Iowa State Fair 2007
Saturday was a miserable day. The high temperature at the Iowa State Fairgrounds was 95 with a heat index in the neighborhood of 105. Unfortunately, it greatly impaired my stamina, and I could feel extreme exhaustion setting in by mid-afternoon. Around 5:30 yesterday, I was wiped out…to the point of feeling nauseous. When even the smell of secondhand smoke from hot chicks makes me wanna hurl, you know I’m in trouble! I simply couldn’t go on any further and ended up leaving early….around 7:45…and thus missing out on the “primetime” evening sightings. For this reason, weather permitting, I will be attending the Iowa State Fair again this Wednesday evening to finish what I started. I should get another six or seven hours of fetishing in that I can add to this year’s total….and at the optimal evening hours to boot.
So how was Saturday for sightings? I didn’t know what to expect. I’m told smokers have less desire to smoke on hot, humid days….but I also believed the hot weather would provoke more people to sit down in the shade, at which point they’d light up a cigarette. The heat certainly didn’t seem to affect smoking. In fact, I saw more smoking at this State Fair than I recall seeing at any other State Fair in recent memory, indicating Iowa’s recently installed $1-per-pack tax increase has had limit impact on reducing smoking. Unfortunately, hot young females didn’t necessarily represent the prime demographic of smokers I saw. I got a total of 70 sightings (as usual, these consist of sightings that I qualify as “satisfying), which positioned me to easily best last year’s total of 85 sightings and probably top the century mark had I stayed until 11 p.m. as I anticipated doing. And while the overall numbers were a little disappointing last year, the quality of the sightings was off-the-charts. This year, it was good-plus, but not great…..but then again greatness usually doesn’t occur until after dark and I left before dark this year. Overall, it was a mixed bag, but I had one near-epic sighting early in the morning that will definitely be among my top-10 State Fair sightings of all-time. Without further adieu, let’s get to the narrative…..
I arrived at the fairgrounds at about 9:45 a.m. For whatever reason, it seems like mornings yield a handful of decent sightings every year, while mid-afternoon hours are the ones that typically drag on sighting-less. Today would be a good example of that. I had only been on the grounds about five minutes when I scored Sighting #1. You always want that first sighting of the day to be memorable, and today it definitely was. I was walking through the main road in the middle of the fairgrounds and saw an early 20’s dirty blonde in a green tanktop and khaki shorts wielding an all-white. She was in the company of nonsmokers as she puffed away on her two-thirds smoked cigarette, and looked adorable doing so. Best yet, the green pack of Marlboro Menthol Lights rose above the surface of the front pocket of her shorts. Talk about cranking up the energy level at the beginning of the day.
About 20 minutes later, the next impressive display came from Sighting #3, where I spotted a very attractive early 20’s brunette in a sexy white tanktop and denim shorts prancing across the street with an all-white in her hand en route to a food booth. She kind of looked like a smoker….but her beauty really stood out. A mother and teenage daughter glanced over their shoulders as they spotted this nicotine-addicted babe in the line next to them exhaling toxic carcinogens. They even exchanged brief friendly banter while waiting in line, with the brunette dragging frequently and furiously on her all-white as I watched from a bench closeby. She purchased the greasy food item and proceeded to lug it back to one of the livestock barns, crushing out her Marlboro Light before walking inside the barn.
From there I proceeded up a steep hill on the east side of the fairgrounds and spotted a vendor selling those “Dippin’ Dots”, the super-chilled balls that are actually ice cream. I made and order and walked as I ate, modestly impressed with the synthetic ice cream but growing tired of it fairly early. I later noticed my upper lip was blistered up, and figured it could only have happened from one of those bitterly cold “dots” sticking to it and chewing up my flesh. While I probably won’t be purchasing Dippin’ Dots again, I am nonetheless eternally grateful for having purchased them yesterday, because it allowed me to be in the right place at the right time to score my near-epic sighting of the day. It was a classic “you gotta be kidding me” moment as I was venturing to the north side of the fairgrounds, but was sidetracked by the sight of a freshly lit cigarette in the hand of what looked like a wholesome teenage girl. Sighting #4, you ask? Uh….yeah!!!!
