Top-5 Mall Sightings of 2011

2011 had been a pretty solid year of mall sightings through the first 11 months of the year, with a couple blockbuster sightings and a flurry of impressive also-rans.  Given the only modestly favorable conditions that a mall provides for fetishing, that’s not a bad haul.  But in the 12th month of 2011, one incredible day at a mall near where I grew up in Minnesota by itself turned what would have been a top-two list of epic/blockbuster sightings into a top-five list.  Interestingly, all of the mall sightings from my existing top-10 list on this blog occurred at one mall in central Iowa.  But in this year’s top-five, only one of the year’s best occurred at that mall, with the remaining three taking place either at the Minnesota mall I visit twice a year or at another mall in central Iowa that I’ve incorporated into my mall fetishing routine.  Anyway, time to get to the year’s best….

#5.  I had already had a better afternoon of fetishing than the law of averages would say is possible that December day in Mankato, Minnesota, but in the final minutes of the day before I met up with my parents, I went back to the entryway in front of the main mall entrance for what I hoped to be a strong final act of the day, and suffice it to say I went out in style with two more sightings effectively playing out right in front of my face….

First coming out of the mall was a mismatched young couple.  I didn’t pay close attention to them until they both got outside, and in seconds the brunette girl produced a pack of Marlboro Menthols from her pocket.  Now the girl, who looked about 19 or 20, was decently attractive, but had a bit of an edge to her with a piercing in her lip and such.  She was wearing a white sweatshirt and holey pale blue jeans that were a very nice fit on her.  The first of two factors that made this sighting cute was that girl was literally standing five feet from me on the outside of the entryway glass smoking her cigarette, and she placed that cigarette in youthful face and just sucked out the tobacco into her black young lungs every time…with that somewhat hard-to-define feminine cuteness in the way she smoked her cigarette.  She wasn’t a rapist, nor was she a small-dragging beginner, but you could tell she loved what that cigarette and the cancerous chemicals inside of it felt inside her body with every drag.

But second of the two factors that made this sighting so memorable was the boyfriend with her….who seemed like the most wholesome imaginable guy around.  He didn’t smoke, but he nonetheless accompanied his little girlfriend outside for her cigarette break….and managed to stand to her right in just the direction the wind was blowing, meaning every time she exhaled the smoke took a straight line into his face.  I couldn’t help but think while watching this that he might have been the Mankato version of me….the wholesome-looking nonsmoking fetisher who dates harder-edged smoker girls and goes out of his way to accompany them on smoke breaks and stand in the headwind of their cancerous exhales.  Whatever the case, when she finished her cigarette she dropped it in the ashtray in front of the mall and walked back inside with the boyfriend.

And at some point right in the middle of that sighting, I got caught off-guard and out of the corner of my eye directly in front of where I was inside the mall entryway, I spotted a pack of Marlboro Lights being extracted from the jacket pocket of a young female.  Instinctively liking what I was seeing, I abandoned the sighting just described for a moment to see what was in front of me.  Lo and behold, it was the most beautiful girl of the day.  We’re talking a 10 on the scale of beauty and a 10 on the scale of wholesomeness….a truly adorable long-haired goddess whose curly locks were on the border of dark blond and light brunette who looked to be in her early-to-mid 20s…with the tanned skin of a girl who looks like she just got off the beach in the middle of July rather than stepping out of a Minnesota shopping mall in December.  She placed the all-white cigarette in her lips, cupped her hands around her lighter, and fired up.  Seeing a cigarette between the lips of a girl like this is exactly the reason a guy like me endures this level of stalkerdom to seek out fetish gratification.

She was standing in the company of someone else, who I had yet to even process who the other party in the duo was, until I leaned forward and saw it was a gray-haired middle-aged woman with absolutely zero sex appeal.  I’m assuming it was the goddess’s mother, but it’s hard to imagine this girl and that woman being from the same gene pool.  From this angle, I didn’t see a cigarette in mom’s hand, but since they were hovering in front of the mall, I was giddy for an extended sighting thinking that they were waiting for a car to come out front and pick them up.

Unfortunately it was not to be, as the two of them started walking towards the parking lot in seconds.  At that point, I saw that mom had a cigarette in her hand too.  As I watched the goddess walk away, I observed she had a fairly routine winter coat and dark jeans that were reasonably sexy but were nonetheless a little too subdued to live up to her otherwise dripping sex appeal.  Nonetheless, as the two of them walked off into the sunset, I’d get one more treat as I watched from behind as their respective cigarettes approached their lips.  In seconds, a blast of smoke emerged from both women’s faces at the exact same time and drifted above them for a few moments in the cold winter air.  As generic of a middle-aged lady as mom was, I’m nonetheless forever in her gratitude for producing a daughter of this caliber and turning her into a smoker to boot.

