2011 Local County Fair


I had an extremely tough act to follow at my 2011 local county fair as the 2010 fair was all kinds of spectacular.  I amassed an extremely impressive 144 sightings in 2010 with blockbuster or epic sightings all five nights and saga sightings with very cool storylines.  How did 2011 stack up…..we’ll soon find out….

Tuesday

Great opening night at the county fair by any metric.  The rain in the forecast never materialized and instead the temperature dropped into the high 70s and the humidity declined….and the smokers came out!  Considering the disastrous detours buddy Corey led me on, I had a tremendous haul, yielding 27 sightings on opening night.  What can I say….the local county fair is underway.

I walked into the gates right around 6:00 and felt the usual burst of energy I always do, having parked in my grandma’s vacant garage across the street.  It’s a perfect set-up and right away I walked past the gate and saw a bounty of teen booty in shorts and tanktops.  Yeah baby!   From there I carried forward with my usual ritual and got my gyro for dinner and then walked past the VFW Bingo stand to make sure they still have the ashtrays laid out at every table….but they didn’t this year!   I knew it had to end sooner or later, but I’m amazed it continued into 2010!  That was kind of a bad opening sign and my first 45 minutes of walking the grounds came up empty to, but I’m used to this pattern in the daytime hours at the county fair.  I just have to avoid getting bent out of shape because patience almost always yields something worthwhile.

I was planning to call Corey around 7:15 and meet up for the concert and since it was only 6:45, I thought I still had some time to establish a sightings baseline.  And as I continued to come up dry, I was pondering some things based on past observations.  Girls walking around with no purses and no rectangular-shaped boxed in their jean pockets were almost certainly not smokers, and it seemed as though most had neither purse nor bulge in the back pockets bigger than the shape of a cell phone.  When I did see a girl with a purse, I always thought there was a good chance she was a smoker.  At the very moment I’m thinking this I was walking along the north side of the grounds and taking note of a cluster of four guys and a hot 17ish dark brunette girl in a black shirt and dark jean shorts holding a big stuffed animal that she must have won at the carnival.  I hadn’t really gotten a good look at her face but I got a nonsmoker vibe, and since she wasn’t carrying a purse, that just left the back pocket of her shorts to check out as I walked by to confirm that was indeed not a smoker.  Whoa, wait a minute here…..

A pack of Camel Crushes was poking out of the back pocket of her jean shorts, pressing up against her awesome ass.  Could the face match this body….because if so I had badly miscalculated on this girl.  I looped around the huddle and checked out her face.  The girl had braces on her teeth!  She looked about 17 and was wholesome and cute as a button.  I saw plenty of wholesome girls smoking that night, but this one (had I actually seen her light up) took the cake.  I was prepared to hang tight for awhile in the hopes this cutie would light up….but I was sidetracked by a cowardly attack from the rear.  I looked up and there they were….Corey and his girlfriend….and his girlfriend’s sister….waving my direction.  Perfect!  I walked their way and started chatting.  The upside was we were chatting in close proximity of the cluster, and while I never did get to see her smoking, the guy next to her pulled the pack out of her back pocket and started talking to her about it.  She said something in response that I unfortunately couldn’t hear.

Not long after, I started migrating with Corey and his party and finally then, true to form, I started seeing girls with cigarettes.  Definitely nothing incredible, but it would become another moment where I was screaming inside as Corey et. al. led me directly to….the goat barn!  While there were some hot teen farm girls in jean shorts and tanktops there attending to their livestock, the smoking was going on outside and I was completely hamstrung as we slow-walked through this building.   But it would get worse.  Corey was a 4-Her….and so was his girlfriend.  So they know just about everybody they run into.  At one point we were stuck talking this older guy for about 20 minutes….and all I could do was restlessly eyeball the passersby outdoors wondering what I was missing.  It was too early in the fair season to be sidetracked this badly!

From there we finally went back outside, and the next thing I know we’re standing still by the bathroom structure and I finally had to ask Corey what we were waiting for.  It turns out Sarah’s parents were gonna meet up with us as well.  This was becoming a huge concern, and I needed to take ownership of this situation before it slipped out of my control regarding preferred concert seating.  I told Corey I was gonna grab something to drink and take the seat “we usually sit at” hoping I could dictate the terms where everybody sat.  I did a quick loop around the grounds, bought my Dr. Pepper, and then slinked into my seat overlooking the smoking area outside the grandstand thinking I was clever as hell for steering through the icebergs.

And as I sat there waiting for about 20 minutes, a few sightings took form, both in the beer gardens beyond the fence and in the smoking area just below me.  A cluster of four women of varying degrees of hotness hovered below, and one very modest brunette extracted a pack of Marlboro Reds and lit up.  But there was a slender short-haired dark blond in a tanktop and tight jeans next to her that was digging through an older gal’s purse (possibly the mother of one or more of them).  She couldn’t find what she was looking for, and of course I knew what that was, and ended up taking the purse off of mom’s arm entirely.  Out came a dark green pack of Marlboro Menthols which she proceeded to dangle from her lips momentarily and then light up.  While her technique wasn’t hard core you could tell she was an accomplished smoker, and she was hands down the hottie of this group with a mix of girl-next-door cuteness yet still not being a huge surprise that she was smoking.  As I often do at the county fair, I had a sense of deja vu with this girl, as I had probably seen her walking the grounds, and possibly even smoking, in previous years but couldn’t place her with certitude.  The other two women in the group weren’t smoking, but they stood waiting while cutiepie and the  average brunette enjoyed their cigarettes.  It didn’t hit me until later that the dark blond Marlboro Menthol girl was my fourth sighting of the night.  That represented a milestone since at the end of the 2010 fair season I had accumulated a total of 2,996 lifetime fair sightings in my three prime fair venues.  This girl was my 3,000th career hit, and I’m not even sure Ty Cobb or Pete Rose had already scored 3,000 hits by age 33 as I have done.

In the minutes to come, Corey and his now larger crew were approaching the grandstand.  As he entered, I was holding my breath waiting for him to follow the script and dutifully walk up to where I was sitting, but I could tell by the look in his eyes as he looked my direction that my master plan was about to be crushed.  “We’re gonna sit closer to the middle”, he yelled my direction.  I’m sure the look of defeat overcame my face as I realized I would have to forfeit my seat overlooking the smoking area.  I had half a mind to sit idle and follow Rosa Parks lead, refusing to give up my cherished seat.  But I followed, sitting in the middle of the grandstand far away from the smoking area.  The only upside as I surveyed the landscape from this center-of-the-grandstand wasteland was that a few rows behind us were the group of girls I had just seen smoking a few minutes earlier….and the cute one was clutching that pack of Marlboro Menthols in her hand like a trophy.  Only a few minutes after that, the two smokers walked back down the steps the smoking area, with packs of cigarettes in hand, wandering out of sight.  Was this a bad dream??!

There were a couple other hotties in eyeshot but I was dying inside at this rotten seat.  In the next 15 minutes or so before the concert, I got engaged in conversation with Corey and the girlfriend describing my wild litany of Des Moines dating experiences, which helped keep my mind off of my troubles at least a little bit, but then the concert started.   As the minutes drug on, I continued to watch hot girls drifting towards the exits and it was killing me wondering “Are they going to smoke right below where I WAS sitting?”  It was pure torture.

A lesser degree of torture was that I could still see part of the beer gardens, although from quite a distance away.  Standing near the fence watching the concert was a duo of blonds that were hard to miss.  The glam factor was off the charts even though I wasn’t close enough to see their face.  One was decked out in a white T-shirt and jeans and the other in a green flower-print dress.  They both looked dazzling from afar, and I saw them exit the beer gardens and enter the concert not long after, standing on the outskirts of the grandstand area and moving to the music….but they then drifted off again.  But lo and behold in about five more minutes they were back in the beer gardens.  I couldn’t see much from the distance I was at, but I did see lighters igniting and cigarettes being brought to life in both of their mouths, followed by plumes of exhaled smoke flowing from their faces.  Now I would have been too far away to fully appreciate this even in my old spot, but it was still torture seeing this from afar and not knowing if the girls were worth the hype.

About 45 minutes had passed in the concert, and the two babes sitting behind us strutted out with their packs of cigarettes AGAIN and I just couldn’t take it anymore, and was thinking of excuses of why I could no longer sit with Corey and his group.  It was lame but after the next song finished, I told him that sitting there with no back support was killing my back…so I had to move to the edge of the grandstand to lean on the fence for back support.  I’m thinking he’s figured out I have ulterior motives by now, but he probably hasn’t figured out exactly what they are.

So I drifted off to my favorite spot, scoring a few minor sightings in the smoking area for the remaining half hour of the concert.  And towards the concert’s end, the group of four came out again….with the brunette and the cute dark blond lighting up once again, presumably their fourth cigarettes since the beginning of the concert.

As the concert wrapped up I moved back to Corey and his group, even though I feared they’d want to wander around and cramp my style further after the concert.  To my delight, they called it a night as soon as we left since they both had to work tomorrow morning, so it wasn’t even 10 p.m. and I had the next hour and a half to fetish solo.  There was a bounce in my step as I moved the through the after-concert crowds, already up to 11 sightings which wasn’t bad all things considered.  Almost immediately I saw an attractive college-age Hispanic girl….a girl I would see smoking again about a half hour later.

But the first blockbuster I’d get after the concert came about five minutes later when I spotted a pair of 18-19ish girls I had seen at the concert, albeit not smoking.  One was blond and the other was brunette.  They were both cute, but only the blond was wielding a cigarette.  She was a cutie, quite tall (probably about 5’10” with her long blond hair flowing over her shoulder in a very feminine way.  This look was completed with a black top and jean shorts.  She was a tad chubbier than I’d prefer but very pretty and if I had to venture a guess without knowing I’d have predicted her a nonsmoker.  I followed and watched her take intermittent drags, none of which blew me away, but I was content knowing that she was a smoker….but with almost half of the cigarette left, I saw the girls drifting into one of the commercial exhibit buildings.  I knew the smoker was about to lose the cigarette but my initial doubts about her mediocre style were rebuked in the final seconds before she walked into the building.  She took three back-to-back-to-back drags to finish off the cigarette, and I watched as the smoke flowed from her nose constantly, kind of like a dragon, as she followed through with her supersmoking routine.  She then dropped the cigarette to the ground without crushing it out and then walked into the building with the friend.  I walked up and easily identified the butt as a Marlboro Light Menthol.

Giddy for the first time tonight, I then walked through the midway.  And the moment I had hoped for earlier had arrived.  I saw the two glam blonds who were smoking in the beer gardens….and they lived up to expectations completely!  The girl in the jeans and white T-shirt was an undisputed hottie, but the darker blond in the green flower-print dress was GORGEOUS…hands-down the prettiest girl of the night.  They weren’t smoking, but they were having their fun, getting in line for carnival rides.  They got into the beer gardens which led me to believe they were 21, but if they were, they weren’t more than a couple months removed from that 21st birthday!

