2006 Minnesota State Fair

Minnesota State Fair 2006

I began my current routine of Minnesota State Fair smoker safaris in 2001, but didn’t specifically dedicate my day to the consumption and bookkeeping of sightings until 2002. This was my sixth year of obsessively navigating the grounds for young and attractive female smokers, and every year I’ve hovered just above 100 sightings that I deemed “satisfying”. My previous record was 2004 where I got 106 sightings. Last year, I barely hit the century mark with 101 sightings, despite being on the fairgrounds for 13 hours, my longest stint ever, and the last two sightings were squeezed in while driving out of the parking lot. It was pretty clear by late afternoon on Saturday, August 26, 2006, that I was heading for a record day of sightings. Not only did I beat my previous record, I destroyed it, ending the 12-hour day with a blistering 165 sightings!! Even Elaine Benes would have to agree to the necessity of an exclamation point at the end of a sentence like that!
Not only was the quantity there, the quality was as well. After such an amazing initial experience at the Iowa State Fair two weeks ago, I was trying to hold expectations down for this year’s Minnesota State Fair, particularly considering that last year was a bit of a disappointment. The sheer quantity of blockbuster sightings (including one “epic” sighting) helped make this year’s Minnesota State Fair experience at least as good as the Iowa State Fair trip. Without any further adieu, let’s get to the sightings….

I walked into the fairgrounds right around 9:30 a.m. Mornings are not typically a good time for sightings, but as I turned the corner past the Coliseum on the south side of the fairgrounds, I could barely contain my excitement knowing I was about to embark on my favorite and most productive sightings adventure of the year. Within about two minutes of arrival, I’m in front of the cattle building, preparing to turn north and spot a 19-20-ish blonde with her friend. The blonde has a pink shirt and flattering white shorts. Beauty-wise, she wasn’t a perfect 10, but definitely a solid seven. She took two snap inhales filling the cool morning air with carcinogens, crushed out the all-white beneath her shoes and proceeded into the cattle barn with her non-smoking friend. Welcome to the Minnesota State Fair!

A second modest sighting occurred within the next 10 minutes and was quickly followed by one of my top-five sightings of the day. I’m navigating the middle of one of the fair’s busier streets (as I always do to try to spot smokers on both sides of the street) when I look to my left and catch a glimpse of a decent-looking 18-ish brunette brandishing an all-white. Closer inspection helped me realize she was in a party of four (likely two sets of couples). I saw both of the guys in the group were also smoking, and finally noticed the other girl in the group….an absolutely adorable brunette in a white tanktop and a pair of jean shorts that fit her body perfectly. She was the perfect stereotype of the sweetheart “girl next door”, yet there she stood holding an all-white (likely a Marlboro Light) along with the rest of her group, who all looked fairly wholesome. I followed the group at a fairly close distance and admired the amazing posterior on the more attractive brunette. The way she filled out those shorts brought back memories of the 1996 “State Fair Girls” I talked about last week. She crushed out the cigarette under her flip-flop and proceeded onward. The day was shaping up quite nicely.

My early morning luck held up as I journeyed past the horticulture building to find Sighting #5, a beautiful light brunette in her early 20’s sharing a bench with what I assumed to be her grandmother. The elderly lady looked to be well into her 70’s, yet was smoking a cigarette right along with her granddaughter. It reminded me of my ex-girlfriend Dana, who also has a very strong relationship with her grandmother, and is also a smoker. A matriarchal bond over nicotine…..could anything be more beautiful?

Sighting #6 represented the climax of my early morning streak of success. I walked past the trades buildings to see an attractive mid-20’s blonde with long hair who appeared to be part of a demonstration for the public, dangling an all-white from her lips as she showed a small crowd some sort of woodworking project along with a couple non-smoking males.

As is often the case, late morning was very unproductive for sightings. I looped around for the next two hours, sparingly piecing together a handful of marginal sightings and taking an interest in a number of attractive young ladies who never lit up. Sighting #11 was the first sighting that tickled my fancy for well over an hour. It was a short-haired bottle blonde in her early 20’s who appeared to be in the presence of her smoking mother observing the marine life just outside the impressive DNR building. She was a petite little firecracker and really invigorated my desire to press on after a lackluster hour.

