My full day at the 2010 Minnesota State Fair can be divided almost perfectly into two. The daytime hours were pretty bland. The nighttime hours were pretty incredible. I’m of two minds on this pattern even though it plays out this way pretty consistently. On one hand you can see more in the daytime hours which makes them preferable in a way. On the other hand, you need that burst of excitement in the evening hours to keep you pressing on as foot pain and exhaustion tends to set in. In the case of last night, I was literally running around the grounds in the evening hours as if it was still 10 a.m. without a hint of exhaustion. Once again, I broke the all-time one-day sightings record (I’ve broke this record for five years in a row now). Last year, I scored 206 sightings. This year, I narrowly edged that out with 212 sightings. But even that 212 number undersells the bounty of those evening hours. I had two lengthy detours in the evening, one in particular that proved unproductive but presented the opportunity for a would-be once-in-a-lifetime sighting that could possibly have supplanted my all-time #1 if it had a happier ending. My detour on this sighting was about a half hour long, and I’m guessing I could have scored 250 sightings if not 275 yesterday had I dedicated that half hour in the mid-evening to actual smoker sightings. Do I regret it? Somewhat, but when you see the “great white whale” you really do have to follow, and as you’ll see when I do the writeup, just seeing what I saw without the context of smoking will provide me months worth of fantasies….
Anyway, the day started early as my parents have this obsession with getting there as early as possible, even though it serves little use for me as there are few sightings in the morning and my feet tend to get unbearably sore in the productive evening hours if I’ve been walking since 9 a.m. And in this case, my parents got there even earlier than that…around 8:15 a.m. I actually stayed in the car about a half hour, particularly since it was a brutally cold morning….around 45 degrees. It was supposed to be sunny and warm up to the upper 60s but that seemed like a long way off at 8:15 a.m. as I nervously watched female fairgoers spilling into the grounds in hoodies and jeans rather than tanktops and shorts. Surprisingly, this would be less of a problem than expected as the day went on and far more girls were decked out like they were last Monday when it was 90 degrees at the fair.
So I entered the grounds at about 8:45 hoping to catch grandstand worker cuties out for a final cigarette before the grandstand opened at 9 a.m. After taking my usual methodical route upon entering the grandstand and coming up empty on sightings, I actually took in a couple of non-fetish-related activities like riding the Space Tower overlooking the grounds to help save my feet for the evening. After that, it was off to fetishing, and I thought the north side loop was as good as place as any. It was clearly gonna be another slow morning, which hasn’t always been the case but has been recently. Finally at the final block on the far northern edge of the fairgrounds, I would start my day in style with Sighting #1, an attractive long-haired brunette decked out in a “September in Minnesota”-style combination of a black sweatshirt, jeans, and a pair of badass-looking sunglasses. She looked about 18 or 19, was notably attractive, and was walking northward by herself with an all-white in her hand. I followed and watched her take the final few drags from the cigarette before crushing it out beneath her shoe (…a Marlboro Light) and pressing forward to the absolute edge of the fairgrounds and beyond. As she briefly bantered with a fair worker at the gate and then pressed on even further into the north side parking lot, I recognized that she was a fair worker herself directing cars in the parking lot. One sighting in, and interestingly the furthest north sighting I’ve ever scored on the Minnesota State Fairgrounds. Also, just a heads-up that we haven’t seen the last of this girl.
As has become routine, the morning pressed on slowly and frustratingly with sightings few and far between, but somewhere during the 10 a.m. hour I would score my best sighting for hours to come with Sighting #6. Walking towards the grandstand on the west side of the grounds I saw the face of an angel….an adorable 17-18ish blonde with shoulder-length hair, wearing a pink tanktop and light blue jeans. She was holding something in each hand. In her right hand was a mostly smoked cork-filter cigarette…and in her left hand was, I kid you not, a red balloon on a string. WTF??!?! As I turned around to follow this girl after passing her, I found myself briefly tangled up with her balloon in my face. Now at first I suspected this girl was walking the grounds by herself, and it was only afterward that I realized there were two nonsmoking guys walking behind her, apparently trying to keep a distance between themselves and her smoky stench. The guys looked a little older, around 21, and led me to wonder if she was older than she looked too, but I just can’t see this girl being 21. Whatever the case, I followed the group, and was impressed by not only her technique, cloudy exhales included, but also how she seemed to be smoking this cigarette as close to the filter as possible. She would eventually drop the cigarette to the pavement. It was smoked so close to the filter that I could barely see a trace of the “M” above the cork filter, which of course assured me that it was a Marlboro red. It would take quite a while to improve upon this sighting.
Sadly, I was distracted for these morning hours. I officially got the “let’s just be friends” line from Sherri on Friday night and was turning that over and over in my head for hours, disgusted at how things fell apart so badly after our strong start. And with morning sightings so few, I had plenty of time to let it consume me. But there would be brief interesting detours such as Sighting #9, an attractive 21ish brunette in a cluster of nonsmoking gals who was polishing off an all-white as she approached the grandstand entrance. She was very pretty and had a mane of long dark hair flowing down her back with an attractive white top with some flower print on it. Unfortunately, I only got to see the last couple drags. The butt stuck to her shoe and as she walked forward it flew off her shoe and dropped somewhere out of sight.
The hours dragged along into the early afternoon and I decided it was time for my first run through the midway. Most daytime midway runs are either unproductive or only modestly so, but I got the first taste of a sighting that would play out more impressively later in the day with Sighting #15. There was an overweight middle-aged woman who almost certainly was the mother of three 18-22ish dark brunette daughters who all looked way too much alike to have just been friends rather than sisters. None of the three girls were bona fide beauties but we all attractive enough to notice as they sat together huddled on a bench. One of the three girls, who looked 19-20 extracted a pack of Marlboro Menthols from her purse and lit herself up right in the middle of the cluster. I kind of got off thinking she might have been the only smoker in the family exposing her family directly to her stench, but I’ll elaborate on this context later when I saw them again.
