Well I guess yesterday at the Minnesota State Fair was finally the day I burned out. I went in with a full intention of fetishing for 14 hours like I always do, but after about three very unproductive hours it hit me I was wasting a lot of time at a place like my state fair where there are so many better things to do. For most of the day, I was thoroughly impressed with the rest of what the Minnesota State Fair has to offer, enjoying the albino pheasant in the 4-H building, other exotic animals in the DNR building, a flurry of nifty gadgets on sale at the commercial exhibits building, and crop art in the horticulture building. I did manage 23 sightings over the course of the day just as a matter of walking around the grounds and bumping into things, but my heart truly wasn’t in it yesterday and I’m not sure it will be again….
….and if you buy that I have a bridge to sell you. Seriously, it was another solid day at the fair. Even though I was sure I was poised to smash the previous one-day record of 212 sightings this year, things slowed down in the final hour and I ended with 203 sightings, giving me a two-day Minnesota State Fair sightings haul of 397 sightings. Qualitywise, it was on par with last week. There were no epics but there were a lot of very pretty and shapely young ladies with cigarettes, and also a few exotic sightings readers should get a kick out of. And furthermore, while this was a very good sightings day for me but not one of my all-time best, it was the day I’ll walk away with the most long-term memories from. Why you ask? Pictures, oh do I have pictures…24 of them to be exact, with some multiples of the same girl. Only a couple of them are genuinely good pics, but most were good enough to get a feel for what some of my biggest babes of the day looked like, an entirely new direction for my sightings reports.
The day started off as precariously as possible. I said that as the weekend approached, my family would have a huge decision on whether to proceed on Saturday despite a 30% chance of rain or to hold off until Sunday where the high temperature was supposed to be 65 degrees. It was a major gamble, but we went on Saturday, and basically the whole way up it rained. This was particularly unsettling since the rain was supposed to come mid-afternoon rather that 7 a.m., putting in question their forecast for the rest of the day. As I looked in horror through the flapping windshield wipers at the black clouds in the sky on the hour and a half drive up to St. Paul, I feared we might have made a mistake of epic proportions. But in the last 20 minutes of the drive, the rain clouds moved out and patches of blue started to be noticeable in the sky. Had the storm just arrived several hours earlier than projected? Sort of…more on that later. But anyway, we got extremely lucky and dodged a bullet, and with the sun coming out we had the added benefit of the grounds drying out after the recent rains.
Anyway, because of the turbulent weather and my fear that we hadn’t seen the last of it, I didn’t enter the fairgrounds with the degree of zest that I usually do at 8:45 a.m., but as the skies slowly cleared I got my mojo back. Nonetheless, those early morning hours were pretty stale. You always have to keep reminding yourself not to panic when it’s still midmorning and you’re seeing nothing of consequence. Almost always, conditions improve. Still I had been there close to two hours before I finally scored something worthwhile with Sighting #5. A pair of college-age couples was traversing the south side of the grounds, and one of the guys and one of the girls was smoking. She was the first pretty face I’d seen all day with a cigarette sticking out of it. I began to follow and had plenty of time to admire her, a brunette with considerable blond highlights decked out in a white top and blue jeans. Given the tannish cork filter on her cigarette, I’m pretty sure it was one of those Camel Turkish Blends which was fitting because the foursome stepped into the International Bazaar. Given the condensed setting of the Bazaar, despite it being open-air, most people sit on the edges of the place if they’re gonna smoke. Not this girl. The guy soon lost his cigarette, but the girl just kept on smoking. And she didn’t stop at the stage like most people do. The Bazaar has several small blocks of trinket stores from various cultures of the world, laid out almost like an Egyptian market. We’re talking some very condensed quarters her, but girly walked right in with her cigarette. I watched from behind as she took intermittent drags, exhaling thoughtlessly but never really hitting anybody in that relatively sparse morning crowd. I kept waiting for her to lose the cigarette but after all that obnoxious smoking up to that point, she broke my heart by walking up to a garbage can, stubbing the cigarette out, and tossing the butt in the trash. The upside is that she left a pretty significant black smear of tobacco ash on the garbage can. Alas, I had finally seen a worthwhile sighting and hoped there would be more where that came from.
The morning continued to be slow, as most mornings are, but the edge of the Coliseum would deliver for me next as it sometimes does. First I walked past a trio of two girls and a guy that I made a mental note of but saw on the horizon another trio of two girls and a guy, all smoking. Only one of the girls was cute, but Sighting #9, but boy was she cute….a 20ish brunette in a gray sweatshirt, jean shorts, and sunglasses who looked a little like a dark brunette version of an 18-year-old heavy smoker named Courtney I dated last year. However, my eyes were about to feast on another dose of candy as I looked to the right to see the aforementioned trio I had just passed lighting up cigarettes. There were two mid-20s blonds in the trio who became Sightings #10 and #11 but one of the blonds dominated my attention just because of her pedigree. She absolutely did not look like a smoker, looking as wholesome as they come with her ponytailed long blond hair, her utilitarian T-shirt and blue jeans. Talk about the girl next door. Yet it was the other girl who seemed halfhearted about her cigarette, sharing it with the guy. I had a front row seat to all of this tobacco consumption with the Courtney lookalike on one side and this sweetheart blond on the other….
As expected, the Courtney lookalike deposited her cigarette into the smoker’s outpost and her group pressed on back to the main part of the grounds, but blondie was still filling her body with carcinogenic pleasure, so much so that the other blond was walking across the street to one of the buildings, leaving behind the guy and my favorite blond. For the next few minutes, I was standing right in front of this girl watching her adorable and skillful performance. What a cutie…and she was clearly a well-practiced smoker. The guy hung back and talked to her briefly but then went inside to meet up with the other girl who I assumed was his girlfriend, leaving just blondie out there to perfect her stench. Unfortunately, she tapped the end of the cigarette to put it out (I believe they call this field stripping) and I just knew the cigarette was about to be deposited into a trash can without me identifying the cork filter butt. Sure enough she approached the building her friends had already entered and tossed the butt inside before entering the building herself. I didn’t figure she had littered the butt inside a building so I walked up to the spot and saw there was a trash can right inside the door. I was starting to become worried smoker girls were gonna be better behaved yesterday than they had been in the weeks prior, but it turned out the problem would only be an issue in the morning.
Next comes Sightings #18 and #19, what will go down as my best-ever Minnesota State Fair smoker girl sighting where no actual cigarettes were smoked. As I walked past the beer gardens block, I saw a trio of underage girls walking with a middle-aged guy who I figured was one of their fathers. Catching my eye was the prettiest of the three girls, a dark-complected 17ish brunette in a yellow tanktop and jean shorts with her hair in a tight ponytail…and I saw right away she was clutching a dark green pack of Marlboro Menthols in her hands. I followed, expecting she was gonna light up since the pack was out. She didn’t, but got to watch her stuff that pack in the tiny back pocket of her tight-fitting jean shorts. All three of these girls were skinny minnies, and all had the look of smokers. They weren’t particularly edgy or alternative, but they also weren’t girls next door. The dad then started asking around if the girls wanted root beer as they passed the root beer vendor. At least one of them apparently did, allowing me to stop and evaluate the trio. My dark-complected brunette with the pack of Marlboro Menthols jutting out of her jean shorts was hands-down the cutest, but I definitely sensed she was not the daughter of the dad catering to these girls every whim…and that one of the other girls was. I was able to snap three photos of the girls both at the root beer line and where they went next….to the midway where the dad stood in line for tickets while the girls drank their root beer….
