For a period of about an hour and a half before and just after dusk last night, I could do no wrong. Immediately after that, everything came to a grinding halt. It was still a good night and I got a couple extremely worthwhile repeaters in the final hour, but suffice it to say the first half of the evening went better than the second half as at the very time sightings normally soar into the stratosphere, they died a rapid, agonizing death last night, proving no two days at the State Fair are alike. I ended up with 80 sightings, which is nothing at all to sneeze at for a Wednesday night at the fair, but as of about 8:30 it seemed possible that I would exceed last year’s 97 sightings on my Wednesday evening visit without breaking a sweat.
Overall, at least until 8:30 the evening was extremely satisfying as there’s nothing that makes a fetisher feel like he’s walking on the clouds more than a steady stream of sightings playing out one after another. No epics here but one with a very cool storyline, one with a very beautiful girl, and one almost-sighting that ended the evening and still has me agonizing about what could have been at about three different levels. On with the sightings….
I rode the bus to the grounds and waited outside the gate for a few minutes until 5:00 where I could get in for $5 instead of $10. I raced on in and despite a lingering blister on my foot from Saturday that I knew would be aggravated from seven additional hours of walking, I pressed forward once again absolutely thrilled at the potential for the sightings that lied ahead. Within 15 minutes I had already scored a handful of sightings, and all of them were above-average, giving me high hopes for the night. The first really cool one was Sighting #2, where a cute, skinny 19ish blond in a white tanktop and jeans was wandering near the edge of the midway with a cigarette in her hand and then stopped at the outside gate of the Deep Fried Candy Bars stand. At first I thought she was talking to herself as she smoked but then I noticed she had some sort of wire extending from her and I figured she was talking to somebody on some oddball unit of modern technology. Pretty decent cloudy exhales emanating from her face as I expected she was just standing out of the way relaxing with a cigarette until she finished the cigarette, crushed it out, and then opened the gate at the back of the Deep Fried Candy Bars stand where two other workers welcomed her inside. I’m assuming either shift was just starting or she was on a break as she carried her stinky self into that stand to resume working with fresh cigarette odor on her. Nice surprise storyline to start the day.
I immediately noticed the selection of young females on the grounds yesterday was positively stellar and the number of impossibly sexy white shorts-draped asses and cleavage-showing tanktops vastly exceeded Saturday. The hot weather (it was 90) explained some of this, but I later discovered that I strongly underestimated the appeal of pretty boy 20-year-old country singer Hunter Hayes performing at the free stage who didn’t draw as big of a crowd as the Band Perry last year, but still amassed a huge crowd on the east side of the grounds where the free stage is, and an extremely high percentage of this crowd consisted of the preferred demographic wearing as little clothing as possible. Anyway, keep this concert in mind as at least one sighting is prominently featured in the storyline.
I went to the south side of the grounds right after the Grand Concourse and, on the same obscure block with the livestock barns where I saw my midteen angel on Saturday and only about two benches down, I saw Sighting #5, a most angelic early 20s brunette who didn’t look at all like a smoker, yet who was sitting with her boyfriend enjoying a beer and a cigarette. Hard to explain this girl’s appeal…she just had a beautiful face with a ton of character to it that oozed a mega-wholesome country girl sex appeal. Her facial expressions were contagious and impossible to look away from as she interacted with her boyfriend sitting next to her and attended to her beer and cigarette. She was wearing a low-cut white country girl top with jean shorts and brown leather cowgirl boots that went about halfway to her knee. There was no way to get a picture badly as I wanted one so I settled for watching her smoke her cigarette. Her style was not distinctive but as adorable as her face was just going about her banter with the boyfriend, it was only that much more adorable seeing cigarette smoke flow from it. I got to watch her smoke most of it and after about five minutes she dropped it to the dirt and crushed it out. I wanted to identify her brand from that butt but the couple lingered, finishing their beer. I would just have to wait until the next loop and hope the bench was open. Luck was on my side as I returned about 10 minutes later to an empty bench and easily spotted her cork filter butt. It was a Camel with a red stripe….I’ve seen them before but am not certain which specific brand they are.