Right around noon, I rested at an opportune location where two sets of incredibly attractive and scantily-clad teenagers were eating with their families. The girls and the families accompanying them looked very much like potential smokers. I sat here for at least 15 minutes, hoping to see a cigarette fired up after the girls finished their junk food, but it simply wasn’t happening. All was not lost, however. Just as I was about to give up, Sighting #19 enters the picture, journeying in a group of three (two females, one older male) down the busy street. I could tell from a distance that she was beautiful, and proceeded to follow the group, marinating in her toxic exhaust every time she exhaled from her cork filter (likely Marlboro Red). I was close enough to hear her talk to the other girl and was struck by how husky her smokers’ voice was, even though she was no older than 21. She eventually settled in the commons area behind the grandstand, while the older male in the group went to grab some junk food. It was at this point I was able to sit down and get a closer look at this beauty. What a stunner! Picture Lindsay Lohan as a light brunette without the freckles and you have this girl. She finished her Marlboro and crushed it out. The other girl, who was mildly attractive but slightly chubby, proceeded to pull out her own pack of Marlboro Lights and fire up a cigarette of her own as soon as “Lindsay” finished hers. But even with this girl smoking, all I could do was lust over the gorgeous light brunette. The older male returned with junk food and the group departed. What a lovely turning point into the afternoon hours.

Several sightings and about 45 minutes later, I had circled the fairgrounds and was near the food building, where quality sightings have been known to occur in the commons area once people finish scarfing up their junk food. I took particular interest in a group of three 19-20ish hotties all dolled up and seated on the back bench near the Skyride. They were still eating, but I had a feeling about them, so I did a quick loop up the block in the hope that when I returned, they’d have extracted their “desserts” from their purses. When I returned, they were getting up to leave. My eyes were fixated on the two dirty blondes, who did not appear to have tobacco in their presence, but right when I was about to give up, I notice the brunette in the group was wielding an all-white. As the three girls left, I noticed the brunette throwing her empty pack of Marlboro Lights away (I hope she had more!!!). All three girls were dolled up in flattering State Fair-esque attire, and this brunette’s blue tanktop and denim mini-skirt certainly fit the bill. My lucky number is 27, and Sighting #27 sure lived up to that superstition as I followed the girl(s) at a comfortable distance and enjoyed her every exhale. She crushed out the cigarette on the sidewalk before entering some “Eco-System” water stand that offered samples of free bottled water. I waited outside for the girls to exit, hoping to see more tobacco consumption, but when they left and didn’t spark up, I knew it wasn’t meant to be. Still, another first-rate performance, and one that I really valued since I had to work for it and was duly rewarded.

As is the case every year, the plurality of my sightings came from the open-air beer gardens area and its numerous restaurants with live music performances. That and the accompanying restroom facilities a few yards to the east ALWAYS come through. Sightings #32, #33, and #34 all came in one fell swoop as I came across three beauties in their early-to-mid-20’s, with boyfriends in tow, smoking on the sidewalk a few feet from the beer gardens. The young ladies were not 10’s, but again, solid sevens. They had the classic “naughty nicotine girl” look which I’m sure most of us fetishers can detect in a crowd. I wasn’t in much of a position to watch them, but tried nonetheless (and was very clearly spotted doing so), and took in a couple quality inhales before the group left the scene.

From there I turned around to continue my journey past the beer gardens and instantly spotted the oddball tobacco sighting of the day (I didn’t count it as a smoking sighting). I see this middle-aged couple (likely the parents of one) walking in front of a young guy and cute 18-ish girl who appeared to be a couple. The guy was pulling out his tub of Skoal and extracting a big old nasty dip which he inserted into his mouth. After seeing this, I looked to the girl to find her lower lip swollen up, very clearly possessing a plug of chew of her own. I must say that this cute girl looked absolutely ridiculous with a wad of chew under her lip, but exotic tobacco sightings like that definitely add to the character of a sightings safari.

