When you look at the dire statistics of smoking these days that suggest tobacco use is in absolute collapse, it’s pretty incredible that I continue scoring quality sightings of young female smokers to the extent that I do at my fairs. While there is some evidence of a general trajectory of decline and a modest (and annoying) presence of electronic cigarettes, traditional old tobacco cigs continued to rule the world at my three main fairgrounds venues, all of which delivered again this year. In the previous two years, I began to worry about the Iowa State Fair as it was beginning to slump as a venue, but it came roaring back with a vengeance this year delivering a flurry of great sightings. I even squeezed in a third day at the Iowa State Fair this year due to a scheduling anomaly, the first and likely only time in the foreseeable future I’ll have that much Iowa State Fair time. The extra day helped me score an all-time high bounty of sightings during the 2014 fair season with 790. And it’s a pretty solid list throughout as well as I had no problem singling out 25 sightings worthy of year-end recognition, and frankly had a couple of sightings to spare that in a lesser year would also have made the list. I had three grand slam homeruns among the 2013 list, but only had one this year that I would give that tip-of-the-upper-tier designation to, but it’s an unforgettable sighting of the kind you’re very happy to get once a lifetime let alone once a year. With that said, let’s get to the best of 2014…..
#25. Minnesota State Fair Day 1, Sightings #20-22
My first day at this year’s Minnesota State Fair got off to a very slow start. A good four hours had passed and it was early afternoon when I finally scored my first extra base hit on a triple-bang sighting. I always encircle the beer gardens block multiple times a day as it usually accounts for a good quarter or more of overall Minnesota State Fair sightings on any given day, but only in the last few years have I bothered with the alleyway that separates the square block of restaurants and bars on the beer gardens block and the sheep building. While the alleyway has delivered a couple of modest sightings in years past, it exploded that day with three great sightings that played out simultaneously. As I ventured onto that block, I immediately noticed a dark blond early 20s girl in the company of a guy, both in costume probably for some dance show they put on inside one of the bars. The girl’s costume had a fully exposed midriff and a solid 10 inches of her bare belly was on full display. Unfortunately, she was not positioned in a place where I was able to watch from closeby but I was able to see a few nice drags from afar. But the real action in the alleyway was still yet to come….
I noticed an unattractive 20-something brunette smoking along a cement ledge on the alley where dozens of people were sitting to rest across the entire block. But standing next to her was a wholesome-looking blond with a ponytail and a headband….and she was smoking too! My first impression judging from her face, body type, and presentation was that she was about 16, but a closer look and the fact that she had a stroller with a one-year-old inside confirmed to me she was probably at least 20. Still, what a profile with the girl’s pretty and wholesome face combined with her Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles T-shirt (seriously!) and her dark blue capris sucking on a freshly lit cigarette…..
And she was a big-time smoker as well, taking very nice and long drags followed by absolutely tremendous 6-7-second hold times. The exhales suffered for this as with most smokers who hold the smoke in for a long time, the smoke clung to her lung tissue rather than coming out of her face in force, leaving fairly shallow trickles of smoke to empty out of her mouth and nose in the distant aftermath of her drags. And she was also a chronic spitter, dropping no fewer than five lugies during the course of her cigarette and always shortly after drags. I tried to discipline myself to snap fewer photos given how risky they are but couldn’t resist snapping one of her at a reasonably close distance and in mid-drag. There were two other young boys in close proximity that seemed like they knew the blond smoker even though they didn’t leave with her. Whatever the case, what an incredible role model she was for them and the baby in the stroller who gets to see mom smoking so unapologetically and constantly spitting while doing so. These are some young lads well on their way to having a smoking fetish….
And while blondie was smoking and spitting her way through her all-white, I looked to my right to find another gal taking a smoke break. And not just any gal, a very hot early 20s brunette who just might have been the biggest babe of the day. I suspect she was another worker at one of the bar and grills as she was wearing a ball cap that most likely identified the name of her employer on the fairgrounds. The rest of her outfit was a black tanktop and black leggings that framed a perfect young female body. Her smoking style was more traditional and less ferocious than the blond spitter, still with very nice drags but with much cloudier exhales. For a good two minutes, I was standing in the middle of them (I figure they were about 20 yards apart) and literally turning my head back and forth, to the left to watch blondie take a drag and hock up a lugie, and then to the right to see the beautiful brunette standing all by herself and taking a drag while monkeying around on her phone. After more than four hours of drudgery thus far in the day, it was the first time I felt alive on August 23, 2014.
Unfortunately, the brunette cut her cigarette short, crushing it out and leaving the final third for later, denying me the butt ID, before walking off. But the blond was still smoking and ended up dropping her cigarette to the pavement and preparing the stroller to head back into the fairgrounds. Oddly, the young boys who were talking to the blond didn’t go with, but the unattractive brunette with her did tag along, the two women and the baby wheeling into the busy crowd with no indication except perhaps a residual tobacco stench signifying that such a wholesome young gal had just defiled herself with a cigarette. I had no problem IDing her all-white discarded butt as a Camel Crush.
#24. Iowa State Fair Day 1, Sighting #95
After two disappointing years in a row, my first day at this year’s Iowa State Fair was an unqualified success and one place that was really a gold mine this year, particularly after dark, was the east side beer garden area. I made a pass through the area around 9:30 p.m. and when I saw an open bench across the street I thought it was a good opportunity to put those gel-filled inserts into my shoes that lessen the impact on my feet late in the day. As happens almost every year at every fair, this choice brought about a great sighting. At the bench next to mine was a mother with a stroller, and from out of nowhere this early 20s brunette hottie in short shorts comes running over and lowers her face into the stroller to make baby talk with the child she referred to as “little buddy”. It took a couple of seconds but I noticed a partially smoked cigarette in the hand of the girl and I almost needed a diaper change of my own based on my bodily response. She talked to the mediocre-looking mother for a minute and never did take a drag from her cigarette while in the presence of the baby, but before leaving once again leaned over to make baby talk with the infant, and surprisingly the baby didn’t scream a fit after being exposed to her ashtray mouth from such close range…..
Up to that point it was too dark for me to fully appreciate this girl’s features until she cooperatively walked back across the street closer to the beer gardens and relit the cigarette that apparently went out. She also met up with two nonsmoking female friends, also in the 21-22 range and both attractive, but my smoker girl was the hottest and very obviously the alpha female of the group, doing the vast majority of the talking as she attended to her cigarette. Her presentation was killer, in a country girl blouse and daisy dukes that gorgeously framed her chiseled ass and crotch, with a pair of smooth legs and cowgirl boots that were just the perfect touch to complement her image. Her smoking style complemented her demeanor as well….high-strung and a little flaky. She would say something to the friends and then start looking around with a confused look on her face. Perhaps she was halfway intoxicated or perhaps she’s just this way no matter what, but whatever the case her ADD-style drags were followed up by disorganized and sloppy exhales that drifted wherever they may, once into the face of one of the nonsmoking friends. I got to see about five of these drags before she dropped the cigarette and crushed it out. When it came to ID it I figured I stumbled into a Marlboro Red, but there was some lines on the filter that aren’t consistent with Reds, even though the light black Marlboro print above the filter sure suggested it was. Must be one of the dozens of Marlboro Red variations floating out there these days. Whatever the case, the east side beer gardens delivered again, and not for the last time that evening!
#23. Local County Fair, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday Nights
Back in the summer over the nights this girl’s sighting played out, I was frustrated with my bad luck and bad locations that prevented me from scoring the caliber of sighting I knew she was capable of, and for that reason didn’t expect I would include her in the year-end top-25 fairgrounds list. But then I realized after the fact that girl whose storyline played out primarily over Wednesday and Friday nights also had a cameo on Tuesday night, and when adding together her body of work over three nights, I just had to include her despite the inconvenient logistics…
I was really on a tear around 10:30 on Tuesday night, the opening night of the local county fair, and scored another of a string of quality sightings when I exited the midway area and spotted a trio of late teen dudes in the company of a hot blond. The blond was a beauty and her gray tanktop and dark jean shorts covering a perfect ass was my kind of summer outfit and when I noticed she was holding an unlit cigarette in her hand, she just gave off the irresistible aura of a good girl corrupted. I followed the foursome to an isolated seating area outside a closed-down-for-the-night 4-H food stand where the girl and one of the guys sparked up their cigarettes. It was adorable seeing her put her legs up on the barrier in front of her as she sat on the bench smoking, and smoking very nicely producing very cloudy exhales visible even amidst the dark backdrop. Unfortunately, I strongly suspect I was spotted early and often glaring at this group as I caught them making eye contact with me several times. After a few moments of this they got up and left. I stealthly walked around a building and kept tabs on them for a bit, but eventually they walked out of sight. The logistics just weren’t good enough on this one which was unfortunate because the girl was impressive.
Fast forward to Wednesday night around the same time of evening and I was keeping tabs on a girl who I had just seen smoking who migrated just inside the carnival with her friend and at one point I noticed there was a gorgeous 18-ish blond in a light blue blouse and short white shorts lingering with them and brandishing a freshly lit cigarette. I just had to get a closer look at this! But when I got to a decent vantage point, the cigarette was no longer in her hand. What happened? Some shrimpy black kid who looked about 14 was standing next to her and held a cigarette of his own, and he presumably let her have a drag of his. D’oh! And the girl was an knockout to boot, frustrating me that I missed however brief of a show as it was. At the time I didn’t even realize it was the same girl from the previous night, but her more colorful presentation this evening managed to up her sex appeal even higher. Thankfully, I hadn’t seen the last of her on Wednesday night…
The county fair’s final treat for me on an extremely successful Wednesday night came in the final moments before I left, a girl who I got the briefest of appetizers from about 45 minutes earlier. It was the hot blond in the blue blouse and skimpy white shorts who was briefly in possession of a cigarette but apparently relinquished it to a shrimpy black male. Only now she was standing amidst a crowd of males her age (right around 18) and had a freshly lit cigarette all her own between her fingers. The good news is that she was positioned in between two food stands in the center of the grounds and there was an open bench I was able to sit and get a pretty good look. The bad news is she kept drifting in and out of my line of vision, either getting obstructed by one of the guys or walking off in front of one of the stands where I couldn’t see her. The even worse news is that she was an agonizingly slow smoker, going an eternity between drags. But amidst all this waiting I was still able to have my heart positively broken admiring her wholesome blond beauty (it would be hard to construct a more perfect Midwestern girl) in those snug white shorts showing off so much beautiful leg. I finally got to see one drag–sort of–but I caught most of a hugely cloudy exhale positioned skyward. I had assumed this girl was probably a social smoker up to that point, but was starting to question that now. And further developments on the sighting would cause me to question my first impression even more….
There was an old man smoker who I thought worked one of the food stands who came out for a smoke several times that evening and throughout the fair. He was hovering near those food stands with an unlit cigarette in his mouth and happened to make eye contact with my gorgeous blond smoker. Blondie warmly said to him “Good night. We’ll see you tomorrow!” as if she knew him. Maybe she did, but either way it was adorable to have this delicate flower of a smoker girl communicating with another smoker old enough to be her grandfather. After the old timer faded from the scene, it was more of a mangled mess with excrutiatingly long wait times between drags, but a blond guy that may or may not have been her boyfriend who was also smoking a cigarette put his arm around her shoulder, the two of them standing there with cigarettes protruding from their fingers. Honestly, my hands would instead have been all over her ass in those white shorts, but hey, that’s me. Anyway, I kept waiting for a drag to transpire but it just never did…and then the girl walked in front of one of the food stands and drove me absolutely nuts as all I could see was the cigarette held between her fingers while she was there. I did get something else fascinating though….the name. The same blond guy who had his arm around here was talking some kind of jive amidst the group and then shouted her direction, “Isn’t that right Sarah?!?!” Since the blond beauty was the only girl around, “Sarah” had to be my favorite cigarette-wielding hottie. And the same guy quickly afterwards talked to another guy in the group who had lit up and asked “So you’re smoking cigs now too?” indicating to me this whole group was more than mere social smokers….
But it became clear I wasn’t gonna get to see anything else from my vantage point on the bench and I also had no realistic chance of getting a butt ID amidst this giant crowd, so I decided my parting shot would be to linger in a standing posture parallel to the food stand she was standing in front of in hopes of catching one more drag. Good choice. Only seconds after I arrived, I finally got my first direct view of this babe smoking…and she delivered in spades. She took a nice rich drag, puckering her lips around that all while filter and ingesting the poisons into her perfect body before tilting her head skyward and releasing a spectacularly cloudy exhale. This girl was the real deal without question. Much as I wished I could linger, I just couldn’t and the best I could do was walk directly past her en route to the exit hoping she reeked of smoke, but I didn’t really get an identifiable odor off of her and simply called it a successful night on the almost completely emptied-out fairgrounds en route to my car.
Two nights later I’d get one more painfully imperfect encounter late on Friday evening after they shut the carnival down and limited the amount of territory I had to navigate. But the last girl who had anything good to show me Friday night was sweet Sarah wearing an outfit very similar to Wednesday night’s, a blue top and crazy sexy white shorts. Unfortunately, just like Wednesday, she was immersed in a thick huddle of teenagers in the middle of the grounds where I had no hope of getting a prolonged sighting. Grrrr! When I saw she had an all-white cigarette lit, smoldering only inches away from those exceptional white shorts, I really pushed my luck and made two or three passes by their group hoping I’d time it right and catch one of her infrequent drags. The best I could do was look from afar and see a plume of smoke rise from their group, knowing it came from her black lungs.
Oh Sarah! Why can’t you smoke in a place where a fetisher can actually see you?!?! If you did, I promise you that you’re good enough to be immortalized forever in my blog Hall of Fame! On my final loop around the area, however, Sarah was not smoking again but checking out her ass I took note of something I missed on previous passes. While her cell phone was clearly in the right back pocket of her shorts, her unidentifiable pack of cigarettes was in the left back pocket. Never have I been more jealous of a pack of cigarettes. Sarah’s inaccessibility kept her from being much higher on the list, but her overall body of work over three nights this year nonetheless qualified her for year-end acclaim. I’m hopeful I’ll be able to get a comprehensive sighting from her next summer though.
#22. Minnesota State Fair Day 1, Sightings #49-50
It’s sometimes frightening to look back and realize how close I can come from missing a great sighting, and in many cases probably have. But in the generally mediocre mid-afternoon hours of my first day at the Minnesota State Fair, a very savvy and timely observation helped me avoid missing one of my top-five sightings of the day. As I was heading to the northwest corner of the grounds to the new Heritage Center area just renovated this past year, I was crossing paths with two couples that included an early 20s blond in a black tanktop and white shorts with what looked like a lighter cupped in her right hand. I took a second look upon passing and felt certain that it was indeed a lighter, leading me to do a 18o-degree pivot and follow them. Now I’m a sucker for white shorts and I’m sure that’s what drew my eyes to that blond as I approached her, but as I turned around I noticed that the other girl in the foursome already had a cork filter cigarette going…..
She was an attractive 22ish light brunette in a blue blouse and jean shorts with smooth legs coming out from underneath. I didn’t have to wait long until she took a drag and I was in heaven to be following a scofflaw smoker girl in a smoking-forbidden part of the grounds. But just as I was getting settled in for her show, the blond cupping the lighter sprung my eyes back her way as she inserted an all-white cigarette between her lips and let it dangle for a few seconds while approaching her lighter to it. I got an uncharacteristically perfect snapshot of her with the cigarette dangling from her lips, along with a guy approaching her giving her the evil eye for smoking a cigarette where she wasn’t supposed to. I just get the feeling that neither blondie nor her friend much cared about his opinion or anybody else’s though….