Not long after would be my last truly impressive sighting for hours, and it was a bit of a double-bang sighting. I’ve mentioned the area around that radio station that broadcasts live several times as it’s been the source of some crazy hot sightings over the years. Well it would again with Sighting #18. The station was doing some live little comedy routine and there was a big huddle of people clustered together watching the show, but for some strange reason there was a little bit of a dead zone towards the back of the cluster as I approached and I wondered why there was an open space right in the middle of a cluster of people. It turns out because there was a cute 20-21ish stinky girl spewing fumes in close proximity and you gotta figure people were trying to get away from her..lol. Actually, she stood a few feet in front of this family with what appeared to be three daughters and I wondered if she was part of that family because she kind of looked like them. I would later discover she wasn’t, but I was in awe watching her in this crowd, wearing a fairly skimpy tanktop and light blue jeans smoking her brains out and laughing off and on at the goings-on on the radio station’s stage. She occasionally raised her cigarette in the air to try to avoid the mass volume of people coming and going…and she would occasionally direct her impressively cloudy exhales skyward. But by and large she couldn’t care less what those around her in this fairly tight cluster thought of her smoking and the most adorable part of the sighting were the exhales that she didn’t direct skyward. In those cases, she exhaled straight in front of her…right into the cluster of people standing not three feet in front of her. I watched as this one poor bastard found himself with a waft of exhaled cigarette smoking flowing over his shoulder and into his personal space on three different occasions, which he was undoubtedly choking on. This girl was my best sighting of the daytime hours and easily the most inconsiderate cutie of the day. She would eventually crush out the cigarette butt and press forward.
And while this was transpiring, there was also the usual lineup of people seated on the curb on the adjacent block, another area that is often a haven for smokers relaxing for a smoke break. And such was the case yesterday with Sighting #19, a very attractive and wholesome-looking long-haired dark brunette smoking with her boyfriend. For a few moments, I was darting my eyes back and forth from her to the Sighting #18 girl. This girl didn’t have anything special to her technique, but she was a hot smoker nonetheless and I watched her crush out her out cigarette against the pavement of the curb she was sitting at. In moments, she and the boyfriend got up to leave and I had little problem spotting her discarded butt, a Marlboro #27. And by the time I got back, the crowd had cleared out some near the radio station and I was able to identify the butt from the last girl. It was another of the many Camel brands.
Soon after, I’d head in the direction of the food building where I would see Sightings #22 and #23, two 19-20ish cuties sharing a cigarette. The girls were probably 7 out of 10 hotness-wise, with long brown hair with significant blonde streaks, but still caught my eye as they stood off to the side of the building near a large tree passing the cigarette back and off and producing some impressively cloudy exhales. They spotted me watching so I had to skidaddle.
The crowd yesterday was outrageous. By and large, I prefer a big crowd. The more people, the more girls smoking, but there gets to be a point of diminishing returns where the crowd is so dense that you can’t see very far as you’re swarmed in a sea of humanity. Those afternoon hours were like that and as a result drove me to the sparser north side more regularly than usual just to break away from the dense crowds, even though even the north side was pretty packed yesterday. On the second north side run, I would get no additional sightings to add to my total, but as I alluded to before, I did get to see Sighting #1 girl again. This time she was walking southward, in possession of another cigarette. She still had the long brown hair flowing over her shoulders. She still had the badass sunglasses. And she still had the black sweatshirt. Only she had ditched her morning blue jeans for a pair of very sexy light blue cutoffs full of holes and frays. I turned around as she passed me and watched that ass wiggle. She was a woman on a mission walking quickly and dragging copiously from her cigarette, exhaling with reckless abandon and not caring who might be stuck in her crosshairs. She alone made that second north side run worthwhile.
Unfortunately, it was that point in the day where hours and hours and hours of mediocrity set in. The numbers of accumulating sightings were about normal, but the girls were far from memorable and the crowd was suffocatingly huge. I remember you said you might not have the patience for my all-day fair sightings extravaganzas, and if you had an experience like I had yesterday afternoon I suspect that would validate your argument. On the upside, the weather turned out to be perfect. It was cool (below 70) but still sunny, meaning I wasn’t sweating like a hog and constantly thirsty, yet significant numbers of girls were still decked out in skimpy and revealing attire. Still, the lack of quality sightings was becoming frustrating, and even though I counted her, Sighting #41 was indicative of my meager luck. Seated on the same curb near the radio station where I saw Sighting #19 with her boyfriend a few hours earlier was a family with three girls, perhaps including one daughter and some of her friends. Whatever the case, as I’m walking past, I see a cute 16-17ish brunette in the family with just a slight alternative edge to her with something green and rectangular in her hand. My first instinct was that it was a cell phone, but upon closer inspection I discovered it was a pack of Newports. Unfortunately, she must have just smoked one because she was in the process of standing up and then, adorably, stuffing that pack of Newports into the back pocket of her jeans and pressing forward with the family. I had to settle for something less than a complete sighting from what would have been one of my only underage girls of the day.
I would get another underage or barely legal girl with Sighting #46 about 15 minutes later. Seating in the same general cement structure outside the grandstand where I saw our favorite triple-play girl on Monday was a group of four teens, including two very thuggish-looking Mexican guys with two white girls. The modestly cute blonde was smoking, but the cuter light brunette next to her wasn’t. I would have preferred it been the other way around of course, but at that point in the day, I had to savor what I was getting.
I made another full loop around the grounds scoring little of significance before I returned to that same spot to find Sighting #54, a knockout early 20s blonde in a little black dress. She was very attractive and smoking a freshly lit all-white, seated next to an overweight blonde who also smoking but not attractive enough for me to count. I did a very quick loop around this cement structure expecting her to still be there, but by now two other modestly attractive blondes joined the mix, one of which lit up a fresh one and becoming Sighting #55. I didn’t want to wait for this cluster to clear out, so I simply watched the pretty girl in the black dress finish off her cigarette before pressing on. Definitely the most attractive smoker I’d seen in several hours at that point.