I’d hit another homerun drifting towards the fairgrounds’ primary bathroom structure about 10 minutes later.  Walking towards the bathrooms from the midway were two 18ish girls wielding cigarettes.  I could only see them from behind at the beginning and the one girl didn’t look particularly adorable on first glance, but what would ensue would become my second best sighting of the night.  The girl who I wasn’t originally impressed with handed the brunette friend her cigarette and then walked into the bathroom.   This left me to get a close-up of the friend as she stood right outside the cement building.  It was a SECOND wholesome barely-legal brunette wearing braces just this evening!  Just looking at her on first glance, I wouldn’t have expected she’d be more than 16 but when I really looked close she looked a little bit older.  Despite the youthful apperance, this girl could handle a cigarette, as she proved almost immediately after I laid eyes on her when she placed her cigarette in her mouth for an impressive 10-second dangle while texting out a quick message.  The girl knows how to leave a good first impression!  Her drags were steady, only about 15 seconds apart and were deep and intense, with cloudy and accomplished exhalations following.  I was pretending to be waiting on someone and was no more than 10 feet from her, stealing looks constantly.  I had almost forgotten that in her other hand was her friend’s cigarette.  Here was this adorable girl-next-door cutie in braces, either underage or barely legal, standing in front of everybody at the county fair holding a burning cigarette in each hand….

I had seen about six drags while the friend was in the bathroom and was very impressed with this wholesome cutie.  The friend came back out to retrieve her cigarette, and upon closer examination she was reasonably cute too. Definitely a two-for-one sighting here, but the only downside is that as they walked away, cutie somehow managed to lose her cigarette before I caught where it was disposed of, so I didn’t get to see her brand.  Nonetheless, my adrenaline was starting to surge now.

And it would keep surging in the moments ahead as I looped along the north side.  The north side is fairly sparse and in general not very occupied at this time of the evening, but at the same time, its sparseness has been known to work to my advantage as girls can sometimes go here to sneak their smokes.  Well there was no sneaking going on here, but coming around the corner was….the two glam blonds I had first seen smoking in the beer gardens and later saw in the midway up close.  The bad news is the crazy-hot girl in the green flower-print dress was not smoking.  The good news is the other girl was…with a freshly lit all-white in her hands.  Unfortunately, the girls walked past me and had seen me, so given the sparseness of the crowd in this part of the grounds, I couldn’t turn around and follow without getting busted so I could only turn around and watch them walk away.  The giggly girl with the cigarette was following as the girl in the green dress led the way.  “Where the fuck are you taking me?” she jokingly inquired while being led through the farm equipment en route to nowhere in particular.  She drifted out of sight without me seeing a drag, but just seeing a girl this pretty wielding a cigarette was payment enough for me.

A good 15 minutes transpired before my next sighting, but it would be my sighting of the night.  I was navigating through a fairly large crowd around the center of the grounds and looking around for sightings, keeping my nose ready in case I caught a refreshing whiff that would lead me towards what I was looking for.  But like a beacon, I would turn to my left to see her….an absolutely beautiful and wholesome 17-18ish blond in jean shorts and a bright yellow top.  Usually my instincts with smoker girls are good, but here’s yet another girl I would have never believed would be a smoker if I wasn’t witnessing it with my own eyes.  She seemed to be a little self-conscious walking through the fairgrounds by herself smoking her cigarette, and attempted to hide it in her hands at the points she wasn’t consuming the tobacco and cancerous chemicals inside.  But that’s when the sighting took an eventful and adorable turn.  I noticed two females following her, one of whom was a brunette teenage girl and the other was a middle-aged woman, presumably the mother to one or both of them.  But they were following a good five footsteps behind her.  Apparently the stinky girl isn’t allowed to be in immediate proximity with them when she’s spewing her disgusting fumes all over the place.  It was adorable watching this blond beauty so self-consciously weaving through the crowd with that cigarette in her hand, with the rest of her party a few steps behind.  I was following the entire group so as not to get busted so I didn’t get a great look at blondie’s technique, but it was evident she was an accomplished smoker and it was also evident throughout that she was hiding her cigarette, which leads me to believe she’s probably underage.  They arrived at a sidewalk leading to the parking area and the smoker stopped along with the brunette, who still kept a comfortable distance away, apparently too repulsed by blondie’s cigarette to ever get too close.  Meanwhile, mom wandered off somewhere briefly, out of sight for a couple of minutes, most likely to buy one last serving of fair food.  This allowed to me to watch the blond finish her cigarette.  I got a good look at her face and she was every bit the wholesome cutie I first suspected.  She dropped the all-white butt to the ground just before mom returned…and the three finally were able to leave the fairgrounds in joint company now that the stinker in their posse was finished spewing her air pollution.  I walked up and was able to identify her all-white butt as a Camel Light.

The hits kept coming as I walked the edge of the grandstand and spotted a young couple in their mid-20s with two extraneous guys…so three guys a girl.  They all looked wholesome, but none more wholesome than the girl, with a black top, white shorts, and curly light brown hair, with the perfect Midwestern beauty queen face.  Only one of them was smoking a cigarette. Guess who?  I followed the group, again in disbelief that yet another wholesome hottie was smoking, and again amidst a cluster of guys who at least at the time was not smoking.  She knelt down to crush out her cigarette, and then held onto it until the next garbage can where she disposed of it.  I guess for once I found a girl whose behavior matched the wholesomeness of her look, despite the smoking, given that she didn’t carelessly pollute the grounds with her butt.

About 10 minutes later, near the pizza stand, stood a duo of 18-19ish girls, a blond and a brunette and both major league babes.  The brunette was wielding a freshly lit cigarette as they briefly stood there and talked to a couple of the friends.  The long-haired dark brunette had a black top and skin-tight pale blue jeans that perfectly fit her extremely slender form.  I didn’t get a good look at her face early on but figured with a body like that it was hard to go wrong.  The two girls then started walking away and I got to see the smoker take a few drags from behind, frequently admiring that ass in those tight jeans.  And then she proceeded to do something I only saw once before, and that was with an unlit cigarette….she started rummaging her cigarette hand through her long dark hair.  Aside from completely stinking up her hair, I would think she’d be worried about setting her damn hair on fire!  But not this girl…she just kept ruffling her hair with her cigarette literally touching the hair.

The girls then started really boogeying, heading down the midway where they quickly spotted a group of guys, none smoking at least at the time, at a carnival game that they knew.  The smoker shouted the guy’s name and ran up to him and gave him a stinky hug, being careful not to burn him with her cigarette as she wrapped her arms around his neck.  Especially considering what she had just done to her hair, you wonder if this guy was holding his breath while this smelly girl was engulfing herself around him.  And I finally got a good look at her face.  For the first time in quite some time, I was actually looking at a girl who had the look of a smoker and I would have suspected smoked the first time I saw her.  I thought I had time to reposition myself for the rest of the sighting, thinking she’d be chatting with the guys for some time to come.  But by the time I got repositioned, they were gone.  I saw them on the horizon, and as I said, these girls were MOVING.  I had to practically run past all the carnival barkers to catch up, but thankfully she still had her cigarette.  Even after I did catch up, I still had to move fast to keep pace with these two.  Finally at the edge of the midway, the brunette discarded her cigarette, and I had no problem identifying it, which was where the sighting took another surprise turn.  It was a Camel Pink.  I had thought these things were off the market based on every gas station and drug store I’ve visited in the last several months having removed them en masse.  Her was a girl who was so dedicated to her Camel Pinks that she apparently goes to some back alley dealer to resupply her.

From there came my sensory overload moment.  I migrated over to the area outside the beer gardens and saw a duo of cuties sitting at a bench wielding freshly lit cigarettes.  They were probably 20 or 21, both cute with the first being a ponytailed blond in a white top and jean shorts while the friend was a curly-haired light brunette with shredded-up blue jeans.  There was a cluster of nearby benches so I took a seat behind them, spotting the girls respective packs of Camel Menthols behind them on the bench.  It was hard to see the brunette smoke given that I was right behind her but the blond was an adept and addicted smoker.  A bunch of friends approached, all nonsmoking and the girls talked to them while finishing their cigarettes.  And while all this was going on, I spotted that wholesome light brunette 20-something who was earlier with the trio of nonsmoking guys standing outside the beer gardens…smoking another cigarette.  Only this time there were two additional moderately attractive blond gals with her….and they were both smoking too.  The only people not smoking…the guys who weren’t smoking earlier either.  Apparently if you’re a male in my home county, you better get used to being used to girls who constantly reek of smoke.  And still not to be outdone, the two girls I had just raced around the midway following about five minutes earlier had wandered past my row of benches to chat with people inside the beer gardens fence as they were clearly not 21 and not able to get inside themselves.  My back was to the two of them, but as I finally got up to go, I looked back.  Sure enough…the brunette in the tight jeans was smoking another Camel Pink…only a few minutes removed from the last one.  God I love my county fair.

It was around 11 now and I was getting ready to call it a night.  While my county fair is much better for fetishing than Summerfest, after only a couple hours you’ve really explored the grounds in their entirety multiple times…and given that the place is teeming with cops, you start to look just a little too familiar to them around 11:00 when the crowds generally start to thin.  But I wasn’t done yet.  Walking past the bathroom structure one more time, a cluster of five 19-20ish girls stood just outside.  Two of them were smoking.  One was overweight and unattractive…but the other was the hottie of the group, a short-haired light brunette wielding a freshly lit cork filter.  It was crowded in the cluster, but I was able to see her smoke, and she did her best to hold her cigarette away from the crowd and exhale into the sky, but I’m sure she didn’t spare her nonsmoking friends entirely from her stink.  The girls then began moving and I first got to see her from behind, decked out in a green tanktop with nice skin-tight jean shorts wrapped around her bottom….with a smooth pair of stems extending from them that glistened with the flashing carnival lights.  Then I saw her face…another beauty!  Again though, this girl looked like a probable smoker…but that doesn’t mean she was rough around the edges….just not in that crazy wholesome stage that some of the other girls I saw tonight were.  Anyway, she drifted towards a food stand and beckoned her friends that direction, finishing her cigarette and crushing it out a few steps before getting to the vendor. I would have to wait a couple minutes until they left the scene to identify the butt.

I made one final loop around the midway but wasn’t seeing much there, so I zipped right through there and got back to the food vendor stand, which was now empty and I had no problem identifying the cork filter Camel Blue the green tanktop girl had just littered.  Three cops were standing talking nearby and I could tell they made a mental note of me.  Worse yet, one of them is the son of my mom’s coworker so it’s possible he knows who I am.  After all, I know who he is!  So I decided to call it a night.  But not so fast….

On my walk out I spotted a cluster of about six 20-21ish blonds walking the direction I was coming from.  Two of them were wielding cigarettes.  Now one was the blond from the Camel Menthol duo I had seen on the benches not long before…smoking another freshly lit Camel Menthol.  But the other was this absolutely gorgeous blond specimen decked out in a black miniskirt who seemed to be the life of the party, galloping towards her friends with cigarette in hand.  I followed and saw one awesome vantage point of my new favorite blond….a talking exhale to one of her friends.  It was my first full view of her face…one of the most beautiful girls of the night!  Just one problem…as I was positioning myself to watch this cluster, I see three familiar cops looking straight at me.  It was time to go!