Now both girls were about even in attractiveness, with neither being bombshells but both being above-average among modern smoking coeds. But based on presentation and smoking style, the blond won the round as far as I’m concerned, looking spectacular working those tight white shorts. She also took longer drags and produced much cloudier exhales than the friend, and no doubt a number of people who hate cigarette smoke were forced to wade through her smelly steam blasts in this very busy part of the grounds. I followed from the side, admiring both girls and capturing them both in mid-drag on a couple of occasions, adorably walking next to their nonsmoking boyfriends who are clearly both ready, willing, and able to endure these ashtray-mouthed young females up close and personally….
A weird pivot took place as they got about halfway towards the grandstand, and the foursome turned around and headed the other direction. I continued to follow when, unsurprisingly, the harder-smoking blond in the white shorts finished her cigarette first, dropping the all-white to the pavement which I easily identified as a Marlboro Light. I then found myself walking behind the light brunette who was still smoking, and at one point she turned around and made eye contact with me. I feared I had been busted but she didn’t say anything and pressed forward finishing off her cigarette while weaving through the large crowd. About a minute after the blond finished off hers, the light brunette littered hers on the pavement as well. I could tell by the markings while she was smoking that it was a Camel Menthol and confirmed that after she dropped it. It was such a relief to score my first sighting of the day worthy of my year-end favorites list, particularly since I came so close to walking right past it without noticing the smoking.
#21. Minnesota State Fair Day 2, Sighting #176
The biggest downside of the Minnesota State Fair is that I ride up (and back) with my parents so I have to operate to some degree on their timetable, which means a rigid departure time of 10:30 p.m. every visit. On this year’s second day at the MNSF, time was closing down on me and I was on the final quarter lap of the grounds with just a few minutes to go when I struck gold near the Heritage Center and the fair entrance on the northwest side of the grounds. In the previous two years, I’ve gotten a cigar sighting at my fairs worthy of my year-end best lists, but I waited until the literal last seven minutes of fetish time during the 2014 fair season to score one in 2014 as this wholesome-beyond-imagination 22-ish blond sat there Indian-style next to her boyfriend in a tanktop and jean shorts smoking a Black ‘N’ Mild cigar. And when I say wholesome-beyond-imagination, we’re talking a girl whose long blond hair flowed down her back in a braid! And the face matched the presentation. Just like last year’s 18ish braided cutie smoking a cigar at the Iowa State Fair, I was aghast to see a girl of this pedigree publicly smoking a cigar. She had yet to take a drag as I was making these early observations, so I was curious how she’d deliver when she did….
The half-smoked plastic-tipped cigar entered her mouth and she ingested a healthy snootful, creating an early stream of airborne cigar smoke just with her drag. But it was about five seconds later when she exhaled that the real cloud surfaced, mushrooming from her mouth into the night sky. I was positioned so perfectly that I was able to walk right through her exhaled cloud and smell the cigar stench, but as I was doing so, I almost missed her take a second drag from it, only a few seconds removed from exhaling the first one. Damn girl! The whole presentation was spectacular, with a wholesome boyfriend not smoking anything to her right and a family with young children to her left who had to have smelled her cigar odor as ripe and dirty as it was. I kept looking at the clock on my camera watching the minutes tick by, agonizing about having to walk away from this in a couple short minutes, and I savored the visual of this perky and innocent-looking blond with this smelly cigar in her hand talking to her boyfriend…..
The plan was to stick around for a couple more drags, and she delivered with a repeat of her first, an intense ingestion of cigar smoke into her lungs through that plastic tip, a good five seconds of compression time inside of her, and then a mushrooming exhale that exploded out of her face. I was ready to walk through it but learned my lesson from last time, waiting two seconds and watching her take a second drag immediately following, and then walking through her sublimely stinky exhale. What happened next was a semi-buzzkill. It seemed too good to be true that this wholesome blond was sitting there smoking a cigar by herself, and she confirmed my cynicism by handing the cigar to the boyfriend. Nooooo! The storyline was so much cooler when it was just her smoking the cigar in front of the boyfriend. The upside was that I now had a guilt-free escape from a sighting that would have destroyed me if I walked away from it while the girl was still smoking. And, of course, the more obvious upside was that I spent the final minutes of the 2014 Minnesota State Fair watching a gorgeous, wholesome blond girl with a giant braid going down her back smoking a cigar.
#20. Iowa State Fair Day 3, Sighting #62
Because of a fluke of the calendar and the fact that I moved some stuff around this year, I was able to go the Iowa State Fair for a third visit on a Saturday afternoon, and it was another excellent day. The grandstand entertainment for the evening was Lady Antebellum and Billy Currington and their concert was scheduled to start around 8. About a half hour before the show began, lots of country girls in short shorts were hovering around the grandstand entrances and I was looking for some with cigarettes between their fingers and was lucky enough to find one. Standing just off of the curb on the concourse and jumping out at me from a distance was a girl with a freshly lit cigarette between her fingers who was surrounded by nonsmoking elders. I hustled on up for a closer look as she was foraging through her wallet/purse where a visible pack of Marlboro Lights was front and center. And getting a closer look at her, she was at most 18, most likely a year or two younger with long, curly light brown hair, a black Lady Antebellum T-shirt (no mystery where she would be going in mere moments) and a nice pair of dark blue cutoffs cresting over smooth young legs and an unusual pair of boots. Typical country girl look right? Well, sort of….
The features of this girl and the nonsmoking younger girl next to her both struck me as at least partially Hispanic. Yet the cluster of nonsmoking adults the girls were standing with were as middle-aged white Iowan as they come, all joined together standing off the concourse curb so that the teenage girl in their company could smoke a cigarette. Now it’s vaguely possible that these girls were not Hispanic but I got a couple of photos and have studied them carefully and it seems almost certain to me the smoker girl has some Latina in her. Perhaps the daughters are adopted. I have no idea but whatever the family dynamic, it was an adorable smoking show….
The adults mostly talked to themselves but my Latina Marlboro teen was slowly enjoying that cigarette, taking nice enough drags but making that thing last a long time. She usually turned her head to the right when exhaling, avoiding the cluster of nonsmokers that almost certainly included her parents. And the sighting had one oddball little wrinkle as well that gave it additional character. Her cigarette wasn’t burning properly, which I noticed right away but which she didn’t seem to notice for a few minutes, with a long stretch of black paper that had burned but was clinging for its life onto her smoldering cigarette and refusing to come off. At first she showed the cigarette to the gal to her right who I assumed was her mother and how the burnt paper was clinging to it, and I’m sure mom was absolutely fascinated to see the deformity on her teenage daughter’s cigarette. After multiple aggressive attempts to ash the paper off, girly finally had to kneel down and rub the burnt paper onto the pavement and then stood back up and resumed smoking….
It was a nice long show and I wasn’t going anywhere until she finished it. Finally she did, and I waited another few minutes for them to head back into the grandstand when I stepped up and definitively IDed her butt as a traditional Marlboro Light rather than one of its offshoots. As I turned and watched the family enter the grandstand, knowing somebody was gonna be forced to sit next to that smelly daughter during the show, I speculated that this may have been the second girl adopted across racial/ethnic lines who I had seen smoking that day in the company of nonsmoking parents. I wonder if there’s something to that….greater likelihood of girls from adopted parents taking up smoking. I can imagine an increased permissiveness in such households for various reasons, but then again, it may just be a fluke. Fluke or not, said scenarios made for two of my favorite sightings on August 16, 2014, with this one by far the better of the two.
#19. Iowa State Fair Day 1, Sighting #73
I kept encountering detours of the best kind as I attempted to enter the midway on the first day at the Iowa State Fair right around 8 p.m. and made another shot at entering when I looked to the bathroom area at the edge of the midway on the southwest side that I was once again detoured in the best possible way. Yet another group of three guys and two girls were hovering there and I saw from afar that the epic beauty of the group was taking a pack of Newport 100s out of her purse. Iowa State Fair midway, you are gonna have to wait again!
I hustled into a perfect stalking post only a feet few in front of the group against the wall and watched this gorgeous brunette extract a cigarette from her pack. She was the most beautiful girl of the day, probably about 23 with very dark features to the point that I wondered if she had some Middle Eastern heritage despite looking generally caucasian. She was the shortest in her group at about 5’4” and the only smoker, decked out in a neon pink top and dark blue jeans. She had the look of a long-time heavy smoker and her technique matched the look as she placed the long Newport in her mouth and lit up. If there was any lingering doubt that there was something special about this girl, it vanished when she fired up and did an astounding triple pump dangle off of the light-up, gulping down three shots of tar and nicotine into her lungs before removing the cigarette and cutting loose with a skyward exhale that was cloudy as all hell….
There wouldn’t be any other drags quite that incredible, but her second drag also consisted of a dangling drag and as the shortest person in the group, her skyward exhale managed to whack one of the nonsmoking dudes squarely in the face. I couldn’t have been more content with my location here and settled in for a long show. It was approaching dusk so the two photos I took are a little blurry, and she was on the inside of her group and both photos were a little too crowded, but I did capture her in mid-drag in one of them. Her drags were all substantial, were all nicely paced, and her exhales all above-average in cloudiness, but there was one thing that didn’t fit…..the cigarette just kept on keeping on. I have no idea how she made it last as long as she did as her drags were hard and frequent, but she kept hitting that cigarette for yet another nicotine jolt every 30 seconds or so for an astoundingly long time.
She eventually dropped the cigarette and crushed it out in front of her, right in the middle of this mixed-gender friends group where she was the only smoker. It’s a good thing I saw she was smoking a Newport 100 before she lit up because the group wasn’t going anywhere for quite some time. I finally gave up and made that long-delayed midway run, and finally about three-quarters way through I saw this group inside the midway, especially that unmistakable dark brunette beauty in the memorable neon pink top, ready to enjoy the midway after filling her body with the nastiest chemicals she can legally consume.
#18. Iowa State Fair Day 1, Sightings #123-124
It was the manic late evening hours of the my first day at the Iowa State Fair, and I had spent a lot of time in the last hour focusing on one special sighting, but took some detours from that sighting and even those proved hugely productive. With time winding down for the evening as the clock approached 11:30, I had to take one last voyage past the east side beer gardens area, a block that had already delivered in spades that day but had one more magical moment in store for me before quitting time. The moment began with the evening’s final genuine “discovery”, a knockout 18ish dark brunette standing sans an adult beverage (good indication that she was as young as she appeared) near the beer gardens entryway smoking a cigarette in the presence of two nonsmoking guys. She was one of the half dozen or so smoker girl faces of the day that just leaped out at me that day because she was so beautiful and didn’t look like a smoker. Raising the stakes of this profile was her black tanktop and ultrafeminine pair of skimpy white shorts with a mesh, lace pattern on the front. It was quite a contrast to the freshly lit and stinky cigarette between her fingers….
Did her substance match her style on the smoking front, you ask? Yeah buddy! Her drags were intense and her exhales some of the cloudiest of the day, the drags featuring a trait I’ve only seen a few times before from hot young smoker girls….the gulp! After every drag, her cheeks inflated like a blowfish with inhaled smoke that she then gulped down before exhaling. This beauty was no amateur, and most adorably, there were two occasions where the taller nonsmoking guys she was with were on the receiving end of vicious secondhand smoke attacks as she looked up and talked to them while spewing her cancerous exhaust…..
Even after more than 12 hours of watching girls smoke that day, I was still capable of getting genuinely excited watching a performance like this, and had a nice vantage point to watch her consume nearly the entire cigarette, with long succulent drags she gulped down followed by giant cloudbursts of exhaled smoke that expelled the contents of her black lungs. The sighting ended with a flourish as well as the bar was playing some sort of dance music and my girl started to shake her booty with the music in a well-choreographed groove that made her feminine assets wiggle in the sexiest imagineable way, those feminine shorts of hers being particularly impossible for me to take my eyes off. She approached a food stand when she took her final drag and obnoxiously dropped her butt to the curb and I had no problem approaching it and identifying it as a Marlboro Black. Naturally, I figured she was gonna order food at the stand as most people do, but she was apparently just socializing with whoever was working there for a couple of moments. Why can’t I get smoker girls of her pedigree to start socializing with me?!?!? This girl and the two guys she was with started walking the same direction as I was headed and I followed for a couple of minutes admiring that ass, and got particularly intrigued when I saw her fidgeting around in her purse, expecting that perhaps another cigarette would be smoked. It never happened though and we parted ways soon after.
Now I chose to tell the narrative of the last girl in full because she was the highlight of my final walk to the east side beer gardens block, but there was oh so much more going on during that five-minute stretch. Right in the middle of watching the brunette, I spotted another smoker girl across the street approaching the entrance of the beer gardens in the company of a guy. She looked like she was in her mid-20s, dark blond, wearing a pink top and jean shorts. She was attractive but I had a choice to make to cross the street and pursue her or continue to watch my teen brunette and I chose the teen brunette. Still, I was able to witness from afar the nasty tricks this little hottie had up her sleeve. She was right on the precipice of the beer gardens with cigarette in hand, but she and the nonsmoking boyfriend stopped for a moment before going inside, and I presumed it was to let her finish her cigarette. So when they walked inside about a minute later, I took one more close look to confirm my suspicion that the cigarette was gone….but it wasn’t. Here was this adorable blond scofflaw walking deep inside the beer gardens building still criminally brandishing a cigarette. If only a sighting like this had transpired when I wasn’t distracted by an even hotter girl!
#17. Local County Fair, Wednesday Night
In the last couple of years, the smoking area outside the grandstand at my local county fair hasn’t delivered the way it routinely did five years ago, and the Wednesday night concert by country singer Craig Campbell had been another case in point until the last 15 minutes or so of the concert before I finally hit pay dirt, and boy did I ever, with one of the most confusing sightings I’ve ever gotten. This cute and petite little blond in a tanktop and jean shorts wandered out of the grandstand and lurked in the smoking area. She looked about 13 so I figured she was just waiting for somebody or preparing to send a text. Imagine my utter disbelief when about five seconds later an unlit cigarette was inserted into her lips and sparked up….
I continued to be skeptical though as her back was now towards me and I figured I must have just missed her face. She had to have simply been an older girl who looked really young, but she cooperated nicely and took a seat on a bench in the smoking area, sitting in the light and letting me have as good of a look at her face as I could possibly get. And sweet Jesus I could still swear she was not a day over 14. But that’s when the confusion started. Two much older guys followed her onto the bench and it was clear they were part of the same group. I didn’t get a good look at the guy who sat across from her with his back to me, but figured he was in his 30s. But the guy who sat next to her was this bearded, thuggish-looking young guy who looked about 22. All three of them were smoking cigarettes and I was carefully studying this odd dynamic for clues as to their association with one another…..
What I got was a contrasting litany of clues that continue to leave me scratching my head months later. The girl carried herself like a very new smoker, everything from the way she held her cigarette to her extremely shallow one-second drags and minimalist exhales. And adorably, she had a jug of Gatorade in front of her that she was taking sips from in between shallow drags on her cigarette. Everything about her smoking style screamed that she was exactly what she originally seemed, an early teen girl who just picked up the smoking habit. But right when I thought I had this situation figured out and was leaning back to enjoy a rare show of an adorable beginner early teen smoker, the thuggish bearded guy leaned over to give the girl a quick peck on the lips. I had dismissed the prospect of this guy being her boyfriend because he looked at least eight years older than she did, but the evidence was now pointing to him being just that. Was she considerably older than she looked? I just kept looking at that tender face right in front of me and simply couldn’t see it. There was just no way she was older than 14! But I couldn’t imagine this guy being any less than 21 and would be pretty shocked if he was carrying out a public relationship with a girl as young as she seemed given the obvious legal implications….