The sightings came in fast and furious for the next 10 minutes, including my second-best sighting of the day, which came near the haunted house on the heavily-traveled Judson Avenue on the south side of the fairgrounds. Sighting #37 started simply enough with a modestly attractive 19-20ish dirty blonde dragging on a freshly-lit all-white. As I began to visually track her, I notice she’s in the company of an even more attractive college-age brunette wearing a pair of white sunglasses and dangling her own freshly-lit all-white from the corner of her mouth, alas becoming Sighting #38. The two girls progressed across the street, with the brunette carrying on with the longest-lasting dangle I’ve ever seen from a young girl. It must have been a good 45 seconds before she removed that cigarette from her mouth in time to meet up with what I assumed to be her parents and younger sister. Both parents were smoking, and it was clear I had come across a family of smokers. The dirty blonde didn’t look like the other two girls, so I’m not sure if she was in the family or just a friend, but Sighting #39 would transpire thanks to her as the brunette kid sister, who looked about 18, opened the backpack of the dirty blonde and extracted her pack of Marlboro Lights, wasting no time lighting herself up. The State Fair parade had just begun and the family got up to leave, apparently to follow the parade. The younger brunette was in the front of the crowd, so I couldn’t see her very well. I was more interested in the older sister, who performed that incredible dangle only minutes earlier. The girl was right in front of me, dragging copiously from her cigarette. I could tell from the inverted filter that she was smoking a Parliament, occasionally using her cell phone to snap pictures from the parade, balancing both the phone and her cigarette in one hand. It was a bona fide blockbuster sighting and I’m eternally grateful to the Minnesota State Fair for making it happen.
Considering there were as many as 180,000 people on the massive 320-acre fairgrounds yesterday, it was amazing how many times I came across the same people. In the case of this family, I saw them twice more over the course of the next two hours. On both occasions, the dirty blonde was smoking another cigarette, even though the brunettes were not. By the way, if I see the same girl(s) smoking more than once on the same day, I don’t count it as an additional sighting.

I turned around after this stunning three-for-the-price-of-one sighting and proceeded back down Judson Avenue encircling the horticulture building. I spot a family with two daughters (or perhaps one daughter with a friend) and could see one of the petite girls smoking an all-white. Sighting #40 of the day was definitely the youngest smoker I saw at the State Fair this weekend. I doubt she was older than 14, and at the most 15. Almost every year, I see one early-teen smoker, but usually it’s a girl who fits a more alternative profile. Not this girl. She was a blonde cutie in a pink T-shirt and snug denim shorts, the most wholesome looking early-teen smoker I’ve seen at the State Fair since 2000. Just as I was arriving, the girls (one of whom was not smoking, at least at that time) parted ways with the parents, with the young girl openly smoking on the busiest street in the fairgrounds. It was hard to follow them with foot traffic as intense as it was, but nonetheless managed to see some deep drags and bathe in some secondhand fumes before she squashed it out on the pavement underneath the heel of her flip-flop (what could be cuter than that?). I never did get a good look at this girl’s face, but that would change about an hour later as I was walking down the midway and saw the same two girls. Neither of them was smoking at this time, but the smoker girl definitely had the look of a seasoned smoker as I quickly studied her face. While not drop-dead gorgeous, she was very cute and the kind of girl I would have killed to go out with when I was in 8th or 9th grade.

I encircled the horticulture building and headed to the booth selling “cheap” pop near the information booth, taking in a quality sighting while standing in line for my Dr. Pepper. Sighting #43 was a slow trajectory (ultimately making it more satisfying) that started with a group of 18-ish guys and girls lighting themselves up. The cutest girl of the bunch was a petite brunette in adorably snug denim jean shorts that tightly packaged her feminine form. After being struck by her cuteness, I quickly noticed she was holding the pack of Marlboro Mediums that her boyfriend had just tapped into. As of yet, however, the girl had not dipped into her own pack. She purchased her beverage about the same time I did and proceeded to sit, along with the rest of her clique, on the cement steps of the information booth corner, unfortunately without the pack of Marlboro Mediums in sight. But never fear….she reached into the pockets of those jean shorts and allowed that pack of smokes to see the light of day again, before extracting a cigarette and lighting herself up. She looked so petite and adorable sitting there smoking and drinking her soda on those steps in her impossibly sexy jean shorts.

Every year, I make a point of traveling the sparsely-traveled north side of the fairgrounds, which consists of a lot of tractor vendors and farm implement dealers, along with the 4-H building, among other things. I’ve gotten some quality sightings on the north side over the years, but by and large, it’s not a sightings hotbed, so I usually limit myself to one pass through the area. Such was the case this year. I did pull off six sightings in the half-hour loop, all modestly impressive but nothing blockbuster. That took me up to 49 sightings, and I was hoping to hit a homerun or at least a solid double for Sighting #50. I returned to the information stand to get a drink of water from one of their fountains when #50 revealed herself in the most bombastic of ways. Here’s this stunning early-20s blonde with a flamboyant pink cowgirl hat heading towards the seating of the information stand to meet a likely boyfriend, with a cigarette clutched in those feminine fingers. She was quite attractive, but it was that cotton-candy blonde hair and pink cowgirl hat that was the icing on the cake for my benchmark 50th sighting.