I quickly reversed course and followed her, seeing this perfect little 16-ish female body in a blue tanktop and jean shorts and her shoulder-length blonde hair wrapped up in a ponytail…..standing next to what I assumed what a kid sister who was about eight. I followed at close proximity for quite some time, watching her take intense drags off of her cork-filter cigarette, with the wind tossing her exhales straight into my face where they belonged. She eventually would stop in front of a food stand, with very little left of her cigarette. I briefly passed her to get a look at her face…..she was the perfect stereotype of the sweetheart Midwestern farm girl, was at most 16 years old, and could not have better typified the girl next door…..well, except for that strangely out-of-place cigarette in her hand! I was wondering what she was doing as she extracted her camera phone from her back pocket when I heard her mutter to the younger sister next to her “This needs to have a picture taken”. She raised her camera phone with both hands, but still maintaining her grip on the cigarette with her left hand, as took a picture of a sign that said “Pork Chop on a Stick”. Could this cutie be such a bumpkin that she’s that intrigued by the concept of a pork chop on a stick at a State Fair where EVERYTHING has been on a stick for several years? Whatever the case, I was digging it and continued to follow her as she and the sister again proceeded forward…..
I noticed this girl was not carrying a bag or a purse, so I surmised that she got the cigarette from mom before she and little sister went their own way. This assumption would lead to the grand finale of this sighting….something I don’t believe I’ve ever seen by a girl this young and cute. There was very little left of the cigarette even when she took that photo, but she made it last another full block, eventually taking three or four successive final snap drags. What the heck are you even smoking girl, I thought to myself when she finally dropped the cork filter to the ground. I stopped and looked at that butt….and every last molecule of tobacco had been sucked out of it. She smoked it right down to the filter…..completely. There was NOTHING left. I couldn’t even tell what brand it was as I stared at the butt because she made the thing disappear like a nicotine magician. I would cross the street and rapidly loop around to get one final look at this girl to burn her image in my mind forever. She was just so cute….not the kind of classic beauty that the sighting I defined as “near epic” at the 2006 Iowa State Fair (the 16-ish homecoming queen superbabe who did a dangling drag for the world to see)….but just down-home cute….the kind of girl who you expect to see at a fair in Iowa….only not with a cigarette. What an astounding way to wrap up the first hour of my day!
After this stunner, things slowed down with several modest sightings of 20-somethings, mostly young mothers who were satisfying to see with a cigarette if not particularly impressive. It wasn’t until Sighting #11 that I would see an attractive 20-something dirty blonde in the company of a nonsmoking boyfriend with an unlit cigarette dangling from her mouth, sparking up as I passed by. No intriguing storyline to this one…she was just hot.
The next two-for-the-price-of-one blockbuster would soon follow, however, as I passed the front of one of the buildings and saw a family crammed onto a barely accessible bench, and quickly noticed cigarettes protruding from the fingers of two young females, becoming Sightings #13 and #14. This one was gonna hard to watch given the logistics I had to deal with. The oldest girl was a short-haired blonde who looked to be about 18 and was quite attractive although she looked a bit chubby. She had just taken the final drag off of her cork-filter and snuffed it out on the pavement below. The middle girl was a long-haired brunette decked out in tight jeans and had a certain cuteness to her even though she wasn’t homecoming queen material. She was smoking a Marlboro Light while chatting with the family and would eventually flick the butt carelessly in front of her. In the middle of the bench was an absolutely adorable 14-ish blonde in white shorts that I hoped like hell would be smoking as well, but she wasn’t. And on the opposite side of the bench were two Norman Rockwell-esque nonsmoking parents who seemed perfectly at ease with their two teenage daughters openly smoking at the State Fair. I observed for about five minutes, and when they continued to sit there even after the girls finished their cigarettes, I decided to loop around a bit and come back…..
I returned to the scene about five minutes later, just in time to see the parents hugging the daughters before proceeding off on their own….cueing the girls to light up another round of cigarettes. The 18-ish blonde lit up another cork filter and opened up her purse to hand the pack of Marlboro Lights to the younger sister. I hoped beyond hope that she’d pass that pack to the cute younger sister still in their presence, but that didn’t happen. Still, it was blisteringly hot to see these girls smoke two more cigarettes. The 18-ish blonde finished off her Camel in record speed while the brunette took a couple more minutes to finish her Marlboro Light, ultimately getting up off the bench and starting to walk away while finishing it. The youngest girl was the only genuine bombshell of the three, but the two smokers were nothing to grumble about. The brunette carelessly flicked the remains of her Marlboro Light as the three walked off to the horizon. Things were starting to look promising for the rest of the day!