So I got cut short a little bit at the end there and given that the cops are already onto me on Tuesday night who knows what kind of trouble I could get into on Wednesday, but I’m off to a rocking start to the 2011 local county fair, with at least one sighting already worthy of my greatest hits blog and several other blockbusters as well.  Buddy Corey should be a nonfactor on Wednesday and Thursday nights as he’s not going to either of those concerts.  And the weather sounds better and better for the rest of the week.

Wednesday

Not as good as last night and suffering from long stretches of mediocrity, but overall not a bad haul for a Wednesday night with 21 sightings.  However, there are a couple repeat sightings of girls who aren’t counted among the 21.  While there were a handful of quality sightings that lifted my spirit, I should also warn there are a few heartbreakers in here….and one in particular that should be prepared for because it could outright crush your soul.

I arrived right around 6 p.m. again Wednesday night and entered the gate.  Right away, the girl checking my season ticket was a blond bombshell of the highest order….in a bright yellow T-shirt with microscopic jean shorts.  Pretty sure she wasn’t even 18 but when she saw I had a season ticket rather than paying with cash, she said “Oh good you’re gonna make this easy for me”.  For the benefit of my own ego, I’ll count that as this babe flirting with me.

As is always the case before dark at the county fair, there wasn’t much going on for smoker sightings, but my second sighting of the early evening greatly impressed and would be one of my favorites of the night.  The absence of ashtrays at the BINGO stand doesn’t necessarily mean addicted smokers are gonna cease and desist from smoking in there.  The logistics of this BINGO pavilion is that there is seating on the perimeter of it (which is for all intents and purposes outdoor seating) but then also seating inside.  Seated on this periphery was a total cutie of an early 20s dark brunette smoking a cigarette.  Immediately catching my eye was her outfit.  She was wearing a zebra-striped tanktop, which sounds sexy but for whatever reason it didn’t ooze sexpot on this girl who definitely did not give off a party girl vibe.  She also wore a pair of gray shorts which also fit her look in a unique way.  She was extremely pretty and right away I felt there was a celebrity who this girl reminded me of, but couldn’t put my figure on who……

Anyway, in close proximity to the young woman were two young kids who looked about four and three that I assumed were hers….but she was also talking to an unattractive middle-aged woman that I assumed to be her mother across the table from her in the “indoor” portion of the BINGO stand.  It took me a moment to realize she was smoking too….inside the BINGO stand where they attempted to hint that smoking was no longer allowed by moving the ashtrays.  No hint would be sufficient for this mother and daughter though.  They’re apparently gonna smoke in the BINGO stand right up until they’re removed by force.  Finding a good vantage point was tough, but I got to see a couple of drags by the hot brunette and could tell she was a very accomplished smoker.  She flung the butt in front of her a few moments later.  Not a bad opening sighting….and I’d see this girl again twice, with her kids, on the midway after the Beach Boys concert.  Neither time was she smoking but one time she was chatting with the female carnie while kids twirled around on the time.  She looked so sexy–but a young mommy kind of sexy–in those gray shorts with the zebra-striped top….and knowing that she was a smoker made her all the more sexy.  I’d get a good look at her face again and could only think of Katy Perry as a lookalike, but then shaking my head realizing it wasn’t her.  However, and I will leave this one hanging in suspense, I would have my epiphany on this girl’s lookalike with a final encounter with her coming up later in the write-up.

The last sighting of consequence before I took my seat for the concert was another young mommy, this one blonde and in her mid-to-late 20s, pushing a stroller and looking very sexy in a white tanktop and jean shorts.  She moved the stroller onto the grass to make a cell phone call.  I walked past her and got to listen to some of her phone conversation, where she fashioned a very husky voice that fit her look.  Only got to see one drag and it was a “distracted while on the phone” kind of drag, but still a needed sighting in those weary early evening hours.

I was then headed to the Beach Boys concert and on the way, I saw Corey in line for fair food with his parents (yes, I know the whole family).  I knew he wasn’t gonna go to the Beach Boys concert so I was safe, but I talked for about 10 minutes while they waited in line before leaving to go into the grandstand to see the concert, at first thinking I was in some trouble.  The grandstand was filling up pretty fast and I couldn’t see immediate access to a seat overlooking the smoking area. Worse yet, about halfway up the seating area was my aunt and uncle, who I most definitely did not want to sit next to.  I ascended the steps but discovered that there was more seating than I had anticipated several rows behind where my aunt and uncle were.  It was up a little further than I usually am, but I still had a good vantage point of the smoking area.  Crisis averted.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t much smoking going on in the smoking area or even the beer gardens.  There was smoking, but by middle-aged men and women who were the demographic attending this Beach Boys concert.  I had expected more young people there as The Beach Boys are kind of timeless in their appeal, and while there were some there, they clearly were not addicted smokers.  A few highlights during the concert though, taken out of order so that I save the lowlights from the concert afterwards….

The 21ish Marlboro Menthol dark blond girl who went out smoking as many as four times the night before was back, and this time decked out in a shoulderless yellow top with a blue bra strap exposed.  I got to see one smoke break during the concert, and then towards the end she left with the rest of her group, Marlboro Menthol pack in hand, and then tossed the pack into a nearby dumpster….but there was a silver lining as she still had one cigarette left in that pack and proceeded to light up as she walked away.

Beyond that, a duo of early 20s girls inside the beer gardens were smoking, one a light brunette who smoked once and a blond who smoked three times.  The girls looked hot in the beer gardens, but it’s after dark and the crowded beer gardens was a fair distance away so I couldn’t really tell.  I’d see the girls up close after the show and the light brunette was reasonably attractive but the blond wasn’t anything to write home about.

Now for the three disappointments.  The first was a mild one.  Cousin Brandy was there, and is now 21 are legal to drink.  I was watching the concert for a bit and then turned to look at the smoking area.  My heart skipped a beat when I saw Brandy and her boyfriend just standing there.  Was she gonna light up?  Were my years of expectations finally about to be confirmed?  Nope.  For whatever reason, they were just standing there when I happened to look but quickly put their feet in motion afterwards.  I saw Brandy and a couple of friends going into the beer gardens not long after.  No cigarettes were smoked.

Now for the second disappointment.  This is more a source of huge frustration because of the uncertainty rather than a disappointment.  But I’m 50-50 that I saw last year’s epic two-night cigarette rapist again….my biggest county fair score of 2010 and my #4 FCF sighting of all-time….only in the dark and not close enough to see her face.  Her routine and the way she carried herself (provided it was her) was very similar to what she did last year.  In this case, she and a friend left the concert, went into the beer gardens, gravitated to the middle of the beer gardens, and wholesome cutie wasted no time opening up her large purse and fishing for a cigarette while balancing an open beer bottle in her hand.  This girl had style, but she was too far away to know if she was devouring the cigarette with the same level of nicotine deprivation that she did the year before.  However, I never really saw exhales….and that was this girl’s modus operandi last year when I saw her closer up….extremely thin exhales as most of the smoke remained stuck in her lung tissue.  All of this led me to believe it was the same girl…and then she and the friend went back into the concert after the one beer and her cigarette, also similar to last year’s pattern.  But as she walked back into the concert and I watched from above, her hair seemed blonder.  Last year, the girl was on the borderline whether you’d call her a dark blond or a light brunette.  This girl was blonder.  Now perhaps she highlighted her hair or simply has gotten more sun this summer and it’s turned blond, but as I watched her reenter that concert, having been convinced it was probably her up to that point, I now had some doubts.  Hopefully one other night this week I’ll get a complete answer….because right now it’s killing me not knowing.

For the soul-crushing news, the cigarette rapist was my #4 county fair sighting of all-time, but I’m 100% confident that I saw the #3 county fair sighting last night as well…..the strawberry blond from 2008.  She couldn’t have been older than 13 at the time, and smoked twice with her family before and after a concert.  I spotted her from above as she entered the grandstand area last night.  She’s far more strawberry than blond now, but she has an unforgettable face and I recognized it the second I spotted it.  It’s not even that she’s that stunningly pretty, she just has a very distinctive wholesome country girl look, and like last time, was tasteful in her choice of attire, decked out in a conservative red top and blue jeans that really fit her look.  Her mom was with again, and I noticed at least a couple from her prior cluster in attendance as well.  I had extended viewings of this cluster before the concert, once right after the concert where she I watched as she went into and then exited a port-a-john, and then saw the cluster FOUR more times on the grounds before the night’s end.  There was only one problem.  She never once smoked a cigarette.  And it was not for lack of opportunity as most in her party lit up on at least two occasions as I walked by….but every time the strawberry blond cutie just stood there with her arms folded.  Now she’s still probably only 16 so it’s possible she was just not smoking publicly, but if that wasn’t a concern when she was 13 why would it be at 16?  My guess is she simply doesn’t smoke anymore.  I guess I just have to be glad I got those wild early teen sightings of her when I did in 2008, but those repeated smoke-free encounters with her over the entire damn night was like a relentless boxer whacking me in the head and knocking me down every time I was just getting up from the last blow.

Just like Tuesday night, things did improve after I left the concert, but not to the extent that it improved the night before!  The Beach Boys were good by the way.  Kind of nice when you know just about every song during the duration of a concert rather than hearing a litany of album cuts and other people’s material as I often do with the newer country singers that perform at my county fair.  Anyway, the midway would bring me the first blockbuster after the concert as I saw an approaching group of four that included one guy and three girls, two of whom were very glammed up.  One gal, a long-haired light brunette was holding an unlit cigarette in her hand.  I quickly turned around and noticed the other pretty girl in the group holding a pack of Newports and putting it back into her purse.  I thought I was gonna get a two-for-one here, but I didn’t.  Apparently the second girl was merely the cigarette carrier because she had the purse…..

Now describing the girls….the one with the pack in her purse was a wholesome light brunette who wouldn’t have had an overt “glam factor” if not for the lavender summer dress she was wearing, which contrasted with the fact that this girl was carrying Newports in her purse.  Now for the smoker….easily the hottie of the group, not to mention the sluttiest dressed, decked out in a multicolored strapless summer dress that basically started by just barely covering her boobs and ended a few inches below her ass crack.  Seems like it’s only been the last couple of summers that I’ve been seeing girls in dresses smoking, but it’s a trend I welcome!  Anyway, she lit up that Newport and walked side by side with the nonsmoking guy, which led me to believe he was the boyfriend.  Looking up close this girl (and the rest of her cluster) was at least 21, and this girl didn’t necessarily have a weathered party girl look, but she did look give off an image of a smoker.  Then again, perhaps my opinion was biased by the fact that she kept inserting that cigarette in her mouth and dragging from it.  And when she exhaled, a burst of creamy Newport smoke always shot out of her face to the point that it was clear her lungs were exhaling it forcefully and she was no amateur.  I followed close behind, walking through a number of her exhales, but my routine was occasionally stymied by their cagey stop-and-go routine once they left the midway.  It got to the point where I couldn’t risk getting spotted and had to abandon ship as they settled into the center of the fairgrounds where the most people are.  I would eventually spot the girl crushing out the cigarette and tossing the butt into the garbage can.  I felt a little cheated on this, but thankfully another opportunity would arise only about 15 minutes later…..