#4. I had scored a couple of delicious appetizers at the River Hills Mall in Mankato on Saturday, December 9, 2011, already, but here was the first of the day’s sightings that truly made me stand up and take notice.

Walking on the sidewalk directly in front of the main entrance to the mall, I saw what I assumed was a middle-aged couple and two fairly young kids (in the 7-10 range) approaching.  The reason I assumed it was a middle-aged couple was because the guy appeared to be a 40-something regular joe….who definitely didn’t seem likely to be in the company of a young hottie for a girlfriend or wife.  Nonetheless, the gal walking next to him (with the two kids running around them (one of whom I swear used the word “mommy” in those opening moments) looked pretty damn good from a distance as I approached.

She already had a cigarette smoldering in her hand and was deftly juggling that cigarette between her fingers as she put on her gloves, alternating the cigarette from one hand to the next as the gloves went on.  With each step closer, the younger she looked.  And as I got close enough to finally visualize her, it was obvious this girl was NOT the mother of the 7-10-year-old kids in their company.  She looked at most 22, was an absolute knockout of a wholesome brunette in dark jeans and a fairly conventional winter coat.  But as out of place as this girl-next-door looked with that cigarette in her hand, she looked even more out of place in the company of this shlub walking next to her, who was at least twice her age and nowhere near her league.  And the beauty part….he wasn’t smoking at all…..

After passing them, I just had to turn myself around and follow this unusual family.  Looking from behind, I decided I needed another look at her face to see if she was really as young and as attractive as she first seemed.  In seconds, she cooperated by turning towards him as he spoke to her and I got my answer….she definitely was THAT pretty.  Either this girl was the guy’s daughter and the young kids were part of a proverbial “second family”….or he’s one lucky bastard of a middle-aged guy who walked away from his original wife after landing himself a college-age smoker babe.  Either way, it was one delicious dynamic to observe, especially as the two of them were calling out to the rambunxious kids to stick closeby as they roamed around in front of them.

As for her smoking style.  It’s sometimes hard to tell when walking behind girls how good of smokers they are, but she cooperated on this front too.  On three different occasions, she took a drag and then turned her head to the right away from the guy and exhaled.  Wintertime exhales are often exaggerated by the fact that you’re seeing your own breath half the time, but exaggerated or not, it was unbelievable to witness as a geyser of smoke erupted out of her mouth and nose like the exhaust pipe of one of those early 1970s diesel cars….just an absolute cloud of cancerous carcinogens coming out of her stinky little face.

Like I said, I got to see this three times and was fortunate enough that they were walking on the sidewalk in front of the mall for the duration of her cigarette, allowing me to witness the entire show.  I positioned myself in front of her as I knew she was approaching the end of her cigarette and would lean against a pillar outside the Barnes and Noble bookstore looking up as she took her final drag from the cigarette.  She spotted me looking at her and probably decided I was looking a bit too familiar at this point, but crushed out the cigarette on the sidewalk and kept walking while talking to her father/lover.  The wind caught the cigarette butt and it rolled straight into a crevice along the curb.  I walked up to the curb and identified the butt as a cork-filter Camel Blue and then looked to the horizon as she continued to drift away with the guy old enough to be her father.

#3. It was a decent Saturday afternoon in late September as I was fetishing at central Iowa’s most upscale mall.  Right off the bat, the day was shaping up nicely and would become my best day ever in two years of fetishing at this mall.  The high point of the day came when I saw a dark brunette smoking from across the street, moved her direction just as she was finishing her cigarette, and instead became embroiled in a second sighting taking place on a separate bench a few feet away.  I took note of this cute but nerdy looking brunette sitting on the bench with the final few drags left of a cigarette as I followed through with getting a better look at the original girl inside the mall…

After getting a closer look at her, I turned around and went out the mall entrance I just came through to see if that cute nerdy girl was still smoking.  And my timing couldn’t have been more perfect.  I saw a fresh, unlit cigarette in her hand the second I walked out and was already giddy that she was gonna smoke a second one back-to-back, but it would end up being even better than that.  Just as I sat down on the bench for my front-row seat, she placed the unlit cigarette in her mouth and used the smoldering butt of her other all-white to light up the new one.  Not sure if her lighter was broken or what, but she then flippantly dropped the first cigarette to the pavement without bothering to crush it out, ignoring the ashtray that was literally two feet next to her.  But I’ve only begun to describe the optics which made this sighting so yummy…