Again, the crowd was really becoming oppressive which led me to make an unprecedented third north side run just to get away from it. There were literally times where the main portions of the grounds were so packed you stood there unable to move for several moments. Even portions of the north side were packed but it was nonetheless a relief from the craziness on the main part of the grounds. Whatever the case, the north side would produce my most unusual and hilarious sighting of the day with Sighting #56. A mother sat on the bench with two daughters/friends, who looked 17 or 18. Both girls, one blonde and one brunette, had a slightly alternative look but were decently cute. The brunette was the only one smoking and in the last couple drags of her cigarette. Normally this sighting wouldn’t have warranted a write-up, or at best a brief mention, but in this case what the girl and mother did next was almost scary. The girl stubbed out her cigarette…and then held out the butt to hand to the mother. Mom then proceeded to, and I couldn’t make this up, pull out a Ziploc bag from her purse that was full of several cork filter cigarette butts that the three of them had undoubtedly already smoked during the day, or perhaps that the daughter had smoked all by herself! I watched from across the street as mom dropped the latest butt into the bag, and then as she put it back in her purse, she looks to the brunette daughter and waves her hand in front of her nose to indicate how much the bag full of cigarette butts stinks. Seems like every time you think you’ve run into every conceivable smoking fetish sighting scenario, something new like this pops out of the blue.
On the final end of the north side loop, I would score a satisfying snap sighting of Sighting #59, a cute dark brunette with short hair walking next to a nonsmoking boyfriend as she puffed away on a freshly lit cigarette. Despite having just a smidgeon of an alternative look, she wore this puffy black skirt that went about down to her knees and really feminized her.
It was now approaching the 5:00 hour when sightings start to pick up and they once again did yesterday. It’s really amazing how the patterns of just about every day at the fair seem to hold consistent year after year. In this case, I was again near the grandstand area where I run into a familiar family, the mother with the three 18-22 brunette daughters who I saw in the midway earlier with only one of the daughters smoking. This time, they were all just standing there in an awkward spot that led me to believe tobacco might be about to be consumed. Sure enough, the same girl who smoked earlier pulled out her purse and extracted the pack of Marlboro Menthols, firing up the second cigarette I had seen from her that day. The whole family had the look of smokers so I was a little surprised as though the one daughter seemed to be the only smoker of the bunch. But time would prove she wasn’t as another of the girls pulled out her own pack of Marlboro Menthols and became Sighting #64. And I gotta say she upstaged the sister with monstrously cloudy exhales and at one point when putting her cigarettes and lighter back into her purse, an exciting 15-second lit dangle out of the side of her mouth. Both girls were very adept and well-practiced smokers with serious addictions. I’m guessing that neither the mother nor the other sister smoke or you’d think they’d have lit up by that point, but I gotta hand it to mom for raising such unapologetically addicted daughters.
I was catching up pretty quickly at this point as the sightings were coming fast and furious in the coming hour. The best sighting in hours came near the beer gardens with Sightings #79 and #80. As I’m approaching the area, I see an absolutely stunning blonde beauty in a gray tanktop and blue denim capris who looked about 19 and was wielding a freshly lit all-white. She was in the company of two friends, both attractive and one of whom was just lighting up herself, but I was focused like a laser on this blonde. The girls stood by themselves chatting and singing along to the song performed by the band inside the beer gardens which for some reason I can’t remember even though it was a recognizable classic rock song. The girl’s style wasn’t memorable, but she still handled herself well with a cigarette, at one point engaging in a talking exhale and at another point inadvertantly exhaling into the nonsmoking friend’s face. I got to watch the duration of this sighting which mostly occurred right in front of the beer gardens which struck me as a little odd because there was zero chance this girl was 21 and able to buy beer. I got my answer, however, when a cluster of dudes stepped out of the beer gardens and met up with the girls. The guys were apparently of age and didn’t seem to be buying for their stinky girlfriends as they pressed ahead. It was brutal trying to follow mobile smokers in the crowd because the crowd was so dense, but I was determined to get that butt. Thankfully, cutie cooperated beautifully by dropping it to the pavement and not even bothering to crush it out. I had to come to a dead stop and crush out the cherry of the cigarette before identifying it as a Marlboro Light. I felt like I was finally starting to get my mojo after this one.
The sightings continued to come fast and furious as they always do during the 6:00 hour, although I continued to be disappointed by the marginal quality and lack of sightings that jumped out and grabbed me. I hit the 100-sighting mark at about 6:15 and made a midway run around 6:30. A saw a few 18-21ish cuties of decent attractiveness but another disappointment in that the cutest girl on the midway run, a light 17ish brunette who would be the kinda/sorta Sighting #107, had a pack of Camel Lights poking out of the front pocket of her jeans but never lit up.
I always meet the folks at 7:00 but had about 10 minutes left for sightings near the grandstand after completing the midway run. As always, the area delivered, this time with Sighting #115, a 21ish dark brunette beauty wearing a black top that could have have almost passed for a mini-dress as it dropped below her pantline towards her knees, and a pair of capris underneath. She was the only smoker amongst a cluster of three friends, smoking her cigarette as the friends gravitated towards the grandstand. There was a line outside at one of the fair stands, and Little Miss Stink walked right through the line, cigarette in hand, took a final drag, and then dropped it to the pavement before entering the grandstand. It was another Marlboro #27.
Only moments later, still in the same area, was Sighting #116. From a distance I saw from behind an obviously young early 20s light brunette with a cigarette in her hand. From behind I saw a young guy, almost definitely a boyfriend, approaching quietly with obvious naughty intentions. He bends down and grabs her tan-shorts draped ass, which obviously caught her attention, before the two begin talking. I walked up to get a closer look. The girl wasn’t a knockout, but a definite girl-next-door cutie. She looked 22 or 23, with sunglasses and a wholesome face that only became less wholesome as she placed that cigarette in it and took a drag.