Dad came back with a pile of tickets and the girls migrated to the scariest-looking ride on the midway. There was no line at this hour and I was about to walk away expecting everything there was to be seen had already been seen. But without comment, I saw my brunette take out her pack of Marlboro Menthols from her jean shorts. I didn’t think she’d be getting out a cigarette for when she was on the ride…and she wasn’t. But what she did do was at least as adorable. She handed the pack to the middle-aged guy to hold onto while she went on the ride. Since the ride went upside down, she apparently didn’t want to lose her smokes. And right when I thought it couldn’t get more adorable, the blond behind her (who I assumed was the middle-aged guy’s daughter given that they kind of looked alike) produced her own pack of Newports and handed them to the guy as well. The three girls then proceeded their cute little backsides onto the ride, leaving this pussy-whipped dad standing on the sidelines holding two underage girls’ packs of cigarettes for them as they went on the carnival rides. It was almost too cute for words, and I stayed for the duration of the ride hoping the girls would light up when they got off. They wouldn’t, however, and simply reclaimed possession of their packs from dad and headed elsewhere on the midway. It might have been an hour before they got around to smoking again and I wasn’t gonna wait the whole time, but honestly felt as though I had witnessed greatness with this sighting even without any actual tobacco having been smoked. And again, I have photos of this one.
It was noon by now and I was a little behind schedule from the week before. I passed the 20-threshold and scored some fairly mediocre sightings in the 20s. But as I made my first midway run of the day leading up to 1:00, attempting to catch the Sightings 18-19 girls smoking, I started seeing the sun give way to more dark clouds. Terrific….so we didn’t get the morning rain instead of the afternoon rain…we were gonna get it IN ADDITION to the morning rain. It started out as just sprinkles and then the sun would come out again. This pattern played out for about a half hour before it was clear we were gonna get at least one wave of decent-sized rain at around 1:30. After 25 years of going to the Minnesota State Fair, this was the first time I ever encountered rain beyond more than a mist. But as I was seeking refuge from the light rainfall, I spotted a cute 20-something brunette smoking a cigarette in a dry spot under a set of trees near the grandstand area. I hustled on over there and found that in addition to her, Sighting #31, she was in the company of two 20-something friends, Sightings #32 and #33, who were also smoking all-whites that looked like Marlboro Lights. Talk about making the best of a bad situation. So I’m standing there, keeping dry from the showers and watching three 20-something girls smoke cigarettes right in front of my face. Now before you get too excited, the girls were only modestly attractive. The brunette I spotted first was the prettiest of the three, but there was a blond in the mix who had a certain glam factor despite only being about a 6 out of 10 on the beauty spectrum, but she was the girl I was best positioned to watch smoke, and she put on a helluva show in the rain with some serious drags and three-pronged exhales from her mouth and nose that made clear her respiratory system had ingested a very significant amount of smoke. For almost the entire duration of their cigarettes, I was there for this show. Much as I wanted the rain to stop, it wasn’t a bad consolation prize to stand here for this show while the showers continued.
After only about 10 minutes, the rain would all but end save for a few residual sprinkles and the day would be restored without any additional precipitation. All things considered I had dodged a bullet and things were about to get interesting not long after Mother Nature’s baptism redeemed me. Sighting #36 was next to impress. Sitting there by herself on a smoke break from her job was this very pretty 21ish light brunette in blue denim capris who was decked out in a green apron and a green hat for the Deep-Fried Pickles stand where she works (if the smell is any indication of the taste, these things have to be disgusting…despite a line that seems to be permanently 40 people long). I sat on the curb across the street watching the show and she smoked and texted. I snapped a couple of pics, including one of her in mid-drag but they’re blurry and don’t do her justice. She stubbed out the two-thirds smoked cigarette, and then extracted her pack of Newports from her purse to save the rest for later. I’ve definitely noticed Newports raising their market share here in the Upper Midwest in the last year or so. Disappointed by the way this ended, I got up and took off.
Sighting #38 would give me partial redemption, once again leaning up against the Coliseum building. Two middle-aged women accompanied two hottie brunettes in black dresses in their early-to-mid-20s with a hard-core glam factor. One of the brunettes was smoking a cigarette. Unfortunately it was in its final throes so I only got to see three drags before the group pressed on. The upside was the smoker girl tossed her smoldering cigarette to the ground. Finally, a girl cooperatively piggish to allow a fetisher to identify her discarded cigarette butt. It was a Marlboro Light.
My day was really poised to bust loose with a flurry of mid-afternoon greatness at this point and one of the first to impress was Sighting #41, easily my most unique sighting of the day and in the top-five most unique of all-time. I was perusing the west side pillars outside the grandstand and spotted a cute 18-19ish couple heading to the burms to take a seat, just knowing that tobacco was about to be consumed in some capacity. The guy looked like a smoker but the girl didn’t. She was an adorable curly-haired brunette in a light yellow top and jean shorts and looked like a total sweetheart. The guy was carrying a bag and started opening it, reinforcing my prediction of cigarettes poised to make appearance. First the guy pulled out what looked like a small book, which he opened and looked at briefly. I figured it was some sort of State Fair booklet. Then he took out a pack of Marlboro Reds, extracted one, and lit himself up. I was losing faith in this sighting, but something told me to stick around based on some outside chance of at least a shared cigarette sighting with the boyfriend. That did not happen, but what did caught me completely off-guard. After about a minute of smoking himself, the guy handed the girl what I assumed to be the aforementioned book. She opened it and the next thing I knew she was pulling out some red cylinder from inside the “book” that bore a striking resemblance to a cigarette. Sure enough…she took the guy’s lighter and lit it up, proceeding to smoke it. My assumption is that she had gotten her hands on those extremely rare Nat Shermans, which are described as a “luxury cigarette”. I know these things come in a variety of colors and are stylishly packaged so that was my best guess. What an odd spectacle it was to watch this girl smoking a red cigarette for the next 10-15 minutes, taking slow and slight drags with slim exhales that indicated she was probably just a casual smoker who smokes a couple of these things a day. I had a good seat to watch this, but it was too far away. I snapped a photo (in mid-drag no less) and while you can appreciate a few fuzzy details, you can’t get the scope of what a cutie this girl is. She looked like your typical Midwestern girl-next-door, making it all the more intriguing to see that she’s a consumer of “luxury cigarettes” that you’d be more likely to see on the streets of Sojo in high-fashion New York City. She kept smoking this thing long after the boyfriend finished his Marlboro Red, and I was getting antsy in anticipation of checking out that red luxury cigarette butt to see if it was what I expected. But after all that waiting, things went badly when she handed the guy the red cigarette. The couple got up and he took a final couple of drags from the cigarette before tossing the butt in the trash can. Disappointing as this was, what a delicious oddball sighting and gave me the drive to press on further with my peak hours of the day.