First, the girl herself.  She wouldn’t have stood out in the crowd for me had she not been smoking because the artsy/nerdy girl usually doesn’t, but looking at her there was no denying that she was pretty and had a killer body in her tight jeans.  And knowing the intensity of her addiction to nicotine made her all the more unconventionally sexy.  Beyond that, there was a nonsmoking boyfriend sitting next to her.  The guy also had an air of upscale nerdiness to him, and I’m guessing he was either a mall worker or dressed up for something special because he was wearing a black suit with a silky red tie underneath.  Best yet, he sat there waiting patiently for his stinky girlfriend to suck down two cigarettes in a row, and the whole time, he has hit hand adorably resting on her thigh in those skin-tight jeans, with her free hand resting upon his hand.  It was the cutest smoking girl/nonsmoking guy dynamic I’d seen since the teen Taylor Swift lookalike at the 2010 Iowa State Fair (ISF #12).

The girl’s technique wasn’t necessarily distinctive, but I was always captured by just how much she was visibly enjoying that cigarette.  There wasn’t a definitive “pleasure zone” look on her face, and the way she persed her lips to exhale that smoke inside her black lungs after about four seconds of holding really gave away that she was experiencing definite physical pleasure. ….

I sat there watching her smoking the entire cigarette before she once again dropped it to the pavement in front of her, ignoring the ashtray beside her and leaving two all-white butts to pollute the mall’s immediate exterior.  At least she bothered to use her foot to crush this one out unlike the last one.  In seconds, she and the boyfriend got up to go inside the mall, giving me my only chance to see her amazing ass in those tight jeans.  This short-haired brunette who would not have traditionally caught my eye suddenly had me licking my lips I was so turned on.  But this cutie had one more surprise for me as I walked over to her bench to swipe those two discarded butts.  The second I saw the print I could tell that she was smoking Camel Pink No. 9’s.  I walking on the clouds thinking I could just as well go home now because nothing else I’d see that day would be in that league.

#2.  Another two-sightings-for-the-price-of-one stunner from that incredible day at River Hills Mall in Mankato.  I went through the Barnes and Noble store from the inside and exited to another huge storyline sighting as I stumbled right into a 22-ish long-haired blond in a white jacket and gray dress slacks standing right outside the door smoking a cigarette.  She was being approached a middle-aged guy who I first thought was a complete stranger but then came to realize was a guy she knew.  The girl wasn’t among the classic beauties that I saw that day but she was still a solid 7.5 on the beauty spectrum with a great slender figure and a “professional” air about her….and the long all-white cigarette between her finger was the definite outlier to this wholesome image.  Nonetheless, the conversation I overheard was the pinnacle of this sighting, and I’ll paraphrase it as best as possible….

Blonde to Middle-aged guy:  “Yeah actually I just graduated.”
Middle-aged guy:  “So what are you doing now?”
Blonde:  “Here today….or in life?”
Middle-aged guy:  “Long term”
Blonde:  “For the time being, I’m just gonna work here.  There’s no jobs out there!”
Middle-aged guy:  “Yeah I’ve heard it’s rough”
Blonde: (whispering in exasperation) “It’s terrible!  But I love it here….which is good because I might be here until I’m 80!”
Middle-aged guy:  “Oh it’ll get better”

Now keep in mind that as this conversation was taking place, she was taking intermittent drags from that smelly cigarette between her fingers, talking to this guy twice her age who wasn’t smoking.  The two were on the cusp of parting ways and bid adieu by saying “We’ll talk to you later, Krista”.  I love when I get a name to go with the stink!

My guess is this unlikely duo’s relationship was either based upon his being a regular customer at Barnes and Noble and getting to know “Krista” simply by his prominence in the store….or that he’s a professor or somehow connected to Mankato State University where Krista undoubtedly attended classes.  Whatever the case, few things more delicious than a 50-something guy chatting it up with a smelly college girl on her cigarette break.  Unfortunately moments after the guy left, Krista took the last couple of drags from her cigarette and extinguished it only halfway through.  The yummy part….she crushed the cigarette out on the storefront of Barnes and Noble.  She threw the cigarette into the trash can next to her and then walked back inside.  Naturally, I was curious as to what her brand was and was hoping to walk up and spot it in the garbage can, but fate had a different course of events for me to endure as the second I was about to approach the trash can, a couple exited Barnes and Noble and occupied the same spot where Krista was standing…..