I never quit trying to figure this sighting out but it only got more confusing. After several minutes she crushed the cigarette out on the edge of the bench she was sitting on and dropped it to the grass. Show over right? Not by a longshot. I wasn’t paying as close of attention in the moments after she finished her cigarette but lo and behold when I looked over again she was already smoking another one, her smoking style continuing to consist of the shallowest imaginable drags and exhales. The presumed boyfriend smoked another as well, and also pulled in for another quickie kiss. But things just got insane after she finished the second cigarette and she reached to the pack of L & M and lighter in front of her to fire up a THIRD cigarette. Even with all the ambiguity about the girl’s age, I had still grown comfortable with the idea that she was a rookie smoker based on her rudimentary style, but now even that was in question. After all, how many rookie smokers smoke three cigarettes in a row over a 15-minute period. The confusion was killing me, but it was a good kind of killing to be sure….
In the moments to come, two hot smoker girls on the other side of the fence inside the beer gardens had lit up as well. It was darker on the other side of the fence so I didn’t get as excellent of a vantage point of the new girls as I did with the would-be 14-year-old cutie in the smoking area, but I was able to see that the girls were both hot and much more skilled smokers than the teenager with long, deep drags and cloudy exhales. It was not uncommon for me to be able to dart my eyes from the young girl outside the fence to the two 20-somethings inside the fence and see three consecutive drags, the cherries of their cigarettes glowing red one after another with a cloud of smoke spewed from their respiratory systems that were as black as the evening sky. It was far and away the highlight thus far of the smoking area from the two nights of concerts…..
And the show ended right around the same time as the two 20-somethings wrapped up their cigarettes and crushed them out while the younger girl who had by now smoked as many cigarettes combined as the two older guys in her company finished her third cigarette soon after. The concert was wrapping up and the trio got up to leave moments before Corey and I would depart, giving me one last look at this girl’s body which, again, looked like that of an early teen girl. So what was the most likely scenario here? Perhaps it was exactly as it seemed and a much older guy was dating this jailbait girl and corrupting her into being a smoker. But honestly I suspect he may have been a few years younger than I suspected and she may have been a few years older. You’ll occasionally run into girls, especially really petite girls, who look much younger than they are, but damn if this girl didn’t look like she was just getting ready to start the eighth grade next month. I didn’t see her on the grounds again Wednesday night and thus never got any more context to understand her story. Even with the confusion, it was my one of the better sightings at the local county fair this year.
#16. Minnesota State Fair Day 2, Sighting #21
My second day at this year’s Minnesota State Fair was a record attendance day, meaning the crowds were absolutely suffocating, especially by mid-afternoon, which was the time of day I headed east on Dan Patch Avenue where the first electric moment of the day awaited me. I made it a block east of the grandstand when I saw an early-to-mid-20s blond with a beer opening up her purse and taking out a pack of Marlboro Lights, wasting no time inserting a cigarette into her mouth. As crowded as the foot traffic was, I still was able to successfully pivot and keep up with her, and was in for one epically obnoxious show…..
She was adorable, with shoulder-length blond hair falling mostly on bare flesh as there wasn’t much fabric holding up her low-cut brownish tanktop. But I’ve always been more of a South America kind of guy and she dazzled down under with a pair of pale pink shorts. Now the girl had a little bit of meat on her bones….not chubby enough to be a factor for the overwhelming majority of guys but with her body type she’ll probably struggle to keep the weight off as she gets older. At age 22-23 or whatever she was, however, I was licking my chops at her presentation especially as I watched her take her first drag from her cigarette amidst this dense crowd. There were a couple of guys walking behind her who were with her, at least at the time not smoking. The density of the crowd had the potential to be a huge problem on the photo-taking front, but in this case I snapped the best photo I’ve ever gotten with the cigarette dangling from her lips. I had no need to attempt any additional photos after that masterpiece, which was good because I was about to be treated to the dangle of the year….
I kept pace with her after the photo and couldn’t help but notice that cigarette stayed perched in her mouth for a very extended period, at first seemingly out of convenience but eventually she began foraging through her purse for something and that dangle just continued and continued and continued. At least 30 seconds in, I was walking directly parallel to her and watched her pucker up her lips for a dangling drag. One would think the smoke would be rising into her nose and becoming uncomfortable but this girl clearly can handle however much smoke the tobacco companies can throw her way. Finally, after at least 45 seconds of dangling, the cigarette was removed from her mouth. How I would have loved to have kissed her to taste her ashtray mouth seconds after a dangle like that! Her group proceeded to the line for ears of sweet corn and asked some guy if where they were standing was really the end of the line. He responded that it was, and they decided against standing in line that long and proceeded back the direction they came from down Dan Patch Avenue. With the stifling crowds of humanity pressed together like pigs in a livestock barn, I knew it was only a matter of time before her thoughtless and unlawful smoking behavior would produce a casualty, and I was about to get one of my best reactions ever from someone on the receiving end of a cute girl’s exhale….
I watched from a rear side angle as blondie took a deep drag and as she prepared to exhale, this middle-aged guy literally cowered in anticipation of the exhale to the face he knew he was about to get. For whatever reason, seeing his face for that split second before he got whacked made me think of “Cringer”, the wimpy tiger from the He-Man and the Masters of the Universe cartoons in the mid-80s. Something tells me this “Cringer” will never transform into the Mighty Battle Cat like He-Man’s did, however. I marveled at the power of cigarettes that made this middle-aged guy cower in fear of what was spewing from the mouth of a short blond girl in pink shorts. As I pressed forward, girlie was in the final throes of the all-white she was making such quick work of, and by now one of the guys in her company had lit up in forbidden territory as well. In another minute or so, she dropped the cigarette to the pavement without crushing it out. I already knew it was a Marlboro Light having seen her remove it from the pack but I confirmed it again as I walked past the smoldering remains. This was easily the best sighting from early in the day and the best of the year in terms of a girl ignoring the designated smoking area rules. For the first time that day, I was genuinely feeling some adrenaline.
#15. Iowa State Fair Day 1, Sighting #40
In the previous two years, the daytime hours during my Saturday visit to the Iowa State Fair had been struggles, with quality material few and far between, but this year I scored three top-tier sightings during those daytime hours, all of which made this countdown, and set the stage for one of the best Iowa State Fair days ever. The middle of the Big Three sightings came on the south side of the grounds near the livestock buildings. As I was proceeding south, I crossed paths with an absolutely gorgeous early 20s ponytailed dark brunette walking with a female friend and holding a freshly lit real cigarette in one hand and an e-cigarette in the other. Huh? I immediately turned around and followed, admiring from behind her utilitarian, girl-next-door ensemble consisting of a white T-shirt and a pair of navy blue cotton shorts (not jean shorts), but the most adorable part of her ensemble was a pink baseball cap on her head from which her ponytail came out the back. She was an absolute knockout, and while it was sexy to see her in this everygirl outfit, I thought to myself how insanely hot this girl would look in her nightclub clothes….
Anyway, it was time to get to the bottom of this cig in one hand, e-cig in the other situation. She resolved it quickly by taking her first drag from the real cigarette, and it was a solid one with a nice long draw time and a cloudy, skyward-directed exhale that looked so incredible coming from such a pretty face. The e-cigarette situation was quickly resolved too as she handed it to the friend walking next to her who began “vaping” on it shortly after. Now the friend was a looker herself, a light brunette in a matching lavender top and spotted shorts, but it was definitely the right girl of the two to be smoking the real cigarette as the dark brunette was a much more classic beauty.
The girls continued to walk northward, and it was only after a couple of minutes that I realized they were walking with three guys in their group, none of whom were smoking. I was snapping pics left and right, some from behind and some from the side, all the while admiring the walking smoking show which always impressed, accompanied by healthy drags and cloudy, skyward exhales. The only blemish on the dark brunette’s beauty was an ugly tattoo on her left arm. Now I try not to let tattoos get in the way of my appreciation of a smoker girl sighting, but certainly if I’m trying to judge top-tier sightings and rate which one I like better, a lack of tattoo is a good tiebreaker. I heard one of the girls mention “stopping for a gyro” as they walked, and the sighting took its final stand near the gyro stand where the two girls stopped with the three guys and chatted as the brunette finished her cigarette….
I enjoyed a couple more drags while waiting, admiring her body in those shorts and especially that legendary face. And the sighting kept its best moments for last as she was about to take a swig of water from her bottle, but had to free her hands first which required her to hand the cigarette to one of the two nonsmoking guys. Here stood this guy, holding this moist, three-quarters smoked cigarette straight up and you could tell by the look on his face he was pretty grossed out by it. In a few seconds, the dark brunette reclaimed the cigarette and took her best drag yet, this intense six-second behemoth in which her face lit up with squinty-eyed pleasure as she inhaled a giant snootful of smoke into that wonderful young body. I was so caught up in the moment watching this that I almost missed my chance to snap a frontal pic of her dragging. Thankfully, the drag lasted so long that I got the snapshot in while her lips were still wrapped around the cork filter. The lighting on the pic isn’t as perfect as I’d prefer but it was still one of my best photos of the day. A couple more modest drags wrapped up the cigarette before she stomped it out on the pavement and everybody got in the nearby line for the gyro. It was a cinch for me to ID the discarded butt seconds later…..a Marlboro No. 27. I no longer had any cause to complain about this day’s sightings haul compared to the last two years at this time of the day, and little did I know I was just getting warmed up.
#14. Minnesota State Fair Day 1, Sightings #80-81
In the late afternoon hours of my first day at the Minnesota State Fair, I made one of my usual walking scans along the east side of the Coliseum building where a lot of smokers take a break in the afternoon shade but every attempt I was making to leave the area was sidetracked by the revelation of a new smoker girl. I had already tried and failed at my first attempt to leave the area and explore elsewhere and I was about to try and fail again. This time, as I headed northward I spotted two pretty young 18-19-year-old girls holding unlit cigarettes approach the back wall of the Coliseum to smoke their cigarettes in as isolated of a location as possible…
The girls wasted no time resting against the Coliseum wall when the brunette in the tie-dye T-shirt and short jean shorts got out her lighter and flicked her cigarette to life. The dark blond in the black tanktop and white shorts next to her, who already had her greedy hand sticking out, wasted no time taking the lighter and flicking her own cigarette to life. While neither girl would be “the hottest girl on campus” per se, they were both sexpots in their own way, pretty girl-next-door types who you’d never expect to smoke this day and age in the brutally inhospitable smoking climate of Minnesota. The relatively small numbers of young smoker girls I saw yesterday made them all the more scrumptious and I wasted no time snapping pics. After taking two pics that included both girls in the process of lighting up, however, I got a message that my photo album had reached its capacity and I’d have to delete existing photos to take additional ones. This was my cue to simply cross the street and take a bench overlooking them to enjoy the show, and what a show it was….
The girls were fast-paced and accomplished smokers, both hitting their nicotine targets copiously and feeding their fresh young bodies with cancerous tobacco and tar. The brunette was a slightly better smoker, producing cloudier exhales that burst out of her mouth and exploded like fireworks in front of her face. But the blond had more IT factor, smoking almost as nicely but winning me over with her more perfectly slender figure and her skimpy white shorts, which for me will always be a tiebreaker in favor of the white shorts wearer. Less than a minute into the sighting, a young mother added some color to the sighting by wheeling her baby by in a stroller. I was now across the street and couldn’t see how little the baby was, but the smoker girls went into full internal clock-ticking mode, oohing and aahing over the baby, with the mother making brief small talk with the foul-smelling teen girls as she walked past them, exposing her baby to the immediate presence of the girls’ carcinogenic exhales. After that sideshow passed, the girls kept smoking at a refreshingly fast pace, a haze of smoke hovering in front of both of their faces, especially the brunette’s whose exhales were heavier in general. I would have loved to have been sitting in front of them with my face right in the middle of that haze, but doing so would have prevented me from experiencing the upside of my long-distance view, which also produced something very special….
The proliferation of really short shorts has been one of the best developments of humankind in the last decade or so, and rarely was that more obvious than with these girls, who were both leaning up against the wall with their legs bent at the knee to form an upside-down V. From my vantage point, this positioning combined with the microscopic nature of their shorts gave me a perfect view of their calves right up to their ass dimples, and their well-toned teenage flesh couldn’t have looked more perfect. With both the brunette’s jean shorts and the blond’s white shorts, it felt like I was mere centimeters from a peep show of their girly parts, which was extremely exhilarating…
The girls wrapped up their cigarettes in less than five minutes, scaring me as they stubbed them out against the cement and proceeded towards the garbage can to dispose of them. I watched their perfect asses drift away but crossed the street to check out that trash can in hopes of butt identification (other type of butts!). I had thought I saw blond filters on the girls’ cigarettes as they approached, and sure enough right on top of the trash were two Camel Turkish Royal cigarette butts, albeit with slightly different coloring on the butts indicating there are different variations on the Turkish Royals and each girl smoked a different type. I sped up my walking pace in hopes of catching up with them but they were a little too fast and I lost them, breaking my heart. It was a little worrying how few girls their age were smoking that day, and it made me nervous that Minnesota’s high cigarette prices were having an effect in slashing smoker rates among this demographic, particularly wholesome-appearing girls like these. But it was refreshing to see girls like these two keeping the tobacco tradition relevant and dressing as sexy as humanly possible while doing so.
#13. Minnesota State Fair Day 1, Sighting #61
It was the late afternoon hours on my first day at the Minnesota State Fair, and I was perusing near a fairly desolate and heavily shrubbed smoking area on the east side of the fairgrounds where I had scored a decent sighting about an hour earlier. Well it delivered again as I saw this beautiful dark brunette seated on a bench next to a building all by herself smoking a cigarette. She was a knockout, a classic beauty with shoulder-length dark brown hair who didn’t look at all like a smoker. Venturing a guess, I’d say she was 21 give or take a year. I only had one problem with watching this sighting play out but it was a fairly serious one. The bench she was seated on resembled a patio attached to a building and there was a landscaping fence surrounding her. If I went inside the “patio” I’d really be encroaching upon her space, especially since she was the only one in there. But by standing outside looking in I was also awkwardly positioned and unable to get close enough to take a decent photo or watch her entire body at work while she smoked. I stayed outside and leered in, not without being noticed of course, but it was entirely worth it for the show I was about to get….
As beautiful as this girl was, she was even more beautiful with a cigarette in her mouth, and for the next five minutes she cooperated beautifully with fierce and well-timed drags followed by monstrously cloudy exhales that filled the sky around her with a stinky haze. Everything about her presentation was the epitome of feminine until she shook it up–twice–with something I didn’t see coming. She leaned to her right and let a big juicy lugie drip from her mouth once in the middle of her cigarette and once toward the end. Between the lighting and the awkward positioning, I only managed a distant, mediocre photo that failed to capture her uber-feminine essence, meaning I went out of my way to savor the live version, watching drag after delicious drag followed by those steamy exhales….
I was hoping for a butt ID but had a bad feeling, and the bad feeling was vindicated as she leaned down and crushed out the cigarette on the pavement, and then proceeded to insert the butt into an empty black pack. I always thought it was a little odd that this girl was all by herself and figured she must work inside the building that she was sitting just outside, and as she headed towards the side entrance I figured my instinct must be right, but she was just dropping the empty pack of cigarettes into the trash can right by the entrance. Nonetheless, my other observation of how odd it was for this beauty to be at the fair by herself was about to be vindicated….
