giving me my chance to approach and ID the butt as a Marlboro Smooth.  I then went back to the butts the other smoker girls finished and they were both Parliaments.  There are few things I love more than sightings that produce genuine surprises halfway through, and you’d be hard-pressed to find a sighting that ended as unpredictably as this one did!


#5.  Minnesota State Fair, Day 1, Sightings #160-161

I was seated on the cement of the seating area outside the west side of the grandstand during the early 9:00 hour of my first night at the Minnesota State Fair, thoroughly enjoying a quality threesome of college-age smoker girls puffing away in front of my face.  I wasn’t gonna walk away from this show for just anything, but at one point I just happened to look to my left at exactly the right time to see a duo of 18ish girls in tanktops and jean shorts strutting their way through the grounds wielding cigarettes, leaving a smoke trail in their path.  Suddenly I had an entirely new conquest to see what would become of them.  As I maneuvered around and followed them with my eyes, I determined that these two weren’t the MOST beautiful girls on the fairgrounds that night, but they were nonetheless above average and the devil-may-care confidence they exuded breaking the smoking rules of the Minnesota State Fair immediately let me know I was in for a treat here, but I didn’t know just how much of a treat and wouldn’t have guessed they would end up being my second best sightings of the day as they did.

They turned towards the entrance of the grandstand, where a female fairgrounds cop stood there guarding the gate, mostly to make sure nobody without a ticket tried to sneak into the Sammy Hagar concert.  I had just assumed these girls were heading to the area’s sizeable designated smoking area to finish their cigarettes, but they just kept marching right on up to the cop as if they were gonna go into the grandstand.  They greeted the cop as they got there and attempted to walk past her, but were politely stopped in their tracks and I heard the cop say “No you can’t smoke in there”.  Did these barely legal girls seriously believe they were gonna not only slide past the cop into the grandstand with cigarettes in hand, but go in to see the show without tickets?  Um, girls, it hasn’t been legal to smoke inside the grandstand for at least 10 years….when the two of you were still in elementary school!  How could girls who grew up in the era of ever-tightening smoking bans be this clueless?  I have no idea, but the sex appeal was absolutely off the charts as they turned around defeated, walking past me the other direction and finally giving me the first look at their faces….

As I said, these girls didn’t stop traffic with their supermodel beauty, but nonetheless looked too wholesome and too pretty to fit the stereotype of smokers in the year 2013.  The taller, long-haired light brunette was the prettier and more wholesome of the two, and as she walked past me she was still rolling her eyes about being spurned by the cop for trying to walk into the concert with a cigarette. She was wearing a gray tanktop and short pale blue shorts that framed a nice ass and long, slender legs.  The other girl was a dark brunette with hair that was still long but not as long as the friend’s.  She had a little more meat on her bones but wasn’t chubby.  She was wearing a darker and higher-riding pair of jean shorts that from afar was the first thing about this duo that stood out for me.  She was without question cute, and from what I observed appeared to be a slightly better smoker, but the other girl fascinated me more.

They proceeded out of the smoking area and into the grounds, cigarettes still in hand, ironically walking away in disgust from the cop for trying to get into one part of the grounds that didn’t allow smoking while either cluelessly or intentionally advancing into another part of the grounds that didn’t allow smoking.  These two were something else, and as I followed, my heart filled with sexual desire at the contrast between their feminine teenage girl presentation and the brash and almost thuggish way they marched around smoking cigarettes on forbidden ground.  I had no idea where they were headed as they proceeded into the grass but it became clear they were headed into the ladies’ bathroom under the grandstand’s entryway.  The taller girl dropped her still smoldering cigarette to the pavement and half-heartedly crushed it out a few yards in front of the bathroom and immediately in front of this middle-aged guy standing there waiting. He didn’t respond to the girl’s butt drop but may have been saying a few things to himself about it.  Meanwhile, the darker brunette friend waited until she was right near the entrance of the bathroom to take the final drag from her cigarette and dropped it to the ground.  Unfortunately, this guy had taken note of me and wasn’t going anywhere, probably waiting for his wife or friend to leave the bathroom, and I wasn’t gonna be able to identify their butts with him standing there.  I hovered impatiently until my suspicion was confirmed, and a middle-aged woman left the bathroom and took off with the guy about a minute or so later.  It was now wide open for me to identify both butts…..and they were both Marlboro No. 27s, a brand I didn’t even know existed anymore.

I got a little greedy after that, shuttling back to the smoking area hoping to see the aforementioned college-aged threesome that began this great roll.  They were done smoking and walking away, so  I boogied on over to where they sat hoping to see three freshly extinguished cork filter butts laying there….but there was nothing.  When coming up empty there, I headed back to the bathroom hoping to catch the teen smokers exit but figuring they’d probably left by now.  They must have because they were nowhere to be seen and continued not to be after I waited another minute or so.  I was a little bummed as I really felt like I needed to see those two girls again to qualify their look matched with their performance, and was kicking myself for the next few minutes for walking away to pursue closure with the threesome.