Those first five sightings came 20 minutes after arrival. The pace slowed for awhile after that, but unlike Saturday where I had a number of barely-qualifiers, it seemed like just about all of those early sightings were impressive, either featuring very pretty girls or fun storylines. Sighting #8 featured the latter as I was walking through the benches outside the grandstand and spotted a young couple where the girl was smoking. As I approached, I kind of shrugged because the early 20s light brunette girl smoking was only a modest beauty but just through the course of walking by I took note that as she was smoking, the nonsmoking boyfriend was sitting next to her on the bench and good-naturedly waving a paper fan in front of her face as if trying to disperse the intolerable ciggy stench she was forcing him to endure. She was looking at him with a smirk that read “go to hell, you dickhead” in an equally good-natured way. I walked by and held back for a month, enjoying their silent interaction but pressing forward since the girl wasn’t hot enough to be worthy of watching her for an entire sighting. Interestingly though, with the opposite being annoyingly common on Saturday, it seemed I found far more couples where the girl was the only smoker last night.
I made a fruitless midway run next (the midway was really a letdown for the entire Iowa State Fair) but as I was leaving the midway I faced the usual choice of exiting through the main gate or in between two fairgrounds bars, an area that produces more than its share of quality sightings. I opted for between the bars and what an outstanding decision that was as I came upon Sighting #10, the most beautiful girl of the night, wielding a freshly lit all-white. It was a very attractive group of five young ladies, all in their early 20s, but one stood out in the crowd and she happened to be the only smoker. She was a long-haired platinum blond wearing a pink top, a killer pair of white shorts and some badass sunglasses that really helped raise her stakes as the hottest girl in the room. And that face….damn. She looked a lot like a hot mid-20s girl named Amanda who I dated in 2007 except she was blond with a perfect body and even prettier. One other feature that bedazzled was her legs extending from those white shorts, and up near the top of her right leg just below the end of her white shorts was a colorful little bandage like you’d expect to see a young child wearing that must have covered a little shaving accident she had and served as an adorable little imperfection on her otherwise flawless form. She caught my eye and wouldn’t let it go as I followed her, watching her take frequent and impressive drags, releasing generous smoke missiles with every exhale and not being particularly interested where they went. All five of the girls were swilling beers but she was the only one with a cigarette. Often times you prefer seeing an entire group of beauties like these smoking, but in the case having her be the only smoker was preferable because she was the biggest looker of the group and it was sexy that the other girls simply have to endure their stinkier but hotter friend. They stopped at a somewhat convenient area near a line for food where I leaned up against a lamppost and watched her smoke. I was too exposed to go for a photo but was content to just admire this show as she continued to smoke her cigarette with the most natural style that made it clear she was a long-time smoker for whom the cigarette was a natural extension of her person. She crushed out the cigarette on the cluster of wood chips the group was standing on and while they didn’t move, I marked the location of that all-white and was definitely not gonna let it lie there without being identified. A few minutes later I came back and they were gone. I spotted the butt, which was a Marlboro Light. And let’s just say to be continued on this one.
And frankly, to be continued in the very near future as shortly after I spotted the butt, I headed to the west end of the grounds and saw this same cluster of friends, again with this sexpot blond standing out amongst them, heading into mostly open-air bar The Depot which I’ve cited before as a source for a few of my more memorable Iowa State Fair sightings. I made a mental note of the entrance as I began a loop around the bar. Standing in front of the bar would be Sighting #12, a mother-daughter sighting featuring an unattractive late 40s mother and her decently attractive mid-20s blond daughter, both just in the process of lighting up. Top-shelf mother-daughter sightings are rare and this one didn’t have the punch to rank among the best of that genre, but the daughter in her utilitarian T-shirt and jeans was producing some very generous blasts of smoke with her exhales as I watched them smoke about half of their cigarettes. Again, you could tell mom taught her how to smoke well and taught her smoke young with those fierce exhales.
I walked around The Depot towards the back planning my usual loop of the structure and came upon a trio of four workers, three male and one female. They were all wearing the purple T-shirts advertising The Depot so it was clear they were employees. Guess which one of the four employees was a smoker? And not only was my Sighting #13 a cute Depot employee, she was almost certainly underage. She was a dark blond with a cute ponytail and a wholesome, girl-next-door face wearing a pair of pale blue jean shorts to go with her Depot T-shirt and who looked so gosh-darned adorable with a fresh cigarette extending from her fingers, amidst the three male coworkers of various ages. Now the girl was extremely cute but I need to confirm that she wasn’t in the league of that teen brunette with her dad from 2010 (“Dad, where’s Amy and Jessica?!?!”….ISF #16). The way she carried herself was so girlish but it was kind of frustrating how restless she was darting from a much older guy sitting there relaxing to this young guy who I later would come to realize was probably her boyfriend, albeit a nonsmoking one. This made it hard to see her smoke and even harder to get a photo in from the bench I sat on in close proximity. I managed one but it’s blurry and lousy. After failing to secure a quality photo I just relaxed and enjoyed the show, her precocious 17-year-old smoking style on display so unapologetically in front of these older guys. But when I thought I had this group’s dynamics figured out, she wandered over to the young guy (who still looked a few years older than her) who was sitting by himself on the seat of one The Depot’s golf cart-like vehicles and snuggled on up to him, kissing him on the cheek with her tobacco breath. Very exciting to witness this girl meandering around these adult males and asserting herself with no inhibitions all with that cigarette proudly perched in her hand. There was no way I was gonna identify the butt the way the scene was situated, so I parted, once again with perfect timing….