Only moments later, another sexpot brightened my day on that same block between the beer gardens and the midway where I scored so many sightings this weekend and last. Walking southward, I saw a pair of couples heading the opposite direction, and immediately took note of a smoldering 21ish straight-haired dark brunette in a skimpy white tanktop revealing her bare midriff as well as snug, nicely fitting jean shorts that drove this girl’s sex appeal into overdrive. Oh, and she just happened to be wielding a cork-filter cigarette, becoming Sighting #44. The girls were walking in the front and the guys with them were following. One of the guys was smoking too, and at one point handed the other girl his cigarette from which she took a couple of drags. She was a dark blond in a white top and black shorts who also had sex appeal, but in terms of both smoking and IT factor paled in comparison to that dark brunette who I couldn’t take my eyes off of. It was hard to follow and get in on those exhales of hers with the two guys walking behind them, but I managed a couple of times and also managed a couple of photos. She was the kind of girl whose body just screamed “have sex with me!” and I followed in adoration as she continued to smoke her cigarette skillfully if not necessarily distinctively. The foursome hung out on a corner briefly as sexy finished her cigarette, and like so many of yesterday’s black-lunged addicts, smoked it very close to the filter, always managing to score another drag when I didn’t think there was enough left on the cigarette to bother. She finally relented, however, and dropped the cigarette to the ground. I walked over and judging from the butt figured it was probably a Marlboro 27 or some variation of cork-filter Marlboros. The day was really starting to get good now.
I was scoring sightings a pretty good clip by this point and ventured to the northeast side of the grounds where I would stumble into another blockbuster with Sighting #54. There are few things in life more satisfying that coming across a girl-next-door hottie with a shapely body decked out in a skimpy tanktop and snug white shorts while smoking a cigarette. I’m overcome by a sense of euphoria when I see this sort of thing and was lucky enough to experience it yesterday with this total babe of a 21ish ponytailed light brunette. She was walking with a plain jane nonsmoking friend who she managed to render as mere background noise as she perused the fairgrounds with her cigarette and smoking unapologetically. It was hard to get photos of girls in motion in this big of a crowd, but I managed three of them that least give a sense of this girl’s impressiveness. She had to be seen in person though, dripping sexuality in that girl-next-door way, especially with that microscopic pair of white shorts that caressed her bubble butt and came to a dead stop at the bottom of her asscheeks, displaying long, smooth, and cellulite-free legs beneath. I was able to catch a few exhales to walk through before she and the friend turned towards the food building. This street always has massive crowds, but sexy girl still walked through with cigarette in hand, filling her lovely body with the cancerous carcinogens it demanded. The sighting ended hilariously. She dropped her cork filter cigarette to the ground in the middle of the street. I came to a stop in the street to squash the cherry with my foot and this middle-aged woman walks into me from behind. For whatever reason, she was the one apologizing to me even though it was my fault. I thought she had gotten it out of her system and started bending over to check out the smoker’s cigarette butt, but as I’m bending over, she starts making additional lighthearted comments about the crowd. I’m literally eyeballing this discarded cigarette butt in front of her face and she doesn’t even know it. I’m saying brief and halfhearted comments to the woman before walking away, checking out that cigarette butt and seeing it was a Marlboro Red. This was a great trophy and I was still in close enough proximity to catch up with the girl and admire her beauty and awesome body again. I tried to get a good face shot with the camera phone while she stood in line for food but the crowd was just too unaccommodating so I settled for a rear shot.
The sighting I will narrowly rate as my sighting of the day came only a few minutes later. I retraced my steps after the last major girl and found myself back near the information booth. Emerging from the north side was another incredible spectacle with Sightings #58 and #59. For the second time in about 15 minutes, I was treated to that classic image of a well-proportioned female figure dressed in classic summer attire proudly progressing through the Minnesota State Fairgrounds in possession of smoldering cigarettes. Only this time I got it in duplicate as there were two girls. Sightings #58 and #59 managed to leave an even better first impression than did the last girl as they proceeded down the grounds wielding their freshly lit all-whites by their side without the slightest hint of self-consciousness. As for the girls themselves, they seemed like a bit of a mismatch…in the most adorable way. The first girl was a long-haired dark blond in a gray top and jean shorts. She looked about 21 and had a definite smoker’s look. She had a bookbag on her back advertising UWRF, which is the University of Wisconsin-River Falls, and this girl definitely looked as though she could have attended there. But the other girl is what made this sighting so incredible. She was a dark brunette with a turquoise tanktop and jean shorts….and the sweetest face complete with a mouthful of braces. I really struggle to believe that this girl is 18. It doesn’t make any sense the older girl would be hanging out with her if she was 16 as she looked though…and they didn’t look at alike to where I suspected they were sisters, but I concluded that had to be the case because there’s no way this underage cutie was a college friend. Whatever the case, I scrambled to get some photos and managed three pretty darn good ones, at one point getting spotted by another girl who seemed to know exactly what I was doing as I preparing my camera phone for the approaching smoking babes. After I was satisfied with my picture haul, it was time to settle in for a great smoking show. The older blond was the veteran smoker and it showed by how much more quickly she made her cigarette disappear than the friend. I definitely sensed another mentor and protege dynamic at work here, with the younger girl doing what she could to emulate her addicted older friend. But at the same time, I don’t want to sell the younger girl short. Aside from being adorable, she impressed with her technique taking nicely timed drags, holding the smoke in for several seconds, and then turning her head to the right and releasing a cloudy scud missile of smoke that looked like a scissors slicing through the midafternoon sky. And her exhales seemed more deliberate than the older girl, carelessly directed to her side no matter what luckless fairgoer happened to be in her path. You don’t like being in the path of this underage cutie’s smoke plumes, you say? Well that’s really too bad for you isn’t it? Because she’s gonna exhale her smoke in the middle of the crowded fairgrounds whenever she damn well pleases….
And on top of these impressive exhales, it was those moments when she turned to head to the right to release them that I had my biggest epiphany with this sighting. Looking at her face, she looked EXACTLY like 14-year-old singer Rebecca Black, whose song and accompanying video “Friday” was voted “worst song ever” earlier this year. If you’re not familiar, check out her photos online and possibly the video and you’ll understand why this sighting was my favorite of the day. If Rebecca Black has an identical twin who’s a couple of inches shorter and about 15 pounds skinnier living in Minnesota, this was the girl. As if the sighting wasn’t adorable enough already, from out of nowhere I noticed the older friend producing a SECOND cigarette which she placed in her mouth. Rebecca Black’s doppelganger proceeded to place her own cigarette to the other girl’s that was dangling from her lips and brought it to life for her, reinforcing my mentor and protege image of this sighting. They then proceeded to the aforementioned deep-friend pickle stand where they both got in the compressed line obnoxiously exposing the rest in the line to their noxious cigarette smoke, continuing a theme consistent with this sighting from the beginning. As stinky as the deep-fried pickle stand is anyway, these girls were trying to outstink it with their smelly cigarettes. The younger girl took the final drag off of hers and tossed the butt to the ground and stomped it out. Thankfully she did it a little to the side of the line allowing me to identify it in a couple of moments. As expected it was a Marlboro Light. I was already in a much-improved mood after the rain stopped, but I literally felt like I was walking in the clouds on this one, and had more fun stuff coming up in the moments ahead.