In the biggest surprise turn of any sighting in quite awhile, the smoker then proceeded three benches down and met up with two nonsmoking gals sitting there that I figured must be her mother and younger sister, who are apparently too embarrassed to be seen publicly with their flesh and blood, no matter how beautiful she is, when she’s doing her stinky smoking and spitting routine. I was so turned on that a girl this gorgeous was being ostracized by her family for her vulgar smoking behavior, and only now that she was done with it were they willing to be seen with her. I just couldn’t get a decent photo to save my life and finally had to quit trying because she was wise to me having seen me lingering the whole time she smoked. I still enjoyed seeing her interact with the family though and to see her standing up, finally allowing me to see what she was wearing, an oddball combination of a grandmotherly white shawl covering some sort of tanktop and a pair of cutoffs below. Seeing her from behind was especially odd because the shawl covered almost her entire ass except for the frayed fabric of the cutoffs exposed below….
As the family pressed forward I took a peek inside that trash can and confirmed my suspicion from the black pack that the empty pack she threw away was Camel Crush Bold. After confirming that, I briefly followed them to the International Bazaar, hoping that just maybe I could score a frontal photo, but ultimately balked having recognized how close to the sun I had already been flying with her. This sighting would have been one of my best of the day even without the revelation at the end that she was persona non gratta with her family while she was smoking, but the hotness level went off the charts when the sighting played out that way and I felt like I finally had some real momentum going.
#12. Iowa State Fair Day 3, Sighting #8
It was early afternoon on my “Day 3″ at this year’s Iowa State Fair and I was walking around this alleyway that leads around one of the buildings and has a bathroom area and a big hill leading up to the east side of the grounds. A lot of times in this area you’ll catch a couple of hotties sitting on the hill for a smoke break, and yesterday as I walked by I saw this impossibly wholesome couple where the girl had just gotten up off the grass and was approaching a garbage can. She was the picture of Midwestern wholesomeness with a beautiful face, her dark blond hair in a ponytail, and wearing a nice white blouse and black shorts. As she stepped up to that garbage can, I watched her toss two cigarette butts into it. D’oh! I had just missed a great sighting, but at the same time watching her toss those butts into the trash at least confirmed to me she was a smoker. It was the first time ever that a girl throwing her butt into the trash worked to my advantage. I walked away annoyed that I missed it, never imagining this was poised to become my second-best sighting of the day….
Less than an hour later I was walking past the tables behind The Depot and saw a familiar wholesome blond cutie with her boyfriend sitting at one of the tables with a beer in front of her, a freshly lit cigarette between her fingers, and a pack of Marlboro Menthols right in front of her. This most unlikely smoker who teased me less than an hour earlier was finally gonna give me a show, and the nearly empty lineup of benches was perfect to position myself for a front-row seat, complete with action shots of her smoking. There was an odd haze to the photo quality that left them less than perfect, but I was still satisfied, and even more so when I sat back to watch her smoke as it was just spectacular to see a cigarette approach that perfect wholesome face and draw in smoke. And most curiously, the boyfriend wasn’t smoking. Would this change? I’d have to wait and see but for now I was mesmerized watching her solid, well-timed drags and cloudy sexualized exhales. Looking down underneath the table I could see those nice black shorts of hers and I’ll just bet I was unconsciously licking my lips at the entire presentation. She made pretty quick work of the cigarette and crushed it out on the ground before sitting the butt on the seat next to her, clearly planning to toss it in the garbage later. I knew she dropped her butts into the trash can so that didn’t surprise me, meaning I was lucky to have seen the pack in front of her and ID her brand…..
I just had a feeling this sighting wasn’t done yet, and she confirmed my suspicion by taking out another cigarette and lighting up a couple of minutes later. This was a face I would never have imagined to have had one cigarette touch its lips, but here this girl was on at least her third cigarette of the last hour. The show was once again beautiful, with a solid smoking show that should be taught in schools to young girls on how a pretty young gal should properly smoke a cigarette and exude the highest level of femininity while doing so. I watched her smoke the entire cigarette, pleased with every drag as I’m sure her black insides were, and continued to be intrigued by the fact that the boyfriend didn’t light up at all. Up until now, when I saw her drop two cigarettes into the garbage can when I saw her an hour earlier, I figured she and the boyfriend each smoked one. While that’s still possible, anecdotal evidence was now pointing to wholesome blondie having smoked two in a row by herself then and now! What a spectacular find! She crushed this cigarette out like the first and, living up to her goody-two shoes presentation in every way expect for her insatiable nicotine dependency, went to the nearest dumpster to dispose of the butts in the most environmentally friendly fashion. I snapped a couple rear photos of her in her black shorts as they walked off, feeling perky now and knowing she’d be one of my better sightings of the day.
#11. Iowa State Fair Day 1, Sightings #18-19
The first few hours of my first day of this year’s Iowa State Fair seemed likely to be a repeat of the previous couple of years, with sightings few and far between, but in the mid-afternoon I got my first indication that the day was gonna be different than those early hours indicated. I was walking down the main stretch of the concourse behind the grandstand when I spotted this sexpot 19ish duo approaching a garbage can. My radar was definitely not buzzing with anticipation as these two looked like the sort of upscale coeds who would never be smoking in the year 2014. The ponytailed light brunette in a skimpy bare midriff flower print top with jean shorts drew my attention first as I approached, and I was shocked when I saw she was holding a freshly lit cigarette in her hand. I quickly changed positions to get a better look and then I noticed she had a second cigarette which was all bent and busted up that she was tossing into the garbage. But then I noticed the equally gorgeous light brunette friend in a conservative gray top and tight white pants was also holding a cigarette, still unlit. As crazy as it would have seemed when I approached these two, they were indeed both smokers. I got a honey of a photo of the girl in white pants lighting up her cigarette before the two wandered off down the concourse. My first pursuit was to take a peek inside that garbage and see if I could get a brand name off of the discarded half cigarette, and I did. Sitting right atop the trash pile was a cork filter cigarette with the unmistakable markings of a Marlboro Red. Who woulda thought?!?!?
From there I quickly caught back up with the girls, walking mostly behind them and taking in their stinky exhales while admiring the spectacular body of the bare-midriffed babe in jean shorts, taking a few photos of her awesome body and capturing the cigarette between her fingers in most of them. I also wanted a risky frontal shot and managed to walk around them and score a pretty decent one. It was now time to settle in for the rest of the smoking show as the girls sat on a curb to finish their cigarettes and I crossed the street to watch the second half of their show. I had spent most of my time admiring the bare-midriffed sexpot with her hair up in a ponytail because of that amazing presentation, but watching the girl in white pants, whose long hair flowed over her shoulders, I had to acknowledge that she was just as pretty as the friend….and she was the better smoker of the two to boot, taking more frequent drags and producing cloudier exhales. Her smoking style was a little more masculine than I’d prefer but she still pulled it off, averaging two drags for every one the friend took as they sat there chatting, oblivious to the fact that they were being watched by at least one guy. Some random middle-aged woman stopped in front of them to either ask something or make a statement. I couldn’t hear it, but was kind of hopeful they were being lectured about their smoking….
After a good 5-7 minute show that consisted of walking and sitting, the girl in white pants crushed out her cigarette on the pavement and let it sit there while the bare-midriffed friend finished hers off about a minute later, unfortunately crushing it out and taking it to the nearest garbage can. I crossed the street when they left to check out the butt crushed out onto the pavement by the girl in white pants, and while I already knew it was a Marlboro Red based upon what was thrown in the garbage moments earlier, I couldn’t really tell from what was left on the cigarette so I’m lucky I got the butt ID from the trash can or it would remain a mystery. I took one final look at these two and briefly wondered if they were sisters as much alike as they looked despite the dramatically different presentations. I still suspect they were just friends, but it’s hard to ask for a better sighting than this in the year 2014, the public consumption of tobacco by exactly the kind of girls who most of us fetishers get most excited about seeing light up. The fact that I got to see the entire cigarettes get smoked by both of them made it that much more special. Even if I didn’t get a single other decent sighting that day, it was already worthwhile for having seen these two.
#10. Iowa State Fair Day 1, Sightings #50-51
I scored three spectacular sightings during the mid-to-late afternoon hours on my first visit to this year’s Iowa State Fair. The final of those Big Three sightings chronologically took place just before 6 p.m., and a little longer of a show for this one could have been truly legendary but even the limited show I got ensures its Hall of Fame stature and my second-best sighting of the day. I was walking westward down the concourse when I saw a family of five that I presumed included a mother, father, two teenage daughters, and a teenage son walking my direction. Right away I noticed what looked to be the older daughter, a long-haired bleach blond in a little blue dress, smoking a cigarette. She was very pretty and looked about 18 or 19, and I caught her in mid-drag, the only drag I would end up seeing from this girl as she extended her hand to her right in the direction of what I presumed was her mother, a 40-something bleach blond gal who was undoubtedly attractive in her day but had a bunch of tattoos in particularly ugly places on her person. Only it wasn’t mom who was gonna claim possession of the cigarette….
Taking the cigarette instead was the younger sister, another bleach blond who reached in front of mom and grabbed the cigarette from the older sister. And she was a knockout dressed in a way that only made her more impossibly sexy. My guess is she was about 17, her shoulder-length hair resting on her pink, bare-midriffed top with slits on the back revealing her bra and well-toned teen female flesh. And below the bare midriff was a very tight and sexy pair of white shorts, my favorite thing a young girl can wear besides leather. She was no rookie either, taking very nice drags and releasing cloudy, obnoxious exhales that drifted right back into my face. I was doing everything I could to take a perfect photo, which is not easy while in motion. I caught her in mid-drag and thought I absolutely nailed it until I looked at my camera and realized the photo cut her head off. Four incredible drags transpired from this adorable teenage face before the cigarette would find yet another owner….and this time it was mom who I suspect was the original smoker in the first place but was courteously passing the cigarette around to her addicted daughters while the males in the family kept their lungs pink….
Painful as it was to see the youngest daughter give up the cigarette, it was pretty damn hot to be witnessing a mother-double daughter sighting, which I think may be a first for me. I was able to get in front of them and snap my best pic yet of the family, with a particularly precious frontal photo of the youngest teen daughter in her pink top and white shorts. Mom finished off the cigarette and crushed it out on the pavement. When I identified the cork filter I was taken aback to see another Marlboro Red. Haven’t seen this many Marlboro Red smokers since the 80s! I hoped like mad I’d see this family again later in the day but I never did. Still, I no longer had any reason left to complain about the way my day was going.
#9. Local County Fair, Thursday Night
As I so often do at my county fair, I was preparing for my “final loop of the night” on Thursday evening but managed to keep getting sidetracked and/or talking myself into yet another “final loop of the night”, but I am so damn glad I held out for one last walk through the nearly empty midway at about 11:20. At the back of the midway I caught from behind the image of a girl I just knew was gonna be magic. I saw this dark rear image of a girl with straight dark blond hair going all the way down her back, held down up top with a head band that had a little white bow on top. A black sweatshirt and nice-fitting pair of dark jeans completed the conservative ensemble but there was one thing that didn’t fit at all with the rear silhouette image I was observing….an unlit cigarette protruding from the girl’s right hand….
A wide-open bench gave me a perfect vantage point of the sighting that would transpire….and I approached it giddy as a schoolgirl to get a look at the face and see if it lived up to the profile. I thought I had prepared myself for the caliber of wholesomeness I was plunging head-first into but she exceeded my wildest expectations. This girl was not only beautiful beyond belief, she ranks among the top two or three most unlikely smokers I’ve ever laid eyes on. I’d put her at about 19 or 20 years old and her animated face just radiated sunshine and warmth. I kept thinking this girl looks like she should be a counselor at a youth camp for Christ because her beaming, glowing presence just seemed naturally inclined to do something wholesome at all times, absolutely never including being at the county fair midway holding a cigarette in her hand….
And while it took me a while to collect myself after seeing a face this beautiful (she vaguely reminded me of actress Amanda Seyfried….only prettier), it took her more than just a while to light that cigarette. She was cheering on a male and female friend preparing to ride the “Ring of Fire” thrill ride which hangs upside down. She was giving her encouragement from the sideline so I was still confident of getting her to myself for the entirety of the ride the friends took. Finally, after a good three minutes of holding the unlit cigarette in one hand and the lighter in the other, it was time to get to the part where she ingested carcinogens. Her light-up was drama free but it still sent tingles throughout my body when her cigarette consumption became real. The friends were just getting on the ride in time for her second and best drag, which was average in length but where a delayed exhale came out in the form of a sloppy smoky blob even as her face was more lit up than ever with a toothy grin as she watched the friends climb aboard the Ring of Fire. And the exhale still wasn’t over as a residual puff escaped her nose a couple of seconds later. A “smiling exhale”…I suppose I’ve seen one before but never one as animated as this. Now more than ever it was hard to reconcile this saintly looking girl with the cancerous filth her body was addicted to. The next drag was a little more traditional, with her exhale blown completely out of her mouth in a straight line…..
Another duo of girls who I’d hoped to see smoking again that night was walking by with cigarettes but I wasn’t going anywhere as even a tow truck couldn’t pull me away from what was easily my best find of the night. But of course my best find of the night couldn’t possibly follow the preferred script without a complication either. Suddenly, some random overweight dude her age or slightly older approached her and she seemed to know him. After taking a drag I couldn’t see, she suddenly handed the guy the cigarette. NO!!!!!! This led me to believe she was probably just a social smoker who didn’t need more than half of her cigarette and was looking for someone to take it away. It was a letdown as the guy got his hands on the not-even-half-smoked cigarette and never returned it. Still, I wanted to identify the brand this gorgeous dark blond was smoking. The two friends who went on the thrill ride had just gotten off and the three of them, combined with the new smoker dude and a friend of his, were walking eastward out of the midway. I followed, doing something I never suspected I would….waiting for a dude to finish his cigarette so I could get a butt ID. After about three walking drags, he did finish it and drop it. I looked down to see it was a white filter Marlboro with a little blue dot on the filter, which I believe are those Marlboro Nxts, the Marlboro version of Camel Crush….
I was a little disappointed with that last sighting and began what ultimately was my final loop of the night, and stumbled into none other than the 2012 “woolly beret girl” (FCF #15) just as she lit up, and I was prepared to get a delicious sighting from her. But that’s where the story took a surprise pivot. It would take a lot for me to abandon my first sighting of the year of the old reliable woolly beret girl, but “a lot” was exactly what I was in store for……
At the exact moment the “woolly beret girl” lit up, I looked past her to find another group crossing paths with them. It was the “Ring of Fire” midway group……and I was shocked when I saw the insanely wholesome hottie placing another unlit cigarette in her mouth. This was her second in the last 15 minutes, and keep in mind I had written her off as a social smoker when she handed half of her cigarette to the fat guy moments earlier. But now that seemed far less likely as “my greatest find of the night” raised her stakes dramatically by being the only member of her group of five to light up another cigarette. She paused her walking briefly to light up and I could barely control myself from shouting for joy at the top of my lungs. They were heading to the north side exit of the fairgrounds, the exact same exit I take on the way back to my grandma’s parking lot and I would be able to follow. This couldn’t have worked out more perfectly. She was more attentive in smoking this one as well, taking more frequent drags as she walked. Unfortunately I had a mostly rear view and was usually only able to admire the exhaled smoke I saw flowing from her gorgeous face, but on a couple of occasions she turned her head while dragging and I got to see her lips pucker around that all-white filter and the cherry glow bright red. While walking, the two guys (including the one that smoked half of her first cigarette) that seemed to come out of nowhere on the midway were hanging back, apparently not riding home with them….