Walking past the row of benches technically inside The Depot as even though they are open air, they are technically considered the inside of the bar, there was my group of glam girls from before including that impossibly sexy blond…who was illegally smoking another cigarette only 15 minutes removed from her last one. While this was such a delicious location for her to have a cigarette from a storyline standpoint, the downside is that there was no place to get a good pic that wasn’t 15 yards away. I made an effort but it’s a blurry one. Despite being too far away for a photo, it was a great vantage point as I watched her once again aggressively tackle that cigarette sitting there in that quasi-indoor bench releasing tight, impressive, and voluminous exhales with little regard for the density of her smoke impacting others, especially those long-suffering friends seated near her choking on her unending fumes. She was an avatar of obnoxiousness. I was seriously believing there was another girl smoking seated next to her…that there had to be considering how dense the streams of smoke constantly flowing were…but after taking a number of additional looks at that girl next to her, I can confirm with certainty the blondie was the only one responsible for producing all that air pollution. There was no sexier girl than her who I saw with a cigarette at the 2012 Iowa State Fair, and suffice it to say that loop around The Depot was extremely productive!
Now this girl’s performance thus far had the potential to be among the all-time best, but unfortunately I saw her multiple times on the grounds again but never smoking. I saw her one more time even deeper inside The Depot and managed my best photo of her body while doing so. I saw her later on the outskirts of the Hunter Hayes concert and then again outside another beer gardens. It was undoubtedly just bad timing not seeing her smoking again, but if I had seen this girl smoking constantly the way my Camel Lights strawberry blond did on Saturday, she would easily be among my top-10 ISF girls of all-time.
Clearly I was riding high after that second sighting of blondie, and the good times continued to roll with Sighting #15, where this trashy, redneck family of smokers sat against the edge of the grandstand for a cigarette break. Doesn’t sound promising, you say? Well one member of this family made up for the rest of them. She was a semi-cute 16-17ish light brunette daughter in a tanktop and jean shorts who lit up a cigarette with two other members of the family that, adorably, included dad and grandma. It was the gray-haired 60-something granny that sat next to the teen daughter and lit up their cigarettes one by one. Mom apparently didn’t smoke and stood up next to the seated smokers. Everybody was very unattractive except the daughter. While she wasn’t the cream of the crop either, she was a solid 7 or 7.5 and easily stood out as the looker of this group. I watched this for a brief while, walked away for a short period, and then returned to find there was a nonsmoking teen boy sitting next to the teen-smoking girl. Not sure if he was a boyfriend or a brother or what, but he looked as gawky as the rest of the group. I was too exposed watching this play out and had to part ways, but I would see this family twice more….once on the outskirts of the Hunter Hayes concert and nobody was smoking then. But on the edge of the midway later in the evening, I’d see the same members of this family of smokers seated on a bench smoking again, with the other nonsmokers standing by as the smokers stunk up the area, including the teenage girl. And while the girl wasn’t astoundingly beautiful, I still found it impressive she appeared to come from the same gene pool as the others.
While Sighting #16 was nothing special, a modest late 20s blond smoking while talking on the phone, she was significant because she was the 4,000th lifetime fair sighting I’ve scored when combining all three of my fairs. I’m moving into Ty Cobb and Pete Rose territory at this point!