One of those moments would be Sighting #65, once again outside of the beer gardens. A dude with a cigarette was standing next to a very attractive mid-20s short-haired blond who had a decided glam factor-meets-girl-next-door thing going on, decked out in a black top and nicely fitting dark blue jeans with glossy silvery trim, but she wasn’t smoking upon arrival. Still, I had a good feeling about her and walked around the tree she was leaning against. Sure enough….an unlit all-white was cupped in her hand, in the ready to be brought to life. I had a rotten vantage point and had to cross the street to watch the show, but what happened next was adorable. She inserted the cigarette in her mouth….and it was crooked. She somehow bent it in her hand and now was in the midst of a 20-second unlit dangle with a crooked cigarette in her mouth. She eventually lit it and continued dangling for about 5-10 more seconds, seemingly oblivious to the fact that her cigarette was warped. Crooked or not, she smoked it nicely even though my positioning left me unable to watch her smoke it in its entirety. I struck around for three very nice drags as she conversed with the boyfriend and sipped on a beer.
All I would have to do is turn the corner to the other side of the beer gardens block when I would get Sighting #66, another unusual one. As I was scanning the crowds for smoker girls, my nose picked up the more-common-than-it-used-to-be aroma of very heavy cigar smoke in the area. I looked around to identify its source and found a couple sitting in one of these old Tilt-a-whirl cars that has been reconfigured as a bench. There was a husband and wife sitting in there smoking giant cigars. The wife was a ponytailed light brunette and mid-to-late 30s, possibly even early 40s and outside my traditional preferred age range, but she was still decently attractive and was smoking the biggest cigar I’ve even seen a woman smoking in public…at least outside of the even bigger cigars my ex-girlfriends smoked for me. It was fun watching the smallish woman place the huge cigar in her mouth and take a puff, exhaling a snootful of stinky cigar smoke into the crowd, which plenty of fairgoers besides myself seemed to notice as they walked by. I tried to take a pic and I thought it turned out, but looking at it now it’s largely a blur and you can’t even really see her cigar. Still, one more nugget of the afternoon that had me on Cloud 9.
I walked back up to the area outside the grandstand and had a sighting of a more traditional cutie with Sighting #67, which consisted of a group of three guys hanging with a token hot chick, all of them smoking. It’s easy to see why the guys were hanging with this girl as she was fun and hot, her long light brown hair flowing onto her skimpy green tanktop with a pair of blue shorts on the bottom. She was extremely pretty, and was sort of the borderline in regards to whether she looked like a smoker or not. But a smoker she was as she attended to her cigarette while dishing out the BS with the guys, giggling and enjoying her time at the fair as I watched from a pretty good front row seat. Her smoking technique was good but didn’t stand out in any particular way. She was one of those girls who was so pretty that just seeing her brandishing a cigarette was victory enough no matter what her smoking style was like. I was close enough to snap a fairly decent photo of this one.
After that I purchased my slice of chocolate-covered cheesecake and got greedy, heading up to the north side. Once again I almost came up empty but ultimately got rewarded on the final block of the north side run when I ran into Sighting #70, a glamorous early 20s light brunette in the company of another young gal and a middle-aged man who was the father one or both of the women. The guy was smoking…as was my favorite girl. I had seen this girl earlier on the grounds and thought to myself she’d make a pretty sexy smoker. My first impression was validated when I saw her in her badass sunglasses, black T-shirt, and tight blue jeans. The three people were conversing and the guy clearly saw me watching them, so I couldn’t hang around for long, but I stuck around for a few drags and she lived up to expectations with some nice drags, lengthy hold times, and cloudy exhales. Even though most of my trips to the north side produce at least one noteworthy sighting, and this journey was no exception.
I next headed back towards the grandstand’s outdoor seating area and scored a sweet little sighting with an impressive trajectory. My eyes first drifted towards a young late teen couple sitting on a flight of cement steps, laying back and relaxing. Then I noticed a long-haired blond with a cigarette seated a few yards in front of them standing up over a garbage can and slowly letting a massive lugie drip from her mouth into the garbage can. The girl’s hair covered her face so I couldn’t see her face, but for some reason I was under the impression she was a 40-something woman. I looked past her as she released that huge dribble of saliva to see the face of the girl on the steps doing an explicit “ewwww! that’s disgusting” face while watching the smoker girl release her slobber. But I was still of the mind that this was a 40-something until she sat back and revealed her face as that of a cute 19-20-year-old blond, officially making her Sighting #72. And for whatever reason, she had this giant smirk on her face that did not go away in the moments to come as she attended to her cigarette. Was she smiling because she knew she grossed out that girl watching her? Was she with the couple and was smiling for the same reason? Or was she smirking over something different entirely? Whatever the case, anytime you have a cute blond both smoking and spitting, you have a great sighting. I only wish I had a better vantage point to watch the sighting in its entirety rather than pressing on after just a few drags. I returned a couple of minutes later but she was already gone.
The sightings continued to come at a good clip and I was slightly ahead of my baseline as the 5:00 hour approached. But I wouldn’t score another truly delicious nugget until Sighting #97 on the east side when I saw a group of two guys and two girls, all in their early 20s, heading off the main street of the grounds up to the north side. Only one was a smoker, and it was the hottie of the group, a long-haired light brunette with an impressive mane of curly hair going all the way down her back. She was another wholesome girl-next-door with a slight bit of a hippie vibe, decked out in a pink T-shirt and shape-fitting black and white plaid shorts that framed her awesome lower body beautifully. I followed and got a couple snapshots with my camera phone, neither turning out particularly well largely because of the sun’s angle but both giving a general sense of the girl’s appeal. The guys both drifted towards some sort of ATV dealership that the girls wanted no part of, sitting down by a tree while the cutie attended to her beer and her cigarette. Her technique was solid if unsubstantial but I continued to be impressed at how many groups I ran into where the prettiest girl in the cluster was the only smoker. At one point, the cigarette just seemed to disappear from her fingers and I had no idea what had happened. I lingered for a couple extra minutes until the guys returned from the ATV vendor. The girls got up off the ground, with the extra bonus of seeing my smoker girl wipe the dirt off her ass in those hot shorts, before pressing on with the group. I watched as the girl dropped her beer cup in the trash, not adding two and two together at first as I scoped the area where she sat for freshly extinguished cigarettes but seeing nothing. I then walked up to the garbage can and looked inside. Sure enough, there was a nearly empty beer glass sitting on top with a soaked cork filter cigarette butt inside. Unfortunately, I couldn’t identify the brand and didn’t care to linger too long peeking into a garbage can.
Another sighting of similar pedigree occurred moments later with Sighting #99. I had gone on an unplanned detour following the last girl so I returned back to the main street of the grounds after that sighting played out. Once again, I was looking in the right direction at the right time to spot what I first expected was just a young couple that included a slender dark brunette sexpot in a black top and jean shorts wielding a cigarette….and once again, I followed them in the same direction I had just been detoured up to the north side. While the girl looked like a smoker, her sexy body still jumped out at me and I scored a pretty solid frontal photo of her with cigarette in hand shortly after spotting her. The sighting was not without its frustration though as from the time I spotted her, well over two minutes passed before she took her first drag. I wasn’t sure what was up with that, but the social dynamic between her and the boyfriend (at least I thought he was a boyfriend) was fascinating enough to intrigue me even without her smoking. The guy was a total pimply-faced dweeb…the very embodiment of the guy living downstairs in his parents’ basement, yet here he was walking the Minnesota State Fairgrounds with this sexpot smoker babe. Watching it, I thought seeing things like this should give every young nerd hope of landing a hot girlfriend, because if this pair was really a couple, any potential duo seems viable! Alas, her extended period between drags would ultimately work to my advantage as she placed the cigarette in her mouth and needed to take an epic six-second drag to pull any smoke into her lungs after letting it all but go out. Her cloudy exhale confirmed she was as hard-core of a smoker as I thought she was…..