The couple at first did not seem promising.  The guy was another average joe, a bearded dude who looked 45 or older, and who lit up a cigarette immediately.  Right behind him was yet another gal who not only looked much younger than he did, but seemed way out of his league.  She was a dark brunette with shoulder length hair, a sexy black leather jacket, and a pair of jeans that fit her slender bottom perfectly.  Looking at her, I originally suspected she was about 25 and without the context of the middle-aged husband I probably would have stuck with that assessment….but given that that much age difference didn’t seem credible considering how much of an average joe he was, I gave her a closer look.  It’s plausible she was my age in her mid-30s, but if she was, she was the perfect profile of what any guy would dream their future wife would look like in her mid-30s….shapely and incredibly youthful.  And her mid-30s dream girl image was about to get even more deliciously defined in the moments ahead….

She was looking over the receipt from Barnes and Noble and I was suspecting that no cigarettes would be smoked by her given that the husband had already been smoking for at least a minute and she showed no signs of following up with one of her own.  But just as I was about to give up hope, I saw a cork filter coming from out of nowhere being inserted in her lips.  She lit it up, and as giddy as I already was, I got even giddier as she kept the cigarette planted in her mouth and then performed an epic dangling drag.  And from there it only got better as she proceeded to torture her cigarette with absolutely savage brutality.  The cigarette went into her mouth and her lips got hold of it, with absolutely zero mercy towards its release for the next 5-6 seconds.

And from there, things got even better as she often did talking exhales when in discussion with the husband, with spurts of smoke sneaking out of her face for a few seconds and then a final blast of still-unexhaled smoke even after she was done talking.  Honestly though it was her exhales that were not talking exhales that impressed most.  I’ve never encountered a girl who managed to make their exhales last as long as their rapist drags.  Again, the breathy winter air undoubtedly contributed to the volume of her clouds, but I’m talking about 6-7 seconds of steady and voluminous exhaled smoke coming out of her beautiful mouth.  You know when a jet is flying overhead on a clear blue day and leaves a white vapor trail behind it for miles and miles?  Every time this girl exhaled it felt like I was seeing a 30-mile long vapor trail in the sky with her face serving as the jet engine producing it.  Where in God’s name was all this smoke coming from?  And how does a girl who’s probably early-to-mid 30s manage to look so incredibly youthful if she smokes her cigarettes this hard?  And this was her routine EVERY drag…with me being fortunate enough to witness every one of them from about 10 feet away.

And right in the middle of this brunette’s display, out steps a middle-aged couple with a very familiar looking blond.  It was Krista!  Here I just thought she was on a work shift and came out on a smoke break, but every indication was that she was there with the family as she followed the middle-aged couple to the parking lot.  How adorable to imagine that these very conservative-looking parents are gonna be cramped in the interior of their car with their stinky college-age daughter Krista?  And ideally with her smoking another cigarette on the ride home.  Have I mentioned lately that I really love cigarettes and the females who smoke them?

Back to the odd couple….after witnessing my favorite dark brunette rape her cigarette and somehow avoid lifting into orbit after those monstrous exhales, they crushed out their cigarettes with their fingers and tossed them in the garbage can before walking towards the parking lot themselves.  This was finally chance to see if I could look into that garbage can and identifying their cork-filter brands and Krista’s longer all-white brand.  Unfortunately, I was unable to do either and pressed on….but it’s hard to cry too hard after seeing back-to-back sightings of that caliber!

#1.  Back in May, on one of the first genuinely warm days of the season in central Iowa, I had a fairly successful Saturday outing at my favorite area mall, and it was the final moments while driving the last couple loops around the mall of the day in my car that produced the day’s most electric moment.  Driving around the parking ramp in the rear of the mall which leads to three mall entrance points, I could see attractive female smokers on the distant horizon at both entrances but was not in a position to get a very good look at either.  I then drove past the food court entrance and was struck by the babe I saw….an 18ish dark brunette chatting on her cell phone and decked out in a very contrasting outfit.  Her hair was a very dark brown bordering on black and she wore a pair of badass sunglasses tamed down by a pink frame surrounding the lenses.  Better yet, she was wearing a cutesy summer dress….covered by a black leather jacket.  It wasn’t quite the leather jacket-white shorts combination from 2010’s Minnesota State Fair Great White Whale, but I was nonetheless impressed looking through the rearview mirror to admire that outfit as I drove off.  The girl looked like a smoker I guess, but for whatever reason it never fully occurred to me that she might have been about to smoke at that moment.