Sighting #18 would be the next one to impressive as I’m walking down the main street of the fair and spot a very attractive 18-ish brunette in khaki shorts brandishing an all-white. Soon joining her was a shaggy-haired rocker-ish boyfriend and they sat on a bench and smoked. With a girlfriend this hot, who needs groupies? After a rather slow hour, sighting #18 triggered a triple bang shot of modest sightings in rapid fire succession in the next couple of minutes, but the next memorable one wouldn’t come for another 10 minutes or so…
Sighting #23 was perhaps the prettiest smoker I would see all day. Walking down the busy southside street of the fairgrounds, I spot a young blonde 20-something with a long white cigarette and a daughter about five years old by her side. With her long blonde hair, red tanktop and white shorts sitting her lower body perfectly, this hottie oozed elegance as she dragged from her glamorous all-white and set a great example for her young daughter. She stood in front of a fairgrounds restaurant and was soon joined by a nonsmoking boyfriend/husband who would then resume walking northbound with the blonde spending the next few minutes polishing off that cigarette, holding it behind her back to avoid scorching the daughter who walked closeby. Finally, she would stomp out her cigarette butt, but I doubt it would be long until another was produced.
Sighting #24 would soon follow and was also a bit of stunner. Here was this early 20’s cutie in some sort of Jesus shirt with a cross on the front standing in front of one of the livestock buildings smoking an all-white. The contrast between her wholesome look and the cigarette she wielded was very striking.
Sighting #25 took place directly behind the grandstand in a seating area involving another early 20’s blonde cutie in a ponytail and jean shorts….a demographic that seemed to be dominant among my sightings yesterday. This girl was a real cutie though, standing in front of a bench of nonsmoking family members and having a jolly old time with brief distractions from her cigarette. As I watched this sighting, a renegade storm cloud came out of nowhere and dropped about 5-7 minutes of steady rain on the fairgrounds. While the rain took me off of my game briefly, it was nice to have about an hour’s worth of mostly cloudy conditions that held off the scorching sun beating down on me until about 3:30.
Sighting #29 would be my next impressive sighting. Standing in front of a fountain where kids are allowed to play and cool off was a young mother with a stroller smoking an all-white. Aside from the #23 girl, she was the cutest young mother smoking I would see all day. About 22 years old with a blonde ponytail and jean shorts, she looked very much out of place with that cigarette in her hand which she dragged copiously from with occasional baby-talk banter with her two-year-old daughter splashing around in the fountain. She savored every drag from that cigarette and would eventually stomp it out underneath her flip-flip. With the wet pavement from the fountain spillover, she had to put in extra effort to cut the cigarette butt loose from the flip-flop. Seconds later, her husband/boyfriend came by with two beers that they drank while waiting for the young daughter to have her fill with the fountain.
I soon drifted to the sparser southwest side of the grounds, but it turned out to be worthwhile as I would spot what appeared to be a mother and daughter across the street heading for the 4-H building. The daughter had an all-white in her hand, and I quickly crossed the street for a closer look at Sighting #32. It was an attractive 21-ish long-haired blonde in tight blue jeans, and soon after I started following her, she hacked up perhaps the biggest lugie I’ve ever seen from a chick. Not sure what it is, but it seems like girls are publicly spitting with far greater frequency now than I ever saw before. She took several more drags from that cigarette while conversing with mom before stomping it out before walking into the 4-H building.
Walking northward from there past some benches in front of the ladies’ bathroom, I spotted a modestly attractive young woman sitting smoking and decided to sit back and relax for a bit myself. But my R & R would only last a couple of minutes as I soon spied the scorching #34 sighting of the day, a ponytailed brunette cutie walking by in a white bare-midriff halter top and a microscopic yellow cotton miniskirt, accentuated with a smoldering all-white between her fingers. This outfit made me think she was about 16 but my brief early glimpses at her face told me she was probably more like 21. The highlight of this sighting came about 10 seconds after I began following her, as she dangled the cigarette in her mouth for about 30 seconds while playing around with her mini-skirt, making sure it was properly covering her assets as the wind briefly blew it around. I continued to follow as she dragged from the cigarette, and was taken aback when she somehow got sidetracked by a middle-aged guy at a birdhouse stand (!!!) who beckoned the girl to a pamphlet he was peddling. For the next couple of minutes, he was lecturing her about whatever specific thing he was selling. The girl followed along with the pamphlet, with the all-white protruding from her fingers as she looked at it. She would then proceed to the other side of the stand, dangling the small remains of the cigarette from her lips once again as she retrieved some other piece of literature from the stand before walking away. I would follow a way’s further until the cigarette mysteriously disappeared from her hand. Definitely a top-five sighting of the day.