Emerging from that same general heavily trafficked area in the center of the fairgrounds was the same group of four….and I just happened to be there at the same time as the Newport-pack holder was distributing her nicotine-addicted friend her second cigarette of the last 15 minutes, which she would soon light up.  Once again, she was the only one who lit up and I observed from afar for a couple of minutes, once again fascinated that this group of friends has accepted the one stinker in their midst, even to the point where one nonsmoking girl agrees to carry her Newports in her purse all night long….and having to dip into the purse to score her a cigarette whenever the girl has one of her many nic fits.  Great stuff.

Now I was hovering around 15 sightings for quite some time but that same area in the center of the fairgrounds delivered again soon with a cluster of 18-ish teens that featured four girls smoking, but one of whom was too obese and unattractive to count.  None of the other three were worthy of a writeup either, but they were worthy of being in the smoker head count for the night.

But it was the cluster of 19-21s next to them that really tickled my fancy….even though there was only smoker in that group.  But the one smoker just happened to be….the same hottie from the night before with the green tanktop and jean shorts, whose smooth legs I cited as glistening from the glow of the nearby carnival lights.  With more light shining on her head tonight, I determined my calculation from the night before that she was a light brunette was incorrect…she actually had a lot of blond highlights and was far more blond than light brunette.  But hair color aside, she outdid herself in the sexpot department tonight in a white T-shirt and another pair of skimpy jean shorts showing off those killer stems….and a freshly lit cigarette in her left hand.  Damn did I want to have sex with her….

There was no good place to watch but I just had to awkwardly hover nearby to see more of this.  As I said, she was the only smoker in the cluster of two girls and three guys, and she had an impressive technique with deep and clearly satisfying drags, most of which she tilted her head skyward to parse her lips and exhale a burst of smoke into the night sky.  She did that most of the time, but not all. I caught two drags from which she did not raise her head…and proceeded to simply exhale into the midst of her nonsmoking friends’ cluster.  And she may just have gotten her chops busted over that…..because she was proudly holding her pack of Camels up to her face level, nervously bending the flip box open and shut with her fingers.  I saw one of the girls commenting to her on that pack of cigarettes in her hand to which a beaming smile emerged on her face followed by inaudible conversation directed at the cigarette box.  I couldn’t hover in the background any longer but decided to walk past her one more time.  Given the crowd, I was able to get pretty close…close enough to see the cork filter on her Camel along with the blue logo….that same as the girl was smoking the night before.  If ever there was any doubt this was the same girl, that doubt was now gone.  My favorite sighting of the night….

Next came what had the potential to be my favorite sighting of the night but lost a little bit of steam as it proceeded.  Back to the BINGO stand….where in the background I saw a gal taking a cell call with a cigarette in her hand.  But at the exact moment of processing that she wasn’t attractive, I noticed just beyond her a girl with a cigarette who was attractive.  It was an early 20s light brunette in a flower print top sitting on the periphery of the BINGO stand holding a cigarette behind her back.  I saw her chatting with people a few chairs a way and figured she was in a pretty large group.  But here’s the kicker…she wasn’t playing BINGO….she was merely watching along on the BINGO cards of a guy at least three times her age sitting next to her…and he was a nonsmoker.  The girl herself was very cute, as wholesome as they come.  I took a seat on a row of benches behind her and got a front-row seat.  The original downside of the sighting was detected when I noticed she was chubbier than I originally expected seeing her from behind, not disqualifyingly so, but enough to bring her down a peg from my first impression.  And the guy she was hovering over first looked like it was her 90-year-old great-grandfather, but as I got a slightly closer look at him, he looked more like 65-70 and may well have simply been her father, but I’m thinking more grandfather.  Either way, he wasn’t smoking but this stinky girl was leaning right up to him and watching his BINGO cards, proceeding to take intermittent drags and usually turning her head back to release the exhales away from him.  But one accidental exhale didn’t quite make it behind him….at the very least it went into the back of his head, but may have gone straight into his face.  It was a little hard to tell from this vantage point.  Things were going smoothly but the buzzkill came at the end, when she was almost done with her cigarette, she then found some middle-aged dude two persons down from her to hand it too.  I watched him take what I presume had to be a final drag on what little was left of this cigarette.  Still, pretty wild dynamic here, and you have to wonder if old gramps is biting his tongue, trying not to tell his granddaughter who’s “just trying to help” that he really could get along fine without dealing with her foul-smelling ciggy breath in his face all the time.

I was preparing to leave but got one final sighting in a small alley between food vendors.  There was a group of two guys a girl approaching, all sporting cigarettes.  The girl looked hot in silhouette in the dark alley, but I had to hang back to see what she looked like up close…and she was worth the wait.  The guys and the girl quickly proceeded from the alley with smoldering cigarettes between their fingers.  The girl was about 19, petite, and wore a
skimpy white Hooters tanktop and tight skimpy jean shorts.  She also had her light brown hair up in a tight ponytail on the top of her head.  Despite this feminine image, she certainly had the look of a smoker and although I didn’t really get to see any drags, she looked right at home wielding this cigarette.

And all too often, when I’ve already left the fairgrounds and am making the half-block journey back to my grandma’s garage, I get one last treat.  Such was the case tonight, albeit not smoking.  Walking just ahead of me was that hot brunette in the zebra-striped top and gray shorts, my first sighting of consequence today which took place in the BINGO stand, and she had her two young kids holding her hands on both sides of her.  It’s kind of funny that I came to this epiphany of who her face reminded me of right then given that I was staring at her ass in those shorts, but it hit me then and there….Marla Sokoloff.  She was the hot brunette paralegal from “The Practice” about 10 years ago…and she played a naughty little teen smoker who corrupted Jodie Sweetin in the girls’ room on Full House in the early 90s.  Very attractive actress who totally looks like a smoker even though she isn’t.  This girl was the smoker that her Hollywood doppelganger appears not to be.

So again, I ended the night with 21 sightings, which was up from 17 on Wednesday last year (but last year I scored two MONSTERS among those 17 which upstaged anything I got tonight).  Numberwise I’m at 48 combined from Tuesday and Wednesday so as long as the weather holds up and the crowds attend as planned the next three nights, my chances of breaking last year’s record of 144sightings is doable.

Thursday

Well I certainly had my most interesting night so far this year at the local county fair…or any year for that matter.  But as is the case with the old Chinese proverb “May you live in interesting times”, interesting is not necessarily a good thing.  In this case, it comes with potentially long-term consequences….

Leaving everyone hang on that dramatic opening paragraph for a while and getting into the evening’s origin.  Most of the night was off both in terms of the sightings and my overall mindset, which was physically exhausted for the early part of the evening.  I arrived at the fairgrounds around 6:15 and had a decent start, once again going through the gate and being greeted by the hot blond from the night before.  Apparently the yellow shirt she was wearing is standard issue fair attire, but this time she had white shorts with it rather than the jean shorts of the night before.

From there I bought another gyro, ate it, and proceeded through the grounds.  Within just a few minutes I’d get my first sighting of the day.  I found myself walking behind a trio of young bleached blonds, all dressed similarly in black tops and jean shorts.  I couldn’t see their faces, but one girl in particular had a certain glam factor.  Two of the three were pushing strollers.  Now I was only seeing them from the rear and couldn’t see their hands but there was an unmistakable stench of fresh cigarette smoke in the air.  Finally, I spotted a cigarette in the hand of one of the young women.  I hadn’t paid much heed to any of the three except the one in front of me, but suddenly now was getting interested.  The one I saw with the cigarette was overweight…to the point of not even counting as a sighting.  But I moved ahead of them to see more and quickly discovered the other girl was overweight and unattractive.  That just left the one girl in the middle whose ass I was vaguely admiring moments earlier….thankfully she was the one pretty girl of the group…and thankfully she too was smoking.  She looked about mid-20s and had a weathered party girl look, but was nonetheless attractive.  The three of them got in line for pizza and it was awkward for me to find a position to watch, but I pulled it off…and got to see the pretty one take a couple final drags before crushing out the butt under the flip-flop.  As they advanced in line, I walked by and noted from the white butt and green print that it was a Marlboro Light Menthol…and so was the friend who dropped hers nearby.

And only a couple of minutes later, I scored another decent sighting of a young mother.  Not a bad start after only a short time there.  But things were about to slow WAY down.  I wandered around for about an hour and a half sightingless….and the minutes seemed to plod on agonizingly.  I felt drained, and couldn’t understand why.  I didn’t get a lot of sleep on Tuesday night, but made up for it the following night and was well rested.  Still, I was absolutely dragging, and the complete dearth of sightings wasn’t making things easier for me.  I resigned to the fact that things were dead and went up to a mostly empty grandstand, still 45 minutes before Larry Gatlin and the Gatlin Brothers took the stage.  The good news is I had no problem scoring my seat overlooking the smoking area outside the grandstand….the bad news is the only people who smoked there guys over age 50, which was the primary demographic at this concert.

I expected it to be bad, but considering George Jones was here last year and there were surprising numbers of young people there, I was hoping tonight would be similar.  No such luck.  The only people under 50 there were young kids who had clearly been drug there by their parents.  Even the beer gardens was largely dead, and I found myself close to nodding off sitting there by myself.  I did piece together a few minor beer gardens sightings and “barely qualifying” young mommies walking by, but had a mere six sightings by the time the concert started.  I stuck around for about 45 minutes of the concert.  I must say Gatlin has a sense of humor and had a few funny things to say, but the music wasn’t cutting it for me.  I like most older country music, but nothing the Gatlins sang ever really did it for me.  I figured this would be the quietest night of the week even outside the grandstand area, but around 9:20 decided I would give it a search.  This would be the best and worst decision I ever made at the county fair….

It was another 15 minutes or so that I finally scored the next sighting, but it was a HUGE one.  A light brunette in a black tanktop and blue jean shorts that I had seen a couple other times on the grounds was conspicuously walking from the livestock buildings to a dark seating area for a 4-H food booth that had already closed for the night.  It’s a very isolated area and I suspected she was up to no good.  I hadn’t gotten a really good look at her but from what I had seen she was a very beautiful young lady who looked about somewhere in the 19-21 range, but the way she carried herself made me wonder if she was an actual adult or if she wasn’t quite there yet. Sure enough….there were two glimmers of light in the moments after she sat down in that dark area.  The first was her cell phone…and the second was her lighter bringing to life a cigarette.  Now I had a problem because I wanted to see this but had no good vantage point.  The best I could do was stand there looking at my phone and pretending to text message.  There were a couple of cops nearby and this couldn’t have been more awkward…but I had to see more….

Standing there, I got to see her smoke most of the cigarette, and even though it was dark, I could see that cherry glow bright orange when she took a drag, and a few seconds later, even in silhouette she evoked a look of pure pleasure on her face as she tilted her head up to the air, persed her lips and exhaled her smoke into the night sky as if blowing smoke rings.  Sitting there attending to both her phone call and her cigarette, she was literally swinging her bare legs back and forth while seated on that elevated bench.  Everything about the way this girl carried herself screamed 16-year-old girl, but that face….she just looked older than that!  And another of the cutest parts of this sighting was that further down the bench from her in this dark mini-alley was a cluster of teenage boys, none of whom were smoking.  They weren’t right next to her by any stretch, but I still had to wonder if the girl’s secondhand smoke was drifting their way over time.