A few moments later, she placed the cigarette back in her mouth, discovering this time it really had gone out. There was no more than three drags left on the cigarette, but she was dedicated and placed the unlit stub in her mouth, dangling it while fishing through her purse for her lighter. In seconds, she fired up the remains of her all-white and proceeded to continue smoking, at one point even releasing an exhale that I was fortunate enough to walk through. Now I had been mindful of another young couple that seemed to be following this girl and her boyfriend since I first laid eyes on them, but they’d been following at a reasonable distance, suggesting that perhaps they couldn’t tolerate their friend’s smoky stench the way her boyfriend did. But then I heard a female voice from even further behind yell “Amanda!” yielding the attention of my addicted brunette who turned around. There were two couples following them, and I can’t help but think that somebody in the group had noticed me following and snapping pictures over the several minutes I was tracking this sighting. “Amanda” was then chatting with the rest of the group, finally getting to the last drag from her cigarette before dropping it to the ground, crushing it out, and proceeding further north with the group. I had a wide open lane to swoop in and identify the butt. It was a Camel Light.
And it would turn out that “Amanda’s” slow smoking would have another upside. No sooner did I walk off from that sighting than I looked up to see another familiar set of asses….of the Rebecca Black lookalike and her friend. I was elated to see these two babes walking in front of me again, even though they weren’t smoking at the time. My favorite girl was eating some junk food on a stick and I followed, hoping for another smoky dessert. Unfortunately it wouldn’t happen even though I followed for about 10 minutes. Interestingly, Rebecca Black 2.0 continued to clutch that stick in her hand as she walked, long after finishing the food. It planted this phallic image in my head, probably because everything this girl did was a reinforcement of how much I wanted to enjoy a complete physical union with her. At one point, she even cut loose with a cough and I liked to think to myself that it was a smoker’s cough. It was the peak sightings hour, however, and when they proceeded for 10 minutes without lighting up, I had to retreat. Even without any more smoking, it was worth it to get this limited encore from these girls, just as a reminder that they really were parading down the main street of the fairgrounds with cigarettes like they owned the place only a couple of hours earlier.
As is always the case during the 6:00 hour, sightings came fast and furious. One sighting I only got to enjoy for a moment but made the most of was Sighting #109, which took place near the restroom area right next to the beer gardens. I saw this young couple that included a hot mid-20s brunette with a shapely figure decked out in a black tanktop and cutoffs. Both the guy and the girl were smoking cigarettes and there happened to be an open bench with a front-row seat. I grabbed it and had no problem snapping a pretty decent picture, even though you can’t really see her cigarette in it. I just got the photo in, however, when the couple was beckoned by another couple who just left the bathroom and the group started walking out of the area. This was peak sightings hour though, so it was time to press on…
And in this case, my pressing on at that moment would lead me to my second favorite sighting of the day. In terms of the storyline of this sighting, it was actually the best of the day, but my Rebecca Black clone had such a cutiepie IT factor that I have a particular soft spot for her but as I headed southward from the beer gardens I spotted a duo of 16-17ish girls seated on the curb and just sparking up cork filter cigarettes. It was the kind of moment I waited all day for and I crossed the street for my front-row seat for Sightings #110 and #111. I had perfect timing to snap a couple of pictures, catching both girls with their cigarettes. The girl furthest from me was a light brunette in a blue T-shirt and nicely fitting black shorts. She was a plain jane but had an undeniable cuteness factor nonetheless. But it was her friend, the girl closest to me, who impressed most. She was a total cutie of a ponytailed blond in a multicolored flower-print tanktop and blue shorts who bore a striking resemblance to a smoker girl friend of mine named Alissa when she was 16, albeit with blond hair. Both girls were extremely skilled smokers, but blondie was the better of the two taking frequent and extensive drags, producing somewhat careless exhales that scattered with the intensifying wind. Clearly this dynamic itself would have made for a great sighting, but it was about to get a truly yummy helping of additional context as the girls were joined by two guys, one white and one black, whose wholesome look became even more wholesome when they approached the girls, each carrying a glass of milk in each hand. This group was sitting outside the “All the Milk You Can Drink for $1” stand and as I listened to their conversation, the girls were joking with the guys about how much they loved their milk. And then it got even better when from out of nowhere a cone full of chocolate chip cookies was produced and the girls got their hands on them. So we literally had two teenage girls sitting on a curb, cigarette in their left hands, cones of chocolate chip cookies in the other hand, and a glass of milk in front of them. And next to them you have two wholesome guys snacking on milk and cookies while their underage girlfriends smoked. Now it would have been ideal if the girls’ followed a pattern of taking a bite from the cookie, then taking a drag from their cigarette, and then taking another bite from the cookie, they nonetheless juggled the two “snacks” evenly by finishing off one cookie, puffing on their cigarettes, and then going in for one more cookie. The sighting would then get another act…..
I was leaning up against a garbage can with all the people cashing in on the “all-you-can-drink milk” gimmick behind me, watching with glee as this sighting played out. At that point, my blond cutie stood up and started getting touchy-feely with the white boy in her group, leading me to believe he was her boyfriend. While standing there, she continued to smoke her cigarette, but at one point handed it to the friend saying something inaudible to which the friend answered her with something else I couldn’t hear through a talking exhale. From that point the girl’s intentions became clear as she took her bag off her back and pulled out a gray sweatshirt which she proceeded to put on. The cold front had gone through after the rainstorm and while I thought it felt good, a lot of girls seemed to be cold, meaning I would now have a teen smoker cutie in a sweatshirt to watch finish off her cigarette. Meanwhile, back on the curb, the brunette girl was holding the two cigarettes side by side, and it was clear blondie’s cigarette had been smoked more quickly given that there was less left of hers. After slipping into her sweatshirt, blondie reclaimed the cigarette and continued to smoke it skillfully, only this time exposing her milk-and-cookies wholesome nonsmoking boyfriend to her fumes. Kind of hilarious how these guys are trying to do their bodies right with the vitamin-enriched milk they were sipping, but undermining it by hanging out with these girls mercilessly exposing them to cancerous secondhand smoke. My blond Alissa doppelganger smoked her cigarette right down to the filter before dropping it to the curb. I would say she didn’t bother to crush it out, but she didn’t have to since there was no tobacco left to put out! A couple of minutes later, the brunette who was still sitting on the curb finished her cigarette with at least a little white left in front of the cork filter, crushing it out on the curb and then leaving it sit there when she stood up to join the rest of the group all of whom were at this point standing. I took her place on the curb and had no problem stealthy spot-checking her cigarette butt and identifying it as a Marlboro 27, and I figured the other girl’s cork filter was most likely the same. Sightings don’t get much more fun than that one.
It was about 6:40 at this point and I was planning to meet the parents at 7 p.m. as I always do. It seems like I frequently score a blockbuster or epic sighting at 6:30 that I’m able to see play out, but I’m in big trouble if I stumble upon one of these sightings at 6:55 as I’ll have to meet up with the parents and won’t have time to see it through. It’s bound to happen one of these next years I suspect.