I was on a roll now, and the roll would continue as I scored a seismic double-bang for Sightings #36 and #37. Sitting on the steps of a building that serves as a smoking zone for a number of young hotties were two mischievous-looking 16-17 babes on the final few drags of their cork-filters. One was blonde and the other was brunette, both attractive….with the brunette decked out in only a bikini top! That was a fairly popular fashion statement among young ladies in those afternoon hours, but this brunette was the only young smoker decked out in a bikini top. The blonde next to her, who was slightly cuter, spent a couple minutes longer smoking her cigarette before giving it a flick and walking away with her friend. I checked out the still-smoldering butt the blonde just flicked as could tell it was a Marlboro red. Well over an hour later, I would see these girls again. Neither was smoking, but at this point, both girls were parading down the main street of the fair in bikini tops and shorts, displaying identical “tramp stamp” tattoos on their lower backs. I can only guess the blonde had a bikini top underneath the T-shirt she was wearing before that and put it in her bag. But what happened next was like something out of a bad porn movie…..the girls both had water bottles and proceeded to squirt water all over the faces and chests of each other, wetting themselves down in bikinis while every male face (and plenty of female faces) in close proximity salivated at the public display.
Topping those last sightings would prove to be a challenge, but the girls of the Iowa State Fair would produce a few more quality sightings in the late afternoon. It was right around 5 p.m. and exhaustion was starting to set in. I took a seat on a shady hill on the fairgrounds’ east side, overlooking a significant expanse of the grounds where I could jump into action if a smoker were to surface. Thankfully, that very thing happened as this ponytailed light brunette 20-21ish cutie in a brown halter top (with bare midriff showing) and nicely fitting khaki shorts fired up an all-white a few yards in front of me, becoming Sighting #43 of the day. I raced down the hill and followed her, finding it odd that she lit up a cigarette such a short time before going into one of the fair buildings. She stood with a buff nonsmoking Asian boyfriend and finished her cigarette, definitely getting noticed as I spied on her. She crushed out the cigarette and would then proceed into the building with the boyfriend. This girl be back in action no more than a half hour later though. I had just made a productive run through the midway and scored a handful of decent sightings. On the last stretch of midway, I see the same well-proportioned college-age cutie with the same Asian boyfriend….and just like last time I spotted her, she is just in the process of lighting up another cigarette. What are the odds, I was thinking, as I followed for a little bit but not wanting to stalk too substantially since the two of them had already spotted me watching them earlier. About 20 minutes later, I would pass this same girl again….and she was in the middle of ANOTHER cigarette. It astounds me how many young cuties are still heavy smokers even in an era where a heavy smoking habit costs you over $3,000 a year. Definitely a top-five of the day.
Soon after seeing #43 for the first time, I would spot another of the hard-core hotties of the day in Sighting #44 in front of a building where they hold horse shows. Even though I’ve seen people smoking inside this building in previous years, this particular 21-ish brunette hottie chose to take it outside on Saturday. And a hottie she was with long brown hair, a scorchingly hot denim mini-skirt and a pair of flip-flops on her feet. She was distracted by her cell phone call early on, helping me to sit on a set of steps nearby and watch her intense and well-practiced drags, followed by cloudy exhales. This other 18-ish nonsmoking blonde hottie in skin-tight blue jeans seemed to be giving me the eye from the same general area as the brunette smoker, distracting me at times, but it was hard not to be drawn at this glamorous-looking brunette polluting the area with her secondhand smoke. She crushed out the cigarette under her flip-flop and proceeded back in for the end of the ongoing horse show. I stuck around the general area for about 10 more minutes as I could tell the horse show was about to end, potentially paving the way for more nicotine-starved babes to exit the arena and light up. While that didn’t happen, I did see the mini-skirted brunette in the company of a boyfriend. Neither were smoking, but it definitely turned me on that she had to flee that horse show for a cigarette while he stuck around inside for its final minutes.