I had been standing watch for too long and made the calculated decision to sit around the corner, hoping when she got up I’d get a close look at her face.  First the teenage boys moved…and about a minute later the girl got up and started heading back into the livestock building.  I got a look at that face and still thought “20”, but then I watched her walk again.  Her adorable bubble butt was wiggling as she slowly strutted forward, and it was at that point I watched the blue and white pack of Marlboro Smooths in her hand approach her right asscheek…and she slowly stuffed the pack in that back pocket, which took a couple moments since the jean shorts were so tight.  Watching her walk away, I was again struck by the fact that this girl looked so much older than the way she carried herself.  I watched her strut through the cattle barn all by herself and decided it was time for me to follow…..

I followed from the rear as she exited the cattle building and walked outside in between all the livestock buildings….and I just couldn’t get over how adorable her image was….that skimpy black tanktop revealing her bra straps…and that adorable ass continuing to wiggle as she pressed forward.  I was pressing closer when she caught me completely off-guard and did a 180-degree pivot, suddenly heading my direction again.  My first thought…busted….she’s gonna see me and wonder why I’m following her.  But instead, she just smiled and kept moving, giving me one last look at that face. Pretty as it was, I still walked away thinking the face was too mature for the 16-year-old that everything else about her routine (including sneaking a cigarette between buildings) suggested.  I was riding high walking away from my first blockbuster of the night, but it wouldn’t last long as the moment I knew would inevitably happen finally did…and went as badly as I always feared it would….

I weaved through the farm equipment to get back to a more major part of the grounds…and from out of nowhere emerged two cops who walked right up to me and said, “Sir would you come with us, please!”  I feigned surprise, but knew the borrowed time I was living on had finally run out.  I was rattled and can’t remember exactly how the conversation went, but there was one older cop (in his 50s) and another one who looked younger than me, thankfully not the cop who’s the son of my mom’s friend at work who didn’t appear to be working that night.  The older cop said “we’ve noticed you walking around as if you’re lost tonight and we saw you doing the same thing last night.  Are you
looking for somebody?”  To this I just explained in as calm and disarming of manner as possible that I’m just perusing the grounds after the concert checking out the fair.  This is what cops do….and they obviously knew I was up to no good….and pressed forward…..

Things got worse as he asked where I was from….and I said I’m visiting for fair week but live near Des Moines.  Alarm bells were clearly going off all over despite my best attempts to portray myself as just a guy minding my own business.  Again, he mentioned how he found it odd “the way I walk around” and wanted to make sure I wasn’t someone who was lost….”because we’ve had that before”.  Then he asked for my driver’s license.  This was getting serious.  The younger cop was talking to me while the older one was following through on a search, reading off my information over the phone.  As anybody would be, I was rattled….but my conversation with the younger cop helped my cause as I established my parents live 10 miles north of the fair and we discovered we had mutual acquaintance with some old neighbor kids I rode the bus with in high school but haven’t seen for many years.  And as this lighthearted conversation unfolded, the other cop continued to search my information.  I knew this day was coming at this venue, which I’ve been saying for years is my most dangerous fetish venue given the size of the grounds, the sheer volume of omnipresent cops, and the fact that I still know all kinds of people around here.  It seems unlikely this would get back to anybody I know, but it’s a small town and anything is possible.

The older cop gave me back my license and I continued to smooth-talk myself into seeming harmless.  Clearly they still know something’s not right with me, but I had them convinced I’m a local, normal dude…and with luck they’ll see me in the company of buddies tomorrow and Saturday and it will further diminish my undeniable “creeper” factor.  Suddenly, being in the company of Corey and his girlfriend (and his brother on Saturday) will work to my advantage even though sightings in their presence aren’t the same as the solo ones.  The good news is the grounds for the Minnesota State Fair and Iowa State Fair are so much bigger and so much easier to blend it at because of it that such an incident at either of them is almost impossible to foresee.  The bad news is my county fair is permanently stained as a fetish venue.  I’ll continue to go there and continue to casually fetish, but clearly my current compulsive fetishing there will have to be scaled back to reduce my exposure.  Not a good development, but one that was predictable.  I always figured I’d either be confronted by the cops or confronted by one of the smoker girls I’m stalking (or worse yet…her boyfriend/husband/father), and it’s pretty amazing I’ve gone all these years without a single confrontation until tonight….

Now a normal person who had this kind of a wake-up call would scurry on out of that fairgrounds with his tail between his legs as quickly as possible, but if there’s one thing we know about me, it’s that I’m not a normal person.  It wasn’t even 10:00 yet….and I only had seven sightings….and I’d never break my record if I left this early….and I think I had already cleared myself with the police even though they’ll be extra suspicious of me now.  Yes, the rationalizations were that bad….and I proved my smoking fetish is every bit as addictive/compulsive of a condition as alcoholism or gambling addiction as I pressed forward, telling myself “just one more loop and then I better quit pushing my luck”.  But that “one more loop” never satisfied me….and the fact that I was getting NO sightings on this dead night at the fair managed to only raise my resolve.  It would take another half hour of pushing my luck in the way I said I wouldn’t but my patience would pay off in a big way.

Near the bathroom structure was a group of five girls who I quickly surveyed and discerned there were some major league hotties in the group.  And then my eyes spotted a single cigarette in the hands of one.  Unfortunately, she was the chubbiest and least attractive of the group…but I just had a feeling there was more tobacco to be smoked among this group and followed.  I continued to survey the faces and found it an eclectic-looking mix of party girls and wholesome girls who didn’t even seem to be the same age.  The five of them then settled in front of the cheese curds stand, including the smoker who hung back.  I was about to write this sighting off, thinking the four nonsmokers were gonna buy food and walk away, but just when I did out came a pack of Marlboro Menthols from the purse of the cutest girl in the cluster…and we’re talking wholesome beyond belief….quite possibly the most wholesome-looking smoker I’ve seen yet at the county fair with curly long blond hair, an angellic face, a fluffy white tanktop and very nice fitting white shorts.  What a contrast…this virginal appearing cutie dressed in white….yet extracting a full-flavor cigarette from her pack and lighting up right there leaning up against a food stand.  Once again my first impression was that she was 16.  She just looked so incredibly innocent.  And then as I walked past, I noticed another girl in the group taking out her own pack of Marlboro Lights….and this girl was a bleach blond who was the most glamorous girl of the bunch.  Suffice it to say I’m glad I went with my original instinct with this duo as now the most glamorous and the most adorable of these five were both smoking cigarettes.

And the logistics worked to my favor almost perfectly.  The group of five broke apart, with the three smokers heading over to a bench outside the beer gardens.  As she walked over, the youngest looking and most adorable girl took a nice drag and I watched the wild contrast of cigarette smoke pouring out of this most precious young face….and admired that body draped in white.  I was lucky enough to find a nearby bench to watch this, more paranoid than ever about cops nearby ready to rain on my parade.  The only downside was the cutest girl had her back to me, but the other two sat across the table in my line of view.  The glamorous blond was directly in my line of vision, and she too was wearing white shorts.  This was truly a special sighting unfolding.  The cute one was thoughtful enough to turn her head so I could watch a few of her drags.  She was no beginner, but also not a master smoker.  Still, what a breathtaking sight to see her take a nice long drag on
her cigarette, with the glow of the cherry illuminating her angelic features and matching white clothing.  But it was mostly the glamorous girl I got to see whose smoking style was similar….not extreme, but accomplished and beautiful.  And as I watched I observed how different these three really were.  The chubbier girl looked like she was about 26…the glam girl about 20…and the cutie about 16.  I’m still not convinced that the age separation isn’t for real.  Perhaps some are sisters and friends of sisters.  There was simply no way the youngest-looking one was the same age as that chubby girl, and the fact that they never went into the beer gardens only further suggests at least one of them was not 21.

And speaking of the beer gardens, a bunch of younger-looking gals who looked hot from a distance all spilled outside and, one by one, lit up.  Once again, I had an outstanding vantage point in this seating area watching six girls smoking in two different directions.  The smokers in front of me were wrapping up their cigarettes.  The cute girl dropped hers below the table and crushed it out with her shoe…but the glam girl just carelessly tossed her still-smoldering Marlboro Light butt to the side, only seconds before both girls adorably got out some kind of lip balm from their purses.  The girls weren’t going anywhere and some guy they clearly knew sat next to them to chat, so I decided it was time to take a closer look at the three girls who had just lit up outside the beer gardens.  They proved to be a disappointment.  They were good-looking enough to qualify, but not nearly as good-looking up close as they were from a distance.  It wasn’t a hard decision to head back to the Big Three on the benches to wait them out, but fate had a different destiny for me….

As I passed the same damn cheese curds stand where two of the Big Three had surprised me not even 15 minutes earlier, I took note of another trio standing in front of the stand.  This epic blond hottie who I had taken casual note of earlier in the night was standing there reaching into her purse.  She was this classic beauty blond with shoulder-length light blond hair and a hyperglam look, accentuated by a form-fitting white and black striped miniskirt that managed to stand out even amongst this crowd for its over-the-top sex appeal.  Nonetheless, it wasn’t the face of a smoker, and having just seen the last girls with their lip balm I figured she was about to insert that onto her mouth….but I’ll be damned if I wasn’t shocked to my core when it was an all-white cigarette which she proceeded to quickly light up.  And at that point it hit me….this was the same crazy hot blond in the black miniskirt from Tuesday night whose sighting had been cut off that night.  Holy shit!  Was this really happening?

While there was no “good” vantage point to get an upclose sighting, I managed to find a bench that served as a median between black-and-white skirt girl and the Big Three….and sure enough, I hadn’t left them alone for three minutes and the Big Three were all smoking another round of cigarettes.  This would only last a few minutes though as miniskirt girl and her group of nonsmoking girls all walked just a brief distance away, but far enough to be out of sight.  I had a decision to make, but it was an easy one since I had already seen the Big Three smoke cigarettes…and I wanted a full sighting of this spectacular blond specimen in the miniskirt.  It was awkward, but I sat at the edge of the BINGO stand’s seating area and had a decent front-row seat….and no sooner did I sit down than blondie placed that all-white in her mouth and let it dangle.  It was only about 10 seconds while she was texting, but seeing a cigarette dangling from a face this precious was something I never thought I’d see.  The girl looked about 15 but judging from the company she kept who all looked a little older she was probably 18.  And she had style too, dragging hard and exhaling cloudy plumes of smoke which she wasn’t paying particularly close attention to where they went even amidst her nonsmoking cluster.  There was just one problem.  She was a sloooooow smoker who went two minutes between drags…..and it was killing me as my vantage point was frequently obstructed.  Don’t get me wrong…it was still worth it when I saw one of her great drags and subsequent exhales, but I just wish she attended to her cigarette more closely.  Rather amazing that this angelic face belonged to the only smoker who ever came in contact with her, and while the friends group seemed relatively wholesome too, it was still wild that this girl was the smoker of the group.