It was about 4 or 4:30 by this time, and fatigue was definitely setting in on my feet after seven hours of intense walking. Still, it was generally around this time of the day when sightings start to really ramp up, so relaxation was scarcely an option. After a second disappointing jaunt through the midway which only yielded two modest sightings, I went back to the old reliable beer gardens area and found Sighting #58, an adorable 21-ish blonde sitting all by herself smoking an all-white on a bench right on the corner. She was one of the prettiest girls I saw smoking all day, and I was half-tempted to share that bench with her, but smoking hotties like her generally aren’t alone for long before their beefcake boyfriends return with a pitcher of beer.

I had a blinding litany of more than a dozen impressive but unmemorable sightings over the course of the next 15 minutes, several of which were listening to live music performed in the beer gardens. But my next memorable moment wouldn’t come until the breathtaking Sighting #73. Last year, I recall a moment when I arrived at Judson Avenue from the DNR building, and while I almost always turn left from there, decided at the last minute to turn right and was rewarded with the sighting of three 18-year-old hotties smoking. Remembering that, I decided to turn right again this time, and not 10 seconds later feasted my eyes upon the most adorable 19-20ish blonde wielding an all-white. She was in the company of an older guy (possible father) and two other girls her age, none of whom were smoking. I followed from behind and could not quit admiring this blonde cutie with her long hair in pigtails hanging over her shoulder over her blue tanktop. Covering her bottom was a very tasteful denim skirt. I could see the pack of Marlboro Lights protruding above the surface of her purse and was positively giddy as I watched her polish off that cigarette, eventually crushing it out under the heel of her flip-flops. Later on, I spotted the same group sitting down to eat near the go-kart track. I observed from a distance as they were preparing to leave. I never saw another cigarette smoked by the adorable college-aged blonde in pigtails, but clung to a sense of victory after once again seeing that pack of Marlboro Lights peeking out of her purse.

The pigtail girl was the first in a litany of top-shelf sightings that continued only a couple of moments later with Sightings #76 and #77. I approach a bench on Judson Avenue from behind and see a middle-aged women inserting a fresh cigarette between her lips and lighting up. As I get closer, I notice there are four females sitting on the bench, two older and two younger, and one by one watch them insert cigarettes in their lips. I crossed the street to observe from a comfortable distance. It appeared to have been a case of two middle-aged mothers and two daughters in their early-to-mid 20’s. Am I really watching two mothers and two daughters simultaneously enjoying cigarettes right in front of me or am I dreaming, I think to myself awaiting for somebody to pinch me. Neither the mothers or daughters were breathtaking beauties, but the younger girls were attractive enough to make this sighting more than worthy of locking in my long-term memory vault. The ladies soon get up, cigarettes in tow, to watch a live music performance in front of the DNR building, occupying the bleachers and exposing innocent bystanders to their noxious secondhand vapors.

A litany of wizbang sightings ensued as I proceeded around the horticulture building. At the end of this litany came the best two of the bunch, Sightings #82 and #83. I spotted #82, a petite and moderately attractive blonde, from across the street and proceeded that direction to see if there was more to this story. And there was! In front of the blonde was another adorable girl-next-door brunette (and a guy) in a pair of tight blue jeans that packaged her feminine form beautifully. The brunette cutely and self-consciously wiggled her way through the crowd while carefully clutching her all-white between her fingers so as not to lose it in the crowd. I didn’t get to observe for more than about 10 seconds before she was lost in the ceaseless maze of foot traffic, but I cherished those 10 seconds.

It was approaching 6 p.m. by now and I was already closing in on the century mark, a milestone that took me four more hours to attain at the 2005 Minnesota State Fair. I was feeling pretty good about myself, even though none of the sightings up to this point would qualify as “epic” or unseat any of my current top-10 Minnesota State Fair sightings of all time. I tried to downplay that in my mind, realizing that epic sightings should be looked at more as a rare treat rather than something that should be expected, and I was perfectly ready to accept that no such sightings would transpire at the 2006 fair. The next hour would prove me wrong though.