It was nearly 6 p.m. by now and I was becoming increasingly wiped out, requiring frequent rest breaks after reasonably brief intervals of fetishing and seriously questioning if my stamina would be sufficient enough to keep me here for five more hours. But it was during one of these rest breaks that I scored an impressive sighting for my benchmark Sighting #50. From out of one buildings came a thuggish-looking 20-something dude along with a bodacious long-haired blonde in a purple summer dress that really added to her glam factor. The guy pulled two cigarettes from his pack and lit the first, handing it to his girlfriend/wife. My vantage point wasn’t great, but I did get to see a few satisfying drags and exhales from this young lady. In a few moments, a middle-aged guy came out and joined the couple. I got the impression he was the blonde’s father. They then walked away and I had gotten the inspiration I needed to press on for awhile.
Still, I was fatigued and even though the sightings started coming at a faster clip, none were particularly mind-blowing and my exhaustion made scoring them more of a chore than a favorite pastime. Following my 60th sighting, I was on the northeast side of the fairgrounds and knew it was time for a lengthy break at around 6:45. But sitting there, I would score my last blockbuster of the day in front of the women’s restroom (no coincidence that I sat there as I’m sure is not surprising to anyone). Sighting #61 started simply enough with a middle-aged couple and a 18-ish brunette daughter that had just entered the fairgrounds. Mom had a freshly lit cigarette in her hand and was the only smoker of the three. Both of the parents were heading towards the bathroom while the daughter was getting out her cell phone to make a call. But just as mom was walking away, I heard her call out for the daughter. Realizing she couldn’t take her cigarette with her into the bathroom, she handed the daughter the cigarette. The daughter would proceed to take several drags off of the cigarette while chatting on the cell phone. About three or four minutes later when the mother had exited the bathroom, the daughter dutifully handed what was left of the cigarette back to mom. It sure is nice to see mothers teaching manners to their daughters this day and age….like always be sure to help mom with her cigarette when she goes into the ladies restroom.
As I continued to sit on this bench, I started feeling increasingly nauseous. Sitting there after all those hours of walking probably contributed to my unsettled feeling and all that fountain water I drank on an empty stomach likely didn’t set well either. It was at this point I really began to doubt my ability to hang out for 3 1/2 more hours. Feeling increasingly queasy, I decided it was best to get up and see if I could walk it off. As you can imagine, the smells of the fair were not helpful to my condition, be it the livestock barns, the greasy food, or even the secondhand smoke. At one point, I was pretty sure I was gonna toss my cookies, but as I headed into the bathroom suspecting the worst, things started to nominally improve on the nausea front. Still, my body was teetering on the edge and I soon came to the conclusion that it wasn’t worth sticking around, especially since I anticipated further feverish feelings when the sun went down. I slowly made up my mind to leave for the night and resume my safari on a weeknight where I would could make up for the lost evening sightings I missed out on this weekend.
But I would make one more pass around the main street of the fair to make sure I was doing the right thing…and during that pass I would spot Sighting #66, another college-age light brunette cutie in a halter top and khaki shorts about 50 yards in front of me. Amazing how even when my body seemed to be at its wit’s end, I managed to find the adrenaline needed to sprint up to this smoker and her nonsmoking chick friend. But I could tell they were headed for the northwest gate to exit so I knew I had to act fast to get a closer look. The brunette smoker was a definite cutie as I caught a final glimpse at her as she and the friend pushed through the exit. I would score another handful of sightings on my way out, but I was clearly off my game at this point and only interested in getting away.
I anticipating becoming more ill after the sun went down as I often do following these all-day safaris in the baking sun, but I held up amazingly well. Had I known my recovery would be this smooth, I would have at least stuck around for the 8 p.m. concert at the fair. I even got a good night’s sleep last night, which rarely happens after a sightings safair as my sunburnt face turns my pillows into heating pads and as I see generic images of hot babes lighting up cigarettes every time I close my eyes in a classic case of sensory overload. Nonetheless, I’m happy to have dodged a bullet and should be rarin’ to go with a second act to the Iowa State Fair one weeknight soon, most likely Wednesday.