At this point, I noticed the Big Three had gotten up and were walking away.  I got one last look at that crazy wholesome blond in her white shorts and melted once again…and then realized this was my chance.  I scooted over to their bench and below where the cutie’s feet had been were two cork filters that I quickly identified as Marlboro Menthols, her confirmed brand.  From there, two Marlboro Light butts from the glam girl had been flung in the opposite direction, only a few inches apart and while no longer smoldering, had clearly very recently been smoked.  They were obviously hers.  So that’s right….four cigarette butts from two amazing girls of the Big Three.

But I still had one bit of unfinished business and walked back towards the black and white miniskirt girl.  She STILL had the smoldering cigarette in her hand and was just as inattentive to it as before.  I was really flying close to the sun here given the trouble I had gotten earlier but did some random loop-walking…the kind that is most obviously questionable…but I wanted to wrap this one up.  Eventually, I’d see the girl towards the middle of the grounds, finally absent the cigarette.  My only hope was to walk where she had been and see if there was a still-smoldering all-white laying on the pavement.  There was not.  It was a little frustrating that I didn’t get to see what her brand was.  Still, what an amazing turn of events in the final hour to salvage a below-average evening.

I padded my numbers with one more jaunt around the midway at just around 11:00, scoring three more modest sightings that were nowhere near up to the crazy standards I had just set.  And for those keeping score at home, you’re reading right….more than an hour had passed since I’d been busted by the cops for creeperism and I was still fetishing.  But it was definitely time to get lost.  A late 20s brunette gal in a girlish white dress was walking into the grounds with her husband as I exited, giving me 19 sightings for the evening, my lowest total of the three nights but still pretty impressive considering what I went through and that I only had seven sightings at the time of the bust.

Whew!  What a roller coaster ride.  I’m very glad my final half hour went so exceptionally, and I scored three blockbuster/borderline epic sightings on the evening.  Again, I could very well have rendered my county fair a second-tier venue from this point forward as I clearly have to alter my ways a little bit at this point, but it’s gonna be incredibly hard not to continue doing as I’m doing if I have the luck I did late this evening.
Friday

Just like last night, tonight got off to a very mundane start and stayed in the doldrums for hours.  The skies were looking threatening when I got there around 6:45, and I was wondering if it was gonna be a short night.  Thankfully the rain held off entirely through the Joe Nichols concert and we only had a light mist through after 10….not enough to scare me off the grounds.  And the cops left me alone, which at this point passes for a good night at the fair.

For nearly an hour, I encircled the grounds, picking up only a couple sightings and just like I do at least once every year, ran into Ryan, the wingman at Cousin Jamie’s wedding, about an hour before the concert began. I talked with him a little while before we both headed off towards the concert.  He was meeting people and I had to secure my sweet seat overlooking the smoking area.  Corey called and said he was coming with the girlfriend and her family, but this time they could either sit by me or go without the benefit of my company.  Just before the concert started, there was a lot of open space next to me and they came up and sat by me.  Everything was as it should be again….

Only one problem…for the fourth evening this year, the smoking area was not delivering.  For the last two years, this spot has yielded dozens of fantastic sightings, but this year only a couple.  It seems like most smokers were men and the females fit one of three categories…overweight, ugly, or middle-aged.  Through the fence of the beer gardens I was slowly piecing together a few modest sightings amongst the large crowds there.  One amusing part during the concert….Joe Nichols has a song called “She Only Smokes When She Drinks” and as he started singing it he invited the crowd to hold up their lighters or their cell phones.  I scanned the crowd to see if I could find any hot females holding up lighters rather than cell phones.

I managed to see the miniskirt girl at the show and two more times tonight as well.  Once again, she had a white and black top and…..a flower-printed multicolor miniskirt.  It must be all she wears…at least in the summer.  I never saw her smoke tonight, but after two awesome performances in the past three nights, her lungs deserve a rest.

There was an adorable 18ish brunette in jean shorts with a rockin’ body who was hanging out with a couple guys smoking in the smoking area for much of the concert.  The first sighting of consequence I would get for the evening came in the last half hour of the concert when another duo of 18ish brunette girls came to the scene to join this cluster, entering in most dramatic fashion with one girl in jean shorts riding piggyback on another girl in jeans.  All wore black tops.  After the piggyback ride, the girls began talking to the guy and the other girl in their company, when finally the girl who was giving the piggyback pulled out a cigarette from her purse.  As she was lighting it, the friend in jean shorts who had just ridden her back took the cigarette out of her mouth scoldingly/jokingly, but then handed it back to her and the girl lit up.  This led me to believe that only the girl in jeans was gonna smoke.  The downside was of this trio of girls, the girls in jeans was the least cute.  Don’t me wrong…she was attractive, but didn’t have the more wholesome features of the other two.  At this point, they got crazy, dancing with each other and drawing attention to themselves among passersby while the one girl held her cigarette as high as possible to avoid burning anyone.  It was all a pretty nice show, but only halfway through the cigarette she surrendered it to one of the guys, which is always a buzzkill for me. The show was winding down and if this was the best the smoking area could deliver for me this year, I was gonna be very disappointed.

But those last 15 minutes of the concert ignited the spark that would help me get through the rest of the night.  I saw a familiar image exiting the concert and this time I was at an angle where I could confirm what I thought I was looking at on Wednesday night was indeed what I saw.  And this time I saw her face.  It was the 2010 cigarette rapist.  She had the blonder hair which threw me off because it was more of a light brunette last year, and she wore a black sleeveless top similar to the one she wore last year with jeans, a conservative outfit for a girl generally satisfied with a conservative image.  The hair was up and I must say it takes something away from her.  Both nights last year she wore it down and she looked like an absolute angel.  Wearing it up, she didn’t stand out in the crowd….still pretty but in a more generic way.  Let not your heart be troubled though because she would certainly stand out in the crowd in other ways….

I watched her migrate towards the beer gardens entrance with another girl and the mom, who was also there with her one night last year.  I figured I’d lose them in this big crowd, but was at this point just happy that I confirmed it was her, carrying that big old purse over her shoulder just like Wednesday night and both nights last year.  As she drifted that direction, a duo of babes caught my eye lingering outside the beer gardens’ main entrance.  Even from a considerable distance I was impressed with both girls wearing black tops, but one decked in very snug white shorts and the other in flashy pink shorts.  They were too far away to really appreciate, but I took a mental note and as you may expect, this duo will reemerge later.

Joe Nichols was just starting to sing his final song and biggest hit as I resigned myself to the fact that the beer gardens and smoking area were pretty much gonna be a bust tonight….but that’s when the threesome came out the beer garden’s south side gate nearest me….the threesome that included the cigarette rapist.  No standing in the busy crowd this time….they were front and center and I had a front row seat.  Just as I noticed her spilling onto the grass with her mom and friend, holding a beer in one hand, I noticed the other hand was doing what this girl does best….fishing through her purse for her lighter so she could fire up the cigarette that was already between her fingers.  As much as I love this girl, I get the feeling she’s not too bright or she’d have figured out a better way to carry her lighter than in this giant purse.

She finally found it and fired up.  The rapist was back….and let me tell you I was about to flag down that cop that hassled me the night before and report this girl as a cigarette sex offender!  Her drags were still intense and long and also came quite frequently, always about 20 seconds or so apart.  But most impressive about this girl were the hold times.  She was routinely immersed in conversation after a drag, sometimes leaning into her mom to say something or listen to something that was hard to hear over the loud music, and would pull away like eight seconds after dragging….and THEN exhale her smoke.  I swear there were times when 10 seconds would pass before that smoke finally spilled out of her black lungs.  But just as impressive was that it continued to be hard to even see her exhales.  Many long-time heavy smokers seem to exhale pretty thin streams rather than huge clouds, typically because cigarette smoking has become part of their regular breathing routine, but this girl’s exhales were thin to point of almost being invisible.  My guess is 80% of the smoke stays in those lungs of hers, which have to be a highway tar pitch of black, despite her youth.  I swear this girl must have a giant spittoon next to her bed because she probably has to cough up a gallon of tar every morning the way she smokes.

Nichols was just wrapping up the song when she dropped her cigarette to the grass and crushed it out.  I was sure the smoke show was over, although naturally the thought did cross my mind that this shameless addict would fire up another one before we were able to leave the show.  Me and the crowd I sat with hung back a bit waiting for the place to filter out, and not one minute after my stray “wouldn’t it be great…” thought, I looked to my left and saw my filthy rapist with another unlit cigarette dangling from her lips while she rummaged through her bag for her lighter once again.  Not only is she a rapist…she’s a serial rapist.  I would say that’s punishable by the death penalty but the way this girl smokes the cigarettes will finish her off long before she makes it to the electric chair.  My group was getting up and leaving, but suffice it to say I had some exciting final moments of observation as we walked away, watching this girl rape her second cigarette in just the last five minutes inside that fence.  A night that barely had a pulse was now throbbing as if it had just run a marathon.

We exited the grandstand just after 10 and indecision about what to do next amongst my crowd once again kept up standing still.  Corey said he had to go to the bathroom while the others were heading to the cattle barn.  Oh joy!  Still, I needed to be seen with others tonight to get the cops’ scent off, so I had no choice but to follow this group around for a while.  But just as we were finalizing discussions on this topic, two familiar faces and bodies emerged…..those glam girls with the black tops, one with white shorts and one with pink…..and the girl in pink shorts had a clearly visible pack of Parliaments in her hand. Suddenly, I told Corey I was gonna “wander around a bit and then meet them in the cattle barn”.  He seemed a little befuddled about this logic, but I couldn’t care less as I had business to attend to.

Now I shouldn’t hype this sighting too much because, unfortunately, the Parliament girl never did light up, but I counted her since she was flaunting this pack around so unashamedly.  The girls were heading for the beer gardens, and both looked right about 21 from a distance.  Naturally my focus was on the girl holding the cigarettes, but then the two separated with the blond in the white shorts turning to go into the beer gardens, saying something to the other girl that I couldn’t hear, and revealing her face.  I knew this girl!!!  There were two teenage sisters that went to my mom’s church regularly when I attended frequently from about 2000-2007.  The oldest was named Miranda and the youngest was Molly, and suffice it to say their presence was about my only motivation to go to church.  Of all the girls I’ve ever seen in my life, these two had perhaps the most perfect Barbie doll figures, with slender stick-figure bodies and giant C or D cup tits up top.  And Molly the younger girl in particular was so top-heavy that I have no idea how she even stood upright without capsizing.  And Molly was the girl in front of my face, still sporting that insanely hot figure, but with blond hair rather than the brunette I remembered.  I wouldn’t see her smoke, but I remembered that Miranda became a smoker after high school based on what I saw on her old Myspace page, so I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Molly smoked too, particularly since she keeps the company of a girl holding a pack of Parliaments in her hand.

So anyway, Molly went inside the beer gardens but the other girl kept walking…and walking…and walking….towards the damn exit!  I kept following thinking it would be a good time for her to smoke a cigarette, but she exited the fair gates and I turned around.  Taking it out of sequence, this girl would show up again about an hour later, standing in those pink shorts outside the beer gardens, this time with a boyfriend, and taking a cell call.  She started migrating to the other side of the beer gardens, and some other guy who clearly knew the girl and her boyfriend heckled the guy about the hot girl he got to walk around with, and they all pressed onto the outdoor fence of the beer gardens….where Molly was waiting on the inside in her tight white shorts.  My only guess is that Molly is 21 but the girl in the pink shorts isn’t, and that’s why she never went inside.  Bizarre dynamic, and I would have killed to have seen either of these girls smoke, but I look at it this way…..it gives me a chance to complete the storyline tomorrow with an epic sighting of both of them puffing away.