I cooled off a little bit after that last flourish but was back in the money when I spotted a pair of early 20s couples in the center of the fairgrounds where both girls were smoking. The Sightings #25 and #26 girls consisted of an impressive dark brunette in a black top and jeans and an even hotter dark blond in a somewhat lighter top with paler blue jeans who had a sexier figure. The beauty part is that both girls were smoking in the company of nonsmoking boyfriends. Not really much of a storyline with this sighting, but it was nice to have a front-row seat and watch them both smoke…and snap yet another blurry, mediocre photo on my lame camera phone. Both were seasoned pros at this whole smoking thing, but the majority of my attention was focused on that dark blond. The couples began moving towards the east side of the grounds, most likely en route to the Hunter Hayes concert, and I followed long enough to witness a couple more quality drags as I walked, all done in the accepting presence of her nonsmoking boyfriend, before she tossed the butt to the ground without bothering to crush it out, giving me an easy opening to lean down and identify it. It was a Camel Crush.
Another duo of smokers came shortly after in the form of Sightings #28 and #29. They were two early 20s party girl blonds that elected to make themselves not my type due to irritating facial piercings on one and ugly leg tattoos on the other. Had they not marked up their respective bodies, they’d have been knockouts, especially the girl with the tattoos. The context made the sighting yummy, however, as they were both standing outside one of the beer gardens areas drinking and smoking in the presence of nonsmoking gray-haired older guy who I figured was the father to either one or both of them. The stink in the immediate area was significant, all because of these blond girls, and this guy was taking it all in without complaint while talking to them. I overheard the guy ask the tattooed girl “so what do you do now?” which told me he wasn’t probably wasn’t her father but likely was the other girl’s…unless he was just an old acquaintance from a different capacity which is possible but still hot that he was immersing himself in this amount of stink to talk to them. The tattooed girl obnoxiously flung her cigarette to her right a good 10 feet which made it easy for me to walk over and identify the smoldering butt. It was a Marlboro Light Special Blend.
I was on one helluva roll now as I progressed back down to the south side and just a couple of minutes after the last one took note of Sighting #30, a male and female late-teen duo of fair workers wielding half-smoked cigarettes, wearing matching green shirts signifying they were both employees of one of the food vendors and were on a smoke break together. I didn’t sense they were a couple just co-workers, but they cooperated beautifully by taking a seat in this cluster of benches and I had an open seat parallel to them to watch. The girl was a wholesome, girl-next-door cutie, a ponytailed brunette wearing jean shorts along with her green work T-shirt. She was quite talkative and was engaging the male co-worker in substantial conversation while they both smoked. I was in a perfect spot to take what would finally be a good photo that would probably be at least partially clear, but it was almost 8 at this point and while the sun hadn’t set yet, my camera phone starts to get blurry even before dusk so the picture didn’t turn out at all. With picture-taking done for the evening, I just sat back and enjoyed the smoke show as she attended to the cigarette pretty frequently given how much she was talking, always producing nice cloudy combination nose and mouth exhales. Very cute girl and I am envious of this guy who likely gets to take smoke breaks with her for the entirety of the Iowa State Fair. She smoked the cigarette very close to the filter and dropped it to the pavement where she crushed it out with her foot. The two quickly got up and started walking back to work so I had no problem identifying the butt. She twisted the cork filter pretty significantly when crushing it out and since she smoked it down close to the filter anyway, the butt wasn’t identifiable, but judging from the marking I’m guessing it’s a Marlboro 27.
I was getting pretty hungry now and while greasy fair food didn’t sound appealing on a hot, thirsty night, I had been looking for this chocolate-covered cheesecake that sounded up my alley and was in the area where I read that it was being sold and purchased one. Quite impressive…better than the version of chocolate-covered cheesecake I tried last year at the Minnesota State Fair. This cheesecake purchase led to good things, starting with Sighting #33, a glamorous and beautiful long-haired dark brunette in sunglasses with a great tan and a rock star body decked out in a tanktop and jean shorts. When I first laid eyes on her with a freshly lit cigarette between her fingers, I figured she was about 18. But as I got closer look I saw she was in the presence of a middle-aged woman who I figured was her nonsmoking mother and a little girl about seven who sure seemed like she was probably her daughter. I looked again at mom and upon closer inspection she probably was in her mid-20s, but had the body of an 18-year-old rather than the mother of a seven-year-old! What a truly wonderful example she was the daughter to be such a glamorous young mommy smoking so publicly. They started drifting one direction into an area that would have been difficult to watch the sighting transpire, and while this was happening a new set of girls caught my eye heading the other direction. It was a tough decision, but I decided in favor of the younger girls and undoubtedly ended up making the right decision.