I continued to follow as just the original three from the “Ring of Fire” ride progressed to a red sports car in a private lot in a guy’s yard. The guy and girl who rode the Ring of Fire climbed into the front seat and I was waiting with baited breath to see what stinky girl would do. I didn’t know if it would be sexier for her to drop her Marlboro Nxt butt into some stranger’s yard or to bring it inside the red sports car driven by obvious nonsmokers. It could have gone either way as she opened the back door and took a deep drag…..but she broke the tie by closing the car door and bringing the cigarette with her. Not only do the friends have to deal with her residual ciggy stench, but she’s actually going to smoke a cigarette inside a stranger’s likely expensive car. I watched the car drive out of the lot….with the back window cracked and a smoldering cherry held between the fingers of a truly gorgeous young woman as it did. An otherwise modest Thursday night ended with a grand slam.
#8. Minnesota State Fair Day 2, Sightings #83-84
The morning hours were dragging on as they so often do during my second day at the Minnesota State Fair, and with things so slow I took an interest in a few girls that teased me with tremendous potential and gave off a vibe of tobacco usage being a possibility. My strongest instinct came as I walked down the street with the huddles of smokers on the east end of the Coliseum. I got all the way to the southeast corner and in the exact same place where my two sexpot late teens were smoking in previous week’s third best sighting of the day (the #14 sighting on this list), a very suspicious duo of mid-teen cuties was sitting there again, wearing similarly short shorts as the previous week’s girls and seated with their legs in a similar upside-down V pattern bent at the knees while leaning against the building. One girl had a beautiful face with an artificial reddish-tinted shoulder-length hair coupled with a pale pink tanktop and tight-fitting jean shorts covering a shapely lower body. She looked about 16. Her friend was probably the same age but looked younger. She wasn’t as hot as the other girl but had a girl-next-door cuteness to her, her brown hair up in a ponytail and wearing a black sweatshirt with matching black shorts. The girls couldn’t possibly have looked more suspicious sitting there and I was certain tobacco usage had either already taken place or was about to. I went back to the same spot a couple more times in the next few minutes but never did see them smoking, and managed to forget about them after they vacated that spot….
Fast forward about six hours when I was again walking down the east side of the Coliseum, scanning the entire block along the building for smokers. And as I looked ahead to the southeast side, who did I find but those same two mid-teen girls who were occupying the exact same spot with guilty looks on their faces in the morning. Oh this was very interesting, I thought to myself as I kept approaching from a good 30 yards away. My eyes were focused on them like a laser and in seconds, my moment of vindication arrived as I watched a half-smoked cigarette approach the lips of the artificial redhead who was the prettiest and had the hottest body, followed by the expulsion of smoke that traveled several inches in front of her adorable face. She was far and away my trophy of the day given how I fell in love with her the second I laid eyes on her that morning, my “smoke detector” sounding off loudly but failing to yield the answer I sought until hours later. The spot where the girls were sitting would be perfect for me to sneak a photo and then watch from close range, but just as I was approaching, they stood up and began walking behind the Coliseum. I’m 99.9% sure it wasn’t because of me since they would not have likely seen me yet or remembered me from earlier. They must have just been getting paranoid about the smoker girl being so obviously underage yet smoking so publicly. Unfortunately, this would only be the first obstacle that would prevent this sighting from reaching its full potential….
Nonetheless, I rounded the corner and watched the girls settle into an isolated cement pillar on the back side of the Coliseum, which almost serves as the building’s loading zone for all the commercial vendors. The girls were definitely gonna get their privacy here, but it wasn’t gonna work to my advantage as the best I could do was take a bench that was about 10 yards away from them and outside the range at which I could take too detailed of a picture. The upside was that both girls were standing and I was able to admire the exceptional curves of that teen smoker. While her reddish hair gave her a mildly unfortunate alternative look (her natural color appeared to be dark blond), everything else about her was pitch-perfect teenage girl from her well above-average boobs in her pale pink tanktop to the tight and short medium-blue jean shorts that hugged her hips in a perfect sexually charged way that only a shapely mid-teen girl is capable of pulling off. But it was that face that got me most, an understated beauty with a hint of naughty girl that helped convince me right away that this girl was a cigarette smoker….
I watched in pure ecstasy as she plugged away at the second half of that cigarette with a decent style….about what you’d expect from a girl who probably hasn’t been smoking that long. The sighting took a surprise turn though when the taller girl, who I figured was 16, handed the cigarette to the friend, who may have been the same age but looked like she was at most 14! Now she was very cute but lacked the smoldering IT factor not to mention the sensational curves of the taller girl, as her upper body was trapped in a black sweatshirt that had to have been hot as hell on top of lacking sex appeal. But while I always expected the first girl was a smoker, it had never occurred to me the other girl was too, especially when I didn’t see her with a cigarette upon that first approach a couple of minutes earlier. Her smoking style was considerably more fledgling than the first girl’s and it was unbearably cute at the same time that it was unbearably frustrating that I couldn’t watch these future emphysema patients from a closer vantage point….
The frustration was far from over though as I touched earlier upon the oddball obstacles that got in the way of this sighting being the grand slam it had the potential to be. Along the uneven sidewalk next to the bench I was seated on, a teenage girl was struggling mightily to wheel this top-heavy cart of pastries from Point A to Point B, nearly tipping the damn thing every time she hit a crack in the cement, of which there were many on this sidewalk. She made eyes with me as she was passing me, as if beckoning me to help her. I would have done so in a snap if it wasn’t for my being in the middle of what I figured was my best sighting of the day. But as she proceeded a few more feet and continued to struggle, I felt obliged to help, hoping I could do two things at once, moving the cart and wheeling past the smoker girls from a slightly closer vantage point. Even with two of us, moving this cart along this cracked up pavement was very hard, with the cart nearly tipping on a few occasions. I kept one eye on the smokers as I slowly passed them, and saw my favorite girl was in possession again for the final couple of drags and was crushing the cork filter cigarette out and dropping the butt to the grass at almost the exact moment I wheeled past them….
From there, I watched the two girls come my direction and I was praying that they would offer to help as well, exposing me to their fresh cigarette stench from close range. They didn’t, but they walked right past me and my favorite girl looked my direction with a flirty smirk. Not sure if she was amused at my efforts to help this damsel in distress or if she was aware I had been stalking her earlier and was returning the favor. Either way, I inhaled as strongly as I could as she and the friend walked past only a couple of feet in front of me, hoping to smell her stench, but unfortunately not capturing any of it. I continued to help the girl with the cart for another minute or so, and would have volunteered to assist her further, but when she said she thought she was good to go as she approached the building entrance with the pastry cart, I didn’t hesitate to go on my merry way, looking to the west and seeing those hot teenage asses still wiggling towards the horizon and within range for me to still catch up….
And so I did, hustling to make up ground and succeeding, watching the girls going into a rear Coliseum entrance. I got a decent photo of their asses before they got inside and I’m lucky I did because the lighting in the building was such that subsequent photos would be blurry. These photos are gonna be what get me in trouble, which I’m fully aware of, but the impulse to capture a snapshot of my favorite smoker girl’s adorable face was impossible to resist, so I kept trying a daring frontal snapshot as we all maneuvered inside the densely packed crowds of the Coliseum. I took a couple of pics as the girls walked up to some fruit-flavored slushie stand to sample their wares but both were blurry and I decided it wasn’t worth the risk to press forward since they were by now well aware of my presence from when they were smoking.
I reluctantly left the Coliseum, hoping against hope I’d see them again that day, which I would not. And when I returned to where they smoked, there were too many other butts lying around from other smokers who’d been sneaking cigarettes behind the Coliseum for me to successfully identify which was theirs. While I didn’t get everything to go my way with this one, what a ride nonetheless, and I felt vindication for predicting my favorite girl was a rare breed of a mid-teen smoker in Minnesota circa 2014 yet being pleasantly surprised at the same time to learn the other girl was as well. For the first time that day, I was genuinely buzzing and feeling damn glad I made it to the fair on August 30, 2014.
#7. Minnesota State Fair Day 1, Sighting #141
As I vacated the smoking area near the beer gardens and bathroom after 9 p.m. on my first day at the Minnesota State Fair, I had every intention of going a different direction but something was pulling me to head back north where I came from, and am I ever glad I did because doing so led me to my best sighting of the day by far. On the curb just north of the beer gardens, I spotted a fast-moving trio exiting the area minus any adult beverages but two of them holding unlit cigarettes in their hands. The eclectic trio included some hipster-looking mid-20s guy, an early 20s brunette girl, and the girl who locked in my attention and kept it for the next several minutes, a petite, fresh-faced mid-teen blond in a flower-print tanktop and dark jean shorts who was only about 5’2″. When I saw her face, my heart briefly stopped because it was just so innocent and the rest of her presentation matched that innocence. But based on her company it took awhile before I allowed myself to accept that she was only about 15 years old….
As rare as it’s become to see mid-teen smokers, I always come up with reasons to talk myself out of believing they’re as young as they look, and I kept telling myself she had to have just been a young-looking late teen. My early skepticism about her youth notwithstanding, I was still preparing myself for a fantastic sighting as I watched the guy light up his cigarette and made sure I positioned myself parallel to girly so I could see her light-up when he handed her his lighter. When she did, I finally began to accept that she was about the age that I instinctively suspected as she placed that unlit cork filter between her lips and fired up, briefly struggling to work the lighter before bringing that cigarette to life in a way that just screamed 9th grade girl. Interestingly though, that light-up would be the only part of her smoking routine that resembled the work of a 15-year-old girl….
I had to work hard to keep up with this trio as they hustled their way down an oddball, out-of-the-way path to get from the beer gardens to their midway destination, and I hauled ass through the crowd attempting not to miss a thing or God forbid lose them. And whatever midway rides they were about to go on couldn’t hold a candle to the ride I went on watching this little girl’s smoking performance. She must have set a goal before she arrived to exhale cigarette smoke into the faces of very fairgoer on the grounds as it seemed impossible for it to be a mere coincidence if she hadn’t. Her drags were impossibly accomplished for a girl so young, frequently done in the form of brief no-handlebars dangling drags, and her exhales were very impressive combination nose-and-mouth missiles that repeatedly nailed their targets, assuming the targets were innocent bystanders of all ages who kept getting nailed in the face by this adorable cutie’s air pollution. The only downside was that with everybody else getting whacked by her exhales, I wasn’t getting the opportunity to get splashed in the face with as many of her stink bombs as I’d hoped. It continued to be a challenge keeping up with this trio as they weaved through huge crowds of mostly teenagers at the edge of the midway, with my girl never amending her aggressive and criminal smoking behavior a bit even in the densest of crowds. At one point she even walked right past a fairgrounds cop with cigarette in hand and didn’t bat an eyelash….
Now I appreciated the fast pace of this sighting for what it was but as the trio got into the midway, I was rewarded with a needed respite as they got into the ticket line and I had a conveniently located bench to enjoy a front-row seat for the second half of her cigarette. It was such a treat to watch this sweet-looking young thing smoke her cigarette while standing in this line, especially in the company of the guy and the nonsmoking brunette. Was she the younger sister of one or both of them? It was impossible to know but there was zero doubt in my mind as I watched that this girl was younger than the other two by several years. I had one snapshot left on my camera phone so I had to make it count, and since it was after dark my prospects for a quality photo weren’t great, but I got as close as I could and waited for her to take a drag before snapping that shutter just as her face was partially turned my way. It’s too blurry to fully appreciate but I couldn’t have possibly done better given the circumstances…
She had about three drags left for me to just sit back and admire at that point, with generous missiles of smoke always flowing from her nose and mouth that repeatedly reassured me she was no rookie. There’s a teen celebrity, past or present, that she reminds me of but I can’t put a finger on who. But the past-tense rolodex girl that her gentle mid-teen features immediately brought to mind was the early teen “strawberry blond” (FCF #5) smoking with her family back in 2008, although obviously this girl was a straight blond without any strawberry. Without a shadow of a doubt, she was my top find of the day and she was approaching the end of her cigarette just as her group was buying tickets, but walked off with it still smoldering after making the purchase, giving me confidence that I’d get a butt ID. Unfortunately, this would have an unhappy ending as I watched her take her final drag and then squeeze the filter to crush out the cigarette. As I was bemoaning the prospect of her tossing the butt into a trash can rather than merely littering it, she sped up her walking pace to toss the butt into a dumpster full of garbage bags that some fair worker was hauling in front of her. Damn…wasn’t gonna identify that one, but for what it’s worth I think I saw Camel markings on it when she lit it up at the origins of the party for my eyes that this sighting was. I watched her perfect little petite smoker girl body migrate west deeper into the midway as the adrenaline from having scored my best sighting of the day pulsated through my otherwise weary body.
#6. Local County Fair, Wednesday Night
Wednesday was far and away the best night at this year’s local county fair, the kind of night where I’d be in pursuit of one great sighting and get sidetracked by another. That’s exactly what happened with the evening’s best sighting as I was walking past the edge of the midway and spotted a guy and an adorable ponytailed blond cutie who looked about 18 or 19 standing in front of a food stand. The girl had a freshly lit cigarette in her hand. She was probably the purest and most distinguished beauty of the night with a face that was in one sense quite wholesome, but in another sense, she also didn’t look out of place in possession of her cigarette. She was wearing a black sweatshirt (this is Minnesota and after dark it gets cool even in July) along with a skimpy pair of medium blue jean shorts that shaped her ass gorgeously and showed off her slender, perfect legs beneath them….
I hovered in the general area hoping to see something that impressed but nothing prepared me for the show I was about to get, which began with the appetizer of a long, deep drag followed by a monstrously cloudy exhale. Then the sighting took on another player as another blond of the same age who was apparently in the company of this couple emerged from the food stand, and she was wielding a cigarette too. Now this girl was definitely chubbier than I’d prefer but very pretty, and decked out in a conservative plaid blouse and jeans. And as I was acclimating myself to her added presence to the sighting, the unlikely main event of this sighting came next as the original girl was stepping up to the front of the food stand and quickly walked away carrying a gigantic bag of cotton candy! The trio then began to walk into the midway and I giddily followed….
I had already gotten some anecdotal evidence that the ponytailed blond was something special but I was about to get much more as I watched the cigarette go into her mouth and could have sworn I saw both of her hands free while she did (remember I was following from the rear), and the exhale that followed flowed out of her mouth and must have caught the slightest breeze as it then flowed right back to her face and the smoked rolled past her cheeks and drifted my direction. Much as I enjoyed seeing her gorgeous ass from the rear, I needed to position myself parallel to her to see this smoking style a little more directly. When I did, she confirmed that I had seen what I thought I had from the rear….a lengthy no-handlebars dangling drag. The cigarette was placed in the right corner of her mouth and remained perfectly straight as she puckered her lips around the filter and took a long, deep drag, followed by a thundercloud exhale. The chubby friend was a decent smoker too, but she was definitely playing second fiddle to the main event here. But it was then that my favorite girl started opening that bag of cotton candy…..
Now smoking-while-eating sightings have always been near the top of my list of triggers, but I don’t think I ever anticipated I’d stumble upon a smoking-while-eating sighting that included cotton candy. I really can’t imagine the two tastes blending together well! But apparently the tastes suited each other just fine to my adorable blond as she proceeded to alternate between stuffing her palate with a giant glob of cotton candy and a deep, intense drag from her cork filter cigarette, almost always in the form of her very distinctive no-handlebars dangling drags where the erect cigarette extended from the right corner of her mouth for a good five seconds.