It was time to meet the folks, which is more a rite of passage than for any actual purpose at the 7:00 hour. I had 117 sightings already, which was the exact number that I had for the entire day on Monday (although I had 104 by the 7:00 hour on Monday). The meetup with the folks was brief as they wanted to go to some horse show at the Coliseum. Unfortunately it wasn’t brief enough as I looked up from where I sat as a 20-21ish guy and girl walked past with girly (Sighting #118) in possession of an all-white that was about three feet in front of my face as she passed. Mmmmm….one of the hottest pieces of ass I’d seen all day. She had blonde shoulder-length hair and was wearing a white tanktop and a sexy pair of denim shorts. The folks were just preparing to leave as the girl and guy wandered around this outdoor information booth area, and I thought to myself, “Good. The girl will still be in close proximity after the parents leave”. Only the parents drug their feet and managed to prolong their departure forever. The girl and her boyfriend tried to be cooperative and linger around the general area, and I was able to at least sneak a couple of peaks of her smoking, although I didn’t see anything I could describe in those quick glances. Finally, I watched in despair as the girl and the guy walked off, her cigarette little more than a stub and quickly heading for its final resting place. Meanwhile, my parents were standing in front of me going on and on and on telling me about some nonsense that I wasn’t listening to. At least I got to watch that awesome jean shorts-clad ass of hers wiggle its way out of sight.
I decided to sit at this place a few more minutes after the folks left for a couple of reasons. First, there was a cluster of college girls sitting on an elevated pedestal in the area. They didn’t look like smokers, but I wanted to wait a few minutes just to see given how hot one of the girls’ poses was. She sat up there on that pedestal with her legs crossed Indian-style. She had the tiniest pair of jean shorts you can imagine, a light-blue denim covering a world-class ass and those smooth, sexy legs coming out of them. I sat there with my front-row seat adoring her sexy body for a few minutes while resting my feet. And it was time once again to put those gel-filled inserts into my shoes to help me soldier on through the foot pain of the evening hours. If you recall, it was immediately after I put my inserts in last Monday that blockbuster sightings started coming fast and furious. Well guess what, it was about to happen again as I pressed forward at 7:15 for the final three hours of the Minnesota State Fair. I had a good feeling about the Saturday night crowd, but I had no idea just how good it would be.
And just a few minutes after embarking on my evening, I already came upon Sighting #120, a totally cutie 21ish brunette in a brown top, jeans, and a pair of unusual boots with brown fringes on top. She was probably a grandstand worker on a smoke break and she stood directly in front of the grandstand entrance with an all-white in her hand and a cell phone next to her ear. The girl was hot, and only about 10 seconds after I laid eyes on her and watched from close by, out walks a guy from the grandstand who notices that she’s smoking. He stops and asks her “Do you have a lighter?” As I said this girl was hot and seemed like a long-time smoker, so I was taken aback to hear the most girlish, feminine voice utter “Um, no I got matches” and then proceeded to hand the guy her cigarette saying “Here”. He used her cigarette to light up his hand and then handed it back to her. Damn that was sexy. Her technique was impressive if unmemorable and I was salivating for that butt. Unfortunately, she proceeded to the doorway of the grandstand where she stubbed out the half-smoked cigarette and put it back in her purse to save for later before walking back into the grandstand. Even though it was cut short, a very fun sighting.
Moments later came a big prize and one of my top-five sightings of the day. On the west side of the grounds less than a block from the midway stood a cluster of seven 18-20ish girls huddled around a stroller, suggesting one of them was a mother. I could see cigarettes protruding from a few female fingers but my eyes were instantly drawn to Sighting #122, a wholesome-looking brunette beauty in a brown top and very nice-fitting white shorts with a cork filter in her hand. I made a circle around the loop and quickly noticed a quiet dark blonde girl who looked younger than the rest in the group was smoking (Sighting #123), along with a curly-haired blonde with a cigarette (Sighting #124). Generally speaking, the brunette in white shorts was the life of this party, but for a brief moment the curly-haired blonde stole the show jumping and bouncing around in front of the friends as if doing a cheerleading routine with her cigarette flying around in her hand being scattered about recklessly in this packed crowd. Another blonde next to her without a cigarette scolded her, “Don’t do that with a cigarette in your hand. You’ll burn somebody!” Since I was just walking past as the smoker did this routine, I enjoyed the idea that this girl was apparently concerned with my safety.
Anyway, after that display my attention was again focused on that brunette who was bubbly and excitable and a total chatterbox. I didn’t get the impression she was a hard-core addicted smoker given that her drags were fairly far apart, but when she did take a drag it was adorable, her cute little face puckering up as she ingested that cancerous smoke into her body. After one drag, she did a hacked up a quick little girlish lugie that splattered onto the sidewalk. Her body seemed too perfect for her to have been the mother of the baby in the stroller, but she nonetheless knelt down at that point, cigarette in hand, to look through the storage area of the stroller apparently in search of something. Seeing her hot body in that crouching pose, with those tight white shorts of hers being stretched to their limit, was amazing spectacle to behold. Unfortunately, there was a bit of a buzzkill at the end of the sighting as a couple dudes walked up. Not long after seeing one of the thuggish-looking guys approach, the brunette says “Here” and then proceeds to hand the little bit left on the cork-filter cigarette to the guy. There would be a silver lining taking place seconds later as the blonde who lectured the curly-haired blonde about “not doing that with a cigarette in your hand” a few minutes earlier then proceeded to take out a cigarette of her own and light up, becoming Sighting #125.
I would see a couple of these girls on the grounds again in the same general area late in the evening, albeit not smoking, including the hot brunette in the white shorts who was bubbleheaded dancing across the grounds en route to the bathroom. Either she really had to go or she had been drinking a little and was getting tipsy…or both. There was somebody in either yours or my rolodex who this girl reminded me of, but I can’t place it yet.