I make a point of intensely traversing the seating area behind the grandstand and the grandstand stairs to its east and west. Save for the beer gardens, it has been my most productive venue for sightings are really came through for me last year, producing sightings of weary foot travelers eager for a smoke break and of young female vendors underneath the grandstand out for a nicotine fix of their own. For whatever reason, the grandstand area disappointed this year. I probably got a dozen or more sightings there, but nothing particularly noteworthy aside from the two sightings (ironically, #19 and the yet-to-come #119) where girls traveled from a previous location to the area behind the grandstand. Even at the high volume dinnertime hour, I saw no nicotine addicts as impressive as those as I was seeing elsewhere on the grounds.

With that in mind, I journeyed back to the beer gardens and DNR area where I piled on several more sightings, the best being sighting #90, a stunning long-haired brunette who about 18 and an absolute knockout. She and her thuggish-looking boyfriend walked hand in hand to look at the animals in the DNR waters outdoor, with freshly-lit cigarettes occupying their free hands. I followed for a bit and got a chance to admire this beauty’s smoking style and her beautiful yet “mischievous nicotine girl” face before journeying elsewhere.

The sightings piled up into the 90’s and I was astonished at the blistering pace at which they were occurring. I had accomplished by 6:30 what took until 10:30 to accomplish in 2005….and the high-volume tobacco consumption evening hours were still yet to come! Stuck at 99 for several minutes, I proceeded behind the food building which had already treated me well that day and would hopefully produce a quality 100th sighting. As I approach from behind a circular burm used for seating by junk-food consuming fairgoers, I notice a 20-something blonde from behind and take an interest in her, wondering if she’s smoking. I encircle the burm and walk past the dozen or so non-smokers seated to her left, and sure enough, the only smoker of the bunch was the attractive mid-20’s blonde, dragging intensely from an all-white as I walk past.

I had less than five seconds to celebrate my 100th sighting before Sighting #101, the epic sighting of the day, fell straight into my lap. I look up from the blonde as I exit the commons area behind the food building to find a beautiful 16-ish chickie with long and curly light brown hair running down her back, and an unlit cigarette dangling from her lips. Immediately sensing something special about this girl, I began to follow her and a redheaded friend who was considerably less attractive. The brunette wore a lovely bare-midriff blouse that exposed her well-toned belly to the tens of thousands of lucky male fairgoers, as well a tight pair of denim Capris that fashionably showed off her glowing teenage booty and lovely lower legs. It took about 30 seconds for her to fish her lighter out of her purse, but when she did, she sparked up that cigarette. She took a couple of drags before handing the cigarette to her friend and then wasted no time firing up another cigarette of her own. I got particular guilty pleasure about the fact that this adorable teen beauty was the bad influence on her less attractive friend.

From there, the girls decided they wanted something to eat, and stood in line at this stand that appeared to sell little cups of frozen custard or something of the like. Luckily, the stand was two-sided, so I was able to go to the other side and see through the glass, finally getting a good look at her. She was more beautiful than I previously suspected. Not only because of her astounding mane of light brown hair, but also her flawlessly beautiful face, she reminded me of Krista, the daughter of a woman my mom works with who is now college age. Krista is a non-smoker, and homecoming queen hot…and this nicotine girl at the Minnesota State Fair possessed facial features cut from identical cloth. It was like a fantasy come to life as I recalled all the times I thought about how hot Krista would look as a smoker. It only got better as the girl stood up to place her order, unapologetically holding her cigarette above the counter and proudly displaying her youthful nicotine addiction to the world.