That brings us to Sightings #34 and #35, a sighting that began impressively enough but I wouldn’t have guessed it would have morphed into the best sighting of the night as it did. The storyline began with two approaching 17ish girls wielding cigarettes and progressing down the block with a strikingly confident air about them. They were solid cuties, one an 8 and the other an 8.5, but they weren’t dripping with IT factor. One was a blond wearing a pink top and lighter-colored jean shorts, but the cuter of the two was a light brunette in a turquoise tanktop and dark jean shorts. After witnessing their extended approach as they walked eastward, I began following them and managed to follow very closely. Their smoking styles were impressive enough, but what impressed most was, for whatever reason, the stink. Not sure what this duo’s secret was, and it was probably just the right location on my part, but their exhales all drifted right into my face and standing at a diagonal rear position from them, the aura of cigarette stench never abated for even a second as my olfactory senses were under a sustained and merciless assault. And at some point during this observation it struck me that this light brunette bore a striking resemblance to a 2001-era Dana, my most serious girlfriend. No sooner did I make that observation than a 2001 Dana storyline began to play out right before my eyes.
From out of nowhere, two perfectly respectable-looking nonsmoking teenage dudes showed up and immersed themselves directly in the girls’ company greeting them with the opening line of “you guys heading to that concert?”. I could only hear bits and pieces of the conversation and the girls were clearly loving the attention. After about 30 seconds of light conversation, the guys finally introduced themselves. My eyes were focused on the light brunette, and studying her face I could easily detect romantic interest which the psychology books tell you is evident by a certain squintiness in a girl’s eyes. The guy outstretched his hand as he said his name, which was inaudible in the crowd and the girl, who had just taken a drag from her cigarette, outstretched her hand to respond in kind, and through a talking exhale said her name, which I sadly didn’t catch. The look on her face took me back to August 1, 2001, and Dana when I introduced myself to her at the fair as at that exact moment she was the spitting image of Dana. The lingering cigarette stench in the area produced by these girls continued to be absolutely dominating, but it was pretty obvious that it was catnip to these young male, nonsmoking suitors as it was to me…..and the girls made no effort at all to downplay the fact that they were addicted cigarette smokers enjoying a cigarette despite what might have been an instinct to downplay their smoking when being courted by nonsmoking guys. I was intensely focused on the light brunette to the point of ignoring the blond who was being courted by the other guy, save for when one of her stinky exhales hit me in the face and demanded to be noticed. The brunette took a final drag from her cork filter cigarette before obnoxiously flinging it right past the guy to her left…the smoldering cigarette soaring through the air amidst this large crowd and landing in the middle of the street about 10 feet away, not hitting anybody entirely as a function of luck. I was easily able to walk over and identify the butt and even though it was smoked close to the filter, I could see by the light coloring of a capital letter M that it was a Marlboro Red.
The two couples continued to walk eastward and converse and I was absolutely thrilled for these guys that they might get lucky from these incredibly sexy underage girls later in the night. I left the scene after they finished their cigarettes and drifted to the heavily populated area around the seating for the Hunter Hayes concert, which was about to begin. The teenage pussy there was exceptional all-around, but over the course of the four times I walked through the area before and during the concert, I only saw a handful of modest sightings in the outlying area. Clearly this crowd wasn’t as smoke-prone as the crowd that attended last year’s Band Perry concert. But on my second trip around this concert after it had started, who did I come across but Dana’s doppelganger and her blond friend walking the other direction apparently leaving the concert, only this time alone as apparently they had already parted ways with the guys. That made me a little sad, but I was grateful to see them again even though they weren’t smoking, knowing what they were capable of. And for a while it seemed like these girls were following me as for the next 10 minutes or so they were always close by as I spotted them again shortly after buying Pepsi from a machine. I lingered for a few minutes hoping they might smoke again. They didn’t, but were randomly approached by another guy who they chatted with briefly. There were prettier girls at the fair last night but for whatever reason, guys found this duo irresistible.