My “sensory overload” moment played out shortly after this followed by a cooling-off period.  But when my time was reduced to the last 20 minutes or so before the moment I had hoped for emerged.  I said earlier that I really wished I had seen a little more of that 18ish duo that tried to strut into the grandstand with cigarettes in hand, and at about 10:05 my wish was granted as the girls were sitting on the curb across the street from the beer gardens block smoking another round of cigarettes.  The cigarettes were about half smoked and it was only about an hour since their last, so all evidence pointed to these two being pretty dedicated smokers for their age.  Given that they were now stationary, I was better positioned to study their smoking styles and their looks.  My original impression was reinforced that the light brunette was the cuter of the two, and her hot body in those skimpy short jean shorts was displayed perfectly.  I’ve just recently noticed that a girl in shorts looks hottest when seated on a curb, giving a full profile vantage point of her lower-body curves as she’s seated.  In some cases when the shorts are really short, as they were here, some of the girl’s bare ass is actually touching the curb.  The image was impossibly sexy, revealing just how little denim was actually covering that incredible ass of hers.

But as amazing as her ass was, the two-for-one smoking show dazzled even more.  The girls were solid smokers and unlike earlier when it seemed the dark brunette was even better, they seemed about even on this performance.  In fact, I probably gave the light brunette cutie in the short shorts the edge here because after her two final drags, she proceeded to launch two lugies off to her side, both cute girlish little lugies that nonetheless contrasted deliciously with her decidedly feminine image.  I didn’t really think much of it until I watched both girls crush out their cigarettes on the curb and get up to leave moments later.  I knew they both smoked Marlboro No. 27s, but still sat where they did to verify. I was caught off guard when I spotted two groupings of a half dozen or so lugies right near where the girls had sat.  I know not everyone is into smoker girls spitting but for me it’s incredibly hot to know that these two cuties are chronic spitters, repeatedly salivating so close to where their tender young bodies were seated.  These two were already poised to be among my favorite sightings of the day, but the second encounter assured their stature as the second best sighting of the day.


#4.   Minnesota State Fair, Day 1, Sighting #143

My first day at this year’s Minnesota State Fair didn’t have any full-blown epic sightings where the quality of the girl matched a first-rate storyline, but there were five or six sightings that I would qualify as “great”, most of which came after dark.  But Sighting #143 from the 8 p.m. hour was without question the day’s best.  The Sammy Hagar concert had long ago started as I was searching outside the west side of the grandstand and its smoking area.  There was nobody worthwhile there but on a berm about 10 yards away sat an attractive young couple wielding cigarettes.  I approached to take a seat next to them and the closer I got, the more obvious it was that the girl was an epic beauty, a perfect 10 dark brunette who looked about 22 with soft and symmetrical facial features wearing a black tanktop and short shorts (it was too dark as I approached to see what color her shorts were), her bare legs crossed as she attended to her phone.  And as I sat next to them, I avoided being suspicious by attending to some actual business, that being removing my shoes and putting those gel-filled inserts that I often do in the final two hours of the evening in order to give some extra cushion for my sore feet.  Putting these inserts in has been a good luck charm on a couple of occasions in the past, leading to imminent sightings greatness, and this would be another such case.  But I became frustrated after about a minute seated there because the cigarette had still not yet approached her lips.  I was resigned to her likely being a loosely committed smoker, but could not have been proven more wrong with the extreme smoking show that awaited me….

The cigarette finally approached her mouth for an extended stay as she wrapped her lips around the cork filter and starting pulling on it with the ferocity of some retro carnival act using his teeth to pull a railroad car.   Her ingestion period lasted a good seven seconds before the cigarette came out of her mouth.  At this point, a massive cloud of uninhaled smoke hovered in front of her gorgeous face, but within a split second, her gluttonous respiratory system sucked it up like a vacuum, with every trace of that smoke disappearing into her mouth and nose.  And then it just stayed there for another five seconds or so, before exiting her face entirely through her nose.  Now understand my precarious arrangement here, seated next to this couple on the berm with the boyfriend closest to me while I dangerously observed this madness from a few feet away, my jaw undoubtedly hanging wide open at the awesomeness of what I just witnessed.  Even smoking at a relatively slow pace, the cigarette wouldn’t be long for this world with the repeated acts of graphic violence she was perpetrating against it.  I eagerly awaited her next drag and she somehow managed to outdo the first, inserting the cigarette into her mouth and going through a literal three stages of dragging over the course of about eight seconds.  It was as if she was about to let loose and end her drag on two different occasions, but just loved the taste and the feel of the smoke so much that the devil on her shoulder just demanded she extend the drag a little bit longer.  I could literally see the bright red cherry on her cigarette grow in size as the paper and tobacco withered away over the course of her merciless drag.  When it finally ended, I once again got to witness the vacuum effect as a haze of uninhaled smoke in front of her face was sucked back inside of her, followed by a long hold and a 100% nasal exhale.  Apparently her mouth was too exhausted from those long drags to go through the extra work of exhaling all that smoke.  That job was allocated exclusively to her cute little button nose.