Only minutes later, near the uber-productive beer gardens area, I caught another blockbuster with Sighting #130, featuring one of the most oddball clusters I’ve ever come across. In the company of a utilitarian 21ish dude was another dark brunette who was an absolute doll. She looked so wholesome that it was almost criminal, with her shoulder-length dark brown hair cresting on white tanktop, a pair of pink-rimmed sunglasses on top of her head, and most adorably, her spectacular ass draped in a pair of plaid-patterned pink and white shorts. If it was possible to exceed the previous girl’s white shorts, this girl had done it. The boyfriend looked to have a bit of a bad side but wasn’t smoking, yet his beauty queen girlfriend did have a stinky all-white protruding from her fingers, which she spewing every which direction. Now I mentioned the oddball cluster. Walking behind them was your classic gangster-looking young black guy doing a comic relief/class clown routine as he followed. At first I wondered if this guy was simply heckling them and making them wildly uncomfortable, but the guy would ultimately look back and start talking to him like they were long-lost buddies. I was following as close as possible, watching this girl’s adorable exhale and getting splashed in the face by them. Her exhales were cloudy and accomplished, and I occasionally got to behold the jets of smoke spilling out of her mouth and nose. But perhaps most intoxicating of all was watching that ass of hers wiggle forward in those pink-and-white plaid shorts. I would have paid $100 to smack that ass as I walked behind. All too soon, she’d finish off her cigarette, dropping it to the pavement and crushing it out. I was in a dense huddle of forward-moving people, but nonetheless had to come to a dead stop and identify that butt. It was a Camel Crush. Now those aren’t as cute as the Camel Pinks, but there’s still something cute about them when a girl smokes them, especially a girl like this. It suggest they’re easy prey for tobacco company marketing. Another great sighting….and I was still only getting warmed up this evening.
Only a few minutes after that, right near the onset of dusk around 7:50, I first laid eyes on my great white whale, the girl who may have been my best sighting of all time if she had cooperated. I’m walking on the still-crowded south side which is always the busiest part of the fairgrounds when I set my eyes on a cluster of five 16-year-old girls. All of the girls are adorable and glamorous and girl-next-door-ish, but the outfit on one girl was the perfect combination of every fetish fantasy I’ve ever had, made possible by this late summer weather that was cool yet still slightly warm, a mix of summer and fall. My eyes locked on this long-haired dark blonde who cuteness is impossible to overstate and my jaw almost hit the ground when I saw she was wearing a very stylish and sexy brown leather jacket…with white shorts underneath. It was the definition of love at first sight. I had never even imagined a combination of these two fetish fantasies before in my life, yet here I was beholding it with my own eyes on a girl who seemed like the sweetest angel who ever walked the face of the Earth….
I was near the go-kart track when I first observed them, and saw the girls approaching the track. I held out little hope for smoking from the beginning as the girls gathered near the fence and briefly went to the fence of the go-kart track to watch. I couldn’t take my eyes off the perfect combination of this girl’s blonde hair flowing down that leather jacket, and her amazing ass draped in white shorts underneath. I also took note that she was the only girl of the group in possession of a purse, and it was a giant white purse at that. From there, the girls decided they were gonna spend half the night taking photos of themselves. I took a seat on a bench and if nothing else, all the photo-taking gave me a good excuse to look their way without seeming stalker-ish as the girls were clearly trying to draw attention to themselves, and none more than my great white whale. They would even beckon a passerby at one point to snap a group photo of them. But the photos got increasingly suggestive and raunchy as the minutes passed, at one point with the great white whale carrying another of the girls in her arms for a snapshot…and in another the two girls touching tongues, and in another them kissing. The great white whale was continually going to that purse of hers, and I kept hoping to see cigarettes, but she was just taking that camera out and putting it back in again over and over. I was going beside myself with lust, and eventually noticed she was chewing gum. Could that have meant she had just finished a cigarette? I had no way of knowing obviously and was finding myself getting frustrated and turned on at the same time. I didn’t think these girls were smokers when I first saw them, but suddenly I was wondering….
And I kept on wondering. I was watching the minutes pass by and at various points didn’t know whether I should abandon this girl or press on….yet I always seemed to decide in this girl’s favor. I followed as they SLOWLY wandered in the direction of the midway. It was one of those dangerous would-be sightings as the girls constantly engaged in a stop-and-go routine which makes it easy to get busted since I’m always in their shadow wherever they go. There were constantly stopping to take even more pictures and always finding random guys approach to talk to them. At one point, one of the guys lit up a cigarette as the girls were chatting with them and thought this might be my chance. Again, nothing. The girls drifted off past the beer gardens en route to the midway when the great white whale raised her sex appeal even further as the friend she appeared closest with suddenly jumped on her back. Blondie must be strong, because for the next five minutes she was walking around carrying her friend on her back. Seeing that white shorts-clad ass of hers straining to prop up the piggybacking gal pal was unbearably sexy.
And keep in mind that while I was burning through a ton of time following her, I was still scoring smoker sightings on the periphery, and the best of them was Sighting #141, a knockout blonde in a red top and jeans standing near the beer gardens smoking a cigarette. Luckily, the girls I was stalking came to another stop right in this general area so I was able to watch the smoker a little better than I had some of the other sightings that had transpired during the duration. But the girls were back in motion. I had 20 minutes invested in them and could not resist pressing on, because my gut feeling (or perhaps just big-time wishful thinking) was that I would catch the great white whale extracting a pack of cigarettes out of her giant white purse. They went to another radio station tent at the edge of the midway and, being the life of the party that they were, immediately started dancing to the music. As this drug on, I decided I was gonna make a quick loop towards the grandstand and return, expecting them to still be there. I got a couple of sightings on that loop, and sure enough, the girls were still then upon my return, front and center in front of the radio station dancing like mad women.
Not long after, they proceeded into the midway, doing their continued annoying stop-and-go routine that made my job next to impossible. Finally, the great white whale approached the ticket booth and bought a huge pile of tickets for rides. As she proceeded to put those tickets in her purse, I tried to quickly walk past and get a look in that purse to see if there were cigarettes in there, but never got the opportunity. They were driving me mad by this point and continued to stumble into random guys chatting them up. I still hadn’t given up, but figured after about 35 minutes that it was time to move on. I was in the midway and figured at this hour there had to be some exciting stuff going on, so I retreated. And with good timing.