It was now entirely dark and for a brief period longer I could do no wrong, going back to the south side and seeing a 20-something couple seated on a cement burm surrounding a small shrubbery sanctuary that serves as a seating area for weary fairgoers, particularly those feeding a nicotine craving. Such was the case with Sighting #39, a really cute mid-to-late 20s curly-haired blond who looked way to wholesome to be a smoker and uncannily resembled a slightly older version of this Alicia girl I once chatted with from online. She and the boyfriend were puffing away. I unfortunately had to sit to their side and she was to the outside of the boyfriend from where I was sitting, making it difficult to study her style. I saw one or two drags and both were solid, but between the darkness and the awkward positioning I didn’t get to see as much as I liked. After a couple of minutes, I saw blondie’s cigarette hand moving to her left and it appeared she was crushing out the cigarette. The couple got up and left soon after so I wandered over and inspected the scene. I couldn’t see a cigarette in the immediate area on the ground so was puzzled…until I noticed that she squeezed it in between two brick blocks that formed the burm, having stuffed the still-smoldering cigarette down inside them where a stream of smoke was still rising, thus leaving a very unpleasant surprise for the next luckless fairgoer who chose to sit there. As cute and wholesome as this girl looked, she sure chose one wildly obnoxious way to dispose of her cigarette.
The last sighting in this stretch of greatness was Sighting #43, also on the south side. I found myself walking to the rear and just parallel to two young couples in their early 20s. The one girl in the group of four stood out, a perfectly wholesome-looking brunette with shoulder-length hair wearing a blue tanktop and white cutoffs that were frayed at the bottom. It was one insanely sexy image and she had a perfect body. She was beautiful too….not in the “most gorgeous girl at the fair” sense, but in the “girl-next-door who you’re always looking out the window as she walks by as a teenage boy” sense. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if I could see a girl like that smoking a cigarette tonight, I thought to myself as I studied her awesome feminine profile from the diagonal rear. No sooner did that thought cross my mind when I saw her up-to-that-point obstructed right hand approach her mouth with a half-smoked cigarette and take a drag. It was one of those moments that make your knees buckle, seeing her make that cherry of her cigarette glow bright red in the night sky as she wrapped her mouth around that filter and breathed in the cancerous chemicals. I quickened my pace so I could get a frontal view of her and the rest of her group. She was a solid 9 beauty-wise, with that incredible presentation with the blue tanktop and frayed white cutoffs making her positively irresistible as she walked hand in hand with yet another nonsmoking boyfriend perfectly content with enduring the incessant stench of a smoking girlfriend as any sane male would do for a girl of her caliber. Indeed the other nondescript couple was also nonsmokers, so my girl was the only one of the four stinking up the fairgrounds. I got to see three more drags, all nice but none particularly distinctive in a style sense before she dropped the cigarette to the ground and made a halfhearted effort to stomp it out, but not even succeeding in squishing the cherry. I had no problem identifying it as a cork filter Camel Blue. I followed them briefly towards an obscure stage where live music of some sort was playing. The sighting had played out, however, so I ventured on, obviously walking on cloud nine and texting a friend bragging about what a great night I was having.
The life lesson learned at that moment….never brag about what a great night you’re having when you still have three more hours of the night yet to come. For the next half hour, I continued to score sightings at a modest clip. They were respectable sightings but nothing of the caliber I had been seeing. Still, I figured when the Hunter Hayes concert ended I figured I’d have a tidal wave of nicotine-starved hot chicks emerging from the fairgrounds’ east side. But before that was to happen I’d score my first quality sighting in an hour with Sighting #55, also on the south side. A group of four 19-20ish that included one guy and three girls were meandering southward. I caught a sexy brunette who looked very much like Kristen Stewart taking a drag from a freshly lit cigarette. The sighting never quite lived up to expectations but had some great context in that after that first drag, one member of the group handed her a small tub of greasy fair food. For the next few minutes she proceeded to walk holding that tub of food with her smoldering cigarette extending from between her fingers with the same hand. I was hoping for a smoking while eating sighting, but she ate the nuggets of whatever food it was without smoking, yet I still got off on how stinky that food must have been being only inches away from her smoldering cigarette. After finishing the food, the group of four was aimlessly wandering in this area on the outskirts of a stage where a hypnotist was performing, making it very dangerous to watch them as they were literally moving from Point A to Point B and back with no direction at all. I saw several drags and she was an adept smoker, taking nice long drags and firing straight-ahead missiles with her exhales. As they drifted one more time to this area up near a tree and the girl handed off her cigarette to a less attractive dark blond in the group, I decided to walk away, too exposed for too long and hoping to avoid an awkward confrontation accusing me of stalking.