I saw two more drags but didn’t have the vantage point with the boyfriend in the way to tell if they were as inspired as the first two.  The boyfriend finished his cigarette first and the gorgeous girlfriend soon followed, crushing her cigarette out on the berm and dropping it to the pavement.  They walked away and conveniently gave me the opening to identify her cigarette as a Camel Crush Bold.  I had really wished I had scored this sighting during the daytime hours, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized the nightime visual of the huge and growing cherry that accompanied her rapist drags would have been lost if this happened during the day.  Still, it sucked not getting a photo, especially when she and the luckiest-guy-in-Minnesota boyfriend walked away and I got to see her full profile and the color of her shorts for the first time.  They were skimpy white cutoffs with fraying at the bottom and her pockets hanging just slightly below the fraying.  The white shorts were icing on the cake for this masterpiece and I so wanted to smack that perfect ass of hers as it progressed forward, working the shorts in a way I’d been waiting all day to see from a hot young smoker girl.  I had a good feeling about this girl when I sat down but she exceeded expectations in a genuinely explosive way.


#3.  Local County Fair, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday Nights

I guess I had taken a brief mental note of a family that walked into the fair gate ahead of me that Wednesday afternoon at the county fair, a family that included a dark brunette late teen daughter in a sexy red Minnesota Twins tanktop and dark blue jean shorts, but my main priority at the gate was to get the same hot blond ticket taker chick from the previous night rather than the old man next to her.  Unfortunately, I ended up with the old man, and he and the other ticket takers were wearing their obligatory “Smoke Free Wednesday and Saturday” T-shirts that further annoyed me.  But I had about three seconds to feel sorry for myself before looking up from the man and seeing a huge geyser of airborne smoke rising from the family that went in ahead of me.  At first I noticed cigarettes in the hands of the working-class parents.  But then I saw the late teen daughter (I figured she was 18 or 19) had a freshly lit cigarette of her own….and she was boogeying the other direction with cigarette in tow.  Only 30 seconds into Day 2 of the local county fair, I knew I had probably already seen the best sighting of the night.  Little did I know it would become the sighting to beat for best FCF sighting of 2013….

The girl was really hoofing it to whatever her destination was and I was a good 50 yards behind when I first noticed her, meaning I was damn near running to catch up.  Eventually I did but had to continue a brisk pace as the girl was clearly in a major hurry.  But however much of a hurry she was in, she wasn’t so distracted as to neglect her cigarette.  Far from it.  She was dragging copiously while strutting through this fairgrounds at top speed like she owned the place, recklessly and obnoxiously exhaling plumes of smoke that didn’t nail anyone directly but created lingering clouds that people were noticing.  Either this girl didn’t know about “Smoke Free Wednesday” or didn’t give a flying fuck because she was doing whatever she pleased.  It was such an unimaginably sexy image, seeing this very pretty barely legal dark brunette marching through the fairgrounds with a combination of supercharged summertime feminine sex appeal and complete confidence in her image.  Much as I hate tattoos, even the couple small tattoos on her shoulder and ankle couldn’t break my admiration for her.  Several people watched this girl zip past them and while nobody said anything, but their body language screamed “is this girl for real??”

There was one brief point where I walked parallel to her to get a look at her face to see if it lived up to the body profile…and it did.  She looked exactly like actress Marla Sokoloff circa 2001, the high school girl receptionist from the legal drama “The Practice” at the time (and who played a teen smoker on “Full House” a few years earlier!), and this girl had her same “brash beauty” profile.  I hung back after that though so she wouldn’t see me…plus I wanted to see that ass continue its rapid march through the grounds.  She ended up walking towards this commercial exhibits building, and I was wondering if she worked at one of the booths and was running late….hence her sprinting.  She ended up stopping right before the entrance to the building and crushed her half-smoked cigarette out on the pavement before sticking it into a pack I couldn’t read.  She then proceeded inside the building and ended up signing some application form–most likely for some prize drawing–at a booth for this retirement home in town, briefly interacting with the middle-aged women running the booth while doing so.  This was what she was in this epic hurry for!??!?!  Whatever the case, I sat at an open bench inside the building waiting to see what would happen when she was finished.  I’d get my answer in only a couple of minutes as she strutted past me within mere inches of me.  It was so tempting to just lift my hand to touch that world-class ass of hers but I somehow resisted…..