I would get a sweet repeat performance heading down Judson Avenue past the International Bazaar just a few minutes later. Standing outside the bathroom were three familiar-looking girls, one of whom was brunette “Amanda” from my Sighting #99. Sure enough, only about a half hour after the last sighting, Amanda was smoking another of her Camel Lights in the company of her nonsmoking female friends chatting with her. Amanda might be a slow smoker, but she seems to make up for it with the frequency with which she fills her lungs with poison.
The 6:00 hour lived up to its reputation with a wizbang litany of sightings, the last of note in the burms outside the grandstand seating area where I saw Sighting #122, my most unlikely smoker girl of the day. She was a “cute nerd” with shoulder length red hair and glasses, and hanging out with a nonsmoking guy who was an even bigger nerd. The girl was an unconventional cutie, but had an aura of sex appeal nonetheless sitting there in her T-shirt and shorts, and that would have been true even without the cigarette in her hands. With the cigarette in her hands, I found myself jealous of this guy who was sitting right next to her as she exposed him to secondhand smoke. I would see the two of them with another couple about a half hour later, with the redheaded girl smoking again…and once again, being the only smoker in her group. Strange but irresistible dynamic, and definitely the smoker girl I had to do the biggest double take on during the day to make sure I was seeing right that she was in possession of a cigarette.
It was now 7:00 and time for the brief meet-up with my parents. I said in last week’s writeup that my 7:00 baseline is 116-125 sightings. Last night I was right on track with 123 and I sensed a pretty decent night was ahead of me, with an excellent chance of breaking the previous year’s numbers total of 212 sightings. Of course, last year’s wild and woolly evening sightings haul will forever be the benchmark from which I measure a successful evening at the Minnesota State Fair, meaning the expectations I set for myself have little chance of being met very often. With that said, I had a pretty good evening haul in my final three hours at the fair, definitely a peg or two better than the previous week’s evening haul which was a little disappointing. I put the gel-filled inserts in my shoes and pressed forward for the final act of the 2011 Minnesota State Fair.
The first evening sighting to impress would be Sightings #133 and #134. The area outside the radio station stage playing the dance music that attracts teenagers continued to be a gold mine last night. The crowds are thick and hard to navigate through as afternoon turns to evening, but I could see from a distance two early 20s guys with cigarettes in the company of two blonds of the same age in skimpy white tanktops and jean shorts. The girls were both climbing onto the radio station’s stage when I decided to elbow my way through the crowd for a closer look. Both girls were hot, but the curly-haired blond of the duo really grabbed my attention. I hadn’t seen them in possession of cigarettes at this point, but as soon as they stood up on the stage they just climbed onto, I discovered I had just missed it on my first glance as both girls had smoldering all-whites in their hands. But why were they climbing onto this stage, I asked myself? I got my answer in seconds as their boyfriends were readying cameras to snap photos of them standing on the stage. Just like at my Iowa State Fair, the girls lifted their cigarettes into the air, making sure they’d be photographed wielding cigarettes…as if terrified of the thought of anybody getting the impression through photo evidence that they weren’t all stink all the time. It happened too quickly for me to get a photo and the girls were climbing off the stage, and the four of them then weaved through the crowd with their cigarettes, taking intermittent drags while heading to the beer gardens. They stalled a little on the final approach to the beer gardens since they wanted to finish their cigarettes. The guys both appeared to have already finished theirs, but my two blonds were hanging back. The curly-haired girl I was most intrigued with stood right on the edge and took a final drag from hers before dropping it to the cement and crushing it out. While that worked to my advantage since I was able to identify it (Marlboro Light by the way), I gained more respect for the other girl, plenty cute herself but overshadowed by her more glamorous friend. She still had a few puffs left on her cigarette, and wasn’t gonna let them go to waste. She walked right into the smoking-restricted indoor portion of the beer gardens with cigarette in hand to place her order for an adult beverage. If only every smoker was as defiant to smoking bans as she was, perhaps we’d be better positioned to stave off enforcement of such intrusive laws.
Sighting #146 would finally whet my appetite for the demographic of nicotine-addicted fairgoer I’m always most hopeful to see but often prove elusive…..the wholesome underage girl. Nonetheless, it seems like patience is ultimately rewarded with an eventual sighting and even though this one would be brief, less definitely proved to be more in this instance. Walking on the street encircling the Space Tower sat a bench full of teenagers including three girls and a guy. They looked like a fairly typical cohort of 16ish kids but even from afar, one girl had a face that demanded to be adored. And it just so happened she was digging into her purse. Could she, I thought to myself before I even got a close enough look to know if she was worth the hype. Only once or twice in a fair day are you genuinely surprised, but when I saw a lighter spark about an inch in front of her face, my evening’s moment of surprise had arrived. And the bench right next to them was wide open. The only downside was that there were four people on the bench and she was on the inside with the guy in the group to her left obstructing my view. That minor complaint aside, the girl could not have possibly lived up to expectations better, with a positively adorable and wholesome face, long light brown hair going down her back and a skimpy pair of tight-fitting jean shorts on the bottom with a smooth set of slender stems extending beyond them. It appeared as though she had just saved the tail end of this cigarette as she only mustered four drags from it, but knowing that this girl, far and away the cutest and most wholesome girl in this group of comparative plain janes was the only smoker had my heart racing. I didn’t have a great vantage point of her exhales but they were very cloudy for a girl her age and if her friends’ group who were huddled onto this bench with her didn’t like the smell of smoke then they were out of luck last night because she was producing serious clouds full of it. All too quickly, the cigarette was exhausted of its contents and she boarishly tossed the still-smoldering butt onto the street in front of her. The group obediently got up preparing to leave, and this 16ish sweetheart began walking right in front of me while the others in her group stood from behind watching her with smirks on their faces. When she was standing right in front of me, looking almost like a caricature of a wholesome 16-year-old Midwestern girl, holding her purse and her can of Mountain Dew, her friends were reminding her that whatever the destination they were headed to was the other direction. With a bubbly smirk and some lighthearted comments uttered back at them in a girlish voice that suggested this girl is the most fun person in her group and perhaps a little flaky, she walked back in the other direction and left with the friends. First I spotted that still smoldering cork filter butt she left behind. It was a Newport. And then I raced ahead hoping to get a picture of this cutie. Unfortunately it was almost sunset and my camera doesn’t work at all in the dark. I got a terrible headless photo from behind that’s very blurry but nothing else worked. Still, those wholesome underage sightings give you a surge of energy that makes sore feet not so sore anymore for the remaining 2 1/2 hours of fetishing. Despite the limited time frame, it was one of my top-five sightings of the day.