Plus it was 9:30 and that Hunter Hayes concert would be letting out any second and I wanted to be there when it did. I headed to the east side and the first wave of people was letting out. Last year, I think I scored 10 sightings in about three minutes when the wave of Band Perry concert attendees dismissed. Surely I’d get a similar tsunami of stink last night, right? Well…absolutely nothing in that first wave….but the singer was coming out for an encore so I decided to walk through the area, listen to a little more of the concert and then be there for the dismissal of the much larger second wave. There were one or two mediocre smokers puffing on the outskirts of the concert, but even after the concert dismissed…nothing. And that would be the story for most of the next hour and a half….nothing. And when I say nothing, I’m not just talking about no good sightings. I’m talking about next to no sightings at all. Here I was…amidst the very late evening crowd that saved me on Saturday night and the sightings come to a grinding halt. Virtually nobody was smoking, and at one point I went close to a half hour with zero sightings. It was a miracle my overall sightings numbers were as high as they were by evening’s end given that extended dead spot in what should be primetime fetishing.
I followed an insanely wholesome 16ish brunette who I had a smoking vibe from whose wholesome look contrasted with an exceptionally slutty pair of short and tight jean shorts with a shiny belt who left the Hunter Hayes concert. I knew she was a longshot, but it was an easy choice to follow her down the south side and watch that ass wiggle in those jean shorts. After following for about five minutes, she and her friend drifted into a livestock building so I abandoned ship. She would be one of two fruitless detours after the concert of girls who would have been my best sightings of the night if they had lit up.
It was after 11:00 when I finally across something else good with Sightings #71 and #72, two early 20s brunettes in a cluster of five in that middle part of the grounds that is usually teeming with teenagers but much less so last night…and none of them smoking. There was a dark brunette with a tight ponytail who had a certain look that drew me in as she smoked even though she was at best an 8. The dark blond across from her was more attractive, wearing a bare midriff black top and a pair of tight medium-blue jeans with a shiny belt. There was nothing particularly distinctive about their smoking styles, but at the point in the evening I was so starved for sightings of attractive smokers that I sat there watching from a nearby bench thinking I had just had a sip of water after walking two days in the desert.
After watching that two-for-one sighting for about five minutes, I departed when a couple of nonsmoking girls passed in front of me, my second of two fruitless detours of the night. They were both about 16, but one dark brunette in a black tanktop and white shorts was dripping with severe IT factor. Those white shorts covered the most spectacular ass of the evening and I really had a vibe this girl would smoke. I followed them down an extremely long corridor towards an obscure exit, waiting with baited breath every time it looked like she was reaching for her purse in hopes that cigarettes would be produced. Even after they left the gate, I watched from the gate thinking they might light up then. They didn’t, but for a chance at a sighting like this, it was worth the detour, especially since the rest of the grounds were so agonizingly dead.
It was 11:20 by now and time was slipping away, but I’d end with a flourish scoring two follow-ups and my heartbreaking almost sighting. The first follow-up came when I was walking around The Depot. It was pitch-black in the spot out back where the workers gravitate out, but I could see my adorable ponytailed 17ish Depot worker (Sighting #13) was one of the three that was stepping out. The two guys were getting behind the wheel of the golf cart-type vehicle that they were about to drive. My teen cutie was climbing into the back to sit in what would pass as a storage type area or open-air trunk on this vehicle. I had a feeling it was coming and it did….as the vehicle was preparing to drive off, a lighter flicked in the darkness and brought to life another of her cigarettes. Apparently stinky girl has to sit in the back so as to lessen her offensive odor to the adult males driving. Great follow-up on this one.
Only moments later, I got an even better follow-up. Not far from The Depot sitting on a bench I noticed from afar were two familiar faces…my Sightings #34 and #35 favorite-of-the-night girls who were getting hit on by the guys when I first saw them. Some things never change as now there was a shirtless teenage guy sitting in between the two girls. The blond sat there on the right left to her own thoughts as the guy was not coming on to her. It was kind of sad seeing her emotionless face knowing she was jealous of her prettier friend getting all the attention. But I couldn’t be sad for her for long as I looked past her to the Dana lookalike brunette who was being heavily courted by this nonsmoking guy….as she was in the final throes of another cigarette herself. I didn’t get a good look at the guy for obvious reasons but I’m pretty sure he wasn’t one of the random guys hitting on her earlier. Yet again this girl draws nonsmoking guys to her like bees to honey. Either all of these guys are operating under a “she smokes, she pokes” philosophy or they all have the smoking fetish. Whatever the case, they weren’t officially making out in the form of open-mouth kisses but they were in erotic state of passionate bliss pressing against each other. She took a final drag from her cigarette and, just like before, tossed it several feet in front of her. The grounds were empty enough at this point that there was no fear of her hitting somebody with the airborne butt, but the obnoxiousness of it was still sexy. Sexier yet was the 2012 version of Mark and Dana playing out in front of my face as these two were all over each other, her fresh ciggy stench driving this nonsmoking guy to the highest level of eroticism and the look of pleasure and passion evident on her face, making me seriously wonder if they were gonna bed down in the moments after leaving the fairgrounds. The deja vu factor made the smile on my face even wider as I walked by. They were gone the next time I walked by, quite possibly exchanging bodily fluids while she smoked. Fantastic!