Now this girl hadn’t let me down one damn bit since I first laid eyes on her so I had high hopes the cigarette would be relit as soon as she exited the building.  Her streak of not letting me down continued as the first thing she did upon walking through that door was to fetch what remained of that cigarette she had just put out.  I stood outside observing in awe as she let the half-smoked cork filter dangle from her lips from a couple seconds before relighting it.  Sweet Jesus did I want to copulate with this girl.  And in moments she was met by a couple of hot dark blond friends who seemed to appear out of nowhere.  I was hopeful for additional smoking among the friends, but they never lit up.  It was cool though because while these girls were hot, they lacked the brunette’s volcanic IT factor.  The newly formed threesome progressed through the grounds, the brunette still unashamedly brandishing her contraband cigarette through the smokefree grounds almost daring someone to say something so she could put it out on their face….

I was fiddling with my phone at this point trying to snap some photos.  It’s so hard to take frontal pics in motion without getting caught but I got some marginal ones and a couple of nice rear photos.  But I’m grateful that I lifted my eyes from my phone long enough to notice her best exhale of the day….a blast that chugged out of her face like a gush of exhaust from a coal-powered 1870s freight train going up a big hill.  Best of all, one of the two nonsmoking friends was acting as unintentional interference because she would ending up wearing that exhale right in the face.  The trio continued down the midway and I was gonna identify that cigarette butt even if it was my last act on this planet.  She made it easy for me by dropping it to the dirt after her final drag and then standing in line at the ticket counter.  The smoldering butt was a red logo Camel cork filter.  I hovered in the general area and in moments my smoker babe and her two girls met back up with her parents briefly while getting in line for carnival rides.  I’ve been going to this fair since 1982 and never in my life have I had such an exhilirating ride in the moments after entering the grounds….and I don’t expect I ever will again!

I did a quick loop around the main part of the fairgrounds and it was all the reminder I needed that nothing else worth mentioning was going on at the fair at this hour….so I might as well get my ass back to the midway to keep an eye on Marla Sokoloff’s Midwestern baby sister.  Not 10 minutes had passed and I saw her and the friends again hovering near the rides.  Guess who was smoking another cigarette?  I will now defy the second commandment (or whatever the hell it is!) and begin worshiping this “false God” who by herself was rendering the fair’s latest smoke-free night a horrible failure.  I snapped a couple other mediocre pics and got one with cigarette in hand, but I had to be careful at this point because there’s no way she hadn’t spotted me by now.  But I kept a close distance as she moved to the front of the midway, continuing to smoke away on her second cigarette of the last 10 minutes.

The hottest part was when her friends found a food stand they wanted to buy from, selling french fries and cheese curds.  The stand had a few windows open on all sides and while my brunette was waiting for the others to order food, she paced back and forth next to the stand, and at least one of her exhales flowed right into the food stand.  It was just getting ridiculous at this point.  The girl was like a time warp from 1981 dropped right into “smoke-free Wednesday” at my local fair.  She finally surrendered the butt and crushed it out.  I waited for them to leave and I proceeded to identify my second butt from her, but I was confused as this butt was an all-white–a Marlboro Light Special Blend–and her first cigarette was a Camel Red.  Clearly there was some sort of wheeling and dealing going on with her parents where she ended up with one of their cigarettes at one of their two encounters.  Whatever the case, two butts of two different brands in my pocket from this sexpot.  Remember what I said yesterday about nothing good ever happening before dark at the county fair?  Forget all that!

The next few hours brought a concert from has-been country group Sawyer Brown, but when I left the concert and began roaming the fairgrounds again around 10 p.m., heading to the midway and who do you suppose I see?  The brunette Marla Sokoloff clone, seemingly by herself at this point waiting next to a ride, with yet again another freshly lit cigarette in hand.  With cigarettes now $8 a pack, does this girl spend $50 a day on cigarettes?!?!?    Unfortunately the third time was not the charm with her as she proceeded between a couple of rides and when she got to the other side of the midway, she stubbed out the half-smoked cigarette and put it in her purse to save for later.  Even so, three cigarettes in one night was enough to further cement her standing in FCF Hall of Fame.

And she was far from done.  The following night I departed the Dustin Lynch concert before it ended and explored the grounds for sightings.  I approached the quasi-smoking area near the south side entrance of the grandstand and saw a cluster of four (two guys and two girls) where a hot-looking brunette who I saw only from the rear decked out in a plaid country girl top and tight dark jeans had a freshly lit cigarette protruding from her fingers.  As I got in a position to see her face, guess who?  It was Wednesday night’s star smoker….the Marla Sokoloff lookalike, who at this point is running away with the 2013 FCF.  Is this girl EVER NOT SMOKING?!??!  Unfortunately the positioning here was awful so all I could do was stick around for one drag and it was nice like the rest of her substantial body of work.  Nobody else in the group was smoking which made it even hotter.  I wouldn’t see her again tonight but I still have two more nights to see if she can further add to her cigarette total.