The girls carried their desserts and their cigarettes to the sidewalk, where they quietly sat and consumed a toxic brew of transfat and deadly carcinogens. And consume they did! I sat on the sidewalk across the street and got to see a surprising amount considering the foot traffic between us. The pretty girl went back and forth from her frozen dessert to her cigarette, dragging furiously and frequently, sucking the tobacco out of that cigarette faster than I would have expected before crushing it out in front of her on the sidewalk. No more than 60 seconds had passed before the girl turned around and started fishing through her purse. Could this 15-16 year-old stunner possibly be so addicted to cigarettes that she needed an exciting encore less than a minute after polishing off her last? DING! DING! DING! Every part of my fatigued anatomy stopped for a second as the pack of Camels in her purse was extracted for the third time in less than 10 minutes, and the girl lit herself up again. It was very clear that her frozen custard had quickly become an afterthought, taking a backseat to her obviously insatiable nicotine dependency. She only got a few drags off of the second cigarette before the two of them got up to leave. I couldn’t help but following a little further, even though I’m pretty sure they spotted me by this point. As I studied this beauty’s amazing face one last time before parting ways, I would’ve given anything to turn back the clock and be 16 again if only for that evening. I don’t know where Sighting #101 from the 2006 Minnesota State Fair will fit into my top-10 list of all-time favorites, but I’ll have some serious fun reconfiguring it after this epic stunner.

From there I went and purchased a cone of hot cookies and proceeded a few blocks east to get another Dr. Pepper near the information stand. I took in another seven sightings during that journey, but everything was pretty much a blur after what I had just seen with Sighting #101. It was 7 p.m. and time for me to give my aching body a rest. I sat atop a cement slab at the information booth, hoping to take advantage of the vantage point for a few downtime sightings. The spot didn’t disappoint. About seven or eight minutes into my seat came this stunning 21-ish brunette, one of the prettier girls I saw yesterday, in a short denim mini-skirt and wielding a freshly-lit all-white. She was accompanied by her boyfriend, who at least at the time wasn’t smoking. Proving that there is a God, she accidentally dropped her cigarette to the ground a few yards in front of me and had to bend over to pick it up, giving me a front-row seat of her shapely backside.

Soon after, I got some restitution from earlier in the afternoon near the beer gardens, when I spotted a group of three young ladies walking together. All were attractive, but the one who caught my eye was a very petite dirty blonde in a short skirt with black cowboy boots on her feet. She looked much younger from a distance because of her petite stature, but close up it was obvious that she was about 21. Well, she approached the information booth as I was sitting there, this time in possession of a smoldering cigarette made even more cute, for whatever reason, by the cowgirl look she was conveying with those boots, which were hard to miss.

Sighting #113 quickly followed, still seated at the information booth, as a pair of girls and a guy sat on the cement as the guy ate some junk food. To the guy’s right was a very attractive 19-ish dirty blonde, while to his left was a brunette with very dramatic features. I’m generally not a fan of short hair on young girls, and can only think of one woman who looks better with short hair than long….and that’s country singer Martina McBride. This girl very much had a Martina McBride thing going, with similar facial features and a hairdo nearly identical to Martina’s before she grew it out…..except this girl’s features and hair were considerably darker. As I observed from a distance, it sure looked like she was holding a box of cigarettes in her left hand along with her cell phone. As I looked closer, it became obvious that she was indeed in possession of a pack of Parliaments. I was starting to worry she wouldn’t light up, but after the boyfriend finished his junk food, she opened the pack and extracted one for the both of them (the other girl apparently didn’t smoke) and I wrapped up my sit near the information booth watching this beauty puffing on her Parliament.
Dusk was approaching and I had a lot of territory I still wanted to cover, but as is always the case, an extended period of sitting after hours of walking makes it even harder to proceed further. I didn’t know if I was gonna make it there for the first few minutes, but thankfully recovered in time to enjoy the evening “light show”. Once the sun goes down, the girls more easy to dismiss as non-smokers during the day suddenly become fair game, as nearly every attractive young lass may be pleasuring her respiratory system with manufactured cylinders of compressed tobacco and tar. The downside of evening sightings is that the lack of light makes it harder to appreciate the beauty and smoking styles of the chick smokers.

I already gave a teaser of my next blockbuster sighting, which was Sighting #119. Once again near the beer gardens, I turn the corner to see two long-haired 18-ish blondes pass me. They look remarkably similar in hairstyle and clothing (both wearing sexy black strap shirts and tight form-fitting blue jeans) and were either sisters or best friends who choose to look as much alike as possible. However, only of the beautiful blondes was a smoker, caressing an all-white (likely Marlboro Light) in between her index finger and middle finger. Like any good stalker worth his weight in restraining orders, I had to follow these beauties as they progressed towards the grandstand area to a waiting middle-aged woman, likely the non-smoker mother or one of both of the girls, most likely the smoker who did 90% of the talking when she arrived. It was such a rush to see this 18-ish beauty casually dragging and exhaling only a couple feet in front of her non-smoking mother. The only thing that could have made this sighting better is if the other girl, who looked more innocent and sweet, also lit up.