Now for my heartbreaker, and this one is brutal given the opening I had that I wasn’t clever enough to take. It was 11:45 and I was on my way out of the grounds, needing to catch the last shuttle bus that left at midnight. I was gonna take a final drink from the fountain near the seating outside the grandstand before making my escape. On the bench sat three boys of varying ages, as old as 16-17 and as young as about eight, and all quite wholesome-looking. Standing in front of them was this spitfire of a 16-year-old brunette girl with a straw hanging out of her mouth. Obviously when I saw the straw in her mouth amidst this darkness the imagery of a cigarette crossed my mind, but quickly faded when I realized it was just a straw. But as I was getting my drink, I overheard snippets of this girl tormenting these poor boys who were trying to relax on the bench and from out of her mouth was “I need this straw….” followed by comments I couldn’t make out in which the word cigarette was included. Needless to say, my head popped up from the drinking fountain and I studied her more closely. Sure enough….there was a pack of Marlboro Menthols poking out of the right front pocket of her 16-year-old jean shorts! This girl smokes?!?!?! I thought to myself! She wasn’t quite as adorable as last Saturday’s sheep barn girl, but not far off…and whatever her relationship with this group of boys (brothers, perhaps one’s a boyfriend…who knows?)….I just had to take a seat and observe a little more of this as she continued to hassle these boys mercilessly.
They took note of my presence right away, and after only about 30 seconds the girl turned to me and said “Sir, do you have any gum?” I stood up and moved closer, breaking her heart by saying “no”.
“How about napkins?” she then asked, drawing a puzzled response from me as to why she’d want napkins at which point the older boy she was tormenting the most said “Don’t give it to her!” before the girl then responded that she wanted to shoot spitballs at him. This was just too adorable. I had neither and said so…at which point she still didn’t relent, asking if I had a dollar bill she could roll up and use. Needless to say, I should have parted with the dollar just to extend this encounter, but it was 11:50 and I had to leave, taking one last look at the pack of cigarettes tucked into her pocket that I so desperately wanted to see be removed. When I see a pack of cigarettes that I know belongs to a girl, I count it as a sighting, so in this case she was Sighting #79. But what could have been one of my best sightings of the fair season won’t be because no actual cigarettes were smoked.
It wasn’t until about 10 minutes later, when I was already on my shuttle bus, when I realized where I could have gone with this with just a little more on-the-spot imagination. I could have told her I’d give her that dollar if she gave me one of her cigarettes. Obviously I don’t smoke and could tell her I was saving it for the drive home….but I could have gotten in on this group’s dynamic when she took out her pack to give me one….at which point I could have turned to the guys and ribbingly asked them if she was old enough to smoke. Can you even imagine how delicious this could have been if I had thought of all this at time? Clearly I’ll know it for next time but a situation like this won’t come up often where a teen smoker interacts with me in any context. Sigh….I can’t get this girl out of my head since last night and would spend $500 to relive the moment. Whatever the case, it was both an exciting and a heartbreaking way to end the evening.
So there it goes with the 2012 Iowa State Fair. As I got on that shuttle bus and left the grounds, I was sad to see it go for another year, even though I’m nine days away from the even bigger event of the Minnesota State Fair. And with that said, I have to say the Freeborn County Fair edged out Iowa this year, especially with as weak as last Saturday was. Last night was undeniably better but those dead spots late in the evening smarted. My overall haul between the two nights was down considerably from the last two years as well. In 2010, I scored 136 sightings on Saturday and 83 on Wednesday night. In 2011, I scored 143 sightings on Saturday and 97 on Wednesday night. I was down both nights this year with 109 on Saturday and 80 on Wednesday night. Definitely moving in the wrong direction, but I think it’s a mistake to conclude smoking is down significantly as it could just as easily have been bad timing on my part for being where the sightings are. Either way, a handful of truly memorable sightings this year poised to be singled out for recognition on my blog when I do my annual update.