And she went out with a bang on Saturday night, as I was perusing the midway at around 10:30 well after dark and after the Chris Cagle concert, and there sat Marla 2.0 with two guys and another girl.  She was wearing a black and white top and tight jeans and I already noticed something was off with her.  I quickly recognized what when all four people in the group stood up to leave, with no cigarettes to be seen, and Marla was staggering around, clearly very drunk.  I walked up to the bench they were sitting on and saw a Marlboro Light Special Blend on the ground just below where she was sitting.  I just missed her…for now.

It wouldn’t last long though as no more than a half hour later on the front edge of the midway, who do I see parading through the grounds but my Marla Sokoloff lookalike with a fresh cigarette in hand, and her nonsmoking dark blond friend.  The two were arm in arm out of necessity because Marla was drunk out of her mind and staggering as she walked.  It was kind of cute (at first anyway) as they ended up getting in line at the cheese curds stand, the same cheese curds stand from Wednesday night which she inadvertently exhaled into.  As I was watching from the same bench I watched from Wednesday night, a middle-aged woman was offering me her cheese curds and I took a handful not wanting them all but eager to taste a couple.  She engaged me in light conversation for about a minute and it didn’t hurt me at all in watching the wasted Marla as she approached the food stand with cigarette in hand, her black and white top disheveled and revealing about six inches of her bare back above the belt line of her jeans for a couple of minutes until she pulled it down.  The marquee moment came when she took a drag and exhaled a huge cloud of smoke right inside the food stand.  I watched intently as it filtered several feet into the stand and forcing those cheese curds workers to choke on it.

From there, Marla and the nonsmoking friend proceeded into the midway and I followed, determined to ID Marla’s cigarette butt and see for sure what her brand was after the ambiguity from Wednesday.  She staggered and scattered about for a couple minutes, taking her usual pace of drags and occasionally eating a cheese curd from a tub she was sharing with the friend.  In about two minutes, she lost the cigarette in a convenient spot and the girls approached a carny to talk about something or perhaps ask directions for something.  I had a clear opening in the nearly empty midway to follow that smoldering cherry on the ground and ID Marla’s cigarette, another Marlboro Light Special Blend.

I had one final encounter with her around 11:50 in the final minutes of the 2013 county fair, and it creeped me out a little.  As I was approaching the exit only seconds after the aforementioned final sighting, there was Marla with her friend, arm in arm and still staggering, with the friend saying “you’re lucky you found me when you did”.  Up until that point I assumed she was drunk….but then I looked in those eyes and saw she was high as a kite.  Those eyes sent a bit of a chill down my spine, wondering what kind of shit Marla is involved in.  Of course, who am I to judge the crazy look in other people’s eyes as the look in my eyes after the adrenaline rush of last night probably was just as crazy.  She might have looked at me and wondered what drug I was on!


#2.  Minnesota State Fair, Day 2, Sighting #40

While the daytime hours during my second day at this year’s Minnesota State Fair produced a pretty good clip of sightings, there weren’t many that really blew my mind….with one incredible exception in the mid-afternoon.  The moment that still seems surreal to me months later.  It’s when I saw Sighting #40 of the day, the kind of sighting I thought existed only in the past….the kind of sighting I never expected to see again….

Wandering on the block on the north side of the beer gardens block and looking up toward one of the more remote smoking areas, I would be stopped dead in my tracks one bench before I got there.  A family of three occupied a bench.  Dad wasn’t smoking, but mother and daughter were.  I was taken aback on first glance and kept approaching, and with each footstep it became clear that this daughter was young….and I mean very young.  She had a sweet face, filled with bubbly youthful energy and long straight blond hair flowing past her shoulders.  Maybe in 1990 it wouldn’t have blown my mind to see a girl of this pedigree with a cigarette, even smoking in front of her parents….but in 2013 it was downright unthinkable.  I snapped an early photo that was pretty mediocre as it was from a little too far away, right before she took her first drag.  The drag itself was not one of an amateur.  There were no stylistic flourishes per se but this was not this little girl’s first cigarette.  She and the parents watched the extreme ride in front of them as mother and daughter smoked and all appeared amused as they observed.  It was amidst this backdrop that a third party entered the scene and changed the trajectory of the sighting…..

A father approached the bench with two young kids to take a seat, asking them if they minded sharing the bench.  The family was all smiles, particularly the bubbly young blond smoker who, for whatever reason, was absolutely beaming.  At first I thought they knew each other because the dynamic didn’t otherwise make sense, as this clearly WAY underage smoker girl would never be so casual and uninhibited while smoking in the presence of complete strangers.  But as this father got his first good look at the family he was now sharing a bench with, it became quickly obvious that they didn’t know each other.  He took a second look, and then a third look, clearly blown away as I was at this at the sight of this young girl publicly smoking with parental acceptance.  The smoking part of this sighting had one more dynamite moment for me.  My girl took her fourth (and sadly final) drag that I witnessed of the mostly smoked cigarette, and then tilted her head upward.  Keep in mind that this bench was very tightly packed now with so many people on it, so her exhale was bound to invade somebody’s airspace…and in this case it was that of her overweight, working-class nonsmoking father.  A gorgeous mushroom cloud of smoke erupted from this girl’s still-developing respiratory system and while there wasn’t a direct blast into dad’s face, his nostrils were no more than an inch away from his early teen daughter’s air pollution.  I had all I could do to keep my knees from buckling at that moment.  Unfortunately, the smoking part of the sighting was gonna come to a close at least a drag sooner than it should have…..