Walking further into the midway, I came upon Sighting #147, another absolutely beautiful 19-20ish light brunette walking with her boyfriend who was also smoking, and apparently in the company of another nonsmoking young couple. I hadn’t seen too many genuine beauty queens smoking during the day, but at night I was suddenly seeing them everywhere. She was dressed conservatively in a black top and jeans, but she just seemed like such a perfect college girl hottie….the wholesome hot girl you remember sitting next to you in class and distracting you from your studies….only smoking a cigarette. And as I followed, I was able to take in a few of her impressive exhales too, with streams of smoke spilling from both her nose and mouth. Finally, the guys approached the pool tables and decided they wanted to give it a go. This gave me a great opportunity to find a bench and watch this cutie finish off her cigarette while she was watching the guys play pool. Such a beauty…and such an accomplished smoker. She dropped her all-white butt to the ground and it was at this point that it hit me that my feet no longer hurt at all. I was operating on pure adrenaline after this sudden burst of excitement that had lasted more than an hour now.
Now you wouldn’t think I’d have been able to top this sighting for awhile, but it only a couple of minutes I would come upon Sighting #148, a girl who managed to pull it off. I approached from behind in an area in close proximity to the beer gardens and spotted a cluster of two guys and three girls. I could see the guy and a blonde girl had cigarettes in their hands even though their backs were towards me. I had a feeling she’d be attractive as I positioned myself to see her face, but was unprepared for the level of beauty that was about to be in front of my eyes. She was about 19 or 20, had long platinum blonde hair, was wearing a green top, and capris. This was the kind of girl that a fairgrounds fetisher waits all day to see. She couldn’t have looked more wholesome even if she wearing one of those schoolgirl skirts that your Mardi Gras waitresses were on Friday night. But my first instinct after seeing her was “social smoker”. There was simply no way a girl this cute could be a regular daily smoker, I told myself. But then she took a couple of drags and convinced me otherwise. This girl put on a show of almost endless litany of rapid-fire drags. It wasn’t supersmoking, but it was pretty darn close. I had almost forgotten that the guy next to her was even smoking as badly as she was outsmoking him. She’d take a drag, hold for a few seconds, and then release her exhale skyward in a very tight, perfect plume of straight-ahead smoke that almost all came from her mouth. Then, usually within 3-5 seconds after the last exhale, would repeat the process by taking another impressive drag. Rinse and repeat. It seemed there was never more than five seconds that this girl wasn’t in the process of either consuming tobacco into her black lungs or releasing it from her lungs. And when she finished the cigarette, I was a little worried as she began to snuff out the cherry with her fingers…field-stripping or whatever you call it. I figured she was either gonna save the one or two drags left or else toss into the garbage. Instead, she held it up to show her nonsmoking friends, as a flicker of still-smoldering tobacco was hanging from the rest of the cigarette. She said “This looks like [something inaudible from my range]. I would have loved to hear what she compared it to as she showed off her stinky cigarette remains to the nonsmoking friends who I’m sure were absolutely fascinated to her about her cigarette butt. But instead of throwing it away or saving it, she just carelessly dropped it to the pavement. Damn. From there, it was just a matter of waiting for the slow-poke guy in the group to finish smoking his cigarette, who couldn’t possibly smoke as fast as his black-lunged female friend did. But something really strange happened next….
The group KISS was performing in the grandstand last night, and right before the show started, suddenly the two smokers facing an approaching couple got a light in their eyes and started walking towards them. I even heard the girl say “That’s Gene Simmons”. And I’ll be damned if the guy didn’t look EXACTLY like him. I figured there was some KISS imitator group on hand that night and this guy was playing the role of Gene. Whatever the case, he was a dead ringer. Anyway, the cluster would hang around longer than I had hoped but eventually did press on. There was no way I was gonna leave that girl’s cigarette butt to go to waste on that pavement, and I had no problem identifying it. It was another Camel Crush…a cute cigarette for a very cute girl. It would be my second favorite sighting of the day as compared to the aforementioned #122-125.
I had spent so long in the same parts of the fairgrounds tracking sightings that I was now long overdue for another journey to the east side of the grounds. In this case, I found myself at the far eastern gate where I was at the early stages of what would be my best sighting of the day. This is another one where I need to warn you….hold onto your hat….
By now, KISS was performing and could be heard virtually anyplace within a half mile of the grandstand, but I just happened to be in a sparsely populated area near the east gate outside the range of the KISS concert, and was thus able to hear voices in close range, which saved me from missing out on the upcoming sighting. I was busting pretty good through this east side since there weren’t many people there, but took a quick mental note of a trio of cute 17ish girls who had apparently just entered the fairgrounds at the 9:00 hour. I took a quick look at them, didn’t think they looked like obvious smokers, and decided I should press forward. Thankfully they weren’t out of hearing range as I heard one of the girls behind me saying “Lindsey, now we ARE gonna stop sometime because I really need a cigarette!” I quickly jerked back my head to see an adorable brunette looking at the curly-haired blonde who she just made the request to. The blonde didn’t bat an eyelash or say a word, giving her the silent treatment, which provoked the brunette to continue pleading. “Now c’mon Lindsey. I’m ALWAYS giving you cigarettes!” Holy shit! Needless to say, I followed. I already counted these two as Sightings #158 and #159 just from that banter, but I wouldn’t be satisfied until I actually saw them smoking.
As I followed I got to make a number of observations. Remember I said that there were three friends. The third wheel was a modest brunette who did little to capture my interest. The other two had me absolutely fascinated. The brunette doing all the begging was the best looking of the three, with a beautiful wholesome face, long brown hair, a slender body, but a less than sexy red sweatshirt and utilitarian jeans below the neck. But it was Lindsey the blonde who fascinated me most. She was also pretty, and had those alluring curly blonde locks as well as a white and gold top. But below the waistline was where she really sparkled, literally. She was wearing a short pair of medium-blue jean shorts that was made glam outlined in gold glittery trim. Watching that ass wiggle in those shorts I would have killed to have gotten my hands on it. The girls were pressing forward quickly, with Lindsey sipping a drink she must have purchased just after entering the gate. The begging brunette seemed to be doing most of the talking, but unfortunately as we moved closer to the grandstand their conversation was becoming inaudible due to the noise from the KISS concert, but judging from the body language it looked at though the brunette was continuing to plead with Lindsey to stop for a cigarette.