Back to the point where I retreated from the girl in pink shorts after she left the fairgrounds…..I would then go to the damned cattle barn where Corey and his group were waiting, all huddled together talking with yet another couple that somebody or another knew.  These people have a decidedly different opinion of what fair fun is than I do!  I was at least able to talk to Corey for a while as this mindless group conversation unfolded, but then looked outside and noticed rain was coming down fairly steadily.  Great!  Just great!  Now the cattle barn was one of the best places on the fairgrounds because it was at least dry!  Thankfully after about five minutes the rain settled to a trickle and would stay that way for my final 45 minutes on the grounds.  The cop who hassled me the night before was sitting on a bench across from this building and I made sure he saw me talking to Corey, so everything kind of worked out.  And as soon as that rain slowed to a few sprinkles, I bailed and began fetishing the grounds solo again, despite continued paranoia about all these cops.

I had only nine sightings on the night at this point so I had a lot of work to do, and even though the rain wasn’t particularly strong, it was nonetheless thinning down the crowd some.  I scored a bunch of marginal sightings tonight, some barely above the threshold of counting in the tally.  And I also had plenty that weren’t quite good enough to count. It was starting to look like it was gonna be yet another night of fewer sightings than the previous night, and right after my 12th sighting of the evening, I ran into another of my cousins and her husband.  We chatted for about 10 minutes, and I was obviously scanning the surrounding crowds to see if I was missing anything.  Thankfully I didn’t miss what was next as I looked straight into a foursome of college age girls where the stand-out-in-the-crowd face was a glamorous long-haired bleach blond who was inserting a cigarette into her mouth and lighting up.  Next to her was a brunette who was extracting a cigarette from an unidentifiable pack herself.  I have never withdrawn myself from a conversation as quickly as I did with my cousin tonight.

After basically walking away from my cousin and her husband midsentence, I had to finnagle my way through a small crowd to catch up with my new favorite foursome.  Once again, first catching my eye was the bleach blond who I was only able to see from behind as she exhaled a couple of drags, but the girls would soon settle into a cluster in the most opportune spot right in front of this burm that I’ve used many times before to sit and watch a sighting.  I had the most incredible front-row seat for my only blockbuster of the night that didn’t involve the cigarette rapist holdover from the year before.

I finally got a good look at the blond, who was pretty but stood out in the crowd of beauties mostly because of that flashy long blond hair.  But the sighting was about to take a turn for the better when she handed the cigarette to the girl next to her, a girl I hadn’t even really noticed in the group up to that point since she wasn’t in possession of a cigarette.  But now she was possessing a cigarette and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.  It was a “curvy” light brunette with curly hair, a flattering white top, and a pair of black shorts. Now “curvy” is often a euphemism for overweight, but in this girl’s case, curvy has nothing but good connotations.  She’ll most likely struggle with her weight after she has kids, but for now the ample breasts stretching out that white top and especially the buxom caboose draped in those sexy black shorts were just screaming to be caressed.  But more than anything else, this girl’s best feature was her absolutely beautiful face.  She looked like Cindy Crawford’s daughter with a certain exotic look with very tanned features.  Even before observing the first drag, I wanted to have sex with this girl….

But then she took her first drag and I wanted to have sex with her more.  I must confess when I first saw this foursome I was thinking “social smokers”…and considering the blond surrendered the cigarette and never got it back after about three drags she probably was.  But curvy girl was very evidently no social smoker as evidenced by the frequency and intensity of her drags….and most adorably, her messy exhales which were basically belched out of her mouth and nose straight into the huddle…and she made absolutely no attempt to protect anybody from her secondhand smoke.  All of her exhales were like this, and I even caught one talking exhale, always with smoke sloppily spilling from her face and drifting wherever it happened to drift.  What a sexpot!

And amidst all this I had almost forgotten that there was another smoker in this group, a hot slender brunette in jeans who lit up right away with the bleach blond girl.  Now she was smoking her cigarette more slowly and wasn’t really cutting it for me since she was in the presence of greatness with this curvy girl on the black shorts.  The curvy girl finally dropped her cigarette to the wet pavement and stepped on it, allowing me to focus a little more on this long-haired dark brunette who was still wielding a cigarette.  She had failed to make an impression so far but she definitely made up for it with a  DOUBLE dangling drag, followed by an exhalation of smoke right over the head of the only nonsmoker in the group, who looked like she was probably part Asian.  It wasn’t a skybound exhale….it literally sailed directly over the other girl’s head, whether by accident or by design.

Thankfully the girls pressed forward from there and I was able to easily spot the shared cigarette that was mostly consumed by that epic curvy girl in the black shorts.  It was a Camel Crush.  I attempted to catch up with the foursome to identify the other brunette’s cigarette brand as well but by the time I found them her cigarette was gone.  Not long after I’d see these girls in line for the beer gardens.  I would have guessed them 19 or 20 but wasn’t surprised that they were just over the threshold and 21 years old.

That group was definitely my last highlight of the night. I did come across two underage girls sitting in a dark seating area and both smoking, but both had a certain edgy look to them.  One of them was cute, but not cute enough to warrant a writeup of significance.  Most of the rest of what I saw at and after the 11:00 hour was merely average and helped me pad my numbers.

I ended the night with 22 sightings, once again saved in the final hour of the night after an abysmal beginning.  I can’t say I’ve had a bad night at the fair with some impressive stuff all four nights now.  Hopefully the momentum carries into Saturday, and if I have any hope of breaking last year’s record of 144 county fair sightings, tomorrow needs to be huge.  I have a combined 89 sightings thus far, compared to 92 after four nights last year.  Now that doesn’t seem insurmountable, but keep in mind last year on Saturday I had an unprecedented, record-shattering 52-sighting night that will be very hard to replicate.  Most important is that the weather holds up tomorrow, because if it’s a mess, so will be my night of sightings.

Saturday

Well the 2011 local county fair has come to a close.  I went there at 3:30 this afternoon as planned to meet up with friends and things generally went as planned, as I hung with the crowd for about four hours and then ditched them for a solo evening of fetishing.  I scored 36 sightings today and tonight, which is my biggest numerical haul this year but overall I’d say in a year where no night was without stunners, this was perhaps the least memorable.  Don’t get me wrong…there’s some great stuff here along with a few repeaters but I think opening night on Tuesday ended up being my best night…words I never thought I’d say.  The 36-sighting haul doesn’t compare to last year’s 52-sighting haul on Saturday night, meaning I ended the 2011 county fair with 125 sightings, the same number I got in 2009, but far from last year’s haul of 144.  Obviously you always go in with a goal of beating the prior record, but realistically 2010 was the kind of year where everything came together perfectly and is unlikely to be repeated.  And overall it did seem like smoking was down among the preferred demographic…and most infuriatingly tonight I saw all kinds of guys smoking in the presence of hot girls who were not, something I’m not used to at my county fair which has always seemed to have a female smoking gap.

Anyway, the Saturday sightings rolled in slowly as I was joined at the hip with my friends and effectively standing around the same spot for more than two hours.  Finally as the clock approached 6:00, the group moved around some and my second sighting of the day (first of significance) unfolded.  This tiny little thing in a yellow shirt and capris, standing with a cute teenage girl and a guy, extracted a pack of Marlboro Menthols from her purse and sparked up.  I was hoping the blond with her would light up too but she didn’t appear to touch the stuff.  Now this girl, who looked about 15, smoked Marlboro Menthols and had a reddish tint to her ponytailed hair, but it didn’t take me long to realize this was the same tiny girl who I spotted smoking the Saturday night last year in the company of fetish buddy Dan, a girl we both agreed was 13.  She’s so petite it may skew the perspective a tad, but there is no way this girl is older than 15.  Anyway, she was brunette last year and smoked Newports, but there was no question it was the same girl.  I didn’t get to see much of her performance as I was tagging along with the group, but the couple drags I did see helped me realize she won’t be quitting any time soon.

Less than 20 minutes later, after eating our dinner, my group was migrating towards the livestock barns (again!) and who is walking by but the tiny teen smoker girl with another smoldering Marlboro Menthol between her fingers.  She still has a pointy beak of a nose that takes her out of contention for beauty queen prize, but she’s a cute girl nonetheless.  Unfortunately, the cuter jean-shorted blond with her wasn’t smoking this time either.  I wouldn’t see her again tonight but felt pretty lucky to see her smoking twice this year even under such challenging fetish circumstances.

Both of the cops that questioned me on Thursday night saw me with my large cluster of friends today, which hopefully diffused their suspicions enough to let me get away with more hard-core fetishing next year, although they’ll have probably forgotten all about me by then.

We watched a semi-interesting tiger show at 7:00, but as I kept looking over to the grandstand and seeing teen hotties with smokin’ bodies draped in tanktops and shorts, I was itching to get away from the crowd and ultimately did.  Having stood in the sun for a few hours, I was pretty exhausted and was happy to take a seat overlooking the grandstand smoking area right around 7:40, but before I did I just had to take a couple of loops around the grounds to see if anything was shaking…and as it turns out something was….

Near the beer gardens I saw a mother and daughter standing facing each other.  Immediately I got a smoking vibe but could only see the mother’s face as the daughter’s back was to me.  This girl was almost as petite as the teen Marlboro Menthol smoker, wearing a gray sleeveless top and tight black shorts, looking very sexy from the rear.  I passed the duo and saw two things….a cute girl that had something of a studious look going on with her glasses, definitely not what I expected, and not really fitting with her pretty face making it an interesting contrast.  But the more important thing I noticed when I looked over my shoulder was a pack of Newports in her hand.  Starting to look like Newports are catching on a little bit here in the Upper Midwest after being a minor player for most of my life.  Anyway, the girl then proceeded down the main stretch of the fairgrounds clutching some cash and a pack of Newports.  She didn’t seem to be going any obvious direction so I abandoned ship…but circled around to the original sight by the beer gardens not long after and there she was again, still with mom and still clutching the cigarette pack….

Mom was hanging out with a guy outside the beer gardens and getting ready to go in, apparently handing daughter a little more money.  She was now in the company of another girl and a guy, and just before they proceeded off, the guy with mom said “Now she’s ready to go!”  Those were pretty amusing words coming from a guy observing a likely underage girl (I’d guess she was 17) clutching a pack of Newports.  The group walked off but since I didn’t expect she’d light up right away I drifted off.  That turned out to be a good idea because just a few minutes later I was walking through the grandstand and had my third incidental crossing of paths with this girl in the past 10 minutes (hard to miss her in that sexy outfit)….and this time she did have a cigarette in her hand, the only one of the three smoking in fact.