I couldn’t hear exactly what the young father with the two kids who sat next to this family said to them, but he was pointing to the bathroom area near the beer gardens and I suspect he said “you know, the smoking area is over there”.  Just that quickly, the smiles and good times of mother and daughter smokers vanished….and the daughter crushed her cigarette out onto the bench and dropped the butt to the ground.  Not a word was said otherwise, and apparently the father who made the comment didn’t know they were one bench away from another smoking area.  But even though the smoking portion of the sighting was done as the daughter was concerned, there were still all kinds of additional revelations yet to come.  The daughter stood up from the crowded bench and continued to look at the extreme ride spinning around in front of her.  For the umptieth time in this sighting, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.  Up to that point, I was being very conservative in guessing that this girl was 15, but seeing her presexualized body in a vertical position, it became clear she was at most 14 and probably even younger than that.  She had no hips at all and just a couple nubs for boobs in her green tanktop.  Her ass had the beginnings of a curvature in a skimpy pair of brown and white jean shorts. I snapped a full frontal photo and studied it again today, and am convinced that this little cutie is only about to start seventh grade!

The father with the kids got up and left, perhaps annoyed that the mother was still smoking.  The final part of the sighting smoking-wise included the mom stubbing out her cigarette and handing it to the daughter to throw into the trash, which she did, adorably leaving her own cigarette sitting on the ground even as she was tossing mom’s.  I was gonna ID this butt if it was the last thing I ever did so I had to wait out the family continuing to sit there.  While waiting, I looked to the right to the aforementioned smoking area only one bench over from this family, and standing there was ANOTHER mother and daughter smoker duo, where the daughter was a beautiful early 20s light brunette in a very feminine light blue dress.  I caught her in mid-drag at one point looking my direction.  At any other time of the day this girl would have been a huge fetish target, but right now this incredible family had me completely captivated.

I made the connection right away as this sighting was unfolding, but sitting here watching them observe the extreme ride, it struck me just how similar this was to MNSF #2, the most popular sighting on my blog and my second-best sighting of all-time.  Now this girl was an absolute doll, but she lacked that “hottest girl in the middle school” IT factor that my 13ish blond from 2000 smoking with grandpa did.  Still, the fundamentals were the same….an unashamed public display of cigarette smoking from a bubbly, long-haired blond early teen who was giddy watching the extreme rides from a half block away in the company of her accepting elders.  I never thought I’d see any sighting of its kind again after 2000, but I should have learned to never underestimate the Minnesota State Fair.  After another couple of minutes, the family got up to leave, never to be seen again yesterday.  Breathless with excitement, I sat down and checked out the girl’s discarded cigarette butt.  A sighting that was a flashback to 2000 up to that point suddenly became a flashback to 1978.  The cigarette she was smoking was a Merit!  I have NEVER seen a Merit smoked by a girl I’ve fetished and can’t recall anybody smoking the brand since some point in the 80s.  Who was this family?!?!?  Whoever they were, they single-handedly made my second visit to the 2013 Minnesota State Fair unforgettable.


#1.  Local County Fair, Saturday Night

I’d been talking a lot of smack about the smoking area outside the grandstand at the 2013 FCF this year and for good reason as there hadn’t been a single top-tier sighting in the area for the entire fair as of that Saturday evening.  But after the epic event that took place in the final quarter of the Chris Cagle concert, all was forgiven.  It was about 9:40 p.m. when this cluster of 18-19-year-olds were hovering in the area around the gate just a couple of footsteps outside of it.  I took casual observance and a mental note of a late teen brunette that made my heart melt at the sight of her face, but only a casual look because there was no way she was the kind of girl who would smoke.  I continued to glance that direction absent-mindedly, since a fetisher never completely gives up hope on a potential prospect, but this one wasn’t even registering on my radar as a possibility.  The group was preparing some photo taking right at the threshold of the gate, and I looked again.  And I could have sworn I saw a freshly lit all-white in the hands of that brunette.  I rubbed my eyes, thinking that all these consecutive nights of stalking smoker girls was making me hallucinate, and I looked again…..because clearly life was pulling a trick on me here.  But hot damn…..she really did have a cigarette in her hand.  I looked again her face, thinking she must not have been the combination of homecoming queen, dairy princess, and Seventeen magazine cover girl that I first imagined….but if anything she was even more adorable on the second look.  Only a couple of times a year do I see a face this innocent and soft with a cigarette sticking out of it.  Last month, I saw a sighting of a brunette at a mall who I described as the most wholesome looking girl I’ve seen smoking all year…..well this girl made her look like a leather-draped middle-aged biker mama!