It was shortly after this point that I would come across my most difficult decision in the history of Minnesota State Fair fetishing. As I followed Lindsey and her girls, I crossed paths with a duo that took my breath away. I looked to my left to see an amazing blonde 21ish beauty in a red top and white shorts holding a white cylinder with a glowing red cherry on the end. Standing next to her was a long-haired brunette in jean shorts, also smoking. Not only were they Sightings #161 and #162, they were the most beautiful girls I had seen all day. We’re talking perfect 10s here. These girls belong in Hollywood. They were standing in a cluster of three guys, one of whom was smoking a giant cigar. If only the girls were smoking cigars, Lindsey and her crew would have been a distant memory. Now…what to do? These girls were so gorgeous it was crazy….yet the storyline behind the Lindsey sighting was so epic that I wanted to see that play out too. But was it gonna? Just because the brunette wanted to “stop for a cigarette” didn’t mean they were going to anytime soon. And meanwhile, I had these two epic beauties right in front of me who were smoking in the present tense. Watching Lindsey and her friends walk forward into the crowd, I decided I was gonna try to have it both ways…and figured there was a decent chance I would since the 21ish babes were wrapping up their cigarettes. I stuck around and observed their last two succulent drags. Almost in tandem, the girls dropped their cork filters to the ground. But as feared, they didn’t leave, and I didn’t figure they would so long as the dude was still smoking his cigar. How is it even possible for girls this hot to exist, I thought to myself. I marked the exact spot where they stood, which was pretty easy to mark right next to the corn-on-the-cob stand. For now, I had to see if, just maybe, I could catch up to Lindsey.
I raced through the area behind the grandstand in the direction they were headed. The crowd had thinned down some now so it was not completely out of the question for me to find them, but it still seemed like a longshot. I was starting to lose hope as I continued my fast pace by the west end of the grandstand….until I laid eyes on that shiny beacon that was Lindsey’s jean-shorted gold-trimmed ass. I was back in business, baby! I continued following until they came to a stop at the edge of the midway near that same radio station where the great white whale and her friend were bopping earlier. It seemed to be a hangout for alot of teens and young adults not quite old enough to party at the nearby beer gardens. The three girls quickly struck up conversation with what I assumed were friends they planned to meet there, although I suppose it’s possible they just decided to yuck it up with other kids their age that happened to be hanging there. I was starting to get nervous as I stood on the curb across the street thinking that this might not play out, but the begging brunette just wasn’t gonna let that happen. There was a flurry of people that made it easy to lose people in the crowd, but I had an open line to watch the brunette, reading her lips as she said to Lindsey, “PLEEASE! I need a cigarette!” She then held up one finger and said “Just one!” I have to admire Lindsey for being such a torturer, making her best friend beg her for a single cigarette. You gotta figure Lindsey’s current or future boyfriends are gonna have to work just as hard or harder to get a blowjob out of her.
And then, at least 10 minutes after this sighting began, Lindsey dug into her purse and extracted a bronze pack of Marlboro 27s. The would-be sighting that was officially #158 and #159 finally was gonna become an official sighting. Lindsey handed the brunette a cigarette and then placed one in her own mouth. The brunette looked adorable dangling that unlit cigarette for a good minute as Lindsey got out her lighter, lit herself up first, and then sparked up her nicotine-deprived friend. As suspected, the third girl didn’t smoke. Now it was time to watch the show…and the girls didn’t disappoint.
Actually, the brunette may have disappointed a little, at least compared to Lindsey who was a total pro, taking frequent and lengthy drags and spewing generous snoots full of smoke in her exhales. Sometimes she was thoughtful and turned to exhale. Other times, she exhaled straight ahead and at least twice she caught the nonsmoking girl in the face. Other friends were in and out of the conversation, but Lindsey and the brunette were the only smokers. The brunette wasn’t a bad smoker, but her exhales were less dense and her drags less frequent than Lindsey’s, although I must confess that from that angle I was watching I couldn’t see nearly as much of the brunette. Lindsey, on the other hand, hacked up a lugie about halfway through her cigarette and instead of the girlish flick of spittle most little girls spit, hers had volume and distance. It wasn’t a big lugie, but she sent it flying an impressive distance. And after that, things got even weirder. She had a strange habit of extending her arm, bending her wrist, and ashing the cigarette, but one time while doing this, she accidentally tapped the cigarette right out of her hand. At first, I thought she was just finishing up the cigarette, but it was a genuine accident and she quickly picked up the cigarette off the dirty pavement and stuck it back in her mouth. She wasn’t quite done with this cigarette yet!
The girls became mobile which had its upsides and downsides. It was hard to lose Lindsey with that ass of hers gleaming, but the crowd was such that it was still a real possibility. And she kept puffing on that cigarette long after I expected it was at its end. The brunette had apparently already lost hers, which was curious since she smoked much slower than Lindsey. But as Lindsey dropped her butt and I was able to identify it, I found out why. Lindsey had smoked it right down to the filter. There was a speck of paper left, but every morsel of tobacco had been smoked out of it into Lindsey’s black lungs. I took one final look at that adorable ass of hers swaggering its way onto the horizon, aware that I had almost assuredly scored my best sighting of the day unless the great white whale amazingly came through.
My mood at this point was all-out euphoria, something I haven’t felt since fireworks of Summerfest 2009 where the smokers were absolutely everywhere. I was next headed to the spot near the corn-on-the-cob stand where the Hollywood beauties had been smoking, and as I alluded to before, I literally started running as soon as I reached a point on the grounds that was empty, so much so that some drunk from the beer gardens jokingly shouted out, “No running!” If you would have told me at 7:00 that my sore feet would have been capable of sprinted across the fairgrounds, I would have told you that you were crazy. Anyway, I got back to the spot, having scored a handful more sightings in the process, and found the spot where the butts were…both Marlboro Reds. Unfortunately the girls were gone.