The good fortune followed me to the center of the grounds with Sighting #149, featuring a group of six (three guys and three girls) who were about 21 or 22. Two of the guys and two of the girls were smoking cigarettes, but all of them were drinking beers. When I first saw the curly-haired light brunette in the black top and utilitarian girl-next-door jean shorts holding the beer and a freshly lit all-white, I thought to myself “social smoker”. It took all of 10 seconds for that perception to be discredited with the frequency she attacked that cigarette and the ferocity of her drags and exhales. This girl was the real deal if ever there was one, but once again did not even come close to looking the part. I had a perfect shot with my camera of her standing right in front of me, but by now the sun had set and the shot was all blur. My camerawork for the evening was over with, but that gave me more latitude to watch the sightings play out, and in this case, the best part of the sighting came next. There are these crazy wooden displays with holes for people to stick their heads into and have somebody snap pics of. Three of the friends were positioning their faces onto this display for photos, and that meant an extended 20-second dangle from the designated photographer…my wholesome brunette. After that a continued rapid litany of impressive dragging and cloudy exhalations from one of the girls my gut was most wrong about. They walked across the street and the girl obnoxiously tossed her smoldering butt to the ground, leaving one of the guys in the group to do the honorable thing and crush it out for her. This made my job all the more easy to identify it as a Marlboro Light. It was only 8 p.m. and I already had 150 sightings, making it impossible to believe I wouldn’t break my all-time record by 10:30.
Another great one came moments later with Sighting #154. I was back at the aforementioned radio stage playing dance music and there was an especially large crowd watching some guy doing some special dance moves at this point. I huddled into the back of the crowd and found myself looking down at this awesome ass in white shorts. It belonged to the glam early 20s blond standing in front of me watching the show. The girl was quite pretty as well, but that ass was what I couldn’t take my eyes off of. She was rockin’ the kind of Jennifer Lopez-style jumbo-sized booty that certain girls (like Lindsey last year) can make look sexy beyond belief. My hand was only a few inches away from doing what it wanted to do…smack that piece of ass. Obviously I resisted, thanks to some especially disciplined brain receptors. But amidst my lip-smacking observation of this first-rate caboose, the stench of fresh cigarette smoke was assaulting my nose. It could have been coming from just about anybody in a crowd this size, but moments later I would discover its source was none other the blond in front of me who proceeded to place the cigarette into her mouth and take a drag. I was only inches away as I watched her release that lungful of smoke into the windy night air. I followed the smoke as it first hit a young father in the back of the head who was standing in front of her…and then drifted directly into the face of the six-month old baby the guy was holding over his shoulder. If only this girl knew….
Shortly after the girl and her mildly attractive African American friend who also smoking started walking away with cigarettes in tow. Needless to say, I followed. They proceeded into the midway, and while listening to that dance music, blondie did a sexy little jig that redirected my eyes to her amazing ass as it wiggled and jiggled to the gyrations of her hips. The midway was crowded and I found that a group of young guys had gotten in front of me as I was following the blond smoker, undoubtedly eyeballing that ass as any sane heterosexual male would, but this would work out to my advantage as the same wind that sent this girl’s previous careless exhales into the face of a little baby was now repeatedly nailing the guys in the face, one after another. I was wondering if I had other fetishers joining me in pursuing this girl. And she always exhaled the same way, turning her head to the right and producing a giant blast of thick smoke from her mouth, and then kept her head turned just long enough to where I was also able to see a substantial residual blast of smoke escape from her nose. This was one very addicted girl who wasn’t afraid to let anybody see or smell that. Once again, she smoked the cigarette very close to the filter, leaving me with yet another cork filter butt that I was not able to definitively identify the brand, but predicting to be a Marlboro of some variety based on the rings. If there’s a downside to girl smoking their cigarettes to the filter, that’s it. Another of my top-five sightings of the day and quite possibly the best ass I saw on a smoker all day amidst some stiff competition (as in making-me-stiff competition).
Only moments later, encircling the beer gardens block where at least 50% of my evening sightings come from, I caught a sighting of an attractive but chubby brunette in the back of a group visibly smoking a cigarette. But looking past her, I saw there was a knockout beauty next to her, another long-haired brunette without any such chubbiness issues. I encircled the group and confirmed that this tall hottie with an inarguable IT factor was wielding a cigarette of her own. She looked like somebody…either a girl from my smoker rolodex or a celebrity, but I can’t place who it is. Nonetheless, this girl was the star of the hour, rocking a black top, skimpy jean shorts, INCREDIBLY long and smooth legs and a pair of black cowgirl boots that really completed her look. While the chubbier girl was clearly the more adept smoker judging by the frequency of her drags, her hotter friend was a pleasure to watch too with nice drags and easily visible exhales given her towering height (I’d guess she was 5’10”). My positioning for a sedentary sighting was not great, so I was at first relieved when the girls started walking away. The chubby girl had already finished her cigarette, but hot stuff was still carrying hers across the fairgrounds, through the heart of a very substantial crowd. It was hard to keep pace with her as she meandered through the crowd near the radio station stage, but I managed and was brimming with confidence after I caught up with her that I’d be able to identify her cigarette butt. It turned out I was wrong, but in a beautiful way. She ascended the steps to the women’s bathroom and took the final drag from her cigarette before dropping the butt on the cement just outside the bathroom door. As I saw the volume of women and girls entering and exiting that bathroom, I couldn’t walk up those steps and look at that cigarette butt. I’ve really gotten brave in regards to butt identification, but I haven’t gotten quite that brave yet. Nonetheless, I’d see this girl and her friend outside the beer gardens again about an hour later. She was again worth stopping and observing for a few moments just because she was so damn hot and sexy, although she wasn’t smoking at that time.
At some point in between my first sighting of the #158 girl and the second came Sighting #171, which I didn’t see a lot of but was nonetheless memorable because of the group. There was a long-haired middle-aged guy who looked like a stereotypical old hippie/sociology professor preparing a cigarette as were the two females in his group, both of whom looked like they were in their 20s. His daughters perhaps? That’s as good of guess as any. Anyway, the long-haired dark blond of the group was the one that most caught my eye, with very girlish features on her pretty face and a sexy outfit that included a pair of tight black pants that caressed her firm ass nicely. They were just lighting up their cigarettes as they progressed down the block. I followed briefly, quickly identifying that the dark blond was a skilled smoker. The crowd was a little too dense for me to want to see this one through, but it was yet another tasty curd of deliciousness that the Minnesota State Fair came through with last night.
Another of those girls the MNSF came through with on September 3, 2011, was Sighting #177, again on the beer gardens block. There was a cluster of about five girls, all in the 21-22 range, hovering on the corner and most in possession of beers. I saw no signs of cigarette smoke on first glance, but after surveying this group I was most drawn to a dark blond hottie in the back of the group. Not only was she the cutest and most wholesome girl in the group, she was also decked out in a stylish black leather jacket, and you know how I am with leather. There were a significant number of girls in leather jackets on the grounds last night, apparently eagerly awaiting the onset of autumn weather in a way I definitely am not. Anyway, I spotted this girl in the flattering leather jacket with an accompanying pair of nicely fitting dark jeans that went together well with the jacket and shaped her curves tastefully. Even though she seemed to be the least likely girl in the group to have a smelly cigarette between her fingers, I just had to encircle the group and see for myself. And sure enough…the one girl in the cluster to have a cigarette was my wholesome honey in the leather jacket. She was a joy to observe, her shoulder-length dark blond hair resting upon that leather jacket and her impressively timed drags from the cigarette, which she always released with a skyward-tilted blast of smoke from her mouth and nose, again putting in doubt my original instinct that she was probably just a social smoker. The high point of the sighting was when she held up her smelly cigarette in the face of one of her nonsmoking friends and said “What am I doing smoking Camels?”, the context of which will remain a mystery but which I kind of doubt her friend needed to know about with such a stinky visual aid flashed only inches from her face. The girl finished her cigarette and dropped it on the curb and stomped it out in a few moments, wandering just far enough away for me to easily make positive ID of her refuse. As she stated, it was a Camel Blue. These things really seem to be gaining in popularity among addicted young girls.