Much as I’d like to offer a celebrity comparison, there’s no teen brunette actresses on recent Disney Channel shows who I can think of as wholesome-looking as this girl, a petite and slender brunette princess with a long mane of dark and straight brown hair flowing down her back, a black tanktop and really short pale blue jean shorts that spectacularly framed her teenage ass.  Smooth legs flowed from beneath the short shorts and a pair of cowgirl boots below the knees completed the ensemble.  I was a man in love already, and this epic sighting had only just begun.  And she was about to trip more triggers than a machine gunner in the cockpit of a World War II fighter jet.

As I said, the group was posing for photos with their camera phones and I was just starting to process the players in the group.  First off, three girls posed together with their arms over each other’s shoulders.  At the left was my gorgeous brunette smoker, at the right was an unattractive and overweight brunette who was smoking an electronic cigarette (!), and in the middle was this very attractive blond who I hoped would smoke but didn’t.  She was a beauty, but light years from being in the same league as my brunette.  In between photo shots, the still long cigarette (which had to have been a 100) was placed in her lips for a drag.  Honestly I think there’s a real chance she posed for the shot with the cigarette in her mouth.  But the next photo was even hotter….because she was now posing with a wholesome young guy who was clearly her boyfriend….and a nonsmoking boyfriend at that.  They posed for a couple of photos, and in one of them she snuggled up to him and held her clearly visible cigarette behind his back.  This girl smokes and doesn’t care who sees it when it’s posted on Facebook on Sunday morning!  There was a port-a-potty partially obstructing some of this madness but I could see 80% of it, and the cluster of five (two guys and three girls) squeezed together and my brunette took a drag from her cigarette and exhaled right into the cluster while looking at the photos they took.  And if you can imagine, it got even hotter than that when they wrapped up the photos….

My brunette sweetheart, a little over half done with her long cigarette, then started getting lovey-dovey with the nonsmoking boyfriend.  They pressed themselves together and proceeded to kiss, exchanging tongues into her fresh ashtray mouth.  And after they pulled their lips apart, they were still snuggling together almost cheek to cheek when it happened.  She took a nice drag from her cigarette and exhaled.  I swear her snootful of carcinogenic smoke was two inches from his face before a direct hit…the closest direct hit I’ve ever seen by a smoker girl in my life.  And it seemed unintentional!  There has to be an understood smoking fetish in this relationship….because no other nonsmoking guy could be this accepting while no smoking girl dating a nonsmoking guy could be this obnoxious if there wasn’t!  After the PDA ended, she was on the home stretch of her cigarette and I was able to watch her drags.  Her style itself wasn’t distinctive per se, but she took some sweet long drags where much of the smoke must have stayed inside her lungs because the exhales themselves seemed modest compared to the amount of smoke she took in.  I was waiting for her to lose the cigarette, even though I feared she would drop it to the sidewalk and stub it out, then stick around leaving me unable to identify it.  But the unexpected happened even here.  After a final drag, she proceeded to fling the cigarette about five yards to her left into the grass, the sexiest way for a girl to lose her cigarette for me due to the unthinkable obnoxiousness of it and making it very helpful for me to locate it.  Needless to say, I exited the Chris Cagle concert at that exact moment.

I ran to the grass and had a perfect opening to locate the smoldering all-white on the grass, stepping out the cherry with my foot and then kneeling down to ID it.  And then I saw something I didn’t anticipate.  It was a Pall Mall Light!  I had about two seconds for this to be a buzzkill before I started processing the hotness of it.  Any girl that young who will smoke a subpar brand like Pall Mall Lights is a hopeless addict  in the “able to smoke anything” category and forced to save 50 cents a pack so that they can smoke more cigarettes.  I didn’t sense at first that this girl was a heavy smoker until I saw that Pall Mall label on the butt.  I may have been inclined to leave at that point, but the Pall Mall label made me stick around in the way a “Marlboro” or “Camel” may not have if that makes any sense.  And I’m glad I did because the group continued standing but moved just inside the gate.  The singer was annoying me by preaching politics on the stage which I find entirely inappropriate at a fair concert, but suffice it to say my annoyance level was subdued as the beautiful young adult couple returned to their kissyface session, presumably so the guy could lock in all of her fresh tobacco breath before it went away.  This kissyface session lasted about five minutes as the concert was starting to go slightly long.  Meanwhile, the dead smoking area produced an attractive early 20s blond behind me that would have been a big deal a half hour earlier but now was mostly elevator music as I was obsessed with this brunette babe.