The trio of friends eventually migrated to the back of the midway and settled in a larger group of mutual acquaintances made up mostly of guys, several of them who were smoking. This was a doubled-edged sword as I was able to find a bench with a great vantage point of the group, but I also knew that my chances of a butt identification would be very long now that there were so many smokers hovered in this one area and not likely to go anywhere for awhile even after finishing their cigarettes. But I had about three more minutes of enjoying my front-row seat of the show, occasionally catching glimpses of the chubby blond friend but mostly focusing my attention on this beautiful baby-faced blond doing one after another dangling drags in between eating big chunks of cotton candy. At one point she even stuffed her mouth with cotton candy before the exhale from her last cigarette drag exited her mouth. This girl was clearly very well-practiced as a smoker and the contrast between her extreme style and her girly girl face was getting a big old rise out of this boy’s pants. She dropped the cigarette to the ground and I could see again that it was a cork filter but as expected, the crowd of smokers hovered there and I simply couldn’t wait them out for a butt ID. I grudgingly got up to leave but it wouldn’t be the last I’d see of this girl or her friend. In fact, I saw the chubby friend two more times within the hour, smoking both times. But despite her chubbiness, the girl was pretty enough and a solid enough of a smoker that I would unequivocally bed her down if given the chance.
And about an hour later, I was departing the midway at the same moment my favorite cotton candy blond of the night and her chubby friend did. They migrated into a huddle of friends on the main street of the grounds and had just lit up another round of cigarettes. This was the FOURTH cigarette I had seen from the chubby blond in the last hour or so and the second from the cotton candy beauty. Positioning was terrible for this one as all I could do was lurk from a standing posture and do so for a couple of drags. But as expected, the drags didn’t disappoint as this striking beauty defied her feminine image again by placing that cork filter cigarette in the far right corner of her mouth and carried out a dangling drag with the cigarette in a straight-line of erection the entire time. Even after decades of fetishing, I don’t recall seeing a smoking style quite like this before, and I was reminded again why I fell in love with this girl an hour earlier. But as I said, my positioning was terrible and I had to take a quarter loop elsewhere and return to minimize my exposure. Sadly, when I got back less than a minute later, the two smoker girls were gone, not to be seen again. I was kicking myself as I really wanted a butt ID and had I not departed for that single minute I could have probably followed them out of the fairgrounds and spotted her butt when she discarded. Butt or no butt, she remained the high point on a night full of high points.
#5. Iowa State Fair Day 2, Sighting #8
I had only been to the fairgrounds a little over an hour on my after-work evening-hours-only Wednesday visit to the Iowa State Fair when I got my sighting of the night. There are two small flights of stairs on the eastern end of the fairgrounds’ south side seating area that lead up to a circle of international flags and a fountain, an area where I don’t ever recall scoring a quality sighting before. Sitting on a bench atop the first flight of stairs was a mid-teen couple that thankfully grabbed my attention walking by, even in this remote spot where I don’t often look. I ascended the stairs to see the sweetest little blond angel one could ever expect to see with a cigarette. She wasn’t “beautiful”….she was just wholesome beyond words, the classic stereotype of a bubbly, innocent 16-year-old cheerleader type with a mouth full of braces and her blond hair up in a bushy ponytail. She could have been an extra of one of Stephanie Tanner’s friends on “Full House” back in the 90s. Yet there she was, holding a freshly lit cork filter cigarette in her hand and couldn’t have possibly looked more out of place doing so wearing a conservative gray shirt and a tight pair of leggings with a busy, colorful pattern. I was in love! Now the boyfriend next to her was a pretty wholesome-looking fellow himself, also right around 16 with a bushy hairdo, and I’m 90% sure when I got there he was smoking a cigarette himself, although it was disposed of quickly. The entire show that I was about to get consisted of this fascinating girl’s smoking show, and what a show it would be…..
I sat down on a bench across from them, and while a little too exposed for my preference, had a great vantage point of her smoking. And almost immediately after I sat down a middle-aged couple walked past them, and the guy began talking to them in a joking way, with the boy responding equally lightheartedly. I couldn’t make out a word of it but since there was little else that made sense for them to talk about, I suspect the conversation revolved around the teenage couple’s smoke break. The innocence of this couple, especially the girl, is impossible to overstate, so it was just heartbreaking whenever she inserted that cork filter into her mouth for a precocious drag. The drags were surprisingly long and adorable, but the exhales were what always got me, her innocent face expelling sloppy little cloudbursts from her mouth and nose that always seemed to drift right into the boyfriend’s face. There was no wind to speak of that day so it must have just been fate that directed her exhales to flow straight into his grill over and over and over. And I got one other surprise that came all-too-frequently after her sloppy, blobbish exhales, and that was spitting. I know not everyone is into sloppy exhales and especially spitting in smoker girls, but this girl was chronic, dropping juicy lugies straight in front of her onto the pavement after her drags on four different occasions.
Normally I would have had a wide-open lane to take some direct frontal photos of this madness, but I had a big problem. The bright sunshine that boosted my morale so high when I entered the grounds was now at the angle where it was producing long shadows and interfering with my shots. I tried from a few different angles, drawing major attention to myself doing so, and just couldn’t get the sweet spot where I captured her face and the cigarette. I sat back down so I could watch the end of the show, watching the once-long cigarette grow shorter and shorter as it was consumed by this most innocent face. She took her final drag and crushed out the cigarette on the pavement in front of her. Watching that last exhale drift into the boyfriend’s face, I thought to myself that he must be relieved her cigarette was finally gone so he could breathe again, but he still had one more decidedly unfeminine display from his little girlfriend to watch before they pressed on….an unprecedented double lugie drop, with a giant ball of spit dropping from her mouth followed by a second, slightly smaller dribble a split second later. I thought to myself this guy had to have some level of fetish himself for the girl to feel so comfortable being so gross in front of him. Either way, I couldn’t have been more jealous.
I had two orders of business as the couple got up to leave. The first was to ID her butt. I maneuvered my way around four pools of her slobber to find the butt I presume to be a Marlboro Red Special Blend as its markings are similar to the Marlboro Light Special Blend except with a cork filter. I even took a photo of the pavement where all of her lugies were dropped. From there I needed a better photo of the girl, even though her cigarette was gone. The couple was going up the hill towards the east side and I found a walkway parallel. I was really pushing my luck here as this couple was definitely aware of me at this point, and I would need luck on my side to pull off the direct frontal photo I was going for. But luck was on my side as they turned left exactly as I needed them to and I snapped the shutter on my camera phone getting a photo that will preserve her memory forever. I obviously would have preferred a better smoking photo, but I’ll still be able to look at this snapshot at any time in the future and recall the chronic spitter with the innocent mid-teen face and remind myself that this girl does indeed smoke. I thought there was a very good chance I’d run into these two again that night given the smaller weeknight crowds, but I never did. Nonetheless, the visit was already worthwhile after receiving the gift of this sighting before dark.
#4. Iowa State Fair Day 3, Sighting #80
I had been having a pretty great day of sightings by the 9 p.m. hour on my third day at this year’s Iowa State Fair, but I hadn’t yet scored a future first-ballot Hall of Famer yet. That was about to change as I made my fateful journey into the midway and worked my way towards the back when I spotted a trio of teens (two guys and a girl) and spotted one of the guys lighting up. My eyes veered towards the girl in the group as I passed them and sure enough, she already had a cigarette lit. I didn’t get a very good look at her while walking past but was following from behind now and admiring a perky, petite young body in a girlish red tanktop and very short jean shorts with a long, freshly lit cigarette next to it. It was quite a sight, but having gotten a closer look only at the guys in the group up this point and seeing they were in the 17-18 range it never crossed my mind she’d be younger than that….until they all sat down in a X-shaped arrangement of metal benches next to another dude who was apparently waiting for the trio, and this allowed me to take a seat parallel to them, no more than five feet away from the girl who sat on the inside of her all male counterparts on the bench. Sweet Jesus! Hers was the purest young face I’d seen all day, arguably for the entire fair. I looked at all the guys around her and some of them even had facial hair. They were clearly in their late teens. It just didn’t make sense that they’d be hanging out with this 13-14-year-old girl, I kept telling myself, but as I studied her face and looked over her body, there was just no way this girl was anything other than a middle school girl!!
I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect vantage point, leering over my left shoulder unbeknownst to everybody as she sat there on that metal bench, holding her cigarette to the right and as out of sight as possible except when she lifted it to her lips to take delightful drags. And they were very impressive, easily putting to shame the majority of the adult women smokers I came across that day with nice long drags, four-second hold times, and turning her head to the right (that would be my direction) to exhale volcanic eruptions of smoke that rocketed out of both her mouth and nose. Oh and she was just so precious to look at even when the smoke wasn’t flowing from her little face. She had long dark brown hair flowing down her back and such a slender young body inside that tanktop. But it was below the waist where that slender body sparkled best, with smooth legs that were just curvy enough that she didn’t look “too thin” flowing out of the tiniest pair of jean shorts I think I’ve ever seen. I felt sorry for how cold those legs must have been because a good six inches of her upper legs were touching the metal seat on the bench with as short as her jean shorts were. But that face was her key feature, brimming with youthful innocence while also evoking a big of a naughty side. Unlike a couple of the other teen smokers I saw at the fair this year, it didn’t surprise me to see this girl with a cigarette. She looked cute beyond belief with the petite frame and precious face to match, but she didn’t necessarily look wholesome. And I was reminded of that every time the cigarette approached her lips and was followed by a meaty, cloudy expulsion of smoke from her mouth and nose that were all generally headed my direction….
It still wasn’t adding up as I sat there watching though as everything about the way she carried herself from the way she sat to the way she touched her hair to the way she held her cigarette screamed “eighth grade girl”, but why on Earth would this group of older guys be with her unless the facial-haired guy sitting next to her I assumed was her boyfriend was dating someone four years younger? That scenario was certainly possible, but I was cynical enough at this point to simply believe she had to have been older than she looked. I’d get excellent additional context on this later in the night, but for now was just enjoying my best smoking show of the day and enjoying the exhales that me and the middle-aged lady sitting next to me kept choking on….
She dropped the cigarette to the ground next to her bench but the group didn’t leave. I really wanted a butt ID here but agonized as I looked down to see the cigarette smolder down to the filter in the five minutes or so that the group kept sitting there BSing with one another, with the girl doing the least amount of talking. On the other hand, it was kind of hot looking at that cigarette smoldering down there with smoke still rising from it at a pretty good clip minutes after it last touched human lips, knowing that it was the lips of this sweetheart of a young girl that were responsible for that continued rising smoke. Finally the group got up to leave and I quickly claimed her spot, looking down at the discarded cigarette with nothing left but a cork filter and a smoldering few centimeters of ash, denying me the brand identification that I coveted. I somehow managed to lose them in the midway after I got up but as I said, I would see the girl again and would get some clarity on the sighting’s biggest mystery. But even if the sighting had ended right there, it still would have been my best sighting of the night, and I’ll be haunted in my dreams for months at that adorable early teen face turning my direction and exhaling combination mouth and nasal blasts for a heavenly 5-7 minutes.
That sighting ended up being the catalyst for a flurry of extra base hits in the next half hour, but it was when I was returning from the south side that I struck gold and spotted a family moving northeast. The family in question included my sighting of the night, the brunette who looked like an early teen but whose presence with a group of older teen guys made me question my impression of her age. But watching her slender little body walk in tandem with two of those three guys now–behind a middle-aged couple–the puzzle piece finally fell into place. She wasn’t the girlfriend of any of those older guys she was smoking with on the midway….she was the kid sister of at least one of them. Now nobody was smoking on the long walk to the east side gate where they apparently parked their car, but it was fantastic to study them as I followed, finally realizing this young smoking prodigy WAS as young as I first believed, a revelation that made the sighting I saw earlier that much more delicious. I hoped that somebody would light up on that long walk back to the car but it wasn’t meant to be and once they exited the gate I conceded defeat. I was still extremely grateful for this revelation though as I now knew she almost certainly was 13 or 14 as I suspected all along, and a whole new set of questions arose. Did the parents smoke? Do the parents know their baby girl smokes? The possibilities are endless and I only wish I was able to find out how the story ends.
#3. Local County Fair, Tuesday Night
My friend Corey attended all the evening grandstand concerts at the county fair with me this year, but he got tired in the middle of the low-energy Tuesday night show and left about 20 minutes before the concert got over. I was feeling under the weather myself that night, drug down by a stomach bug, but definitely not sick enough to forgo fair sightings week! When Corey left early, I decided to start my sightings exploration of the grounds a little ahead of schedule as well and one of the first places I went was the midway. Quickly after entering the midway, I took note of this family that included a very sweet-looking mid-teen light brunette daughter wearing a below-the-belt ensemble that grabbed my attention…..a skin-tight pair of medium-blue jeans worn in a way that only a mid-teen girl can with a pair of black leather boots with a high heel that snugly wrapped around her lower legs. I stopped to admire for a few moments because she stood out even amongst a fairgrounds full of hot teen girls both because of her beauty and because of that jeans and boots ensemble, but the thought of smoking never even crossed my mind so I pressed on into the midway….
About 10 minutes later after scoring a couple decent sightings, I ventured back the direction I came from in the midway and saw the sighting of the night…and she was a familiar face and a familiar lower body. The mid-teen girl in the tight jeans with the form-fitting black leather boots was actually smoking….in the company of her family! I was kicking myself for not being around for the light-up on this one, but as sick as I was it was probably for the best or my poor feverish body might have collapsed if I had been present to see this most unlikely mid-teen light brunette cutiepie, whose face was every bit as adorable and as unlikely to be a smoker as her tight and relatively petite young body, light up a cigarette. What made this sighting most fascinating was the family dynamics. On the bench was the 15-16ish daughter and the nonsmoking dad. Mom was lingering to the side, and in front of the bench was a lanky, awkward 18-19ish older brother who was also smoking a younger sister who looked about 10 who was not. Neither parent was smoking yet the two kids publicly were, including the underage daughter. She had yet to take a drag but just seeing her sit there with the half-smoked cork filter so close to those tight jeans almost made my knees buckle….
But then she did take that first drag and it was spectacular, ingesting a good four seconds worth of smoke before tilting her head up with a pleasured look on her face and exhaling skyward….straight into the face of her baby sister who was standing there. I’m assuming that was an accident, but nothing was said by way of disgust by the younger sister or of apology by the smoker girl. Any doubt that I had stumbled into an FCF classic was now removed. It was dark and I didn’t want to tell on myself by turning my camera flash on, but I still had to get a snapshot of this. The photo is blurry but it will nonetheless preserve this moment in time forever more. The family began noticing my awkward lingering presence so I had to venture a small distance away to an open bench that still provided me a nice vantage point to her remaining drags. Nobody got it in the face from her subsequent exhales but they were still a pure joy to watch, especially knowing she had the freedom to smoke in the immediate presence of her parents. All too quickly, the show ended with a final drag. She bent over and stubbed out the cigarette for a few seconds on the pavement below the bench, and only then sat upright again, tilted her head skyward with a look of pleasure on her face, and released another beautiful smoke missile into the night sky. As down as I sometimes get about the decline of smoking in modern culture, the fact that a sighting like this can still play out at my county fair in the year 2014 means I’ll still have a few good days to come in this life. The family got up and left a few moments later and I zipped on over to check out her discarded cigarette butt. It was a full-flavor Marlboro Menthol.