And the night still had a few more quality moments to come, the next being Sightings #181 and #182 near the haunted house on the south side of the fairgrounds. A giant cluster of 18ish kids was huddled in the middle of the street and from afar I was taken aback by the sight of a cigarette in the hands of this almost annoyingly wholesome curly-haired blond. How on Earth did this girl get to become a smoker, I asked myself, watching her take her first drag. I approached the group just as the only other girl in the group, an attractive brunette, was lighting up her own all-white. Once again today, I was witnessing a cluster where the only smokers were the girls, and in this case joined with at least five 18ish guys, none of whom were smoking. While the brunette was enjoyable to watch as well, this blond fascinated me. As unlikely as the #177 girl seemed as a smoker, this girl seemed even more unlikely, dressed in a utilitarian gray sweatshirt and blue jeans that seemed more likely to be worn by the girlfriend of the quarterback at a high school football game than an addicted teen smoker girl at the Minnesota State Fair. But as pedestrian as the outfit was, she made it sexy in her girl-next-door manner. She then got out her phone and proceeded to send some texts. Obviously the best result would have been an extended dangle, but this girl managed to hang onto her cigarette while texting. Again, her style impressed even though there was nothing particularly distinctive about it. And given that these girls were too young to be drinking and nowhere near the beer gardens…and that they were in a cluster of nonsmoking guys…I doubted that they were merely social smokers. Unfortunately, their huddle was awkwardly positioned right in the middle of the street and there was no way for me to observe without sticking out like a sore thumb. Indeed, one of the guys in the group seemed to notice me encircling their group like an invading army. It was time to split, which was unfortunate because I would have loved to see everything that blond had in her arsenal. I would actually see her again about a half hour later with two of the guys from her cluster. Although she wasn’t smoking this time, just seeing her soft features and that girl-next-door outfit made me repeat to myself what I said the first time I saw her with a cigarette. She smokes??!?!
The hits just kept right on coming as a late night hunger attack prompted me to buy an order of cheese curds. After scoring a hot blond smoking amidst nonsmoking friends just outside the food building to become Sighting #183, I would walk northward to the end of the block and find Sightings #184 and #185 seated on a bench. They were 18ish girls smoking cigarettes, and for the second time today, they were smoking these cigarettes in the company of a nonsmoking middle-aged guy who I figured right away was one of the girl’s fathers, and got confirmation on that moments later when the girl seated next to him referred to him as “dad”. It’s mind-blowing that in the year 2011 so many teenage girls still smoke publicly with their parents’ permission, especially when the parents themselves are nonsmokers. Of the two ashtray-mouthed girls, the girl on the right dominated my attention. The dark blond seated next to “dad” was only modestly attractive, but the short-haired dark brunette next to her was an absolute knockout, and clearly the most skilled smoker of the two. She attacked her cigarette frequently and fiercely, releasing some nice exhales. I watched from across the street with a pretty good vantage point of the show. It only took about five minutes for that dazzlingly gorgeous brunette to finish her cigarette, which she leaned over to crush out on the outside of the bench and let it lie there. I wanted to ID the butt, but the annoying friend was only halfway through her cigarette and was taking forever with it. I decided to do a quick loop around the block in hopes of seeing more smokers and returned to the scene with perfect timing as the group was just now getting up to leave. I claimed their bench at the exact same time a 30-something couple sat beside me. At the very moment I was leaning over to check out this girl’s cork filter cigarette butt, the guy sitting next to me offered me a cheese curd, which I declined since I had just had an order and definitely not need another one. As soon as the discourse ended, I spooted the girl’s cigarette…another one smoked so close to the filter that I couldn’t identify the label before walking off for the final half hour of the night.
I would have never imagined an hour earlier that I’d be struggling to reach my sightings record in the final half hour of the night, but suddenly the sightings haul was slowing considerably and I was stuck at 185 for a good 20 minutes, which is very unusual at any point after dark. But I would run up the score right before the buzzer and was boogeying to meet the parents at the agreed-upon time after purchasing a 7UP on the other side of the grounds. Beyond the delay in picking up the 7UP, I also got a distraction of the sweetest kind with Sighting #195. The fireworks were underway at about 10:20 which leaves a lot of people distracted and easier than usual to spy upon. This worked to my advantage as I approached a handsome early 20s couple that seemed a bit of a mismatch as the tall guy was about 18 inches taller than his petite short-haired brunette girlfriend in shorts whose head was barely up to his elbow. But what drew me to this girl was the cylinder of darkness between her fingers that I figured was a small cigar. Once again, this did not look like the kind of girl who would be smoking a cigar, particularly as I watched her doe eyes looking straight up to the towering boyfriend the way a little girl would look up to her father. The boyfriend immediately spotted my awkward presence as I stood close to them, just in time for the girl to release a giant cloudy exhale. I walked through it in hopes of being inundated by an offensive assault of foul-smelling cigar smoke…..but I didn’t smell the odor I was looking for. The girl would be thoughtful enough to give me some closure by dropping her dark tobacco unit to the ground still smoldering. The boyfriend once again looked at me awkwardly. It was time for me to split, but not without solving this mystery. Standing literally within arm’s reach of this couple, I knelt down to check out the butt before taking off in a half sprint. Unfortunately for all my troubles this cylinder of smoldering tobacco was not a cigar but one of those “Black” clove cigarettes. I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t a bit of a buzzkill, but any kind of exotic dark brown cigarette sighting from a petite young cutie has to go down as a delicious novelty sighting.
I was now officially late for meeting my parents and knew my phone would soon be buzzing. Luckily, I walked past a few additional smoker girls en route to the agreed-upon meeting spot. Unluckily, three of those girls would be the cluster that included Sightings #200, #201, and #202, a trio of wholesome and gorgeous college-age girls standing outside the beer gardens with freshly lit cigarettes. Two of the girls were knockouts and when I passed them admiring their beautiful faces, jean shorts-draped backsides, and freshly lit all-white cigarettes in their fingers, I felt like keeping the folks waiting just a little bit longer. But I pressed on, met with the folks, and walked with them to the car, spotting one more redheaded hottie smoking with an unattractive friend to become my 203rd and final sighting of the night before we left the grounds.
Again, a very solid day with a pretty steady drumbeat of quality from the early afternoon until evening’s end. There was nothing that truly floored me in epic territory but you can’t count on those kinds of sightings every trip to the fair. If I had a choice between two epic sightings or two dozen blockbusters scattered throughout the day, I think I’d choose the latter. With this week’s 203 sightings combined with last week’s 194-sighting haul, I scored an impressive 397 sightings at this year’s Minnesota State Fair, topping last year’s 329 sightings, although last year I was sidelined for the entire evening on one of the two nights for a Rosanne Cash concert.
Anyway, the 2011 fair season has regrettably come to a close. All good things must end, but in the days ahead when I finally finish getting off on this latest bunch of cuties, it’s gonna hit me just how long I have to wait to get a substantial batch of sightings again.