It was about 9:40 at this point at my evening had passed its peak. There would be no more blockbusters or epics that I took a special interest in, but the upside to that is it allowed to boost my numbers in the final 45 minutes, and hopefully pass the previous year’s record, which was entirely possible. The next sighting of relevance was Sighting #171, which played out only a few yards from where I collected the Hollywood girls’ butts. A 21ish hippie guy was walking with what I assumed was his girlfriend, a cute brunette in a white flower print dress. She was very cute and seemed way out of his league, and she was also a smoker. I followed but was unimpressed by her infrequent drags. She was cute, but after all that I had just seen, she just wasn’t cutting it for me with her crazy slow smoking style. The guy then lit up a cigarette of my own, and I decided to walk away and see what else the fairgrounds had to offer rather than seeing how this played out.
I was officially on my way to the midway for a final run, my last hope for the great white whale, but on the way I was gonna make another pass by that sightings-rich beer garden. Usually the beer gardens is great for boosting numbers, but there are often a lot of weathered late 20s and 30-something party girls in the mix that may count in the tally, but don’t stand out. But last night, even most of the beer gardens party girls were incredible! Sighting #175 was a beautiful college light brunette on a bench puffing away in the company of two nonsmoking friends, a guy and a girl. Sighting #177 was a gorgeous blonde! Sighting #179 was also a bombshell, a dark brunette. All girls in their early 20s…and all big time beauties at a 9 or better on a scale of 10 for beauty. The sightings did not seem likely to produce storylines and my vantage points to watch them was never great, so I didn’t stick around, but I don’t ever recall seeing this many major beauties hanging outside the beer gardens. It was a perfect testimonial to how special the evening was.
The final midway run was surprisingly unproductive, with on a few sightings, and only one of which was impressive. No trace of the great white whale, so her smoking status will forever remain a mystery. It’s a shame because she would have been either #1 or #2 of all-time after the show she put on even without smoking. I continued to inch upwards towards that double-century mark and was pretty confident I’d get it. I headed to the grandstand area where KISS was still playing and spotted a duo of 18-19-year-old girls walking out. I had a feeling they might be smoking as they proceeded to an open bench. I needed to sit down and discreetly sort through my cigarette butts anyway, so I sat on the cement structure across from them to watch. Sure enough, the blonde sparked up, becoming Sighting #193. The long-haired redhead next to her appeared cuter, but as a couple of minutes passed and she never lit up, I was becoming reconciled to the fact that she probably didn’t smoke. I was actually surprised by the point that the blonde handed her the cigarette and she took a couple of drags, becoming Sighting #194 before handing the blonde the cigarette. I was sorting through my butts as I sat there, organizing them into two different Ziploc bags, one from the day and one from the evening so I could better identify them by not having multiple butts of the same brand in my pocket. After finishing that, I walked up to get a better look at the girls. The blonde wasn’t that good-looking upclose, but the redhead was still pretty cute.
The last sighting of the day to impress came on the other end of the outdoor grandstand seating area where I saw two guys and three different young gals, all in the 22-24 range. Both guys were smoking but none of the three girls were. That struck me as odd, and indeed it was about to change. Two of the girls were furiously and annoyingly rummaging through their purses for what seemed like an endless amount of time. One apparently was not going for cigarettes, however, as she never did light up. But the hottest girl of the three, a long-haired dark blonde decked out in pink shorts, would produce a pack of Marlboro Reds. She couldn’t find her lighter to save her life though, and had to use the cherry of the guy’s cigarette to fire up her own, becoming Sighting #196. She then heard KISS begin what was apparently one of their favorite songs of hers and she started running for the steps to get inside the grandstand, cigarette in hand. Adorably, the security guard stopped her, telling her she couldn’t smoke in the grandstand. She asked if it would be okay on the steps overlooking the show, but was denied. She then came back to the cluster. She had just lit this cigarette, damn it, and there was nothing some old rock band could sing that could compare to the pleasure she got from it.
From there, I made one final loop through the guts of the fairgrounds, having little problem hitting the 200 sighting mark and blowing past it. I made a final pass by the beer gardens and scored a few more modest sightings, and with the 10:30 meetup time with the parents only a few minutes away, I had to make one final pass by that radio station to see if the great white whale had returned. Nothing. I did get a second act from the Sighting #115 girl, who I had seemed three hours earlier (seemed like a lifetime) though in the long black top who entered the grandstand right after dropping her cigarette. She was with the same group of friends and was once again the only one smoking. She would also be the very last girl I’d see smoking at the Minnesota State Fair in 2010.
During the several hours that I’ve been writing this, I got to see Saturday’s State Fair attendance numbers, which shed some light on a number of things. The busiest day I’ve ever been at that had an attendance of 195,000. The previous one-day record, set in 1995, was 225,000. I can’t say I was surprised, but was still a little taken aback to see that yesterday’s attendance blew right past that all-time record with an insane 234,000 people in attendance.
As I walked out the overpass exiting the fairgrounds with the parents, I was struck by how little foot pain I was feeling compared to normal. I expect there are three reasons for this. My euphoria for the sightings bliss from the evening gave me the adrenaline to completely forget about the pain I usually feel at that hour. Also, I think those gel-filled inserts really do help cushion your feet from the unforgiving payment, provided you don’t wear them so long that they produce blisters. And lastly, I think my feet have become accustomed to this abuse after all these days and nights of nutso fetishing at these fairgrounds since early August. Whatever the case, the moral of the story is that high attendance is almost always a good thing. Whatever liability it proved to be for sightings during the jam-packed daytime hours, it proved to be a tremendous asset in the evening when the place was still pretty full of people, only far less crowded that during the day.
I’m still glad I got to see what I saw from the great white whale, although it’s gonna be torture to wonder forever if she really smokes. At this point, I’m leaning towards no, but my gut still says yes. It would also have been nice to see how high I could have gone numerically had I not been sidetracked. Could I have done 250 or even 275? Who knows? I still can’t rate this year’s MNSF as high as the 2008 fair simply because there were so many dry hours during the day, but it was far and away the best night I’ve ever had at the Minnesota State Fair. I wrapped up the 2010 fetish season in style. Now, in a few days when the buzz wears off, it’ll be time for the great September funk of 2010.