And while the smoking part of this sighting was done, I’d see the brother and sisters several more times Tuesday evening and it filled in a couple blanks regarding the context. The brother and sister were sitting on a bench quietly outside the beer gardens the next time I saw them, and I figured they must have been waiting for the parents inside the beer gardens. It was such a joy to see that innocent-looking girl in her tight jeans and boots sitting there and knowing she was an addicted cigarette smoker. On my next pass, all three kids were lingering near the beer gardens entrance and the dad was talking to them out the door, asking about “their mother” and confirming that this was a family dynamic as suspected. The dad then proceeded to fork over some money to the kids, with my favorite girl en route to picking up a “walking taco”. I wouldn’t see them again that night but hoped for sightings later this week that I unfortunately would not get. I stayed sick for the next couple of days but didn’t notice one symptom during those erotic moments I watched her smoke. Even for just a few minutes, she was enough to make a sick man well again.
#2. Minnesota State Fair Day 2, Sightings #142-144
If one is patient enough, rarely do the evening hours at the Minnesota State Fair pass without a blockbuster or epic sighting materializing, and such would be the case during evening of my second day at this year’s MNSF as I was heading south from the grandstand towards the beer gardens block and wandered into what would become my sighting of the day. An aura of neon white temporarily blinded me as it was now after dusk and there were dark would-be storm clouds overhead, but when my eyes adjusted to the light, I was able to determine the source of that bright white was an 18-19ish long-haired blond sexpot in a pair of outrageously tight and shiny white shorts that seemed like they might tear if she tried to sit down (and interestingly, she never did), caressing a spectacular ass with perfect legs coming out the bottom. She was no less subtle up top with a very low-cut black and silver blouse advertising the upper half of an awesome set of tits, and with several inches of exposed midriff separating her scantily clad feminine assets. Oh, and there was also a very freshly lit 100 mm cigarette protruding from her fingers. I knew I had found something very special……
I was so consumed by this epic blond discovery in those first 30 seconds that only the passage of time allowed me to recover enough to recognize the others in her group. Front and center were two other young girls, one a solidly attractive long-haired dark brunette in a white tanktop and black shorts who also looked in the 18-19 range and was also brandishing a freshly lit 100 mm cigarette, and the other a sweetheart of a light brunette with shorter, shoulder-length hair who was wearing a kiwi-green tanktop and very short medium-blue jean shorts advertising an even better pair of legs than the blond. The third girl wasn’t smoking, which made sense as she looked younger (I was assuming 16 at most) and far more wholesome than the two smokers. She would have been a coup if she had smoked too, but I couldn’t get too greedy and she really didn’t look the type anyway. The other two members of the group were two young black guys in their late teens, one of whom was smoking a Black ‘N’ Mild cigar, but the guys seemed disconnected from the girls throughout the sighting and appeared to be tagging along more than actively experiencing the fair with them. Anyway, back to the blond….
What a hot construction the progression of human development had presented in front of my face! And she was a serious smoker too, taking deep lung-penetrating drags followed by herculean hold times and understandably modest exhales given how much smoke was undoubtedly clinging to her blackened insides. Plus that face was just the perfect picture of a beautiful young girl who has been smoking heavily for a long time, and I had on the tip of my tongue from the get-go who she reminded me of but I wouldn’t figure it out until later, which I’ll get into then. While the sighting in motion for the first two minutes would have been satisfactory given the caliber of girls, I’d catch a bigger break as the trio settled onto a bench across the street from the beer gardens. As I said, blondie’s shorts were too tight to sit down in, so she stood in front of the bench, but her dark brunette smoker friend sat on the top of the bench with her feet hanging where people are meant to sit, as did the younger nonsmoking light brunette who I assumed was somebody’s baby sister, putting their feminine bodies on full display in an unusually well-lit area. The black guys hovered behind them talking to other people. I hovered effortlessly watching the show and was now able to enjoy some of the dark brunette’s show as well, who was no less than an 8.5 and would have easily gotten a writeup even if she was the only smoker of the three, but amongst this group she was the ugly duckling. But 80% of my attention went to the blond in the white shorts and her stylish performance and sexy profile. In fact, so much of my attention was directed her way that I missed the sighting’s most stunning development yet….
I looked up to the two girls sitting atop the benches and from out of nowhere, the younger girl now had a freshly lit 100 mm cigarette between her fingers as well. How did I miss that?!?! I was kicking myself that I missed what had to have been an adorable light-up, but if I was expecting a beginner smoker performance, she was about to let me down in the best possible way. Her drags were concise, long, and well-practiced, and her exhales were thunderclouds, the cloudiest exhaler of the bunch with triple-jet missiles firing out of the mouth and nostrils of this wholesome teenage face. As amazing as that blond was, the main attraction of this sighting had very abruptly switched girls….
It was way past dark and a photo was not going to turn out, but the spot they were sitting in gave me a glimmer of hope I could capture something worthwhile on camera, and I took a nicely centered snapshot featuring all three girls with cigarettes visible between their fingers. It’s too dark to fully appreciate, at least without the assistance of some FBI-quality image enhancing, but I couldn’t have possibly done better given the circumstances. With the photo out of the way, I just stood back and enjoyed the show, changing positions occasionally to get a better vantage point of one of the girls as rarely did more than a few seconds pass when one of them wasn’t illegally polluting the fairgrounds with her cancerous exhaust. The blond finished her cigarette first, dropping it to the pavement below her feet and crushing it out. I would stay until 2 a.m. if I needed to identify that butt, and it would indeed take awhile as she remained at that spot for a while. The dark brunette in the black shorts finished her cigarette about a minute later and tossed it to the grass in front of the bench, far enough away that I was able to seize a moment of distraction and approach the butt for an ID. It was a Newport 100 smoked down to the filter. I hung back again for the second half of the teen cutie’s cigarette. I swear each of her drags was followed up by the same thunderclouds fired out of her adorable little face. I had been worried about the storm clouds overhead, but the most dangerous clouds on these fairgrounds were coming out of the face of a teenage girl in microscopic jean shorts with flawless, folded legs hanging over the bench she sat atop…..
And this sighting would have one more incredible surprise in the moments before the light brunette finished her cigarette. The two black guys had been disconnected from the three girls for a good 3-4 minutes at this point, but suddenly they were chatting again, and the black guy with the plastic-tipped cigar was suddenly engaging with the blond sexpot in the white shorts, and holding his cigar towards her. Was this really about to happen? Damn straight! She took the cigar out of his hand and took a drag just as deeply as she was taking from her cigarette moments earlier. And just like after one of the drags from her cigarette, the cigar smoke rented a condo inside her lungs before being released in the form of a stinky exhale. She seemed to like the cigar, and the fact that the black guy was beckoning her to give it a try reaffirmed my suspicion that they probably weren’t that closely connected. The guys most likely just have exceptionally good taste in hot girls and were trying to see if they could land some of the hottest asses at the fair. Whatever the case, she handed it back to him and everyone returned to business as usual. The light brunette soon finished her cigarette and tossed the butt to the grass in front of her much like the dark brunette did, allowing me to approach and ID it without too much difficulty. It was also a Newport 100 smoked almost to the filter, indicating the girls were probably sharing from the same pack. But I still needed an ID on the blond’s cigarette just to make sure, and the group didn’t appear to be going anywhere….
I wanted to do a final midway run of the day, but wasn’t gonna abandon these girls for that long without getting a butt ID, so I just walked across the street to explore the beer gardens block for a few minutes and then returned to their spot, hoping they’d have left….but they still hadn’t. I was mildly frustrated, but my frustration was short-lived as blondie was in the middle of a full-body stretch, her arms raised above her head and her perfectly proportioned body on full display. My eyes centered on the odd 45-degree angle at which her flat stomach was bending out of those tight shorts as she stretched, and I would have paid $1,000 to bed her down at that exact moment. I did another short walk around the half block and this time, by the time I got back, the girls were gone and the bench was open where blondie had been standing. Sure enough, her discarded butt was a Newport 100 as well, confirming my suspicion that all three girls were smoking from the same pack, even though I wasn’t sure which girl possessed the pack. Whoever it was, they made my night at the Minnesota State Fair. I’m glad it never did rain, but even if the skies had opened up at that moment, I would had walked out of the fairgrounds happy as a goldfish in a fresh bowl.
About an hour later, I was getting down to the last half hour of the day and was frustrated by the fact that numbers did not seem poised to approach the 200 threshold that they usually do on Labor Day weekend at the Minnesota State Fair. If anyplace was gonna boost numbers, it was the beer gardens block and I encircled it again looking for quality smoker gals. As I proceeded down the block to the north of the beer gardens, I laid eyes on this blond in white shorts wielding a freshly lit cigarette who had literally launched a pheromone missile my direction, but this was no newcomer to my sightings list for the day. This was an old favorite. It was the gorgeous blond in the bare midriff top and the tight white shorts who was part of my best group of the day and was smoking another Newport 100 only about an hour after her last (and who knows if she smoked more in between). While it was gift enough to get an encore act from her, I figured her partners in crime would be closeby and I was right. The younger light brunette sexpot with the gentle face and the tiny jean shorts was close behind her and right behind her was the dark brunette in the black shorts. Both of them were brandishing cigarettes as well as they traversed the crowded street en route to the midway illegally exposing innocent fairgoers of all ages to their secondhand smoke and their irresistible sex appeal. Only this time the roles were reversed. It was the little girl whose cigarette was two-thirds smoked while the blond and the dark brunette had freshly lit ones in their hands. Given that someone in this group likely possessed the community pack, did this younger girl get a craving before the other two and demand a cigarette first? It seemed entirely possible. The younger light brunette looked back and beckoned the friend who was lagging behind with a “C’mon Nicole!” I’d have preferred to have gotten a name for either of the other two, but was still happy to put a name one of these beautiful smoky girls…
I watched from as close as I dared to get while following the three of them into the midway, seeing all the familiar features of their previous sighting. The light brunette was still producing thundercloud exhales in jet streams out of her mouth and nose, and leaving hovering smoke in her path for passersby to choke on (including me!) while the blond kept up with her long drags and longer-yet hold times before her nice exhales. The dark brunette was the least distinctive smoker of the three but that’s hardly a pejorative description with this trio. The light brunette finished hers first, dropping it to the pavement and not bothering to crush it out, while the other two still had more than half of their cigarettes left as they got in line for carnival tickets….
Unfortunately, the blond made me and I was not in a position to lurk without standing out like a sore thumb. Given that I had been lurking around them not that long earlier, I felt I had to depart sooner than I’d have preferred. But getting one final look at the blond’s beautiful but weathered late teen smoker’s face, it hit me who she looked like….another late teen with a beautiful but weathered smoker’s face who I dated last November named Cami, who for all intents and purposes looked like a lot like the late suicidal country singer Mindy McCready and who, coincidentally, also smoked Newport 100s. Having just turned 37 myself in August, I’m pretty sure Cami will be the last teen smoker I’ll ever get to date, but if I could score just one more, I’d kill for it to be her blond Minnesota State Fair lookalike. And since the two black guys from earlier were nowhere in sight at this point, there’s a good chance she’s available! Reluctant as I was to walk away here, I was elated to have gotten an encore from this trio which secured their standing as my best sighting of the day and indeed the best sighting of the 2014 Minnesota State Fair.
#1. Iowa State Fair Day 1, Sighting #99
My day and evening during my first visit to this year’s Iowa State Fair was already going very well even before I journeyed down the block on the concourse that separates the teen huddle that forms at the center of the fairgrounds after dark and the east side entrance to the midway. It was there that I spotted a group of teens (two guys and two girls) with an adorable petite blond as the only attractive one of the bunch, decked out in a white top and short jean shorts. I took a seat on a berm just outside the midway and watched her take the last couple of drags from her cork filter, featuring fairly modest draws, hold times, and exhales. As she dropped her cigarette to the ground and crushed it out, the thought even crossed my mind that she might just be a social smoker out smoking with her friends. Even so, that face was just precious, and she even had braces on her teeth that, when coupled with her diminutive size and soft facial features, made her look like she was about 15 even though the friends group helped convince me she was probably 17. As they drifted just a short distance away, I swooped in and IDed her discarded cigarette as a Marlboro Red. This was without question a memorable sighting and I was annoyed that I didn’t get to see more, but little did I know this sighting would shortly escalate into my best sighting of the day and one of my best Iowa State Fair sightings of all-time. To be continued…and continued….and continued….
About a half hour later, I was drifting to that seating area on the south side of the grounds. After dark, it tends to empty out almost entirely but it wouldn’t be the first time I came across underage teens sneaking a smoke in the area, and sure enough, there was a familiar-looking foursome hovering that night that included my petite blond Marlboro Reds smoker with braces who I had last seen about a half hour earlier. And what an eclectic foursome it was upon more isolated inspection. In addition to the adorable blond, there was a hip-looking black guy, a shirtless and muscular white guy, and this unattractive brunette female. Not sure what brought a group like this together in life but as I watched three of the four (the two guys and blondie) insert cigarettes in their mouths, it was bizarre how prophetic that common denominator would prove to be….
An unlit cigarette dangled in blondie’s mouth and it took about 30 seconds after I arrived and took a wide open bench before her lighter illuminated the dark corner of the grounds. The light-up itself was odd, with blondie producing a flame halfway between her and the shirtless white guy who both proceeded to lean forward into the flame until their cigarettes were lit. From there, the group started leaving the dark area, headed towards the main south side street. As I began to follow I noticed that the cigarette hadn’t left my little blond’s mouth since it was lit, and she was approaching the black guy with the lighter to fire up his cigarette. Her dangle, complete with at least two dangling drags, lasted at least 30 seconds before she finally removed it from her mouth. When I first saw this girl smoking up near the midway entrance, there was no indication there was anything special about her. That long distance dangle was the first evidence that proved my first impression was wrong, but it certainly wasn’t gonna be the last….
As they started walking down the south side, I thought it was the best-case scenario as it would allow me to watch from an inconspicuous side angle as they progressed, but I could never have imagined what weirdness was about to transpire. Blondie waved to the guy inside one of the food stands as if she knew him, and after walking about 15 yards down the block, decided she was gonna go back and talk to him. I didn’t know if she was gonna order food or not, but she didn’t. She just stood there talking to him and smoking her cigarette. It was just so cute seeing this 5’2” little blond with that cigarette in her hand, and as she took her first drag while standing there, the thought crossed my mind that her exhale might go inside the food stand, but if I was preparing myself for a homerun, what I got was a grand slam. Her exhale went straight into the food stand to the point that I could see the waves of smoke rolling inside even from across the street. Blondie realized a second after she exhaled what she had done and began waving her hand in front of her face in attempt to brush the smoke away, but the damage was done and her little boyfriend inside the food stand was being asphyxiated. I wish at that point I was closer so I could hear if she was apologizing to him or not. Whatever the case, her subsequent exhales were all directed to the side as she kept conversing with him for a couple more minutes before heading back to her friends group without making a purchase…
Finally I figured this sighting was gonna have some stability and predictability, but that wasn’t gonna happen. She began running back in the other direction again, and the shirtless guy playfully tried to stop her, racing her way and grabbing her by the waist as she held her cigarette out in front of her so she wouldn’t burn him. He let her go after a few seconds and she drifted, all by herself, back to the dark and empty seating area where this sighting had originated, sitting on a berm and texting furiously. The unpredictability worked to my advantage in this unusual situation though as I found a wide-open bench parallel to her to watch her smoke the rest of the cigarette in solitude…..