This gave me the burst of energy I needed to stroll up to the grandstand to take my seat for the Finger Eleven concert.  I could tell early on that last year’s Hinder concert success story was not gonna be repeated as the grandstand was only partially full in the half hour leading up to the show.  But worse yet, the smoking area wouldn’t deliver either.  Last year I probably scored 25 sightings in an hourlong span overlooking that smoking area before and during the Hinder concert…and about 10 of those 25 sightings were INCREDIBLY hot girls.  This year….nothing.  There were tons of guys.  There were quite a few women who were either middle-aged or overweight, or both.  But only a few times during the hour and a half I was there was an attractive young woman out smoking.  And worse yet, there were so many teases where crazy hot girls left the grandstand and were standing still in the smoking area, sometimes even digging through their purses….and you’d think “this is it”.  But they always drifted away without lighting up.  Clearly, the smoking area by the grandstand has been this year’s biggest disappointment.  I’ve been sitting in this area almost every night for the past three county fairs.  Not every night in 2009 and 2010 did the area deliver, but usually three nights out of the five some of my best sightings were in this area.  In 2011, only one or two of the sightings that will be among this year’s top 20 came from this area.

The beer gardens across the fence were slightly more productive, both tonight and in the years leading up, but it’s so hard to see inside that fence, especially after dark, that unless a girl is standing right there across the fence like the cigarette rapist was last night, I’m not gonna see enough of it to count it as an epic.  The beer gardens was productive tonight in producing my only sighting this year of a girl I saw endlessly last year…and always smoking…..a dark complected cutie who I originally thought was part Latino, but now believe she’s just a dark-complected white girl.  I saw her smoking like nine times on four different nights last year, but this year just once as she and a group of friends spilled out into the open area closest to me.  She was the only one of the group who lit up, and she was still as hot and addicted of a smoker as ever.

I left the show about halfway through.  The band was better than Hinder last year, but it’s still not my kind of music and since the smoking area wasn’t delivering, it was time to explore the grounds.  I would soon find my may onto the midway and once again spotted that petite brunette in the gray sleeveless top and black shorts with the bookworm-ish glasses, hanging out with her two teen friends…and once again smoking.  Great stuff that this cute girl is so open and public with her smoking, even with the obvious approval of mom.

I strung together a few minor sightings in the next half hour or so before I was roaming the isolated north side of the grounds near the livestock buildings, at just the right time it turns out.  A duo of 19-20ish girls was walking in from the parking lot, one blond and one brunette, and both long-haired hotties and both decked out in tight blue jeans.  I could see from a distance the brunette had a cigarette.  Now these girls were both hot.  I’d take the opportunity to go out with either one of them….but they weren’t the classic beauties that some of the girls I’d seen earlier in the week were.  I’d rate them as 8.5’s out of 10 on the hottie meter.  I followed and even though I wasn’t able to see direct drags walking behind her, it was clear she was an awesome smoker, with jets of smoke flowing downward from her face as she exhaled.  I got to see about four of these drags and kept following, but she turned a corner to go into the grandstand concert and the cigarette was no longer in her hand when I caught up.  I looked over the ground she had just covered and still didn’t see it, which struck me as odd.  They went into the Finger Eleven concert and wouldn’t be seen again, but she was still one of my better sightings of the night.

Not long after a trio of 18ish hotties emerged from the grandstand to the middle part of the grounds, with the girls glammed up in summer dresses.  One girl in a grayish flower print dress had a cigarette in her hands.  She had shoulder-length light brown hair and unfortunately the positioning was such that I didn’t get to see much of her smoking.  But I did see her face and it was only in the average-to-slightly-above territory.  She would’ve been a welcome relief in those bleak hours sitting up in the grandstand, but I wasn’t gonna lose any sleep for missing most of the sighting.

As the concert concluded, I took a seat on a bench outside the grandstand and waited for the crowd to filter out, hoping to see a flurry of cigarettes getting lit.  None really did among the desired demographic, but one thing I did get to see was the cigarette rapist coming out of the concert and again heading for the beer gardens.  Annoyingly, she still had her hair up which obstructs her beauty, but I was positioning closer to her than I’ve ever been before and was finally able to see her up close as she walked by.  Definitely a cutie. Unfortunately, she went into the beer gardens and wasn’t to be seen again.

My moment of the night came shortly after.  I had seen the trio of girls that included my uber-glam 17ish blond who always wears miniskirts hovering at the edge of the concert briefly….only tonight she wasn’t wearing a miniskirt!  Frankly I’m glad she shook things up because tonight she was wearing a white top and skin-tight black shorts.  They weren’t denim….just regular cotton shorts that allowed me to admire that first-rate ass in a way I didn’t with the miniskirt.  Even better on her front, the tightness of the shorts exposed the perfect creases outlining her adorable vagina in a perfect little feminine triangle.  Much as I wanted to have sex with this girl before, I was even more fascinated with her tonight.  Now I saw her three times Friday night and she wasn’t smoking, but not long after the show I was walking through the main block of the fairgrounds–the same areas I saw her smoking two nights before–with her same group of girls and once again the only girl in the group with a cigarette….in this case a freshly lit one.  Her usual shtick continued to aggravate, going lengthy expanses between drags that sometimes drug on for more than a minute, but when she did take a drag it was pure bliss, especially when she carelessly exhaled.  The first exhale I saw from her on this crowded street sent a snootful of exhaled smoke right into the faces of two people walking by.  They didn’t seem to respond, but I get the feeling they were silently annoyed….

Also annoying was this group’s stop-and-go routine, the most annoying thing smoker girls can do in the eyes of a stalking fetisher trying to keep up, especially when said stalking fetisher is already under the watchful eye of a fairgrounds full of cops.  It didn’t help that she saw me in close proximity at least twice.  I was really flying close to the sun here as I followed her and her group–once again SLOWLY–into the midway.  It would ultimately work out however as the group came to a stop towards the back of the midway and there was an open bench.  I was still in risky territory observing from this bench, but by now there were five girls in the group and blondie, far and away the most beautiful girl of the bunch, continued her intermittent dragging, usually turning her head to exhale but not always.  I had been sitting there looking her way for about three minutes and was starting to get nervous I’d be spotted, but that’s when the sighting hit its high point.  The brunette next to her, about the same age and cute but paling in comparison to blondie’s beauty, muttered something and the next thing I know blondie is handing her the cigarette.  The brunette took a single drag and handed it back to blondie, who then polished it off with a final deep drag before dropping it to the dirt and gingerly crushing it out with her flip-flop.  I had always assumed she was the only smoker in her cluster of friends, but now I found out that’s not necessarily the case.  An even yummier scenario was that the brunette just wanted to try a puff and see if she liked it and blondie was the corrupter.  Delicious…and they soon walked away allowing me to move forward and FINALLY identify one of her butts.  It was a light blue-print filter Camel….which I believe is a Camel Light.  This made me a little nervous that I was looking at the wrong butt since on Thursday night when I saw her light up it looked like Marlboro’s stripe pattern near the filter.

From there I would loop around the rest of the midway, where the girl and her crew were standing there.  No cigarettes at this time, but something almost as good.  This girl who is usually decked out in miniskirts must have been feeling a slight bit of discomfort in those ultratight shorts as when I walked by she was grabbing the shorts by the asscrack and undoing her own wedgie.  Adorable stuff….I just hope next time she calls on me to remove the shorts and underwear from her asscrack.

I wouldn’t top this but heading north from there I would see a duo of early-to-mid 20-somethings smoking, one who was overweight and unattractive, but the other looking like the older sister of the Newport girl I had seen smoking twice earlier.  Seriously….same petite frame….same studious glasses…same general facial pattern…only looking about five years older.  And interestingly, she had a black top and gray shorts, the inverse of the younger Newport girl.  Less than 10 minutes later, I’d see this girl again standing in a group of three, all smoking again.  She must be a pretty heavy smoker, just like the possible younger sister.

Then came my bad timing heartbreaker of the night.  A group of three young couples, who looked at or near 21, was walking in front of me.  The hottest girl of the bunch was a knockout blond in a black top and tight white shorts.  The second I came upon her she was looking at something in her purse when one of the guys said “She only has one left!”.  Naturally I thought this was cigarette talk and I turned my head her way to see what I sure thought was an open pack of Marlboro Reds that she was checking out to see how many cigarettes she had left….but then a flurry of people walked in between me and her, and by the time the crowd cleared out about 10 seconds later, whatever she was holding was back in her purse and the group was pressing forward.  I tried to keep tabs on this girl for the next 45 minutes or so that I was at the fair, but never did see her smoking.  She would have been neck-and-neck with the glam blond as prettiest girl of the night if she had lit up, but since I don’t know for sure that it was a pack of Reds in her hand, I can’t even count is as a sighting.  Very frustrating.

One more impressive sighting as I walked down that main stretch as a group of college-age girls stood in a cluster.  I could see smoke floating around and knew at least one of them was smoking.  There was a convenient bench wide open that I sat in just as I noticed this 19ish brunette decked out in a relatively conservative T-shirt and jeans, who had either been drinking or is just naturally exhausting with her jubilance, had a cigarette in her hand.  Just as I observed this, the brunette then pointed to one friend who apparently doesn’t know the other and said “I want to introduce you to (didn’t catch the name) she is my best friend in the world!”  The other girls were not smoking but as they exchanged greetings nobody seemed put off by the brunette smoking in such close proximity.  I’m sure they’re used to it by now.  She started talking about her freshman roommate at college so I was under the impression that the girl had just finished her freshman year of school and was back home visiting the fair, introducing new friends to old.  She wasn’t a stand-out-in-the-crowd beauty, but she was definitely attractive and the kind of girl that gives you a tingle up your spine to know she’s taken up smoking.  Other people immersed themselves in this cluster, all nonsmokers, and the smoker engaged in not one but two stinky group hugs, seeming fairly reckless with her cigarette all things considered.  You gotta figure the friends were holding their breath as they were engulfed by this stinker.

And then in the final five minutes, I got one last treat and a final confirmation.  Back at their usual location on the main block of the fairgrounds was the group of 17ish hotties that included the blond in black shorts.  It had only been about 20 minutes since I had last seen her but she already had another cigarette lit, leaving my cigarette count for this girl this year at four.  She might be a slow smoker, but she also seems to be a pretty heavy smoker.  I wouldn’t doubt if she smokes a pack a day based on the frequency in which I saw her.  The sighting was a double-edged sword because the same cop that busted me Thursday night was walking near me as I passed by….but the most-likely underage blond was exhaling a stream of smoke right past him as he walked by, luckily for her without comment or even observation.  And I was close enough to see the light blue print on her cigarette and knew it was a Camel Light, meaning I had spotted the right cigarette in the midway earlier.

Anyway, it was after 11 and time to call it a night.  I was exhausted after this long day, most of which was spent standing in the sun talking to the old buddies, and as I finish writing this at 1 p.m. the next day still feel a little feverish and drained.  Hopefully I recover in six short days in time for the Iowa State Fair.

It’s hard to argue with the sightings I got at this year’s county fair.  Although I’m not sure any in my top-10 FCF sightings will be disrupted, I’ll leave some time to process this before doing any reorganization as sometimes my thoughts on sightings change as a little time passes.  Still the sheer volume of hot sightings and the fact that there was something truly delicious all five nights rates this as my third best FCF of all-time, better than the awesome 2009, but not quite as incredible as 2005 or the crazy good 2010, which I knew going in was gonna be hard to top.

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