Thankfully, I decided to make the same loop around the parking lot again, but in the interest of hoping to catch a better glimpse at the two girls at the other entrances who were smoking just out of my sight.  Thank God I made that same loop again!  I made the second loop around that parking ramp, once again failing to get a better look at either of the two confirmed smoker girls I was seeking.  I had resolved to failure and planned to finish the quick loop and then move on, but needless to say that didn’t happen in the final stretch of the loop when I spotted Miss Leather Jacket and Summer Dress seated on the bench nearest the food court entrance smoking a cigarette.  Damn…I had to get a better look at this.  I parked my car at the nearest spot and approached a side vantage point where I wouldn’t be noticeable.

She continued to be on her cell phone as she smoked, and a car pulled up driven by a guy and she approached to talk briefly, no cigarette in sight.  She talked for about 30 seconds before returning to her bench.  For some reason I sensed the cigarette hadn’t been exhausted yet and was proven correct in the most adorable way.  She picked the smoldering cigarette off of the filthy pavement where she left it and placed it back in her mouth.  My heart melted but amazingly the best was still yet to come.  She placed the cigarette to her mouth and took a drag…and then another…and then another.  Very rarely do I get supersmoking sightings, but this girl was practically breathing with her cigarette here.  Now the drags were quick and followed by rapid exhales….we’re not talking about triple-pump drags or anything here.  But I kid you not, there were six drags taken in the course of about 20 seconds before she crushed out the cigarette and tossed the butt into the ashtray in front of her.

What was her big hurry, I thought to myself, and got my answer in mere seconds as she reached down to a wrapper in front of her and started removing a sandwich from it.  My jaw opened in shock at the realization that she had been letting her lunch get cold all this time because her cigarette was of greater importance.

I was so thrilled and intrigued with this girl at this point but was not satisfied with my positioning and decided I could approach her general area and then simply lean against the wall pretending to be text messaging while eyeballing her…..and proceeded to do just that.  It didn’t take her long to finish that sandwich as I sat there, and looking at her she bore a striking resemblance to a couple of girls, one of whom was a regular at the skate park in my neighborhood and who smoked heavily, and the other was a chain-smoking girl I dated in 2009 (who also happened to be a bounty hunter!!!).  Obviously this girl, who looked about 19, was not my bounty hunter, but her look definitely had some déjà vu, especially with those sunglasses.

Now the thought had crossed my mind, albeit the back of my mind, that this girl would finish her sandwich and crave another cigarette, but I thought that after all the hotness this girl had already provided that I couldn’t be greedy enough to actually pull for that scenario.  Nonetheless, not five seconds had passed before she took the last bite of her sandwich before a black pack of cigarettes was produced.  She opened the pack of what I assumed were Camel Crushes and extracted another cigarette, lighting herself up for the second time in less than 10 minutes…and that was with a sandwich in between smokes.  This girl is very good at time management.

Her drags continued to be frequent, but her hold times were nonexistent.  The smoke was undoubtedly being inhaled judging by the reasonably impressive cloudiness spewing from both her mouth and nose but only a couple of seconds passed between the drag and the smoke rolling from her cute face, indicating to me she was either a very eager beginner or else a girl so desperate to fill her body with more cigarette smoke that she didn’t want to linger too long with any single drag.  Unfortunately, she proceeded to open up her pack a couple minutes later and I knew was coming next.  She stubbed out the half-smoked cigarette and dropped the rest in the pack to smoke later before getting up and walking into the mall, giving me one last chance to admire that incredible combination of black leather jacket and summer dress.  It was about 75 degrees and fairly humid at this point, so I can’t imagine how hot she must have been inside that leather jacket, bless her heart.  I proceeded to the now abandoned ashtray in hopes of determining the butt from the first cigarette she smoked but couldn’t determine which one was hers so abandoned the scene.  Still, what an amazing trajectory this sighting took, and was my standout mall sighting from 2011!

My top-10 random sightings list and my top-25 fairgrounds sightings of 2011 are coming in the days ahead.

This entry was posted in Potpourri and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Top-5 Mall Sightings of 2011

  1. jake says:

    I’d like to see a top cork 100 smokers!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s