If you blinked, you’d miss five sightings in those evening hours, but most were something of a blur with the darkness obstructing the intensive observation that the light of day provided. The two-in-one sightings where that certainly didn’t apply were Sightings #132 and #133 between the Space Tower and horticulture building. About 50 yards in front of me, I notice two amazing blonde female bodies proceeding forward with freshly-lit cigarettes in both of their hands. These were the kind of impossibly well-proportioned teenage hotties who seem as though they’re fem-bot constructions of some engineering wizard rather than actual humans. Their appeal was only accentuated by their ultra-feminine attire, including a pink-and-white striped tanktop and tight jeans on the one girl and a pink tanktop and denim mini-skirt on the other. I accelerated my pace to get a closer and was fortunate enough to have the girls sit on the sidewalk to consume their cigarettes. I sat on the sidewalk across the street and admired their Barbie-doll cuteness and watched them copiously drag from their all-whites. Unable to appreciate the depth of their facial beauty, I decided to walk across the street and get a closer look at them in passing. Both girls were amazing beauties, probably 16-17 but possibly 18, with the pink shirt/denim skirt vixen particularly beautiful. In passing, I was even able to tell that the pink shirt girl was smoking a Marlboro Light while the other girl was smoking a Parliament. About 30 seconds after crossing the street, the girls jubilantly rose from the sidewalk and ran over to embrace two guys I certainly assumed to be their boyfriends. I followed the four of them for a distance before realizing the show was over, but not before providing me my third favorite sighting of the day.

Seven more sightings ensued on my journey back to the midway, where I was about to make my final evening run. I had already made three trips down the midway, and was disappointed with the lack of sightings thus far. However, the evening run through the midway is almost always productive. I had two sightings immediately upon entering there, where a group of guys and girls were almost all smoking. After that though, the first half of the midway run continued to disappoint (keep in mind, the midway at the MN Fair is HUGE!). It heated up in the second half though, producing an unending slough of sightings that culminated in uncharted territory for me, Sighting #150. And it was memorable, with an 19-ish blonde hottie cheering on her boyfriend at a carnival game playing pool while simultaneously attending to her own physical needs dragging from an ever-present cigarette comfortably resting between her fingers. The girl was blonde, petite, and packaged in a flattering blouse and mini-skirt. Yet again, I hit a benchmark in style.

I made one final lap around the grounds before leaving, picking up an additional 14 sightings, but nothing that jumped out at me. Then, I got a bonus exiting the grounds on an overpass that goes above the street to the south of the fairgrounds and towards the parking lot. I look to my right from atop the street and sidewalk to see an adorable blonde in a pink shirt and denim miniskirt walking with her boyfriend and holding a cigarette. You guessed it. It was the “fem-bot” from an hour earlier (Sightings 132 and 133). Not far behind her was the other blonde, also sucking down another cigarette. Apparently they live in walking distance from the State Fairgrounds. Almost makes me want to move to St. Paul. Since I already counted these girls as two sightings, I didn’t add to my total, but I was just fine with that seeing as how two of my favorite bombshells of the day provided me with an encore.

Usually, I manage four or five additional sightings on the way out of the fairgrounds. That wasn’t the case last night, although I have a feeling a 16-ish brunette cutie had a cigarette in hand as she raced behind my car to get to her commuter bus, but since I didn’t know for sure, I didn’t count her. On the drive to Snelling Avenue, however, I did get one final sighting in the backseat of a car. Amongst a crowd of commuters in this particular car exiting the State Fairgrounds lot was a 16-ish blonde whose cigarette glowed like a firefly in the backseat of that car. This particular car was only parallel to mine for about 10 seconds so I didn’t get a great look at her, but could tell she attractive enough to warrant Sighting #165 status.

As always, the same post-fair symptoms afflicted me again in 2006, including fever and intensely sore feet (as well as soreness in other parts of my anatomy we won’t talk about), but needless to say, it was all worth it. I almost feel as though I should write a Minnesota State Fair Fetisher Handbook at this point after all these runs, informing fetishers of fairground hotspots and warning of things to avoid and things to pursue.

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