As I said the concert was starting to go long and while this group wasn’t leaving, I noticed a fresh pack of Pall Mall Lights coming out of the brunette’s bag, and she proceeded to pack it for the next 30 seconds or so.  She wasn’t leaving the concert but it was pretty clear that her top priority was escaping to get her next nicotine fix.  The singer was on his final song and after it was over, the group departed, along with everyone else, creating a huge crowd that made my job of stalking her extra difficult.  The group of five pressed forward through the main block of food vendors appearing to be looking for something to eat.  Everything was going my way as they stopped at a vendor stand where a lineup of wide-open benches provided me a perfect vantage point, and my smoker who was three inches shorter than anyone else in the group, was facing me.  I didn’t know if or when she’d smoke again and started to lose hope when she placed an order for food at one of the stands.  Now most people like a smoke after they eat but this girl couldn’t wait that long.  Out came the fresh pack of Pall Mall Lights 100s which she opened up and placed a fresh long cigarette in her lips.  I watched in awe as she did an unlit dangle that lasted for 30 seconds while searching for her lighter.  It continued to blow my mind as I observed the unthinkable contrast between her precious face and the long cigarette dangling from her lips.  This is the kind of sighting I wait all year for!

And then she lit up.  The fetish gods were on my side last night as despite the grounds being packed as the concert let out, there were three wide open benches where I was able from one to another when necessary to get a closer look, and do it entirely undetected.  While there were no direct hits from her exhales, there was simply no avoiding her smoke in this huddle of 80% nonsmokers.  Again, I got to see every drag and snapped a photo.  It’s dark and blurry but you can see her silhouette in the middle of the pic.  And things managed to get even better here as the guy making her sandwich handed her the food.  With cigarette in hand, she took hold of it and proceeded to smoke while eating.  A bite of food followed by a drag from her cigarette, both of which she managed to find room for with her two hands.  This cigarette went more slowly for obvious reasons and that was just fine by me given my wide open location.  After a few bites of the sandwich, she handed it to the boyfriend who then shared it with the other guy, albeit with the brunette still picking away at it from time to time.  And needless to say, whether they wanted to or not, these dudes were eating their fair food in the “smoking section” with this girl exhaling stinky clouds only a couple feet away from them.  It’s a safe bet the people inside the food stand were getting a whiff of it too as close as she was to the open window.

After eating, it was time to go and this sighting just never stopped finding new ways to blow my mind.  Just as they were preparing to leave, my girl produced a sweet little smoker’s cough.  It was nothing fierce and hacking….just an incessant tickle from her black lungs similar to the chronic coughs I experienced from a couple of my heavier-smoking young girlfriends in recent years. This tightly compacted block of vendors was elbow to elbow with people, and the group progressed northward and my little brunette held her cigarette in her right hand with the cherry pointed outward as she walked.  As I followed I was holding my breath waiting for a shriek of pain from whatever unfortunate soul got burned by the cigarette she was brandishing so carelessly.  I never heard it but it was sheer luck on her part that she didn’t give somebody second-degree burns.

They progressed northward to a less populated area and I was relieved expecting I’d have a wide-open path to ID my second Pall Mall Lights butt from her.  But she continued to smoke slowly, arm in arm with the nonsmoking boyfriend and occasionally moving in for more stinky kisses.  They turned the corner to the sparse north side and it started to become clear they were heading towards the parking lot to leave.  But before they did, they hid in the dark to the side of this building hoping to sneak up on the other friends who they briefly separated from.  I was temporarily terrified, fearing she’d lose the cigarette while out of sight but as they advanced towards the parking lot as a group again, a plume of smoke released from her face reassured me the cigarette was still going.  I followed at a distance, hoping it was coming and that the last butt fling wasn’t merely an aberration….and then it came.  After one final drag, she carelessly flung the smoldering cigarette five yards to her right into the dirt.  Here was this girl who looked too wholesome to ever get so much as a parking ticket….and she was displaying all the characteristics of the stereotypical “rude smoker” so despised by antis right down to her reckless polluting butt disposal.

It was surprisingly hard to locate the butt in this empty and well-lit spot, but I had time and opportunity and wasn’t gonna let it go to waste.  Finally after about a minute of looking, I found the smoldering remains of an all-white Pall Mall Light.  But I was still feeling overcome with jealousy at this point of this beauty’s boyfriend, because I knew the first thing the girl would do when she got into the car was to light another cigarette.  And the first thing the boyfriend would do when he got her home would be to take those short jean shorts of her off and fuck her to within an inch of her life.   Nothing else could possibly occur at the 2013 FCF that could compare with what I spent the last half hour or more watching, but it was nonetheless time to press on with the remaining hour and a half of the evening just to make sure.  I don’t think my feet touched the ground for the rest of the night.


So there’s the best of 2013.  It was a pretty close three-way race for #1 this year and I will definitely have plenty of new material to intersperse amongst my all-time favorites when I do my annual blog configuration in the spring.  In the meantime, my top mall sightings and top random/Summerfest sightings lists of the year will be coming in a little over a month.

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