As I observed, I was struck that her style was generally pretty average, with medium-length drags and medium-sized all-mouth exhales, and certainly nothing like that long-distance dangle that began this second cigarette of hers for the evening, but she more than made up for the lack of stylistic flourishes with what the rest of the evening held for me. Her female friend finally showed up just as she was wrapping up the cigarette, which she flung in front of her in the dark without bothering to crush it out while wrapping up whatever oddball texting business she had to do all by herself in the dark. End of sighting right? Hardly. Not 10 seconds after this microscopic little blond princess stood up, she was foraging in her little purse again. She wouldn’t….would she? Unbelievably the answer was yes, as another cigarette came out and was placed in her lips. She fired up and confirmed my feelings that there was indeed something very, very special about this girl, the likes of which I had still just scratched the surface of even after a good 15 minutes invested in her at this point….
She was now out of the darkness and sat in a nearby bench with her group, smoking at least her third cigarette of the last half hour. I sat across the street on a bench of my own watching her smoke yet again, admiring that adorable face and racking my brain trying to think of who she reminded me of. It wasn’t until the bus ride home that it occurred to me that it was the mid-teen country singer Lila McCann who had a few hits in the late 90s before fading into oblivion. This girl’s features were just as wholesome as a 1998-era Lila McCann, right down to the braces, except this girl also had an adorable petiteness to her that lifted her above her country-crooning counterpart. Her group was hovering in front of her so I wasn’t seeing much….and I wanted to do some exploring elsewhere anyway so I finally proceeded down that south side block as far I could go, scoring a couple of mediocre sightings and then heading back the direction I came from, fully mindful of what I left behind but thinking for sure by this point the show had played out….
Sure enough, the foursome was still on that bench that they were on 10 minutes or so earlier when I abandoned the scene. And almost immediately when I got there, blondie was rummaging through her little white purse again. No way, I thought to myself! She can’t possibly be about to do it again. But out came an empty pack of Marlboro Reds that she tossed into the nearby trash can…..followed by a brand new pack of Marlboros that she starting packing against her wrist for the next 30 seconds ago. I nearly collapsed as I watched in awe as she opened the pack and started distributing cigarettes to her friends, offering one to the unattractive brunette girl as well who was the only one who took a pass. And then of course, blondie got a cigarette for herself, at least her fourth of the last 45 minutes, and lit up. Once again, I reclaimed my bench and watched her smoke at least half of the cigarette before the usual high risk of familiarity compelled me to leave. Besides, I wanted to make one more run down the midway tonight anyway with the 11:00 hour approaching….
I walked past the teen huddle and the beer gardens block and then into the midway, stitching together a few sightings but nothing particularly memorable over the course of the 15 minutes or so since I had migrated out of the south side. But when I exited the midway, I came out at the same area where I originally saw the teen foursome commandeered by the little blond about an hour ago….and they were back again….with my favorite blond on the final couple of drags of her FIFTH cigarette of the night, and that was just the ones I witnessed. I took a seat on the very berm in which I saw her take her first drag on that first cigarette, and she dropped this Marlboro Red to the ground and crushed it out. By this point I grew to expect the unexpected from this girl and while I didn’t want to jinx it by openly allowing myself to hope for yet another cigarette, I would barely have time to ponder the thought before her little white purse was opened again. My little cigarette Santa Claus opened that pack of Marlboro Reds and was again trying to corrupt her friends by handing them out….
The shirtless white guy (whose shirt was now on again) took it, but placed it behind his ear. He may be a smoker, but there was no way he was even gonna attempt to keep up with this tiny blond girl lest he be taken to the emergency room for nicotine poisoning. My little blond ashtray mouth was now lighting up her sixth cigarette in barely an hour…and that was just the ones I had witnessed. She did share a couple of drags off of this one with the brunette friend, who I hadn’t seen smoke at all up to this point, but blondie claimed most of the cigarette and got a couple of pics taken with the girl that made me wonder if those two were more than just “friends”. My blond certainly didn’t look like a stereotypical lesbian, but the brunette sure did. Either way, as soon as the photos were finished, the group zipped right on through the teen huddle, with the blond and at least one of the guys brandishing cigarettes as they did, and migrated to yet another isolated area in the dark where they sat by themselves and smoked. The isolation they sought validated my suspicion that some if not all of them are underage….
This was a sighting where everything just seemed meant to be, because as isolated as their location was, there was a series of mostly empty benches next to a food stand with a perfect vantage point to overlook them. The foursome kept chatting and horsing around as blondie finished off her sixth cigarette, the cherry glowing a bright red every time she took a drag in this dark location. She pitched the cigarette a good five feet to the side when she finished it this time, and sat waiting with baited breath if it was humanly possible for yet another encore. In less than a minute, I’d get my answer. As she prepared her seventh cigarette of the last hour and a half to light up, I was numb with a combination of elation and disbelief. How could I have ever imagined at 10:00 when I saw this girl smoking the last few drags off of that Marlboro Red near the midway that it would have snowballed into this. A real-life teenage girl chain smoker in the year 2014, a creature I had no idea even existed anymore, and an absolute adorable pint-sized one at that. As I watched her take her early drags off of this seventh cigarette, seated on that berm with her jean shorts so short that plenty of bare upper leg was touching that cement, I also found myself thinking that her standing on my all-time ISF greatest hits list was rising with each new cigarette list, and she was now positioning herself for the very upper reaches of my all-time list.
I was nonetheless getting anxious sitting here, wanting to see what this girl was capable of but also wanting to tick off more sightings. Given how close I was to the fairgrounds’ main sightings arteries, I decided to do small loops around to pick up some additional sightings but to be sure to come back to this spot every few minutes to see how high her cigarette number for the evening would go. And the craziest thing happened with blondie the chain smoker. After that seventh cigarette, she actually took a break. I hovered for about five minutes and she didn’t light up again yet remained sitting there BSing with her friends. This was my cue for another detour that would hopefully get my numbers up some, and I had already exceeded last year’s haul of 114. Had I not spent a good half hour at this point focused like a laser on this stinky little sexpot, who knows how high my number would have gone?!??!
After completing this latest loop and stitching together a few more modest sightings, it was back to my favorite cluster of benches yet again overlooking the isolated spot where Lila McCann’s chain-smoking baby sister was sitting. She was still sitting there, and before you even ask, the answer is YES! She was indeed in the middle of her eighth cigarette of the last hour and a half….and that was just the ones I saw. Remember a half hour passed between when I saw her smoke her first and her second, and she could have easily smoked three more cigarettes during that time. But alas, it was the eighth I had witnessed and I got there right before the two guys in her group were parting ways with the two girls, and I continued to get the lesbian lover vibe whether true or not just based on their body language around each other. Blondie’s cigarette continued to glow bright red in the darkness with her subsequent drags until she polished off that cigarette to her satisfaction and proceeded to spike it like a football on the cement. That in itself was cool enough but things got weirder when the brunette, who had taken no matter than three or four drags from any cigarette that evening, proceeded to jump off from the berm, pick up the still-smoldering cigarette off the ground and take another drag off of it. This was the oddest group of smokers I think I’ve ever come across, but I wouldn’t change a thing. A couple of minutes later, they both finally got up to leave, heading to the south side once again, and as 11:30 approached, I was prepared to abandon blondie for the night and make one loop through the main arteries of the grounds before leaving for my midnight shuttle bus.
I had a game plan for my final lap of the day about 10 minutes later, and the plan was going swimmingly as I proceeded down the south side but the evening would have one more detour from the day’s most familiar little blond. It would be one thing if I was consciously following this chainsmoker around all night, but I wasn’t…..I just kept randomly running into her with that ever-present cigarette in hand, and this time would be no exception. Standing right in front of the entrance to the horse barn next to her brunette friend, my adorable little blond was polishing off her NINTH Marlboro Red of the last two hours (again, her ninth that I had seen…there was plenty of opportunity for her to have smoked a few more that I missed). I would catch her right in the middle of her final drag before she dropped the smoldering butt to the ground and walked inside the horse barn with her friends. Once inside, she met back up with the two guys who must have gone in in front of her while she had to stand down to smoke her latest cigarette. And once inside, the guys were taking more pics of the two girls which set off a light bulb in my own head. I hadn’t even thought about trying to get a photo of my own up to that point given that it was dark and I didn’t want my flash to go off, but with my girl now inside a well-lit horse barn, this could be my chance. Unfortunately, there was no way they missed my lurking presence in the last two hours and I’d really be pushing my luck trying to score a photo, even as stealth as I’m able to be snapping pics with this camera phone. I opted to dance close to the sun and try to score a couple of photos from just outside. Neither of them ended up being close enough to truly capture this girl, but one at least gave a general sense of her size and pedigree.
I crossed the street to the south side beer gardens and foraged through the crowd to score another couple of modest sightings, but then migrated back to that horse barn to see if my favorite Iowa State Fair girl in years was still there. She was, lingering with the friends towards the back of the horse barn. Adorably, the little blond appeared to be talking to one of the horses inside the stall, and I felt sorry for the horse as his own manure had to have smelled better than being face-to-face with this chain-smoking little girl for an extended period. Seriously though, seeing her talk to this horse really got me to thinking about how erotic it would be to make out with this girl after she had just smoked nine Marlboros in two hours….
Was this a special occasion “partying at the fair” thing or does this girl really smoke at a comparable clip day in and day out? I’m inclined to believe it’s more likely the latter, and assuming she was going back to her senior year of high school in a couple of weeks, I can only imagine what a torturous adjustment it will be for her to struggle through a full day in class without the nicotine her body demands in such massive quantities. I once again strongly considered going inside and snapping a pic but it was just too risky with her friends right there with her. A close-up photo would have been the perfect icing on this multi-tiered cake, but even without one, how could I ever forget the face of the most prolific chainsmoker in my two-decade history of state fair fetishing? A sighting that started so unassumingly only two hours ago had morphed into an all-time classic, and if I walk away from state fair season with one “classic” on any given year, I feel like I’ve achieved a major victory. To have scored it on this day that I began with such limited expectations only made the victory that much sweeter…..
Now obviously as I left the Iowa State Fairgrounds that Saturday evening, it seemed certain that I had seen the last of my favorite new chain-smoking teen girl, but the damndest thing happened four nights later when I showed up on Wednesday night for my second day at the fair…..
It was approaching dusk as I ventured to the south side and slipped by the seating area once again that has been so rewarding this year. And I could see from afar that it was about to be again as I saw from behind two teenage girls with cigarettes sitting by themselves on a berm. And lucky me, I had my choice of benches across from them to get a front-row seat. I planted my ass on a bench directly across from them to get as close as possible, about to get one of the biggest pleasant surprises in the history of fair fetishing. Even though there were two girls smoking, I was only going to be able to count one of them as a sighting, and that was the decently attractive brunette in a red top and dark jeans. Now the reason that I didn’t count the other girl was not because she wasn’t attractive….she was in fact the more attractive of the two. I couldn’t count her because I never count a girl I’ve already counted before as a sighting earlier in the same year. In this case, it was a girl from Saturday night…..THE girl from Saturday night. I was staring right back at that innocent face of a petite blond who looked like 90s country singer Lila McCann….a face I couldn’t forget even if I got a full frontal lobotomy. As very close to unprecedented as it is for me at least in state fair sightings, I was seeing this same Marlboro Reds-chaining cutiepie again who smoked nine cigarettes in two hours on Saturday night. It was surreal enough to keep running into her on Saturday night, but now I was running into her yet again four days later!!
She was distracted on her smartphone when I sat down and since I knew she’d recognize me from Saturday, I quickly got up and moved a couple of benches away. The brunette friend, who by the way was a different and more attractive friend than the brunette she was with on Saturday, was just finishing her cigarette, crushing it out on the berm and that was the cue for the duo to get up and walk away, with my blond still clutching on to a couple of remaining drags on her cigarette. I followed at a bit of a distance, not wanting to get called out for two nights of familiarity, but I also wanted to get a couple of photos. After two more drags, she dropped the butt to the pavement, burning ash scattering all over as she halfheartedly crushed it out with her foot. Unsurprisingly, another Marlboro Red, now my 10th from her in two nights…..
I had one objective and that was to get photos of her since it was too dark to get good ones on Saturday night. Unfortunately, it was approaching dusk and I was at the danger zone where my photos start getting blurry without the flash. I managed a couple of rear photos that aren’t too bad, capturing her sexy body which tonight was draped in a more revealing black tanktop that exposed quite a bit of bare flesh on her back and a pair of very tight dark jeans. Now I preferred her short shorts from Saturday, but these jeans were sexy too, and the presentation made her look even more like Lila McCann circa 1998. I tried to take a couple side photos of her walking but they didn’t turn out, and I saw her looking my way both times and making awkward eye contact. I would definitely have to hang back at this point as the girl turned down the concourse and then headed into the midway….
I kept a distance as I followed, hoping she’d at least light up another cigarette. Instead, she met with her guy friends, at least one of them the same from Saturday night, and they stopped at some junk vendor in the midway and lingered long enough that I couldn’t risk hovering any longer and vacated, hoping and expecting I’d see her again later in the evening. As is the story all too often with this girl, to be continued…
Fast forward to 11 p.m. when I had an hour to go on the evening and was heading to the south side of the grounds. By this point in the night I had all but forgotten about her, thinking she had to have left early or I certainly would have seen her, but as I walked down the middle of the street on the south side and looked to my left, there she was…..my chainsmoking Marlboro Reds girl with the same friend as before…..and she was smoking another cigarette even though the friend wasn’t. This was the second cigarette I witnessed from her tonight and the 11th of two days at the Iowa State Fair, a record I suspect will hold for the rest of my life and for however short her life is likely to be. Once again, we made eye contact, which meant I had to tread carefully as I followed. Her cigarette looked recently lit so I should be in store for quite a show, and it turned out to be vintage unpredictability from my Lila McCann clone, who walked pass this cluster of middle-aged guys looking at this new statue of the couple from the American Gothic painting that was erected in the last year. For whatever reason, my smoker and her friend were prompting high-fives from these guys in their 50s . The guys awkwardly cooperated, touching the free hand of the teenage girl with the smelliest and most nicotine-stained fingers of anyone on the fairgrounds. She pressed forward on a near identical path that they took earlier in the night, on a direct line to the midway, as Miss Chainsmoker kept taking her modest drags and modest exhales from the cigarette…
Once in the midway, the girls continued their immature little game of high-fiving everyone they came across from random midway people to the carnies operating the rides and games. In between high-fives, she predictably attended to her cigarette. Finally, she finished off the cigarette and crushed it out right before high-fiving a guy with a jumpshot basketball game, who let her take a shot after the high-five, which she missed. The girls pressed on and I felt I was so exposed that I only dared to follow for another minute or so, in hopes she’d smoke another cigarette. When she didn’t, I turned around to fetish elsewhere, still hoping and fully expecting to run into her again with as empty as the grounds were becoming. Sadly I wouldn’t and her 2014 Iowa State Fair saga came to an end. But what an unbelievable ride with this girl who seemed next to impossible to beat for the for 2014 Sighting of the Year, and indeed it played out that way.
So there’s my 2014 top-25 list, a list I’m quite proud of and believe holds up with previous years’ lists of favorites. Hopefully, nobody’s favorites from the writeups were overlooked. Last year, I tried posting my top-25 fairgrounds sightings in late November rather than clustering it with my other year-end favorites lists and felt it worked out great, giving more exposure to all three of my lists. After Christmas, I will post my other two favorites lists from 2014, neither of which is entirely complete at this point as I still have my holiday tour of the malls coming in December.